Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, gossip, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, Lies, passing assumptions off as truth, spreading untruths, stupidity
At the Adoptive Families Circle website, Joan keeps spewing crap from her diarrhea mouth. Here are three comments from there. The first from Joan, and then 2 from me. Joan had decided to make a comment on a thread called “All Birth Mothers on Drugs and with Criminal Records?” And kept up the same old family garbage that had NOTHING to do with the topic of the thread. Gert came on and left a statement. Which pissed Joan off. And of course, Joan can’t keep her diarrhea mouth shut, so she went off again. Accusing us of stupid things. So I stepped in. Joan’s bullshit comment doesn’t even deserve answering EXCEPT where she fucking dishonors our family AGAIN. – Joan’s comment is in italics.
All Birth Mothers on Drugs and with Criminal Records?
JOAN:
am tired of my older sisters stalking me and harassing me.
Please note that after any comment I make, it is followed by an attack from one or both of my sisters.
This latest comment was merely copied and pasted, except for the lines “I find it disgusting that on a public thread she would repeat these lies about MY PARENTS….all she is doing is EXPLOITING my parents and this is not right!”, from another thread she posted on after she found me there (http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups/topic/3858/ Private adoption vs Agency).
I would like to bring this hostile, confrontational behavior to the attention of the moderators of this blog.
I declare publicly that am not the poster called Pilgrim. I am a social worker and an adoptee. I challenge my sisters to present their credentials. I also state that the poster called “eldersibling” is lying when she states she is an “adopted mother”. She was never adopted by anyone. What she says about me and our stepmother is wrong. Our step mother came to me, crying, because she had to sign relinquishment papers for her husband, our father, to adopt her younger daughter, not the other way around.
This has been the problem since my sisters found me in 1974. They twist stories, make things up, gang together, and attack me.
I have made it clear I want nothing more to do with them. No attempts were made by “eldersister” to reconcile with me. I will not fall for anything they say, as when I did in the past, they turned on me again.
Their statements about me are wrong, as they have been for the past 38 years (after they found me). I suspect that during my childhood before they found me that these sisters had been gossiping about me behind my back. Keep in mind I had absolutely no knowledge that they ever existed because my adoptive parents never wanted me to know the truth.
I have been hunted down all of my life. Nothing I have said on any thread in this website, or any other website, has been lying, or threatening, or naming them. They, however, come here, list my initials, thus leading to my real identity. If I wanted to use my real name here, I would do just that.
The only thing I ask is for them to leave me alone. I wish them no harm even though they continually attempt to do me harm in one way or another.
Many adoptees who post here do so because of the negative experiences we have had. Because we have had “bad experiences” should not be a cause to dismiss what we say. It is a warning. These comments do not come from textbooks. They come from those who have lived adoption. Before considering seriously adopting, you have you before your eyes one of many possible implications of adoption by observing the interaction between my sisters and myself. NOTE: I have NO contact with them in real life at all. They have been told to stay away from me for many decades and they still harass me with the intent to harm me.
Since this thread was a put-down on birthmothers (All Birth Mothers on Drugs and with Criminal Records?) I decided to let you know that not all mothers who lose their infants and children to adoption are drug addicts and criminals. I cringe with this accusation as my mother died. I am insulted by the assumptions here at this website. You pre-adoptive and adoptive parents have such low esteem for the parents of your adoptees. THAT I find disturbing. It was not my mother who relinquished me, but my father, and he was not at all a drug addict, nor a criminal. My parents were married for 10 years.
Now, for anyone out there who still believes what my eldest sister says: “I find it disgusting that on a public thread she would repeat these lies about MY PARENTS….all she is doing is EXPLOITING my parents and this is not right!”, I challenge you to find what I have said to be exploitive.
Obviously, my sisters have been deeply affected by the death of our mother and my relinquishment to adoption and whatever happened in their childhoods. They drew me into their lives and used my naivety (I was a teenager of 18 when they contacted me) against me. They never wanted me to learn about adoption and put me down when I did. I am the adopted one, they grew up together. They defend adoption, yet that is what tore our family apart, and that is what tore my adoptive family apart when the truth was told, against the wishes of my adoptive parents who never wanted me to know the truth. So, by my sisters defending adoption, they are accepting the very institution that caused so much havoc in our lives.
Reunions are both good and bad. Readers here do not know my relationships with other relatives or who I am as a person. You don’t know my adoptive parents, nor do you know what my life as an adoptee has been like. When adoptees search, they do so for similar reasons “normal” people go on Ancestry do com. For adoptees, no, we are not supposed to know, and when we do, we are the troublemakers. There are plenty of stereotypes of adoptees out there. We who come here, do so to speak for the little adoptees who cannot speak for themselves.
So, people on this website feel attacked by me? Then by all means, message me and talk with me. None of you have done that. But go to the older sisters who hunt me down, yes, listen to them, they are the older ones who know better than I do. Listen to what they say about me. If you read their comments, you’ll see that in reality, their sole purpose is to attack me rather than making any meaningful comment concerning adoption itself.
I would simply ask the moderators to closely examine the comments made by “eldersister” (and the other sister, “birthsibling” on other threads) and decide whether this is the kind of discussion they in fact wish to promote.
Posted by halforphan56 on May 09, 2012 at 12:27am
RUTH – first comment:
I have not spoken anything but the truth. And this is the only other thread that I have posted on, so halforphan’s statement “(and the other sister, “birthsibling” on other threads)” is wrong. Before she wrote that, I had posted on only ONE thread – singular, not plural. One of halforphan’s faults is that she exaggerates and overblows everything. If she reads 2 posts – she reports it as 5. If she she get one legitimate phone call by ONE sister (to inform of the death of an aunt) – it is reported as “numerous harrasing phone calls by my three sisters.” and calls the police to make a report on all three of us.(???) – but I digress, just want you guys to take her statements with a little bit of salt. For example, her accusations that I gave her initials that lead to her real name. – Before I came to this site, halforphan filled out her profile here, and listed a link to her blog Forbidden Family – which contains her real name. So she left a way for readers here to find her real name. I never named her in my posts. only initials. This is what I mean that halforphan either outright lies about me or misrepresents what I have said or done.
As an infertile woman, who once considered adopting, and beng “touched by adoption” – my youngest sibling was relinquished to adoption – and having been in an “adoption reunion” – I have every right to be at this website.
I have every right to learn by being here – because my youngest sibling keeps saying I am ignorant of some things.
However, if I find an untruth or misrepresentation of me or my family, do I not have the right to speak up with the truth?
My youngest sibling blithely puts out hurtful stories of my family -such as this: “It took me years to figure out why she said that to me. Turns out, my extended adoptive family heard rumors that my natural father killed my mother, and other sordid tales. The truth is that my father did not kill my mother; he did not want her to suffer any more so he said no to experimental cancer treatment (1956).”
Jesus, it happened 56 years ago – LET IT GO and give the whole family some peace. It hurts to see these old family resentments and accusations of killing and such repeated all over the internet. This is what eldestbirthsibling meant that it is disgusting. Because it is.
All that needs to be said is:
My mother died of cancer three months after I was born. My father could not take care of 5 little kids, and gave me up for adoption.
My adoptive parents and other adoptive relatives told me gossip about my birth family.
When I was 18, my birth siblings found me and we had a reunion. While discovering my birthfamily, I became aware of some personal resentments towards my birthfather by my uncles. For various personal reasons, my reunion with my birthsisters and other birthfamily members, turned sour.”
WHY must old hurtful gossipy, UNTRUE stories about my mother be forever dragged all over the internet?
WHY must lies be told about ME all over the place?
Lies are being replaced with truth. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less.
Posted by Birth Sibling on May 09, 2012 at 9:37am – Edit Reply
RUTH – second comment:
My mother is dead. My father is dead. halforpan’s adotpive parents are both dead. With the exception of two, all siblings and sibling-in-law of my mother are dead.
Let the dead rest in peace!
Even while living, my father accepted the fact that his former-brothers in law acted out in their grief that their sister died of cancer. She died swiftly. She went into the hospital in Dec. 1955, had the baby prematurely, had exploratory surgery on Jan. 19. She was discovered to be full of cancer. Nothing could be done. My uncles had a hard time accepting that and placed those feelings to my father. Three months later, my mother was dead. It was also HER wish not to go undergo any more treatments.
NOW THAT THE STORY IS TOLD WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG (on this thread or elsewhere on the interent) – would you please stop repeating the same old tired garbage – please shut up about my mother and father and my uncles. We each have blogs for that.
What my uncles felt toward my father:
1. had nothing to do with your adoption.
2. had nothing to do with your adoption reunion
3. has nothing to do with your adoption reform work.
4. does not need to be repeated ad nausuem
5. whatever lies or gossip your adoptive family told you has no bearing on MY family.
the thread is about birthmoms on drugs and criminal charges? Why is our family’s old stories here? Who put them here first? – as an exploitation – to get sympathy for yourself. Stop!
comments for THIS blog post:
- 1. gertmcqueen -
Gert here…
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Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, impetigo, Lies, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
On Sunday, April 15, 2012, on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, Joan writes this following comment:
Re: Race, Religion, and Rescue in Adoption: Conference, NYC, October 2012
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 04:47:03 PM »
My adoptive mother always rescued orphans — baby birds, baby rabbits, puppies, kittens — she was raised in an orphange. It made her feel good to take in “strays”. And, no doubt, she loved animals and the other children she helped raise. I was the only one adopted. Yeah, there was that certain outlook in our home. At one point, Mom threw it in my face that “When we got you, you had sores all over your body!” And she said it with such sarcastic, rub it in your face kinda tone. Alright, I was an infant of 4 months, was that MY fault? Did that mean they rescued me?
On March 25, 2010, I blogged about this crap in my post “Joan tells a vicious lie about her own godparents on page 319 of Forbidden Family” Here is an excerpt of that post:
On page 319, Joan writes: “I also suffered through inconsistency of primary care as my mother lay dying in a hospital room. When I was released from the hospital my godparents took me in. As my adoptive mother told me, when I was four months old my father handed me over to them in family court. They took me home and were shocked to find body sores. My godparents, I was told by my adoptive mother, didn’t take good hygienic care of me in the few weeks they had me. My new parents nursed me back to health and made me feel guilty for it years later. “You had sores all over your body when we got you!” Mom yelled at me. I never understood why she yelled at me as I grew up. She made me feel as if it were my fault. Perhaps I should feel grateful that I was saved.”
On Friday, March 19, 2010, at 8pm, I spoke on the phone with my uncle, who was Joan’s godfather and who took care of her while my mother was in the hospital. My uncle says that Joan had impetigo, and she had them when she was discharged from the hospital. He told me his wife did everything she could to clear up the rash, and was just getting a hold of it, when my father came for Joan and gave her to the Wheelers. My uncle said, “Ann raised 4 children and did the best job. She took good care of Joan.” My uncle was outraged to hear this lie about him and his late wife. He also told me he had already fired off an email to Joan to “straighten her out.”
So once again, we see how Joan takes something that was told to her and instead of researching it, repeats the lie. She has had many opportunities in the past to ask our uncle if this story was true. But then again, could we have trusted Joan to tell the truth? No, because we see again and again, that Joan interprets facts to support her conclusions about things, if not outright lying about things.
Joan does say in her book and on the internet that her adoptive mother told her this nonsense about her having “body sores.” But does she tell her readers the truth of this gossip mongering? Does she defend her birth-uncle? NO! But all over her book and on the internet, she’s admonishing both her birth and adoptive families for gossip mongering!
She may have said on page 319 of her book that it was her adoptive mother that told her this crap – but she doesn’t follow through with THE TRUTH! And leaves her readers thinking this was the truth – when it wasn’t! Readers of her both her book and this latest retelling of this gossip on the adoptee forum, will leave with the impression that my uncle and his wife didn’t take good care of Joan while she lived with her. This is poor writing at best, and at worst, leaves the reader believing a piece of trashy gossip. Nice going Joan, I though all over your book you don’t like gossip mongering. I thought your book was the truth.
By leaving that vital piece of information out, Joan’s book is NOT the truth – and the result? My uncle was livid when I told him what was in the book. And he wants nothing more to do with her. She was kicked off his facebook page, and just recently his daughter, who just hadn’t gotten around to it before, kicked Joan off her facebook page.
So I suppose I will get the blame there. Of course, as usual, Joan does or says something stupid, insults people and gets them mad at her. And as usual, Ruth will get the blame. Yes, yes, it was Ruth who told her uncle and cousin what was in the book, so I am guilty of reporting it. But am I guilty of writing that gossip in the first place? NO! But Joan, in her diseased mind, will NOT take responsibility for her own actions. She will stew about her uncle and cousin not wanting contact with her, and think to herself, “It’s Ruth’s fault. She told them.” Never mind that they can read English and find that shit out for themselves. Everything all boils down to being Ruth’s fault. Ruth does nothing – but it’s all her fault.
That adoptive mother of Joan’s was a sick individual – she talked trash about us – the birth family and Joan came away believing it. And if she “re-writes” her book and explains that she had impetigo from the hospital – she had better give me credit for it – because as of March 2010, it was ME who reported the truth, and my uncle will not have told her about it – because he wants nothing more to do with her. And if the re-write contains this truth – it will show that she was NOT forthcoming with the truth in the first edition – which means all her statements that her book is a truthful account — FALSE!
1. gertmcqueen – April 16, 2012
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Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, innuendos, Lies, mental illness, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, rumors, SLANDER, spreading untruths
In Gert’s recent post “The beginnings of Joan Wheeler’s Internet campaign against her birth siblings (part 1), Gert revisits the early posts in Joan’s blog and tells about Joan’s ranting on her website on December 9 and 10, 2009. I left a comment on Gert’s post, but I want to post it all here.
But first, I want to address a paragraph from a post of Joan’s from December 11, 2009: Adoption Gone Bad – Not Reunion, where Joan is rambling on about (ho-hum) her crappy adoption:
“Meanwhile, my father was not aware that meddling relatives from his deceased wife’s family would spread filty lies about him killing his wife and that he “could not stand the sight of me” that’s why he “got rid of me”. THAT was the content of hate mail sent to me for decades from anonymous letters whom I suspect are members of my extended adoptive family who listened to these lies and beleived (sic) them.”
Really? My father KILLED my mother? She died of cancer. Her relatives said that? I’d like to know who said that. Because I had never heard it. Here is what happened:
In early winter 1955, Mom, who was pregnant, was not feeling good. By Christmas, she had to go to the hospital. They couldn’t find out what was wrong. On January 7, 1956, she miscarried her baby at 7 months gestation. The baby was placed in an incubator and survived. Mom had exploratory surgery on January 19. She was found to be full of cancer, nothing could be done, so they closed her up.
Meanwhile, her brothers, asked my father to send her to Roswell Park Cancer Institute. I am unclear why, perhaps he didn’t have proper health insurance in those days, but my father said he couldn’t afford a specialist. The brothers talked it over and they agreed to pool their money. (as told to me in a telephone conversation with my uncle in the spring of 2010). Meanwhile, (and this was told to me by my mother’s sister), my mother knew that it was hopeless, and also refused to see a specialist. This is not uncommon, at the end stages of life, sometimes people just “know” it is their time – why bother with treatments etc.? – My aunt also told me she told her brothers this and to “let it go.”
My mother died on March 28, 1956. My uncles, in their grief, blamed my father. This also is not uncommon. Funerals sometimes bring out the worst in people. BUT they blamed him for her death – by not calling a specialist, but NOT killing her. There is a difference.
During the 1960′s, two of my uncles and my aunt lived in the city of Buffalo. I saw them frequently. The other two uncles lived where it was necessary to have a car to see them. We did not have a car in our family. But I did see my uncles from time to time.
I well remember my cousin Judy’s wedding in the early 60′s. I was there with my father. Judy’s husband Jerry, well respected my father. Anytime the family got together for funerals or weddings, or family reunions, my cousins all showed respect for “UNCLE Leonard.” My uncles, yes, because of the bad feelings, did not associate with my father. But they never disrespected him.
There were two incidents, in 1985 and in 1990, where my Uncle Mike snubbed my father. And my father took offense to it. I told him both times to just let it go. There were no words spoken between Mike and my father – just a snubbing – and in the long run – who cares? – Uncle Mike, and indeed ALL my mother’s brothers – despite their not liking my father, NEVER held any of this against us, Leonard’s children. We were always welcomed in their houses. And loved.
So to refute what Joan blabs on nonsensically and irresponsibly:
1. My father did not “murder” my mother.
2. My mother’s brothers did not ever say he “murdered” or “killed” my mother.
3. Yes, they held it against my father (wrongly) for not taking my mother to a specialist.
4. Yes, there were bad feelings down the years towards my father.
5. Except for 2 short and relatively insignificant instances, my uncles never disrespected my father.
6. My uncles raised their children to be respectful to my father.
7. My uncles never disrespected me or my siblings, despite their not liking our father.
8. My cousins never disrespected me or my father.
Now here is my comment that I posted to Gert’s post, and it certainly applies to this BULLSHIT that people said my father killed my mother as well:
Joan gets herself into a rage and starts talking nonsense. She does it in real life, I’ve seen in letters she’s written to me – and now we see it on the internet. She will start out quietly and rationally, then rapidly starts talking about things that have NOT been in the conversation – she then pulls those things into the conversation and starts accusing the other person of it. Then her voice becomes rapid and high-pitched and she ends up screaming. And swearing. (maybe she has Tourette’s). Any chance of the other person to continue an intelligent conversation, or even denying what Joan is accusing them of is gone. You have NO chance to stand up for yourself – because if she ‘s in person, your ears are hurting, a fight now starts. If on the phone, as soon as you begin to defend yourself, Joan hangs up on you.
She is an irrational mentally ill person. Like the stewardess who had the melt-down on the plane a couple of weeks ago, Joan is screaming nonsense. The stewardess was yelling the plane was going to crash and she wasn’t going to be responsible – before they even took off – and so does Joan – she takes off on a nonsense tangent – things you don’t even know what she’s talking about – things that happened to her, but not to you. But in her delusions, she believes that YOU did it. She speculates as to your motives. Every little look on your face, gesture of your arm, is interpreted. And usually wrongly. And then – she’s got you!
“Aha!”, she thinks, “I just KNEW it, she thinks I’m a shit head, she’s the one who called me this morning and hung on me. (it was probably an innocent wrong number) – yeah, those f’ing birth sisters of mine – they think I should have died,then they would have had mom to themselves. Well, I’ll show them. I’ll call the police on them. I’ll write to the mayor about them. yeah, because I know that’s what they did to me. They hate me. They’ve hated me for years. I know everything they’ve done.”
And on and on she goes. Then she starts BELIEVING the things that we’ve “supposedly” done. And reports those things as true.
This is a sick woman who seriously needs to be committed to the psych center. She is always whining that she wants HER privacy respected, but as we see in her rants, she blabbed OUR personal business to the internet.
– end of comment –
Yep – Joan gets a wild idea in her head and goes off and running with it. Never mind it never happened, it isn’t the truth, it’s a deluded imagining of someone who is very clearly mentally ill. To post on the internet that 1. my father killed my mother. 2. my uncles said this about my mother – IS SMEARING THE REPUTATIONS OF MY FATHER AND MY UNCLES. And make no mistake about it – JOAN LOVES TO SMEAR PEOPLE’S REPUTATIONS. I don’t give a shit if she says she got hate mail from her adoptive family down through the years that said that about my father and my uncles – JOAN HAS NO BUSINESS PUTTING THAT CRAP ON THE INTERNET – SHE IS DAMAGING THE REPUTATION OF DEAD PEOPLE WHO ARE NO LONGER HERE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES! Rumors, innuendos, gossip, and only JOAN’S version of my family’s dynamics.
WHERE ARE THE LETTERS THAT SAYS MY UNCLES ACCUSE MY FATHER OF KILLING MY MOTHER JOAN? POST THEM. — Bah, Joan is liar, she has no letters – all we have is her hearsay that her adoptive family wrote that shit. I don’t believe for one minute that ANYbody wrote that shit.
We have seen time and again, the past two and a half years, Joan throwing accusations out left and right against a whole bunch of people on her blog, on her cyberbullying page, on the adult adoptee forum, and on various other places on the internet. Accusations that are NEVER substantiated with any kind of PROOF! Meanhwile, all over this blog, and our other blog, I have posted photographs, documents, actual court documents, written letters (by Joan) that prove without a shadow of a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a filthy liar. Because of actual court documents that proved Joan lied in her so-called “truthful” book, her book got yanked by the publisher. Joan needs now to remove her cyberbullying page and ALL mention of her birth sisters on her Forbidden Family website. She needs to stop spreading rumors and lies about us and our family. Until these demands are met, this blog and it’s sister blog will stay up and we will continue to harvest EVERY word that Joan says on the internet – and if it is NOT the truth – we will post the truth.
The only way to stop us Joan, is to remove all mention of us from your blog, and come forth publicly and admit you lied in your book and to publicly apologize to us and ALL members of our family for your smearing good people’s names through the mud.
where does Joan get off painting everybody as murderers, harassers, and downright despicable people?
Seems to me that I know who the despicable person is – and their name is Joan Mary Wheeler!
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Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, whining
This is very wierd. In the past, when Joan has falsely accused me and my sisters of shutting down her blog(s) and shutting HER up (oh how I wish we had THAT power), she has been very vocal about it. But the ONE time we DID get her lies yanked off the internet, she has nothing to say!!!!
In the post titled “Joan Wheeler issues press release for her “new” book – no, it’s still the stupid book of idiotic lies, and even her press release is bull” posted on June 22, 2010, are the statements that we Three Sippel Sisters wrote to the website that hosted the “press release” for her “new” book. The book Forbidden Family came out late November 2009. It is now 7 months later. This book is not new. This website is merely another vanity website, a place where Joan can “publicize” her lying book, trying to drum up business. I really could care less, EXCEPT in her press release, was yet ANOTHER slam against her birth family. She claimed that her birth family “terrorized her to the brink of suicide.” THIS IS SLANDER AND LIBEL! If Joan was at the brink of suicide, it’s because she needs professional help, or else she threatens suicide for attention. And she did it in the past – to me, in my apartment in 1986. Because her then husband Colby moved to South Carolina for a better life and gave her an ultimatum – move to South Carolina (where she would have to leave her new-found birth family in Buffalo) or get a divorce. She came to my apartment and was whining about it, and actually threatened suicide. I don’t remember her exact words, but I could tell it was just for attention – it was all dramatics. Joan should have gotten a career as an actress!
Well, I fired off a separate complaint to the website stating that Joan’s lying statements about her birth family driving her to suicide was slander and libel and even told them about that suicide “threat” in 1986.
We Three Sippel Sisters are taking credit where credit is due: we fired off our complaints to the website, and they yanked Joan’s bullshit press release off the internet.
So why does Joan need to issue a press release months after her lying book has been published? Because it is not selling! I could have told Joan a long time ago, that her book was NOT going to sell. Why? Because it is NOT a true book about adoption reform, it is merely Joan’s “payback” to everyone in her life that ever disagreed with her or made her angry. The book is not about her adoption or her reunion. If it was, it wouldn’t have stuff in there about MY life, like I was a neighborhood activist in the 1990′s. What does that have to do with HER adoption that took place in 1956 or her reunion with her birth family that took place in 1974? I will tell you what it has to do with even adoption reform: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. So why is it in her book? It is just a bit of tawdry gossip about me, that is all. Because I live in the “inner city” where conditions are less than perfect, so she paints me as white trash. And yes, conditions in my neighborhood weren’t all that great, but they have greatly improved. Why? BECAUSE I AM A NEIGHBORHOOD ACTIVIST! I organized and headed a block club on my street. I had discussions with the police chief of Buffalo, the mayor, my district councilman, and others. Joan holds me up to ridicule in her book just because I was/am a neighborhood activist. What kind of person puts down another person for their efforts in trying to improve the quality of life in their hometown, for fighting drug activities, for taking a stand against guns and violence in our streets? I will tell you what kind of person does that: a screwed up nutball like Joan Wheeler, who is so full of hate towards me that she talks about me like I was slime. Yet whines and complains if somebody “talks” about her! She wants it both ways! JOAN will put down other people, but gets mad if they put her down. Typical narcissistic bitchy behavior.
If I am white trash because I live in the “inner city,” well so is Joan, because she lived only a mile and a half from me – also in the inner city. When she puts people down for living in the inner city, she puts herself down. It is called “transference.” There are things about HER life, HER personality, that she can’t stand, and instead having the guts to be a WOMAN and changing what she doesn’t like in her life, she will transfer the putdowns onto other people and put them down. And her favorite scapegoat is ME, and from time to time my other sisters. Gosh, I just had a thought – if I were to have a heart attack and die tomorrow – Joan’s whole reason for living (blaming me for everything that is wrong in her life) – will be gone! Maybe she will up and commit suicide. Oh my! I better be sure to take my Lipitor and my Omega 3 fish oil capsules to keep my heart healthy. I don’t want to get blamed, even posthumously, for Joan’s suicide! roflmao1 and believe you me, Joan would blame me – she would leave a suicide note – it would read: “My birthsister Ruth died of a heart attack last month. Things are going awful in my life. My book isn’t selling. The readership on my blog is down. In fact just last week, another post of mine got shut down by her. Yes, I know she died, but I just KNOW she is responsible. I don’t know who else to blame for my own screwups, Ruth is gone. What am I going do? I can’t blame anybody else. So I will just end it all.”
roflmao! – just another example of Joan Wheeler Speak!
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Posted by Ruth in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, dishonesty, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, misrepresenting one's employment, stupidity, whining
We Three Sippel Sisters, having yesterday responded AGAIN to charges of harrassment, gossiping about, lying about, stalking, cyber-stalking, bullying, cyber-bullying and interference with/to Joan Mary Wheeler, have decided that from now on, we will simply ignore the little brat and her temper tantrums and her whines.
I think we have said about 5 times already that Joan does not want anyone, including her 3 birth sisters, to do ANY of the things I listed above, but she will do ALL of the above to us, and others.
We will NOT however, be intimidated from gathering any research about Joan’s continued harassment, gossiping about, lying about, stalking, cyber-stalking, bullying, cyber-bullying and interference with/to US and OUR FAMILY. Joan is not the Queen of the internet. Nor is she our mother. She is nothing but a hypocritical, lying, 54-year-old brat, who continuously goes whining to her adoption buddies or throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, or sees that the world just is not going to revolve in the way that she wants it to.
I was watching The Young and the Restless today. One of the characters said an interesting thing to another character. I want to say this to Joan:
THE ONLY ONE TORMENTING YOU IS ….. YOU!
Think about it Joan. You are all alone in the world. You have pushed EVERYONE away from you. Your birth family, your adoptive family, your friend Bonnie, who gave me your computer, many others. Do you not see a pattern? YOU, and YOU alone are doing it all to YOURSELF. And you can’t face that. So you lie about everyone (including yourself) to shift the blame onto everyone else. You lost ME, because you stole from me. But you wanted to blame ME for your loss of me, your birth sister, so you concocted little schemes like sending forged father’s day cards and notes supposedly from your son to my fiance, but addressing the envelopes to me. Just so I would respond and then you could parade my response around as an incident of “harrassment.” click here to read about a letter that came to my house in June 1993. The envelope was addressed to me. It was in Joan’s handwriting. with her return address, but inside, there was a letter supposedly from her 10 year old son written to my husband. We had also recieved a Father’s Day Card under the same circumstances. This post contains the actual letter that her “son” wrote, along with a sample of Joan’s own handwriting. There are a lot of similarities. The following letters are all the same: a, e, r, t, with the same way that Joan has of mixing printed and cursive. Something a 10 year old wouldn’t do. Also, the letter is addressed Dear John, but if Dennis had written it, it would have been addressed as UNCLE John. And like I said, why would Joan mark the envelope to ME? With her return address? Shouldn’t the envelope been addressed to John, with the return address as Dennis. I no longer have the envelope, but I think the letter speaks for itself. What kind of woman uses her own child to engineer a response from someone, then use that response and say it is “harassment.” no, the real harassment has always been FROM JOAN.
THOSE DAYS ARE OVER! People are now seeing through your manipulations, your game-playing, your schemes and your lies. You don’t know it yet, but we have a surprise for you.
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. And Joan, my dear, your days of fooling people are OVER!
1. chayelet – May 21, 2010 [Edit]
2. Gert – May 22, 2010 [Edit]
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Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, faulty memory, First Amendment: Free Speech, fish stories, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
roflmao! So we are accused of cyber stalking again. um, correct me if I’m wrong – but if a thing is put out on the internet, then it is meant to be READ? And just how would Joan Wheeler know what is on our blog, and that we are “cyber-stalking”? By reading something here on our blog? Well, as you see, DICTATOR Joan Wheeler wants to come here to read our blog, but she declares that we CANNOT read hers. geez!
Joan, my dear, you do not own the internet. And if you are putting MY name on YOUR adoption discussion forum, than I claim the right to see what is being said about ME! YOU do not own MY name, I do. If you talk about me on the net, I want to know about it.
Oh, but whiny little Joan Wheeler, all over her book bitches and moans when she finds out (or even imagines) when people are talking about HER. But she thinks she can talk about ME and doesn’t see that is a double standard.
Grow up Joan. “oh, they’re talking about me again.” Well, you talked about me on May 8, 2010 and directed your buddies here. It’s ok for YOU to cyber stalk ME and put MY name out on discussion forums, but we can’t do the same? And FYI: We are NOT doing the same. We are not going on a bunch of websites talking about you. We could care less about you. And this blog is NOT about YOU: it is about ME and MY SISTERS, refuting YOUR lies. And we are not talking about YOUR life, we are talking about OUR lives. Your life gets mentioned when it has affected ours. And by they way, YOU talked about OUR lives in your book! So what’s your beef? What an idiot! Joan can talk about MY life, but I can’t talk about hers. Joan can go on the internet and talk about ME, but she doesn’t want ME to go on the internet and talk about HER. Talk about being a bully! Joan Wheeler – consummate cyber bully. Like she has been all her life. She has no self-esteem, so to get her way, she resorts to bullying. Do as I say, not as I do, is her command! Joan, YOU DO NOT COMMAND ME! I do as I see you do. uh, I mean, isn’t that what you want? Us to think like you? No? Well what the hell DO you want? pshaw, I don’t care what you want. You sure don’t care what I want, and never did. I was just a piece of dirt to you. A piece of dirt you thought you could steal from and get away with it. well, in a sense you did, because you never repaid the money you stole, but you know, what goes around, comes around. You’ll pay for all the crap you did to me and my sisters. And I think it’s coming round. If isn’t evident at the moment, it will shortly. I don’t know when, but things are going to blow up in your face. lol.
oh, and thanks for the publicity to my blog. oh! sending more people over here to read all about the crap you did to us and the lies you’ve told about me and my family! roflmao! stupid is as stupid does. thank ye, thank ye, thank ye! lol — well peeps, you are all quite welcome to come here and read anything you want! That’s why it’s here! I WANT people to read it. Why else would I be typing this stuff up and publishing it? Just to practice my typing skills? lol.
by the way, Joan, nice job obtaining John’s birth certificate. thanks a bunch. lol. Miss Know-it-all, knows all about birth certificates. Promised John to help him get his, but couldn’t. Why not? I thought she was the EXPERT in such things. tsk tsk. No worries, we went and got it ourselves, with absolutely no problem.
everybody, on three, sob for poor little Joanie. She can dish it out, but can't take it. boo hoo. cry for the little Joanie. sob
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- 1. Gert – May 20, 2010 [Edit]
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2. Ruth – May 20, 2010 [Edit] -
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Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, bullying, emotional abuse, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, spreading untruths
1. Joan puts out a book that gives erroneous details of MY life.
2. Joan goes on the internet and gives erroneous details of MY life.
3. In her book, Joan tells lies about me and my family.
4. On her blog, Joan tells lies about me and my family.
5. Joan is now asking her friends to gang-assault WordPress with complaints to have me shut down.
6. I have never asked my friends to do this to her.
7. Joan threw a hissy fit when WordPress censored one of her posts. She said “I will not be censored.” But she wants to censor me?
Excuse Me. Joan, are YOU the only one who can write about the life of the Sippel family? Last time I looked, MY name is Sippel. YOU wrote a book about MY mother. MY family! Then I have the same right to write a blog about MY family. And what I am doing, is pointing out where YOU tell lies about MY mother and MY father, and ME!
Adoptee friends of Joan: Do you see how you are being manipulated by Joan? Did she not write the other day a post and provide a link about “gang-stalking?” And now she is asking you guys to do the very same thing to me? To gang up and send a bunch of complaints to WordPress? That is called “gang-stalking” my friends, and Joan just asked you do the very same thing she is accusing me and my sisters of doing to her. THINK ABOUT IT! Stop and ask yourself this question: If I read someplace somebody writes a blog and tells a fabrication of my life, surely I have the right to correct that fabrication?
Well, don’t I have that right? Joan says in her book that I was arrested and placed on probation in 1993. I PROMISE YOU PEOPLE ON THE GRAVE OF MY MOTHER THAT I WAS NEVER PLACED ON PROBATION. I have produced scans of actual court documents that PROVE THIS. I have proven that Joan is a liar. But she will keep telling you people that she is not a liar? And ask why I am writing this blog?
I AM WRITING THIS BLOG TO CLEAR MY REPUTATION THAT JOAN HAS SMEARED IN HER BOOK. I have never been arrested in my life. Joan says that I have a criminal record. THIS IS A LIE!
Now go ahead, and say that I am “unhinged.” Really. The unhinged one is Joan. I have never even thought of suicide, but Joan admits that she has been in the past. Her book tells of one fight after another with just about every one in her life! gods I am sorrry that she has so many psychological problems, but THAT’S NOT MY FAULT. She lies and says that I have placed thousands of annoyance calls to her house and swore at her kids. THIS IS NOT TRUE!
But does she say what she said to me on November 3, 2009, when I called her to tell her a family member died? She went off on me, screaming obscenities at me. Then called the police on me and named my other 2 sisters, who had nothing to do with the phone call. Then she called MY FATHER, an 85 year old man, and screamed at him! Because he gave me her phone number. I was protecting him, he sounded tired when I called him about my aunt. So I thought I would make the call. Well jesus christ, flog me with whipps for placing a phone call to tell adopted Joan that the women she was originally named for DORIS died. well f me!!
The verbal abuse I got from Joan was horrible. Obscenities. I burst into tears. Oh, but only JOAN has feelings huh? What about the rest of us? MY MOTHER DIED TOO YOU KNOW. When I was three years old. I HAD NO MOTHER. But Joan continues to write about her talking about xrays showing tumors. dam it, that IS MY MOTHER SHE IS DISHONORING. Joan writes disgusting rumorss in her book that my father wanted to bury my mother in the nude! Admits it’s a rumor, than all over the book, she laments when people spread rumors about HER!
But it’s ok for Joan to spread a hurtful rumor about my father like that. And now I’m trying to get out the truth, and she doesn’t like it.
my father loved my mother. I and love them both, even tho my mamma died and I didn’t know her.
Joan is nothing but a bully, who throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, and won’t fight her own battles. Goes crying to her friends. ‘HELP ME.’ Instead of being a grwon woman.
Joan, you sullied my reputation on your blog and in your book. All I am doing is telling the truth. I WAS NEVER ARRESTED. I WAS NEVER PLACED ON PROBATION. Joan makes a mockery of my miscarriage, WHEN SHE WAS THE ONE WHO DROVE ME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL. HUGGED ME WHEN I CRIED WHEN I LOST MY SON. yet says in her book that I merely ‘CLAIMED” to have wanted children. I also had several books on pregnancy, breast-feeding, Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care; Our Bodies Ourselves. And Joan knows I had those books because SHE BORROWED THEM when she was pregnant with her son. If I had merely “claimed” to want children, I wouldn’t have those books now would I?
But I don’t have the right to tell people via my blog the truth of MY life? WHY NOT?
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Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Uncategorized.
Tags: contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
new blog post by chronic pathological liar Joan Wheeler, March 13, 2010
Joan, OUR FATHER WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING YOU UP FOR ADOPTION! No matter how many times you say this, you will never change the fact that my father was NOT coerced into giving you up!
People, if you read that and believe that lie, you are so gullible! I have it from my father’s mouth, HE WAS NOT COERCED!
He was grieving, yes, he was now a single father with 5 kids, 1 of them an infant.
THERE WERE NO DAYCARE CENTERS IN 1956! His parents were elderly, could not take care of a baby. In her own lying book, Joan says that her adoptive mother told her that when they got her, she was covered in body sores. This is a f’ing lie! MY UNCLE AND HIS WIFE, JOAN’S GODPARENTS TOOK CARE OF HER. Their son Jim was born the same year. Ann took care of two infants. AND DID IT WELL!
JOAN, THE NEXT TIME I SPEAK TO UNCLE R. I WILL TELL HIM WHAT YOU WROTE IN THAT LYING BOOK. HE WON’T DO ANYTHING, BUT AGAIN, HERE WILL BE ANOTHER PERSON WHO WILL TURN THEIR BACK ON YOU!
AND DON’T TRY TO TWIST IT TO SAY YOUR BIRTH SISTERS ARE “BADMOUTHING” YOU, BECAUSE YOU, AND YOU ALONE WROTE THAT LIE. AND IF IT WAS YOUR MOTHER WHO LIED TO YOU, WELL SHE IS A LIAR TOO!
YOU BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT PEOPLE SPREADING LIES AND RUMORS ABOUT YOU, DAMAGIING YOUR REPUTATION, WELL WHAT THE F DO YOU THINK YOU DID TO OUR UNCLE AND HIS LATE WIFE! BURN IN HELL, TWO FACED LIAR!
AND I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR FANS!!!!! TO PARAPHRASE MOMMIE DEAREST. IF PEOPLE ARE BUYING YOUR BOOK, THEY ARE SPENDING GOOD MONEY FOR TRASH! AND IF THEY CAN’T SEE YOUR CONTRADICTIONS IN THE BOOK AND YOUR CONTINUAL PUT-DOWNS OF YOUR BIRTH FAMILY (but whine and boo-hoo when you “perceive” us putting you down) THEY ARE AS SICK AS YOU ARE!
One big contradiction: on one page she says about me: “at one point Brenda “claimed” to want to get pregnant.” then on another page, she says, “she went to a fertility clinic.”
Actually, it is all on page 302, and she contradicts herself IN ONE WHOLE SENTANCE. “At one point in her life life time she (me) claimed to want children and even went through infertility tests.”
PEOPLE, IF I ONLY “CLAIMED” TO WANT TO GET PREGNANT, THEN I WOULDN’T BE AT A FERTILITY CLINIC!!! ARE YOU THAT STUPID HEATHER IN ENGLAND THAT YOU DIDN’T CATCH THAT?
baloney!
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Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
Tags: abuse, bullying, Disrespect, gossip, Narcissistic personality disorder, stupidity
Sunday, Feb. 28
For those who take offense to what is my truth, then so be it! I’m not going to hide my thoughts for fear of offending someone. Joan had her turn at writing HER truth in her book Forbidden Family. Now it is MY turn to write MY truth. Why do you people think it is ok for Joan to trash me? But I’m not supposed to claim my right as a human being to put out the truth? No way! You people only know Joan through the internet, through her writing. She’s a good writer, that’s why I encouraged her to write her book waaay back in 1980. Didn’t know at the time that she would use that book to spread filthy lies about me. You people may have met her in person in conferences. Don’t be deceived. She is an actress. She uses and abuses people. If you people knew Joan in person, you’d be amazed. Why her own SON wants nothing to do with her, and she admits this in her book! Even at a funeral recently, the wife of the deceased person asked if I had spoken to Joan, I said no. She said “good, I don’t want her here.” Nobody wants her. She keeps harping on her extended adoptive family hates her. AND her birth family. Stop and ask yourselves WHY? Why does ONE person have sooooo many people who can’t stand her? And she admits in her book that people don’t like her.
As to me not posting the comments I received? Why should I post them? Not one of them was a disagreement with me, they were ALL abusive and attacking me. One was even full of obscenities. And the person with the filthy mouth was the ringleader. Trying to get a bunch of her internet bullies to gang up on me. But could only find 5 people to back her up. lol. Out of over 200 views! wow, 6 against 1. and resorting to such potty language. roflmao!
If you disagree with me, then say so. You didn’t disagree with me, you attacked me. I do not respond to attacks and abuse. I do not respond to bullies. I will not be bullied or abused by anyone. Not Joan, not her internet bully buddies, not ANYONE! Got that?
So if you don’t like what you see here, you have my leave to go elsewhere. Sticking your heads in the sand or up your behind will not change the truth. Joan has lied in her book and on her blog and in person that I was arrested and placed on probation. I have provided actual court documentation that proves that this is a lie. And that FACT cannot be changed.
If Joan is depressed, it’s her own guilty conscience at work. Or most likely, since she has no conscience, she is ashamed and embarrassed that her filthy deeds to her own sister and others are now out in public for everyone to see. She had no conscience when she called my job repeatedly in 1994 and 1995 trying to get me fired. She had no qualms in stealing more than 700.00 from me, along with her husband. She had the balls to try to split me and my husband up. She even lies about her children. And used them as pawns in our feud. She says there was a three month court battle in 1994. I have provided actual court documentation that shows this never happened. She claimed that her children were there in the court because it involved them. Again, I have provided actual court documentation that shows this never happened. This is why she is depressed. Because her lies, her thefts, her schemes and her misdeeds are now for everyone to see.
These facts cannot be changed. I have not relied on faulty memory, but actual letters from her, letters from me, (photocopies), letters that she sent to elected officials giving them my private personal and health details, and letters she sent to my mother in law. Just yesterday I posted a letter from our lawyer that says in essence that Joan is a liar.
On February 23, 2010, Joan wrote another diatribe against falisified birth certificates. This is her sole reason for living. To correct the falsified birth certificates issued to adoptees. If that is her sole purpose in life, who am I to say anything? What I want to write about is Joan’s propensity for her mouth that keeps getting her into trouble.
The issue she is blogging about on February 23 is the fact that two gay men were awarded the right in a court of law to have both their names placed on their adopted child “birth” certificate. Joan calls the men “stupid” and “numbnuts.”
On February 24, 2010, in a follow up post, Joan writes the following: “Gays and Lesbians: go back into the corner. You can come back out only when you recognize and honor the facts of life for another human being.”
Excuse me Joan, who are YOU to tell a group of people to go back into the corner? Just because you think they are in error, does not give you the right to deride them. Isn’t the purpose of your blog to EDUCATE people on falsified birth certificates of adoptees and the psychological/socialogical effects of adoption on people? How do you think you are going to educate people when you insult them?
THIS IS JOAN’S PROBLEM! IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH HER, OR SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU OR SOMETHING YOU STAND FOR, SHE WILL CALL YOU NAMES, AND HURT AND INSULT YOU!
Then when the insulted or the hurt person speaks up for their right not to be insulted, or speak up for their right to have an opposing viewpoint from Joan, she will go off on a tangent, insult and hurt them more. Then when she sees that person is now her enemy, she wonders why they don’t like her, refuse to see how her own behavior made them an enemy of her, and then just blithely say that that person is an idiot, stupid, a numbnut or worse.
If she suffers any backlash because of now enmity of this person, she will sit and blame that person for the rift. Typical narcissistic behavior.
Joan has been told time and time again by MANY people that her own behavior is the contributing factor to the fact that nobody likes her or wants anything to do with her. But she is too stuck on her importance to see that. It’s not her fault. Nothing ever is. It’s always the other person’s fault. See, she was adopted, that’s why she can’t behave. oh puh-leeze!
follow up: gosh, I hit a nerve. settle down Potsie!
Attention Adoption Reformers part 1 January 2, 2010
attention adoption reformers part 2 January 3, 2010
Attention Adoption Reformers – Part 3 January 5, 2010
Joan Wheeler, coward. Won’t stand by what she says. January 5, 2010
Ruining someone’s personal and professional reputation December 12, 2009
evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998 December 12, 2009
Whining Teflon Dictator Joan at it again. December 28, 2009
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Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Tags: being downright nasty, gossip, governing one's tongue, lying, spreading rumors, spreading untruths
In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”
“ Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.” “Triple filter?” “That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”
“No, on the contrary…” “So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you’re not certain it’s true?” The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test though,because there is a third filter – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?” “No, not really…”
”Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful,! why tell it to me at all?” The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
Lesson to be learned Ms. Joan M. Wheeler!!!!
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