The latest “wisdom” from Joan Wheeler, um, well, actually, she’s trying to show that she has some widsom April 14, 2012
Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, emotional blackmail, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft
comments closed
I rarely go over to Joan Wheeler’s website – because it’s all the same bullshit over and over. anti-adoption, and how Joan has suffered because of her adoption. Ho-Hum.
But this morning, I went over there and found this little ditty that she put up:
A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. – Wayne Dyer
I like Dr. Dyer. I have several audio cassettes and cd’s of his motivational lectures. But I think Joan is just trying as usual to pump herself up for her blog-readers. Well, actually, what is going on, is Joan is trying to “stick it” to us again. She has found out the past 2 and a half years that she can’t shut us up. Since we’ve had this blog, and were successful in getting her filthy book pulled from publication, Joan has tried to shut us up several ways.
She went to the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum and incited them to come over to this blog and try to shut us “fuckheads” down. (Her words: “If enough of us complain to wordpress, we can shut those fuckheads down.” And a whole bunch of them came over and left obscene messages here. That was in February 2010. She tried it again in May 2010. A few of them came over. She tried again several months later. Nobody came. She got her then-boyfriend to do it. He left a couple of nasty messages here. She got Susan Thompson Underdahl to try some shit with us. Failed. Just as in the past, she tried to get Rene Hoksbergen (in 1993) to help her extort money from Kathy. And this was just 3 years after she stole hundreds of dollars from me.
She put up a “cyber-bullying” blog to show that we birth sisters of hers are cyber-bullying” her because we dare to take lies from her book and tell the truth. This so-called cyber-bullying” page is in itself an act of cyber-bullying by Joan of us, because it is full of our personal information. And twisted lies.
She keeps saying all over the internet that because we dared to speak up about the truth of our own lives, we are “hurting” her. We are “harassing” her. We are “running her into the ground.” We are making her “go inside herself.” We are making her “have panic and anxiety attacks and be depressed.” – all this, because we find a lie she said about us and we told the truth.
And the worst thing she did was enlist her then-boyfriend to write a hate message in my father’s memorial book in the funeral home, just across the room from my father’s body.
She posted some lying crap about my grandfather on the Huffington Post, and the results were that she got kicked off that website.
On March 5, 2012, she left her first and only comment to this blog, taking a past post of mine, and taking things out of context, tried to show that I was inciting her to commit suicide. I picked about her comment, and even posted an actual photograph of Joan that showed a line in her comment was a lie.
Now we have this quote from Dr. Dyer. Is it to show how progessive she is in her thinking? No, not by a long shot.
Here is the quote again, and pay attention to the bolded words: A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
No, Joan didn’t put that quote up there to help anyone (not even herself), or to show that she’s getting some wisdom – she put that up there to try to “teach” us nasty birth sisters to stop “harming” her.
We’ve been accused of all sorts of harm to Joan. The big one that I was accused of was calling child abuse on her in December 1994 and saying that she and my then-fiance were sexually abusing her children. The caller identified themself as me.
I have posted actual written letter BY JOAN to my fiance and his mother after this child abuse call. In it, she is telling John to leave me, trying to get his mother to turn against me.
In the months before the abuse call was made, Joan was on the phone with my employer calling them almost every day to get me fired over a false accusation that I had hacked into my employer’s computers and tampered with her medical bill. I was investigated and found innocent. Joan says again on her cyber-bullying page that I am a computer hacker. So in 1994, she couldn’t get me fired, so she calls child abuse on herself, and gives my name as the caller, names my fiance as the abuser. This was a blatant attempt to break me and John up. Didn’t work, the fiance is now my husband – 10 years now. – This was also the time frame (1993-1995) that Joan’s own marriage was breaking up.
I’ve been accused of other “harms” to her – read this blog – you’ll find them all documented here.
So now we have Joan, trying to give some “anti-harm” wisdom. Oh really Joan, you’ll have to do better than that. – For one thing, to soothe your guilty conscience, you need to read that page at the top and on the right side menu – “What is demanded of Joan Wheeler.” and I have copied and pasted that entire list of demands at the end of this post.
No, reader, Joan Wheeler is not Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. In reality, she is Ms. Bull-Shit-Boots.
“Anti-harm” wisdom? oh puh-leaze Joan. Like you didn’t mean to harm me when you called my employer repeatedly to get me fired? Like you didn’t me to harm us when you called us “fuckheads” on the adoptee forum? Like you didn’t mean to harm us when you told all those filthy lies in your book? Like you didn’t mean to harm us in that filty rant of yours on your blog in December 2009 when you threatened to expose “all the dirty little secrets” you think we sisters have? That’s called emotional blackmail Joan – and it is HARM. And readers, I have challenged Joan many times in the past on this blog to come forth and tell everybody just what dirty little secrets she thinks she has over us. I challenged her again last month! We have no “dirty little secrets” to have exposed.
So you see reader, what a sniveling little bull-shitter Joan Wheeler is. And a low-down hypocrite.
“A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”
Right Joan – if I were you, I would read those words very carefully, over and over and then read this list of demands again. Only one demand has been met, the pulling of the book off the market, and it wasn’t done voluntarily by Joan. We birth sisters did it. By showing documented proof – actual court documents – that Joan Wheeler HARMED us by slandering us in her book.
What is demanded from Joan Wheeler
The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1.Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
2.Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
3.Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
4.Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
5.Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
6.For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
7.Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
8.Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
9.Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
10.For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
11.For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
13.For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
14.An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
15.For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
1.The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
2. Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
3.Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
4.The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
1.Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
Gert here…
very interesting!! So Joan put this little ditty up yesterday? after I posted on my blog
Do we see Joan Wheeler’s childhood anywhere in here? And is it possible for her to ‘heal’ herself?
which contains the article—
7 Steps to Lasting Change: Finding Freedom from Addiction by Deepak Chopra, M.D., F.A.C.P.
In the article he focuses on Childhood Roots of Addiction…
and my point is that Joan Wheeler has had a childhood of many abuses and she has NOT addressed them and that is WHY she is so hateful and angry.
Joan…your karma is catching up to you…you can’t get away from it.
3. Ruth – April 14, 2012 [Edit]
right Gert – we have long suspected that Joan suffered abuse from someone when she was a child. She speaks very little of her childhood in her book. Indeed, she hardly ever spoke of her childhood to me while we were close – once upon a time.
In her book, while relating several incidents, Joan goes out of her way to describe hand and arm movements from those who she is talking about. stuff like: Hands up, arm sweeping, arms outstreched, hands open, a swipe of his right arm, palm facing down,a swipe of his open hand in the air, palm side down, upper arms close to his side, elbows bent, clenched fists at waist.swept his arm in the air, palm up to the night sky, ..ran away from me, her arms up in the air, …vigorously waved his finger in the air, hands behind his back,
There are many other such instances. of hand and arm movements.
And people are always snapping and snarling.growling – I have never read a book before in my life that has so much attention on hands hands hands – Joan – this is something you need to tell your therapist – and that ditz therapist Nicole Urdang, who gave a “good” review of this crap book on Amazon – it’s another clue she missed. – readers – I wrote a letter to Urdang in 2010 telling her she was a poor therapist because she missed the clues – this was not a good book at all – it is not helpful in any sort of adoption reform – it’s a manifesto of hate against anyone who ever disagreed with Joan, and a desciption of an alcoholic woman descending into madness.
So Joan is now “against” harming people. right, sure, if she so believes Dr. Dyer’s words, she would put her money where her mouth is – and take down that cyber-bullying blog – because it is nothing but harm to us. Take your own advice Joan and stop harming me and my sisters with your lies.
Joan – if you truly advocate Dr. Dyer’s words – you would make amends for all the harm you have done to people thruout your life. Not just to us birth sisters – but to everyone you have insulted thru the years and in your book. Yes, by insulting Polish people, Catholics, and people who live in trailer parks, you have sent harm to them. – Readers, in her book, Joan refers to people in trailer parks as “trailer trash.” She puts down people who live on the East Side of Buffalo (traditionally teh rough tough inner city.) – So the inner city is rough, has gangs, is economically depressed. Does that mean EVERYone who lives is trash? The mayor of our city lives on the east side. My district councilman lives on the east side. My mother’s family grew up on the east side. My husband’s family lives on the east side (and all my brother in law’s kids went to college). – And I live on the east side. I organized a block club on my street. Attended seminars and meetings with city officials to better the life of not just my neighoberhood, but the whole city. What does Joan do with that little bit of info? – She slams me for it in her book. What asshole slams another person for doing their civic duty by trying to improve the quality of life in their community? – Joan! Because all she knows what to do is insult people and put them down – thereby HARMING them.
Joan, why don’t you just SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!
And before Joan starts again with the lie that we were abused and that HER ADOPTION caused us severe mental illnesses…I will state here NOW…
I was NOT abused as a child. I have never been been treated for any kind of addiction…I quit smoking 12 years ago…I have never been treated of any kind of mental illness or depression…Besides life’s usual ups and downs I’ve NEVER stayed in bed for days! I have held private and government jobs for over 40 years.
And perhaps most importantly….I have taken care of my physical, emotional and spiritual live with an on-going holistic life-style.
Joan’s insistence that we and others are damaged is just another form of ‘projection’ of her own ills onto everyone else.
Joan is a very sick person who harms everyone who stands in her sick way. And…time is ticking away…she isn’t getting any younger and before long she will be on her death bed wishing someone cared about her and gives a shit about her…the harm that she has done to everyone in the birth family is starting to turn itself on to her…
Joan’s face is being rubbed into her own shit, because, she doesn’t know enough to not shit where she lives….
Oh another thing – I mentioned Joan slams the Catholic religion. She also slammed Pagans.
Way way back in an unprovoked incident of cyber-bullying of her birth sisters in September 2008 on her now-defunct blogspot blog.
At that time, I was the only one on the internet. Gert, having been working on computers and early internet in the mid 1990′s, publishing books, was burnt out and stepped away from the internet. Kathy, had never touched a computer, let alone expereinced the internet.
I had found her blog and saw a rant she did about (ho-hum) her crappy adoption. She was slamming her adoptive family. Then she slammed her birth family. She put out a “warning” to the Three Sippel Sisters to stay out of her life – which we were! Then she went on to slam the Christians for not preventing her adoption – then she said something about Christain and Pagan values.- This was a direct slam against Gert and mine religion. And she knew Gert was a pagan. She talks about in her book. I’m not sure if she knew I was a pagan at the time.
I am what is known as Neo-Pagan, Wiccan. And the most important charge we have is this: HARM NONE.
As I said, the attack on our pagan religion was done in September 2008 BEFORE her book was published. BEFORE this blog was in existence, BEFORE I tried to defend our family from Joan’s lies and misrepresentations of our family in an online news article in October/November 2009.
So Joan the HYPOCRITE has a lot of dam nerve putting up a blog accusing me and my sister of cyberbullying, when it was JOAN herself who began the cyberbullying A FULL YEAR BEFORE THIS BLOG WAS IN EXISTENCE!
AND on that blog of 2008, she committed the HATE CRIME of slamming other people’s religion!
NOW she comes on the internet and quotes a motivational speaker’s words against HARMING people?
Joan, SHUT THE HELL UP!
6. Ruth -
To this day, Joan goes on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum and other anti-adoption sites and swears at and aobut anybody who is pro-adoption. She cyber-bullys ANY one is for adoption. She swears at them, calls them names.
Joan, my dear, by swearing at people on the internet, for their lifestyles, their beliefs, their choice of family life is HARMING people.
Joan – you are nothing but a hypocrite and a bullshit LIAR.
reposting from Gert McQueen’s blog: Was Rene Hoksbergen ever really a friend to Joan Wheeler, or did she just use him like she does everyone? (originally published on December 23, 2011) December 26, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.Tags: adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, dishonesty, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, false accusations, Gert McQueen, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Joe Soll, LIBEL, Lies, Professor Rene Hoksbergen, Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stealing, stealing from your own family, theft
comments closed
Post by: J on September 06, 2010, 02:33:45 AM
An adoptive parent on a Dutch forum wrote that if his adopted child asks for his birthcertificate only the names of his adoptive parents are on there. Apparently, they changed the law. It was never like this. To him it feels like fraud. Is there a website about the OBC’s in the US which he can read and gives information about why adoptees are against this? He is very active, and I would like others to read it as well.
Post by: He September 06, 2010, 07:19:31 AM
Post by: C on September 06, 2010, 12:56:17 PM
The idea is that the privacy of the birth mom and the formation of the “new family” demanded that we issue birth certificates like this one. Since that is how we are going to play, I had my full name legally changed and had a new birth certificate issued. It still has my adoptive parent’s names on it, but makes it clear that we are not related since my last name is not the same as either of theirs. Take that! :gottabat2:
Post by: 1adoptee on September 06, 2010, 06:21:44 PM
Verzonden: maandag 6 september 2010 16:10
Aan: r.a.c.hoksbergen@uu.nl
Onderwerp: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
RE: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
You have your birthcert. And adoptioncert. Nothing changed in holland.
What I find interesting and amusing is that several months ago I sent Hoksbergen a private message via facebook upbraiding him for his support of Joan Wheeler – and I told him in no uncertain terms that he needs to drop support of Joan because of the lies she told about him and me in her book. She says that he came to my house – he was NEVER in my house. She describes me as yelling and screaming at him – no, I never did. I met him once – AT JOAN’S HOUSE. And I barely spoke to the man as I am shy around new people – besides, unlike Joan, I HAVE MANNERS.
I challenged Hoksbergen to come forward and TELL THE TRUTH about his meeting me, his never being in my house, my never yelling at him. – He hasn’t had the courage to come forward. WHY?
Another amusing point – I sent Hoksbergen a friend request on facebook – AND HE ACCEPTED IT! What an ass! I don’t want to be his friend – I wanted to see what he was going to do!
So – he is one my facebook friend list AND on Joan’s facebook friends list. What is he trying to prove? Is he spying on me? Well fine – because when a real juicy blog post here on Gert’s blog – or my blog – gets publicized on my facebook page, it automatically shows up on the newsfeeds of ALL my friends – Hoksbergen included. So he can see right away what we write on our blogs about HIM (when we do) and his little “friend” Joni Wheeler. — wonder just how “friendly” they were! ha ha ha. – I don’t know about the professor – but I sure know about Joan.
by her own words, on her own website, Joan Wheeler admits to fraud December 24, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bullying, copyright infringement, cyberbullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, fraud, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Lori Corangelo, misrepresenting one's credentials, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, theft, wrongful publication of a photo that the author does not own the copyright to!
comments closed
Here is a screenshot that I took of Joan Wheeler’s “About” page on her Forbidden Family website.
this is her trying to justify her publishing MY childhood photo on the back of her book. I took this screenshot on December 24, 2011 0500 (5:00am).
Carefully read what she has to say:
“This photograph of my natural family was taken in Autumn of 1955. My mother is pregnant with me. This is the only family “portrait” I have. My deceased natural mother’s sister (my aunt) sent the photograph to my adoptive aunt who then gave the photograph to my adoptive parents in 1956. My adoptive mother gave me the photograph when I was 18 years old and newly reunited with my natural family.”
Okay, first – we have no way of knowing exactly what month this picture was taken – it could have been early summer 1955. Because I, (in my father’s arms), am awful small for a three year old. This picture could have even been taken in 1954 when I was 2 years old. – Whatever – the other point is – even if Mom was pregnant – (she looks fat – NOT pregnant) – Joan was NOT a legal entity when the photograph was taken.
Joan admits right here that she was not given a paper copy of the photo until she was 18 years old in 1974. Since I and other members of the extended Herr family – my mother’s siblings and their children also had copies of this same photo – it shows us that this photo was widely distributed AFTER my mother’s death. This photo could have been taken by any number of persons – my paternal grandmother, who only lived a few blocks from us, a member of the Herr family, heck, it could even have been taken by our landlord Mr. Johnson. (not Williams, Joan – JOHNSON).
In the terms and conditions set forth by Trafford Publications for their authors, it is stipulated that the author must own the sole copyright to the work and ALL IT’S CONTENT.
So how does Joan Wheeler think she owns the sole copyright of a photograph that she is NOT in, was NOT the photographer, did not even see it, or own a COPY of until 18 years AFTER the photo was taken?
And Joan, my dear, if I find out that you took MY baby picture and took out a copyright/patent on MY baby picture – YOU ARE GUILTY OF FRAUD!
That’s right readers, (pay attention Lori Corangelo) – JOAN WHEELER DEFRAUDED TRAFFORD PUBLICATIONS WHEN SHE SIGNED THE CONTRACT WITH THEM. AND I WILL GO AFTER JOAN VIA MY ATTORNEY IF I FIND OUT THAT SHE OBTAINED A FRAUDULENT COPYRIGHT ON MY PHOTOGRAPH. – and you will end up in jail – or the psych ward – I don’t care which – just as long as you get put away so you can stop your lying on the internet and stop your lying mouth!
from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity, theft, whining
comments closed
|
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
|
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
|
“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..
Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.
She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?
So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”
I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.
As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.
so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.
I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.
It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.
“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!
I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.
There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!
Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!
And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.
Suffer the wrath of the wronged birth sister who had nothing to do with Joan Wheeler’s adoption June 18, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, angry adoptee, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining, wrath of the angry adoptee, wrath of the birth family
comments closed
by Ruth Pace
There’s a thread on the adoptee forum entitled Suffer the Wrath of the Adoptee. I’ll read it when I get a chance, but for now, I want to give my opinion on just the title of this thread.
These adoptees like to label themselves ANGRY ADOPTEES. They are angry because for whatever circumstances went on in their lives, they were adopted. I can’t comment on their stories, because I don’t know them, I don’t know what happened. Frankly, it’s none of my business. I can only comment on the adoption that I know all about – that of my younger sister Joan Wheeler, who also calls herself an ANGRY ADOPTEE.
I can’t control her anger. That is something she has to deal with. Whatever beef she’s got against my father, her aparents, the system – has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I was only 3 ½ years old when she was adopted by the Wheelers. I only heard that we had a new baby sister when she was born, then never saw her. Because of my father’s second wife’s illness, and her need to be placed in the psych center a couple of times, we remaining kids did indeed spend some years in foster care and a year in a children’s home. A couple of us lived here, a couple of us lived over there, and a couple of us lived somewhere else. (My stepmother had two sons of her own, so now there were six kids that needed to be looked after). When I was a little kid, I knew our younger sister was “adopted” and living somewhere else. I didn’t know what the word adopted meant. All I knew was that there was a total of 7 kids – 5 Sippels and 2 Genoveses scattered around. (4 Sippel kids, plus Doris/Joan and 2 stepbrothers).
Trauma? Nope, because this was NORMAL for us. And from time to time, we would all get back together, and we all saw each other regularly. Where ever I lived, I had tons of friends! We were never mistreated. Eventually it began to sink in what adoption exactly meant and when we were teenagers, naturally we wanted to be reunited with our sister Doris/Joan. And by then, we recognized the fact that because of the legal system, we couldn’t contact her. But we were determined to find her, and we did.
When I was reunited with Joan in 1974, I opened up my life to her and my heart. I never judged her. I accepted her as she was. In 1974, I had been on my job for 2 years. In 1971, I had my first apartment, (actually a room in a boarding house), then in 1972, I had a roomie, in 1973, I moved back to my Dad’s house to save money, and to help out with the kids from my father’s third marriage. In May 1974, two months after meeting Joan, I got my first real apartment. In 1975 I met a wonderful man and we moved in together. We lived together for 10 years.
And Joan was always a part of my life after our reunion. And yes, I accepted her, never judged her, she was my sister. We would do things as my time and my life allowed, just as with every other relationship in my life.
But by the 1980’s Joan began to lash out at us. She interfered with Gert’s children in 1981-83. In 1985, right after I had my miscarriage, she showed NO sympathy for my infertility. Went out of her way to bring up subjects that she KNEW would hurt me. I know the world does not end when a woman, who has been trying for years to conceive loses her baby, but when someone DELIBRATELY sets out to hurt someone – that is unacceptable. Even during a phone conversation in April 1987, she was babbling on about how she “knows” all about infertility. (no, she knows book stuff, but NEVER experiencing the pain of infertility or the grief of loss of your child – she does NOT know). I told her THREE times during this conversation that I was planning on seeing a grief counselor and I DID NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! To her, or anyone else! THREE times I said this – did she RESPECT MY WISHES? NO! She just kept on blabbing about how she knows about infertility. What a f’ing disrespectful bitch. That’s when I hung up on her and did not contact her. 2 months later I moved in with my present husband. I sent my mail to a friend’s house in Lackawanna NY. For a year, she kept calling my job in the daytime – (I worked nights – still do). I would come in to work and find notes paperclipped to my timecard to call Joan. And I would throw the notes out. After I reconnected with her in 1988, she told me she went to the post office and got my forwarding address in Lackawanna and tried to find me – but the people there said they didn’t know me. ha ha ha – (thank you Hassan). So who was STALKING whom – even back in 1987? But Joan bitches about ME stalking her when I read her shit online? She’s got a lot of f’ing nerve!
oh and by the way – when I did go to the grief counselor, I told her of the phone conversation I had with Joan. The counselor was appalled! She said Joan was disrespectful of me. (like I need a counselor to tell me that – but it was nice to know that a professional recognized Joan’s rotten behavior for what it was).
From 1987 to 1988, I did not speak to Joan because of her disrespect to me. BUT in 1988 I tried to have a relationship with her. By 1990, she was at it again. She stole hundreds of dollars from me, we had a fight on the telephone over money she promised me. She called me on the phone and dictated to me” “I know I said that I was going to give you this sum, but I changed my mind.” (paraphrase) I told her to keep the money and I never wanted to see her again.
This is what started the feud that continues to this day. Because I DARED to stand up for myself. I NEVER belittled Joan’s activism in the adoption reform field. And it was ME who told her to write her book! (silly me).
So let’s get back to this “suffer the wrath of the adoptee” business.
I WANT TO KNOW WHY JOAN WHEELER IS ANGRY WITH ME!!!!! AND WHY SHOULD RUTH SUFFER? WHEN RUTH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH JOAN’S ADOPTION?
As I said, I was only 3 ½ years old when she was adopted. I had nothing to do with it. From 1956 to 1974, I always wanted Joan in my life. From 1974 – 1987, I accepted and LOVED her. It was JOAN who destroyed our relationship in 1990 by stealing money from me. Money that she knew wasn’t even mine! I had borrowed it from the bank! Joan put me into debt!
Then Joan set out to PUNISH me for being angry with her. In 1993, she baited me with a forged letter. (see post Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? ) Like a fool, I fell for it. I called her on the phone, she hung up. I called back, she hung up again. I called again. She hung up. What I did not know, she had a trace trap on the phone. SHE was the one hanging up on me, but she filed a false police report saying that I called her, swore at her and hung up on her. A week later, my electricity was shut off. She still owed me money. I called her on the phone. The first call, I was crying and said, “Joan, don’t hang up, I need help.” She did hang up. I called back, she hung up. Now I was angry, and I did call and swore at her. Admit it- you would do the same. And of course, these additional calls were caught by the annoyance call bureau. So the bitch hauled me into court. No, I was NOT arrested, and yes, a six-month order of protection was given to Joan. The judge told me to stay away from her for six months and everything would be dismissed. No, I was not placed on probation. Yes, I did stay away from her for YEARS.
In the fall of 1994, Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient. She swore up and down that I did it. She complained to my employer. They investigated it. I did not do it. She wasn’t going to have it. She set out to change the events. She called my job for the next six months trying to get me fired. In December 1994, she called child abuse on herself, posing as me, and giving out my fiance’s name! Then in February 1995, I get a packet of letters in the mail from her – copies of letters that she had been mailing around to various elected officials in the Buffalo area – one of them being the mayor of Buffalo! These letters included my personal medical history and my life choices, where I worked, where I lived! I filed harassment and stalking charges against her. But the judge dismissed it, saying “sisters should get along.” By the way, during the time frame of December 1994 – April 1995, Joan was writing letters to my fiancé, sending them to his mother’s house, even wrote a letter to my future mother-in-law – the letters telling John to break up with me. She even telephoned John’s mother a few times, to trash me, then her other son grabbed the phone and told Joan if she ever called their m’f’ing house again, she would have to answer to him, and stop bothering his mother!
Joan continued harassing me. In February 1999, I received two letters from her. One telling me that my fiancé had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant. (the house was vacant). The other one accused me of driving past her house – when at the time, I did not have a car.
This time, I took her to Family Court. And was granted a one year order of protection against her. These were the only 3 times we were in court – and in previous posts, I have scanned and posted the actual court documents pertaining to them.
Joan finally stopped sending me garbage letters, but continued her hate campaign against me. She seethed in anger and I see that it built up in her, year after year. In 2009 she self-published her book and her anger and hate against me is very evident – almost every other page is anger and hate directed at me. She directs anger and hate against other people – but me in particular. She changes events around, LIES and says that it was ME who harassed her.
So again, let’s get back to the “Wrath of the Angry Adoptee.” Joan is angry, no doubt about it. But WHY is she angry at ME???
Around 1988-89, she managed to get MY former foster-mother mad at her. Joan, in her obsession to “re-connect” with her birth family re-traced her siblings childhood history, going around to the neighborhood we lived in as children, introducing herself to people who still lived there, and even meeting our former foster-mother. Now I had told her something, IN CONFIDENCE – that when I lived there – I didn’t want to be there. That was no reflection on the care they gave me – they were wonderful people – but I wanted to be with my father. What does Joan do? She goes and blabs that to my foster mother and made her cry. She was an elderly woman. She was a friend of one of my cousins, and cried to her. Gail knew my feelings and covered for me – she just said, “oh Joan probably got things mixed up.” But when I heard about it – I yelled at Joan. She sat at my kitchen table, 34 years old, and whined, “I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong if nobody tells me.” What??? A 34 year old woman needs to be told how to behave? Not to betray things told to her in confidence?
Joan says somewhere in her book, and on her website, and other places on the internet, that the siblings that found her hold some sort of responsibility to her and her state of being after the honeymoon stage of our reunion with her. (my words, not necessarily hers, but the thought is the same). Excuse me. In 1988, she was 33 years old. She should have learned how to behave by then. She should have learned not to lie. She should have learned not to steal. She was raised by two competent people, she went to Catholic grammer school, Catholic high school, Catholic college. In 1988 she had two children of her own that SHE had the responsiblity to teach how to behave, yet she’s asking ME to teach these things to HER??? What the hell does she want from me?
So this message is now directed at Joan: I DON’T GIVE A DAMN THAT YOU ARE AN ANGRY ADOPTEE! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! ALL I EVER DID WAS ACCEPT AND LOVE YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?
TAKE YOUR ANGRY ADOPTEE BULLSHIT AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE ANGRY ADOPTEE? WELL SUFFER THE WRATH OF THOSE WHO THE ANGRY ADOPTEE HAS WRONGFULLY HURT IN HER LASHING OUT!
Joan, you don’t get to write a book that sullies MY reputation! Your book is “your point of view?” BULLSHIT! You wrote intentionally to HURT me. You know damn well that I was NOT arrested and placed on probation. THAT is called slander and libel – because you set out to intentionally damage my reputation. Just look at your history towards me – in 1993 how you filed the false police reports, tried to get me fired in 1994, called child abuse on yourself to implicate me, in 1995 tried to break me and John up and trashed me to his mother, and stalked and harassed me, invaded my privacy by writing letters to the mayor and others, in 1999, you falsely tell me that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. And we are supposed to believe that you did NOT write that shit book to hurt me and it was only “your point of view?”
Yeah, we know, it is your point of view – YOUR point of view is that I, your sister, who never did a damn thing to you but love you, is trash, and should be punished in your book.
SUFFER MY WRATH, JOAN – - SUFFER!
Never fear, I won’t lie – I don’t HAVE to - because the TRUTH about Joan is damning! And she brought it all on herself.
Like this:
Gert McQueen answers the secret is out – more evidence of misdeeds and lies by Joan Wheeler May 19, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stealing from your own family, theft, whining
comments closed
by Gert McQueen
There are many essays or blog posts that I have written that have not been seen yet on this blog. Seeing that we are discussing and showing our EVIDENCE I feel it is time for the following to be posted. It is part of a larger essays where I discuss many pieces of evidence about Joan’s lying. And we do have the physical documents to go with it. Here we go:
The next pieces of evidence are in connection to the article The secret is out that Joan wrote in 1990 published in England and the aftermath from it. This article caused great concern because in the article Joan uses her sisters’ real names, interestingly enough not mine. In any event, the publication of that article is what caused certain letters to be written, alerting those agencies, listed in the article, that privacy was not afforded to the persons mentioned in the article. These letters were not ‘harassments’ but legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy the author committed. It is only Joan who turns these letters into gross obscene letters in her fabrication of telling of them.
As I have stated in previous posts, I did not write any letters to Joan and it is a falsehood for Joan to write in her book on pg 308 ‘…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 92’. Which sisters? She does not say, so how can anyone be sure whom Joan is referring to? (Ruths’ note: as usual, Joan lumps all three of her sisters as one entity. Only thing is, we didn’t write harassing letters to her, either individually or collectively.) On pg 310 she writes ‘…the 40 page letter that my sisters put together…’ and ‘…my sisters included copies of long handwritten letters they wrote to the nine major adoption…’ Wrong! Joan does not name the sisters because there were no sisters, in the plural. Ruth and I never wrote to those nine major adoption agencies listed in the article. Kathy wrote legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy; all else is pure nonsense and fabrication by Joan. Furthermore, Kathy wrote an seven-page letter, not 40 pages; Joan loves hyperbole! (see graphics #4a-4g below).
Hyperbole…exaggeration: deliberate and obvious exaggeration used for effect.
Again, we shall revisit this issue, when I return to the book, after I complete this presentation of the evidence of Joan’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book. For now it is sufficient to state that we three sisters, who are refuting the lies of Joan, possess proof that she is a liar and user of hyperbole solely for the effect of putting us sisters in bad light.
As part of the fallout from the breach of privacy and Joan’s consistent disregard for returning Kathy’s personal property to her, Kathy in England , demanded her property returned to her. There were negotiations; monies sent by Kathy to Joan, for shipping, back and forth letters, but all of Kathy’s efforts were stalled by Joan because Joan had excuse after excuse for not sending them.
Evidence here: In two letters that Joan wrote to Kathy (ca.1992) we learn from Joan, in one, ‘…yes I did receive the money order…put it in a special account for when I have time to pack everything for you…can’t do it right now…don’t have a car…can’t do anything right now…Colby lost his job…trying to cope with unemployment…I am working two part-time jobs…pay is low…with this new upset…going and finding your scrapbooks will just have to wait…. the records are safe…I’ll let you know when I can get the stuff together…before Christmas…’ and in another ‘…have been sad that our relationship ended abruptly and that I have caused you pain…felt the need to reach out to you…need to apologize for overstepping my bounds in your life…I respect your right to privacy and am sorry for my past behaviors…I ask forgiveness…and hope that we can be friends again…since I’m rather busy now, I will try to pack up your things sometime before Christmas…working two part-time jobs and will be going back to college in the fall…’ (see graphics 1 and 2 below).
So we see from Joan’s own words; that she did receive money to send Kathy’s things back to her, that she put the money in a special account, for when she has time, but she can’t do it now, no car, husband lost a job, coping with unemployment, working two jobs, pay is low, new upset, getting your stuff will just have to wait, let you know when I can get the stuff to you later but sad that our relationship ended abruptly and I caused you pain, need to reach out to you, to apologize, respect your right to privacy, sorry for past behaviors, ask forgiveness, can be friends, but I’m rather busy now, will try to pack your stuff before Christmas, working two jobs and going back to college in the fall.
Would you, reader, buy that brunch of boloney? She was given the money to ship the items but found excuses for not doing so and yet she has the money and time to go back to college! How nice! Priorities!
Neither did Kathy, buy it that is, and when Kathy puts the pressure on to get her property back, Joan enlists the ‘big guy’; Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, the very same that wrote the forward of this book of lies and fabrications! It ought to be noted that the last time the good Dr. saw a ‘draft’ of the book was in 2006, three years before publication! Joan has done extensive rewrites since he saw it. I wonder if Dr Hoksbergen would approve of the published work? Perhaps I shall write him! I’ll think about that!
In the meanwhile, I’ll just inform folks with, yes that’s right, evidence here, just what Dr Hoksbergen said to my sister Kathy on Joan’s behalf. (see graphic #3 below). It ought to be remembered that Joan is a very good con artist. Joan can play the part of the misused, misunderstood adoptee, that the birth family seems to go out of their way to make life miserable for her. This letter by Dr Hoksbergen was written to Kathy in April 1993.
In part he says: ‘…you will be amazed that you suddenly get a letter from a complete stranger…(goes into his educational and professional backgrounds)…connected with the phenomenon of adoption …conference in 1987 I met your sister Joan Wheeler…tried to help her with some of her questions and problems…I very well know the complexity of her life situation and emotional stress this often gives to her…sometimes we have to give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions…conference in April I had a long discussion with Joan about many important family related questions. It has become clear to me that she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you. It is a pity that rather uncomplicated questions of yours, has given deep going emotional stress to at least Joan and as far as I understand also to you. Let me be more clear: you have asked her to send back your goods…last year Joan had a lot of material problems…not having a car, losing her jobs etc…Joan does not have the money…(goes into detail about weight and costs)…it is an idea to ask Joan what precisely you definitely want to have back as soon as possible…the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA…to my opinion problems like these should not divide people…related…who might need each other…when people live far away from each other…things easily might become complicated…I would ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly…I’m sure that her intensions are good…but she has problems to carry out the things you asked her…I know she would love it so much to have a good friendship with you…she has tried to see you in Liverpool…but she does not have the money for it…it is a useful idea if you write me back about your suggestions…if you prefer this in stead of writing directly to Joan…I know that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other…’
Okay! Here’s what I see in this communication; first and foremost intimidation by a professional with the use of a condescending tone to a woman who has already paid to have her personal property return and is being denied justice. Secondly, what I see is, the continuation of the mixture of intimidation as well as a good dose of browbeating, which btw is somewhat common with the professional attitudes of doctors.
‘phenomenon of adoption’ …since when is adoption a phenomenon?
‘complexity of her life situation and emotional stress’ …do only adoptee have complexity and emotional stress, is this some kind of new ‘condition’ that the rest of the population doesn’t have?
‘give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions’ …again, what makes the adoptee some kind of special needs person? Does this mean they are in the same category as the physically and mentally ‘challenged’ individuals are in (for those that are not PCs they are commonly called retarded)?
‘she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you’ …oh so Joan needs a professional to communicate that sentiment?
‘it is a pity’ …no shit!
‘Let me be more clear’ …by all means, what he is saying is that Kathy and by extension the rest of the birth family ‘needs’ to understand the special conditions that the adoptee has and we must alter our views. (Ruth’s note: the birth family is not considered to be human, with our own human needs, desires, etc. ONLY the adoptee matters. – BULLSHIT – I am just as IMPORTANT as the adoptee, they are NOT the center of the universe, just because in their view, they got shafted. LOTS of people the world over get shafted every day, adopted or not. Life sucks. DEAL WITH IT.)
‘Joan does not have the money’ … she was given the money, what happened to it and even if she wasn’t given the money why is it that she can’t give back someone else’s property? (Ruth’s note: What happened to this money, that Joan says she put in a “special account?” I know what happened to it – the same thing that happened to MY money that Joan and I had in a joint checking account for the purpose of buying real estate in 1990 – Joan STOLE it – used if for HER living expenses).
‘had a lot of material problems’ …is Joan the only person in the world with problems, does not Kathy have anything in her life that should be considered here?
‘the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA’ …an assumption that Kathy will be visiting the USA, was never in the negotiations to begin with, that’s a direct attempt at turning the whole thing back onto Kathy.
‘to my opinion’ …amazing that he didn’t send Kathy a bill for his opinion, what did it cost Joan for getting the doctor to write this letter? (Ruth’s note: I wonder as well. All evidence points to Joan and the doctor being waaay beyond professional ties.)
‘‘ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly’ …excuse me! what right does this guy have to say such a thing?
‘that her intensions are good’ …intensions my ass, any intelligent person knows that following through is what matters!
‘to have a good friendship with you’ …that falls squarely onto Joan’s shoulders and no one else!
‘it is a useful idea if you write me back.’ …no thank you!
‘that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other’ …we have heard that before!
So there you have it, the evidence of Joan Wheeler’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book, Forbidden Family.
Ruth’s additional note – examine carefully Dr. Hoksbergen letter to Kathy – Joan told him that it would cost about $500.00 to ship her belongings to her. Really? Kathy enlisted the help of our father to get her belongings back. My father never owned a car, never learned to drive. So what he did, was TAKE A TAXI-CAB to Joan’s house and get Kathy’s belongings and took them to his house, packed them up and shipped them over to Kathy in three different shipments. On July 7, 1993, the first shipment went out, costing my father $52.75. On August 7, 1993, the second shipment went out, costing $45.95. On November 23, 1993, the third and final shipment went out, costing $52.95. The total my father paid was $150.95 – far less than the $500.00 Joan led Dr. Hoskbergen to believe. And this bullshit happened only 3 years after Joan conned me out of several hundred dollars! Joan is a liar, a thief and a con-artist. She belongs in jail! The letters she wrote to Kathy in 1992 (graphics 1 and 2, are the same kind of nonsense she had feeding me in 19990 and 1991 about the money she stole from me. Apologies, crocodile tears, promises of repayment, excuse after excuse why she couldn’t pay me back, blah, blah, blah, until I finally had enough of her lies and bullshit and turned my back on her completely – I lost around $700.00 to her, and that doesn’t even cover the interest I was paying every month – yes, interest – it wasn’t even MY money Joan stole – it was money I borrowed from the bank – Joan put me into debt – I couldn’t afford to fix my car, I was forced to take a bus in the snow and cold, while Joan drove a car, which she fixed with MY (borrowed) money! As I noted above – this money was in a joint checking account to buy real estate – Joan stole it for her own day-to-day living expenses. After I washed my hands of her in 1991, she went to find another mark – she tried to play Kathy for a fool – she got 50 bucks out of Kathy. Now you know why her birth sisters turned their backs on her. Joan also did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings: missing are valuable Beatles collectibles: Beatles bubble gum sets, copies of The Beatles Fan Club magazine, a signed sketch by original Beatle member Stuart Sutcliffe. By not returning these items (and others) – Joan is guilty of THEFT. Joan has been asked for years to return these items, I personally saw them in the attic of her house on Swinburne St. in the late 1980′s, so she cannot LIE and say she doesn’t have them.
See the graphics 5a and 5b, below – my father’s receipts! Proof positive that Joan is a liar and a con-artist and LIED to her palsie-walsie, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. And Dr. Hoksbergen, was so stupid as to be conned by Joan, stuck his nose into our family business, and got a complaint made to his employer, Utrecht University about his unprofessionalism. He apparently didn’t learn his leasson, because in 2006, he was conned by Joan again into writing a forward to her lying book. Unless he wasn’t really conned after all – won’t be the first time a man was drawn into a woman’s web. Just look what Arnold Schwarzenegger did! The bigger they are – the harder they fall. Arnold just fell. Joan just fell. Who’s next? I sent Dr. Hoksbergen a private message via facebook for his explanation and a public apology for his contribution to this lying piece of trash book. He hasn’t responded yet. If he doesn’t, I’ll know my assessment of him is correct.
1. April 27, 1992 Joan apologizes to Kathy (breach of privacy, using Kathy's name in Secret is Out article, offers up excuses
2. mid 1992, Joan admits to receiving Kathy's money order, offers MORE excuses
3. Rene Hoksbergen's letter to Kathy, April 19, 1993; says cost to ship her belongings will be $500.00
4a Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 1
4b Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 2
4c Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 3
4d Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 4
4e Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 5
4f Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 6
4g Kathy's letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 7
5a Shipping receipts, July 17, 1993 - $52.75 and August 7, 1993 - $45.95
5b Shipping receipt November 23, 1993 - $52.25
Like this:
Nicole Urdang’s amazon.com review of Joan Wheeler’s trash book Forbidden Family, and Ruth Pace’s rebuttal (re-post) May 15, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Nicole S. Urdang, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining
comments closed
In recent posts, we indicated that a Buffalo, NY therapist, Nicole S. Urdang, who wrote a review on Amazon.com for Joan’s book removed her review. We were in error. The review is still there, but hidden. But I found it.
Ms. Urdang writes:
This is an incredible book. Two books actually. One a memoir and one a call to arms for all adoptees.
Joan chronicles her own deeply moving experience and uses that as a springboard to examine wider issues affecting all adoptees and their parents.
An essential addition to your library if you are involved with adoption either personally or professionally.
I left this comment:
Ruth Pace says:
This book has been pulled from publication due to an incredible amount of slander and libel, and the author’s use of a family photo on the back cover, that she has NO copyrights to. She never bothered to obtain written permission from those whose likeness she is trying to make money off.
The book is of no help to anyone who has any adoption anxiety concerns, except that it is a chronicle of a woman losing her mind. the author details her alcoholism, anti-social behavior, rages, descent into depression. maybe it could help propel someone into therapy, but the author herself, despite admitting to being in therapy for years, has never learned any life lessons, continuing to blame all her woes on everybody else.
Now, going back to Ms. Urdang’s review – she says that this book is a “call to arms for all adoptees.” Why? Because Joan herself is mentally ill? Because Joan herself cannot accept reality? The reality being that in 1956 when my mother died, things were NOT as they are today – there were no daycare centers – my father had to go to work – he had no siblings – his parents were elderly and could not provide care for an infant – my mother’s siblings all had large families themselves, MY FATHER HAD NO CHOICE – HE WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING JOAN TO ADOPTION! Would Joan have wanted to lie in a crib unattended all day while my father was at his job? Or should he have stayed home and earned no money, and therefore we would all ended up in the streets. There was no welfare system as we have today.
These are the facts of Joan’s early life – it is her REFUSAL to accept them is what is causing her the great pain and frustration of her adoption.
In her book she twists the facts around – my mother’s sister did indeed know who adopted Joan and where she was living. She did NOT tell us about her. But when we became adults, we did ask her, and she only told us the name: Joan Wheeler. When I was 20 years old, I placed phone calls to Wheelers listed in the phone book. When I got to Edward, a young woman answered, and when I heard her speak, she sounded exactly like my other sister. I was not drunk when I made this call, as Joan writes in her book.
Two years later, 1974, we called her and were reunited with her. But by 1981, Joan began interfering with our lives, calling child abuse on one sister, stealing bead trim off the wedding dress of another sister, (and the dress was originally my mother’s) lying, manipulating people to create strife and tension and fighting between family members. By 1990, she stole hundreds of dollars from me, in 1993, she filed false police reports on me, in 1994-95, she called my employer repeatedly to get me fired, she wrote letters to elected officials giving out personal details of my life, in 1999, she sent me a letter telling me my husband got the next-door neighbor pregnant, and much, much more.
These actions, that caused me and my family much pain and grief did cause us to turn our backs on her. Would you want to associate with someone who files false police reports on you and calls your job to get you fired?
Perhaps Joan does have a beef against the adoption system because she feels that her adoptive parents “lied” to her. THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN! Just because they lied to her, does NOT give her the right to do all those things to us, her biological kin. Obviously the people who adopted and raised her did not instill a proper value system in her. Again,THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN, as long as Joan’s value system does not cause me and mine any harm. The problem is, it has. Big time.
Because of Joan Wheeler’s actions she was banished from our family. She will not accept this. She will not accept the consequences of her own actions. She cannot get it through her head that because of the many times she has HURT us, we don’t want her around us. It is her refusal to get these things through her head that is causing her pain. And at this point, I don’t give a damn as to whatever “trauma” she has gone through in her life. I am dealing with the trauma that Joan has caused ME. And to see this lie-filled book, to open this book, to read on these pages, LIES about myself, is HURTFUL.
A call to arms? Why? So these “damaged” individuals can turn around and do damage to other people? NO WAY!
So now this lying book has been pulled off the market, good riddance I say.
And I add this small comment to Ms. Urdang, indeed to EVERYbody who knows Joan Wheeler, whether personally in Buffalo, or on the internet: TELL HER TO STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY AND STOP WRITING LIES ABOUT US.
Joan got slapped down and slapped down real hard with the pulling of her precious book from publication. And that’s the consequences of her actions. That’s life Joan, DEAL WITH IT. TAKE YOUR PSYCHOSES AWAY FROM US AND LEAVE US ALONE!
Like this:
THE BOOK FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER HAS BEEN PULLED FROM PUBLICATION BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO THE PUBLISHER THAT JOAN LIED IN THE BOOK! May 9, 2011
Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters, Uncategorized.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, false accusations of sexual abuse, fish stories, Forbidden Family, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining, wrongful publication of a photo that the author does not own the copyright to!
comments closed
Readers of this blog and Joan’s website may be interested to know that:
THE BOOK FORBIDDEN FAMILY HAS BEEN PULLED FROM PUBLICATION BECAUSE OF THE MANY LIES TOLD IN IT.
Joan says on her website today, “thank you for the phenomenal publicity that we have given her.”
Roflmao! Another delusion from a person who needs to have psych medications!
Joan M. Wheeler has egg on her face – she has been EXPOSED as a LIAR and a CON-ARTIST!
The “phenomenal publicity” contained in this blog “Refuting the Book Forbidden Family” has always been to chronicle and PROVE with actual documents that Joan is a LIAR. Only an IMBECILE thanks the people who have brought attention to the fact that they are a LIAR! 
There cannot be many actual copies of this book – She had to SELF-PUBLISH it, with the lowest package that the company offered – $800.00 – do the math people – the selling price of the book is $45.00 – it is offered on Amazon.com which gets about 40% of the monies. Trafford gets it’s cut – they have to make a profit – so figuring at least 75% going to Amazon and Trafford – that leaves $200.00 from her initial investment! Divide that up – I get about 4 and a half copies! We can account for 5 copies right off the bat. And having spoken on the phone with a representative from Trafford, we got this statement: “It is hardly a best-seller.” Roflmao! So who is Joan trying to fool? – Don’t be fooled by this con-artist – she’s a liar, she’s been exposed – she is dead in the water.
She may try to come up with a “new and improved” book, but rest assured, The Three Sippel Sisters will be right there to make dam sure she tells the truth.
So here is the email I sent to the publisher Trafford/Author Solutions over the weekend, and their response? THEY PULLED THE BOOK!
Now stop and ask yourself the question WHY? Why would the company pull the book just because I, Ruth, emailed them – BECAUSE THEY SEE THE PROOF THAT YOU DELUDED PEOPLE AND JOAN WON’T ADMIT TO: THAT JOAN M. WHEELER IS A LIAR! – Of course those people who see right through Joan’s lies are not delusional and know just what kind of nonsense, word-twisting, fact-twisting propaganda Joan is capable of. For Joan to try to justify her lies by saying she purposely mixed up dates and events to protect identities is BULLSHIT!
To lie about the length of an order of protection is protecting NO ONE! To stretch the actual time of six-months to one year does nothing to protect ANY one’s identity. To LIE about a non-event (a 3 month court battle and further LIE that “Brenda” accosted her children outside a court room was done to put her birth sister in a bad light and garner sympathy for herself UNDER FALSE PRETENSES). Don’t be fooled by her propaganda! She has said over and over that everything in her book was the TRUTH. Now, by saying she “mixed up dates and events” she is ADMITTING THAT SHE DID NOT PRESENT THE TRUTH. Like a true snake with a forked tongue, she is trying to cover her ass. DON’T BUY IT! Her own daughter says “my mother is crafty at twisting words.”
I have said MANY times on this blog that Joan continuously mixes up dates and events and presents them in an untruthful manner. I have challenged her MANY times to come clean. I have said again and again that even when confronted by actual documents and her own handwritten letters to explain the discreencies, all she does is say she is telling the truth. For a year and a half this blog has been saying this over and over. For a year and a half she kept saying that – why all of a sudden is she changing her story? Because on Friday, May 6, she was told to do revisions of her book – and by posting her “thank you” on her website on Friday, she is COVERING HER LYING ASS! But after receiving an email from me on Monday morning (May 9,) the decision was made BY THE PUBLISHER that instead of a revision, the book Forbidden Family will be pulled in its entirety.
Her rationale of lying was “Protecting identitys?” BALONEY! If she wrote ONLY the truth – the identity would still be protected – but what readers don’t know – is that in back in the early 1990′s she published a short article called “The Secret is Out” and used OUR TRUE NAMES! Anybody in the adoption reform field who read that article, then read the book Forbidden Family would already KNOW our names – because Joan had already published our names 20 years ago. So who is Joan kidding when she says that WE identified ourselves on this blog first – now SHE did. She did NOT protect our identities. Joan used her real name in the book. Sh used her real birth name Sippel and put MY family’s photo on the back – and it takes no genius in the City of Buffalo to recognize my father, a well-known employee at Buffalo City Hall, and many people knew about his giving his daughter for adoption – to put 2 and 2 together and identify me and others in the book.
She also puts in her book, my mother’s true name – and since MY name is in her obituary – published in 1956 – MY identity is right there. And smearing somebody’s reputation, whether you use their true name, or not is just simply the same thing – a smear campaign. Joan, you cannot weasel your way out of it – you are a LIAR! Plain and simple as that! LIAR!
Here then is my letter to the publisher:
May 6, 2011 –
Eugene Hopkins
Trafford, Author Solutions
Dear Mr. Hopkins,
I am the younger sister of Gert McQueen, with whom you have been in discussions with for the past few months over the book that your company published, “Forbidden Family” by Joan M. Wheeler.
I know that you had received our complaint about this book back on January 21, 2011. I also emailed you my co-complaint on this book. Included in my email, I attached several scanned official court documents pertaining to court cases between Ms. Wheeler and myself.
It is my understanding that recently you remarked to Gert that you were reluctant to get involved in a “family squabble.” Mr. Hopkins, Ms. Wheeler ceased to be a legal family member to us when she was adopted out of our family in 1957. Although we were reunited in 1974, I cut ties with her in 1990 after she stole hundreds of dollars from me. She further alienated herself to me in 1993 when she filed a false police report against me, over phone calls that I placed to her house, (in response to a letter she sent me). I called her house, and she said to me “hold on,” and hung up on me. She then reported to the police that I was placing threatening calls to her. I was summoned into court and Ms. Wheeler was granted a six-month order of protection against me.
In her book, that your company published, she records this incident, but claims that I was placed under arrest (I was not.), that she was granted a one-year order of protection against me (it was for six-months), that I was placed on probation (I was not), and that I have a criminal record (I do not).
I covered this and more in my emailed complaint to you and provided the actual court documents that prove that Ms. Wheeler lied, committing the crime of LIBEL in her book, that your company published.
In another part of her book, Ms. Wheeler describes a three month court battle between me and her in the year of 1994. This is completely false.
Also, on the back cover of the book, which your company published, is a family photograph that is of my parents, my siblings, and myself. Ms. Wheeler herself is NOT in the photograph at all – and the picture was taken BEFORE Ms. Wheeler was not even born, therefore, she wasn’t even a member of the family pictured on the back of her book. I have never given Ms. Wheeler permission, orally, or in writing, permission to use my photograph on her book. Also, since the photograph was taken sometime mid-1955, and Ms. Wheeler was born on January 7, 1956, and then 4 months later adopted out of the family, she does not OWN this photograph. She may “own” a paper copy of this photo, but since she was NOT a legal member of the family depicted in the photo, she does NOT have the legal right to publish it and gain monetary gain from it.
Whether you think of me and Ms. Wheeler as “family members” or not has no bearing on the basis of our complaint – that is being that Ms. Wheeler (and your company) has/have published my picture without my legal consent. In lying about a three month court case between us in 1994, and lying about the length of time the order of protection granted to her in 1993, Ms. Wheeler is presenting falsehoods about the City Court of the City of Buffalo. When Ms. Wheeler presents in her book that I was placed under arrest, she is presenting falsehoods about the Buffalo Police Department.
Further, may I ask you Mr. Hopkins, should a person be subjected to such slander and libel with no recourse, simply because they are related to the perpetrator? The issue of Ms. Wheeler being related to me and Gert is a NON-issue. Ms. Wheeler lied in her book. That is all that should concern you.
Gert tells me that several times in her conversations with you, you have told her that our complaint is in your legal department, and you have yet to hear back from your lawyers.
On your website is the Terms and Conditions for authors to agree to when submitting their work for publication. I cite the following items that Ms. Wheeler is in violation of YOUR own Terms and Conditions.
2. YOUR LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY
2.1. You represent that (i) you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.
Ms. Wheeler is in violation of this because she has MY likeness on the back of her book, WITHOUT my consent.
2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include
falsely attributed statements of third parties.
. Ms. Wheeler is in violation of the second sentence, because as I pointed out above, she has lied about actual court proceedings between her and me.
I further cite YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented to authors on your website:
7. TERMINATION OF AGREEMENT
7.1. Suspension of Services. Upon a breach, default, or failure by you to comply with these Terms and Conditions or the failure to cooperate with us in the provision of any Services, we will have the right to suspend any or all performance until you cooperate with these Terms and Conditions and/or cooperate with us in the provision of Services.
Since I have just pointed out that Ms. Wheeler IS in violation of 2.1 and 2.4 of YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented on your website, Mr. Hopkins, you have NO choice, but to pull the book Forbidden Family off the market, your website, and your advertisement of it on Amazon.com. I don’t understand why your lawyers cannot come up with a timely interpretation of your own terms and conditions, the definition of the term libel, and the application of the term libel to Ms. Wheeler’s statements of me in her book that you published.
On page 670 of the Tenth Edition (1994) of the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are the following definitions of the term LIBEL:
- A written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression.
- A statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt.
- Defamation of a person by written or representable means
- The act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel
I believe that all four definitions cover what Ms. Wheeler has done in her book. By falsely reporting in her book that I have an arrest record, she is conveying a unjustly unfavorable impression.
You have stated to Mrs. McQueen that you do not want to be in the middle of a “family squabble.” This is no “family squabble.” It is accurate accusation of libel and a justifiable demand for the pulling of this book.
I expect to be hearing shortly on your decision to do a right and lawful action: the pulling of this libelous book.
Thank you for your help in this matter.
Very sincerely yours,
Mrs. Ruth Pace
cc: Kevin Weiss; Kevin A. Gray; Gert McQueen
Like this:
How to get your message out…not! Joan Wheeler really needs to rein in her anger! December 9, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, anger, anger management, being an idiot, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, deceptions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hypocrisy, hypocrites, Lies, putting your foot in your mouth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, self-sabotage, theft, whining
comments closed
|
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2010, 09:06:36 PM »
http://www.thedailyreporter.com/communities/coldwater/x556844305/Adoption-Good-bad-news
|
 |
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2010, 05:16:06 PM »
|
|
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2010, 08:23:46 PM »
|
Okay here’s another espisode of nonsense from Joan who doesn’t get it that it’s not about stalking, it about honesty and telling the truth. If someone is talking trash and lies about me and my family you better damn well know I’ll be watching and reporting about it. You don’t like it, then shut up.
The newest from Joan…
Re: The Daily Reporter Spews Adoption Kool-Aid, Comments Needed
« Reply #34 on: Today at 02:20:44 PM »
Thanks, K, for seeing that they are, indeed, stalking again. They’ve stalked me my entgire life: during my childhood by asking an aunt wehre i lived, and then calling me on the phone when I was 18. Sure, I get it. They were looiking for their missing sister. My point has always been we should never have been separated in the first place. That separation has caused us all great pain. Finding me caused me and my adoptive parents great pain. It is even now very diffficult for me to carry on with the task of enjoying adoption reform with the three of them pestering and stalking around they do.
Your support — folks who are adoptees and supporters on this forum — mean the world to me. Thank you for your udnerstand ing in seeing that i am trying to escape their petty nonsense. do you see that they are causing the trouble? Calling me a HO even! Shit, I just wish they’d crawl back into the whole they came from. They are dysfunctional, mean-spirited and sad. And they read our board and follow what we do just to keep track of me to keep me “in line”.
I’m sorry all of you must be sunject to their BS.
***
From Gert,
Sorry Joan you still don’t get it do you? Can’t you think straight?
Number one HO is short for half orphan…isn’t that what you call yourself?
Number two, it’s not about keeping you ‘in line’, it’s about keeping you honest! You could easily escape by telling the truth or answer to all the dirty deeds you have done to us and to all the lies you wrote about. Get off your sorry story! No one is stalking you, we never did, we are not now. Have you not read the posts, on this blog, about what I think about your cyberbullying and stalking nonsense? Get real.
Stop lying…I did NOT know where you lived, let alone your name until you were 18 years old…that’s legal age, deal with it and stop using it as a pity issue. Pain! accept it and deal with it already! Everyone else has why can’t you? Because you are a victim you like to be a victim and you can’t stand it when someone calls you on it…you are a weak minded person.
And when are you going to grow up and take responsibility for your own dirty deeds against others, like myself? You had nothing to do with causing me and my family any pain? You never hurt me, Ruth, Kathy or anyone else? You are so innocent! You can’t stand it that we will not go away from telling about your lies. We will continue to refut every word you say that is not the truth, be in in that book of lies, or elsewhere. Get use to it, because we are not going away. Deal with it
2. Ruth – December 9, 2010
Joan says to her puppets: I’m sorry all of you must be sunject to their BS.
Well, just WHO is subjecting them to our “BS?” it is JOAN! What the hell is the matter with her?
As for stalking her her entire life? My god! I was THREE YEARS OLD – HOW THE HELL DOES A TODDLER STALK SOMEONE?
As for Joan’s pyschobabble about our “separation anxiety? (being separated from HER – who the hell does she think she is? My deity?
Joan, you just showed EVERYONE what an asshole you are – you go on forums pretending to be a psychologist and talk psychobabble about MY brain, yet condemn me for what you diagnose me with!!!!
Get this straight once and for all: I DID NOT SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF MY CHILDHOOD AND ADULTHOOD MISSING YOU!
Yes, I missed you to a degree, and yes, when you were about 16 (NOT your f’ing entire life) was when Gert got your last name from Aunt Catherine. THAT’S ALL WE DID! Just before you turned 18, it was ME who called on the phone to Wheelers in the phone book and discovered you. THEN Gert called you. IT WAS NOT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SO STOP YOUR F’ING LYING!
Do you people see how Joan exagerates everything?
And how she contradicts herself from one forum to another and what she writes on her own website and in her own book?
My go people are you that blind and stupid? In her book, she says she was indeed a teen when we siblings found her. On her byberbullying page in October 2010, she says she was TEN YEARS OLD. NOW, it’s her ENTIRE LIFE!
Are you that f’ing stupid Joan? And you friends of hers – do you not see this? Are you as stupid as her?
And if she is reading what WE write, then SHE is stalking us!!!!
And do you see us writing about her on forums when she sticks to her adoption work? NO! The only time we sisters speak out is when Joan talks about us on internet forums and LIES about us.
Joan has no business writing about us – we were children – had NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ADOPTION!
SO SHUT UP ABOUT US JOAN AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO SUBJECT YOUR PUPPETS TO US.
simple and easy as that.
3. Ruth – December 9, 2010
I did not call you a HO- I was using YOUR initials of HalfOrphan -H.O. because at first I didn’t see that you did indeed use your real name. I was trying to save myself typing.
shut up. There was a famous Hawaiian singer called Don Ho.
god Joan, you are such a simpleton.
NOW I’m calling you a name.
4. Gert – December 9, 2010
some else on the forum just said to Joan about us:
“Don’t these idiots realize that when they go on public comment boards and give the title and details of your book that they are *publicizing* it for you?”
Gert says, oh indeed we do realize that and we are not worrying…why you ask? Because any thinking person out there will take a look at both blogs, Joan’s and ours and make up there minds BEFORE they spend anywhere between $40 and $50 for a book of lies. We also realize that we are putting in a plug for our web site that has all the evidence against Joan…well not all of it YET, but it will be there!
Joan’s book is garbage, but hey don’t take my word for it, go ahead and spend $50 and see what you get
It is over 600 pages of angry rants. I’m currently working on chapter 38 which says it’s about evidence to prove her case…without the book in front of me…that chapter is about 84 pages long, 17 pages of documents, 62 pages of rants against every person and event that she could think of to rant about and then 5 pages of ‘possible’ adoption reform material. But, don’t take my word for it, go and spend your $50 and buy the dam book and then come and talk to me.
Now on the other hand, Joan is crying again that we nasty sisters are after her…then why does she have OUR WEB SITE ADVERTISED ON HER BLOG?
Can Joan’s friends answer that question? Why does Joan hide it on her web page…look under ‘about the book’ and there you will find the plug for us and our blog…Joan CAN’T HELP HERSELF.
without us sisters Joan DOESN’T have a case, she doesn’t have anyone to continue to blame for her miserable life that she and only she created.
That is our MESSAGE…we are truth tellers. Joan is a liar and a weak person.
5. Ruth – December 9, 2010
On her cyberbullying page Joan wrote the following in October 2010:
“It is unfortunate that serious adoption reformers and the general public who want to learn a new perspective must be subject to the content of this Blog.”
then says further “go to my sister’s blogs” Then she gives their titles and web addresses.
Then whines that WE are subjecting people to our blog! WTF?
Joan is advertising our blog.Joan is directing people to our blog! Joan is “subjecting” people to our blog. roflmao at her ignorance.
6. gert – December 10, 2010
In my comment above I quote this from someone speaking to Joan:
“Don’t these idiots realize that when they go on public comment boards and give the title and details of your book that they are *publicizing* it for you?”
Gert speaking now:
It would really be NICE if people would read and understand BEFORE they open up their mouths.
It was Joan HERSELF who placed the title of her book on that public comment board before I did.
Joan’s friends should not think that we sisters are wrong just because we oppose Joan’s book and her lying of us. We have had a lifetime of knowing Joan being abused by her and hearing her lies. It was Joan herself that made this whole business PUBLIC by publishing a book of lies for the purpose of exposing and exploiting two families.
I would like to know if any, of Joan’s friends on the adult adoptee forum including the puppets, have spent the $40 to $50 for the book and who have actually read it,and I do mean every page of it?
If you have not read the book, or if you are not in the book, then you are NOT QUALIFIED to say anything about what we sisters have to say, period.
And if you have read the book, I challedge you to show me something, anything, in that book where Joan is RIGHT and we are WRONG!
Joan won’t answer our accussations that she lies, how about her puppets, or her friends? Any takers?
Guess not! I’m waiting!!
7. Ruth – December 10, 2010
And I may add:
That it was JOAN herself who in September 2008, out of the clear blue sky – who went on the internet with a warning to “The Three Sippel Sisters.” Even though myself had been on the internet since the year 2000, with no contact with Joan, until 2004 when I started a Family Photo site, and Joan threw a hissy fit when I corrected the date of a picture that she had scanned – a picture that was from GERT’s childhood, NOT Joan’s – and because she NEVER cares to get the FACTS of OUR childhood correct, had the wrong date on it. I booted her off the site – and had no further contact with her – THEN in October 2009 – it was JOAN again, who used the internet as a tool against us. Gert had been on the internet since the 90′s, and there was NO problem.
As I said, I had been on the internet since 2000 with only that one problem. And Kathy, was BRAND NEW to the internet as of October 2009.
So why was there the need to WARN us in Sept. 2008, AND Joan attacked our religious paths. (bigot).
JOAN also first mentioned our names, partial addresses and named my employer on her website – what does where I work have to do with adoption reform?
But you people have blinders on. You seem to think that if one is adopted, there is no wrong doing on that person’s part.
YOU people do not know Joan in person. WE do. YOU people have not seen her in action. WE have.
But the evidence is right here – but you refuse to take a look. JOAN lies in her book and says on her website that I have been placed on probation. I have provided the actual court document that PROVES she is a liar. If you idiots ignore that fact – and take Joan Wheeler’s word as gospel truth – well, all I can say is what I’ve said before: YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS AND HAVE SAWDUST FOR BRAINS. AND YOU ARE WORTHLESS HUMANS
Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind? November 19, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, invasion of privacy, Lies, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining
comments closed
Back on December 22, 1994, somebody called child abuse on Joan Wheeler and said a nasty lie about her and MY husband. Joan keeps insisting I made the call. Well, the caller identified themself as me. But I am not so stupid as to make a prank child abuse call and give out my real name! I also am NOT going to call child abuse on my own husband. Why would I do that? I don’t want him to get into trouble.
This call came at the same time that Joan was complaining to my employer that I had hacked into hospital computers and fouled up her bill. Sorry, I work as a nurse’s aide, 11pm to 7am. Don’t have access to the billing computers. The computers on the nursing stations were not even linked to the billing computers. My employer checked into her complaint, found that I was innocent, and told Joan this. But she wasn’t going to have it. She was going to MAKE me guilty. So she called the hospital everyday for several months trying to get me fired.
I have posted here, below, a 3 page letter that Joan wrote on January 6, 1995 to the billing supervisor where I work. In this letter, she accuses me of tampering with her bill. She says the first mix-up occurred in February 1994, and the most recent was on December 14, 1994. She also confirms that the child abuse call was made three days before Christmas 1994 on page 3 of this letter. Since this mix-up with her bill was occurring in December 1994, I believe she made that child abuse call herself, so that I would get the blame, and my fiance John would leave me. She even sent letters to him via his mother’s house telling him to leave me. I have posted below Joan’s own letter to John referring to this harassment charge. Oh poor Joan had an exam on the day we were scheduled to go to court. And she wanted my husband and mother in law to appear for HER.
My employer never told me about Joan’s allegations. They knew I was innocent, and obviously chalked Joan up to be a crackpot. Because they didn’t fire me, Joan decided to make those phone calls designed to get me fired. In March 1995, I had a problem with my paycheck and came in during the daytime to get the problem fixed. That is when I finally found out about the phone calls to my employer, and I pulled her into court for harassment. I was told that these calls started in the fall of 1994. I was told this by the secretaries of the nursing office. I also talked to hospital administration and they confirmed that they had investigated me and found me innocent. They also confirmed the almost daily phone calls for several months placed by Joan Wheeler trying to get me fired. They told me that I had nothing to worry about – my job was secure, and Joan was a crackpot. They described her phone calls as “bizarre.” And many times, they simply hung up on Joan.
Please note that on page 3 she demands privacy for herself, but gives pertinent details of MY life to this stranger. All she had to do was say that “my sister, who is employed at your hospital, and I do not get along. There has been previous court-related issues between us. Is ts possible that Ruth tampered with my bill?” Why the drama? Why does she go to everybody and blab MY personal life to people, yet DEMANDS privacy for herself? Because she is a bully.
On page 341 in her book, Joan writes that she entered Buffalo State College as a social work student in January 1995, and her divorce became final in the autumn of 1995. Not one mention of my court case against her in April 1995. Yet, she writes letters to my husband referring to the court case, pleading with him to get me to drop my harassment charges against her, because she had an exam on that date. Why wouldn’t she mention this court case in her book? BECAUSE THIS WAS A CASE THAT I, RUTH SIPPEL PACE INITIATED AGAINST HER AND SHE KNEW SHE WAS IN THE WRONG. Unfortunately, the judge threw it out, saying “sisters should get along.” Joan also didn’t mention in her book, and she won’t tell you (but I will) that she not only wrote letters to the financial supervisor where I work, but also the mayor of Buffalo and other elected officials telling them details of my private life! Then she mailed me copies of them! These letters and the phone calls to my employer were the basis of my harassment charge against her. Joan will only report on mail that she received from me – funny how she neglects to report on mail that she sent TO me. Isn’t that strange? Not really, because a bully will have you believe that they do nothing wrong. Here is the letter she wrote to my husband and mother in law referring to the 1995 court case:
On December 31, 1994, Joan wrote to the Child Abuse center in Albany New York. (this was also in the packet of shit she mailed to me). This letter is posted here as well. Please note that she indicates that the date of the call was made in December 1994. She also lies to officials in Albany and says that I was sentanced to six months probation. No, Joan was given a six-months order of protection against for phone calls of June 1993. (Joan says on page 314 in her book that she signed the complaint about those phone calls in February 1993. – which would have been impossible – as this would have been 5 months BEFORE the calls were made). – See the complaint below, dated July 1993.
Also on page 2 of the letter she wrote to my employer, she says that I was found guilty on August 9, 1993 for annoyance phone calls and was placed on six months probation. (again, no, it was not probation, it was an order of protection), and this ended on February 9, 1994, but on page 324 in her book, she is relating an incident of August 1, 1993, and says I was in
violation of the order of protection. So she has the date wrong on this – but does correctly state it was an order of protection, and NOT probation.
Joan says on the bottom of page 328 in her book that the child abuse call was made in early December 1993, and on page 329 we went to court over this in 1994. No, we did not. How could we be in court in the spring of 1994 when December 1994 and the call hadn’t occurred yet?
In 1999, Joan sends me this harassing letter stating that the child abuse call and it’s court battle occurred in 1995. 
In September 2010, Joan posts on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum that the child abuse call occurred in 1996. On her new cyberbullying blog, dated October 2010, she still refers to the year 1996 as the occurrance of this child abuse call. Here is the screenshot of her citing that year .
Joan keeps insisting her book is the truth. How can it be? She states in the book the call was made in 1993 and I provide letters here written by her giving the true date of 1994, and a bullshit date of 1995. And I provide the screenshot here where she says it was in 1996.
To sum up:
I was found guilty of making annoyance phone calls to her in June of 1993 – she had baited me with a forged letter from her son to my husband, but the envelope was addressed to me. When I called her, she kept hanging up on me. A week later, my electricity was shut off – I called her for help, as she still owed me money. Money that she STOLE from me.She kept hanging up on me. She reported to the police that I was calling and swearing at her and hanging up on her. She was granted a restraining order against me from August 9, 1993 – February 9, 1994.
On February 1994, a mix-up of her medical bill occurred, and she accused me of doing it. Another mix-up occurred on December 14, 1994. Starting some time in the autumn of 1994, Joan begins calling my employer almost everyday for several months to various departments in the hospital, where Joan was trying to get me fired.
A phony child abuse call was made about Joan on December 22, 1994. This call was made to implicate me, as the caller identified themself as me, and named my husband as the child abuser along with Joan. On December 31, 1994, Joan writes to Albany New York about this child abuse call, and lies to the authorities about me being placed on probation. On January 6, 1995, Joan writes to the financial supervisor at my hospital and correctly gives the dates of the child abuse call, but again lies and says that I was placed on probation. She does give the correct dates of August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994 of the six months order of protection. but in various places on the internet and in her book, she says that she was granted a one year order of protection. She gives FOUR different years that the child abuse call was made, and in the book says the call was made in early December 1993.
The truthful date of the call was December 22 and the year was 1994. NOT 1993, NOT 1995, NOT 1996. The actual date was December 22, 1994, NOT early December 1993 as she says in the book.
And the truthful date of the order of protection she got against me was August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. And it was an order of protection, NOT probation. She signed the complaint against me in July 1993, NOT February 1993.
Seems to me that Joan is either a bullshit artist, a liar, or someone who just writes any old thing that pops up into her head. Whatever, it still produces the same result – it negates her claim that her book Forbidden Family is a truthful book, because she just can not and will not tell the truth.
Joan Wheeler presents herself as a social worker, an adoption reform expert. She pats herself on her back on how “smart” she is. She is soooo knowledgeable about the law (is she a lawyer?) She is soooo knowledgable about adoption law and practices. (again, is she a lawyer?) Yet with all her telling her book and blog readers how smart she is, with her college degrees, she can’t seem to get dates straight in her book and on the internet. And she doesn’t know the difference between an order of protection and probation. Also doesn’t seem to know that the difference between being summoned into court to answer a harassment charge and being placed on arrest.
Joan – if your book is not selling - perhaps the reason is because you are a liar and you didn’t write your book correctly? All you had to do was stick to the truth of things. It is not my fault people aren’t buying your book – it’s your own fault. If you had stayed to the truth in all things – because when you don’t, people will not trust you, nor believe what you have to say or write. I didn’t hold a gun to your head and force you to write 4 different years about that child abuse call. I didn’t force you to lie about the duration of the order of protection you obtained against me. All I did was what any honorable investigative reporter does – report the truth. What readers do with what YOU write and what I write is up to them. People don’t want to read nonsense from a liar. People don’t want legal or psychological advise from a person who can’t keep important data straight.
You had no business reporting lies about me or anyone else. Now your lies are catching up to you. You have only yourself to blame.
1. Gert – November 19, 2010
Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!
while we wait for Joan to do the right thing…
Joan is very very worried about how much we sisters are writing about her book, for you see, she is afraid of what is coming up! Yep, Joan knows the truth and she has seen in the past year that we sisters are very determined to expose all lies of Joan’s. So she must ‘head us off at the pass’, so to speak, by continuing her basic rap that we sisters are after her and that we are harming her etc etc.
Do the right thing Joan
—-crash! Ruth destroys the stereo, cos she can’t stand rap music and she can’t stand the friggin whining that she has heard over and over and over and over and over-the same old refrain
Joan Wheeler LIES about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen in her book Forbidden Family September 20, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Lies in the book Forbidden Family.Tags: adoption, adoption reform, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, Lies, Mr. Joe Soll, stupidity, theft
comments closed
This post is about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, who wrote the forward to Joan Wheeler’s book Fobidden Family. He wrote the forward in 2006, but the book wasn’t published until November 2009, with additions to it that included events that took place in the summer of 2009. I am assuming he READ a manuscript of the book before he wrote the forward. But I guarantee that the manuscript he read is NOT the same that was finally published, for it contains a huge lie – ABOUT HIM!
First - a bit of history – because Dr. Hoksbergen is involved here – when my sister Kathy moved to England in 1974, she left behind two large trunks of belongings, intending to send for them – my brother had possession of them until 1978 when he moved to Arizona. JOAN then took them in, and when she did, she took on the responsibility of caring for them. In 1990-91, Kathy started sending Joan money orders to be used for shipping costs. We have the actual letters that Joan in her handwriting, acknowledges receipt of the money, but SHE NEVER SHIPPED THE BELONGINGS. (therefore, she STOLE the money that Kathy sent her). Finally, Kathy called my father, he yelled at Joan, who’s excuse was that she and her husband only had one car, she had little kids, she didn’t have the time to ship them, blah, blah, blah. My father, WHO DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE – managed to collect Kathy’s belongings, and ship them onto her for a total of about $150.00. (when I first posted about this, I didn’t see the second reciept and put down it was around $52.00). BUT – not all of Kathy’s possessions were there – Joan KEPT some of the stuff – STEALING IT. – oh yes, the letters that Joan and Kathy were writing back and forth here were quite friendly – so much for Joan’s assertions that she has not had contact with Kathy since the late 80′s – another LIE!
Kathy was angry that not all of her possessions were returned, and rightfully so — so what does Joan do? She enlisted the help of Dr. Rene Hoksbergen to send a letter to Kathy, on Utrecht University letterhead stationary telling Kathy that she should feel sorry for Joan, she doesn’t have the money to ship her goods to her – that it was going to cost $500.00 to ship the stuff – (obviously Joan LIED to him about receiving the money from Kathy in the first place).
I will have to scan and post my father’s receipts and the letter from Dr. Hoksbergen – and how dare Joan drag a STRANGER into our family business, and how dare he write to Kathy advising her on how deal with Joan. The result? – a formal complaint was made to Utrecht University in 1993 and a letter of apology from the university was sent to Kathy. Do you see how Joan drags even PROFESSIONAL people into her personal life and cons them into actually interfering with our family’s personal, private lives? This letter will also be posted.
The following are excerpts from previous posts that I have written months ago on this blog, and am reprinting them here:
On page 275, Joan Wheeler recounts a completely fabricated story where she and her husband brought adoption expert from Utrecht, Holland, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen for a visit to my house to meet me and my husband. THIS NEVER HAPPENED! I met Dr. Hoksbergen at Joan’s house on Swinburne St. Buffalo, BUT DR. HOKSBERGEN NEVER CAME TO MY HOUSE AND HE NEVER MET MY HUSBAND, AT OUR HOUSE OR JOAN’S HOUSE.
When I did meet Dr. Hoksbergen, I thought he was a rather nice man. I barely spoke to him, as I am shy around new people.
Joan then recounts a totally ficticious account of Dr. Hoksbergen’s fictitious visit, including a description of me jumping up and down, waving my arms around, yelling at Dr. Hoksbergen and calling Joan names. She says that my husband and I exchanged disgusted looks at each other.
She says that her mentor Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, adoption expert from Utrecht, Holland came to my house to meet me and my husband. LIE! He never came to my house. Joan describes a scene where I jump up and am pumping my arms around calling her obsessed and POSSESSED. This is a lie!
I met Dr. Hoksbergen once, AT JOAN’S HOUSE, AND I BARELY SPOKE TO THE MAN.
Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, I was going to write another post about the time Joan conned YOU into that nonsense about my sister in England’s belongings. I wasn’t going to use your real name, but since you wrote the forward to this book of lies, I hold you partially responsible for this crazy woman’s book of lies.
In your letter to my sister April 19, 1993, you tell K. that the cost of shipping her belongings to her would cost $500.00, and Joan did not have a car at that time to drive the stuff to a post office.
What Joan did NOT tell you, Dr. Hoksbergen, is that K. had sent a money order to Joan to cover the shipping costs. And she wrote and told Joan if she needed to take a cab, to call her and K. would send more money for cabfare. It was my father, who sent some of K.’s belongings to her for $52.50 OUT OF HIS OWN MONEY! -
back to the present – Dr. Rene Hoksbergen is going to be at “Shedding Light on the Adoption Experience, VI” in New York City, at the Park Central Hotel, this weekend, September 24 – 25, 2010. I suggest you go see him and ask him pointblank about the lies Joan Wheeler has told about him in her book.
Don’t take the Three Sippel Sisters word that Joan Wheeler is a liar – go ask TWO of your own – Mr. Joe Soll and Dr. Rene Hoksbergen!
Gert – September 21, 2010
Ruth is correct. I have already written about this appalling episode and it shall be seen here in due time. My entries are following the page/chapter sequence in the book and will be posted in sequence. I have a copy of this letter by Doctor Rene and I have commented line by line about the letter. But, readers will have to wait for it to appear here, in due time.
Joan has so much to answer for…we have only touched the surface.
I request that everyone of those people whom have doubted us birth sisters to contact both Mr. Joe Soll and Dr. Rene Hoksbergen and ask them for yourselves about what we here are asserting.
We have given you proof…now go out there and check it out…don’t believe us…don’t believe Joan…find out for yourselves…unless of course…you WANT be taken for a ride by Joan.
Ruth here again – ok this is a lot to go thru – but here is the correspondence regarding Joan and Rene about Kathy’s belongings. First up – Joan’s acknowledgement that she got the money order. Then Dad’s recipts where he only spent about $150.00, then the letter from Rene lecturing Kathy, and saying it would cost $500. Then Kathy’s letter to Rene. Happy reading! but first here are 2 additional comment from Gert and myself. Please keep them in mind while you reading them. btw when you click on the image, it may shrink back – wait a second, a small orange box will appear on the lower right hand side of the image – click on the box and the image will enlarge again – and you will be able to read it.
yes, there is alot to read here, but Joan has always given LOTS of trouble to her sisters. –So it’s good that people get to see the behind the scenes that Joan NEVER put in her book or wants the public to know about. —It’s good that people get to see what we birth sisters have had to put up with with Joan, the Liar.
Ruth – September 24, 2010 —-and if you see – this letter by Kathy was written in 1993 – 17 years ago – and what does it say?
“Prof. Hoksbergen — why should we feel sorry for a 36 year old woman — she’s not the only one who suffers in life — I want my things back (that Joan stole) — Joan LIED to you — Joan, leave me alone — Joan, stop getting people to do your dirty work — Joan is violating my privacy — Joan won’t take no for an answer — Joan whines and complains she is poor”
Sound familiar? Because it is 17 years later and Joan is STILL DOING THE SAME DAM THING! AND STILL WHINING ABOUT THE SAME DAM THING! — the first image is the letter written by Joan to Kathy where she says she got the money order from Kathy – then whines about why she can’t get Kathy’s belongings to her – her kids were in school all day – the youngest was 10 – her attic wasn’t that big – give me a break – she couldn’t find them. But she sure found them when our Dad yelled at her and he came over in a cab and collected them – and he used the cab to take the stuff to the post office and sent the stuff over to England. WITH HIS OWN MONEY! Joan never gave him anything from the money that Kathy sent to her – nor did Joan return that money to Kathy. She saysin her letter that she put the money into a special account – where? What bank? And if she had the time to go to the bank to set up a special account – then she had time to find the stuff in the attic. And I know the neighborhood she lived in – ain’t no bank there. Closest one was down by Broadway Market – where she would have taken a bus to get to if she didn’t have a car – why all this running around? But no running up the stairs to find the stuff? This makes no sense – she didn’t open a special account at a bank – the “special” account was her own dam pocket! And that’s the dam truth! So Prof. Rene, how does it feel, 17 years later to find out that you were taken for a ride by Joan? Not very good, I would guess. But we know how you feel, believe me, we do – we’ve been there – bullied, manipulated, used, abused, lied to -by the one and only – JOAN WHEELER, BITCH SUPREME!
So the challedge is and will continue to be…for Joan…to ANSWER for her actions…
Why does Joan NOT answer for what she does? Because she is not only a liar but a coward!
~~
Like this:
Why did Joan Wheeler write her book Forbidden Family? pure and simple: it is for revenge! September 13, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, infertilty, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, theft
comments closed
From Lisa in a comment to my post “I am not interested in your opinion of me”:
I think I have read most of your site. I just wanted to add to your post above. I came to your site when searching about adoption reform and your sisters name came up. It was wonderful to read your site. Some of your adjectives about your sister are adjectives that I was thinking. She states herself she was spoiled as a child. That mentality is why we have a generation of people who are self centered, does not care about anyone else, materialistic, condescending, arrogant etc etc etc. I know it is not politically correct to say she should be grateful because in reading the two stories it seems like your families (3 Sippel sisters) didn’t have the easiest of lives yourself do to your mom’s death, while she was “spoiled” her words. Anyway I just wanted to support you and your story. Once the adoption reform “gang” gets wind of your story they will be relentless. They have that “vicious gang” mentality. It’s not let’s join together for a cause and explain our side. They will try to pick you apart in every way. Continue telling your story. I think it should come out in how reunion doesn’t always work and the sick need of some adoptees for OBC. Showing that nothing not even a piece of paper will fix what needs fixing in their souls.
My reply:
Yes, Lisa, Joan was spoiled when she was a child, and well into her adulthood. This is why she never learned boundaries, never learned the word NO, never learned to respect other people’s needs and feelings. It has always been about Joan, Joan, Joan. I could go into a couple of events here, but I want to use them on the blog itself, not comments.
I usually try to be politically correct, because I believe that all people should have their say. But when their say tramples on other people, than the rules have changed. I have ALWAYS supported Joan in her quest for her OBC, which incidentally, she has. It was given to her. So why the crusade? She SAYS it is so that others who cannot get their OBC can legally obtain it. But as I have asked time and time again throughout this blog, why are personal details of MY life on display? What do they have to do with adoption or adoption reform at all? Pray tell, what does the fact that I, Ruth Pace, am a neighborhood activist have to do with JOAN’S adoption, JOAN’S reunion, JOAN’S adoption reform work? And in the book, when she mentions that I am a neighborhood activist, she puts me down for it, saying that my neighborhood was deteriorating. Well, DUH, yeah, that’s why I became a neighborhood activist in the first place! And my neighborhood is much better, thanks to a lot of my work.
The reason that and other personal details of my live is in the book, is clear – it’s a chance to take a swipe at me, to assassinate my character – because that is the whole purpose of her book – it is revenge writing – to get back at everyone in her life who ever angered her, from the mother who up and died when she was an infant, to the birth relatives who did not step in and take her and raise her, to my father who gave her up for adoption, to the Wheelers who adopted her, to a birth cousin who bumped into her at an amusement park when both girls were 10 years old – because she knew that Joan was in reality, Doris, and this little kid, her birth cousin didn’t tell her. (and in the late 90′s Joan harassed this cousin while she was dying of cancer, until the Town of Eden, NY police, NOT my cousin, but the police themselves instituted a harassment case against Joan. Joan’s hatred and anger continues onto her birth siblings, because we were not given up for adoption. And it is for that fact, she is out to punish us.
Yes Lisa, you are correct, when you say that the adult adoptees will not be happy when they get their OBC, or find out their birth names, or meet their birth family. Because they are full of hate. They hate the mother that gave them up. Never mind she may have been the 14 year old victim of a rapist or other circumstances. They just blindly pass judgment on the birth mother and anyone who had a hand in their adoption. And that hatred spills onto infertile women, who merely want a chance to be a mother. And this what I believe is at the heart of Joan’s hatred towards me, an infertile woman adopted her. I am an infertile woman. Joan loves/hates her adoptive mother. Joan hates me. I don’t think she ever loved me, because she stole from me and lied to me before I had my miscarriage. But it was when I lost my son, and I told her that I didn’t want to hear any more stories of her adoption conferences that Joan really became my enemy. I didn’t want to hear about babies, infertility, adoption or anything to do with reproduction because at that point, I needed grief counseling. Joan became angry at me because I told her NO. And spoiled children who grow into spoiled adults cannot stand the word NO. I believe in my heart of hearts her further stealing the hundreds of dollars from me in 1990 was punishment because I dared to cut her out of my life for the years 1987 and 1988. And that was because she would NOT respect me – she would NOT stop talking about infertility. My god, I just had a miscarriage, shut up already! But she HATES infertile women, and now I was an infertile woman, ergo, she must HATE me. She makes a mockery of my miscarriage in her book! When even Jesus carrying his cross to his death, said “Bless the barren,” when St. Veronica wiped his face with her scarf, and the grieving women, stood nearby. Jesus Christ blessed us, but Joan condemns us.
Joan has a need for revenge. Her book, her blog, her statements on the internet, are not about adoption reform at all — it is REVENGE, pure and simple.
Why else would she blatantly lie about court proceedings that are on record? These are indisputable records of FACT. The FACT that she was granted a six-month order of protection against me, which was summarily DISMISSED, but she just bowls over that FACT. She says that it was for one year. This is a BLATANT LIE. I have posted that court document to PROVE THAT JOAN IS A LIAR. She doesn’t care. That’s her story and she’s sticking to it. Even though she’s making herself out to be a fool. Anybody with brains and has an 8th grade reading level can read Joan’s words “I had a one year order of protection.” Then read the actual court document “order of protection: August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.” And anybody with first grade arithmetic skills and who knows the succession of the months, can reason out that from August to February is SIX MONTHS!
As for the adoptees, they come over here from time to time. That’s ok. They are always welcome to read my blog. I have NEVER once said in my blog that adult adoptees are not entitled to their OBC. In fact, I SUPPORT their efforts to have OBCs amended to a TRUTHFUL document. But other than that, I do not want to get into the adoption/adoption reform issue at all. Because that is NOT what this blog is about. This blog is to REFUTE JOAN WHEELER’S LIES ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY. I am not interested in Heather in UK’s adoption issues. I am not interested in Mara Rigge’s adoption issues. They have their issues and lives, and they are none of my business. I am not interested in anybody’s else’s issues. EXCEPT if any reader steps forward and says that they are part of a birth family, was reunited with the adopted person, and is now being bullied by that person.
There are plenty of places in the real world and the cyber world that offer support for infertile women, birthmothers, would-be adoptive parents, adoptive parents, the adopted child, adult adoptees, grief counseling for parents who lose their children, grief counseling for spouse who have lost their partner, but no where is there any help for the siblings of an adoptee. Who stands up for them? And does anybody ever know what happens after an adoption reunion? Oh, they get on Oprah Winfrey and show how they glad they are they found each other. But when the reunion goes sour, what then? Where is there any help? And where is there any help when the soured reunion turns criminal? I took Joan to court in 1995 because of the falsified child abuse call, her calling my place of employment, her writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, telling him that I have a criminal record when I have none. These are deeds of STALKING! I took her to court and the judge dismissed my case! Why? Because the judge said, “sisters should get along.” WTF kind of answer is that? If I can help ANYone who is in this same type of situation, to help them gear up the courage to stand up to their bullies, than I have succeeded.
Also, it is clear that Joan is mentally ill. I know for a fact that she was treated for manic depression. In 1999, when her friend Bonnie gave me Joan’s computer and her discs, which contained an early manuscript of her book, Joan had a part of a journal on the computer and she writes about her manic depression. Now, I know that mentally ill people do not ask to be mentally ill. And perhaps some of her actions are caused by her illness, but WHERE IS MY PROTECTION FROM THAT ILL PERSON? When does it stop? Why must I suffer from character assassination? Why must I have my employers be called and told lies? Why must MY husband be urged to leave me? Why must I suffer? Because SHE is ill? NO WAY! I refuse to be walked on because Joan is ill. I, RUTH PACE HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE A PEACEFUL LIFE! This is guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States! And by the gods, I DEMAND that Joan stop her lies! And I speak for my two sisters Gert and Kathy, and indeed for MY ENTIRE FAMILY. My cousin Gail is dead. Joan harassed her when she was DYING OF CANCER! Joan lies about her in the book. Gail is no longer here to defend herself. So I WILL DEFEND HER.
Joan, you can hang up your keyboard, because your sisters are coming after you. And you have no one to blame but yourself. YOU chose to say the order of protection in 1994 was for one year – no one put a gun to your head and forced you to write that lie. And all the other lies you put in that book, and all the lies you put out on the internet. YOU, Joan Wheeler, YOU did it. And all The Three Sippel Sisters are doing is showing the world what you really are: a lying bitch.
1. gert – September 14, 2010
Again, thank you Lisa, for your words that show that indeed there are people out there that are not fearfull of the truth…
This statement of yours:
“Once the adoption reform “gang” gets wind of your story they will be relentless. They have that “vicious gang” mentality. It’s not let’s join together for a cause and explain our side. They will try to pick you apart in every way.”
is,unfortunately,true.
This is what is wrong within our culture, the gang mentality, that seeks to destroy instead of build.
I’m not afraid of bullies or gangs. I’ve dealt with more of them than there are of these vicious adoption reform people that Joan hangs out with. I’m also sure that not every adoption reform group are as they are, but, I shall never be bullied by a gang of people that intimidate and threaten. I have more scalps on my belt than are in that little group of obnoxious loudmouths! My agenda is not the same as theirs. My is truth and honor. People in and with gang mentality are not interested in truth and they know not honor.
The gang is very worried, they see that we sisters are not being intimidated and are not going away.
That’s right, every page of that book of filth will be addressed on this blog. Stay tuned for more truth speaking.
Ruth – September 14, 2010 Gert,
I’m not so sure if the “adoption gang” is worried about us – but I do believe that some of them are concerned about Joan. Back in February, a certain adoptee couldn’t wait for Joan to join her gang, because she was so “awesome.” Joan had manipulated her into believing that the Three Sippel Sisters were a trio of bashers! O my goddess, what a day they had! Almost 200 hits here, and several nasty comments! Then, silence.
In May, Joan herself, starts her whining herself, urging them to shut down by blog by complaining about me. Which is EXACTLY one of the false accusations she had thrown at me – that I had managed to shut her previous 2 blogs down, which was a lie. Joan herself explained on the wordpress blog the reason SHE shut her blogspot blog down was because she had been censored. As to the wordpress blog – again, SHE shut it down. She moved it over to startlogic. When you went to the wordpress site, you got a message stating that the OWNER shut it down. I had nothing to do it, but she whined that I did. And bitched and moaned that when I did, I was interfering with her life. So what does she do – turn around and tries to do the same to me. Two wrongs don’t make a right my sweet sister. Because you showed everyone what a little pisspot you are right there and then.
And in her May 2010 whines, she passionately pleads to the adoptees “get them away from me, get them away from me.” ‘Scuse me, I’m not near her, nor is Gert or Kathy. Joan doesn’t like this blog for one simple reason – and that is: HER LIES ARE BEING STRAIGHTENED OUT! The whole world, and that includes her adoptee friends, are seeing for themselves, that their “awesome” friend is nothing but a liar, a manipulator and a fraud!
On August 25, 2010, she told another lie about me and my family, stating that we have been physically attacking her for the past 30 years. Which is a direct contradiction of things she has said in the book, and on the internet and, most importantly, on the adoptee forum. Joan has stated over and over that we are intefering with her life, despite that fact that she HAS HAD NO CONTACT WITH US FOR DECADES. So I put the question out there: HOW HAVE WE BEEN ATTACKING HER PHYSICALLY FOR 30 YEARS IF THERE HAS BEEN NO CONTACT?
It is JOAN herself who keeps putting her foot in her mouth, and I suspect that people are starting to see this. And we know for a FACT that not only the adoptee gang has realized this – we got an email from someone who stated that something Joan said about her 3 sisters was “patently false.” And with each whine, with each lie, with each contradiction that Joan has fed her “friends,” her support gets diminshed. The stats for this blog prove this. And the replys that she got on her posts on the forum also diminished in numbers.
ah, the forum – let us address this here and now and be done with it. Yes, I had 2 covert accounts. I have been accused of “spying” on Joan. Let me say this for the record – I DON’T CARE WHAT IS DISCUSSED ON THE FORUM – I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY ISSUES REVOLVING AROUND THE ADOPTEES – I ONLY WANT TO BE INFORMED OF WHAT JOAN SAYS ABOUT ME – BECAUSE AS YOU SEE, ON AUGUST 25, JOAN LIED ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY AGAIN! I have every right to want to know what is said about ME and MY FAMILY. Anything else – I AM NOT INTERESTED IN IT! And both Gert and Kathy have stated they also don’t care about the adoption issue.
THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ADOPTION REFORM, SHUTTING UP ADOPTEES, ANTI-ADOPTION, OR PRO-ADOPTION. THIS BLOG IS ABOUT THE SIPPEL FAMILY SETTING STRAIGHT THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR LIVES. TO UNDO THE DAMAGE THAT JOAN HAS DONE TO OUR REPUTATIONS. Someone (Joan) has gone in public and told stories about us. And they are LIES! We have the right to tell the truth about our own lives and straighten out those twisted up stories!
No one is intimidating anyone. The adoptees have their issues – fine. This blog is not about those issues. This blog is about the Sippel Family taking ownership of their lives. Taking it back from a lying, deceitful fraudulant, bitter bitch named Joan Wheeler.
