Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bigotry, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, Halloween, Halloween decor, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, Joan "Chimp" Wheeler, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, religious freedom, religious intolerance, SLANDER, stupidity
roflmao! – in case you need a refresher course in internet slang/shortcut – this means Roll On Floor Laughing MY Ass Off!
And this is just what I’m doing when reading Chimp’s new hatred post. And what bullshit – Chimp professes that he (and we know damn well it’s not a he, but Joan, hiding behind a made up person) – he and Joan don’t hate anyone. Really? Then why the continued use of Gertie and Ruthie – as personal bully digs and ridicule at us? Talk about being “fixated” – Joan is FIXATED on using the name Ruthie, as far back as December 2009. So drop the charade you fool. Or not – if you like making yourself into a laughing stock – then by all means- do so!
But I caught you Joan the Chimp – you fucked up! Because Pilgrim/Champ/Brian has been saying all along that Kathy has said nothing, but then all of sudden Chimps says “If 3 healthy healthy, mentally stable individuals insist on ganging up on one disaled person” – um, how did Kathy get into this all of a sudden? – Because Joan can’t stop lumping us all together. Idiot. Then Chimp says that Kathy seems to have lost interest. – What are you saying Chimp? Either Kathy is insisting on being on the team, or she has lost interest. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! (but see – I’ve said it before over and over – Joan contradicts herself left and right, even in one paragraph, as we see right here.) And she makes stupid grammar mistakes – she repeated the word healthy – twice. She does that too. So we can tell by the writing style that Chimp is in fact Joan. - Um and another giveaway that Joan and Chimp are the same – Joan’s posts are always full of misspellings – she can’t even spell the word disabled.
oh, yes, we are “attacking” a disabled person. Never mind this “disabled” person just was on a website two weeks ago ATTACKING pro-adoption people and infertile women. Oh give me a break – disabled my ass! Her herniated disc in her neck and other ailments did not stop HER from attacking and bullying other people online – so shove it JoanChimp.
Chimp also says: “No, I didn’t bother reading it. I’m not interested in adding any more lunacy to my existance..” — What? do you mean you already HAVE lunacy in your existence? – You got that right you fool. — and by the way FOOL – there is no A in existence! Learn to spell.
Chimp goes on to say: “The only reason for this blog is to try to get you to mind your own business.” — Excuse me you fool: JOAN’S GARBAGE BOOK AND WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT US ON THE INTERNET IS OUR BUSINESS! WHEN SHE TALKS ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY AND HER BIRTH SISTERS -SHE IS TALKING ABOUT US AND THEREFORE IT IS OUR BUSINESS. – You clearly need to learn English pal.
Another giveaway this is really Joan talking is another attack on religion. Joan is obsessed with other people’s religions and people’s religious values. She is always ranting against the Catholic Church. In her book, on the internet, she said it to our father’s face, causing him to finally shove her out his life forever!
In September 2008, on her blog, Joan attacked Gert and mine’s pagan religion and brought up our “pagan values.” She attacked Kathy’s religion on her blog in October 2009. AND on pages 300-302, Joan is attacking us and putting us down for our choices in religion and spirituality.
Now we have another attack on our values. Joan, pay attention to your own filthy values – oh wait – you have none. Because for anyone to hurt her own sister like YOU did – like stealing hundreds of dollars from her, calling her place of employement for months trying to get her fired, AFTER you were told what you accused her of didn’t happen – WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT VALUES? But we see how judgmental and two-faced JoanChimp is – She can do anything she wants – but let someone else do the same thing she does – and all of sudden she gets spiritually endowed and preach-happy about values. Bitch.
Oh I absolutely love the crap Chimp says about me ripping wings off of flies and scaring children. WHAT AN ASSHOLE! – This is because Chimp Joan falls into the same HATE propaganda against pagans and shows us what a bigot she is. Just as she published erroneous and hateful propaganda in her book, this nutball comes on to say crap about pagans. What an asshole.
Ripping wings off of flies. What kind of MATURE person says this shit? My god, not even in The Wizard of Oz is the Wicked Witch of the West so hatefully portrayed. That movie perpetuates the wrongful charicature of a witch – green skinned, with a wart on her nose, flying around on a broomstick. But Elphaba NEVER ripped wings off flies. What crap are you listening to Joan? You are so laughable. roflmao! –
Scaring children? Oh – this goes back to her continual digs at me because she says I hate her kids, hate all kids, ridicules me for liking horror movies. Again – we see Chimp and Joan are the same person.
Scaring children? roflmao! In years past, John and I used to decorate our porch for holidays. We stopped when the porch floor got too rotted – we didn’t want anyone getting hurt. Even though we had the new porch put on 4 years ago – we haven’t decorated since – just haven’t had the time. Besides we want to put up lattice-work around the porch to semi-enclose it. And the lattice work will give us a better backdrop to hang things on.
Yes, we decorated for the Winter Solstice, which is the Pagan winter holiday. Got a problem with that Chimp? Too bad. Take it up with the Founding Fathers of this country because they wrote in Freedom of Religion in our constitution. Got something to say about the Constitution of the United States bitch?
But our favorite holiday is Halloween – well the popular American take on the Pagan Samhain. But we enjoy the fun that goes with the whole Halloween thing and Trick or Treat. Our neighbors would decorate their porches with smiling jack-o-lanterns, happy harvest scarecrows, hay bales, corn stalks. John and I – our jack-o-lanterns were scowling faces. We had skeletons and bats hanging from spiderwebs. Giant spiders and giant swamp rats everywhere. Ghouls, ghosts, and goblins were our decor fare.
And our house was the most popular in the neighborhood. John wore a black robe and hood, skeleton gloves and a ghoul mask. When the kids came up and yelled “Trick or Treat,” I would stand behind the door and open it slowly, then John would jump out. Yes, we did scare one girl – she was about 14 – she was scared so bad – she screamed, ran off our porch, across the street, and up the stairs onto the porch of a house across the street from us. Screaming as she went. Then she turned around, and came back, laughing her ass off. She said “You scared me so bad. But I love it!”
So for your enjoyment – here are some pictures of our house decorated for Halloween. You don’t like horror novels, movies or decor Joan – that’s fine. But your continued putting me down for it shows the world for what you are – a schoolyard bully ridiculing another person for their likes and their values. YOU have shown the world what YOU really are.
We first started decorating our house in the mid 90′s starting with simple things, then graduating into more things. I put up a small table, covered with an old sheet that I had lightly dyed purple and then dipped briefly into black dye. This gave it a real dirty “graveyard” look. The table had swamp rats and scowling jack-o-lanterns. Under the table, concealed by the sheet, were small speakers leading to a boombox just inside our door that played Halloween music and sound effects. Eventually, we put out another table, on the other side of the porch, that held a “flaming” cauldron, more ghouls and swamp rats and a fog machine. I dont’ have any pictures that have the flames and fog going. But it looked great!
Here is our house Halloween 2000. For the previous Winter Solstice, I had put up a huge display of lights to celebrate the coming of the new milennium, with a “2000″ sign, that I left up for a whole year, incorporating it into my Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s day, 4th of July and Summer decor.
Here is Halloween 2001, with Brandy our DOG (not cat, you bimbo JoanChimp):
Here are two views of 2001′s decor in the daytime:
This is a skull that John hung in our rec room window. I don’t know what year this was taken, but you should see some of the ghoulish stuff we have in there! Oh yes – we love shopping at The Spirit of Halloween store. And we love going to the various Haunted House mazes in our area.
Here is John in 2001, in his full costume holding our CAT Samantha. (not dog, JoanChimp).
Now, lastly, here is John in 2001, with the kids of our friends from around the block: ages 12, 4 and 5. Now if a 4 year old, and a 5 year old is clearly at ease with our ghoulish decorations, where does Joan get off saying that because of my pagan religion that I’m scaring kids. – the one kid has his face blacked out for privacy reasons.
.
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, cyberbullying, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity
So in her latest cyberbullying attack on her birth sisters, Joan uses one of her multiple personalities called Champ. She really shows her true self in this piece of garbage. Despite her recent posts on her Forbidden Family website promoting peace, respect and love, and not harming anyone, and despite knowing full well that I don’t like to be called Ruthie, she goes out of her way to shove that name at me. So does she think she has hurt me? No, I don’t like to be called Ruthie, but dayam, I ain’t gonna lose any sleep over it. All she accomplished was to show the entire world what a bitch she is.
Gert has already torn apart this Champ in her post “Joan Wheeler has a new friend, by the name of Champ! don’t tell her we know, wink, wink!” - and I already placed a comment on it. (a good one too!)
Now supposedly, Champ is not Joan, but a good friend of Joan’s – but on the post, refuses to give his name. He says his name is not important. Oh yes it is buddy – because when you put shit out about someone on the internet (or anywhere for that matter, you show the world what you really are – a snively little gossip mongering COWARD. But in reading the post, and reading between the line, Gert and I can see that Champ is no man, (double entrende intended) but Joan herself. Because of the rhetoric, use of language, phrases, – see, we have been dealing with Joan’s bullshit writings far longer than she has been on the internet – for over 30 years. And we have read her writings, her filthy book, and a lot of other crap she has put out – for over 30 years. We have dealt with her in person, and on the phone. We have been in intimate conversations with her, arguments, and even screaming matches with her. We know how she thinks and we can recognize her foul stench for parsecs.
This is how Joan fantasizes herself as Champ – stepping on Ruthie. But you know, it certainly goes against her latest posting of promoting respect and not harming anyone – but we all know she’s a hypocrite.
So Champ – in my comment to Gert’s post, I said I had something for you – here you go – here’s one for starters – 
and I got a whole box for you – in large size too! Just to fill your huge mouth.
Go get ‘em Champ boy! ruff, ruff.
MilkBones are great. I used to give them to my Siberian Husky/Alaskan Malamute – Brandy. Brandy was a such a sweetheart – 65 pounds of love. Now silly ass Joan in her book, relates a conversation she is having with a police detective about me and annoyance phone calls. At that time, I had my phone bill under the name of Brittany Sippel – to ward off people getting my phone number. In a letter Joan wrote to my niece Karen, Joan admits to knowing that my phone was listed under Brittany Sippel, but in her book, during this fictious conversation with the police detective, she has him saying to her, “Who’s Brandy Sippel?” and Joan says, “that’s Ruth’s cat. Why?” and the detective says, “well she’s got her phone number listed under Brandy Sippel.”
So what does this prove? That Joan can’t tell the difference between a cat and a dog, and by her own letter to Karen that says BRITTANY, not BRANDY – we see her book is not the truth. And the real DOG is Joan “Champ” Wheeler.
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, stupidity
In her book, Joan complains about my cousin Gail. Gail died of cancer in 2003 at the age of 49. She had been battling it for a few years. And while she was battling cancer, she was being harassed by the bully Joan Wheeler.
Now my sister Gert had moved from Buffalo in 1982 and did not know a lot of what was happening in Buffalo. In an email yesterday, I mentioned something about Gail and Gert emailed me back and said she didn’t know all about the Gail thing. So I elaborated. Then I thought – I was going to get into this on the blog in the future, but since I typed it all out now, I may as well just go ahead and blog it now. So here is what I wrote to Gert this morning, via email. I have only changed a couple of names. Read on and see what a “nice” person Joan Wheeler is.
The Gail thing started in 1993 when Joan’s daughter got sick with the hypothroidism -and Joan wanted information if anyone else in the family had similar medical problems. no problems there, just a mother wanting to give info to the doctors. Since she had burnt her bridges with Gert and Ruth, and was in the process of burning them with Kathy, she turned to the extended family. Nobody paid attention to her and just said they didn’t know anything. Dad was his usual helpful self – meaning – no help at all. Gail got a few phone calls from Joan and ignored her. Then Joan sent a packet of medical information about her daughter to Gail. Gail saw the return address and marked “Return to Sender.” Joan then called her at 10pm, when Gail and K. were in bed and left a screaming message on the machine – “don’t you know this is IMPORTANT MEDICAL INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE YOUR SON?” K. wanted to pick up the phone and bitch Joan out but Gail said to just ignore her.
Sometime in 1997 or 1998, Joan had a busted windshield and went to get it fixed. By chance – the repairman was R.M.III. (h they were both thrilled that they were cousins. And Joan went to his house for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to stay away from her because of the shit she had done to me. R. gave Joan the cold shoulder and hung up on her once. She called his job and tried to make trouble for him (sound familiar?) In the meantime, I got a letter from Joan accusing Gail, R, me and Francine of plotting against her. Fran came by for lunch and I read her the letter and Fran said, “but – but – I never met your cousin R.”
Joan started writing letters to Gail, which she kept refusing. Gail made a complaint to the Town of Eden police. They sent Joan a letter telling her NOT to contact Gail. She sent Gail another letter. (by this time it was 1999). Gail was about to return to sender and drop it in the mailbox when she noticed something funny about the return address. It had the wrong zipcode on it – and Joan’s street address wasn’t quite right. The zipcode was actually GAIL’S ZIPCODE! and Joan’s street name was not spelled right. This would make the post office not be able to find Joan’s house and bring it RIGHT BACK TO GAIL. Gail said “enough.” and took it right to the police. They called Joan up and asked did you not get our letter telling you not to contact Mrs. B.?” She said yes. They asked her, ”and did you just send her this letter?” She said yes. The police said ok, and hung up. he opened the letter and started reading it and was laughing, and Gail said what was it? And he started reading it – it was the same bullshit about Gail refusing to learn medical information to save her son, and plotting with Ruth to get her. While this was going on – the phone at the police station rang and it was Joan wanting to know if they, the Town of Eden police had called her. They said yes – and you will be hearing from the courts as well. It was the TOWN OF EDEN POLICE, NOT GAIL, who instituted the harassment charges on Joan – coincidentally the exact same month that I hauled her into court over the shit letter telling me John got the next-door neighbor pregnant. And because she used her friend Bo’s address (Carol in the book), without her permission – Bo. took her to court as well. So in one month, Joan had to answer harassment charges in Tonawanda, Buffalo, and Eden.
From 1997 to 1999, Gail got several phone calls and several letters from Joan – and she refused to read them, and DID NOT CALL ME – to keep me out of it. It wasn’t until AFTER she got her one-year order of protection against Joan (the same as me and Bo.) – did she call me and tell me what she did. She wanted to prove to the family that it was not RUTH, but Joan who was doing the shit. And she called Dad to tell him that too.
And it really pisses me off that Joan had the fucking nerve to show up at Gail’s wake. I was talking to R. III, when Joan and her boyfriend D.s (the one she met online) walked in. R. and I both gave her a dirty look and we both needed to go outside and get a smoke. While we were out there – we noticed everybody else was out there – either standing near us and smoking, or off to the side having fresh air. – My John went back inside to take a look – and came out – and said the whole place had emptied out! Even Dad came outside, talking with a couple of the Herr relatives.
So Joan walks in – and everybody walks out. Even J. left. AND J. asked me when J. died if Joan would be coming. When I told her no, she said “thank god.” Nobody wants that b around.
(Ruth’s additional comment, on my facebook page, on a link to this post, one of R.’s sisters wrote this:
D. M. – Have No Fear I Will Never Run Away From Joan Wheeler, I Will Speak For My Family, She Is Nothing To Us And Never Will Be, She Is A Blight On This EARTH…….NEVER GIVE UP FIGHTING ARE FAMLIYS HONOR,,,
Comments
1. Ruth – December 22, 2011-
-
-
-
Joan says in her book that I, Ruth, turned Gail against her. No, Joan, YOU turned Gail against you. Do you honestly think that someone, in bed, trying to get to sleep because they have to get up early to go to work, likes getting a message on their answering machine from a screaming lunatic? (oh, that’s right Joan – you never HAD to get up early because you never held down a decent job in your life).
-
Moving right along – and to clarify another point – there was nothing wrong with Gail’s son. He was in perfect health. Still is. So what was that shit all about? “important medical information that could save your son’s life!” What a f’ing moron! Ok, so Joan’s daughter had some medical issues that may or may not be shared with biological relatives. You just don’t go around SCREAMING such things on somebody’s answering machine! By the time Gail got around to telling me this, several years had passed and Gail and I had were laughing our asses off about it.
Yes, Joan really knows how to impress people. Too bad it’s NOT the impression that she wants people to know about her – there is NO picture that I could paint about Joan that would tell another person how she is – it would not compare to the reality of her behavior! Me telling Gail what a nutball Joan is simply is not the same as Gail having heard first hand Joan’s screaming mouth – yelling stupid ridiculous garbage! And Joan even chronicles in her book how she screamed at people! and physically and mentally abused her own adopted mother and her own son!
Same thing about this blog. I am telling the truth here – and if some morons out there want to continue to associate with Joan – well, I can’t stop them. They will have to find out first hand what a nut she is. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her – after only a few months. Her whole book chronicles one broken relationship after another broken relationship – not just her ex-husband or boyfriends, but – family members from both her adopted and birth families and friends. Even former foster parents of her birth sisters, step-aunt and uncle of her birth sisters. I can add to the list. A former teen pop star and his wife. Two former landlords, a lawyer, a former neighhbor (who lived in the apartment next to her), my ex-husband, my friend, my present husband.
Everybody who has dealings with Joan and eventually gets to know her, and/or suffers from her shitty behavior all do the same thing – run the hell away from her!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, Americans for Open Records, AMFOR, being downright nasty, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Lori Corangelo, misrepresenting one's credentials, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths
LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph.
http://www.trafford.com/uploadedFiles/Trafford/Common/Trafford%20Terms%20and%20Conditions_ebook%20pricechange_11182011.pdf
2. YOUR LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY
2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.
2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.
2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.
3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.
Now Lori go and read these two posts and read them word for word so you can UNDERSTAND what Joan Wheeler did -
Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions
My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler
Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.
You want open records Lori? That equates to the TRUTH, does it not Lori? We are open and TRUTHFUL here on our blogs. Can you handle the TRUTH Lori?
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity, theft, whining
Today, November 7, 2011, Gert McQueen posted this on her blog. I am posting it here, in it’s entirety, because it’s so important. - Read, and please learn from it.
by Gert McQueen
Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views!
The question was raised on Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change…
|
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
|
|
If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.
***
1adoptee AKA Joan Wheeler answers
| |
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2011, 12:41:17 PM »
|
|
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
|
What she say? Oh right…abandonment and loss! Are adoptees the only people that have experienced these things? Most of this comes from a certain point of view that is current in the psycho-babble of ‘healing the adoptee’ and this babble gives these angry militant adoptees a license to go out and browbeat everyone and everything in favor of adoption. These people ought to be ashamed and the public informed…which is what I’m doing.
Any child that has been placed with someone, other than an parent, for any reason, might suffer from abandonment and loss. I know that I DID and I’m not an adoptee! I have had issues with ‘distrust in close relationships’ too, not because I was adopted but because I felt the abandonment and loss that comes from having a parent die when I was a small child and having been placed in a foster home! These issues are NOT the sole property of adoptees!
It just might be that if a person has a mental illness it just means that…they have a mental illness and they ought to stop laying blame, for it, upon adoption. Joan Wheeler will never see the world in the way it truly is because she is a true believer in the ‘world according to Joan’ and we must not confuse her with anything but her own facts.
Joan says: Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers.
Well…I too had more than one mother and father…I had foster parents!! And I was also grateful to have had someone who cared for me!
Joan says: post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience
It seems to me that some types of adoptees are just not able to come to terms with their life like regular people do. Here is the bottom line, these people relish their pain, they love their pain and wouldn’t know what to do without their pain! Come on…PTSD!!! This is nonsense! Joan might suffer from it but that’s probably due to her own inabilities over her life to come to terms with the reality of life…she was adopted…she had a crazy home life with adoptive parents…she and only she destroyed every relationship in her birth family because of her negative behaviors. If Joan suffers from PTSD it is NOT because she was adopted, its because she has always HAD to argue with everyone over the fact that she was ADOPTED! Get over it already.
oh brother, here we again. The poor little misunderstood adoptee. As if they are the only ones on the planet that had bad stuff happen to them. Want some cheese with that whine my dear?
“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..
Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.
She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?
So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”
I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.
As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.
so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.
I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.
you know what this all boils down to? – The failure of people to accept SELF-RESPONSIBILTY for their own actions!
It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.
“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!
I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.
There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!
Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!
And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: adoption, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Steve Jobs, stupidity, whining
Get off your ass and make something of yourself. Nobody else is going to do it for you. Life ain’t easy – you either sink or swim. And if you think somebody is going to throw you a life preserver – you are dead wrong. And shaddup your dam whining. Life is full of pain and disappoinments, so you when shit happens, ya cry a little, mope a little – then you get it on with it! 55 years is just too damn long to be whining about something that happened when you were an infant. Acknowledge your pain, then get on with life!
And if you make a mistake – and everybody does – own up to it. And just because you think YOUR life is miserable – that doesn’t give you the right to make other people’s lives miserable. If you lie about someone, steal from them, act like an asshole around them, and they decide not to be around you – be a damn Woman and own up to the fact that it was because of YOUR actions and words that they can’t stand you.
If you talk shit about people, don’t get all surprised when they talk shit about you in turn.
There is no Prince Charming – the only person who can rescue you is —- YOU!
- RIP and Thank You to Steve Jobs.
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stealing from your own family, theft, whining
by Gert McQueen
There are many essays or blog posts that I have written that have not been seen yet on this blog. Seeing that we are discussing and showing our EVIDENCE I feel it is time for the following to be posted. It is part of a larger essays where I discuss many pieces of evidence about Joan’s lying. And we do have the physical documents to go with it. Here we go:
The next pieces of evidence are in connection to the article The secret is out that Joan wrote in 1990 published in England and the aftermath from it. This article caused great concern because in the article Joan uses her sisters’ real names, interestingly enough not mine. In any event, the publication of that article is what caused certain letters to be written, alerting those agencies, listed in the article, that privacy was not afforded to the persons mentioned in the article. These letters were not ‘harassments’ but legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy the author committed. It is only Joan who turns these letters into gross obscene letters in her fabrication of telling of them.
As I have stated in previous posts, I did not write any letters to Joan and it is a falsehood for Joan to write in her book on pg 308 ‘…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 92’. Which sisters? She does not say, so how can anyone be sure whom Joan is referring to? (Ruths’ note: as usual, Joan lumps all three of her sisters as one entity. Only thing is, we didn’t write harassing letters to her, either individually or collectively.) On pg 310 she writes ‘…the 40 page letter that my sisters put together…’ and ‘…my sisters included copies of long handwritten letters they wrote to the nine major adoption…’ Wrong! Joan does not name the sisters because there were no sisters, in the plural. Ruth and I never wrote to those nine major adoption agencies listed in the article. Kathy wrote legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy; all else is pure nonsense and fabrication by Joan. Furthermore, Kathy wrote an seven-page letter, not 40 pages; Joan loves hyperbole! (see graphics #4a-4g below).
Hyperbole…exaggeration: deliberate and obvious exaggeration used for effect.
Again, we shall revisit this issue, when I return to the book, after I complete this presentation of the evidence of Joan’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book. For now it is sufficient to state that we three sisters, who are refuting the lies of Joan, possess proof that she is a liar and user of hyperbole solely for the effect of putting us sisters in bad light.
As part of the fallout from the breach of privacy and Joan’s consistent disregard for returning Kathy’s personal property to her, Kathy in England , demanded her property returned to her. There were negotiations; monies sent by Kathy to Joan, for shipping, back and forth letters, but all of Kathy’s efforts were stalled by Joan because Joan had excuse after excuse for not sending them.
Evidence here: In two letters that Joan wrote to Kathy (ca.1992) we learn from Joan, in one, ‘…yes I did receive the money order…put it in a special account for when I have time to pack everything for you…can’t do it right now…don’t have a car…can’t do anything right now…Colby lost his job…trying to cope with unemployment…I am working two part-time jobs…pay is low…with this new upset…going and finding your scrapbooks will just have to wait…. the records are safe…I’ll let you know when I can get the stuff together…before Christmas…’ and in another ‘…have been sad that our relationship ended abruptly and that I have caused you pain…felt the need to reach out to you…need to apologize for overstepping my bounds in your life…I respect your right to privacy and am sorry for my past behaviors…I ask forgiveness…and hope that we can be friends again…since I’m rather busy now, I will try to pack up your things sometime before Christmas…working two part-time jobs and will be going back to college in the fall…’ (see graphics 1 and 2 below).
So we see from Joan’s own words; that she did receive money to send Kathy’s things back to her, that she put the money in a special account, for when she has time, but she can’t do it now, no car, husband lost a job, coping with unemployment, working two jobs, pay is low, new upset, getting your stuff will just have to wait, let you know when I can get the stuff to you later but sad that our relationship ended abruptly and I caused you pain, need to reach out to you, to apologize, respect your right to privacy, sorry for past behaviors, ask forgiveness, can be friends, but I’m rather busy now, will try to pack your stuff before Christmas, working two jobs and going back to college in the fall.
Would you, reader, buy that brunch of boloney? She was given the money to ship the items but found excuses for not doing so and yet she has the money and time to go back to college! How nice! Priorities!
Neither did Kathy, buy it that is, and when Kathy puts the pressure on to get her property back, Joan enlists the ‘big guy’; Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, the very same that wrote the forward of this book of lies and fabrications! It ought to be noted that the last time the good Dr. saw a ‘draft’ of the book was in 2006, three years before publication! Joan has done extensive rewrites since he saw it. I wonder if Dr Hoksbergen would approve of the published work? Perhaps I shall write him! I’ll think about that!
In the meanwhile, I’ll just inform folks with, yes that’s right, evidence here, just what Dr Hoksbergen said to my sister Kathy on Joan’s behalf. (see graphic #3 below). It ought to be remembered that Joan is a very good con artist. Joan can play the part of the misused, misunderstood adoptee, that the birth family seems to go out of their way to make life miserable for her. This letter by Dr Hoksbergen was written to Kathy in April 1993.
In part he says: ‘…you will be amazed that you suddenly get a letter from a complete stranger…(goes into his educational and professional backgrounds)…connected with the phenomenon of adoption …conference in 1987 I met your sister Joan Wheeler…tried to help her with some of her questions and problems…I very well know the complexity of her life situation and emotional stress this often gives to her…sometimes we have to give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions…conference in April I had a long discussion with Joan about many important family related questions. It has become clear to me that she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you. It is a pity that rather uncomplicated questions of yours, has given deep going emotional stress to at least Joan and as far as I understand also to you. Let me be more clear: you have asked her to send back your goods…last year Joan had a lot of material problems…not having a car, losing her jobs etc…Joan does not have the money…(goes into detail about weight and costs)…it is an idea to ask Joan what precisely you definitely want to have back as soon as possible…the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA…to my opinion problems like these should not divide people…related…who might need each other…when people live far away from each other…things easily might become complicated…I would ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly…I’m sure that her intensions are good…but she has problems to carry out the things you asked her…I know she would love it so much to have a good friendship with you…she has tried to see you in Liverpool…but she does not have the money for it…it is a useful idea if you write me back about your suggestions…if you prefer this in stead of writing directly to Joan…I know that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other…’
Okay! Here’s what I see in this communication; first and foremost intimidation by a professional with the use of a condescending tone to a woman who has already paid to have her personal property return and is being denied justice. Secondly, what I see is, the continuation of the mixture of intimidation as well as a good dose of browbeating, which btw is somewhat common with the professional attitudes of doctors.
‘phenomenon of adoption’ …since when is adoption a phenomenon?
‘complexity of her life situation and emotional stress’ …do only adoptee have complexity and emotional stress, is this some kind of new ‘condition’ that the rest of the population doesn’t have?
‘give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions’ …again, what makes the adoptee some kind of special needs person? Does this mean they are in the same category as the physically and mentally ‘challenged’ individuals are in (for those that are not PCs they are commonly called retarded)?
‘she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you’ …oh so Joan needs a professional to communicate that sentiment?
‘it is a pity’ …no shit!
‘Let me be more clear’ …by all means, what he is saying is that Kathy and by extension the rest of the birth family ‘needs’ to understand the special conditions that the adoptee has and we must alter our views. (Ruth’s note: the birth family is not considered to be human, with our own human needs, desires, etc. ONLY the adoptee matters. – BULLSHIT – I am just as IMPORTANT as the adoptee, they are NOT the center of the universe, just because in their view, they got shafted. LOTS of people the world over get shafted every day, adopted or not. Life sucks. DEAL WITH IT.)
‘Joan does not have the money’ … she was given the money, what happened to it and even if she wasn’t given the money why is it that she can’t give back someone else’s property? (Ruth’s note: What happened to this money, that Joan says she put in a “special account?” I know what happened to it – the same thing that happened to MY money that Joan and I had in a joint checking account for the purpose of buying real estate in 1990 – Joan STOLE it – used if for HER living expenses).
‘had a lot of material problems’ …is Joan the only person in the world with problems, does not Kathy have anything in her life that should be considered here?
‘the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA’ …an assumption that Kathy will be visiting the USA, was never in the negotiations to begin with, that’s a direct attempt at turning the whole thing back onto Kathy.
‘to my opinion’ …amazing that he didn’t send Kathy a bill for his opinion, what did it cost Joan for getting the doctor to write this letter? (Ruth’s note: I wonder as well. All evidence points to Joan and the doctor being waaay beyond professional ties.)
‘‘ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly’ …excuse me! what right does this guy have to say such a thing?
‘that her intensions are good’ …intensions my ass, any intelligent person knows that following through is what matters!
‘to have a good friendship with you’ …that falls squarely onto Joan’s shoulders and no one else!
‘it is a useful idea if you write me back.’ …no thank you!
‘that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other’ …we have heard that before!
So there you have it, the evidence of Joan Wheeler’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book, Forbidden Family.
Ruth’s additional note – examine carefully Dr. Hoksbergen letter to Kathy – Joan told him that it would cost about $500.00 to ship her belongings to her. Really? Kathy enlisted the help of our father to get her belongings back. My father never owned a car, never learned to drive. So what he did, was TAKE A TAXI-CAB to Joan’s house and get Kathy’s belongings and took them to his house, packed them up and shipped them over to Kathy in three different shipments. On July 7, 1993, the first shipment went out, costing my father $52.75. On August 7, 1993, the second shipment went out, costing $45.95. On November 23, 1993, the third and final shipment went out, costing $52.95. The total my father paid was $150.95 – far less than the $500.00 Joan led Dr. Hoskbergen to believe. And this bullshit happened only 3 years after Joan conned me out of several hundred dollars! Joan is a liar, a thief and a con-artist. She belongs in jail! The letters she wrote to Kathy in 1992 (graphics 1 and 2, are the same kind of nonsense she had feeding me in 19990 and 1991 about the money she stole from me. Apologies, crocodile tears, promises of repayment, excuse after excuse why she couldn’t pay me back, blah, blah, blah, until I finally had enough of her lies and bullshit and turned my back on her completely – I lost around $700.00 to her, and that doesn’t even cover the interest I was paying every month – yes, interest – it wasn’t even MY money Joan stole – it was money I borrowed from the bank – Joan put me into debt – I couldn’t afford to fix my car, I was forced to take a bus in the snow and cold, while Joan drove a car, which she fixed with MY (borrowed) money! As I noted above – this money was in a joint checking account to buy real estate – Joan stole it for her own day-to-day living expenses. After I washed my hands of her in 1991, she went to find another mark – she tried to play Kathy for a fool – she got 50 bucks out of Kathy. Now you know why her birth sisters turned their backs on her. Joan also did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings: missing are valuable Beatles collectibles: Beatles bubble gum sets, copies of The Beatles Fan Club magazine, a signed sketch by original Beatle member Stuart Sutcliffe. By not returning these items (and others) – Joan is guilty of THEFT. Joan has been asked for years to return these items, I personally saw them in the attic of her house on Swinburne St. in the late 1980′s, so she cannot LIE and say she doesn’t have them.
See the graphics 5a and 5b, below – my father’s receipts! Proof positive that Joan is a liar and a con-artist and LIED to her palsie-walsie, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. And Dr. Hoksbergen, was so stupid as to be conned by Joan, stuck his nose into our family business, and got a complaint made to his employer, Utrecht University about his unprofessionalism. He apparently didn’t learn his leasson, because in 2006, he was conned by Joan again into writing a forward to her lying book. Unless he wasn’t really conned after all – won’t be the first time a man was drawn into a woman’s web. Just look what Arnold Schwarzenegger did! The bigger they are – the harder they fall. Arnold just fell. Joan just fell. Who’s next? I sent Dr. Hoksbergen a private message via facebook for his explanation and a public apology for his contribution to this lying piece of trash book. He hasn’t responded yet. If he doesn’t, I’ll know my assessment of him is correct.
1. April 27, 1992 Joan apologizes to Kathy (breach of privacy, using Kathy's name in Secret is Out article, offers up excuses
2. mid 1992, Joan admits to receiving Kathy's money order, offers MORE excuses
3. Rene Hoksbergen's letter to Kathy, April 19, 1993; says cost to ship her belongings will be $500.00
4a Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 1
4b Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 2
4c Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 3
4d Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 4
4e Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 5
4f Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 6
4g Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 7
5a Shipping receipts, July 17, 1993 - $52.75 and August 7, 1993 - $45.95
5b Shipping receipt November 23, 1993 - $52.25
Like this:
One blogger likes this post.
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Nicole S. Urdang, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining
In recent posts, we indicated that a Buffalo, NY therapist, Nicole S. Urdang, who wrote a review on Amazon.com for Joan’s book removed her review. We were in error. The review is still there, but hidden. But I found it.
Ms. Urdang writes:
This is an incredible book. Two books actually. One a memoir and one a call to arms for all adoptees.
Joan chronicles her own deeply moving experience and uses that as a springboard to examine wider issues affecting all adoptees and their parents.
An essential addition to your library if you are involved with adoption either personally or professionally.
I left this comment:
Ruth Pace says:
This book has been pulled from publication due to an incredible amount of slander and libel, and the author’s use of a family photo on the back cover, that she has NO copyrights to. She never bothered to obtain written permission from those whose likeness she is trying to make money off.
The book is of no help to anyone who has any adoption anxiety concerns, except that it is a chronicle of a woman losing her mind. the author details her alcoholism, anti-social behavior, rages, descent into depression. maybe it could help propel someone into therapy, but the author herself, despite admitting to being in therapy for years, has never learned any life lessons, continuing to blame all her woes on everybody else.
Now, going back to Ms. Urdang’s review – she says that this book is a “call to arms for all adoptees.” Why? Because Joan herself is mentally ill? Because Joan herself cannot accept reality? The reality being that in 1956 when my mother died, things were NOT as they are today – there were no daycare centers – my father had to go to work – he had no siblings – his parents were elderly and could not provide care for an infant – my mother’s siblings all had large families themselves, MY FATHER HAD NO CHOICE – HE WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING JOAN TO ADOPTION! Would Joan have wanted to lie in a crib unattended all day while my father was at his job? Or should he have stayed home and earned no money, and therefore we would all ended up in the streets. There was no welfare system as we have today.
These are the facts of Joan’s early life – it is her REFUSAL to accept them is what is causing her the great pain and frustration of her adoption.
In her book she twists the facts around – my mother’s sister did indeed know who adopted Joan and where she was living. She did NOT tell us about her. But when we became adults, we did ask her, and she only told us the name: Joan Wheeler. When I was 20 years old, I placed phone calls to Wheelers listed in the phone book. When I got to Edward, a young woman answered, and when I heard her speak, she sounded exactly like my other sister. I was not drunk when I made this call, as Joan writes in her book.
Two years later, 1974, we called her and were reunited with her. But by 1981, Joan began interfering with our lives, calling child abuse on one sister, stealing bead trim off the wedding dress of another sister, (and the dress was originally my mother’s) lying, manipulating people to create strife and tension and fighting between family members. By 1990, she stole hundreds of dollars from me, in 1993, she filed false police reports on me, in 1994-95, she called my employer repeatedly to get me fired, she wrote letters to elected officials giving out personal details of my life, in 1999, she sent me a letter telling me my husband got the next-door neighbor pregnant, and much, much more.
These actions, that caused me and my family much pain and grief did cause us to turn our backs on her. Would you want to associate with someone who files false police reports on you and calls your job to get you fired?
Perhaps Joan does have a beef against the adoption system because she feels that her adoptive parents “lied” to her. THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN! Just because they lied to her, does NOT give her the right to do all those things to us, her biological kin. Obviously the people who adopted and raised her did not instill a proper value system in her. Again,THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN, as long as Joan’s value system does not cause me and mine any harm. The problem is, it has. Big time.
Because of Joan Wheeler’s actions she was banished from our family. She will not accept this. She will not accept the consequences of her own actions. She cannot get it through her head that because of the many times she has HURT us, we don’t want her around us. It is her refusal to get these things through her head that is causing her pain. And at this point, I don’t give a damn as to whatever “trauma” she has gone through in her life. I am dealing with the trauma that Joan has caused ME. And to see this lie-filled book, to open this book, to read on these pages, LIES about myself, is HURTFUL.
A call to arms? Why? So these “damaged” individuals can turn around and do damage to other people? NO WAY!
So now this lying book has been pulled off the market, good riddance I say.
And I add this small comment to Ms. Urdang, indeed to EVERYbody who knows Joan Wheeler, whether personally in Buffalo, or on the internet: TELL HER TO STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY AND STOP WRITING LIES ABOUT US.
Joan got slapped down and slapped down real hard with the pulling of her precious book from publication. And that’s the consequences of her actions. That’s life Joan, DEAL WITH IT. TAKE YOUR PSYCHOSES AWAY FROM US AND LEAVE US ALONE!
Like this:
One blogger likes this post.
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Nichole S. Urdang, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
June 15, 2011, 6:00 am
to the members of redandwhitekop,who found this blog: welcome. I tried to register at your forum, but can’t get my Outlook Express to work. (gulleysucker – you are too funny! love ya!)
Oh yes, I have a very low opinion of Nicole S. Urdang as this blog post will attest. She not only wrote a stupid review on amazon on my sister’s self-published book of hate and rage against me and others, she even reviewed graham crackers! – so her nickname for her looooooong poetry is chocolatepsych? – I will admit to dabbling a bit in some New Age problem solutions, but geez, ya gotta keep it in perspective! And anyone who reviews crackers and calls themselves chocolatepsych just doesn’t seem qualified to me. She says Fridays are reserved for emergencys. mmmm. by all means – have your chum ring her up about his broken toilet seat – but make sure it’s on Friday – a broken toilet seat can be serious.
My other sisters and I call her a “ditz” – check out her website and see what I mean! I just want to put her picture up on a dartboard! roflmao! I just can’t see getting therapy from a ditz like this. I don’t think I could keep a straight face!
But seriously – I don’t want to be labeled as an “enemy” of the ditz – just someone who strongly opposses her and her support of my wacko sister. – Because the ditz is as wacky as my sister. Talk about the blind leading the blind! — Ruth
This is a letter I sent to Nicole S. Urdang, a Buffalo, NY therapist, who posted a review of the trash book Forbbiden Family, on amazon dot com. In it she says this book was good. I question this woman’s ability to be a therapist, because obviously she can’t see the book is from a deranged mind. Also, I wonder just what her relationship to Joan is – if she is Joan’s therapist – then she stepped over the bounds of professionalism. If she is not, and merely a friend, she needs to be a better friend to Joan and urge her to get on some psych meds. Please DEEPLY READ this letter, examine it – see if there is any reference to Joan Wheeler being an asshole – because I NEVER wrote to any professional person or agency and called Joan an asshole. And neither have my sisters.
Ms. Urdang never had the courage to respond to this letter, which I mailed via the US Postal Service. Gert also contacted her via email. Ms. Urdang never responded to Gert either. Says a lot about her character – AND – she removed her review of the Trash Book from amazon dot com. mmmm, makes one wonder.
January 18, 2011
Nicole S. Urdang
Buffalo, New York 142
My name is Ruth Sippel Pace. I am the birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote a review of and placed on Amazon.com. I cannot believe any person of your occupation could think a book like that is anything but garbage.
I don’t know how you are acquainted with Joan Wheeler, and I really don’t care. Whether you are involved with her on a personal note or a professional note, you need to be aware of Joan’s actions towards her entire family. Her behavior is psychotic, anti-social and borders on criminal, indeed, she HAS crossed the line and HAS committed criminal acts. They are not enough for law enforcement to act on, but as we have seen time after time, these people keep on with their sick behaviors until we have an incident comparable to what happened in Tucson, Arizona on January 8, 2011. In 1998, Joan Wheeler was asking around for a “hitman” to “take her (me) out.” Because of this death threat, I took her to Family Court and was granted a one-year order of protection against her. Now Joan has hooked up with someone, and I am concerned. Joan also has posted on her website hate statements against me and my sisters. These statements are also indicative of coming from a psychotic mind and are a cause of concern.
Joan in the past has tried to ruin my life. Due to an innocent typing mistake, her hospital bill got mixed up with another patient’s bill in 1994. Joan immediately accused me of hacking into my employer’s computer to tamper with her bill. She sent a complaint to my employer. They investigated it, and told Joan that not only did they trace it to a typing mistake, but that it was impossible for me to do it, as the computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it. For the next six months, almost every day, she placed calls to the hospital telling everyone that I was a thief, a computer hacker, and should be fired. I work the 11pm – 7am shift, and was never told about this. I found out about it six months later. When I questioned a secretary in the nursing office, I was told that there had been a meeting by hospital administration that they were to hang up when Joan called and not to tell me. Yes, Buffalo General Hospital Administration protected me. Joan then tried to break my husband and me up by sending me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And they had a daughter. The only two babies born to women in that house from 1987 (when we moved there) – 2005 (when it was torn down), were boys. And Joan did much much more to me. I did try to take her to court for harassment in 1995, but the judge dismissed it, saying sisters should get along.” Would that that statement could be true. In Joan’s garbage book, she completely turns the story around, saying that it was she who took me to court and describes scenes that could only come from a sick person’s deluded fantasies.
Your review of her book Forbidden Family is in itself a work of garbage. You are a professional therapist and do not see within the pages of that book a chronicle of a person losing their mind? Did you not even catch contradictions from one page to another, indeed even in one sentence?
Even on her website she is full of contradictory statements and behaviors. For example on this page: http://forbiddenfamily.net/2009/12/10/angry-adoptee-rant1/, she gives out our full names. And later down the page, she says she doesn’t want us to view her website. Her website is supposed to be adoption reform, yet she has the hate statement against us. And does not see that if she puts our names there, we then have the right to see what is written about us.
My sisters and I have started a blog called Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family http://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ I invite you to read it. It is not pretty. But Joan’s book is not pretty. How can someone write such garbage? And you, a professional, think this book is good? What is your professional opinion of what she says on page 163 about the condition of my mother’s body at the moment of her death? Joan claims that my father related this disgusting scene to her. This is a post I had made on my blog in October 2010:
Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here, I had copied and pasted a post from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang. To save space, I removed it, but it is the post Ruth Pace’s additional comments of Personal Psychodrama of Joan Wheeler from October 14, 2010.
Also again and again in the book Joan alleges that I, Ruth Pace have a criminal record, having been arrested and placed on probation. This is slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. Joan is alluding to the 1993 event wherein she filed a complaint against me for annoyance phone calls made in June 1993, and she received a six-month order of protection against me, the dates being from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. In the book she says she signed the complaint in February 1993, and the Order of Protection was for one year, and I was also sentenced to probation. On my blog, I have provided the scanned copies of actual court documents that have Joan signing the complaint on July 19, 1993, and that I was NOT placed on probation.
As a professional, before you put your name to recommending a product or a book, you are responsible for doing research to see if that product or book is the “genuine article.” Since you did not ask me for verification of statements that Joan put forth about me in the book, you obviously do not care about the truth. And as you are a “professional” therapist, the truth should be your primary concern.
On January 11, 2011, my father died and Joan and her new companion were involved in the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I invite you to read the following 3 blog posts that have been posted for legal and personal reasons:
Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here I had copied and pasted 3 posts from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang. To save space, I removed it, but they are the posts: THIS IS A FORMAL NOTICE FOR LEGAL PURPOSES AGAINST JOAN M. WHEELER AND RUSSELL D. THOMAS OF WILSON NY (he made himself public by signing this on a separate page in the guest book; posted January 16, 2011. Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – Part 2; posted January 17, 2011. and Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel; also posted on January 17, 2011.
Now, Ms. Urdang, I will give some background information. This story was told to us many times through the years, and was also confirmed in March 2010 by my mother’s last surviving sibling, Richard L. Herr, currently living in Florida.
When my mother was diagnosed with the cancer in January 1956, her brothers had suggested to my father that she be seen by a cancer specialist at Roswell Park. My father hesitated, saying that he wasn’t sure if he could pay for it. The brothers offered to pay. My mother herself, refused the consultation from a specialist. She then died on March 28, 1956. Her brothers, in their grief, blamed my father for her death. However they felt about my father, they never, nor did their children, disrespect me or my siblings. My cousins, descendants of these five men, through the years, have always proved themselves to always have been respectful to my father, always referring to him as Uncle Leonard, and greeting him warmly when seeing him at other funerals, and at family reunions.
The hate message that was boldly printed in my father’s guest book was this:
“May he rot in hell for all eternity. From the Herrs: Charles, Matthew, Michael, Henry, Richard.”
These men are all dead, except for Richard, who is in Florida, in fact, he was on the phone with my sister Kathy, being physically in Florida when the forgery of his name was taking place.
If you, Ms. Urdang, are Joan Wheeler’s professional therapist, first and foremost, you overstepped your professional bounds by writing a personal recommendation of a book written by one of your clients. If you are her professional therapist, you are doing a poor job in counseling her. If you are involved with Joan in a merely personal level, as a friend, then you are doing a poor job as a friend. Because a friend would not let one carry on the way Joan does. A friend, or a professional therapist would try to make Joan understand the simple rule of “cause and effect.” When Joan tells a lie about a person, there can and will be repercussions.
If there are any further criminal acts committed by Joan, I will hold you partially responsible.
Respectfully submitted,
Ruth B. Pace
Like this:
One blogger likes this post.
Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, false accusations of sexual abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, Lies, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, theft, whining
by Ruth Sippel Pace
clarification, I copied and pasted a post that Joan had placed on the adoptee forum, and I answered here, on my blog. In the past, Joan has accused me of stalking her on the internet to see what she writes – call it stalking if you want, I call it “monitoring” what Joan says about me and my family. Because I have the right to know what is written about me. And if it’s a lie, I will mostly definitely straighten that lie out. Don’t like what I’m doing Joan? – too bad. THEN STOP WRITING ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY ON THE INTERNET – AND MOST IMPORTANT – STOP LYING ABOUT ME. A month ago, we sent this same message – after Joan got on the Huffington Post to smear our reputations and my grandfather’s reputation. – Whenever I see that Joan has writted stuff about me – I will be right there – because that it is my right. — Ruth Sippel Pace, April17, 2011, 11:17pm.
The other day I wrote an answer to this post that Joan placed on the adoptee forum:
“Realize that whatever trauma they have lived through, real or imagined, is what is driving them to hurt you.”
I answered: “Yeah, I get that Joan – whatever CRAP you went through as a child you are now taking out on your birth sisters. .. Well, I don’t give a DAMN what you went through. I don’t give a DAMN that your adoptive parents lied to you – you don’t get to write a book and tell lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. You don’t get to get on the internet and tel lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!”
I see that’s a bit harsh and wish to explain. When I was first reunited with Joan, and was getting to know her – I most certainly DID have sympathy for her for her “adoption trauma.” Of all her birth family, I believe I was the most supportive of her. It was ME who told her to “go for it,” when she first had the idea to write a book. It was ME who accompanied her to WGRZ-TV studio for a taping of human interest story on adoption reunion. This was in 1980 or 1981. – (addendum – April 18, 2011,) – addition, April 27, 2011: Anyone wishing to verify this story, contact reporter Rich Kellman at WGRZ-TV studios, 259 Delaware Ave, Buffalo, NY 14202. I’m not sure if they would still have records of this taping, but I don’t think it would hurt to ask. This verifies that I, one of Joan’s birth sisters, did indeed SUPPORT her in her adoption interests and causes, and did indeed have a relationship with her 30 years ago, despite her LYING and saying that we did not. I, Ruth Sippel Pace, provide documentation of everything that I say on this blog, contrary to Joan Wheeler, who gives NO proof, NO documentation, to prove her LIES.
and why didn’t these 2 instances of me supporting her and her adoption cause make it into her book on adoption? She writes about herself going to all these adoption reform meetings and conferences, her letters to the editorial pages of newspapers, but she doesn’t mention going to WGRZ-TV to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman? She was on TV, talking about adoption reunion, and she doesn’t write about it in her book about adoption? – She writes about how even a couple of people in the adoption reform field discouraged her to write her book – yet fails to write how I, her “horrible” birth sister actually encouraged her to write the book AND appeared on TV with her to discuss our reunion. – NO, she can’t write about that, see, because it would put into questiion her continual lying statements that “she had to be silenced” about her adoption interests. The only time we try to “silence” her is when she bores us to death on the subject or when she LIES – which is just about 99% of the time.
Although I did not agree to her tactics regarding my oldest sister’s Gert’s children – in fact I was appalled at Joan’s interference and bullying Gert over the adoption of Gert’s son by her and her new husband. And when she called child abuse on Gert over daughter, I was very angry with Joan.
In 1983, I was a bridesmaid in Joan’s wedding. She had borrowed my mother’s wedding gown 4 years earlier, volunteering to have it restored. She and her seamstress used the gown as a model to make a copy of. But then Joan removed bead trim off the original dress and put it on her own. She promised to replace the trim. She never did. When I got the gown back several months later, she had never restored or cleaned the gown. I waited until she asked me to babysit for her, and when that day came, I brought a pair of scissors with me and removed the bead trim from Joan’s gown – because the trim belonged to me – on my mother’s wedding gown – that my father had given me. – This was the first theft that Joan committed against me.
As the 80′s progressed – so did Joan’s bad behavior. Yet I continued to have a relationship with her. (despite her saying on the Huffington Post that we did not). I had been trying to conceive and had several books on pregnancy and child rearing. Joan even borrowed some of them – and I had a hell of a time getting them back. (so much for her saying in her book that I had merely “claimed” to want to have children). It was Joan who drove me home from the hospital in June 1985 after my miscarriage, and it was ME who drove her and her new daughter home from the hospital in October 1986.
In June 1987, Joan and I were on the phone. I was still grieving the loss of my son, (indeed, to this day, I still grieve), and I told Joan that I did not want to discuss infertility. But did Joan respect my wishes? No., she kept on talking about it. I told her 3 more times I did not want to talk about it. She kept on talking. I finally yelled at her to shut up and hung up on her. What kind of idiot keeps talking about a painful subject when the person asks, then finally demands that they don’t? I did not speak to Joan for a full year. I did not write to her. I did not call her.
But in 1988, I did call, and we reconciled. This was the time that we spent many days at the beach with her children – the summer of 1988, I was on disability for a back injury at work. I was going for physical therapy in the mornings, and enjoyed afternoons at the beach with my sister and her kids. These outings continued through the summers of 1989 and 1990, when my work schedule permitted it.
But Joan continued her bullying of me. And stealing from me. In 1990, we decided to buy an apartment building together. I borrowed money from the bank for a down payment. The money was in a joint checking account to be used for lawyer fees, real estate broker fees, etc. By September 1990, we didn’t find an apartment building that would suit us, and we dissolved the partnership. When the back account was closed, there was a lot of money missing. Joan confessed to me that she had been using the money for her day to day living expenses. I was livid. I borrowed this money from the bank to buy real estate, not to support Joan, who had a husband – who had a job. Our lawyer was to return part of his fee – and he sent us a letter that I would receive half, and Joan would receive half. Joan and I agreed that when she cashed her check, I would get the cash, because the lawyer’s fee was paid for out of the money that I had borrowed and placed in the account.
Then Joan called me on the phone and stated that she was keeping the money. I had finally had it with her bullshit bullying me and told her to keep the fucking money, but she was not my sister, and to stay away from me.
We did have a couple more interactions during the following year, mostly she kept calling and giving me excuses why she couldn’t repay me the money that she STOLE from me. Each time I just kept my distance.
Then by 1993 the out and out fighting began. For more details on the meddling, Joan’s stalking me, her pranks, her trying to get me fired from my job, her writing bullshit letters to elected officials about me – see my post of November 2, 2010, What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.
I remember shopping with my cousin Gail once, around 1991, and I were talking about Joan and the shit she had done to me. I told Gail, “I don’t know who I’m more angry at – Joan for doing this shit, or myself for allowing her to do it.”
Gail said, “You do it because you love her. You are trying to be a sister to her. I had some issues with my sister Ida, but this is different. Ida didn’t steal from me or tell lies. You need to put your foot down.”
And I did. In 1991, I refused to be Joan’s doormat any longer. And that’s when the real shit began and continues to this day. THAT is why throughout her book, the one person in Joan’s birth family that is the most written about in her filthy book is ME. Almost every page is Brenda this, Brenda that. (she calls me Brenda in her book). Because I had turned the cheek so many times to her shit and continued to take her shit – then when I stood up for myself – Joan set out to punish me along with other people in her book.
And I state here and now: I am a human being and do not deserve to be treated the way Joan has treated me. She had a wonderful person (me) who loved her. Who accepted her – as she was. I never judged her. I supported her. I loved her. BUT NO MORE. SHE PUSHED ME AWAY FROM HER – SHE TURNED MY LOVE FOR HER TO HATE. My hate for her has NOTHING to do with Joan’s imaginings that I blame her for our mother’s death, or her stupid lying shit that my grandfather molested me and I am jealous that Joan was adopted out and escaped that abuse. What a crock of shit – my grandfather never molested me or my sisters. But Joan will stop at nothing – she loves to tell lies about me and my sisters.
The reason I hate Joan is because of her own actions to me. Joan needs to take responsiblity for her own choices in life. At the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to search for her birth family. She didn’t have to look for us – we found her. (our bad). But we had no idea that our younger sister was a such a BITCH. We took her to our hearts, and she betrayed and hurt each and every one of us. And one by one, we all turned our backs on her -even our father threw her out of his house several times, the last incident being in 2009, where he called his lawyer and REMOVED Joan from even his pre-planned funeral arrangements and his self-written obituary.
It is all on Joan. She did this. She treated her birth family like shit and we Sippels are not shit.
And that is why I reiterate what I wrote to Joan the other day and I don’t give a DAMN that it is harsh:
I don’t give a DAMN what you went through. I don’t give a DAMN that your adoptive parents lied to you – you don’t get to write a book and tell lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. You don’t get to get on the internet and tel lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!
Here is the gist of my post of November 2, 2010 – a concise listing of the shit that Joan has done to her birth family.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
- Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
- Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
- For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
- Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
- Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
- Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
- For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
- For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
- For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
- For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
- An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
- For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
- The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
- Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
- Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
- The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
- Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
- The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
Now ask me if I care about any “trauma” Joan is going through. – I don’t.
Additional comment by Gert McQueen, Saturday, April 16, 2010:
Ruth’s newest post called…Why I don’t give a DAMN about Joan Wheeler’s adoption trauma or any other “trauma” she’s going through is very well said! Excellent! Concise! Accurate!
And yes the purpose of this blog is to refute and expose every dirty thing that Joan Wheeler has done to our entire family and we shall NEVER stop exposing the TRAUMA that Joan has done to us!
I would like to add something more to this item:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
1(a) Falsely accusing Gert and husband of child abuse to her daughter. Those charges were PROVEN to be totally FALSE and were EXPUGED by the State and never were to be EXPOSED by anyone including Joan.
1 (b) Joan and Doctor Hoksbergen’s statements about me sexually abusing Joan are based purely on some kind of adoption pyschobable nonsense…there is no truth to such nonsense…these false accusations (sexual abuse and child abuse) are Joan’s attempts to ‘hit below the belt’ at me for NOT continuing a sexual three-way that Joan wanted to have and continue.
I stand by my decision in 1981…I divorced her from my family…I renounced her then and I maintain that denouncement…Her conception and birth to my parents was an ACCIDENT OF THE FATES. She is NO SISTER and I shall continue to refute her lies to my dying day!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, Disrespect, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
by Gert McQueen and Ruth Pace
This is the particular exchange that threw Joan Wheeler into a huff on the Huffington Post:
Joan’s post:
Mrs Delacour,
I am not grateful to be adopted. Why would I? My adoptive parents knowingly and willingly prevented me from knowing my own full blood siblings during my childhood and that is child abuse. Yes, my natural father relinquish ed me to adoption when I was 4 months old just after the death of my mother. He kept the other 4 children. That alone is hurtful, but my adoptive parents knew my father and open visitation could have been arranged. But my so-called loving adoptive parents kept me all to themselves , alone, in their sheltered cocoon of adoption-l ove. I should have been told the truth.
Now about the birth certificat e issue: I was born the 5th child to married parents. My original birth certificat e states that there were 4 other children born to this mother. I was given a name and my long form birth certificat e states the date and time of birth in the hospital. My natural father gave this document to my adopting parents when he relinquished me.
Gert’s comment
Child abuse!!??? Get a grip! Not knowing any blood siblings is NOT abuse, dear sister!
And you should not throw stones around so freely particularly when you have called two false abuse charges at me in the past, because you knew better! Wrong, you were wrong, then and you are wrong now.
There are reasons why in adoption you don’t get to know the blood family, and it certainly isn’t because anyone is doing any kind of abuse! That is only in your mind!
There were NOT such things as open adoption/visitation in your case, dear sister. You are beating a dead horse! It was not hurtful that you were placed in adoption and separate from the other four…the re was NO ONE to take care of YOU, dear sister…a nd you did NOT have the same fates that we had. And don’t even go there and blame that on adoption!
Why don’t you stop being so hateful to the people who gave you so much!! Who paid for your college education, that you don’t use? Your siblings didn’t have all the benefits that you had in adoption. Being grateful is one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself, but, you would rather stay poor and in hate.
Instead of hating adoption and everyone who adopts, why don’t you try living a life for a change.
Ruth’s comment:
So, a couple of days after this exchange, because we Sippel Sisters DARED to post an opinion on an internet site, Joan goes on a rampage and cuts and pastes stuff from her lying cyberbullying page. In an effort to “silence” us. Joan thinks she owns the internet. Joan can post things, but her birth sisters are NOT allowed to post. Too bad, Joan, you don’t own the internet, you don’t own Huffington Post, you couldn’t control your sisters, and you couldn’t control Huffington Post. Your arrogance got you kicked off!
So when Joan saw she couldn’t control us by preventing us from opening an account on Huffington and accessing our American Constitutional First Amendment Right to Free Speech, Joan decides that even her own cyberbullying crap wasn’t good enough. So she adds an additional slur against us – the bullshit about our grandfather molesting us when we were kids.
I have to hand it to Joan – she really needs to get a job writing for a soap opera. She’s good at the cliff hangers! In her book and on her website, she hints that she has “secrets” that her birth sisters don’t want her to tell. We have gone on this blog about a year ago and asked her what those secrets are. She has never responded, until now. So this is the SECRET! Are there any more secrets Joan? Come on, OUT WITH IT NOW! STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. I’M CALLING IN YOUR BLUFF! I WANT TO SEE MORE DELUSIONS FROM YOUR SICK BRAIN SO I CAN HAVE ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH! I want to see some more of your “torpedos of truth.” roflmao! You could give Charlie Sheen a run for his money. — got Tiger Blood? ha ha ha!
O my gosh, do you people see what a scumbag she is? Let’s suppose for one minute that her allegations are true. Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that? Do you think people who write the laws of America is going to listen to this whackjob and take her recommendations to change birth certificate access laws? They are going to see her for what she is – a liar and someone who tries to hold her own birth family blackmail by threatening to tell lies and secrets about them. And then makes sick lying allegations about a very serious thing – child sexual abuse! Every adult survivor of child sexual abuse should slap Joan in the face for what she has lied about, for it makes a mockery of what they endured. NO ONE has the right to lie about something this serious.
I say again Joan: OUT WITH IT! Because me and my sisters are not going to succumb to emotional blackmail by you. Whatever “hold” you think you have over us, forget about it. You have none. All you have is your lies. And now, for the FOURTH time, Joan, I am challenging you to a lie detector test. Silence speaks volumes. She won’t answer me on this one because she knows the truth would stick in her throat and choke her.
So now I ask you Joan, WHO told you that I was molested by my grandfather? My grandfather? Let’s see, nope, he died in 1959. My grandmother? Nope, she died in 1965. Me? Nope, because I wouldn’t tell you about something that never happened. Was it my father? Nope, because again, it never happened. And speaking of my father, notice how Joan comes out with this bullshit AFTER my father is dead – because now my father can’t get in her face for her smearing his father’s reputation! Like he turned his back on her in 2009 for her insulting his religion and his mother.
So getting back to Joan’s statement to Mrs. Delacour “I am not grateful to be adopted.”
Well, shit, if the allegations against my grandfather were true, wouldn’t Joan BE grateful to have been adopted out and escape the alleged molestation?
No, I believe something else is going on here. And it is something that I have wondered about for years. Joan HATES men. She HATES my father for giving her up for adoption. She HATES her birth siblings that were NOT adopted. She HATES adoption. She HATES the fact she was adopted. She HATES her adoptive parents. She is so full of hate and rage. So full of hate and rage, and disproportionally so.
WHY?
Because it was not the Sippel Sisters were sexually molested as children, I believe IT WAS JOAN WHEELER HERSELF WHO WAS SEXUALLY MOLESTED AS A CHILD, PROBABLY BY A WHEELER RELATIVE!
Gert McQueen adds this comment:
Joan Wheeler says she is a Social Worker and as such she is bound by their codes of ethics. Well perhaps she ought to be brought up on charges of violation of the codes of ethics of Social Workers. Any takers? I think I might!!!
In part Ruth has said:
“Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that?”
It just so happens that I have the ethic codes and what do they say?
The National Association of Social Workers codes of ethics.
1. SOCIAL WORKERS’ ETHICAL RESPONSIBILITIES TO CLIENTS
1.07 Privacy and Confidentiality
(a) Social workers should respect clients’ right to privacy. Social workers should not solicit private information from clients unless it is essential to providing services or conducting social work evaluation or research. Once private information is shared, standards of confidentiality apply.
(b) Social workers may disclose confidential information when appropriate with valid consent from a client or a person legally authorized to consent on behalf of a client.
(c) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons. The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable, and imminent harm to a client or other identifiable person. In all instances, social workers should disclose the least amount of confidential information necessary to achieve the desired purpose; only information that is directly relevant to the purpose for which the disclosure is made should be revealed.
(d) Social workers should inform clients, to the extent possible, about the disclosure of confidential information and the potential consequences, when feasible before the disclosure is made. This applies whether social workers disclose confidential information on the basis of a legal requirement or client consent.
(h) Social workers should not disclose confidential information to thirdparty payers unless clients have authorized such disclosure.
(i) Social workers should not discuss confidential information in any setting unless privacy can be ensured. Social workers should not discuss confidential information in public or semipublic areas such as hallways, waiting rooms, elevators, and restaurants.
(q) Social workers should not disclose identifying information when discussing clients with consultants unless the client has consented to disclosure of confidential information or there is a compelling need for such disclosure.
(r) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of deceased clients consistent with the preceding standards.
Gert says:
Sure looks like violation of the codes of ethics for the National Association of Social Workers to me! I say again, any takers? Anyone willing to press charges against Joan Wheeler for ethics violations? No takers? Well, I guess that’s the next thing I ought to look into!!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, cyberbullying, emotional abuse, false accusations of sexual abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, sleazeball, stupidity
A personal message to Joan Wheeler
Are you proud of yourself? Your latest low-down rotten slur against your blood kin shows not only us, but the entire world what a low life you are.
Blabbing on the internet a suppposed sexual molestation – you have the nerve to first accuse my grandfather of this heinous deed, which is completely FALSE!
And what if is was true? what kind of f’ing sleaze goes on the internet and blabs that?
Guess what readers? There is a person, close to Joan Wheeler, who at the age of 3, was sexually molested. And I KNOW it is true, because at the time, I was close to this young person. I will NOT blab who it was, or who did it. Why not? Because I have more class than Joan Wheeler.
We Three Sippel Sisters do not like Joan, not because we are jealous of her, or any other kind of delusional thought patterns that Joan may think of – We hate her because of her continual acts of hate towards us – we have been using this blog to chronicle her rotten deeds to us, and this act is another example of how Joan treats us. We, as human beings, do not deserve to be treated like this. Who the hell does Joan think she is? Well, she’s getting slapped down now, and slapped down hard. Because she doesn’t act like a normal human being. She acts like a f’ing moron. Only a moron goes on the internet and spreads shit like this.
Joan does not owe us an apology however, she owes an apology to all the adult survivors of child sexual abuse – yes, because when Joan posted what she did, merely as a ploy to hurt us, she made a mockery of this heinous act. And she needs to be deeply ashamed of herself. Because of the person who I alluded to above. I wonder how Joan could look at that person in the eye after making a mockery of what that person went through. And all other child sexual abuse victims – Joan is an asshole! She will burn in hell for this.
Let her run to her adoptee buddies at the Adult Adoptee forum and say some lies about us now. But she can’t weasel her way out of this one.
Joan Wheeler – DROP DEAD!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, delusional thinking, delusions, Disrespect, elder abuse, emotional abuse, exploitation of a rape victim, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, willful intent to emotionally harm a person
by Ruth Sippel Pace
So this idiotic neurotic nutball has the nerve to say on the internet that her birth sisters were sexually molested by their grandfather. What a lowdown bitch she is.
First, this never happened. Joan keeps scraping the bottom of her filthy black heart to come up with lies to use against her birth sisters.
Second, even if it were true, how would you dare to post this – what a filthy bitch Joan is – this is called exploitation of a rape victim, and is the lowest a person could go in a smear campaign.
Yes, what Joan did is to try to exploit a rape victim, even if the event never happened, it is Joan’s INTENT - she wanted to hurt us. Why would anyone want to try to hurt another human being in this fashion? – Joan has no morals. And she proves it when she wrote another filthy lie about her birth family in her continual smear campaign against her birth sisters and true to her ELDER ABUSING character, she sullies the character of my elderly grandfather, a man who having died 52 years ago, is no longer around to defend himself.
What kind of immoral bitch are you Joan? Please take your delusions and shove them.
Adoption reformers: take a good look at Joan Mary Wheeler. do you like what you see?
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, delusional thinking, delusions, Disrespect, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, exploitation of a rape victim, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
(Joan’s posts in blue, Gert’s are in green)
Gert McQueen:
Well I guess I missed something in all the excitement on the Huff site…
Joan said:
Fact is that is that my older sisters were molested by our grandfathe r and they think I escaped by being adopted. So they blame me for being an adoption activist. They were not adopted, I was, and they weasel into my life every chance they get.”
This woman is so out to lunch, she obviously doesn’t have a clue about anything anymore. How does Joan know anything as FACT in relationship to the blood family? She is kidding herself, she knows nothing. She added this section, as another thought, as she was in the middle of writing her rantings on the Huffington site. This shows that she is beginning to crack up, BIG TIME. She was in the middle of a cut and paste job from her cyberbullying page rant against us AND she got carried away and added this new comment against what Ruth and I were writing. She had to make her case against us as more and more outlandish.
Doesn’t she see that people SEE the insanity in what she writes? Of course NOT, she is mentally ill.
To state such a ‘fact’, even if it were true, is to show what bad taste and low life Joan really is. And then to add more fantasies that, she ‘escaped’ molestation by adoption and that is why we hate her.
Fact, for what she is talking about….it didn’t happened! What an outrageous statement to say! Not only is it untrue, but it is so ‘below the belt’ that it has no shred of decency to it. Joan is so sick she has lost all sense of decency. She thinks she can hurt us with all these lies but in reality she is HURTING herself. People read what she writes and they want to get as far away from her as possible.
Let’s talk about ‘weasel’ ing into another life. It was Joan that weaseled herself into our lives, not the other way around. Joan seems to have forgotten her book were she details how and why she interfered in all of our lives. But fear not, we will shall be getting OUR SIDE OF THE STORY out there.
Why the hell would I want to be in Joan’s life? It is only because she refuses to get OUT of our lives that we are speaking out against her. If she didn’t want us in her life why did she write about us…did she think we would be happy with what she had to say?
Get rid of that book Joan and we will be out of your life. I don’t care about your activist activity with adoption, I care about your damn lies…
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bluffing, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, dishonesty, emotional abuse, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, police, polygraph, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
by Ruth Pace and Gert MccQueen
On March 5, 2011, Joan Wheeler and I had a little exchange on The Huffington Post website. I have already posted about that in my post here . Joan chose to start the insults and mudslinging again. She copied and pasted crap from her lying cyberbulling website, slandering us again. Gert McQueen and I, have posted on the site, and NOT our sister Kathy. But Joan, who seems to think that the Three Sippel Sisters are one entity, not only slanders me and Gert, but Kathy as well. Kathy has done nothing. Kathy has not posted to the Huffington Post website, and as far as I know, has not even gone there to read any of the stuff. But Joan in her mudslinging doesn’t care – and true to her snotty character, falsely accuses Kathy of bothering her.
I must first point out that when we see Joan post on the internet, if it is strictly about her work in the adoption reform field, we respect that. We do NOT comment. HOWEVER, if Joan posts about us or our family, we DO speak up, because usually when she writes about her birth family it is a bunch of lies. And it is not neccessary to speak about her birth family when she writes about her adoption reform issues. It is only neccessary to speak of us in generalities. As a matter fact, since she was adopted in 1957, and she was reunited with us in 1974, she has no business at all writing about her birth family’s lives from 1957 to 1974, as she was not there, and events in my life, my sisters’ lives, and the rest of our family’s lives have no bearing on her adoption, her adoption reform work, or her at all. And when Joan posts about me or my family, I have the right to know what is being said about me and my family. And since she is posting about us, we have the right to answer it.
In response to Joan’s comments on the Huffington site, Gert posted one comment, and I posted several. I was disgusted by Joan’s continual slanderous attacks on me and my sisters, so I flagged Joan’s comments this morning. I flagged them as offensive, because they were. Joan was once again spreading lies about me and my sisters.
This afternoon, around 1:30 pm, Gert wrote another comment in response to Joan’s lies. Comments posted are saved until approved by a moderator. Gert had the good sense to copy and paste not only her pending comment, but Joan’s previous comments. Ten minutes later, the moderators at Huffington Post pulled all of Joan’s slanderous comments. With them, all answering comments were also deleted. I was copying and pasting my comments on notepad, but accidentally deleted them. But we have at least one exchange that Gert had saved and sent it to me via email, to post here. To show our blog readers what kind of a snake Joan is.
To sum up what happened – Joan commented on adoption, which is fine by me, BUT then she mentions my family again. Joan had said that she was adopted at the age of 4 months. I answered her and corrected her and said she was adopted at the age of 3 months. But I was wrong – it was indeed 4 months. Joan answered and corrected me. Fair enough. HOWEVER, Joan, with her diarrhea of the mouth (and fingers on the keyboard) began to slander me again. AND my sisters. She then said that she has had no relationship with us for over 3 decades. Well, I answered back and corrected her that 3 decades, 30 years, takes us back to 1981, and I was a bridesmaid of hers in 1983. I told her stop lying. Joan of course, can’t stand to be corrected, and launched into a full scale assault on us again. I countered with the truth, which Joan cannot stand, so she posted her offensive shit again.
Because these things have been deleted, no one can see them. Except for a couple of them, right here. Now you can see how Joan goes on other internet sites and attacks us and slanders us.
Here is Gert’s email to me, in it’s entirety, except for email addresses removed. Joan’s original posts are in blue. Gert’s posts are in green.
From: ger@ Subject: saturdays’ posts
To: ruth -
CC: ger -
here’s what I wrote that didn’t get on….I say…use this on the blog….show people how she goes after us and how we defend ourselves and even tho we got kicked off the Huff, so did Joan…but unlike Joan we will put it up on the blog
To Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis, Gertrude Sippel McQueen
You can search my names on Google, read every comment and post I ever wrote, send follow-up comment postings and email to instigate and aggravate me. You don’t want me in your life so stay out of mine.
You are a destructiv e force in the goals that I, and other adoption reformers, want to achieve.
I have gone to the police repeatedly to try to stop you. Orders of Protection only work for six months or one year, then, you are back again. New York State does not have Internet Bullying Laws. If New York did have these laws, I would have all three of my sisters arrested and convicted for causing me emotional and financial distress.
My three sisters do prove my point that separating siblings, especially after the death of a parent during childhood, damages the children who bring their mental anguish into adulthood.
My siblings have been inflicting their sick perversion s and twisted obsessions upon me and my children and my adoptive mother since 1974. It appears that they will continue this right into old age and death. That is how mentally sick they are.
http://cyb erbulliess talkers.bl ogspot.com /
For adoption reform: http://for biddenfami ly.com
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullies, bully, bullying, cowardice, cyberbullying, Disrespect, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, religious intolerance, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
by Gert McQueen – with additional commentary by Ruth Pace
I found the following in my local Watertown Daily Times paper January 16, 2011. It is important for a couple of reasons…bullying is wide spread, it is everywhere and unless you are aware of it and learn what to do you can’t protect yourself from it. I myself am a senior citizen living in senior housing. I have seen the cliques, that are described in this article, I have seen and heard various comments and actions and I have HAD TO SPEAK UP about and against name calling, in my presence. The result was that, at least to my face, the intimidator is as nice as pie to me and others! And the others, those that are far older and more physically impaired than I, KNOW that I will speak up and out against bullies on their benefit.
But living in senior housing isn’t the first time I have been aware of and been a victim of bullying. I encountered it at my employment…over 15 years of it. I had to constantly re-educate people about what it was and how to prevent it and blow the whistle every time it happened. In fact, my particular work-enviroment and my active calling attention to the bullying tactics was and is the basis of the now current prevent bullying in the workplace program. I kid you NOT. Most work places have policies against such things, but rarely does anyone do anything to prevent it and stop it, because it is such an insidious kind of thing. I was NOT going to be a victim and my job was not going to suffer because of others and I took a stand then and I take the stand now against bullying.
Now most people see how common it is for Joan Wheeler to claim that she is being bullied by myself and others. But Joan Wheeler hasn’t a clue on what true bullying is. I have already addressed that, in depth, in other blog posts and I shall continue to call Joan the bully and expose her bait and switch and run and hid and cover her ass after it’s been exposed and all the other little games that true bullies do when exposed. The more Joan Wheeler screams that she is being harassed the more a fool she becomes.
The great key to preventing bullying is to EXPOSE it, put all kinds of light on it…that is what I do…I put light on Joan’s mental disrupted mind thoughts that are the basis for why the birth sisters are exposing the lies that Joan has told…that is not bullying but truth telling. Joan has a history of bullying, if a person REALLY reads Joan’s book you will see for yourself how Joan describes the bullying of her adoptive mother! She is so totally unaware that she has put into words, in a book and in blogs, her own bullying techniques for all to see. But, if you don’t really read or listen to Joan fully you miss it.
I shall continue with putting all light on the lies and bullying tactics of Joan Wheeler. –
The Arizona Republic Woman, 76, experiences bullying at retirement community
Doris Lor says it wasn’t until she reached her 70s that she understood what it’s like to be bullied. The 76-year-old retired secretary has lived in New York, California and a couple of parts of the Valley, and said she always found her neighbors friendly and felt welcomed in crafts clubs and community groups – until she moved into an age-restricted retirement community in Chandler. That’s when she encountered her first bullies, and her social life took a dramatic turn for the worse. “There is a clique here that is meaner than mean,” Lor said. “The first time I went to the recreation center, a man yelled at me, ‘This is a private club. You aren’t welcome here.’ “
Social workers, recreation-center officials and others who work with the elderly say the problem Lor describes is getting more common as the retirement population increases and more people enter care homes and retirement centers. Melanie Starns, an assistant Arizona Department of Economic Security director overseeing the Aging and Adult Services Division, said her staff often hears stories about bullying, but they do not keep statistics on them. “It’s a pretty big deal. The mean girls were there in school and as we get older, they are still around,” she said.
Lor, who has lived in a 1,150-home retirement community called Solera Chandler since 2003, said she has never received support from the community’s manager or HOA board. She said she was annoyed to receive a letter of reprimand from the HOA in September after she tried to confront the residents she says exclude her from community programs. Solera Chandler’s manager and HOA president declined comment on Lor’s experiences. HOA President Mark Herrald responded to an interview request with a letter stating that his community “has not and will not tolerate bullying on the common areas of the community.”
Lor said despite repeated complaints and letters to the director of her homeowners association, she can’t get a seat at a card table, gets the cold shoulder at the women’s club and has been chased away from seats at the community pool. “No matter where you go, even if you pay for the activity, the clique saves all the seats,” Lor said. “I have never had a problem like this anywhere else. I have never been bullied at any other time in my life.”
Bullying among seniors appears to be a national problem. When the Akron Beacon Journal hosted a call-in program about bullying for northern Ohio residents, people answering the phones were surprised by the number of seniors who dialed in. One older couple said they were trapped in their home because of harassment from bullying neighbors. More often, Starns said, older people act like bullies for the same reasons that younger ones do: to respond to someone or something that makes them feel insecure. Dementia also may be one underlying cause of nasty behavior, experts say.
“When people become more frail, they feel more vulnerable,” Starns said. “Some people adjust, while other people develop difficult and destructive behaviors.” Large organizations that deal with seniors, such as Phoenix’s city-run senior centers and the Recreation Centers of Sun City, usually have codes of conduct that ban yelling, obscene language and other verbal abuse. “Whenever you get a large number of people together, things happen. We never outgrow being human,” explained Tim Gallen, communications coordinator for Sun City’s recreations centers. Penalties against bullying at his centers are strictly enforced, Gallen said. Abusive members might receive a reprimand in the mail or, in the case of multiple complaints, a suspended membership, he said.
Deanna Jonovich, a deputy Phoenix human-services director, said anyone who attends lunches and recreation programs at the city’s senior centers must sign a code of conduct that states that all center members will be treated with “consideration, respect and recognition of their dignity.”
Robin Bonifas, a gerontology expert and assistant professor at the Arizona State University School of Social Work who is researching bullying, estimates that 10 to 20 percent of older people in care homes experience some type of abuse from fellow residents. She ultimately hopes to recommend better ways for social workers and other caregivers to help the elderly handle peer conflicts.
“This is an important issue to get out there,” Bonifas said. “There needs to be clear expectations about what kind of behavior is appropriate. The best way to deal with bullying is to have an all-around culture where bullying is unacceptable.” Lor said she now stays inside her house and works on crafts alone, or visits friends at Sun Lakes, a nearby retirement community where she said she is welcome to swim and do crafts as a visitor.
“What angers me the most is what they have done to me,” Lor said. “I don’t even want to go out and make friends with people in this community anymore.” Steve Lacy, ombudsman coordinator for the non-profit Area Agency on Aging in central Phoenix, said ignoring bullies is a good strategy. His staff often coaches older people about how to handle snubs and aggression by fellow care-home residents.
“Sometimes the best thing to do is just find someone else to have a meal with,” he said. –
Ruth’s note: And this is what we have been trying to do – we have been trying to break free from Joan for years – to find “someone else to have a meal with.” But Joan will not take NO for an answer! For all her whining that the Three Sippel Sisters will not leave her alone, it has not been US continuing the contact – it has been JOAN. It is has not been US who keeps the “gossip mill” going – it has been JOAN. We had peace from 2004 to 2008 – no contact at all! (I did send her a letter – begging for monetary help in December 2004, she still owed me over $300.00 from what she STOLE from me and I was behind in my property taxes – in danger of foreclosure, I begged for even ten lousy bucks. She took my letter and tried to institute harassment charges on me, but the court denied her petition, because they could see my letter was not harassment, but a plea for help. I should have known better than to ask such a selfish creep for help). After that, I said to myself, well, for all her saying the family needs healing, F her, and when one day she will need help and face possible homelessness, this will come back to haunt her. I neither saw her, nor heard about her for almost 4 years. Peace, Glorious PEACE!
Then in September 2008, on a now defunct blog of hers, Joan attacked us, with her newly coined moniker for us: The Three Sippel Sisters. She attacked our religions, and WARNED us to stay away from her. But, but – we HAD been away from her — why out of the clear blue sky did she go on the internet and attack us? Because she is a BULLY!
Then in 2009 – she started a new blog, and in October 2009, on Yom Kippur, Joan posts a blog entry about the Jewish holiday of forgiveness, but made an error about it. On of the Three Sippel Sisters, being a converted Jew, submitted a nice comment, correcting her error. Being new to the internet, she used her real name/email address. At first Joan was nice, even leaving a reply, saying something like she always knew she’d be in contact with Kathy again. Then a couple of days later, the bully in Joan came out and she attacked Kathy, accusing her of “bothering her.” In the course of two days, Joan did a 180 – from saying nice things to Kathy, then with no further contact, ATTACKS Kathy!
A couple of weeks later, the book of lies was published. And the whole book is nothing but a rant from a bully! Gross misrepresentations and flagrant lies are in this book! And to further insult us, Joan goes on various internet forums and continues to lie about us! So I started this blog. Which Joan can’t stand that we are not going to shut up and she goes running to her adoptee friends to whine about us – “My sisters are bothering me. Get them away from me.” – True bully tactics – attack someone, and when that someone fights back – the bully cannot stand the heat! Goes whining to someone else for help.
A couple of times, Joan has even gone back to her blog and attempted to wipe out or hide some of her attacks on us. Coward. If it is necessary to erase what you have written, logic dictates that what you wrote should not have been written in the first place. And if it is necessary to erase what you have written, logic further dictates that an apology is in order, or at least an explanation to your blog readers why something had been removed. This is also a bullying tactic – written attacks, meant to be seen by the bully’s target. Once the target has seen the written attack, the bully quickly removes all traces of it, so there is no evidence of it. Joan forgets the internet is virtually forever. Once it’s in cyberspace – it can’t be taken back.
Most people say “ignore the bully.” But that doesn’t always work. What does work is standing up to the bully – shedding light on the bully and their deeds. And this is exactly what this blog is for. To shed light on Joan’s bully tactics -her deeds and her words – which are cowardly, hateful, disgusting. —
BEHOLD – JOAN MARY WHEELER – THE BULLY!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, desecration of a funeral item, dishonesty, Disrespect, elder abuse, emotional abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, harassment of the dying, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
It’s a week now since Gert and I have posted about the events of the past 2 years that got Joan disowned by my father, and our telling of the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I can’t understand Joan’s silence. Usually when it is reported that someone is angry at her (in this case my father), Joan will go off on a rant and blame Ruth. Or Ruth/Gert/Kathy. But what I find very strange is Joan’s lack of indignation at the desecration of HER father’s guest book at his funeral. I mean, that was HER father, wasn’t it? She seems to think so. She even placed a second death notice in The Buffalo News on my father listing HER as his daughter! She did this because SHE was removed from the original death notice that was in the paper 2 days before.
Oh, I see – she was angry because SHE was slighted, but NOT angry because my father was slighted. What a charming loving daughter. typical of her.
After we posted about the hate message that was placed in my father’s guest book, Joan’s male friend Russell Thomas sent me an email to my private email. He had my private email address because of an email that I had sent him a few months ago. Mr. Thomas, Joan’s puppet left me a couple of nasty comments on this blog. In the first one he called me a bitch, in a couple more he said that I don’t think straight, then another one where he backtracked and said he was only trying to help. Oh sure, I really believe that one. If he was trying to help, he wouldn’t have called me names. There were a few more, which were deleted, unread. Mr. Thomas was mad because in this blog we are laying out the bad behavior of his friend Joan. Then a few days before the anniversary of my mother’s birthday Joan writes an “honor” statement to my mother, but as usual, just has to add a degrading dig against my mother’s daughters, me and Gert and Kathy.
Since Mr. Thomas had already assured me that he was confident that Joan was going to behave, and Joan had “hidden” this dig against us on an obscure page on her website, (which it’s purpose is supposed to be about adoption reform, NOT hurling personal insults against her own blood-kin, and which is still there). I emailed Mr. Thomas directing him to this page. (I had Mr. Thomas’ email address because he provided it when he left his stupid comments on this blog). I must point out that I emailed Mr. Thomas ONCE and ONCE ONLY. He emailed me back, via my private email, saying something about what Joan wrote was “pretty scathing,” but no worse than what we have written on this blog. Again, I didn’t read his entire message, and deleted it. The reason I didn’t read it is because I could see that Mr. Thomas is not interested in the TRUTH, which is what is written here on this blog. He is only interested in defending his new friend Joan. Mr. Thomas also left a comment on a public forum (a separate public forum elsewhere on the net), accusing me of objecting to Joan’s existence. – Wrong. Joan had gone on this forum, and again, violated the privacy of MY family, telling things that happened to the Sippel family AFTER the year 1957, the year she was adopted OUT of the Sippel family. AND she didn’t even tell these things truthfully. I went on the forum, and gave the CORRECT events of MY childhood. And why should Mr. Thomas, a STRANGER to me, object to ME telling the TRUTH of MY childhood?
Who the hell is Mr. Thomas to tell Ruth Pace that she can not tell the truth of her own childhood? And who the hell is Joan Wheeler that she can go on public internet forums and tell LIES about MY childhood?
After Mr. Thomas sent me the email admitting to Joan’s “scathing” post, I notified him via this blog, which I know he reads, NOT to contact me via my private email address, and to stop leaving hate messages on this blog. So a couple of days later, I see ANOTHER email via my private email address from Mr. Thomas. I deleted it unread. I left another message on this blog that Mr. Thomas was now a HARASSER – because he contacted me via my private email AFTER I told him not to.
After Gert and I posted that an eyewitness witnessed Mr. Thomas as the one who desecrated my father’s guest book, Mr. Thomas contacted me AGAIN via my private email. I posted a notice on this blog, for legal purposes, on public internet, that Mr. Thomas was now actively harassing me with unwanted contact. This man is a stranger to me and my family, he has no business commenting on MY family, or on MY childhood. The purpose of this blog is take a lie that Joan Wheeler has placed in her book, and to refute that lie – to tell the TRUTH of MY own childhood. IT IS MY CHILDHOOD, MY LIFE, THAT I AM WRITING ABOUT MR. THOMAS, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT I CAN NOT WRITE ABOUT IT!
So getting back to the desecration of the guest book and the events preceding my father’s funeral. In 2006, my father, pre-paid for all his and his wife’s funeral and related arrangements, even writing out the death notice and obituary for the newspaper. Yes, Joan was included in it. In 2008 and 2009, Joan insulted my father to the point that he had to throw her out of his house (again). My father told her at that time not to come around him anymore. He then went to the funeral home, and REMOVED Joan from his papers. My father REMOVED Joan’s name from his death notice and obituary. On or about November 15, 2010, I spoke to my father and he told me that he was “done with Joan. I don’t want to see her.”
Just after New Years, 2011, Joan’s adoptive mother “took a turn for the worse,” and Joan writes on a forum that she is “dreading” her death. So she decides to go visit my father, although he told her not to come around. She came to his apartment on January 4, 2011, with Mr. Thomas and entered the unlocked door. My stepmother, frail and on permanent oxygen, was frightened. Joan got information out of her – that my father was in the hospital. Joan and Mr. Thomas then went to the hospital to see my father AFTER he told her to stay away from him. Supposedly, according to Mr. Thomas, Joan apologized to my father. Mr. Thomas wrote a comment on this blog saying that he “thinks” my father forgave her. Then he said if he didn’t forgive her, that it was my father’s problem. Excuse me, Mr. Thomas, who the hell are YOU to say that my father, just days from his death had a “problem?” Then, further in Mr. Thomas’ comment, he begins to LECTURE me on forgiving!!!
Again, I ask, just who the hell does this man think he is that he can LECTURE me?
Because of Joan’s HARASSMENT of a sick, weak and dying man, — yes HARASSMENT – she had been told STAY AWAY, DON’T CALL- by my father, but as usual, she thinks she will do what SHE wants, with a total disregard for anybody’s else feelings and wants! Because of this HARASSMENT – the entire family barred Joan from the hospital. And just a couple of hours after his death, as the family sat about his body, saying their goodbyes, Joan calls AGAIN! The person who answered held the receiver at arm’s length – “It’s Joan. What should I tell her?” THE FAMILY in unison, said, “no, tell her nothing. we don’t want her here.” So she was told, “you just missed him.” Twenty minutes later, Joan calls AGAIN! (is she learning impaired, she can’t understand English? What part of DON’T CALL, does she NOT get?) This time, I answered the phone. I looked at the family, with a look of helplessness, – they knew who was on the line. They shook their heads. I said, “he is unavailable,” and hung up.
Later on that evening, Joan got hold of a family member and was told that my father had died. “it would have been nice if I had been told,”she commplained. NO, it wouldn’t have. What happened the last time someone told her of a relative’s death? On November 3, 2009, I learned that an aunt of mine died. And Joan was originally named for her. I called my father and told him. Knowing that he had thrown Joan out of his house several months before, I was not sure if he still had her phone number. So I just came out and asked him. He sounded very tired. To save him the trouble of talking to Joan, I called Joan to tell her about Aunt Doris. I did not go around sneaking around asking relatives for your phone number Joan. So stop telling people that LIE! After I told Joan that Aunt Doris died, Joan subjected me to verbal abuse. Screaming obscenities at me. Who the hell does Joan think she is, that she can do this to another human being? Since Joan can’t act like an adult, and BEHAVE herself, she was NOT informed of my father’s death. Again, Joan, it is YOUR behavior that dictates how other people act towards you. If you act like an idiot, you will be treated like an idiot.
And why is she complaining, “It would have have been nice if I had been told” anyway? My first reaction on hearing my father had died was to scream and cry and my husband needing to calm me down. What is Joan’s reaction? She complains.
The following day, Wednesday, January 12, Gert came into town and was at my father’s apartment with our elderly stepmother. She was at the ktichen table while our stepmother was nearby clearing her answering machine. Gert heard several messages from Joan from the day before, one in particular, Joan stated clearly “I will keep calling until I find out about my father.” How dare you Joan? You were told NOT TO CALL! You know my father was in the hospital, therefore you are going to HARASS an elderly woman because you wanted to know what was going on? Who the hell appointed YOU the boss of the family that YOU will dictate that YOU will keep calling AFTER you have been told NOT TO CALL?
The family, however, decided to be nice to Joan, and granted her a private viewing time (4:30pm, after the rest of the family had left) at the funeral home. She showed up with Mr. Thomas. At 4pm, as the family was leaving, Joan’s daughter, alone, came in and spoke a few minutes with Gert. As we left, she was standing at the casket, her back was towards the guest book.
I am not sure of the exact time frame of the events, but two different people related the following to us. These people being the funeral director and a woman, a cousin of an old high school friend of one of the Three Sippel Sisters. She saw Joan enter the room with a man. She noticed the strong family resemblance of Joan to us. She also heard Joan complain loudly to the funeral director that she was “his (my father) daughter and she was not in the death notice. This woman was standing behind Mr. Thomas and saw him write someting long in the guest book. Then he flipped the pages and wrote something else. Then he left the guest book, and she went up to sign her name, and noted the name he had just written – Russell Thomas. She signed her name after his, flipped the pages back to see what else he had written, and was shocked to see the hate message. The next day, after some calling around to other mutual friends to get a current phone number, she called one of us Sippel Sisters and told us what had occurred. This woman would have no reason to lie.
At 6:45pm, when Gert and I found the hate message and scribbled it out – we questioned the funeral director. He told us that “this party,” and he pointed to Joan’s name in the guest book, did behave herself, and he saw for himself, Joan and her daughter standing at the casket. which would mean that their backs were towards the guest book. Joan’s daughter related to me in one facebook private message that she came “alone.” Then in another message she says that she was with her mother and Mr. Thomas and Mr. Thomas was with her at the casket, he never excused himself. This shows me, number 1, a contradiction between the 2 messages, in what she wrote – how can she be “alone,” then with her mother and Mr. Thomas? Number 2, this is a direct contradiction of what the funeral director told us. Number 3, what would Mr. Thomas excusing himself prove anything? Unless Joan’s daughter has eyes in the back of her head, she doens’t know WHAT Mr. Thomas was doing at the guest book.
Now remember, I said how I told Mr. Thomas NOT to contact me via my private email address? Well guess what? He did – on Monday, January 17. so he read my blog about us finding out that he was the one who desecrated our father’s guest book. And he contacts me AGAINST MY DIRECT WISHES AND ORDERS to profess his innocence. HA! And so dam quickly to! Usually the guilty party is the one who very quickly points out that they didnt’ do it. And in his email, Mr. Thomas goes out of his way on how he “honored” my father, a veteran. And how he, (Mr. Thomas) honors those who fought for our country. what’s that got to do with anything? I found that rather strange – why go out of your way to tell me that you honor those who fought for our country? Is that statement relevant to the topic? I also honor our veteran’s – I don’t bring it up in this blog – because IT IS NOT RELEVANT TO THE TOPIC AT HAND! and as for “honoring” my father – how was Mr. Thomas honoring him in his comment on this blog that he had a “problem?” Mr. Thomas then says that I haven’t seen his (Mr. Thomas’) “nice” side. So in that he admits he has been showing me his evil side. Excuse me, buddy – I am not interested in seeing any of your sides, because you just caught in a contradiction, and in bringing up veterans, you are sucking up to me because my husband is a former Navy Seal. In fact, when I told my husband what Mr. Thomas wrote in his email, he said, “he’s running scared.” That’s right – you should be scared Mr. Thomas. After what you wrote in my father’s guest book, you deserve a good beat down. And if you EVER come near me, I won’t need my husband, – if you lay a hand on me, I will take care of you myself. And don’t think for a minute that I’m not capable of it.
And where is Joan’s anger at what was written in my father’s guest book? It was a desecration of my father and my mother – Joan’s birth parents! The message invoked the names of my mother’s brothers – 4 dead men and one living man, who at the time of the forging of his name in the book, was in Florida. Joan has not ONCE acknowledged or condemned this desecration aimed at her birth parents. WHY NOT JOAN? But she sure was angry enough to have been omitted in the first newspaper death notice that she went out of her way to call the newspaper and have another death notice printed. BUT SAYS NOTHING TO DEFEND HER FATHER – THE ONE SHE WAS ARGUING WITH THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR THAT SHE WAS HIS DAUGHTER AND CALLS THE NEWSPAPER! Ah, yes, actions do indeed speak louder than words. She can complain that she wasn’t notifed that her birth father had died. She can complain that she got left out of the death notice, but she can’t complain that somebody desecrated her birth father’s guest book?
In the past, Joan has gone on internet forums and spoken on how she is facing the impending death of 3 parents. Her adoptive mother, her birth father, and her stepmother (wife of her birth father). I know of at least three times she had addressed this issue. And again, on January 14, 3 days after my father’s death, she goes on the adult adoptee forum and again mentions her adoptive mother’s impending death. But Joan DOES NOT MENTION THAT HER BIRTH FATHER HAD JUST DIED 3 DAYS BEFORE! (correction – it was January 18, 2011, that Joan was on the forum, not the 14th. – rp.).
Why not? The 14th was the day that her birth father was laid out in the funeral home and she was granted a private time to say goodbye. Her thoughts were supposed to be on how her birth father had died. the man who gave her life was dead, and instead of grieving, she’s on the dam internet responding to a request for adoption research. Oh, but just 10 days before, she just HAD to go to him to apologize? BULLSHIT! She was busy on January 14, all right,concoting the message that she wanted Mr. Thomas to write in the guest book. (correction – it was January 18, 2011, that Joan was on the forum, not the 14th. But I still have to wonder where her mind was on the 14th that she would allow such a desecration to take place. – rp.).
And the reason she wrote it, or rather got someone else to do her dirty work, is because she was pissed that the entire family barred her from the funeral and the church service. She wanted to hurt my stepmother, my sisters, and me. But no, she didn’t hurt us, all she accomplished was to give us another opportunity to show the entire world what she is all about – a spoiled little bitch. An evil bitch at that.
Joan is also too busy with another project to have the time to publicly acknowledge the death of her birth father (and watch – AFTER she reads this blog post – is when she will write a stupid blog post “honoring” him). What is Joan busy with? Trolling relatives of my mother’s facebook pages and sending friend requests to people that don’t even know her! umm, Joan, that is called cyber-stalking, and isn’t that what YOU keep accusing US of doing? Two faced hypocrite Joan Wheeler shows the world what an ass she is – yet again!
Now that my father is buried, again, I ask Joan: WHERE IS YOUR INDIGNATION OVER THE DESECRATION OF YOUR BIRTH PARENTS?
She doesn’t even step forward to defend her buddy, her puppet, Russell Thomas. Why not? Because SHE KNOWS HE DID IT AT HER REQUEST!
And now the whole world knows it too. Joan Mary Wheeler and Russell D. Thomas – YOU will be the ones rotting in hell forever. You are already rotting in this life – you two lowdown scums deserve each other. Pigs, swine. filthy pigs. I’d spit on you, but I don’t want to sully even my spit. I don’t want my spit or even any other body waste fluid of mine contaminated with the touch of you two disgusting bitchs. You are an abuser of the elderly Joan – you struck your own elderly mother, harassed my elderly former foster mother, harassed my elderly father on his death bed, harassed his widow via phone after she lost her husband,– Joan Wheeler – GO TO HELL AND ROT!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, cyberbullying, desecration, dishonesty, Disrespect, disrespect of a deceased person, forgery, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, theft, whining
Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – part 2
January 17, 2011 – 7:30am by Ruth Sippel Pace
First and foremost – if any comments are placed on your website, they are not and will not be from any or all of the Three Sippel Sisters. If any comments are placed and signed with the name of Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis or Gertrude McQueen, they are not from us. If any email address is attributed to these named persons, then someone has fraudulently opened an email address using or name(s) WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION. If you, Joan Wheeler have any complaint about any person leaving comments on your website, then by all means, excercise your right to call a law enforcement entity and have the IP address and email address investigated. Just because you voluntarily adjusted your website’s security and privacy settings, doesn’t mean that these things cannot be traced. Don’t whine and complain, make a formal charge. Put up or shut up. And Joan – when it has been found that it was YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND impersonating me or my sisters – it will be YOU and Russell D. Thomas up on identity theft charges – so you better think twice before you start something you can’t finish. Every keystroke can be tracked – every email and every IP and computer signature code can be traced.
Second, as long as MY name is mentioned on a website, I claim the right to visit that website. It is MY legal name, not yours Joan, and I claim the right to see and read and know what is being said about me and my name. If you have any objection to me reading your website, then remove my name from your website. And this goes for my other sisters. Is your website not for the purpose of adoption reform? As I have no interest or contribution to this topic, WHY IS MY NAME ON A WEBSITE DEVOTED FOR ADOPTION REFORM? This also applies to my sisters.
Third, if your readers want a “bloodbath” that is not my concern. That is between you and your readers.
Fourth, re: your warning to me and my sisters to “stay away from you.” Excuse me, I am not near you. Don’t want to be near you. Nor do my sisters.
Fifth, if your mother is dying, that does not concern me. Nor does it concern my sisters.
Sixth, when you yell “my mother is dying, for god’s sake, leave me alone.”
Please state exactly what you think we did to bother you. Again, we have not called you, nor have come to your house, or gone to any health care facility that your mother is at. Nor have we written any letters to you. And I wouldn’t invoke god’s name if I were you.
Seventh, do you mean leave YOU alone, like YOU harassed US the other day when OUR father lay in his casket and you permitted your sleaze boyfriend to desecrate our father’s guest book and sign it with the names of four dead men and one man who was hundreds of miles away when his name was forged by your sleaze boyfriend? Won’t the police be interested in hearing about that!
I really think you need to get on some medication.
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, desecration, Disrespect, elder abuse, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, golddigger, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, scam artist, taking advantage of the sick and dying, theft
My father, wrote his own obituary and death notice for the newspaper.
Joan M. Wheeler took it upon herself to self-publish a new death notice on January 16 in the Buffalo News.
Joan is NOT a legal daughter, nor beloved daughter to Leonard Sippel.
She is scam artist and elder abuser. she is gold-digger. In 1989-1990, she scammed me and stole hundreds of dollars from me. She slanders and libels me in her book and on the internet and in person.
She insulted my father two years ago and he physically had to remove her from his house. On or about November 15, 2010, my father told me “I am done with her. I don’t want to see her.”
On January 3, 2011, he was admitted to Millard Fillmore Suburban Hospital with pneumonia. On January 4, 2011, Joan entered my father’s unlocked apartment, (open to admit Meals on Wheels) and with her stocky boyfriend, got information out of my elderly stepmother who is frail and on permenant oxygen. then Joan and her boyfreind went to the hospital to harass my father. Supposedly Joan apologized to him and Joan’s boyfriend “thinks” (his words to me in an email) that my father forgave Joan. then the boyfreind says “if he didn’t forgive her, that’s his problem.”
My father, 86 years old, in a weakened state, should not have to “forgive” anyone. He was days from his death and Joan brings her guilty conscience to a weak and dying man. Because of this despiscable abuse of a sick and elderly person, Joan Wheeler was barred from the funeral. She was granted a private viewing so she could have time with her male parent. Then in a further evil act, her boyfriend desecrated my father’s guest book with a hate message, signed by “The Herrs.”
This act was witnessed by another guest at the funeral home. She was “frightened” by the man who wrote the hate message.
I, Ruth Sippel Pace, do file this note on public internet this day of January 16, 2010, 2:26am. I initially did not want to acknowledge the hate crime of the man (yes I know his name).
Joan Wheeler, and your boyfriend, Mr. R. T. – you are to stay away from the Sippel Family. If you are seen near us, the police will be called and you will both be charged with harassment.
And no, you did not create any atmosphere of hate between the Ansermin/Sippel family and the Herrs. All members of the Ansermin family, Sippel family, and Herr family are decent loving folk and are not fooled into a war – which is what Joan and her boyfriend want. To desecrate a guest book at a funeral home is the lowest thing a person can do. And then he emails me and preaches. You are found out Mr. R. T. and law enforcement will be notified
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bigotry, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
first part from Gert McQueen, second part from Ruth Sippel Pace
I, Kathy Inglis, concur with what my two sisters say here.
from Gert
To Joan Wheeler, warning, take this very seriously…YOU ARE TO STAY AWAY FROM OUR AGED FATHER AND STEPMOTHER…by order of EVERY member of our family.
You are NOT to go to our father’s home, you are not welcomed there. Our father and his wife do not want you to call on the phone or knock on their door. You are not to go to any hospital where either of them may be for any reason…you are not allowed in their presence.
If you go again, like you did on Tuesday Jan 4, 2011 sometime between the hours of 11am and 6pm, the police shall be called to have you removed and charged with harassment and taking advantage of sick and weak elders.
Your adoptive mother’s end stage of her life is next to nothing of consequences to our father and his wife and the rest of our family. If you, Joan, are dreading the death of your adoptive mother and ‘want to make peace with dad’ that is YOUR PROBLEM, not theirs! They and everyone else gave you almost 37 years of chances to make peace. You had your chances and you blow them, not once, but many many times…And after you published this rotten disgusting piece of shit against every family member you have the gull to ask to ‘make peace with dad’!!
How many times do you need to insult Dad and get kicked out before you GET IT? You want to ‘make peace with dad’! Do you mean -peace like in what you did and said in your book…spring of 2008 pg 553 – 556 and Feb 2009 pgs 557 – 559. Is that the kind of ‘make peace with dad’ bullshit that you want now!! (Ruth’s note – see explanation just below)
You, Joan, are a lying piece of sick shit! And if you come near MY FATHER again the police shall be called. Get it! I hope so, for your sake!
Go and deal with your adoptive mother’s dying and what will be left of your pathetic life when she is gone, because you ‘are dreading her death…dreading it’!
Your life is what you made it, now go and live your life with the demons that you wrought and leave us alone!
Ruth’s note: to clarify to what Gert is alluding to – what Joan wrote in her filthy book -
A few years ago, after my father had open heart surgery, Joan VOLUNTEERED to take my elderly father and my elderly stepmother to their doctor appointments. A couple years later, Joan DEMANDED gas money from my father, then DEMANDED he chip in for car repairs. When he refused to be held to financial and emotional blackmail, Joan goes home and tells her mother, who trashed my father for HER past financial decisions. THEN Joan writes about this shit in her book. Yet towards the front of the book has the nerve to quote the fourth commandment “honor thy mother and thy father.” And you know what the beef Joan’s mother had? Because when she adopted Joan in 1956, she had to give up her job to take care of an infant. BUT when Joan was older – did she she go out and get another job? NO! So she sits and whines that MY father had the benefit of a working wife (but not until 1972 Dorothy, like your daughter – you don’t get your facts straight). So this bitch is putting MY father down, and Joan puts it in her book. Dorothy also is bitching that SHE raised his daughter and now HE owes her! Excuse me, bitch when you signed the adoption papers YOU became the legal parent and guardian of that child. If you didn’t want to accept the financial responsibility of that child you should not have adopted her. BUT guess what folks? Edward Wheeler worked at Dunlop tires, making a pretty good penny! AND the Wheelers owned their own house in the suburbs AND had TWO MORE RENTAL PROPERTIES! It is not MY father’s problem that the Wheelers did not do a better job planning for their financial future. And that includes Joan. She should have been working all this time and putting money into a retirement fund instead of blowing all her money on bullshit. – and I have lot more to say on that subject in future installments of this blog.
Joan pulled that shit on me back in 1990 – I fronted the down payment and lawyer’s fees for real estate, in a joint checking account – to be used for closing costs, expenses for real estate, but Joan withdrew money without my permission (stealing) for HER living expenses. That was not what I agreed to loan the money to her for. Bitch. The money was to buy an apartment building NOT for Joan to live off. and she even says in the book “the money disappeared.” Disappeared? MY money disappeared? She was withdrawing small amounts to buy hamburgers in the mall (and she had the nerve to “treat” me to one), paying her cable bill with premium channels like HBO while John and I had only basic cable – Joan living high on MY money! SCAM ARTIST! I do not work to support Joan or her kids. And her husband was withdrawing money to blow at a strip joint. Then caused their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby – thieves, scums, deadbeats, liars – but can go to rock concerts, but don’t pay the electric bill, when they got toddlers at home – blow Ruth’s money on shit and act all surprised when Ruth gets mad.
So I was out almost $900.00 and Joan wonders why I’m mad – and 20 years later, she tries to pull the same scam on my father! And my father knew what Joan did to me and put his foot down and wasn’t about to be fooled by Joan’s tears. So for revenge – she trashes my father in her book.
This is Joan’s way of honoring my father – holds him hostage to her and her mother’s lifetime of bad financial planning and spending habits, then further dishonors him by putting that shit in her book. And of course while she writes about this shit, she automatically HAS to include a dig against me. Because I didn’t drive my dad around – and she did. Well, I have a JOB, Joan doesn’t. I work the night shift and sleep in the day. And I had another post open heart surgery person to take care – my husband. He had his surgery 3 months before my father. And I had to put in overtime to make up for his lost income. did Joan ASK me why I wasn’t taking my dad to the doctor? NO – she doesn’t do any dam research for her book – but just includes her flawed INTERPRETATIONS of someone’s actions and passes them off as a truth in her lying book. – and she trashed my younger brother because he owned a motorcycle, not a car, so he couldn’t take my dad to the doctor. So SAINT Joan is taking my dad to the doctor and oh boo-hooo, she gets no gratitude, SAINT Joan is sooo good and pure and the rest of the family aren’t taking him to the doctor – oh puh-leaze! How does someone dare to demand money from an elderly person after VOLUNTEERING to drive them? You can make arrangements with them – by saying, “I have the time to take you to the doctor or shopping, but I’ll need help with the gas money.” No problem with that! But to DEMAND money? NO, that’s stepping over the line. btw, my Dad offered to pay for MY speeding ticke in 2003, when I was on the way to his house when he asked me to take him shopping once. I said “No, it was MY foot on the gas pedal, not yours.” It’s called personal responsibility Joan – and I see you still haven’t learned that – you didn’t learn a dam thing after you scammed me and then you try to scam an elderly person – you’re an elder abuser – you slapped your elderly mother once – but you aren’t going to do that to MY father.
GETTING BACK TO THE NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER TO STAY AWAY FROM OUR FATHER!
I, Ruth Sippel Pace, being of sound mind and body, and being the LEGAL daughter of Leonard J. Sippel Sr. concur with Gert McQueen’s demands above. Also, J.R., our step-sister-turned LEGAL sister through adoption, and the LEGAL and biological daughter of Gi. S., hold Power of Attorney and she made it clear to Gert via telephone January 6, 2011 that she does not want Joan Wheeler near her parents. Also at that time, G. S. told Gert via tselephone that she does not want Joan near her or her husband. I concur with her wishes.
Also, on or about November 15, 2010 my father called me on the phone to invite me to a family function. I asked him if Joan would there, and he said “No.” Then he added emphatically, “I am done with her. I don’t want to see her again.”
The reason: because of the last conversation she had with my father sometime in 2009, where Joan told my father to his face that she does not like people of Polish descent or Catholics. My father is of Polish descent. His mother’s parents emigrated from Poland. Our family is Roman Catholic, some members have converted to other religions, but those of us who have, still have great respect for the Roman Catholic Church.
Joan, in her own hand-written description of her trash book Forbidden Family says “….she (Joan) had to be silenced.” Alluding to people always telling her to shut up about adoption.
No, Joan doesn’t GET IT! She has not been told shut up about adoption, she has been told to shut up PERIOD! Joan suffers from diarrhea of the mouth. Once she gets started, she can’t stop. She also suffers from chronic gross exageration! If an actual event took 5 minutes, Joan reports it as 20 minutes. If she received ONE phone call, she reports it as 10.
Joan has never learned SELF-CONTROL. She cannot control her mouth. I have had philosophical and theological debates with my father, so has Gert, but we learned to do it in a respectful manner, and not insult my father’s mother or his birthright religion. Joan goes on the Adult Adoptees forum and fairly revels in the fact that she left an insulting comment on somebody else’s internet post. There are several instances in the book where she does the same thing. She insults people, then sits back and laughs at herself, and pats herself on the back for her bad manners. She doesn’t care that what she said in person or in the book or on the internet may HURT another human being! In fact, she ENJOYS hurting other human beings. She is a straight-up bitch.
I have been personally hurt by Joan in person, by her lies about me in the book and her lies about me on the internet. I have been hurt to read my family being trashed in print in her book and on the internet.
So she insults and hurts my father’s feelings in 2009, and now all of a sudden, in January 2011, she comes running to my father’s house. Why? Because she is dreading the fact that her adoptive mother may leave this world? What does that have to do with my father?
Did Joan go to my father’s house to apologize for what she said in 2009? I doubt it. She has had almost 2 years to do so. She even wrote about it in her book, just prior to it’s publication in November 2009. She “explained” what she meant that by the anti-Polish remark, she was saying about the unique Polish descendants living in Buffalo and their accent. BUT she still insults THEM by implying that the accent denotes stupidity.
For those who don’t know of this accent, watch the 1993 Harrison Ford movie The Fugitive, where he is renting a basement apartment from a Polish lady. She may be in Chicago, but it is the same as in Buffalo. The actress doesn’t appear stupid to me. And neither do many of the Polish people that I know personally in Buffalo.
But we see that Joan is a bigot! It’s one thing to have a light-hearted laugh about an immigrant’s accent, as in the movie The Christmas Story, where the Chinese waiters are trying to sing the song Deck the Halls. Because there is no “L” in the Chinese language, when they try to say the L sound, it comes out as R. The scene in the movie does not depict the Chinese people as stupid, but caring people when you see them rush to feed their patrons.
This is where Joan fails in her conversational style. She is a bigot. She is judgemental. She wants to voice HER opinion. And if you disagree with her – you are worthless to her.
THIS is why we have all tried to tell her to WATCH WHAT YOU SAY JOAN. Because with her diarrhea of the mouth, she HURTS other people’s feelings. And after having their feelings hurt, several times, a person is just going to say “the hell with you, get away from me.”
Then Joan is left holding the bag and WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT IT IS HER OWN ACTIONS AND WORDS THAT HAVE CAUSED PEOPLE TO RUN THE HELL AWAY FROM HER AND BAN HER FROM THEIR HOUSE! ~~ addendum – January 9, 2011 ~~ and I, Ruth Pace am sick and tired of always being blamed for everything in Joan’s life. When a person who has had enough of Joan’s insults, does say “the hell with you (Joan), get away from me,” Joan automatically blames ME. Even if I hadn’t seen the person or spoke to them in 15 years! I have had enough! Whatever negative activity that happens in Joan’s life is NOT always RUTH’S fault. got that Joan – I simply do NOT have such a huge influence on YOUR life. I live my OWN life – go live yours and LEAVE ME OUT OF YOURS!
It is perfectly clear that Joan is NOT WANTED by any person in the Sippel family. Joan has hammered coffin nails into her relationships with the Sippel Family for years. The last hammering was the publication of that lying filthy book.
Now stand up and be a Woman – accept the consequences of your own dam actions Joan. You brought this shit on yourself.
1. Ruth – January 9, 2011
my father is generous – when John and I had financial difficulties, we asked him for help – and got it. AND made the attempt to repay him, which he refused to take – “you need the money more than me.”
Joan didn’t ask – she DEMANDED money. …then her mother trashes my father – and Joan puts it in her book. NOW she wants to get in good with my Dad? Why? Because she probably needs money!
2. Gert – January 10, 2011
from Gert
What Joan falls to understand is that events in other peoples’ lives are NOT about her…it’s about THEM.
Joan’s adopted mother’s life and death process is NOT about Joan…and Joan’s feelings about that woman and Joan’s fears about that woman’s death is NOT anyone’s issues…those are JOAN’S and she ought to take ownership of them and stop laying it on other people’s feet.
My father’s life is NOT about Joan, it is about HIM.
As with anyone else, when he is ill or weak or in the any reminding stage of HIS life…it is STILL ABOUT HIM and it is never about Joan. Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else particularly my father.
When a person reaches advnced age or is on their death bed, the LAST THING they need is to have some mentally disturbed person, JOAN, begging, whinning, lying, crying, being hysterical, and asking to make peace.
3. Ruth – January 10, 2011
I like what Gert says here: “Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else…”
If Joan had kept a close and caring relationship with ANY of her birth family (or adoptive family or friends), than Joan would HAVE a support system – someone she could call at any time of the day or night and cry on their shoulder when a crises comes up. I know that I do. I have two very close loving people that I have known since 1978 – my best woman-friend and my other best friend – my husband. I have close friendships with people on my job – that thru the years have proven to have my back. I have relatives, some that I haven’t seen for years, but through the new phenomena of social networks like facebook, we have re-connected. One, just left a one word description of me (a little game being played on facebook). She described me as “beloved.” Even tho I haven’t seen her for about 30 years!
Why does Joan not have this kind of support system? Because she pushes everyone in her life AWAY from her with her bullshit and her insulting ways. As I said above – after a while, people get fed up with her, say “the hell with you” and they run away from her. Joan flatters herself too much in thinking that The Three Sippel Sisters, whether individually or collectively are “bad-mouthing” her left and right to EVERY single person that Joan knows. Because we just don’t have the time for that – I have a job, Gert and Kathy may be retired, but they are busy with their varied interests.
The problem with Joan (well ONE problem) is that she REFUSES to be an ADULT who takes responsibility for her own life! Everything bad in her life is NEVER because JOAN did something, but rather it is because Joan keeps BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR IT. And that someone else, in Joan’s deluded mind is usually Ruth. As if I know all the people in her life. And even if I do, I am NOT on the phone 24/7 gossiping about Joan!
Joan, it has ALWAYS been YOU and YOU ALONE who have managed to turn one person after another against you – you give me too much credit that it has been MY fault that your friends have turned against you, your husband and other boyfriends have turned against you, relatives have turned against you. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO MY LIFE! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! I HATE EVEN THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME! The only reason this blog is up and I am doing this now – is because you published that trash book that DISHONORED MY father, as well as me, and my WHOLE FAMILY! YOU wrote the lies in the book – YOU insulted my father’s mother – my grandmother – YOU insulted the Catholic Church, to which generations of MY ancestors and my father’s ancestors have belonged! RUTH didn’t write the book. JOAN did. RUTH didn’t insult people of Polish heritage – JOAN did. RUTH did not trash the Catholic Church – JOAN did.
YOU JOAN, AND YOU ALONE OWN YOUR LIFE. NOW TAKE IT AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE SIPPEL FAMILY! Goodbye!
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
2. 
