Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, emotional blackmail, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft
I rarely go over to Joan Wheeler’s website – because it’s all the same bullshit over and over. anti-adoption, and how Joan has suffered because of her adoption. Ho-Hum.
But this morning, I went over there and found this little ditty that she put up:
A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. – Wayne Dyer
I like Dr. Dyer. I have several audio cassettes and cd’s of his motivational lectures. But I think Joan is just trying as usual to pump herself up for her blog-readers. Well, actually, what is going on, is Joan is trying to “stick it” to us again. She has found out the past 2 and a half years that she can’t shut us up. Since we’ve had this blog, and were successful in getting her filthy book pulled from publication, Joan has tried to shut us up several ways.
She went to the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum and incited them to come over to this blog and try to shut us “fuckheads” down. (Her words: “If enough of us complain to wordpress, we can shut those fuckheads down.” And a whole bunch of them came over and left obscene messages here. That was in February 2010. She tried it again in May 2010. A few of them came over. She tried again several months later. Nobody came. She got her then-boyfriend to do it. He left a couple of nasty messages here. She got Susan Thompson Underdahl to try some shit with us. Failed. Just as in the past, she tried to get Rene Hoksbergen (in 1993) to help her extort money from Kathy. And this was just 3 years after she stole hundreds of dollars from me.
She put up a “cyber-bullying” blog to show that we birth sisters of hers are cyber-bullying” her because we dare to take lies from her book and tell the truth. This so-called cyber-bullying” page is in itself an act of cyber-bullying by Joan of us, because it is full of our personal information. And twisted lies.
She keeps saying all over the internet that because we dared to speak up about the truth of our own lives, we are “hurting” her. We are “harassing” her. We are “running her into the ground.” We are making her “go inside herself.” We are making her “have panic and anxiety attacks and be depressed.” – all this, because we find a lie she said about us and we told the truth.
And the worst thing she did was enlist her then-boyfriend to write a hate message in my father’s memorial book in the funeral home, just across the room from my father’s body.
She posted some lying crap about my grandfather on the Huffington Post, and the results were that she got kicked off that website.
On March 5, 2012, she left her first and only comment to this blog, taking a past post of mine, and taking things out of context, tried to show that I was inciting her to commit suicide. I picked about her comment, and even posted an actual photograph of Joan that showed a line in her comment was a lie.
Now we have this quote from Dr. Dyer. Is it to show how progessive she is in her thinking? No, not by a long shot.
Here is the quote again, and pay attention to the bolded words: A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
No, Joan didn’t put that quote up there to help anyone (not even herself), or to show that she’s getting some wisdom – she put that up there to try to “teach” us nasty birth sisters to stop “harming” her.
We’ve been accused of all sorts of harm to Joan. The big one that I was accused of was calling child abuse on her in December 1994 and saying that she and my then-fiance were sexually abusing her children. The caller identified themself as me.
I have posted actual written letter BY JOAN to my fiance and his mother after this child abuse call. In it, she is telling John to leave me, trying to get his mother to turn against me.
In the months before the abuse call was made, Joan was on the phone with my employer calling them almost every day to get me fired over a false accusation that I had hacked into my employer’s computers and tampered with her medical bill. I was investigated and found innocent. Joan says again on her cyber-bullying page that I am a computer hacker. So in 1994, she couldn’t get me fired, so she calls child abuse on herself, and gives my name as the caller, names my fiance as the abuser. This was a blatant attempt to break me and John up. Didn’t work, the fiance is now my husband – 10 years now. – This was also the time frame (1993-1995) that Joan’s own marriage was breaking up.
I’ve been accused of other “harms” to her – read this blog – you’ll find them all documented here.
So now we have Joan, trying to give some “anti-harm” wisdom. Oh really Joan, you’ll have to do better than that. – For one thing, to soothe your guilty conscience, you need to read that page at the top and on the right side menu – “What is demanded of Joan Wheeler.” and I have copied and pasted that entire list of demands at the end of this post.
No, reader, Joan Wheeler is not Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. In reality, she is Ms. Bull-Shit-Boots.
“Anti-harm” wisdom? oh puh-leaze Joan. Like you didn’t mean to harm me when you called my employer repeatedly to get me fired? Like you didn’t me to harm us when you called us “fuckheads” on the adoptee forum? Like you didn’t mean to harm us when you told all those filthy lies in your book? Like you didn’t mean to harm us in that filty rant of yours on your blog in December 2009 when you threatened to expose “all the dirty little secrets” you think we sisters have? That’s called emotional blackmail Joan – and it is HARM. And readers, I have challenged Joan many times in the past on this blog to come forth and tell everybody just what dirty little secrets she thinks she has over us. I challenged her again last month! We have no “dirty little secrets” to have exposed.
So you see reader, what a sniveling little bull-shitter Joan Wheeler is. And a low-down hypocrite.
“A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”
Right Joan – if I were you, I would read those words very carefully, over and over and then read this list of demands again. Only one demand has been met, the pulling of the book off the market, and it wasn’t done voluntarily by Joan. We birth sisters did it. By showing documented proof – actual court documents – that Joan Wheeler HARMED us by slandering us in her book.
What is demanded from Joan Wheeler
The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1.Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
2.Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
3.Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
4.Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
5.Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
6.For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
7.Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
8.Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
9.Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
10.For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
11.For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
13.For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
14.An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
15.For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
1.The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
2. Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
3.Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
4.The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
1.Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
2. gertmcqueen – April 14, 2012
Gert here…
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
On June 22, Daisy says this:
I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.
And on June 28, I say this in reply:
Daisy – you need to READ the blog AND Joan’s book before you comment – it is JOAN who needs psychiatric help. She says in her book that I, Ruth have an arrest record and a criminal record, when I do not. THAT is NOT her opinion, that is slander and libel. And I have every right to answer her lies.
As to scary – scary is when someone (Joan) gets on discussion forums (The Huffington Post) and says that I was sexually molested by my grandfather when I was child. When I was not. (amendment – explanation, June 29, 2011, 3:30 pm). This was in March 2011. and NO, I was not sexually abused as a child. And if I were – how does Joan DARE to put that on the internet? Within a half an hour of Joan posting it – a complaint was sent to Huffington Post, Joan’s comment was removed, her account canceled. Now talk to me of scary Daisy – Joan needs to apologize to every victim of child sexual abuse, because instead of taking that horrendous crime seriously, she USED it as a weapon against me and my sisters. And on top of that – someone of her own family suffered through that crime – and Joan knows it – she was there – caring for the victim. To turn that pain around and USE it to try to hurt her sisters - Now tell me who needs psych help Daisy. We blogged about that incident on March 7 and in these posts: What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? and Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers. This last post was because Joan, who loves to boast that she is a social worker (even though she never had a job as such) violated the code of of ethics of social workers when she blabbed on the internet about a (supposed) child sexual abuse victim.
Scary is when someone (Joan) gets on the internet, names MY employer, and accuses me of computer hacking, when I have not done this. THIS is scary – that I could possibly lose my job because of JOAN’S lies! –
Fear not – Joan tried that in 1994 – six months of continued calls to my employer trying to get me fired – administration had a meeting and told all persons throughout the hospital to hang up when Joan Wheeler called! –
For you, Daisy, to not read what I’ve been saying is the truly scary part – because you seem as though you need some therapy yourself.
Now, I further say this to Daisy and everyone else: If Joan has the Freedom of Speech to self-publish a book that contains slander and libel about me, I have the Freedom of Speech to answer her on this blog.
Further, since I have in my possession actual BUFFALO CITY COURT RECORDS that attest to the fact that I, Ruth Sippel Pace was NOT placed under arrest, and was NOT sentenced to probation, and submitted copies of these documents to Trafford Publications, the publisher of Joan’s book, and cited the pages that Joan said that I was arrested and placed on probation, it was PROVEN that Joan LIED in her book about me. Therefore, her book was pulled from publication.
But it does not end there – Joan NEEDS TO RECANT HER STATEMENTS ABOUT ME AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS! Joan needs to step forward and ADMIT THAT SHE LIED ABOUT ME IN HER BOOK AND ON HER WEBSITES.
JOAN NEEDS TO FORMALLY AND PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE FOR HER LIES ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY THAT SHE PUT IN HER BOOK AND CONTINUES TO PLACE ON THE INTERNET!
JOAN NEEDS TO REMOVE HER SO-CALLED “CYBER-BULLYING” PAGE THAT CONTAINS MY EMPLOYER’S NAME AND SAYS THAT I AM GUILTY OF COMPUTER HACKING.
Daisy, you say that I have a problem – yes I do – this sort of thing IS POTENTIALLY DAMAGING TO MY CAREER! Daisy, how would YOU like it if I got on the internet and named YOUR employer and accused YOU of computer hacking? Answer truthfully – YOU WOULD NOT LIKE IT. That is not Joan’s “opinion” that I am a computer hacker – that is a LIE!
Amendment, June 28, 6:30pm:
In driving in to work just now, (and before Joan gets a conniption fit and starts talking shit again – I am NOT clocked in – I still have a half hour before I start work – and I am on my personal laptop, NOT hospital property) - anyway, in my van, I was listening to a motivational tape that featured entrepreneur and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. Mr. Ziglar was giving the narrative of a situation of where a person could tie a kerchief over their face, enter a bank, stick their hand in their pocket and point their finger as to suggest they had a gun. He would be able to successfully rob the bank, even though he did not in actuality have a gun. Mr. Ziglar then said: “The evidence may be false, but it will appear real.”
And so does Joan’s statements about me and my family. Daisy would do well to THOROUGHLY get to the bottom of what she reads on the internet. But I guess she is one of those blind people who blithely believe what she reads. Daisy needs to read my next post, Of Lies and Deceipt, Honor and Integrity – A Comparison Study of Joan Wheeler and The Three Sippel Sisters and read it thoroughly and do some research before she opens her mouth and makes silly comments.
(back to my original post) – Now read this Missy Daisy and if you are intelligent, you will READ it and not comment stupidly next time. Because you obviously don’t understand TRUTH and HONOR and INTEGRITY!
From my post of November 2, 2010, What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler:
The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
2. Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
3. Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
4. Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
5. Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
6. For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
7. Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
8. Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
9. Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
10. For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
11. For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
13. For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
14. An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
15. For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
1. The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
2. Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
3. Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
4. The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
1. Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
1. Gert McQueen – June 28, 2011
On June 22, Daisy says this:
I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.
Gert here:
yep we have a problem and it’s called personal and family honor that has been taken away from us by Joan Wheeler and her lies!!!
I assure you that we are very secure with ourselves, it is only Joan who is not! That is why she has hidden behind a book of lies and gets others to do her talking for her when she is brought to task.
Personal opinions are like aholes, everyone has one, but when they are slanderous and libelous they are very DANGEROUS things and MUST be exposed!
Scary?! You obviously have never been on the receiving end of what Joan Wheeler can dish out.
I would welcome some lawyer, court, to come and tell me that I ought to cease and desist with regaining MY personal honor and MY families honor from Joan Wheeler…I welcome it, bring it on!!
Joan has a entire blog where she ORDERS us to cease and desist I answered every line of that stupid nonsense, right here on this blog.
And Daisy…what are your creditials to recommend that we need psychiatric help? No, my dear, it is not us that need that kind of help…Joan has done quite well in documenting her mental status in that book.
you really ought to read that if you want to know SCARY!
2. Gert McQueen – June 29, 2011
On Nov 24 and 30, 2010, here on this blog, I answered Joan Wheeler’s cease and desist order that she placed on a blog. Please go and read it to inform yourself about how Joan Wheeler operates and my views and opinions of her ‘order’!
According to Joan she created that blog on advise of police. If that is so why has she not offered proof of such…no police department would tell her to do so…she is a bullshitter. She further states that NY has no laws against cyberbullying (as she calls our freedom of expression) and that no court will help her. Again those are empty threats with the thin veil that she ‘spoke’ with authorities…she never has because she doesn’t have any case against us. What Joan has done by that blog is a continued form of HARASSMENT and SLANDER against us!
According to Joan, only she is entitled to her views and opinions…we sisters are not so entitled. She can not accept that we are speaking our truth, our opinions and our views. She offers only empty threats…if she could stop us she would have done so already and be done with us.
So…we shall continue on…with refuting the book of lies that Joan Wheeler wrote and which got pulled by the publisher because they want nothing to do with libelous material…wise decision on their part.
Reply - Ruth – June 29, 2011
What Daisy and others who don’t take the time to READ this blog and do their research is that it is JOAN who keeps the escalation going. Even when there have been times that we have not posted on our blog, we come on the internet and find yet ANOTHER slam against us from Joan. She keeps repeating “My sisters are bothering me.” But does she say HOW? “My sisters are interfering in my life.” But does she say HOW? Absolutely NOT! And little baa-baa sheep like Daisy, Mara, MYst, Heather, read Joan’s whines, BELIEVE her crap, then come running over here to leave unintelligent hate messages.
On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to inform her that an aunt died. I had first called my father. Knowing that he had recently thrown her out of his house (again – what does that tell you?) I asked if he still had her number. He sounded tired (he was 86 years old) so I made the call for him. Joan asked where I got her number – as I am a truthful person, I told her. She was not happy. I told her Aunt Doris died. She said to me very surly, “THANK you for telling me that, but…” then she proceeded to blast my eardrums with obscenities and verbal abuse. She was screaming so hard I couldn’t understand half she said. I slammed the phone down and broke into tears. What did I do wrong? I jumped in my car and went first to my cousin’s house, then my dad’s. In the meantime, Joan had called my father and screamed at him to the point that he also slammed the phone down. (Elder abuse). When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis and Gert McQueen are not to contact Joan.um, it was RUTH who called, NOT Kathy, not Ger. And it was NOT a harassing call – it was to inform Joan of a family member’s death.
A few days later, Gert called the police herself to tell them OUR side of the story – and the police told her “don’t worry, we know all about Joan.” – what does THAT tell you? It tells you that Joan is the escalator of things. She exaggerates everything. She accuses people of doing things when they are not doing things.
This little story has been blogged her several times now – DAISY – READ SOMETHING FIRST BEFORE YOU COMMENT ON IT BECAUSE ALL YOU ACCOMPLISHED IS TO SHOW ME HOW SILLY YOU ARE.
I had closed this blog to comments before because Joan had gotten her buddies and her boyfriend to come here and leave hate messages. Obscenities, and stupid remarks like Daisy’s. I would welcome INTELLIGENT comments. And I have gotten a couple. Myst for one, came over here and left a very nice comment, which I answered. I will close the comments again – because in the long run – the purpose of this blog is NOT for us really hear any of Joan’s buddies trying to justify Joan’s actions – because there is NEVER any justification in the crap that Joan has done to us. And is still doing.
As to my time and energy – don’t worry about it Daisy – why don’t you ask yourself why are YOU wasting so much time on us? You should be spending your time and energy in getting some psychiatric help for the person who needs it – Joan. Because even the police think she’s a lunatic.
And yes, Gert and I, (and in the past, our father) ARE qualified to make that kind of evaluation on Joan, because we have known her personally for 37 years. We have suffered through her harrassments. If Joan is suffering now, it’s because 37 years of mistreating the very people she dreamed about, fantasized about, WANTED in her life – her birth family. She hated the fact she was adopted. Was pissed off when she found about her adoption when she was a kid. Grew up resenting her aparents. Made the desicion at 16 to find her birth family – FANTASIZED that her birth family would be this wonderful fairy tale family that would make all her problems disappear! When that didn’t happen, she set out to punish us. When she found out that we were only human, and made mistakes in life AS EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET – Joan set out to punish us.
AND FOR WHAT? I asked before on this blog – WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO JOAN THAT MADE HER SET OUT TO HATE AND PUNISH ME?
These are the things Daisy, that you should be questioning. And when you find the answers, THEN come and talk to me.
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, false accusations of sexual abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, Lies, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, theft, whining
by Ruth Sippel Pace
clarification, I copied and pasted a post that Joan had placed on the adoptee forum, and I answered here, on my blog. In the past, Joan has accused me of stalking her on the internet to see what she writes – call it stalking if you want, I call it “monitoring” what Joan says about me and my family. Because I have the right to know what is written about me. And if it’s a lie, I will mostly definitely straighten that lie out. Don’t like what I’m doing Joan? – too bad. THEN STOP WRITING ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY ON THE INTERNET – AND MOST IMPORTANT – STOP LYING ABOUT ME. A month ago, we sent this same message – after Joan got on the Huffington Post to smear our reputations and my grandfather’s reputation. – Whenever I see that Joan has writted stuff about me – I will be right there – because that it is my right. — Ruth Sippel Pace, April17, 2011, 11:17pm.
The other day I wrote an answer to this post that Joan placed on the adoptee forum:
“Realize that whatever trauma they have lived through, real or imagined, is what is driving them to hurt you.”
I answered: “Yeah, I get that Joan – whatever CRAP you went through as a child you are now taking out on your birth sisters. .. Well, I don’t give a DAMN what you went through. I don’t give a DAMN that your adoptive parents lied to you – you don’t get to write a book and tell lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. You don’t get to get on the internet and tel lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!”
I see that’s a bit harsh and wish to explain. When I was first reunited with Joan, and was getting to know her – I most certainly DID have sympathy for her for her “adoption trauma.” Of all her birth family, I believe I was the most supportive of her. It was ME who told her to “go for it,” when she first had the idea to write a book. It was ME who accompanied her to WGRZ-TV studio for a taping of human interest story on adoption reunion. This was in 1980 or 1981. – (addendum – April 18, 2011,) – addition, April 27, 2011: Anyone wishing to verify this story, contact reporter Rich Kellman at WGRZ-TV studios, 259 Delaware Ave, Buffalo, NY 14202. I’m not sure if they would still have records of this taping, but I don’t think it would hurt to ask. This verifies that I, one of Joan’s birth sisters, did indeed SUPPORT her in her adoption interests and causes, and did indeed have a relationship with her 30 years ago, despite her LYING and saying that we did not. I, Ruth Sippel Pace, provide documentation of everything that I say on this blog, contrary to Joan Wheeler, who gives NO proof, NO documentation, to prove her LIES.
and why didn’t these 2 instances of me supporting her and her adoption cause make it into her book on adoption? She writes about herself going to all these adoption reform meetings and conferences, her letters to the editorial pages of newspapers, but she doesn’t mention going to WGRZ-TV to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman? She was on TV, talking about adoption reunion, and she doesn’t write about it in her book about adoption? – She writes about how even a couple of people in the adoption reform field discouraged her to write her book – yet fails to write how I, her “horrible” birth sister actually encouraged her to write the book AND appeared on TV with her to discuss our reunion. – NO, she can’t write about that, see, because it would put into questiion her continual lying statements that “she had to be silenced” about her adoption interests. The only time we try to “silence” her is when she bores us to death on the subject or when she LIES – which is just about 99% of the time.
Although I did not agree to her tactics regarding my oldest sister’s Gert’s children – in fact I was appalled at Joan’s interference and bullying Gert over the adoption of Gert’s son by her and her new husband. And when she called child abuse on Gert over daughter, I was very angry with Joan.
In 1983, I was a bridesmaid in Joan’s wedding. She had borrowed my mother’s wedding gown 4 years earlier, volunteering to have it restored. She and her seamstress used the gown as a model to make a copy of. But then Joan removed bead trim off the original dress and put it on her own. She promised to replace the trim. She never did. When I got the gown back several months later, she had never restored or cleaned the gown. I waited until she asked me to babysit for her, and when that day came, I brought a pair of scissors with me and removed the bead trim from Joan’s gown – because the trim belonged to me – on my mother’s wedding gown – that my father had given me. – This was the first theft that Joan committed against me.
As the 80′s progressed – so did Joan’s bad behavior. Yet I continued to have a relationship with her. (despite her saying on the Huffington Post that we did not). I had been trying to conceive and had several books on pregnancy and child rearing. Joan even borrowed some of them – and I had a hell of a time getting them back. (so much for her saying in her book that I had merely “claimed” to want to have children). It was Joan who drove me home from the hospital in June 1985 after my miscarriage, and it was ME who drove her and her new daughter home from the hospital in October 1986.
In June 1987, Joan and I were on the phone. I was still grieving the loss of my son, (indeed, to this day, I still grieve), and I told Joan that I did not want to discuss infertility. But did Joan respect my wishes? No., she kept on talking about it. I told her 3 more times I did not want to talk about it. She kept on talking. I finally yelled at her to shut up and hung up on her. What kind of idiot keeps talking about a painful subject when the person asks, then finally demands that they don’t? I did not speak to Joan for a full year. I did not write to her. I did not call her.
But in 1988, I did call, and we reconciled. This was the time that we spent many days at the beach with her children – the summer of 1988, I was on disability for a back injury at work. I was going for physical therapy in the mornings, and enjoyed afternoons at the beach with my sister and her kids. These outings continued through the summers of 1989 and 1990, when my work schedule permitted it.
But Joan continued her bullying of me. And stealing from me. In 1990, we decided to buy an apartment building together. I borrowed money from the bank for a down payment. The money was in a joint checking account to be used for lawyer fees, real estate broker fees, etc. By September 1990, we didn’t find an apartment building that would suit us, and we dissolved the partnership. When the back account was closed, there was a lot of money missing. Joan confessed to me that she had been using the money for her day to day living expenses. I was livid. I borrowed this money from the bank to buy real estate, not to support Joan, who had a husband – who had a job. Our lawyer was to return part of his fee – and he sent us a letter that I would receive half, and Joan would receive half. Joan and I agreed that when she cashed her check, I would get the cash, because the lawyer’s fee was paid for out of the money that I had borrowed and placed in the account.
Then Joan called me on the phone and stated that she was keeping the money. I had finally had it with her bullshit bullying me and told her to keep the fucking money, but she was not my sister, and to stay away from me.
We did have a couple more interactions during the following year, mostly she kept calling and giving me excuses why she couldn’t repay me the money that she STOLE from me. Each time I just kept my distance.
Then by 1993 the out and out fighting began. For more details on the meddling, Joan’s stalking me, her pranks, her trying to get me fired from my job, her writing bullshit letters to elected officials about me – see my post of November 2, 2010, What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.
I remember shopping with my cousin Gail once, around 1991, and I were talking about Joan and the shit she had done to me. I told Gail, “I don’t know who I’m more angry at – Joan for doing this shit, or myself for allowing her to do it.”
Gail said, “You do it because you love her. You are trying to be a sister to her. I had some issues with my sister Ida, but this is different. Ida didn’t steal from me or tell lies. You need to put your foot down.”
And I did. In 1991, I refused to be Joan’s doormat any longer. And that’s when the real shit began and continues to this day. THAT is why throughout her book, the one person in Joan’s birth family that is the most written about in her filthy book is ME. Almost every page is Brenda this, Brenda that. (she calls me Brenda in her book). Because I had turned the cheek so many times to her shit and continued to take her shit – then when I stood up for myself – Joan set out to punish me along with other people in her book.
And I state here and now: I am a human being and do not deserve to be treated the way Joan has treated me. She had a wonderful person (me) who loved her. Who accepted her – as she was. I never judged her. I supported her. I loved her. BUT NO MORE. SHE PUSHED ME AWAY FROM HER – SHE TURNED MY LOVE FOR HER TO HATE. My hate for her has NOTHING to do with Joan’s imaginings that I blame her for our mother’s death, or her stupid lying shit that my grandfather molested me and I am jealous that Joan was adopted out and escaped that abuse. What a crock of shit – my grandfather never molested me or my sisters. But Joan will stop at nothing – she loves to tell lies about me and my sisters.
The reason I hate Joan is because of her own actions to me. Joan needs to take responsiblity for her own choices in life. At the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to search for her birth family. She didn’t have to look for us – we found her. (our bad). But we had no idea that our younger sister was a such a BITCH. We took her to our hearts, and she betrayed and hurt each and every one of us. And one by one, we all turned our backs on her -even our father threw her out of his house several times, the last incident being in 2009, where he called his lawyer and REMOVED Joan from even his pre-planned funeral arrangements and his self-written obituary.
It is all on Joan. She did this. She treated her birth family like shit and we Sippels are not shit.
And that is why I reiterate what I wrote to Joan the other day and I don’t give a DAMN that it is harsh:
I don’t give a DAMN what you went through. I don’t give a DAMN that your adoptive parents lied to you – you don’t get to write a book and tell lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. You don’t get to get on the internet and tel lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!
Here is the gist of my post of November 2, 2010 – a concise listing of the shit that Joan has done to her birth family.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
- Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
- Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
- For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
- Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
- Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
- Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
- For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
- For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
- For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
- For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
- An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
- For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
- The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
- Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
- Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
- The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
- Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
- The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
Now ask me if I care about any “trauma” Joan is going through. – I don’t.
Additional comment by Gert McQueen, Saturday, April 16, 2010:
Ruth’s newest post called…Why I don’t give a DAMN about Joan Wheeler’s adoption trauma or any other “trauma” she’s going through is very well said! Excellent! Concise! Accurate!
And yes the purpose of this blog is to refute and expose every dirty thing that Joan Wheeler has done to our entire family and we shall NEVER stop exposing the TRAUMA that Joan has done to us!
I would like to add something more to this item:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
1(a) Falsely accusing Gert and husband of child abuse to her daughter. Those charges were PROVEN to be totally FALSE and were EXPUGED by the State and never were to be EXPOSED by anyone including Joan.
1 (b) Joan and Doctor Hoksbergen’s statements about me sexually abusing Joan are based purely on some kind of adoption pyschobable nonsense…there is no truth to such nonsense…these false accusations (sexual abuse and child abuse) are Joan’s attempts to ‘hit below the belt’ at me for NOT continuing a sexual three-way that Joan wanted to have and continue.
I stand by my decision in 1981…I divorced her from my family…I renounced her then and I maintain that denouncement…Her conception and birth to my parents was an ACCIDENT OF THE FATES. She is NO SISTER and I shall continue to refute her lies to my dying day!
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, facts, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, Truth
Is everyone’s truth really the truth?
by Gert McQueen
It was once believed that the sun rotated around the earth…that was fact! People died if they didn’t believe it.
If someone still believes that the sun rotates around the earth…are they still right? Is their truth…really true?
I have used the famous statement of the second president of the USA, John Adams, in a blog posting, to point out that a personal truth (Joan’s) is not really the truth. John Adams said “Facts are Stubborn Things”.
Joan NEVER provides facts! Her truth is not the truth!
Daniel Patrick Moynihan said “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.”
This was said in response to someone who said that President Obama is not a citizen of the USA.
It has been said to me, by a friend, that if someone believes something it is truth to them. Okay!
We all know perfectly acceptable examples of such. But, there are beliefs and opinions and then there are FACTS. And Joan Wheeler does not have the facts. All she can do is scream her hate and venom against the very people, her blood sisters, who are DEFENDING themselves against her continued lying and slanderish statements that she put in a book in the first place.
It is a FACT that Joan wrote a book of lies and we sisters are DEFENDING ourselves, everywhere we can. If Joan doesn’t like that, she knows what she can do about it. Give up the book and all statements against the birth family and/or take us to court!
I for one would really relish seeing the FACTS that Joan has to prove her statements. It’s way past the time for Joan to shit…bring out her facts…or get off the pot…her campaign against us.
We are not done yet Joan…do you have the strength to keep up the fight for your truth! We do, we have the facts to support our statements and therefore I say again…Facts are Stubborn Things.
“Nobody can acquire honor by doing what is wrong.”
–Thomas Jefferson
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bluffing, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, dishonesty, emotional abuse, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, police, polygraph, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
by Ruth Pace and Gert MccQueen
On March 5, 2011, Joan Wheeler and I had a little exchange on The Huffington Post website. I have already posted about that in my post here . Joan chose to start the insults and mudslinging again. She copied and pasted crap from her lying cyberbulling website, slandering us again. Gert McQueen and I, have posted on the site, and NOT our sister Kathy. But Joan, who seems to think that the Three Sippel Sisters are one entity, not only slanders me and Gert, but Kathy as well. Kathy has done nothing. Kathy has not posted to the Huffington Post website, and as far as I know, has not even gone there to read any of the stuff. But Joan in her mudslinging doesn’t care – and true to her snotty character, falsely accuses Kathy of bothering her.
I must first point out that when we see Joan post on the internet, if it is strictly about her work in the adoption reform field, we respect that. We do NOT comment. HOWEVER, if Joan posts about us or our family, we DO speak up, because usually when she writes about her birth family it is a bunch of lies. And it is not neccessary to speak about her birth family when she writes about her adoption reform issues. It is only neccessary to speak of us in generalities. As a matter fact, since she was adopted in 1957, and she was reunited with us in 1974, she has no business at all writing about her birth family’s lives from 1957 to 1974, as she was not there, and events in my life, my sisters’ lives, and the rest of our family’s lives have no bearing on her adoption, her adoption reform work, or her at all. And when Joan posts about me or my family, I have the right to know what is being said about me and my family. And since she is posting about us, we have the right to answer it.
In response to Joan’s comments on the Huffington site, Gert posted one comment, and I posted several. I was disgusted by Joan’s continual slanderous attacks on me and my sisters, so I flagged Joan’s comments this morning. I flagged them as offensive, because they were. Joan was once again spreading lies about me and my sisters.
This afternoon, around 1:30 pm, Gert wrote another comment in response to Joan’s lies. Comments posted are saved until approved by a moderator. Gert had the good sense to copy and paste not only her pending comment, but Joan’s previous comments. Ten minutes later, the moderators at Huffington Post pulled all of Joan’s slanderous comments. With them, all answering comments were also deleted. I was copying and pasting my comments on notepad, but accidentally deleted them. But we have at least one exchange that Gert had saved and sent it to me via email, to post here. To show our blog readers what kind of a snake Joan is.
To sum up what happened – Joan commented on adoption, which is fine by me, BUT then she mentions my family again. Joan had said that she was adopted at the age of 4 months. I answered her and corrected her and said she was adopted at the age of 3 months. But I was wrong – it was indeed 4 months. Joan answered and corrected me. Fair enough. HOWEVER, Joan, with her diarrhea of the mouth (and fingers on the keyboard) began to slander me again. AND my sisters. She then said that she has had no relationship with us for over 3 decades. Well, I answered back and corrected her that 3 decades, 30 years, takes us back to 1981, and I was a bridesmaid of hers in 1983. I told her stop lying. Joan of course, can’t stand to be corrected, and launched into a full scale assault on us again. I countered with the truth, which Joan cannot stand, so she posted her offensive shit again.
Because these things have been deleted, no one can see them. Except for a couple of them, right here. Now you can see how Joan goes on other internet sites and attacks us and slanders us.
Here is Gert’s email to me, in it’s entirety, except for email addresses removed. Joan’s original posts are in blue. Gert’s posts are in green.
From: ger@ Subject: saturdays’ posts
To: ruth -
CC: ger -
here’s what I wrote that didn’t get on….I say…use this on the blog….show people how she goes after us and how we defend ourselves and even tho we got kicked off the Huff, so did Joan…but unlike Joan we will put it up on the blog
To Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis, Gertrude Sippel McQueen
You can search my names on Google, read every comment and post I ever wrote, send follow-up comment postings and email to instigate and aggravate me. You don’t want me in your life so stay out of mine.
You are a destructiv e force in the goals that I, and other adoption reformers, want to achieve.
I have gone to the police repeatedly to try to stop you. Orders of Protection only work for six months or one year, then, you are back again. New York State does not have Internet Bullying Laws. If New York did have these laws, I would have all three of my sisters arrested and convicted for causing me emotional and financial distress.
My three sisters do prove my point that separating siblings, especially after the death of a parent during childhood, damages the children who bring their mental anguish into adulthood.
My siblings have been inflicting their sick perversion s and twisted obsessions upon me and my children and my adoptive mother since 1974. It appears that they will continue this right into old age and death. That is how mentally sick they are.
http://cyb erbulliess talkers.bl ogspot.com /
For adoption reform: http://for biddenfami ly.com
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, cyberbullying, dishonesty, emotional abuse, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
FOR LEGAL PURPOSES
Let this notice be heeded, March 5, 2011
I, Ruth Sippel Pace, have never been arrested in my life. I have never been placed on probation. I do not have a criminal record.
Joan Mary Wheeler has come on this site and has reported this. She also has provided a link to her blog that states this.
If there are any law enforcement agencies reading this, please, by all means – do a background check on me and see that I, Ruth Sippel Pace do NOT have a criminal record.
Joan Mary Wheeler is a liar and THAT’S A FACT!
- electronically signed, Ruth Sippel Pace, March 5, 2011, 9:21 am, EST
addendum: March 5, 2011, 2:00pm EST
Further, when Joan Mary Wheeler states in her book and on the internet that she has had multiple orders of protection against me or any other member of her birth family, this is a FALSEHOOD!
Joan Mary Wheeler obtained ONE order of protection against me in 1993. There were NO other orders of protection against me. Further, this order of protection was for SIX MONTHS and not for the ONE YEAR that Ms. Wheeler says. The date it went into effect was August 9, 1993 and it ended on February 9, 1994. She signed the complaint on July 19, 1993. I have scanned and posted here on this blog, the actual court documents that attest to this.
Joan Mary Wheeler – you are ordered to stop lying about the number of restraining orders you have obtained – it is NOT “multiple” numbers, it was only ONE!
I hereby give notice that whenever Joan Mary Wheeler posts on any forum on the internet and refers to this ONE order of protection she ever received as other than the correct dates and duration, I shall reply with the TRUTH.
RUTH SIPPEL PACE
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, contradictions, embellishing the truth, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, fish stories, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
by Ruth Pace
On March 4, 2011, Joan Wheeler continued her character assassination and smear campaign against her birth sisters. Why? Because Gert and I dared to post a comment on the Huffington Post forum. Which is our RIGHT as Americans.
Answering an article entitled “Adoptees are Americans,” Joan Wheeler had made references AGAIN to her birth family. She has no right to be posting about ME or MY family. In her comment, Joan said that she was adopted when she was 4 months old. In my answering comment, I said that she was adopted when she was 3 months old. Joan answered and pointed out that she was 3 months old when our mom died and was adopted out a month later. I saw that she was correct, and posted again, admitting to my mistake. I do this, see, because unlike Joan, I ADMIT TO WHEN I AM WRONG!
However, Joan decided to take things to a further level. Instead of correcting me and leaving it at that, Joan just HAD to start her lying again. After she corrected me, she goes on to say that Gert and I are stalking her. And she says that she has not had a relationship with us for more than 3 decades.
Call it stalking if you want, but yes, we monitor what Joan posts on the internet, BECAUSE WE AS AMERICANS HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY. If Joan does not like that, the solution is obvious: JOAN NEEDS TO STOP POSTING ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY!
Why do we take this stand? Because whenever Joan posts about us, it usually lies, inuendos, misreprsentations, false accusations, and exaggerations.
Case in point: right there in her return comment to me, she says “I have had no relationship with them for over 3 decades!”
THIS IS A FALSEHOOD! This is the year 2011. 3 decades is 30 years, which takes us back to 1981. Well, for crying out loud, I was one of her bridesmaids in the year 1983! She admits to this in her lying book Forbidden Family. And in her book, she relates outings to the beach with me in the years 1988 – 1990!
So when I commented, I pointed this discrepency out to her. What was her response? She goes on the attack – because in her faulty brain, she thinks that I, and my sister do not have the right to correct her. She can correct me, but will not accept a correction in turn. So she posts several posts on the Huffington site and slanders and libels us again.
Sorry Joan, but I am an American. I have the right to comment on the internet when someone lies about me or my family. If you don’t like that, then stop lying. Get used to the fact that whenever you post a lie, it WILL be answered and refuted!
Joan’s problem is that she has diarrhea of the mouth – everytime she tells a story she embellishes it. Witness the fact that she says she has had no relationship with us for over 3 decades! She touts herself as being an author – but she hasn’t learned the basics of truthtelling! She demands the truth in adoption and birth certificates, but does not deal in the truth herself!
When Joan posts on the internet about adoption, we are silent, because we don’t care about her adoption reform work. It doesn’t bother us one whit about her passion on adoption. But when she starts posting about us, or our family, you better believe we sit up and take notice – because as AMERICANS, we have that right. And we claim that right.
Joan, accept it – we are watching. If you post about us, it better be the truth – because we will always come right back at ya!
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bigotry, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
first part from Gert McQueen, second part from Ruth Sippel Pace
I, Kathy Inglis, concur with what my two sisters say here.
from Gert
To Joan Wheeler, warning, take this very seriously…YOU ARE TO STAY AWAY FROM OUR AGED FATHER AND STEPMOTHER…by order of EVERY member of our family.
You are NOT to go to our father’s home, you are not welcomed there. Our father and his wife do not want you to call on the phone or knock on their door. You are not to go to any hospital where either of them may be for any reason…you are not allowed in their presence.
If you go again, like you did on Tuesday Jan 4, 2011 sometime between the hours of 11am and 6pm, the police shall be called to have you removed and charged with harassment and taking advantage of sick and weak elders.
Your adoptive mother’s end stage of her life is next to nothing of consequences to our father and his wife and the rest of our family. If you, Joan, are dreading the death of your adoptive mother and ‘want to make peace with dad’ that is YOUR PROBLEM, not theirs! They and everyone else gave you almost 37 years of chances to make peace. You had your chances and you blow them, not once, but many many times…And after you published this rotten disgusting piece of shit against every family member you have the gull to ask to ‘make peace with dad’!!
How many times do you need to insult Dad and get kicked out before you GET IT? You want to ‘make peace with dad’! Do you mean -peace like in what you did and said in your book…spring of 2008 pg 553 – 556 and Feb 2009 pgs 557 – 559. Is that the kind of ‘make peace with dad’ bullshit that you want now!! (Ruth’s note – see explanation just below)
You, Joan, are a lying piece of sick shit! And if you come near MY FATHER again the police shall be called. Get it! I hope so, for your sake!
Go and deal with your adoptive mother’s dying and what will be left of your pathetic life when she is gone, because you ‘are dreading her death…dreading it’!
Your life is what you made it, now go and live your life with the demons that you wrought and leave us alone!
Ruth’s note: to clarify to what Gert is alluding to – what Joan wrote in her filthy book -
A few years ago, after my father had open heart surgery, Joan VOLUNTEERED to take my elderly father and my elderly stepmother to their doctor appointments. A couple years later, Joan DEMANDED gas money from my father, then DEMANDED he chip in for car repairs. When he refused to be held to financial and emotional blackmail, Joan goes home and tells her mother, who trashed my father for HER past financial decisions. THEN Joan writes about this shit in her book. Yet towards the front of the book has the nerve to quote the fourth commandment “honor thy mother and thy father.” And you know what the beef Joan’s mother had? Because when she adopted Joan in 1956, she had to give up her job to take care of an infant. BUT when Joan was older – did she she go out and get another job? NO! So she sits and whines that MY father had the benefit of a working wife (but not until 1972 Dorothy, like your daughter – you don’t get your facts straight). So this bitch is putting MY father down, and Joan puts it in her book. Dorothy also is bitching that SHE raised his daughter and now HE owes her! Excuse me, bitch when you signed the adoption papers YOU became the legal parent and guardian of that child. If you didn’t want to accept the financial responsibility of that child you should not have adopted her. BUT guess what folks? Edward Wheeler worked at Dunlop tires, making a pretty good penny! AND the Wheelers owned their own house in the suburbs AND had TWO MORE RENTAL PROPERTIES! It is not MY father’s problem that the Wheelers did not do a better job planning for their financial future. And that includes Joan. She should have been working all this time and putting money into a retirement fund instead of blowing all her money on bullshit. – and I have lot more to say on that subject in future installments of this blog.
Joan pulled that shit on me back in 1990 – I fronted the down payment and lawyer’s fees for real estate, in a joint checking account – to be used for closing costs, expenses for real estate, but Joan withdrew money without my permission (stealing) for HER living expenses. That was not what I agreed to loan the money to her for. Bitch. The money was to buy an apartment building NOT for Joan to live off. and she even says in the book “the money disappeared.” Disappeared? MY money disappeared? She was withdrawing small amounts to buy hamburgers in the mall (and she had the nerve to “treat” me to one), paying her cable bill with premium channels like HBO while John and I had only basic cable – Joan living high on MY money! SCAM ARTIST! I do not work to support Joan or her kids. And her husband was withdrawing money to blow at a strip joint. Then caused their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby – thieves, scums, deadbeats, liars – but can go to rock concerts, but don’t pay the electric bill, when they got toddlers at home – blow Ruth’s money on shit and act all surprised when Ruth gets mad.
So I was out almost $900.00 and Joan wonders why I’m mad – and 20 years later, she tries to pull the same scam on my father! And my father knew what Joan did to me and put his foot down and wasn’t about to be fooled by Joan’s tears. So for revenge – she trashes my father in her book.
This is Joan’s way of honoring my father – holds him hostage to her and her mother’s lifetime of bad financial planning and spending habits, then further dishonors him by putting that shit in her book. And of course while she writes about this shit, she automatically HAS to include a dig against me. Because I didn’t drive my dad around – and she did. Well, I have a JOB, Joan doesn’t. I work the night shift and sleep in the day. And I had another post open heart surgery person to take care – my husband. He had his surgery 3 months before my father. And I had to put in overtime to make up for his lost income. did Joan ASK me why I wasn’t taking my dad to the doctor? NO – she doesn’t do any dam research for her book – but just includes her flawed INTERPRETATIONS of someone’s actions and passes them off as a truth in her lying book. – and she trashed my younger brother because he owned a motorcycle, not a car, so he couldn’t take my dad to the doctor. So SAINT Joan is taking my dad to the doctor and oh boo-hooo, she gets no gratitude, SAINT Joan is sooo good and pure and the rest of the family aren’t taking him to the doctor – oh puh-leaze! How does someone dare to demand money from an elderly person after VOLUNTEERING to drive them? You can make arrangements with them – by saying, “I have the time to take you to the doctor or shopping, but I’ll need help with the gas money.” No problem with that! But to DEMAND money? NO, that’s stepping over the line. btw, my Dad offered to pay for MY speeding ticke in 2003, when I was on the way to his house when he asked me to take him shopping once. I said “No, it was MY foot on the gas pedal, not yours.” It’s called personal responsibility Joan – and I see you still haven’t learned that – you didn’t learn a dam thing after you scammed me and then you try to scam an elderly person – you’re an elder abuser – you slapped your elderly mother once – but you aren’t going to do that to MY father.
GETTING BACK TO THE NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER TO STAY AWAY FROM OUR FATHER!
I, Ruth Sippel Pace, being of sound mind and body, and being the LEGAL daughter of Leonard J. Sippel Sr. concur with Gert McQueen’s demands above. Also, J.R., our step-sister-turned LEGAL sister through adoption, and the LEGAL and biological daughter of Gi. S., hold Power of Attorney and she made it clear to Gert via telephone January 6, 2011 that she does not want Joan Wheeler near her parents. Also at that time, G. S. told Gert via tselephone that she does not want Joan near her or her husband. I concur with her wishes.
Also, on or about November 15, 2010 my father called me on the phone to invite me to a family function. I asked him if Joan would there, and he said “No.” Then he added emphatically, “I am done with her. I don’t want to see her again.”
The reason: because of the last conversation she had with my father sometime in 2009, where Joan told my father to his face that she does not like people of Polish descent or Catholics. My father is of Polish descent. His mother’s parents emigrated from Poland. Our family is Roman Catholic, some members have converted to other religions, but those of us who have, still have great respect for the Roman Catholic Church.
Joan, in her own hand-written description of her trash book Forbidden Family says “….she (Joan) had to be silenced.” Alluding to people always telling her to shut up about adoption.
No, Joan doesn’t GET IT! She has not been told shut up about adoption, she has been told to shut up PERIOD! Joan suffers from diarrhea of the mouth. Once she gets started, she can’t stop. She also suffers from chronic gross exageration! If an actual event took 5 minutes, Joan reports it as 20 minutes. If she received ONE phone call, she reports it as 10.
Joan has never learned SELF-CONTROL. She cannot control her mouth. I have had philosophical and theological debates with my father, so has Gert, but we learned to do it in a respectful manner, and not insult my father’s mother or his birthright religion. Joan goes on the Adult Adoptees forum and fairly revels in the fact that she left an insulting comment on somebody else’s internet post. There are several instances in the book where she does the same thing. She insults people, then sits back and laughs at herself, and pats herself on the back for her bad manners. She doesn’t care that what she said in person or in the book or on the internet may HURT another human being! In fact, she ENJOYS hurting other human beings. She is a straight-up bitch.
I have been personally hurt by Joan in person, by her lies about me in the book and her lies about me on the internet. I have been hurt to read my family being trashed in print in her book and on the internet.
So she insults and hurts my father’s feelings in 2009, and now all of a sudden, in January 2011, she comes running to my father’s house. Why? Because she is dreading the fact that her adoptive mother may leave this world? What does that have to do with my father?
Did Joan go to my father’s house to apologize for what she said in 2009? I doubt it. She has had almost 2 years to do so. She even wrote about it in her book, just prior to it’s publication in November 2009. She “explained” what she meant that by the anti-Polish remark, she was saying about the unique Polish descendants living in Buffalo and their accent. BUT she still insults THEM by implying that the accent denotes stupidity.
For those who don’t know of this accent, watch the 1993 Harrison Ford movie The Fugitive, where he is renting a basement apartment from a Polish lady. She may be in Chicago, but it is the same as in Buffalo. The actress doesn’t appear stupid to me. And neither do many of the Polish people that I know personally in Buffalo.
But we see that Joan is a bigot! It’s one thing to have a light-hearted laugh about an immigrant’s accent, as in the movie The Christmas Story, where the Chinese waiters are trying to sing the song Deck the Halls. Because there is no “L” in the Chinese language, when they try to say the L sound, it comes out as R. The scene in the movie does not depict the Chinese people as stupid, but caring people when you see them rush to feed their patrons.
This is where Joan fails in her conversational style. She is a bigot. She is judgemental. She wants to voice HER opinion. And if you disagree with her – you are worthless to her.
THIS is why we have all tried to tell her to WATCH WHAT YOU SAY JOAN. Because with her diarrhea of the mouth, she HURTS other people’s feelings. And after having their feelings hurt, several times, a person is just going to say “the hell with you, get away from me.”
Then Joan is left holding the bag and WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT IT IS HER OWN ACTIONS AND WORDS THAT HAVE CAUSED PEOPLE TO RUN THE HELL AWAY FROM HER AND BAN HER FROM THEIR HOUSE! ~~ addendum – January 9, 2011 ~~ and I, Ruth Pace am sick and tired of always being blamed for everything in Joan’s life. When a person who has had enough of Joan’s insults, does say “the hell with you (Joan), get away from me,” Joan automatically blames ME. Even if I hadn’t seen the person or spoke to them in 15 years! I have had enough! Whatever negative activity that happens in Joan’s life is NOT always RUTH’S fault. got that Joan – I simply do NOT have such a huge influence on YOUR life. I live my OWN life – go live yours and LEAVE ME OUT OF YOURS!
It is perfectly clear that Joan is NOT WANTED by any person in the Sippel family. Joan has hammered coffin nails into her relationships with the Sippel Family for years. The last hammering was the publication of that lying filthy book.
Now stand up and be a Woman – accept the consequences of your own dam actions Joan. You brought this shit on yourself.
1. Ruth – January 9, 2011
my father is generous – when John and I had financial difficulties, we asked him for help – and got it. AND made the attempt to repay him, which he refused to take – “you need the money more than me.”
Joan didn’t ask – she DEMANDED money. …then her mother trashes my father – and Joan puts it in her book. NOW she wants to get in good with my Dad? Why? Because she probably needs money!
2. Gert – January 10, 2011
from Gert
What Joan falls to understand is that events in other peoples’ lives are NOT about her…it’s about THEM.
Joan’s adopted mother’s life and death process is NOT about Joan…and Joan’s feelings about that woman and Joan’s fears about that woman’s death is NOT anyone’s issues…those are JOAN’S and she ought to take ownership of them and stop laying it on other people’s feet.
My father’s life is NOT about Joan, it is about HIM.
As with anyone else, when he is ill or weak or in the any reminding stage of HIS life…it is STILL ABOUT HIM and it is never about Joan. Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else particularly my father.
When a person reaches advnced age or is on their death bed, the LAST THING they need is to have some mentally disturbed person, JOAN, begging, whinning, lying, crying, being hysterical, and asking to make peace.
3. Ruth – January 10, 2011
I like what Gert says here: “Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else…”
If Joan had kept a close and caring relationship with ANY of her birth family (or adoptive family or friends), than Joan would HAVE a support system – someone she could call at any time of the day or night and cry on their shoulder when a crises comes up. I know that I do. I have two very close loving people that I have known since 1978 – my best woman-friend and my other best friend – my husband. I have close friendships with people on my job – that thru the years have proven to have my back. I have relatives, some that I haven’t seen for years, but through the new phenomena of social networks like facebook, we have re-connected. One, just left a one word description of me (a little game being played on facebook). She described me as “beloved.” Even tho I haven’t seen her for about 30 years!
Why does Joan not have this kind of support system? Because she pushes everyone in her life AWAY from her with her bullshit and her insulting ways. As I said above – after a while, people get fed up with her, say “the hell with you” and they run away from her. Joan flatters herself too much in thinking that The Three Sippel Sisters, whether individually or collectively are “bad-mouthing” her left and right to EVERY single person that Joan knows. Because we just don’t have the time for that – I have a job, Gert and Kathy may be retired, but they are busy with their varied interests.
The problem with Joan (well ONE problem) is that she REFUSES to be an ADULT who takes responsibility for her own life! Everything bad in her life is NEVER because JOAN did something, but rather it is because Joan keeps BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR IT. And that someone else, in Joan’s deluded mind is usually Ruth. As if I know all the people in her life. And even if I do, I am NOT on the phone 24/7 gossiping about Joan!
Joan, it has ALWAYS been YOU and YOU ALONE who have managed to turn one person after another against you – you give me too much credit that it has been MY fault that your friends have turned against you, your husband and other boyfriends have turned against you, relatives have turned against you. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO MY LIFE! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! I HATE EVEN THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME! The only reason this blog is up and I am doing this now – is because you published that trash book that DISHONORED MY father, as well as me, and my WHOLE FAMILY! YOU wrote the lies in the book – YOU insulted my father’s mother – my grandmother – YOU insulted the Catholic Church, to which generations of MY ancestors and my father’s ancestors have belonged! RUTH didn’t write the book. JOAN did. RUTH didn’t insult people of Polish heritage – JOAN did. RUTH did not trash the Catholic Church – JOAN did.
YOU JOAN, AND YOU ALONE OWN YOUR LIFE. NOW TAKE IT AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE SIPPEL FAMILY! Goodbye!
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Joe Soll, Lies, misrepresenting one's credentials, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
The past couple of months have been quite busy. Joan Wheeler has been upset because we found and refutted some major lies in her book Forbidden Family, published by Trafford Publishing. We posted an email from adoption expert Joe Soll wherein he said what Joan reported about him in the book was “patently false.” We posted an open letter to adoption expert Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, who wrote the forward to the book, because he wrote an unprofessional review of the book, based on his belief of some Joan’s lies. He never bothered to check out the facts of some of the things Joan alleges in the book, took Joan’s word as gospel truth, and by doing so, is a partner in the sullying of Gert McQueen’s character. Joan didn’t like this, took the stance that we were “pestering adoption experts,” and began attacking us on various places on the internet. And we answered every one of her attacks with our truths!
But now the time has come to get back to the major thrust of this blog – Refuting the Book Forbidden Family.
Gert has already written several posts, and they are backlogged right now. Our method is, Gert writes her review, going through the book page by page, sometimes paragraph by paragraph, then I read it, and the chapters and pages in the book that Gert is writing about, I add my own comments, or whole separate post, and then it all gets posted on the blog. Our next section will be Chapter 22, which begins, coincedentally, on page 222. I have other committments in my life, but this section will be posted the first week in January 2011.
In the meantime, to refresh anyone’s memories, or to get new readers up to speed on some of the more blatant lies we have found in the book, here is a listing of posts wherein we have found lies, and the TRUTH behind those lies. You can find these and more by looking at the list of categories over on the right hand side and seeing posts listed under those categories. by the way, many of these posts are accompanied with graphics – I have scanned actual court documents, photographs, even letters written by Joan herself, which prove without a shadow of a doubt that she LIED in the book.
A Listing of Lies told by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family and elsewhere
Lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler
the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler is full of lies
Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler pages 316, 324, and 330 Clear evidence of lies
A most vile and hateful lie in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family
A Challenge to Joan Wheeler – Would You Please Explain the Various Court Documents and YOUR own Letters That Prove YOU are a LIAR?
Open letter to Professor Rene Hoksbergen and rebuttal of his “professional” review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler
Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family – Personal psychodrama, lies and other things that don’t belong in a book.
Joan Wheeler – Forbidden Family Chapter 14 – Refutted!
Joan Wheeler LIES about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen in her book Forbidden Family
HIGH ALERT EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies FROM A PERSON IN AN ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION(Mr. Joe Soll)
Joan tells a vicious lie about her own godparents on page 319 of Forbidden Family
Why did Joan Wheeler write her book Forbidden Family? pure and simple: it is for revenge!
Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family deliberately falsifiies the facts
Joan Wheeler issues press release for her “new” book – no, it’s still the stupid book of idiotic lies, and even her press release is bull. (and after we complained to the webhost, her press release got yanked, due to the falsehoods in her book)
Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler should be revised
What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.
Kathy Inglis’ answers to Joan Wheeler’s caricature of her in the book Forbidden Family
Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind?
Joan Wheeler, in her book Forbidden Family, can’t tell the difference between a dog and a cat. WTF?
1. LisaMarie – January 5, 2011
I have been reading your blog. It makes sense to me. I came to your sight in reading about adoption reform (I oppose adoption reform- I am for mutual consent). I relize that is not your interest. However, that is how I have read about your sister, half orphan. She needs help. She says she is a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to work with anyone I know. Perhaps that is why she is unemployed. I find the whole group of reformers to be full of hate, self centered and many should get psychological help. Any normal person beside reformer could read you blog and understand what went on. A different time, a difficult situation that your whole family has gone through. You and your sisters and dad are dealing with life your sister is stuck in a pity party and will never move on. Her life will be miserable until she gets the help to deal with the issues she has. As much as I would like to say move on forget about her till she gets help I realize that those of us who are not pro the adoption reform movement but blieve in mutual consent who would happen upon your sight would not get to hear the other side of the poor Joan story she portrays in forums and comment sections of articles. Your story needs to be heard. So I say continue your blogging. I’m one more person following. Not knowing your family, being of your generation your story make more sense. A dad with several children to take care of without help at a time where there wasn’t gov’t help he thought he was giving Joan a better chance at life. Your life was no less difficult. We all deal with tragedy, hardships and heartaches. I understand some adoptees including Joan may have feelings about adoption but the fact is your dad and family (as most family do) did the best they could with the situation. It’s to bad Joan lives in a dark place that she can’t enjoy her life and move on. What will happen to her when the reform movement ends her life will really be over. She needs to portray herself as she does, she needs to twist the story to fit her needs, without she has nothing, it is what she lives for. Sad for her, unfortunate for your family. Good luck to you
2. Ruth – January 5, 2011
thank you Lisa Marie
I would love to just throw my hands up in the air and see “fuhgedabout it!”
But what people don’t realize is that in her book, and on the internet, Joan has SMEARED MY CHARACTER! By saying that I, Ruth Pace has an arrest and criminal record is DAMAGING to me. If I were to apply for a new job or career THIS COULD HURT ME!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED IN MY LIFE- I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON PROBATION!
Who does Joan think she is that she LIES about me?
I would sue her, but what would I get? She ain’t got nothing. Would I try to take her house? please – I don’t want it. The county taxes alone are over $2100.00. Mine are only $129.00. – cos we get the veteran’s exemption. And I love my own house. a bit raggedy, but it’s MINE. I already paid off the mortgage once, but put on a new roof and porch.
And oh, the pity party for poor Joan – she has arthritis in her neck – (as she reports in her book). oh my! Well I have scoliosis – curvature of the spine AND arthritis in the spine. Back pain and I are old friends. Yet I work in a job that requires heavy lifting. AND I have a touch of IBS,
AND I have chronic sinus troubles. AND I got hot flashes AND thyroid problems with major fatique problems AND just started 12 hour shifts. But I get my ass to work! It ain’t fun to empty a bedpan with poo, BUT I DO IT TO PUT FOOD ON MY TABLE AND ROOF OVER MY HEAD. With today’s economy, sure, I got my financial struggles too. But then I WORK OVERTIME! I have at times worked EIGHT NIGHTS IN A ROW! Because I AM AN ADULT WHO HAS HAD A JOB WITH THE SAME PLACE FOR 38 YEARS.
So why doesn’t Joan get off her lazy butt and get a job? Because then she would be a self-sufficient ADULT. And then she wouldn’t be wallowing in poverty and then she would have one less thing to whine about and garner sympathy.
I will continue to blog my truth and the reform puppets and Joan can simply lump it. Because I don’t feel sorry for them at all.
. Gert – January 5, 2011
thank you Lisa Marie…you said:
“She needs help. She says she is a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to work with anyone I know. Perhaps that is why she is unemployed.”
We, the birth family, have known that Joan needed help after about the first year we knew her…give or take around 1975! Joan has never worked as a social worker, period and never will. She can’t work because she has too many psychological problems and can’t keep herself together to hold down a job. She herself describes her afflications in great detail in the book, she is only a social worker on paper. She ought become her first client.
And while I think about it, does and will NYState disability know that Joan is collecting $$$ from the sale of that book of lies? If she is collecting any sales monies she had better reported it to the State, if she doesn’t that’s called fraud.
Lisa Marie also said:
“I find the whole group of reformers to be full of hate, self centered and many should get psychological help. Any normal person beside reformer could read you blog and understand what went on.”
I’m guessing that there are some real reformers out there, but, those types that you are talking about, on that forum, which Joan is one, are not reformers, but bullys…they go out on the internet
and browbeat potential adoptive parents and adoptive parents from adopting because they are against adoption because they think adoption is the cause of their individual and collective sicknesses. Instead they ought to grow up and accept the life that was given them and change themselves and be happy for a life…but no…
These people are just plain sick…but that does not given them nor Joan, in this case, the right to lie about my life and those in my family…hence…that is why we have this refuting blog…and yes…we are not done…we shall be back with more…
We have lives, so when our individual lives allow us to get back to business, we shall continue…don’t you worry!
Thank you again, Lisa
“Your story needs to be heard. So I say continue your blogging. I’m one more person following.”
We shall!
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, infertilty, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
Joan keeps repeating herself over and over and over again that she is NOT a liar. But in my last post about how she has documented FOUR different years that ONE false child abuse call was made in, I posted ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENTS and two of JOAN’S OWN LETTERS that PROVE WITH OUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT JOAN IS A LIAR!!!
Joan keeps saying that her birth sisters are “bothering” her. But she never says specifically HOW! I have addressed this before on this blog. She either ignores this, or comes up with a new lie! And when that lie is exposed, she won’t come back and explain it. I have caught her in several lies and misrepresentations in her book and her blog. And when I have provided the PROOF of the lie or the misrepresentation, she will NOT explain the lie, but just blindly blunder on and keep saying that she is NOT a liar!
How do you explain her insistence that her book is truthful when she says that she signed a complaint against me in February 1993, but I provide the actual court document that has her signature next to a date in July 1993?
How do you explain the fact that she says that she NEVER wrote harassing letters to hurt me, yet I provide an actual letter that she wrote to my husband and mother in law, in which she urges him to leave me.
How do you explain the fact that in her book she refers to my pet Brandy as a cat, yet I provide actual City of Buffalo animal license that proves that Brandy was a DOG! This proves that 1. Joan is a liar. 2. Joan doesn’t know what she is talking about. 3. Her book is poorly researched. 4. Her book is NOT truthful.
How do you explain the fact that on the internet she keeps saying that she obtained a one year order of protection against me, when I provide the actual COURT DOCUMENT that says it was for six months? And how do you explain the fact that she wrote letters to Albany New York on December 31, 1994 and to the financial director of my employer and told them that I was placed on probation? But it was NOT probation – it was an order of protection! These are two very different things. I was NOT placed on probation – I was given a restraining order – to restrain from contacting Joan. But Joan contacts me – The restraining order was in summer of 1993, yet in spring of 1994, she’s contacting my husband! And in 1999, she’s writing letters to me! She admits so in her book! And admits that she used a friend’s return address to do so! Oh, but Joan is not harassing me, no, no. Just writing letters to tell me my husband fathered a daughter in a vacant house.
I have reported on this letter several times here on this blog – but Joan refuses to address this issue! Just like in her book- she mentions only 2 events in 1995. Her starting college, and her divorce. Oh, but she doesn’t mention that in the spring of 1995, I pulled her into court for harassment – and I provide that letter to my husband as proof – because she’s pleading with him to leave me, asking him to have me drop the charges – and asking my mother in law to turn against me. – oh no! Joan doesn’t interfere in MY life whatsoever and never did! But I provide PROOF POSITIVE that she did and does. But Joan will not answer to this. – WHY?
In the letter she wrote on January 6, 1995 to the director of financial services of my employer, she accuses me of tampering with her medical bill. She writes a 3 page letter, when only one paragraph would suffice. But in this letter, she gives this man, a stranger to me, personal details of MY life, violating my privacy. But at the bottom of the last page of this letter, she is demanding HER privacy! Why the double standard Joan? YOU get to have privacy, but I don’t? ANSWER THIS QUESTION JOAN, AND ANSWER IT RIGHT NOW!!!
Oh, but Joan doesn’t hurt her sisters, never has. As for her assertions that her book is about her and her alone, and her adoption, then what the hell is MY miscarriage mentioned in it? Along with the falsehood that I went to a fertility clinic. And this falsehood was actually in a sentence that contradicted this!
On page 302, she says this about me: “At one point in her life, she claimed to want children and even went through infertility tests with her pervious boyfriend.” Well if I had only CLAIMED to want children, I wouldn’t have gone through infertility tests, now would I? And right here, Joan makes a mockery of my miscarriage of June 5, 1985, where SHE was in the waiting room with my friend Francine, and even drove me home several days later. The next sentence in her rotten book is really very sweet: “Just as well that she didn’t get pregnant because she said she didn’t know how anyone could do it.”
How dare you Joan? You take a figure of speech and throw it in my face, and throw away MY SON by saying it was a good thing I didn’t get pregnant? I DID GET PREGNANT AND LOST MY CHILD! What the hell is the matter with you? Oh, but you didn’t write that book about your sisters, did you? That book was about YOUR life, YOUR adoption, YOUR adoption reunion and YOUR adoption reform work! THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT ABOUT ME NOT GETTING PREGNANT AND YOUR MOCKERY OF THE LOSS OF MY SON ABOUT? My son, who I named in my heart Saied Ali, is my heart. HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME LOSING HIM? AND WHAT DOES MY LOSING HIM HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR BOOK?
ANSWER THIS QUESTION JOAN! Oh, but Joan NEVER writes things to hurt her sisters, now does she? Oh no! She doesn’t think that even after 25 years, that I would be mourning my son? Here, how about if HER son gets smacked by a car next week? Would Joan care? I doubt it.
I could go on, and I will – that’s the whole purpose of this blog – to show the world that Joan Mary Wheeler is a liar, a filthy liar at that! She tells the world that she NEVER wrote anything to hurt her sisters, when I just wrote and said she did. I have provided explicit documentation to prove that she is a liar. But Joan will NOT answer these allegations. She keeps saying that we call her a liar. Yes, we do. Well, Joan, PROVE TO US THAT YOU ARE NOT A LIAR! COME ON, JOAN, SPEAK!
1. Gert – November 24, 2010
I agree with everything that Ruth has said here, in addition, if you noticed in the documents that Ruth posted, as our evidence that Joan lies, that Joan will take any and every opportunity to tell anyone about our lives. She does not care about anyone’s privacy.
Ruth said: “In the letter she wrote on January 6, 1995 to the director of financial services of my employer, she accuses me of tampering with her medical bill. She writes a 3 page letter, when only one paragraph would suffice. But in this letter, she gives this man, a stranger to me, personal details of MY life, violating my privacy.”
In that same letter, Joan tells these strangers things about our(us sisters’)personal lives and our family business…what for? Because Joan has no brains!
Ruth continues: “But at the bottom of the last page of this letter, she is demanding HER privacy! Why the double standard Joan? YOU get to have privacy, but I don’t?”
I agree, what gives here Joan? You want privacy but no one else should have privacy!
come out come out where ever you are Joan and answer the charges against you.
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Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, theft
The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
- Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
- Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
- For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
- Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
- Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
- Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
- For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
- For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
- For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
- For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
- An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
- For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
- The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
- Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
- Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
- The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
- Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
- The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
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