Reality is Truth. But all Joan Wheeler knows is self-delusions, fantasies, and lies July 15, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, delusional thinking, elder abuse, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, trying to pass fantasy off as truth, twisting the truth to make an innocent person appear guilty, verbal abuse
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by Ruth Pace
I was listening to an old motivational tape of mine and stumbled upon the following. It is from a tape that I had labeled “Living Without Limits.” I didn’t write down the speaker’s name, but I think it might be Dr. Wayne Dyer. I transcribed the part of the lecture that I thought is very pertinent to this problematic person Joan Wheeler, who doesn’t seem to differentiate between reality/truth and fantasy/lies. Here is the transciption of the lecture:
And now for the first component of living without limits which could very well be described as the foundation for survival itself, and that is, REALITY.
Now what exactly do I mean by reality? I don’t want to be misunderstood here. Well my definition of reality is very simple and straightforward. Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be or the way they appear to be but the way they actually are.
Now by the way you wish things to be, I’m referring to the constant struggle that takes place within each of us between the real and the ideal. Between reality and what we would like reality to be. And it’s absolutely imperative that you learn to differentiate between the two.
Reality is Truth. And unfortunately the real problem is that most people do not love Truth. But instead they try to make true that which they love. They have it backwards.
As Robert De Ropp says in his fascinating book “The Master Game,” “Man inhabits a world of delusions. And because of these delusions, makes dangers for himself and others.”
Reminds me of Ashleigh Brilliant, the great humorist, some of you may be familiar with, who once remarked, “I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.”
Seriously, I totally agree with DeRopp, I think self-delusion is probably the chief cause of most unhappiness in the world today.
In my comment to my last post, I refer to Joan’s cyberbullying page, where she has posted lies about me and my sisters. Some of them twisting of the facts. For example she has posted on that site, that I got her phone number from my father – yes I did. On November 3, 2009 – because my then 85 year old father was tired and I calledJoan AS A FAVOR to tell her that a family member died. On the phone Joan subjected me to a barrage of yelling obscentities that even her daughter (who in an email exchange via myspace the next day, came running down the stairs to see what her mother was screaming about).
So here is some info: “Doris Ohl was born June 05, 1919 in Buffalo, Erie, NY, and died October 31, 2009 in Silver Creek, NY. She married (1) Michael W. Herr in Buffalo, Erie, NY, son of Jacob Grant Herr and Gertrude H. Stoll. She married (2) Lou LoManto.”
Doris and Michael were Joan’s original godparents, and Joan Wheeler’s original name was Doris Michol Sippel. (None of this information is private, Joan plasters this all over the internet, and the info on Doris was taken from an online internet family tree.
Addendum: July 16, 3:00am, ok, I was doing research – do you know that hotmail saves EVERY email you send? So I found the original email from my Uncle. –
From: To: Subject: RE: Aunt Doris
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 08:39:56 +0000
Hi Uncle Rich
thank you forwarding this to me. Can you send me Wayne’s email so I can send him my condolences?
Everything is going fine. I had a small vacation, which I used for housework. lol. all the stuff you never seem to get to, like getting behind furniture and degreasing cabinets. Also had to clean out the utility room. got a new washing machine, the old one went kaput. I found some missing socks amidst the dust bunnys back there. lol.
Love
Ruth
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 08:33:33 -0500
From: To: Subject: Fw: Aunt Doris
Received this from Wayne about his Mother (Uncle Mikes first Wife.)
Dad, Opa and Uncle Rich
—–Forwarded Message—–
From: Wayne D Herr
Sent: Nov 1, 2009 7:57 AM
To: silverdick1 .. judy , Richard Herr
Subject:
We spent a very hard week this week, but last night @ 9:45pm Mom pasted after a very hard week for her. I believe she is happy now, she was ready. Eileen and I were with her so she did not have to die alone. This past sunday she told me she was going to see Edmund and she might even talk to Michael. Thank you for your prayers.
LoveWayne
———————————————————————–
Joan’s self-delusions and the facts are that Joan cannot accept the REALITY and the TRUTH that her “mean and nasty” sister Ruth couldn’t possibly call her on the phone for the simple reason of doing her father (and Joan) a FAVOR. Further, she cannot STAND for the TRUTH of the phone call to be made public. Instead, Joan twists the FACTS of the event of November 3, 2009 and reports it on the internet that I called her as an act of harassment.
The phone call was made by ME, around 5pm. Later that evening, around 10pm, I emailed my niece, Joan’s daughter via myspace. We were myspace buddies and facebook buddies at the time. Here is the transcription of the email exchange between her and me, and the graphics are the actual screen shots of that exchange that I captured on July 14, 2011. I also have included a screen shot of Joan’s blog (also captured on July 14, 2011, that shows Joan’s version of the phone call. Notice she says really nothing about the phone call. Because deep down, she knows the TRUTH about that phone call – that I obtained the phone number from a tired 85 year old man, as A FAVOR TO BOTH HIM AND JOAN to let Joan know that her original godmother and namesake had died. AND Joan fails to tell everyone HER subsequent actions! After screaming obscenities at me, subjecting me to verbal emotional abuse, she then called my father and SCREAMED AT HIM – AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN, WHO WAS NOT FEELING WELL THAT DAY! That is called ELDER ABUSE! And of course, Joan doesn’t tell what happened when SHE made an abusive phone call to an elderly man – that the call was terminated when the tired elderly man HUNG UP ON HER!
So why isn’t the COMPLETE TRUTH about that phone call of November 3, 2009 published on Joan’s blog? Because she doesn’t want to tell the truth – she always presents HER twisted version of the truth – she wants people to think that I, Ruth Pace am a bitch, and all I do is harass her by getting her phone number from relatives and call her up and bother her. But Joan can whine on a forum that when another relative died, she wasn’t notified – well, because when she was notified of a relative’s passing, she went all f’ing crazy! Who does Joan thinks she is? That she can treat people like dirt and they have to accept it? This is why Joan is an outsider – she has no family – either birth or adoptive – BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS TREATED US LIKE DIRT.
So here is the transcript of the myspace email:
Nov 3, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit… (@myspacecom) I got an email, (from a relative)that my Uncle Mike’s first wife Doris died on Saturday, Oct. 31. Uncle Mike and Aunt Doris were your mom’s original godparents and she was named for them (Doris Michol).
so I thought she should know about it. I called the old number but it was disconnected so I called my father and he gave me your mom’s number. So I called her. She asked how I got the number. I told her. She said “Big mistake.” then she said she didn’t want any contact from me. Fair enough I thought. She was calm at this point, but then she said tersely, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris, but I do not want to hear from you. My mother is dying.” (I have heard this, and I felt bad, I thought, shit, this is bad getting bad news now and all.
But then you mom said, “She (her mom) does not want to hear from you.” (I was not calling for her). Then your mom started screaming about her sisters. She said that I threw her out of the family.
Cathy, I just sat there staring at my computer screen. I was in shock. She was screaming so hard I could not understand what she was saying. I did hear “you are not my sister.” She was ranting and raving. I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. All I did was call her to tell her that her godmother had died. I got angry. I did not call to make trouble. I swear to you Cathy. I did not. I swear on the soul of my unborn son that I lost in 1985. I did not call to make trouble, but dammit, why should I be subjected to her verbal abuse? So I said “You know what? You’re right. You’re not my sister. You don’t know how to behave like a sister. so fuck you.” and then I hung up.
Cathy, I was so upset. I wanted to go to my dad’s house. I left my house with my washing machine running. I only grabbed a sweater and my keys. I was still in my slippers. I was crying so hard then when I was on Genesee St. I couldn’t see. I stopped at my cousin’s house and she calmed me down. I went on to my Dad’s. In the meantime, she had called him and when she started screaming at him, he hung up on her.
He had told me a couple of weeks before that he had thrown her out of his house because she was whining again about no money. He told her to get a job, like we have all been telling her for the past 25 years. She said she didn’t like Polish people. Well his mother came from Poland and we are all part Polish, so what the heck? She wanted money from him to fix her car.
When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.”
Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?
I swear to you Cathy, your mom needs a psych consult. My father said she is mentally ill, and I see that. I am sorry to tell you this, but I believe it. All she had to say was, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris. Goodby.”
there was no reason for her to off on me like she did, or call the cops on me. If she hauls me into court for harassment, all she is going to get is a psych consult. Because I will insist on it. She threatened my life once before. The district attorney knows this.
I am not going to write to you again about this. I just wanted you to know what went down. I undertstand that she is your mother and you love her.
But geez, she is my little sister, I love her too. Why the hell would I have called to tell her about Aunt Doris? I can’t stand this anymore. I’m done. I didn’t call her to make trouble I swear. I won’t make the same mistake again. (Ruth’s note, July 15, 2011 – This was all written on November 3, 2009, just a couple of weeks before Joan’s book was published. Notice how I tell my neice that Joan is “my little sister and I love her.” Because why would I have been crying like that from getting abuse from someone whom I loved? BUT when I read that horrible book – when I saw how almost every page was lie and hate against me over and over and her disgusting things she said about my mother’s deadbody my heart turned to stone against her. Yes, after 30 years of crap from her, there was still love there, but no longer. And Joan did all to herself. Yes, I mention my son that I lost – June 1985, Saied Ali, my heart. After years of trying to concieve, and I lost my only child. And Joan was there – she drove me home from the hospital – and in her book, she makes a mockery of my miscarriage. My only child – my baby, and Joan mocked his loss. – That is why any remaining love I had for Joan left me when I read that filthy book). now, back to the original email of Nov. 3, 2009″
ps I already shredded the piece of paper that I wrote her phone number on. I did not memorize it. I swear to you, I will not call her, I will not drive over there. I will not contact her. I am done. I try to do the right thing and all I get is a kick in the teeth AGAIN. no more.
Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
*~*~They call me Cat, Kitty Cat*~*~ saysTo: Ladymoondancer ~
look im sorry bout wat has happened.
i originally wrote a message earlier but then i guess time warner decided to have a hiccup so it never sent, which gave me another chance to write with out being so mad. i am very sorry bout aunt doris’s passing. its too bad yet another person who probably was good has gone. i am sorry that mom did that. i guess my question to u is- y would u think shed wanna hear some one has passed, coming from u?…..u know better.lol. as to how she feels and how u feel. i think it best to stay clear of us. i would not tempt her. i know u said u wipe ur hands of her. not to sound like a bitch- but it would be best. i hope this means Kathy and Gertrude too. no contact with her at all. no smart things from her blogs or anykind of publication she has. she has it in her head u all are like gonna do ur best to hurt her….which if u r i have to say- so not cool……anyways, i understand u all r getting old, but my mom has good reason to think none of u wont try anything- the wheeler’s r fucking nuts!…well u sippels are a piece of work too….lol… i want to make it clear that none of u will not come into contact with my mom, my brother, or my nana- none of them want it or can handle it. as for me. if either of the other 2 wanna have any contact- they will have to ask u to write me a message via myspace. i do not want any disturbances from anyone- i want my own life. i deserve it. i wanted things to go different- i hoped everyone would get over everything so that when times like these came- we’d all be civil. i was surely wrong. mom just has alot of hurt. not saying none of u dont, but i see it of course more form her. if any one else passes- let maryelle or joselyn contact mom. gpa sippel should have known better not to give my moms number out to anyone. so yea- i was there kind of when u called. i was taking a shower- and thought something was wrong. she was crying and yelling that u had called. i got mad and thought- here we go again. i told her i didnt give a crap bout watever happened between u 2. but yea she was very distrought. so please- fo my sake- no more contact, ever- from any of u in any form. leave her alone- let her write her lil things online- its a free country and the internet is free- i mean we allow freaky ass porn!- let her do her shit in peace. let her, my brother and my nana be in peace. and im sorry for the way everything went down. it was a fragile time for everyone and i am sorry. i wish i knew this doris woman, she must have been a good woman. and please- no response to this other than- telling me that u will keep ur promise and tell the other 2 to stay away from us. thanks, and sorry again.
Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit…
o(k I hear ya.
I agree with you that it was not a smart thing to call. but as I said, I only wanted to let her know about Aunt Doris.
but you know, you are a little unfair. you say steer clear of Dennis and your Nana. I understand you are only looking out for your family. I am not looking to call them. Neither is Gert or Kathy.
As for your mom’s blog, well, yeah, it’s a free country and all, like you say, so why is it, that only the sippels must censor themselves? Your mom can go on and on and say this and that about us. but the minute we say ANYTHING, it’s always, “don’t do that. it will hurt Joni.”
What about my hurt? Do you think I like being labeled scum of the earth? When all I ever did was set limits? Like telling your mom and dad, that I will not be disrespected?
Did I ever call somebody’s place of employment for 6 months straight and tell them that they have a thief and a computer hacker working for them? do you know how embarrased I was? do you know how embarrased I was when I met Mayor Anthony Maseilo and he saw my name tag and said, “Ruth Sippel, now where do I know that name from?” from the crazy letters your mom wrote to him. When here I am, at a symposium for block clubs, and passed a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, doing things in local government, only to have the mayor look at me like I’m crazy thanks to your mom.
So I’m supposed to sit back and let this happen to me year after year after year?
Or your mom calling the immigration department in England to scheme to have Kathy deported from there and sent back to Buffalo, when it was always Kathy’s dream to live there. Or how Kathy gets a letter from some college professor in Holland who proceeds to tell Kathy how to live her life because your mom has told him some lies about her.
So we are supposed to get hurt over and over?
And everything was ok for the past few years until your mom goes on the internet on her blog and singles out THE SIPPEL SISTERS. and slanders us.
internet is free speech? ok, so I have the free speech too. It works both ways. and this is something your mom refuses to see.
She wants us to respect our privacy, and not to gossip about her, but she runs into Francine’s brother and then starts telling him about what a bitch I am. And he’s like, hey, I’ve known Ruth since I was 1 year old, and she’s my aunt, and who is this whackjob and then he finally has to tell her to shut up in the middle of the muffler shop and he gets his boss looking at him, and I have to hear it from his other brother.
As for the Sippels being a piece of work, well yep. That’s right. Gert put herself thru school and became a dental hygeinist. Worked for the government. Retired a few years, is now an artist. Kathy scrimped and saved and emigrated to another country, became an accomplished guitarist and school teacher. Me, I have held the same job for 37 years. Am renovating my home. Was a professional dancer for a time. Board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for belly dancers. organized and head up the block club on my street. My brother before he died, worked in a hospital, studied medieval warfare. And all of us are artists and writers. I am head of a local Star Trek fan group.
And all of us have never stolen money from each other, maybe have snipped at snapped at each other, but always came back to hugs and kisses. Never tried to set each other up with the police and the courts. Never been arrested. Never sent false letters telling them that their spouse was unfatithful, never called false child abuse on each other.
As for my father “should have known better to give your mom’s phone number out.”
Why? I told him why I was going to call her. So she got kicked out of his house a few weeks ago? And whose fault is that?
so everything is always the fault of somebody else. Your mom is mentally ill, there is no reasoning with her. I am not out to hurt her. Neither are my sisters. But ask yourself, who is out to hurt whom? Do you think I was just all happy go lucky to open a letter and read my spouse got a women pregnant, and the house was vacant? So it was a lie.
And why did your mom sent me that? to have me say, O I’m so happy to hear this letter. No, the person who is doing the hurting is your mom. And then she gets surprised to find out that nobody likes her. or wants her in their life. and she has only herself to blame.
and now, here’s Joan’s version of that phone call, short and sweet, but all twisted to make it sound that I was harrassing her. Who’s the liar?
1. Gert McQueen – July 15, 2011
Ruth reports in the above post that…
When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.” Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?
Gert here:
When I was told about that phone message, I got the police phone number and officer’s name from Ruth and I call him. He told me that I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY about because that police station, where Joan Wheeler lives, KNOWS ALL ABOUT HER. They recognize her constant calls about harassments and that I ought to just ignore the phone message.
As I told the police, HOW DID two other people, miles and an ocean away from Joan Wheeler get lumped together with another person who made a LEGITMATE phone call? The reason is because Joan Wheeler lumps the three of us together as one unit and believes that we are OUT TO GET HER. The police are FULLY AWARE of Joan’s behavior and mental outlook.
In January of this year, just before our Dad died, Joan had gone unannouced to Dad’s home, where she was told NOT TO GO TO, and she gave a phone number to my step-mother who threw it in the garbage. In other words no body wanted the number. Days later, when the decision was made to call Joan and inform her of Dad’s passing, the question was asked ‘where is Joan’s phone number?’ and the answer was ‘IN THE GARBAGE’. It was fished out in order to phone Joan to inform her of Dad’s death and WHEN she was able to have her personal and private (away from all family members) viewing.
To be perfectly clear…no one WANTS Joan’s number, in fact we all wish she would remove her TWO WEB sites that are slanderous, libelous and full of lies about us and our families and fade into the sunset…
It’s time for Joan Wheeler to get the message…you have lost, give it up already!!
Reply
Ruth – July 15, 2011
Gert is right to point out that in January of 2011, Joan shows up at our father’s house WHERE SHE WAS TOLD NOT TO COME. We see here, Joan’s double standard. She is thrown out of our father’s house late summer 2009, and told never to return – reason? She insulted my father’s blood lineage (and her own – what an idiot) and his religion. (boy I know that one – because she insulted my relgion, AND Gert’s, AND Kathy’s).
ALSO – the day my father died, January 11, 2011, my husband and I rushed to the hospital. There were a total of 8 family members there – and then my brother and his girlfriend came, making a total of 10. While we were saying our goodbyes to Dad, the phone rang – my stepsister answered it, it was Joan. She held the phone at arms length – “what should I tell her?” We all shook our heads – my stepmother said “I don’t want her here.” M. said on the phone, “sorry, you just missed him.” and hung up. 20 minutes later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. “This is Joan Wheeler, can I speak to my father?” I said, “sorry, he’s not available.” Hey – he could have been in x-ray or getting a ct scan! But then Joan starting calling his house and leaving messages AFTER SHE HAD BEEN TOLD NOT TO CALL THE HOUSE!
Gert reported to me later that she went with our stepmother and was sitting at the kitchen table while my stepmother was clearing her messages and on one message Joan says “I will keep calling until I find out about my father.”
Who the hell does she think she is? She was told DON’T CALL. Yet she calls and ADMITS that she will keep calling an elderly woman! This is HARASSMENT and ELDER ABUSE!
And this two-faced bitch gets on the internet and reports that I harassed her when I merely called to tell her that her namesake died? And further calls an elderly man and screams at him for giving me her phone number?
Oh, so let me get this straight – JOAN CAN GIVE OUT ORDERS AND BITCH AND COMPLAIN WHEN SOMEBODY GOES AGAINST THOSE ORDERS! But when Joan is GIVEN the same dam orders, (don’t call) – SHE CAN IGNORE THE ORDERS!
Oh no way Joan honey, you don’t get to be a dam dictator, and tell everyone how to run their lives, and disregard their set boundaries. And then report on the internet how people go against YOUR dictated orders, but don’t report how YOU go against other people’s wishes.
Now you know why people HATE Joan and run the hell away from her!
2. Ruth – July 15, 2011
Here’s an interesting email I just got from Gert – who was reminiscing about Joan and her ways.
“I remember a time when I came to visit Dad, and I took Ginette (our stepmother) shopping and she told me that when Joan would take her shopping Joan would put items in the cart and not until they got to the check out would Joan mention that she put the items in the cart and she didn’t have any money to pay them. Ginette said she never told Dad!! what a slease ball she is….
I remember when she invited us over, when she had her first apartment, and she said she was going to have spagetti and meatball and I have to bring the meat! And ofcourse I did…
Ruth here – yep – this is the kind of shit that Joan has done to us year after year – she’s a scam artist, a thief – her and her ex-husband scammed me out several hundred dollars!
Oh, I know how sweet and lovely and how innocent she can portray herself to be. I am a very intelligent person – I am very computer savvy, I own my house, have worked at my job for going on 39 years, trained to be a union steward, am well respected by my peers and colleagues,and yet got scammed! That is why I’m not too surprised at Jennifer Willett, Pastor Ruth Willert, Mara, Heather, Daisy, Laura, and others who listen to Joan’s whines and all think that I am a bitch and Joan is the saint. — Joan has a way of sugar coating things – and is very very sneaky. She knows that civil, well mannered people are NOT going to make a fuss at the checkout – and my stepmother is no dummy either – She was educated at the Sorbonne University in Paris (French version of Yale or Harvard).
This is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on the misdeeds and the words of the bully called Joan Mary Wheeler.
4. Ruth – July 19, 2011
Just wanted to add a little thing about the myspace email exchange between me and my niece – my niece didn’t respond further.
Because she knew what I said was true, and COULDN’T respond, for all her bravado on saying “the Sippels are a piece of work.” – cute little dig there, I see the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. – But when I said she was unfair and pointed out that yeah, we Sippel siblings have careers and jobs and interests and DON’T mess with people – she couldn’t respond.
And as for her saying in regards to her mother putting stuff on the internet, “let her write her lil things online-” and I tell her NO WAY! Guess she couldn’t respond to that one either!
My stepmother told me in 2004 that my niece had a bit of a mouth on her – oh yeah? humph – she mouthed off all right and when she got put in her place – that was the end of that!
Because yeah, I’M A SIPPEL AND I AM A PIECE OF WORK – A PIECE OF WORK THAT IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!
I do not take slander and libel against me laying down, whether it is in print or on the internet. And no, I will NOT let Joan write her lil things online – because those “lil things” are lies and slander designed to TARNISH MY REPUTATION along with other members of my family.
Bellowing the Truth – We Sippel Sisters are damn good at it! June 30, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lessons in Life, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, Bellowing the Truth, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, embellishing the truth, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hypocrisy, hypocrites, Lies, spreading untruths, stupidity
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by Ruth Sippel Pace
Bellowing the Truth
“He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.” — Charles Peguy
On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change discussion forum is a member who calls herself Daizy. The above quotation by Charles Pequy is Daizy’s “signature,” which gets added to the bottom of every one of her posts.
Now I can’t be 100% sure that this Daizy is the Daisy who left that recent stupid comment here on this blog, daring to lecture me and my sisters about this blog. Daisy says that we should just chalk Joan’s LIES up to being Joan’s “opinion,” and ignore her.
No Way! We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING the truth!
Now if Daizy on the forum and Daisy who left the comment here are the same, she’s got a lot of dam nerve to come here and condemn us for bellowing the truth of OUR LIVES after Joan has LIED about them. Even if Daisy is not Daizy – she still has a lot of nerve telling me that I can’t tell the truth about MY life. Why can’t I Daisy? If Joan can tell a lie about me, I don’t have the right to tell the truth about me? It don’t work that way – and neither Joan nor Daisy is the boss of me.
But I’ve noticed something about Joan and the other adoptees, they want the TRUTH exposed about their birth certificates, their birth families, the circumstances of their conception, their relinquishment to adoption, they DEMAND the truth! However, I see that they only want TRUTH exposed when it suits them. They don’t want anyone else to tell the truth. Sorry guys, just because you got shafted, doesn’t give you the right to turn around and shaft somebody else. Because when you do that – you’re just as bad as the ones who shafted you. You don’t have the right to run roughshod over anybody else in this world – and if you do - be prepared for the consequences of your actions. This blog is the consequence of an adoptee’s action – because Joan Wheeler, decided that SHE got shafted when she was adopted, she would now shove the shaft through her birth sisters. No way baby!
This whole blog has been condemned by the adoptees! Why? Because we dare to tell the truth about something we know very well about – our own dam lives! But it’s okay for Joan to tell LIES about our lives? Hey – adoptees – I’m talking to YOU guys – why is it okay in your (ahem) book for Joan Wheeler to tell lies, but it’s NOT okay for US to tell the truth?? Not that I give a dam about you guys – I don’t NEED your permission to write about MY own life!
This blog is about us sisters standing up to a lying bully – and shedding light on her lies and misdeeds. And if Joan or anyone else don’t like that – well that’s just too dam bad.
We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING OUR TRUTH.
1. Gert McQueen – June 30, 2011
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie “A Few Good Men”…
‘you want the truth?…you CAN’T handle the truth! because it scares you to KNOW the truth…
Mahatma Gandhi said:
Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
A ancient Anglo-Teutonic wisdom says:
You are your Deeds, the only thing that will remain,
when you die, is your reputation.
think about it!
That is why we sisters tell the truth!
Daisy has Commented – and Ruth answers! June 28, 2011
Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
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On June 22, Daisy says this:
I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.
And on June 28, I say this in reply:
Daisy – you need to READ the blog AND Joan’s book before you comment – it is JOAN who needs psychiatric help. She says in her book that I, Ruth have an arrest record and a criminal record, when I do not. THAT is NOT her opinion, that is slander and libel. And I have every right to answer her lies.
As to scary – scary is when someone (Joan) gets on discussion forums (The Huffington Post) and says that I was sexually molested by my grandfather when I was child. When I was not. (amendment – explanation, June 29, 2011, 3:30 pm). This was in March 2011. and NO, I was not sexually abused as a child. And if I were – how does Joan DARE to put that on the internet? Within a half an hour of Joan posting it – a complaint was sent to Huffington Post, Joan’s comment was removed, her account canceled. Now talk to me of scary Daisy – Joan needs to apologize to every victim of child sexual abuse, because instead of taking that horrendous crime seriously, she USED it as a weapon against me and my sisters. And on top of that – someone of her own family suffered through that crime – and Joan knows it – she was there – caring for the victim. To turn that pain around and USE it to try to hurt her sisters - Now tell me who needs psych help Daisy. We blogged about that incident on March 7 and in these posts: What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? and Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers. This last post was because Joan, who loves to boast that she is a social worker (even though she never had a job as such) violated the code of of ethics of social workers when she blabbed on the internet about a (supposed) child sexual abuse victim.
Scary is when someone (Joan) gets on the internet, names MY employer, and accuses me of computer hacking, when I have not done this. THIS is scary – that I could possibly lose my job because of JOAN’S lies! –
Fear not – Joan tried that in 1994 – six months of continued calls to my employer trying to get me fired – administration had a meeting and told all persons throughout the hospital to hang up when Joan Wheeler called! –
For you, Daisy, to not read what I’ve been saying is the truly scary part – because you seem as though you need some therapy yourself.
Now, I further say this to Daisy and everyone else: If Joan has the Freedom of Speech to self-publish a book that contains slander and libel about me, I have the Freedom of Speech to answer her on this blog.
Further, since I have in my possession actual BUFFALO CITY COURT RECORDS that attest to the fact that I, Ruth Sippel Pace was NOT placed under arrest, and was NOT sentenced to probation, and submitted copies of these documents to Trafford Publications, the publisher of Joan’s book, and cited the pages that Joan said that I was arrested and placed on probation, it was PROVEN that Joan LIED in her book about me. Therefore, her book was pulled from publication.
But it does not end there – Joan NEEDS TO RECANT HER STATEMENTS ABOUT ME AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS! Joan needs to step forward and ADMIT THAT SHE LIED ABOUT ME IN HER BOOK AND ON HER WEBSITES.
JOAN NEEDS TO FORMALLY AND PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE FOR HER LIES ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY THAT SHE PUT IN HER BOOK AND CONTINUES TO PLACE ON THE INTERNET!
JOAN NEEDS TO REMOVE HER SO-CALLED “CYBER-BULLYING” PAGE THAT CONTAINS MY EMPLOYER’S NAME AND SAYS THAT I AM GUILTY OF COMPUTER HACKING.
Daisy, you say that I have a problem – yes I do – this sort of thing IS POTENTIALLY DAMAGING TO MY CAREER! Daisy, how would YOU like it if I got on the internet and named YOUR employer and accused YOU of computer hacking? Answer truthfully – YOU WOULD NOT LIKE IT. That is not Joan’s “opinion” that I am a computer hacker – that is a LIE!
Amendment, June 28, 6:30pm:
In driving in to work just now, (and before Joan gets a conniption fit and starts talking shit again – I am NOT clocked in – I still have a half hour before I start work – and I am on my personal laptop, NOT hospital property) - anyway, in my van, I was listening to a motivational tape that featured entrepreneur and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. Mr. Ziglar was giving the narrative of a situation of where a person could tie a kerchief over their face, enter a bank, stick their hand in their pocket and point their finger as to suggest they had a gun. He would be able to successfully rob the bank, even though he did not in actuality have a gun. Mr. Ziglar then said: “The evidence may be false, but it will appear real.”
And so does Joan’s statements about me and my family. Daisy would do well to THOROUGHLY get to the bottom of what she reads on the internet. But I guess she is one of those blind people who blithely believe what she reads. Daisy needs to read my next post, Of Lies and Deceipt, Honor and Integrity – A Comparison Study of Joan Wheeler and The Three Sippel Sisters and read it thoroughly and do some research before she opens her mouth and makes silly comments.
(back to my original post) – Now read this Missy Daisy and if you are intelligent, you will READ it and not comment stupidly next time. Because you obviously don’t understand TRUTH and HONOR and INTEGRITY!
From my post of November 2, 2010, What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler:
The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
2. Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
3. Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
4. Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
5. Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
6. For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
7. Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
8. Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
9. Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
10. For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
11. For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
13. For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
14. An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
15. For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
1. The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
2. Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
3. Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
4. The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
1. Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
1. Gert McQueen – June 28, 2011
On June 22, Daisy says this:
I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.
Gert here:
yep we have a problem and it’s called personal and family honor that has been taken away from us by Joan Wheeler and her lies!!!
I assure you that we are very secure with ourselves, it is only Joan who is not! That is why she has hidden behind a book of lies and gets others to do her talking for her when she is brought to task.
Personal opinions are like aholes, everyone has one, but when they are slanderous and libelous they are very DANGEROUS things and MUST be exposed!
Scary?! You obviously have never been on the receiving end of what Joan Wheeler can dish out.
I would welcome some lawyer, court, to come and tell me that I ought to cease and desist with regaining MY personal honor and MY families honor from Joan Wheeler…I welcome it, bring it on!!
Joan has a entire blog where she ORDERS us to cease and desist I answered every line of that stupid nonsense, right here on this blog.
And Daisy…what are your creditials to recommend that we need psychiatric help? No, my dear, it is not us that need that kind of help…Joan has done quite well in documenting her mental status in that book.
you really ought to read that if you want to know SCARY!
2. Gert McQueen – June 29, 2011
On Nov 24 and 30, 2010, here on this blog, I answered Joan Wheeler’s cease and desist order that she placed on a blog. Please go and read it to inform yourself about how Joan Wheeler operates and my views and opinions of her ‘order’!
According to Joan she created that blog on advise of police. If that is so why has she not offered proof of such…no police department would tell her to do so…she is a bullshitter. She further states that NY has no laws against cyberbullying (as she calls our freedom of expression) and that no court will help her. Again those are empty threats with the thin veil that she ‘spoke’ with authorities…she never has because she doesn’t have any case against us. What Joan has done by that blog is a continued form of HARASSMENT and SLANDER against us!
According to Joan, only she is entitled to her views and opinions…we sisters are not so entitled. She can not accept that we are speaking our truth, our opinions and our views. She offers only empty threats…if she could stop us she would have done so already and be done with us.
So…we shall continue on…with refuting the book of lies that Joan Wheeler wrote and which got pulled by the publisher because they want nothing to do with libelous material…wise decision on their part.
Reply - Ruth – June 29, 2011
What Daisy and others who don’t take the time to READ this blog and do their research is that it is JOAN who keeps the escalation going. Even when there have been times that we have not posted on our blog, we come on the internet and find yet ANOTHER slam against us from Joan. She keeps repeating “My sisters are bothering me.” But does she say HOW? “My sisters are interfering in my life.” But does she say HOW? Absolutely NOT! And little baa-baa sheep like Daisy, Mara, MYst, Heather, read Joan’s whines, BELIEVE her crap, then come running over here to leave unintelligent hate messages.
On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to inform her that an aunt died. I had first called my father. Knowing that he had recently thrown her out of his house (again – what does that tell you?) I asked if he still had her number. He sounded tired (he was 86 years old) so I made the call for him. Joan asked where I got her number – as I am a truthful person, I told her. She was not happy. I told her Aunt Doris died. She said to me very surly, “THANK you for telling me that, but…” then she proceeded to blast my eardrums with obscenities and verbal abuse. She was screaming so hard I couldn’t understand half she said. I slammed the phone down and broke into tears. What did I do wrong? I jumped in my car and went first to my cousin’s house, then my dad’s. In the meantime, Joan had called my father and screamed at him to the point that he also slammed the phone down. (Elder abuse). When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis and Gert McQueen are not to contact Joan.um, it was RUTH who called, NOT Kathy, not Ger. And it was NOT a harassing call – it was to inform Joan of a family member’s death.
A few days later, Gert called the police herself to tell them OUR side of the story – and the police told her “don’t worry, we know all about Joan.” – what does THAT tell you? It tells you that Joan is the escalator of things. She exaggerates everything. She accuses people of doing things when they are not doing things.
This little story has been blogged her several times now – DAISY – READ SOMETHING FIRST BEFORE YOU COMMENT ON IT BECAUSE ALL YOU ACCOMPLISHED IS TO SHOW ME HOW SILLY YOU ARE.
I had closed this blog to comments before because Joan had gotten her buddies and her boyfriend to come here and leave hate messages. Obscenities, and stupid remarks like Daisy’s. I would welcome INTELLIGENT comments. And I have gotten a couple. Myst for one, came over here and left a very nice comment, which I answered. I will close the comments again – because in the long run – the purpose of this blog is NOT for us really hear any of Joan’s buddies trying to justify Joan’s actions – because there is NEVER any justification in the crap that Joan has done to us. And is still doing.
As to my time and energy – don’t worry about it Daisy – why don’t you ask yourself why are YOU wasting so much time on us? You should be spending your time and energy in getting some psychiatric help for the person who needs it – Joan. Because even the police think she’s a lunatic.
And yes, Gert and I, (and in the past, our father) ARE qualified to make that kind of evaluation on Joan, because we have known her personally for 37 years. We have suffered through her harrassments. If Joan is suffering now, it’s because 37 years of mistreating the very people she dreamed about, fantasized about, WANTED in her life – her birth family. She hated the fact she was adopted. Was pissed off when she found about her adoption when she was a kid. Grew up resenting her aparents. Made the desicion at 16 to find her birth family – FANTASIZED that her birth family would be this wonderful fairy tale family that would make all her problems disappear! When that didn’t happen, she set out to punish us. When she found out that we were only human, and made mistakes in life AS EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET – Joan set out to punish us.
AND FOR WHAT? I asked before on this blog – WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO JOAN THAT MADE HER SET OUT TO HATE AND PUNISH ME?
These are the things Daisy, that you should be questioning. And when you find the answers, THEN come and talk to me.
A call to arm against the nasty sisters. – Joan Wheeler calls in the big dudes to sic it to us – roflmao! June 17, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
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by Gert McQueen
For those that have not seen the recent events on line here is the link to see Joan Wheeler’s article and all the comments.
http://www.buffalonews.com/editorial-page/from-our-readers/my-view/article450236.ece
On June 15, 201, Joan noticed that Ruth and I had commented on her article and so she goes to the adult adoptee’s forum and places this call to arm against her sisters!!!
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« Reply #11 on: Today at 12:42:25 PM »
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1. Lisa Marie – June 17, 2011
Congratulations on having her book pulled.
Reply
2. Ruth – June 18, 2011
Thank you Lisa
as to Joan’s call for the calvary charge –
hee hee hee
She called , they ignored.
“What? What was that? A call to go over to your sister’s blog and leave hate messages? Um, we did that in February 2010. Then some of us did it in May 2010, then we did it again, um when was it? Geez, we don’t remember. — so let’s get this straight- you keep whining to us about your big bad birth sisters, you keep trashing them on different internet forums, oh yeah, that’s right – in March 2011, you told lies on The Huffington Post about them, invading their privacy, trashed your own grandfather, and got yourself kicked off the Huffington Post. So now what? You want us to come and swear at your sisters again?, sorry, we got better things to do. Been there, done that.”
Gert McQueen answers Joan Wheeler’s attempt to dictate her birth sister’s use of the internet – Part 1 June 16, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, Disrespect, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, The Buffalo News, whining
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by Gert McQueen
Joan Wheeler said on the adult adoptees forum after our comments to her article in the Buffalo News, the following…
“For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”
Gert says: Here again Joan goes off begging for help from those on the forum to go after her nasty sisters who are stalking her! Yeh right! And who is harassing whom? Like I have stated in my comment to the newspaper…Joan does not like anyone who opposes her.
It appears as if Joan Wheeler does not or can not understand the nature of public comments, particularly those that are against her views or by those individuals she hates. Last I knew I have freedom to express my view and I exercised that in my comment to a comment that someone had posted about Joan. I did not address Joan’s article in particular. I don’t have a comment on her article, but, I do have a right to express my view about whether or not Joan Wheeler has any kind of ‘political clout’ or whether she would be a good person for a job in the New York Assembly, which is what I was addressing. The best endorsement (pro or con) is from one who has had experience with knowing and dealing with the other or buying a particular product. Does Joan really believe that people DON’T do their homework and do not want to know about her moral integrity?
And what does Joan Wheeler do? She immediately has to insist that we commented to stalk her, lie about her and publish our blogs that are filled against with her. Okay…one out of three ain’t bad! The one being about our blog being filled ABOUT her not against her. We are not stalking her nor lying about her…that is her view of it. She does not understand that I was addressing the issue of whether or not she has the moral integrity to be trusted…with politcal clout or anything else. That is the REAL reason for my comment, which is lost to Joan because she believes I don’t have any right to speak about her and her deeds.
And then there is the book! Obviously Joan doesn’t have a sense of reality to why the book was pulled. She can say all she wants about how the book was from her point of view, but, the fact remains that what she published was libelous in nature, period, end of story. The only reason Joan and the publisher are NOT in court is because it costs lots of money. But the publisher was wise enough to just dump the book and count their blessings. I would most certainly welcome Joan Wheeler’s attorney to contact me so that he will see for himself or better yet why not just take me to court? Joan has all the resources of the New York state welfare and disability lawyers at her disposal…she is on disability and therefore has no problem with getting a lawyer. I certainly can’t imagine how much money she is spending on this but she is throwing good money after bad…meaning…she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. But, hey, if she really wants her day in court, come one already, and sue me!
Dictator Joan Wheeler commands that her birth sisters CANNOT read The Buffalo News online or submit a comment, even though Joan does not own The Buffalo News June 16, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.Tags: adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, bullying, Disrespect, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Joan Wheeler - Dictator, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, The Buffalo News, whining
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In a previous post, I wrote about the latest whine from Joan Wheeler. She had written a very nice editorial about adoptees and their birth certificate and submitted it to The Buffalo News, our local newspaper. Apparently they didn’t print it fast enough for her, because right away she started whining that the Buffalo News was a conservative paper, the city of Buffalo was full of conservative backward ignorant people, and so forth.
So her letter was finally published on June 10, 2011. Guess what people? I LIVE in the city of Buffalo, and I READ the Buffalo News. Both the hard copy and online. And if I read an editorial that is put out by the newspaper that I read on a daily basis, who the hell is Joan Wheeler to say that I am stalking her? I did not respond to her editorial, because it did not concern me. So how am I stalking her when I don’t respond? Gert also did not respond. So how is Gert stalking her? And by the way, Gert has every right to read an online edition of the newspaper that is put out in the city she was born in. How is that stalking anyone?
On June 13, a writer from Potsdam NY, left a comment online and said that she wished Joan Wheeler had political clout. Gert and I both had the same thought, that this person doesn’t know the real Joan. So we both responded on June 14 to THE LADY FROM POTSDAM, NOT JOAN.
Of course, Dictator Joan got her panties all bunched up and started screaming “they’re stalking me, they’re stalking me!” Then she goes to the adoptee forum and tells them this and asks for help from them to stop us. What is she? A little child? This behavior is akin to a 7 year old – “You stop bothering me, or I’m gonna go get my big brother and sic him on you.”
But this is typical of Joan. She accuses her birth sisters of everything wrong in her life. And when we are going on about our business, she’s got to put her foot down and dictate to us how to behave.
So I have this to say to Joan:
Wait a dam minute missy Joan! YOU DO NOT OWN THE INTERNET! YOU DO NOT OWN THE BUFFALO NEWS! YOU DO NOT OWN THE BUFFALO NEWS WEBSITE! YOU DO NOT OWN THE CITY OF BUFFALO and last, but most important: YOU DO NOT OWN ME!
I am an American citizen and I have the freedom to go to any dam internet site I want. As long as I pay my internet bill and the website’s owners give me access, I WILL GO TO ANY WEBSITE AND READ IT – GOT THAT MISSY DICTATOR? Just who the hell do you think you are? Well I know WHAT you are: a BULLY! And I don’t give in to bullies! Got that?
And I have EVERY DAM RIGHT to submit a comment on The Buffalo News website. DO YOU WORK FOR THE BUFFALO NEWS JOAN? NO? THEN SHUT UP.
What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, Disrespect, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
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by Gert McQueen and Ruth Pace
This is the particular exchange that threw Joan Wheeler into a huff on the Huffington Post:
Joan’s post:
Mrs Delacour,
I am not grateful to be adopted. Why would I? My adoptive parents knowingly and willingly prevented me from knowing my own full blood siblings during my childhood and that is child abuse. Yes, my natural father relinquish ed me to adoption when I was 4 months old just after the death of my mother. He kept the other 4 children. That alone is hurtful, but my adoptive parents knew my father and open visitation could have been arranged. But my so-called loving adoptive parents kept me all to themselves , alone, in their sheltered cocoon of adoption-l ove. I should have been told the truth.
Now about the birth certificat e issue: I was born the 5th child to married parents. My original birth certificat e states that there were 4 other children born to this mother. I was given a name and my long form birth certificat e states the date and time of birth in the hospital. My natural father gave this document to my adopting parents when he relinquished me.
Gert’s comment
Child abuse!!??? Get a grip! Not knowing any blood siblings is NOT abuse, dear sister!
And you should not throw stones around so freely particularly when you have called two false abuse charges at me in the past, because you knew better! Wrong, you were wrong, then and you are wrong now.
There are reasons why in adoption you don’t get to know the blood family, and it certainly isn’t because anyone is doing any kind of abuse! That is only in your mind!
There were NOT such things as open adoption/visitation in your case, dear sister. You are beating a dead horse! It was not hurtful that you were placed in adoption and separate from the other four…the re was NO ONE to take care of YOU, dear sister…a nd you did NOT have the same fates that we had. And don’t even go there and blame that on adoption!
Why don’t you stop being so hateful to the people who gave you so much!! Who paid for your college education, that you don’t use? Your siblings didn’t have all the benefits that you had in adoption. Being grateful is one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself, but, you would rather stay poor and in hate.
Instead of hating adoption and everyone who adopts, why don’t you try living a life for a change.
Ruth’s comment:
So, a couple of days after this exchange, because we Sippel Sisters DARED to post an opinion on an internet site, Joan goes on a rampage and cuts and pastes stuff from her lying cyberbullying page. In an effort to “silence” us. Joan thinks she owns the internet. Joan can post things, but her birth sisters are NOT allowed to post. Too bad, Joan, you don’t own the internet, you don’t own Huffington Post, you couldn’t control your sisters, and you couldn’t control Huffington Post. Your arrogance got you kicked off!
So when Joan saw she couldn’t control us by preventing us from opening an account on Huffington and accessing our American Constitutional First Amendment Right to Free Speech, Joan decides that even her own cyberbullying crap wasn’t good enough. So she adds an additional slur against us – the bullshit about our grandfather molesting us when we were kids.
I have to hand it to Joan – she really needs to get a job writing for a soap opera. She’s good at the cliff hangers! In her book and on her website, she hints that she has “secrets” that her birth sisters don’t want her to tell. We have gone on this blog about a year ago and asked her what those secrets are. She has never responded, until now. So this is the SECRET! Are there any more secrets Joan? Come on, OUT WITH IT NOW! STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. I’M CALLING IN YOUR BLUFF! I WANT TO SEE MORE DELUSIONS FROM YOUR SICK BRAIN SO I CAN HAVE ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH! I want to see some more of your “torpedos of truth.” roflmao! You could give Charlie Sheen a run for his money. — got Tiger Blood? ha ha ha!
O my gosh, do you people see what a scumbag she is? Let’s suppose for one minute that her allegations are true. Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that? Do you think people who write the laws of America is going to listen to this whackjob and take her recommendations to change birth certificate access laws? They are going to see her for what she is – a liar and someone who tries to hold her own birth family blackmail by threatening to tell lies and secrets about them. And then makes sick lying allegations about a very serious thing – child sexual abuse! Every adult survivor of child sexual abuse should slap Joan in the face for what she has lied about, for it makes a mockery of what they endured. NO ONE has the right to lie about something this serious.
I say again Joan: OUT WITH IT! Because me and my sisters are not going to succumb to emotional blackmail by you. Whatever “hold” you think you have over us, forget about it. You have none. All you have is your lies. And now, for the FOURTH time, Joan, I am challenging you to a lie detector test. Silence speaks volumes. She won’t answer me on this one because she knows the truth would stick in her throat and choke her.
So now I ask you Joan, WHO told you that I was molested by my grandfather? My grandfather? Let’s see, nope, he died in 1959. My grandmother? Nope, she died in 1965. Me? Nope, because I wouldn’t tell you about something that never happened. Was it my father? Nope, because again, it never happened. And speaking of my father, notice how Joan comes out with this bullshit AFTER my father is dead – because now my father can’t get in her face for her smearing his father’s reputation! Like he turned his back on her in 2009 for her insulting his religion and his mother.
So getting back to Joan’s statement to Mrs. Delacour “I am not grateful to be adopted.”
Well, shit, if the allegations against my grandfather were true, wouldn’t Joan BE grateful to have been adopted out and escape the alleged molestation?
No, I believe something else is going on here. And it is something that I have wondered about for years. Joan HATES men. She HATES my father for giving her up for adoption. She HATES her birth siblings that were NOT adopted. She HATES adoption. She HATES the fact she was adopted. She HATES her adoptive parents. She is so full of hate and rage. So full of hate and rage, and disproportionally so.
WHY?
Because it was not the Sippel Sisters were sexually molested as children, I believe IT WAS JOAN WHEELER HERSELF WHO WAS SEXUALLY MOLESTED AS A CHILD, PROBABLY BY A WHEELER RELATIVE!
Gert McQueen adds this comment:
“Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that?”
It just so happens that I have the ethic codes and what do they say?
The National Association of Social Workers codes of ethics.
1. SOCIAL WORKERS’ ETHICAL RESPONSIBILITIES TO CLIENTS
1.07 Privacy and Confidentiality
(a) Social workers should respect clients’ right to privacy. Social workers should not solicit private information from clients unless it is essential to providing services or conducting social work evaluation or research. Once private information is shared, standards of confidentiality apply.
(b) Social workers may disclose confidential information when appropriate with valid consent from a client or a person legally authorized to consent on behalf of a client.
(c) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons. The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable, and imminent harm to a client or other identifiable person. In all instances, social workers should disclose the least amount of confidential information necessary to achieve the desired purpose; only information that is directly relevant to the purpose for which the disclosure is made should be revealed.
(d) Social workers should inform clients, to the extent possible, about the disclosure of confidential information and the potential consequences, when feasible before the disclosure is made. This applies whether social workers disclose confidential information on the basis of a legal requirement or client consent.
(h) Social workers should not disclose confidential information to thirdparty payers unless clients have authorized such disclosure.
(i) Social workers should not discuss confidential information in any setting unless privacy can be ensured. Social workers should not discuss confidential information in public or semipublic areas such as hallways, waiting rooms, elevators, and restaurants.
(q) Social workers should not disclose identifying information when discussing clients with consultants unless the client has consented to disclosure of confidential information or there is a compelling need for such disclosure.
(r) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of deceased clients consistent with the preceding standards.
Gert says:
Sure looks like violation of the codes of ethics for the National Association of Social Workers to me! I say again, any takers? Anyone willing to press charges against Joan Wheeler for ethics violations? No takers? Well, I guess that’s the next thing I ought to look into!!
Joan Wheeler lies again about her birth sisters on the Huffington Post site March 4, 2011 March 5, 2011
Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, contradictions, embellishing the truth, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, fish stories, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
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by Ruth Pace
On March 4, 2011, Joan Wheeler continued her character assassination and smear campaign against her birth sisters. Why? Because Gert and I dared to post a comment on the Huffington Post forum. Which is our RIGHT as Americans.
Answering an article entitled “Adoptees are Americans,” Joan Wheeler had made references AGAIN to her birth family. She has no right to be posting about ME or MY family. In her comment, Joan said that she was adopted when she was 4 months old. In my answering comment, I said that she was adopted when she was 3 months old. Joan answered and pointed out that she was 3 months old when our mom died and was adopted out a month later. I saw that she was correct, and posted again, admitting to my mistake. I do this, see, because unlike Joan, I ADMIT TO WHEN I AM WRONG!
However, Joan decided to take things to a further level. Instead of correcting me and leaving it at that, Joan just HAD to start her lying again. After she corrected me, she goes on to say that Gert and I are stalking her. And she says that she has not had a relationship with us for more than 3 decades.
Call it stalking if you want, but yes, we monitor what Joan posts on the internet, BECAUSE WE AS AMERICANS HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY. If Joan does not like that, the solution is obvious: JOAN NEEDS TO STOP POSTING ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY!
Why do we take this stand? Because whenever Joan posts about us, it usually lies, inuendos, misreprsentations, false accusations, and exaggerations.
Case in point: right there in her return comment to me, she says “I have had no relationship with them for over 3 decades!”
THIS IS A FALSEHOOD! This is the year 2011. 3 decades is 30 years, which takes us back to 1981. Well, for crying out loud, I was one of her bridesmaids in the year 1983! She admits to this in her lying book Forbidden Family. And in her book, she relates outings to the beach with me in the years 1988 – 1990!
So when I commented, I pointed this discrepency out to her. What was her response? She goes on the attack – because in her faulty brain, she thinks that I, and my sister do not have the right to correct her. She can correct me, but will not accept a correction in turn. So she posts several posts on the Huffington site and slanders and libels us again.
Sorry Joan, but I am an American. I have the right to comment on the internet when someone lies about me or my family. If you don’t like that, then stop lying. Get used to the fact that whenever you post a lie, it WILL be answered and refuted!
Joan’s problem is that she has diarrhea of the mouth – everytime she tells a story she embellishes it. Witness the fact that she says she has had no relationship with us for over 3 decades! She touts herself as being an author – but she hasn’t learned the basics of truthtelling! She demands the truth in adoption and birth certificates, but does not deal in the truth herself!
When Joan posts on the internet about adoption, we are silent, because we don’t care about her adoption reform work. It doesn’t bother us one whit about her passion on adoption. But when she starts posting about us, or our family, you better believe we sit up and take notice – because as AMERICANS, we have that right. And we claim that right.
Joan, accept it – we are watching. If you post about us, it better be the truth – because we will always come right back at ya!
Joan Wheeler is now self-promoting her book Forbidden Family under false pretenses January 11, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, false advertising, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, misrepresenting one's credentials, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
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by Gert McQueen
Continuation of Joan Wheeler’s lies, her back tracking, her attempts to cover her tracks, her attempts to prove herself, which really only prove that she is digging the hole deeper for herself and…more of the same.
Having recently seen Joan Wheeler’s web page about Forbidden Family I must say that she is again crossing the line. This woman has no sense of what she does, she can’t seem to see that she can not get herself out of the hole she dug for herself and it’s only getting deeper.
Joan must not have many friends left because she has resorted to ‘self’ advertising.
First things first: according to what is stated in the first pages of the book and elsewhere, the author states that there are no REAL names in the book…this is patently false and she gives enough information within the book that anyone can quickly do a research and find us.
Secondly, on the web site, for the purpose of promoting and referencing a book, which is suppose to keep the real names of the family, ie. my father, me, my brother and sisters out of print, the author posts the death notice of our mother and that contains all our real names.
Her argument that we have identified ourselves is a NON issue. We did not write the book! Joan Wheeler did and Joan Wheeler is PROMOTING her book under false pretenses and Joan Wheeler is exposing the real identity of the characters in her book that is suppose to keep those characters names out.
So where does the author protect the family! If her book is a true story, as she states,and she is “protecting” our identies by changing our names in the book, then why is there a need for the author to publish a death notice that has all our names in it? Purely for hurting and exposing the birth family. Thank you very much Joan Wheeler for not only telling untruths about us but by giving the world our names…long before we started the blog and even now on your PROMOTIONAL blog for a book that claims it is about adoption reform.
This exposure is under the tab, on the Forbidden Family’s web site, called about the author. It is a recent addition placed there as punishment to the birth sisters because we will not stop telling the truth about the lies in the book. By doing this, the author has discredited herself by doing the very thing that she states in the book that she has not done! This action is a clear violation of privacy to our family and ourselves, is a direct lie that the author is now stating and a violation of the ethics according to the Association of Social Workers, that the author is a member of.
Under the tab called press release, the author has posted some statements that are in and around the book. This is NOT a press release. The author needed to fill this empty space, because we sisters had a press release REMOVED back in June 2010! So to fill the space and make herself look good, she does a bit of self-advertising.
Under the tab about the Book and Buy the author STILL has the advertising of a web-site that is hate based against the sisters, calling us cyber bullies and stalkers and gives out false statements of a personal slanderous nature. And like a fool she keeps advertising our web page where we report all the lies in the book! Joan Wheeler is shooting herself in her foot.
Ruth’s note: yeah, that’s right – that page is HATE based – so Russ ol’ boy and any other of Joan’s friends, don’t be coming here and leave little comments that this blog is hate based – go see what YOUR friend Joan is writing. roflmao at Joan’s stupidity and her friends hypocrisies.
Joan Wheeler clearly cannot accept the fact that she has been CAUGHT in more lies than she even knows she has stated and still is stating them.
We sisters shall continue on with telling the truth and Joan Wheeler can not stop us.
Joan Wheeler — The Puppet Master December 8, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, being led around by the nose, being manipulated, blaming people for your own mess, cowardice, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, First Amendment: Free Speech, getting others to do your dirty work, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hiding behind others, letting oneself be manipulated, Lies, puppet master, puppet on a string, puppets, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, ventriloquists, whining
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In my last post Joan Wheeler AGAIN plays fast and loose with the facts of MY family! I tell of Joan going on another internet forum and tells lies again about my family. Gert and I, exercising OUR Freedom of Speech right, left a couple of comments. Joan’s cronies Russ and Mara went on and bashed us. roflmao! What’s the matter Joan? Can’t speak for yourself? gotta have someone else talk for you? Ain’t Woman enough to stand up for yourself?
I said once before on this blog to Russ ol boy – that Joan was manipulating him, pulling his strings and his head was full of sawdust.
It seems that my assessment was correct.
For once again, Joan the Puppet Master is at work again behind the scenes. She has Mara on one knee, Russ on the other. She has her hands in their wooden heads, working their mouths, making them do what she is too cowardly to do herself.
Joan, the quintessential liar and bully, goes onto an internet forum and talks trash about my family. When it has nothing to do with HER adoption or her anti-adoption agenda. Then she wonders why her family gets upset! Then when her family, excercises their right to debate her, can’t take it. She whines to her puppets: “oh help me, my sisters are mad at me again. Help me, make them stop.” She doesn’t see that she can stop us herself – by not talking about us and lying about us.
For some reason, Joan can’t learn this.
And neither can her puppets. They love to be lead around by their wooden noses.
Fools! Joan is a ventriloquist. With her fingers flying fast on the keyboard, she tells you guys what to do, what to say.
Wake up fools! Pull back the curtain and see who is really behind your thoughts! The Great and Powerful Puppet Master of Joan!
ps, if you guys have the right to go to PUBLIC internet forums and talk, then so do I! You fools do NOT own the internet. I have the Freedom of Speech to go where I want, say what I want. Just because your Master, Joan Wheeler tells you that her sisters can’t does not make it so. Got news for you – we can, and we will. Deal with it.
1. gert – December 8, 2010
But you know, Joan does keep certain things quiet from the puppets and she also lies to them…She told them that she had removed mentioning us on the Forbidden family site and I thought she had…well she didn’t…she still has a notice up about us sisters and she is continuing with her promotion about the cyberbullying site.
How can her puppets get anything done, in regards to having Joan stop yaking about us, as they in the past said they wanted, when Joan lies to them and doesn’t tell them what she is doing…namely sullying our names and reputations.
We want mention of us OFF the forbidden family site, that site is for ADOPTION REFORM not for promoting her sisters.
So you see, until Joan removes mention of us and advertising and sending readers to a cyberbullying site in a site that says it is about adoption reform, namely forbidden family, she is lying to her puppets and she is harassing us.
2. Ruth – December 8, 2010
Another thing the puppets haven’t caught – in the past their puppet master has instructed them to come over to this blog to harass us. BUT she instructed them NOT to come from the Adoptee Forum! She instructed them to come from other websites.
Isn’t this a direct violation of Joan’s complaint that we use multiple IP addressess and different wireless connections to go to her site? My, my, my, we see Joan’s double standard of harassment there!
the poor puppets haven’t figured that out yet, because they have sawdust for brains.
The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part one. November 30, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Joan Wheeler - Dictator, Joan Wheeler's double standard, Lies, misrepresenting one's credentials, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
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by Gert McQueen
Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!
And while we wait for Joan to do the right thing…
Joan is very very worried about how much we sisters are writing about her book, for you see, she is afraid of what is coming up! Yep, Joan knows the truth and she has seen in the past year that we sisters are very determined to expose all lies of Joan’s. So she must ‘head us off at the pass’, so to speak, by continuing her basic rap, without the music, that we sisters are after her and that we are harming her etc etc.
Joan Wheeler is never satisfied with her work, she must continually work on it and improve it and make it more stupendous than before, even adding more and more adjectives and inflammatory statements hoping to get someone to listen to her.
The NEW and not-so-necessarily-improved web blog of Joan Wheeler, is in response to our continued complaints about the statements that Joan has said about us that she placed on her web page. It is also in response to some efforts of others Joan’s friends, to get the comments, about her blood sisters, off the site for Forbidden Family. The web site for Forbidden Family is supposed to be for adoption reform, after all, and not condemning her sisters which Joan has done already within the pages of the book. Joan still has crap on that site and I have addressed that issue and have asked to have that shit removed. Friends of Joan’s need to work on her to get her to remove those references to her sisters OFF the page for Forbidden Family.
I had already addressed many issues, in a blog entry Sept 23, 2010, right here on our refuting blog, about what Joan had placed on her site. I suggest folks recheck that entry to see what I had already said. reposting: bullying untruths – and we can see thru your little games Joan Wheeler – why are you lying about dates when you post on your own website? (Ruth’s note: this is a repost of it, from November 24, 2010).
Since the beginning of November 2010, Joan has decided that she needed a new and improved site. She added more NEW stuff too. I shall now address them. I am omitting the paragraphs that I have already addressed in my Sept 23, post.
What is new, either wholly or in part, will be have (***) in front of it, these are Joan’s words. My comments will have (Gert answers) in front of it. (Ruth’s note: and of course, my notes will be in parathensis and italics).
**** I, Joan Wheeler, and my book, Forbidden Family, are Victims of Cyber Bullies & Stalkers My 3 older sisters stalked and bullied me for most of my 54 yrs (2010). Adoption Reunions are not to blame. My sisters who found me in 1974 perpetrated sexual assault upon me, made false allegations of sexual Child Abuse, spread filthy rumors about me. They accuse me of lying in my book. I do not want them in my life. They say I am doing things to them: I am not. I am not involved in their lives. They are delusional psychopaths. NYS doesn’t have a Cyber Bullies Law to protect me.
(Gert answers) The first question/comment is about Joan’s identification as a victim. She is and has been a professional victim all her life, by her own words. Too bad that she can’t be a ‘survivor’ or at the very least, just a plain ordinary person that has a life! The second question that strikes me is; how can a book be a victim of anything? A book is a book, it is an object, it can’t be bullied or stalked. A book can be read and as such is subjected to pro and con opinions and analysis by those that read it and by those whose lives are portrayed in them. So the argument that the book is a victim holds no water. As far as Joan herself is concern, she is not a victim of bullying of any sort nor is she being stalked, at least not by her blood sisters. Everything that we have to say is said and done in the OPEN and on our BLOG for the whole world to read! We are exercising our rights of Freedom of Speech and Expression.
(Gert answers) If Joan is 54 years old in 2010 and we didn’t know her until she was 18, this statement of hers, … ‘My 3 older sisters stalked and bullied me for most of my 54 yrs’…is patently FALSE. Reunions may or may not be to blame, but certainly, Joan’s interference, lying and other forms of duplicity in our lives certainly are to blame! Joan is constantly spreading falsehoods around, be it about her sisters or others. By the very fact that she can’t help herself in stating the same old lies, here, again, proves that she has NOTHING NEW to add to the long list of grievances she has against us. So what’s the point? Joan likes to accuse others and she never answers when directly confronted with and about her lies.
(Gert answers) Why doesn’t Joan just copy the book, put it on her web site, this way the whole world can read all the horrible deeds that we, and others, have done to her. No, that won’t work, you see, cause she wrote the book for the money! And if she put the pages of the book on a web page, she can’t get any money, so she has to keep telling the world, how horrible we are and about what we did to her…but she never answers when asked directly to prove her assertions. Does she think that by saying here, on a web page called cyber bullies and stalkers, that we did this or that, that people are going to BELIEVE her? Has Joan ever heard the tale of the boy who cried wolf too many times!
(Gert answers) Joan says, ‘They accuse me of lying in my book.’ Okay, if that is so, than why doesn’t Joan answer our accusations? Is she above reproach? Why are you hiding Joan? Come out, come out, where ever you are and tell us what is a lie that WE are telling!
(Gert answers) Joan says, ‘I do not want them in my life.’ Then why did she write all about us in her book? Why did she publish a book of lies about people she doesn’t want in her life? Did she think we would be happy? Joan says, ‘They say I am doing things to them: I am not. I am not involved in their lives.’ Oh yes, Joan you are IN OUR LIVES and you HAVE BEEN DOING THINGS TO US, you wrote a book about us, remember!. Joan says, ‘They are delusional psychopaths.’ And her proof is where? What is her definition of delusional and psychopathic? In my dictionary, under those words, are pictures of Joan Wheeler! Most delusional psychopaths are incapable of holding down long-terms jobs. The three Sippel Sisters, as Joan calls her blood sisters, each have held jobs, in health and educational fields for well over 30 years each! Where and how long has Joan held any kind of a job? Just because she holds a degree or two makes not a career. Answer that, Joan…have you held a job for 30 plus years? Joan says, ‘NYS doesn’t have a Cyber Bullies Law to protect me.’ Joan doesn’t need protection, we sisters and others that she wrote about in that book need protection, from her.
**** Anything posted on the Internet and represented by Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine (Kathy) Jean Sippel Inglis, and Gertrude (Gert) Mary Sippel McQueen which purports to be factual is both fraudulent and presented without Joan Wheeler’s authority or approval.
(Gert answers) Gee I didn’t know I HAD to get Joan’s permission and approval to write about and answer issues about my own life! Where does Joan’s authority come from? My my have we hit a nerve? How can Joan dismiss documents that we have placed on our site? Did we make those up? Is this a new accusation against us? Joan, get real!(Ruth’s note: I totally agree. I don’t NEED Joan’s permission to write about MY own life. And if Joan can write about me in her book, then I can write about her on my blog. But see, this is Joan the Dictator’s double standard – JOAN can write any dam thing she want, but no one else can. Joan the Dictator can write any dam thing she wants to about other people – her sister included, but they don’t have the right to answer her? And if they want to, by this very statement, they need JOAN’S authority or approval. Who the hell died and left you the boss of other people Joan?).
****It is unfair to be the subject of vile, misleading, deceptive and untrue commentaries that are maliciously intended to undermine a person’s professional and personal reputation. Adoption author and activist Joan Wheeler is intent on putting a stop to the lies and falsehoods being spread about her and her book “Forbidden Family”. Other adoption reformers and adoption professionals are also targets of the perpetrators Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis and Gert Sippel McQueen.
(Gert answers) Life isn’t fair, get real! Joan’s professional and personal reputation has been undermined by her own words and deeds as she has presented them in the book. My sisters and I did not have a thing to do with that book! Is there a double standard that Joan lives by? One for her and another for us sisters? Apparently, because she can say whatever she wants about us and it’s okay, but we can’t defend ourselves. Yep, that’s Joan alright! So let me get this straight…myself and my sisters’ professional and personal reputation mean nothing to Joan and it is perfectly right and fair for her to write ‘vile, misleading, deceptive and untrue commentaries that are maliciously intended to undermine a person’s professional and personal reputation’! Okay, just as long as I have that straight…there is one standard for Joan…anything goes…and another for us sisters…we can’t do anything unless Joan gives us permission! Okay, got ya! (Ruth’s note: Yep! That’s what I just said!)
(Gert answers) Joan Wheeler is NOT a adoption author and activist…she only uses that as a cover-up for the opportunity to tell the world about her inner life of torment. She uses her pathetic life as a reason to oppose adoption. Joan uses adoption has a means to justify her sad existence.
(Gert answers) Oh dear me!! She ‘is intent on putting a stop to the lies and falsehoods being spread about her and her book’! I’m shaking in fear! And just how does she propose to do that…has the 1st amendment been repealed? Has Joan been elected to public office where she has authority to stop me and my sisters from speaking! Get Real!
(Gert answers) Other adoption reformers and professionals are not being ‘targeted’ but are being informed about the true nature of Joan Wheeler’s motives within the book and about her lies within that book. They were being informed about the nature of the contents of the book and Joan’s lies and deeds, just as I wrote one letter to Joan’s adoptive mother, in 1982 or so, about the deeds that Joan did to my family. A professional, such as Doc Rene Hoksbergen, who wrote a forward in a book and a review of a book, needs to be EXPOSED for his unprofessional behavior in regards to the book Forbidden Family for that book and his approval have done great harm to many innocent people who are in the adoption world. Professionals make mistakes too and they can be conned too. Perhaps Doc Hoksbergen would tell me himself, if he thought he was being ‘targeted’, but alas, I have not heard from him…no matter. I have a right to write a letter to any professional that is associated with a untruthful book, about my life, written by Joan Wheeler. You would think that any reform movement would be interested in knowing whether or not they have a nut case promoting their cause and what possible repercussions there may be with continued association with said nut case. If these professionals and reformers want to be associated with the likes of Joan Wheeler it isn’t because we, sisters, didn’t warn them.
****Joan Wheeler fears not only for her personal and professional reputation, but for her life. Police and Court action, which was tried in the past, will not help in matters of Cyber Bullying and Cyber Stalking as there are no such laws in New York State to protect victims from this type of abuse. (Ruth’s note: I actually agree with Joan here – [gasp!’ “Police and Court action, which was tried in the past will not help.” Yeah, Joan, I had a restraining order against you in 1999, and so did our cousin Gail. And it seemed to work for 5 short years. But in 2004, you had to start your shit again. Your shit died down, but in September 2008, on your defunct blogspot blog (which we had nothing to do with getting shut down), YOU mentioned the Three Sippel Sisters! Warning us, and putting us down for our Pagan values. And this out of the clear blue sky! I have been on the internet since the year 2000, with no mention of Joan at all. But as soon as Joan gets introduced to the internet – BAM! She uses it as a new vehicle to bash her sisters. And she has the nerve to scream “cyber-bullying?” Who the hell started it Joan? WHO brought our feud onto the internet? YOU did – in September 2008. And then again in October 2009. And I only started this blog in November 2009. So, there you go – Joan’s own actions show us who the TRUE cyber-bully and stalker is – Joan Mary Wheeler!)
(Gert answers) Oh dear me, Joan fears for her life! Stop with the dramatics already will ya! Joan you have been saying that all your adult life when the pressures of living are too great for you. Don’t worry dear, we sisters have no desire to be in any space where you are. Yep, you have tried police and court action…where do you get the money for lawyers? How do you work the system? I’ve noticed, in your book, when you tried to go after that last boyfriend you had, that you spoke with four different lawyers! Does being on disability give you free legal advice? Why don’t you go and use them and sue us already and be done with it! No Joan will never do that because number one, she doesn’t have a case and two, she WANTS to be a VICTIM and she likes talking about being abused. (Ruth’s note: oh yes, we certainly don’t want to be in any space she is at – in fact NOBODY does. – In August 2003, at a cousin’s funeral, in walks Joan – and then everybody walked out! We all wanted to go out back for a cigarette or some fresh air.- true story! And at another funeral in December 2009, a relative of the deceased was relieved that Joan was not coming.) end Part One
I am not interested in your opinions of me September 1, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.Tags: abuse, adoption reform, being downright nasty, bigotry, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
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the purpose of this blog is to refute the lies from Joan Mary Wheeler. The lies that she has put forth about me and my family in her book Forbidden Family. And the continuing lies she puts out about me and my family to this day on the internet.
If you don’t like what you see here – you have my leave to leave! Because obviously you do not have an open mind – so buh-bye!
MY character is not the issue of this blog – it is JOAN”S character that is the issue.
As for any preachy advice – thank you. Because it only one sided. You don’t know me. Therefore you have no right to judge me. I DO know Joan – and she has been judged. And if you THINK you know Joan thru her clever whinings and manipulations and traps – you are not as smart as you think you are.
um, by the way – if your “advice” is this question: “why do you care what Joan writes about you? Just ignore her”, um, why don’t you practice what you preach? — Why are YOU here, caring about what I write? And why don’t YOU ignore me? oh and I really like the guy who berated me for calling Joan a bitch – then called me one. Well buddy, then you ain’t any better than me. lol. That sure was one “intelligent” commentor. NOT! Next time, don’t include in your complaint the very same thing you are complaining about. Well, thanks for the laugh you knucklehead!
As for me not posting your comments, don’t whine about that either – you didn’t let me post my comments on your site – so why should I post your stuff? It works both ways. You adoption people do not want a fair and equitable debate or rebuttal. But whine that I don’t post your comments.
Your very site is hypocritial. You post rules saying that inflammatory and falsified posts will not be tolerated – but that’s all I saw on your site. It’s better to be upfront about things. Don’t beat around the bush – I don’t. I tell it like it is. And if you can’t take the heat – stay out of the kitchen, or, er, my blog.
But see, like Joan, bullies like you can dish it out, but can’t take it. I have the Freedom of Speech to say what I want. If Joan can say what she wants about me, then I can say what I want about her. The only difference is: Joan lies. I tell the truth.
That’s right – I said BULLIES. Only bullies tell others to keep silent. I have been victimized by Joan and her lies. I will not be silenced. I stand up to bullies. And I stand up to those who tell me to keep silent. Joan wrote a whole book about me and my family – and continues to write lies – where are your admonitions to her to shut up? No, I will not be bullied into silence.
I challenge any one to set up a lie detector test for ANYTHING that I have stated on this blog. And by the gods, I will pass it every single time. Because I am not the liar – Joan Wheeler is.
Cyber Stalking or merely reading a blog on the World Wide Web -Dictator Joan issues another selfish decree! May 20, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, faulty memory, First Amendment: Free Speech, fish stories, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
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roflmao! So we are accused of cyber stalking again. um, correct me if I’m wrong – but if a thing is put out on the internet, then it is meant to be READ? And just how would Joan Wheeler know what is on our blog, and that we are “cyber-stalking”? By reading something here on our blog? Well, as you see, DICTATOR Joan Wheeler wants to come here to read our blog, but she declares that we CANNOT read hers. geez!
Joan, my dear, you do not own the internet. And if you are putting MY name on YOUR adoption discussion forum, than I claim the right to see what is being said about ME! YOU do not own MY name, I do. If you talk about me on the net, I want to know about it.
Oh, but whiny little Joan Wheeler, all over her book bitches and moans when she finds out (or even imagines) when people are talking about HER. But she thinks she can talk about ME and doesn’t see that is a double standard.
Grow up Joan. “oh, they’re talking about me again.” Well, you talked about me on May 8, 2010 and directed your buddies here. It’s ok for YOU to cyber stalk ME and put MY name out on discussion forums, but we can’t do the same? And FYI: We are NOT doing the same. We are not going on a bunch of websites talking about you. We could care less about you. And this blog is NOT about YOU: it is about ME and MY SISTERS, refuting YOUR lies. And we are not talking about YOUR life, we are talking about OUR lives. Your life gets mentioned when it has affected ours. And by they way, YOU talked about OUR lives in your book! So what’s your beef? What an idiot! Joan can talk about MY life, but I can’t talk about hers. Joan can go on the internet and talk about ME, but she doesn’t want ME to go on the internet and talk about HER. Talk about being a bully! Joan Wheeler – consummate cyber bully. Like she has been all her life. She has no self-esteem, so to get her way, she resorts to bullying. Do as I say, not as I do, is her command! Joan, YOU DO NOT COMMAND ME! I do as I see you do. uh, I mean, isn’t that what you want? Us to think like you? No? Well what the hell DO you want? pshaw, I don’t care what you want. You sure don’t care what I want, and never did. I was just a piece of dirt to you. A piece of dirt you thought you could steal from and get away with it. well, in a sense you did, because you never repaid the money you stole, but you know, what goes around, comes around. You’ll pay for all the crap you did to me and my sisters. And I think it’s coming round. If isn’t evident at the moment, it will shortly. I don’t know when, but things are going to blow up in your face. lol.
oh, and thanks for the publicity to my blog. oh! sending more people over here to read all about the crap you did to us and the lies you’ve told about me and my family! roflmao! stupid is as stupid does. thank ye, thank ye, thank ye! lol — well peeps, you are all quite welcome to come here and read anything you want! That’s why it’s here! I WANT people to read it. Why else would I be typing this stuff up and publishing it? Just to practice my typing skills? lol.
by the way, Joan, nice job obtaining John’s birth certificate. thanks a bunch. lol. Miss Know-it-all, knows all about birth certificates. Promised John to help him get his, but couldn’t. Why not? I thought she was the EXPERT in such things. tsk tsk. No worries, we went and got it ourselves, with absolutely no problem.

everybody, on three, sob for poor little Joanie. She can dish it out, but can't take it. boo hoo. cry for the little Joanie. sob
Comments»
1. Gert – May 20, 2010 [Edit]
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Joan has said ‘They read my website now, just have they have done to my other blogs. If they don’t want me in their lives, they have no business reading my website. They are obsessed with me and are determined to bring me down. I will not let that happen.’
This is Gert talking and I have NOT been on Joan’s site. It is no us that is obsessed, how would Joan know what we are saying if she is not reading our blog?
The above statement by Joan and other things are out there on the internet! Free for all to see, can’t be controlled! Listen carefully, Joan, no one is stalking or bullying you, it is all in your ‘inner life’. The purpose of this blog is so that us three sisters can have our own voices heard, without being charged, by you, of harassing, stalking or bullying you. Those days are over!
You wrote a book great! It is NOW the subject of a great deal of reading, pondering and writing reports about its contents. That is what happens when you ‘go public’, you are subjected to praise and criticisms, it is not harassing, stalking or bullying. Face the facts that it is you and only you that is afraid of what we are saying about the contents of the book.
An evil deed, like freshly drawn milk, does not turn sour at once….
DhammapadJoan your evil deeds over the years of slaundering us, telling lies, fabricating nonsense with malicious intent about us, browbeating, harassing, and varioius deeds of omission (so you don’t look bad) are coming to fruition. You were the one who wrote a book, now deal with the fall out from it!
I will say what has to be said and no one Joan will stop me. I have only just began and I will not stop until I have addressed every single page of your book of lies and fabrications that deal with the lives of myself, my children, my sisters, my parents and everyone else that you mention in this book of filth.
2. Ruth – May 20, 2010 [Edit]
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I agree with Gert.
Go back and read the title and subtitle of this blog:
Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family
what Joan Wheeler doesn’t want us to do: expose her lies and tell the truth about us and our familyeverything has a link in a chain of events:
1. Joan wrote a book. that book was full of falsehoods and slams against her own blood kin.
2. Joan goes on the internet and slams her own blood sisters – as far back as September 2008
3. A blog is put up to TELL THE TRUTH behind the falsehoods in the book and what Joan says on the internetCause and effect, my dear, cause and effect.
and as with most bullies, Joan can dish it out, but can’t take it. too bad, my dear. as Gert just wrote: “You were the one who wrote a book, now deal with the fall out from it.”
The latest whine from liar Joan Wheeler May 9, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.Tags: abuse, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, emotional abuse, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
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All thru her book, it’s poor poor Joanie. EVERYBODY is out to get her. From the time she was an infant, she has been mentally used and abused. Her book details harrasing phone calls and letters she has received. Does she document in her book the harassing phone calls, letters and false accusations that SHE has performed? ha ha, of course not. Joan is perfect. Joan has never hung up the phone on anyone. (yeah right). Joan has never made a pest out of herself. (yeah right).
Oh poor poor Joanie. She was denied the chance to grieve her birth mother’s loss. Guess what sweetie, so was I! And my sisters. You don’t see us whining about it! Joan whines continuously about her mother in her book. And I have to agree, that woman is toxic, toxic, toxic. But Joan stays in that toxic relationship.
Why? Because she has no money to support herself. Why? Because she wouldn’t get a dam job all those years ago. So she took the trade off. Live with her mother, who treated her and her kids like dirt. She says so right in the book! Nice. Instead of providing a HAPPY home for herself and her children, she choose to stay in a toxic relationship. You can’t help people like that. They whine about their sad lot in life. But won’t do anything to improve their life. They will make a show of going to counseling, but what counseling is not about a counselor waving a magic wand and saying, “now, go, your life is fixed.” No, YOU have to do the work. YOU have to face your demons that is making behave in such a manner that people don’t want anything to do with you. YOU have to make the change.
In 54 years, Joan has been browbeaten by that domineering, contradictory woman. Joan says herself in her book that HER OWN ADOPTIVE MOTHER SENT HARASSMENT LETTERS TO HER. (and I bet those are the ones that I got the blame for). In reading Joan’s book the sick co-dependency of these two woman, I get the feeling that person who placed the child abuse call on Joan in December 1994 was her mother. It was a clear engineering to get ME in trouble with my husband. And make no mistake, that woman HATED me, I don’t know why. Right on the top of page 300 Joan quotes her mother “That’s what’s wrong with your sisters. They didn’t have a mother and look how they turned out.” This was in 1992. When Joan was describing in her book a whole fight that didn’t happen, but the words came out of Dorothy’s mouth. And way before the “gloves were thrown down and the real fighting began. But the fighting was because of Joan’s own harassment of me.
So getting back to how Dorothy comments on how I turned out. How I turned out? How dare you Dorothy? How do you dare pass judgement on me? When just two years before, YOUR daughter stole money from me. In 1984, YOUR daughter went to a rock concert in Kitchener Ontario, and there was a pool table party. And she was married for just over a year! With an infant son at home! In 1989 YOUR daughter was supplementing the family income via a very unlady-like means. YOUR daughter, in 1992, showed up drunk at my house at 5 am one Sunday after being with a folksinger on tour from England. And how does Joan even dare to even quote her mother as saying that? thanks for sticking up for your blood kin dear sister.
How I turned out? ok, I have had the same dam job for 37, going on 38 years. Joan doesn’t even have a job. I have had the total of 5 sexual partners in my entire life, 2 from 1975, those being my two wonderful husbands. . I couldn’t hazard a guess as to Joan’s tally. I have NEVER called ANYBODY’S job trying to get them fired over a false accusation. Joan did this to me, her own blood kin. I have never stolen money from anybody, Joan did from me.
So in the interest of basic human rights, of which, Joan has trampled on mine, time and time again, I am posting Dick’s article here. Read it and learn. AND WOULD SOMEBODY TEACH THESE THINGS TO JOAN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT THE WOMAN BASIC MORALS.
I MAY NOT HAVE HAD A MOTHER, BUT I DON’T STEAL, I DON’T LIE, I DON’T CHEAT ON MY HUSBAND (neither one). AND I KEEP MY BODY PURE. So take your sanctimonious preaching Dorothy and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Because me and my sisters turned out a hell of a lot better than YOUR daughter.
Now as to Joan’s latest whine to her adoption friends that she spent Easter looking for a lawyer to sue me. (um Easter is on a Sunday, and lawyers don’t work on a Sunday). Well, Joan, whine and threaten me. Go ahead , get a lawyer to sue me for harassing you via this blog. What civil rights of MINE have YOU violated with that trashy book of yours. Hey lawyer! Hear MY side of the story. How Joan published MY picture on the back of her book WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! I want compensation for that Joan. No lawyer in hell will touch you because YOU broke the law!
YOU have violated my civil rights. Go ahead, lecture Sara from Illinois, but why don’t you take your advice? How dare you violate MY civil rights with that lie-filled book, and my blog contains court records that show you for the liar you are. Come see me lawyer, hear the truth. Joan is lying to you. The harassment that occurs is JOAN’S lies. She says she has “multiple orders of protection” against me. THIS IS A LIE. AND I HAVE THE COURT DOCUMENTS ON THIS BLOG TO PROVE IT. (click on link to see them) Joan is the one harassing people with lies of this sort. so go ahead and get a lawyer Joan. I want to see you in court. Let’s go. They will tell you to stop publication of that lying book that has MY picture that you used WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. You want to play with fire, I’m a Leo, a fire sign. Let’s have at it!
MY civil rights are violated in that lying book of hers. Like Joan publishing that comment that her mother said about how I turned out. And telling people that I have been arrested and have a criminal record. Joan, my dear, that is slander and libel. So you want a lawyer? Let’s see how a judge will react when they read that crap in your book, and research my “criminal record.” My dear, you are going to make yourself to look the fool that you are. You really want to go there? Like I said, let’s have at it! Better prove your claims in your book. Like how you have “multiple orders of protection against me.” Really? Just because you conveniently burned your belongings in your lviing room, ( a sign of mental instability), doesn’t mean that can’t be researched. Court documents, my dear, are not destroyed. I have the docket numbers, silly, and they will back up MY truth: that you had only ONE order of protection against me, for 6 months, and it was on condition, and then dismissed, so in reality, you didn’t have even ONE. You want to play lawyer with me? You want to sue me? I will halt publication of your book and have all royalties turned over to me, because YOU violated MY civil rights in it. So I will expect to see in court? Let’s go. Don’t threaten, DO!
Don’t whine, and stop contradicting yourself. I never called child abuse on you. And the call was NOT about that YOU sexually abused your children. The report, and I have already scanned and posted YOUR letter to Albany, New York, that the call was that my boyfriend and you had sex in front of your kids and you and your mom forced them to watch. And no, I did not make that call. Why would I call child abuse, give them MY name, and further say that MY fiance, FIANCE, not “boyfriend” is having sex with you. um, silly, that’s the guy I was engaged to marry, and did marry. Why would I want to risk him going to jail? No, no, you had that part right in your post to your adoptee buddies: I am claiming that it was YOU who made that child abuse call, to break me and John up. But now that I read how mentally sick your mother has been, and how you write in your book how she sent harassing letters to you, I’m beginning to wonder. Who did make that call? Your mother hated me. Why? I don’t know. When I was the one who supported you and her during her husband’s illness and death. I showed nothing but respect to her. And I got kicked in the teeth by her. Wouldn’t surprise one dam bit if was her who made that call.
click here to see the letter Joan wrote to Albany. And see the letters Joan wrote to my then fiance, now husband, and his mother, in an attempt to discredit me in their eye and to break me and John up. Who was harassing whom in 1994-1995, mmmm Joan? YOU were harassing ME. YOU were pissing on me back them. So take your whining and shove it! Any visitors from the adoption forum that Joan sent over here: yeah, take a good look at your buddy. And “sweet” Mara, are you that dim that you don’t recognize a sarcastic slam? And why are YOU telling Joan not to read this blog, when YOU are clearly reading it. No, “Sweeeet” Mara, I think you are nothing close to sweet. You are a filthy mouthed troll. And no, Mara, our family was NOT torn apart by and because of Joan’s adoption. she wants credit for everything. No, my father remarried a few months after our mom died. His second wife was mentally ill, and the times she was in the hospital, was when we were in the foster home and orphanage.
AFTER we were reunited with Joan in 1974, our family was STILL not torn apart. JOAN was asked to leave because of all the pissing she did on us: like stealing, meddling, being an out and out bitch. But you adoptees LIKE being bitches don’t you? You are so angry with the world because you were adopted. oh boo hoo. MY mother died when I was 3, and I never knew her. You don’t see ME being a bitch to everyone. Joan wants to punish the whole world, including me for her adoption. I was a three year old kid for god’s sake. And when we were adults, I refused to have a liar and a thief, and a harasser around me. If our family was torn apart, how do you account for this blog, where we siblings are sticking together? As you see, Joan speaks with a forked tongue called Joan-Fantasy-Language. If you like that sort of person, you are as sick as she is.
So there you have it. The latest on poor poor Joan, “my sisters are pissing on me.” Joan’s whole dam book was a piss session on ME and my sisters.
And won’t a lawyer and a judge like to hear that!
Comments»
1. Sharry – May 9, 2010 [Edit]
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Good job, Ruth!
Reply 2. chayelet – May 9, 2010 [Edit]
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As one of the ‘notorious’ Sippel Sisters, I, too, grew up without my mother, and I resent the statement attributed to Dorothy Wheeler by her adoptive daughter, my birth sister, about how I and my sisters ‘turned out’, implying we have turned out to be scum. Yes, Dorothy, and JW for that matter, just look at how we turned out-not bad at all if I must say so myself.
Growing up in foster care was not the same as growing up within the family unit, but our foster parents treated us with respect and taught us good morals.But we were left wanting in the social skills department, and, once out in the world, had to fend for ourselves-that included learning those social skills as we went along. I cannot speak for Ruth or Gert, but, for myself, as soon as I became of age and could act for myself, I sought a different way of life in another country- I have lived in the UK for 37 years-if I have turned out so badly, I’m sure the good people of my adoptive (there’s that word again) country would have booted me out long ago. But here I am, still plugging away, able to look people in the eye, able to look my own soul in the eye, and know that, so far at least, I have done the best I could given any set of circumstances, without doing deliberate harm to anyone.
I converted to Judaism some years ago. Judaism strongly believes that although the world is far from perfect, it can be improved. What is more, Judaism teaches that in a very real sense, we human beings are co-creators with G-d of the world, and, therefore, it is our duty to help Him perfect it. This concept is called Tikkun Olam- healing the world (source:Judaism- a Religion of Deeds and Ideals, by David C Gross,1992, Hippocrene Books, Inc).
For myself, I choose to practise Tikkun Olam through my music, or rather I should say, I have been given the opportunity of healing the world through my music, and being involved in the Jewish, and wider, communities. I am not a goody-goody-two shoes, but neither am I scum.
The greatest gift you give others is the example of your own life working. What an example we have in the lives and attitudes of Dorothy and Joan Wheeler-no, thank you. I’ll stick to mine.
Yes, just see how the Three Sisters turned out, and how JW turned out-I begin to see a secret back-handed compliment to us in that statement by Dorothy Wheeler- I humbly thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Reply 3. chayelet – May 9, 2010 [Edit]
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As to JW’s lawyer-baiting- I’m with Ruth- I want compo for use of my image on the back of that book without permission and slander/libel, so yes, bring it on J Baby-I’m waiting.
Standing up for oneself is also a form of Tikkun Olam, and is an example of one who can look oneself and one’s soul in the eye. Can you, J Baby?
THE 11 HUMAN RIGHTS by Dick Sutphen – submitted by Ruth Pace. and applying to them to a liar like Joan Wheeler May 8, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, emotional abuse, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, theft
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For a number of years, I have read articles and listened to self-hypnosis, self-help tapes from Dick Sutphen. dicksutphen.com I receive a weekly newsletter in my email from Dick and his wife Tara. I also attended a couple of seminars from Dick and Tara in Lilydale, NY.
Joan’s book Forbidden Family is full of such angst, such torment. She is such a tormented soul. Have her years in therapy done anything? Apparently not. A person can be addicted to therapy. They can WANT to be in therapy and NOT WANT to get better. This is to perpetuate the victim mindset. The sympathy ploy.
So in the interest of basic human rights, of which, Joan has trampled on mine, time and time again, I am posting Dick’s article here. Read it and learn. AND WOULD SOMEBODY TEACH THESE THINGS TO JOAN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT THE WOMAN BASIC MORALS.
THE 11 HUMAN RIGHTS by Dick Sutphen This month, I’ve received a couple requests to post my “11 Human Rights,” so here they are. These rights allow for expression instead of repression. The assertive individual grants them to all others while demanding them for himself.
1. You have the right to do anything as long as you do not purposely hurt someone else and you are willing to accept the consequences.
2. You have the right to maintain your self-respect by answering honestly even it does hurt someone else (as long as you are being assertive rather than aggressive.)
3. You have the right to be what you are without changing your ideas or behavior to satisfy someone else.
4. You have the right to strive for self-actualization (to be all you can be).
5. You have the right to use your own judgment as to the need priorities of yourself and others, if you decide to accept any responsibility for another’s problem.
6. You have the right not to be subjected to negativity.
7. You have the right to offer no excuses or justification for your decisions or behavior.
8. You have the right not to care.
9. You have the right to be illogical.
10. You have the right to change your mind.
11. You have the right to defend yourself.
Live your life doing things because you want to do them or because as a personal value judgment or compromise, you have agreed to do them. Any decision resulting in loss of self-respect is unacceptable. Do not do things because they are expected of you or because you think you should or because you will feel anxious or guilty if you don’t.
Assertion is commonly mistaken for aggression, but understand that to be assertive means that you are standing up for your basic human rights. Aggression is a matter of forcefully violating the rights of another, and there is no excuse for such behavior.
An important part of assertiveness is showing consideration for the feelings and rights of others, without letting your kindness or empathy be used as an opening for manipulation. Realize that background conditioning has made everyone good at manipulation and people will use your vulnerability as an opening. The better they know you, the better they know your vulnerable areas. So, the assertive individual becomes an expert at expressing his rights, needs and feelings in a kind way. She shows equal respect for the same rights, needs and feelings of others.
People often avoid being assertive because they feel others will dislike or avoid them if they speak up and say what they really feel. That is not a rational justification for allowing yourself to be manipulated. If, by any chance, someone stopped liking you because you said “no,” are you going to miss their friendship? If you are one of the millions who go through life thinking that a wrong word, refusal or assertion is going to end a relationship, it is time to realize that is simply not how things work. Such thinking is usually based on such a strong need to be liked that you sacrifice your own self-respect, often without realizing it. You also probably fail to distinguish between being liked and being respected.
Now is the time to become an assertive individual. You have basic human rights that others are going to have to learn to respect, just as you will respect their rights. As a free, assertive individual, you will actually learn to give and take more fairly than ever before, thus becoming of more service to yourself and others. Now is the time to become relaxed about revealing yourself through your words and actions and to begin to communicate openly, directly, and honestly with the people in your life.
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Guest Post From Gert McQueen, birth sister of Joan Wheeler March 4, 2010 March 27, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.Tags: adoption reunion, bullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, faulty memory, First Amendment: Free Speech, fish stories, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, misrepresenting one's credentials, misrepresenting one's employment, name-dropping, Narcissistic personality disorder, passing assumptions off as truth, spreading untruths
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My oldest sister Gert, who has no computer, (got that?) recently went to a public library and emailed this statement and asked me to post it here. — Ruth
From the eldest Sippel sister Gert, in respond to Joan’s book of fiction.
Having finally gotten my hands on this book of revelations! Do not relatives of Joan have the right to have their own emotions related to what she writes about them or their life or are we suppose to just allow someone to continue to lie and misrepresent us. If people have individual web sites, where they speak their own minds, like Joan, why is it that Joan’s family members are not allowed to have the same rights as she does and speak their mind. I am speaking my own mind, I have that right just as she does. No one can silent another, that went out with the Inquistion. I use techniques of Constructive Criticism and Higher Criticism when I read and comment on any book. I learned that from my years of research and writing and it is used routinely in the scholarly world.
On page 645 of Joan’s book she says she has worked in the field of social work. Would she please let her readers know when and where she worked? I’m really curious where she worked and gained her experience and you should too if the work she presents is to be believed. I took training at a Domestic HotLine center for a month and attended a couple of group sessions where my stories helped other people, does that give me creditials to say that I worked in those fields, even though I don’t hold any degrees. I also held a job for three months helping abused children, does that give me creditials to say I’m a social worker and have great experience working with abused children.
On the title pages of the book, she writes ‘some very traumatic events have been omitted’ as if to say hey there is much more that I can and will write about. Really folks all that statement says is there’s a ‘hint’ that the content of her book is going to be so sensational you must read it. It’s a come-on statement aimed at getting attention.
She says what she writes is from memory ‘without embellishment’. Really now! Who doesn’t tell a fish story when retelling from memory! If it isn’t embellished it certainly is highly subjective in nature and anyone who knows anything about ‘non-fiction’ knows that it better be object in nature if it is to be believed to be a true representation of the topic. This book should be listed as fiction.
In her acknowledgements she sure likes to drop a lot of names, as if that makes her important. It’s another publishing gimmick people, just like the foreward by a named Doctor. He calls the book a ‘reunion in progress’, but from whose point of view, totally from the adoptee, not the families! That’s biased people! You can’t have a work of non-fiction without being objective and unbiased.
She says in ‘why she wrote the book’, it was ‘to tell the truth from my point of view’ again that is totally subjective in nature and can not be considered non-fiction. Anyone’s point of view by nature is subjective and therefore does not meet the standard of truth. She ‘invites’ others, namely her family members to do ‘the hard work’ of telling their truth by writing a book. Wrong thinking. Writing a book is not the only way to tell the truth. Speaking for myself, I am doing the hard work by living my life and I don’t have any inner need to exploit the rest of my family by writing a book of fiction to play with myself.
Even on her facts she doesn’t get it right. My father went to night school to get a degree in engineering. He was a city engineer for about 30 years. He was not poor, he probably was part of that class called the ‘working poor’ like many people, including myself, have been in at one time or another. He was never out of work, like Joan is. He never cried poverty like Joan portrays him as.
There will be more from me as my life allows me the time to look at this book of subjectively fiction












