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Whining Teflon Dictator Joan at it again. December 28, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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So apparently Joan solicited free legal advice via the internet around December 19. She doesn’t like the fact that I, in this blog, am telling the darn truth of MY OWN LIFE! She reports that I am using her name in my blog. Yep, I am. But does she tell them that on December 7, 2009, she did the same to me and my sisters on HER blog. Of course she backtracked and took down her “cyber-bullying” page, but her post wherein she posts personal information about me and my sisters is still there, albeit “password protected.” So cronies of hers who deign to want a password can have access to some of our personal information. Only thing is: if you google my name, this is what comes up:

  1. Forbidden Family » defamtion of charcter

Ruth Sippel Pace (Buffalo, New York), G.S. M. (W.New York), and K. S. I. (L.) —
forbiddenfamily.com/tag/defamtion-of-charcter/ – Cached

Google results for Ruth Sippel Pace:

  1. Forbidden Family » personal attacks

Kaleidahealth.org and Buffalo General Hosptial employee Ruth Sippel Pace has Ruth Sippel Pace (Buffalo, New York), G.S.M. (W,
forbiddenfamily.com/tag/personal-attacks/ – Cached

Now I took out my sister’s names, and left only their initials and the initials of their cities. I left my info, because my name is right up on the top of my blog, and if you go to my page “my other websites” you can go to my facebook page where I already listed my employer. So she accomplished nothing because this info has been out awhile before she posted her stupid post. But what she did accomplish was show the world what a two-faced creep she is. She wants HER privacy protected, but violates MY privacy and MY SISTERS’ privacy. And if any lawyer from Justanswers.com comes over here to check out my blog (cos she gave out the url to my blog, directing them here), go back and look over her post to you guys. Yep, she did it again. Right there in her post at justanswers.com, she complains about her privacy being violating by me using her name. What is in this post? Yep! MY FULL NAME AND CITY, AND MY SISTERS’ FULL NAMES AND CITIES.

Weellll, you know the old saying, “you get what you pay for.” free legal advice. lol. mmmmph! Did the lawyer who answered her post get it? Did (s)he NOT get it? Joan is telling you in one sentance that I am violating her privacy by using her name over here. But in another sentance she is doing EXACTLY what she is complaining what I am doing! SHE PUT DOWN MY NAME AND CITY! THAT IS VIOLATING MY PRIVACY! AND MY SISTERS’.

The “lawyer” who gave Joan advice is not worth my time of day, since they missed that point.

By the way, for the record, I and my sisters had nothing to do with the shutting down of her two previous blogs. The one she had at blogspot, back in September 2008, well, she posted a “warning to her Three Sippel Sisters. (and is she not a Sippel as well, by birth?). She “warned” us to stop interfering with her. um, none of us had any contact with her since 2004, me, when I booted her off a  website I was building at the now defunct MSN Groups service. The website was for sharing family photos. And as usual, Joan couldn’t behave herself, so it was Sayonara Baby!

My other two sisters had NO contact with her at all, so why the “warning?” As I explained here in another post, I have been on the internet since the year 2000, I belong to and have visited many sites, forums, web-communities. In all that time, from 2000-2008, I have never posted anything about Joan Wheeler. Sure, my curiousity got to me, and I googled her. That’s how I got to that blogspot post. What did I do? I put out a simple post on my myspace blog, asking that when you put out your book on adoption, I ask only one thing: tell the truth. I mentioned no names. But I also did respond to her highly unethical bashing of my and my oldest sister’s Pagan religion. Joan said that we Pagans have no morals. And in the same post, she bashed the Catholic Church. Maybe her blogs got shut down because the management didn’t take too kindly to religious intolernce. I don’t know.

memo to Joan: why don’t you look to your OWN behavior once in a while. Instead of blaming ME for all your ills? OH, sorry to hear in your book that Uncle D. and Aunt H. died. I had no idea. Because the last time I saw them was waaaaayyyy back in 1978. And I hadn’t talked to them either since then. So if Aunt H. was mad at you: DON’T BLAME ME! What the heck did you do to upset her? DON’T PIN THIS ON ME JOAN! Like I said, I hadn’t talked to her since 1978. Maybe she was put off by YOUR arrogance and your disgusting RUMOR-MONGERING! What kind of badmouthing did you say to her about ME? If you badmouthed me to Francine’s brother the one time you bump into him and met him for the first time, and he was appalled at the way you spoke about me, I just have to wonder what you said to Aunt H., who knew me since I was 4 years old, that pi$$ed her off about you. Remember how you pi$$ed off my former foster mother? And YOU did that YOURSELF with no help from anyone.

Gettingn back to Joan’s current complaints about me and my sisters: For the record: my oldest sister has no computer: she got rid of hers years ago. She leads a simple life, a nature soul. My next sister got her first computer only recently. Way AFTER Joan’s “warning” to us. So I ask again, why the warning to The Three Sippel Sisters, when only one of us (me) had a computer? And I was doing nothing to her?

After I posted my “response” on my blog at myspace, I totally forgot about it. When K. got her first computer and started learning about the internet, and didn’t we ALL do this, the first time we got on the internet? Started googling all kinds of people and things? So K. came across Joan’s “warning,” and then Joan started building a new blog over here at wordpress. And she brought that “warning” post that contained religious bashing over to her new blog as an archive.

Then in October, she posted something about Yom Kippur, and K. nicely posted a comment. At first, Joan was fine with the post. Even left a kind comment in return. THEN she saw the email address left by the poster. K., because she had nothing to hide, had used her main email. As soon as Joan saw who the poster was, went ballistic and accused K. of bothering her. Well, when K.’s identity was not known, Joan didn’t think the post was a “bother” so why the change of heart? Because Joan hates her birth sisters. Simple as that. She is full of hate. So she blasted K. She then posted that her blog was STRICTLY for adoption and adoption reform, not a forum for religious debate or family bashing. I sent her a nicely worded email, asking that if this was true, why then did she herself start the family bashing (her warning to us) and the religous bashing and debate back in September 2008 and in her post about Yom Kippur. Her response? A nasty post accusing her sisters of harassing her again. (oh puh-leeze).

On November 3, 2009, I received an email from a relative telling me that my Aunt Doris had died. Joan was originally named for this woman. I thought Joan had the right to know of her passing. I did not have Joan’s phone number. I called my father. I asked if he had her current phone number. He gave it to me. He sounded very tired. I told him of Aunt Doris’ passing. He acknowledged it, but gave me no indication that he wanted to call Joan himself. (he had recently had an argument with Joan and had thrown her out of his house). So I took it upon myself to call Joan. What was her response? She subjected me to filthy language (yet in her book, she says that since I live in the inner city, I use foul language in my regular conversations). Her tirade on November 3, took me completely by surprise! I sat there staring at my computer screen reading  my uncle’s words “Doris died October 31.” I held the phone to my ear in shock. Joan was screaming so hard I couldn’t even understand half of what she said. She screamed something about being kicked out of the family.

Well, yeah, duh! Do you think we want to associate with someone who speaks to us like this? And this is what she does. If she doesn’t get her way, or somebody disagrees with her, she attacks us. Verbally and emotionally. What gives her the right to scream at me as tho I were a child. In fact, no child should be subjected to what she said to me on November 3. It was abuse, pure and simple. Verbal and emotional abuse. And I don’t stay in an abusive relationship. Joan has stolen from me. Money and goods. She stalked and harassed me in the past. She called my job repeatedly, trying to get me fired. She sent me  a letter telling me my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant ( a lie). Why would I want this person in my family? And she did a lot of stuff to other family members. So THAT’S why she got kicked out of the family. WE don’t have to take her abuse. It is OUR choice who we have in our lives. On page 530, Joan describes a letter that we Three Sippel Sisters wrote saying we do not want her in our family. This is completely false. There was never a letter that we three wrote together. Since we all live in different cities, this would be rather difficult. But for the record right now I state: THIS LETTER EXISTS ONLY IN JOAN’S MIND. Set up a lie detector, Joan, I will take and pass the test.

I was the one who encouraged her to write her book many years ago. I was the one who encouraged her with adoption research. I was the one who accompanyed her to WGRZ Channel 2 Studios, Buffalo, New York to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman on adoption reunion in 1980.  I did not think her book would turn out to be a book of trash about me and my family.

On page 542, Joan very disgustingly reports a rumor, that supposedly because my father was too poor to get a dress for my mother, he was going to have her buried in the nude, and one of my mother’s nephews threw a punch at my father.

Now, let me say something. I GREW UP IN THIS FAMILY, JOAN DID NOT! My one uncle, husband of my mother’s sister, never liked my father. In fact, while I was a teenager, he told me some stories of my father, and cussed my father out! My uncle loved my mother. His favorite story was one where they were partying, and she wanted to go home. My uncle didn’t want to drive her. So she got in his truck and tried backing it out the driveway to take herself home. Then he came out and drove her home.  If this uncle, who loved my mom, and hated my dad, (he would use obscenties when he talked about me dad), would not hesitate to tell me of his hate for my dad, don’t you think this story of my mom almost getting buried in the nude would have reached my ears long before December 2009, when I read this digusting book?

Joan says that this is a rumor. Why then is she writing such garbage? If it’s a rumor, why is she repeating it? HOWEVER, on page 532, she is whining that HER reputation was shot with various relatives because of people SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT HER!!!

How dare you Joan? How dare you? My maternal grandfather was alive in 1956. So were Mom’s siblings. My paternal grandparents were alive. IF my father couldn’t afford a dress, surely he would have asked somebody for one? MY FATHER LOVED MY MOTHER! HE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING.

We were not a rich family. But we were not dirt poor. We were, as I am today, THE WORKING POOR! Living paycheck to paycheck. Joan throws out a dig at me that I whined that I had to use computers at work because I could not afford one for home. That is absolutely true. I was paying a mortgage, Joan, a mortgage. And putting in new electrical wiring, plumbing, a new roof, new porch. No, Joan, I did not WHINE, I had priorities. A computer was down on my list of priorities. When your roof is leaking, and it’s raining in your living room, spending money on a computer should be the last thing on your mind.

And so my father, back in the 50’s worked for a living. We had food to eat, clothes to wear. AND SO DID MY MOTHER WHEN SHE DIED. You are a disgusting piece of you-know-what Joan.

For the honor of my family, I write this blog.


Saied December 28, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
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 I never knew you. You were too tiny. You were with me only 6 weeks. You never saw a leaf or snow. You never saw a buttercup or a butterfly. You never heard a kitty purr, or Beethoven’s Fifth. You never took an airplane ride or went fishing. You never saw a full moon or the stars. You never smelled a Christmas tree or tasted gingerbread. You never rode your bike down the street or went to your high school prom.

But in my heart, you did all these things…and more.

— Mommy 

Ruth Sippel — November 21, 1985

A most vile and hateful lie in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family December 25, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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 On page 302 in her book, Joan Wheeler says the following about me, “At one point in her life, she claimed to want children and even went through infertility tests with her previous boyfriend. Just as well she didn’t get pregnant because she said she didn’t know how anyone could do it.”

 First of all, this statement is another one of Joan’s contradictions. She says I “claimed” I wanted to get pregnant. This statement suggests that I had lied and that I did NOT want to have children. Joan continues, “..even went through infertility tests with her previous boyfriend.” Well, which is it Joan? Did I want kids or NOT? If I did, then of course, I would go through tests, as you admit in your book. Then why the phrase ” she ‘claimed'”? Then she says, in a very disgusting, not very professional way, “Just as well she didn’t get pregnant because she said she didn’t know how anyone could do it.” How could any one say this about ANYONE, let alone her birth sister, who she claims over and over in her book that she never did anything to do? How inhuman and what a filthy thing to say.

Second part of the phrase, I said I didn’t know how anyone could do it, referes to a conversational thing. For example, my one girlfriend has said to me many times, “I don’t know how you do your job (empty bedpans of sick people in the hospital).” Well, you just do. Same thing when I said that statement. And by the way, I would know how to do it. I’m not stupid. I took care of my oldest sister’s kids when she worked a job and went thru night school. In 1973, I moved back to my dad’s house to help out with the kids. In early 1974 when my stepmother was in the hospital for over a month, I was the adult woman in the house (and working full time night shift). I took care of my 2 and a half year brother, and my two stepsisters, ages 14 and 7. I made them breakfast and sent them off to school. Made lunch for them when they came for lunch. Got them started with their homework and when my dad came home from work, I went to sleep for a few hours then went to my job. And took care of a two year old all day long. And had another 2 year old, son of a nurse, who worked the 3pm – 11pm shift, from about 1 in the afternoon to about 4, when her other babysitter got out of school and could come and get him. And this nurse, to this day, is still one of my friends as well as her son.

But to get back to Joan’s hateful remarks about me and my wanting children. On page 260, she is relating events in the year 1986. She says that I was having problems because my Arab boyfriend broke up with me, and now I was dating a black man. First, she never got my permission to write about my personal information. But since she has been publicizing my information, Joan completely “forgets” to tell you about my miscarriage on June 5, 1985. My Arab “boyfriend” and I had lived together for 10 years. He was NOT my boyfriend, he was my husband. We were not legally married, but we were married in our hearts and in everything we did. When we met people, I did not introduce him as my “boyfriend”, but as my husband, and he referred to me as his wife.

In the Arab culture, he had an arranged marriage when he was still a teenager. They married in 1971. In 1973, he came to America for a better job. He had always planned to bring his wife and his baby son and toddler daughter over here. In 1975, he met me. And fell in love. He never loved his wife. He hardly knew her. But he respected her. While we were together, he sent money for their support. And in 1979, went back to Yemen to divorce her so he could legally marry me. He stayed in Yemen for a year.

In 1980, he came back to me, with his divorce papers. We did not get married, because at this time, he began to have a drinking problem. This was due to the fact that his baby son had died while he was in Yemen. We discussed this (Joan, were you there during our private conversations? No? Then how do you know I merely claimed to want children?) We decided that we wanted children of our own and we did want to get married. He got a job at Worthington Compresser, and we moved to an apartment that was closer to his new job. We began saving our money to pay for our wedding. But I was having doubts because of his drinking. Then he got laid off and took a job in an Arab grocery store, working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.

We were working on our problems, and we were trying to have a baby. I was tired of my job, emptying bedpans and wanted something better. I had no money for school tuition or time. I wanted to go to Cosmetology school. And we wanted a child. ABDO changed his address to a friend’s house a few blocks away from us. If I were to get pregnant, I could then go on welfare, get help for living expenses, go to cosmetologly school, and then get a job as a beautician. This is what the welfare program is designed for, to help people get out of poverty, and get a good job. (by the way, I’m still emptying bedpans, and the pay is much, much better than it used to be. Due to union reforms, etc. I am happy where I am).

Well, we tried to get pregnant, it wasn’t happening. My cousin was also having problems getting pregnant. She and I both had a hysterosalpingogram, and both our HUSBANDS (hers legally and by love, mine, by love),  had sperm count and motility tests. We did not go to any fertility clinic, as Joan claims that I did in her book. We were working with our gynacologists. My cousin told me of her doctor, and recommended I go to her. I had nothing against the doctor I was seeing, in fact, he was a gem. Held me when I cried, when another month went by and I wasn’t pregnant. But for some reason, all my life, I am more comfortable with a woman doctor. In fact, today, ALL my doctors are women.

By 1985, Abdo’s drinking was getting worse. He felt useless. He hated his job. He tried to go to school, but although he could speak English fluently, he couldn’t read it. He couldn’t understand the textbooks. And in March of 1985, his mother in Yemen died. He made plans to go back to Yemen. He told me he wasn’t sure if he would come back to Buffalo. His family needed him. His parents were both dead, he was the oldest son. Who would take care of his younger brothers and sisters? In May of 1985, he left me to take care of his family.

All through the month of May, after he left, I had some vaginal spotting. I was in middle of changing doctors. My previous doctor was on vacation, and my appointment with my new doctor was not until the second week of June. I wasn’t having any pain, so I wasn’t worried. I had some spotting before. By the begininng of June, I noticed a lump in the middle of the right side of my abdomen, and I started bleeding heavy. I called my girlfreind, she came over and told me I looked pale and took me into the hospital. I almost passed out in the emergency room. They admitted me under the care of my new doctor, who was informed by telephone who I was and what happened.

The following morning, (a Sunday) I had emergency surgery. Joan was in the waiting room with my friend, who had called her to tell her what happened. While I was in the recovery room, Dr. Trini B. told Francine and Joan that I had just had a miscarriage. She told them not to tell me, she wanted to tell me herself. Francine told me that while I was being put into my room, and she and Joan waited outside in the hallway, Joan asked her, “should we tell her she lost a baby?” Francine said, “Joan, the doctor said NOT to tell her.”

I was about 6 weeks pregnant, it was an ectopic pregancy and I was brought to the hospital just in time. An ectopic pregancy is one where the fertilized egg gets stuck in the falopian tube. The baby grows and when it gets to the point where the tube cannot accomodate the fetus, the tube explodes and there is internal bleeding. Many women DIE from this. I was one of the lucky ones. But my son was not lucky. He DIED. (I know in my heart it was a boy). Does Joan care that my son DIED and I almost DIED? Apparently not from the statement she makes that I “claimed” to want children. And she was there!!!! SHE was the one who drove me home from the hospital a few days later!!!! And again, she doesn’t want to tell her book readers how in the early 80’s when I was trying to get pregnant, I had several books on pregancy, breastfeeding, childrearing. I loaned her those books when she got pregnant in 1983. And had a hell of a time getting them back!

She says several other times in the book that I am jealous of her because she had children. Why would I be jealous if I had only “claimed” to want children and I wouldn’t know how anyone could do it? But this is another contradiction on Joan’s part. She can’t seem to make up her mind what she wants to write about me and the issue of me getting pregnant and wanting children. She correctly relates that in the summer of 1985, she and I took her 18 month old son to outings to the beach. (page 253).  But does she say in her book who drove her and her new born daughter home from the hospital in October 1986? It was me! Why would I consent to this if I was jealous of her? I was suffering from depression from losing my son, but loved Joan enough and loved her children enough to drive the new baby girl home, and still go on outings to the beach.

I was able to this, because I had the whole summer of off work due to my recovery of surgery and miscarriage. I had just lost my son, but still loved her son. How was I jealous then? BUT, I WAS having problems. I was now single, I lost the child I was trying for 4 years to have. I did not have the emotional support of my son’s father. I told him over the phone, and he broke down crying. He had lost another son. But does Joan care ANYTHING about the pain that Abdo and I went through? NO!

Abdo ended up staying in Yemen for 9 years. During that time, his drinking problems increased. His cousin Mohamed, went to Yemen for a visit in 1986 and told me that Abdo was now drinking whiskey straight from the bottle, not even cutting it with soda or ice. By the time Abdo came to Buffalo in 1994, he had developed diabetes, had lost all his teeth. In 1999, he had a small stroke, and was in the hospital (where I worked) for over a month. He did not learn a very valuable lesson. He continued drinking and smoking. He went back to Yemen on July 4 2003, for his daughter’s (from his first wife) wedding. On August 19, he had another stroke and died at the age of 49.

Now first you must understand. Back in the 1970’s when Abdo and I were together, we met a wonderful young lady. Francine. She was dating Abdo’s younger stepbrother. But then she met an older man, John. They moved in together and lived together for 6 years. The four of us, Abdo and me, Fran and John were inseparable. There was never any kind of “wife swapping,” but we were all very close. From 1978, John and Fran were my best friends. In 1983, Fran and John broke up. On July 1, 1985, I had already made plans to move into a new apartment, but couldn’t do any lifting because of my miscarriage and surgery. John and Francine came to my aid. As well as the sons of one of my cousins. They all helped me move. John helped me that first summer of 1985, where I didn’t have the emotional support of my son’s father. By 1986, our friendship developed into romantic love. In May of 1987, we moved in together. In 1996, we bought the house we were living in off our landlord. In 2002, we got married. We had some rocky moments, but we are still together, 22 years strong. If anyone is jealous of anybody, it is Joan, who is jealous of me, because of my strong relationships with both my husbands.

When Abdo came back to Buffalo in 1994, we did not get back together, because I was now with John. I love John. But there will ALWAYS be a part in my heart that belongs to Abdo, and John knows this. John also loved Abdo, as a brother,  and broke down and cried when I told him Abdo died. (Abdo’s cousin Shawqi had come to our house to tell me). The years that John and I didn’t have a car, Abdo would loan us his. A couple of times he would come by with a couple of six-packs of beer, and watch the Buffalo Sabres hockey games with John, while I went grocery shopping.

By the way, when Abdo came back to Buffalo in 1994 and learned about Joan’s antics, he also wanted to punch her in the mouth. Joan certainly has a way with people. She somehow always manages to turn them against her. But she won’t take responsibility for her actions. It’s always SOMEBODY ELSE’S FAULT! or it’s MY fault. All thru her book whenever something goes wrong in her life, or somebody writes her a nasty letter, or calls her on the phone, IT IS MY FAULT! Every other page, it’s Brenda badmouthed me. Brenda did  it. Brenda Brenda Brenda. Is this a book about her adoption or her hate for me?

Joan says on page 379 when she tells about Abdo’s death, “I was sad for Brenda, but she had Larry for almost 20 years.” I don’t understand this sentance. What does one have to do with the other? The father of my son was dead. He was my first love. Yes, I love my husband John, (Larry in her book), but this has nothing to do with it. And I will tell you now, as I told Joan then, 2003 was a horrible year. On July 21, John’s grandfather died. July 28, his mother died. On August 4, my cousin died. On August 19, my ex-husband and still good friend died. On September 1, my brother died. Does Joan feel anything about the losses I was going thru? NO. All she cares about is whining in her book how I cut her pictures out of my photo albums.

And now I will you WHY I cut them out and wanted her OUT of my life for all time! By early 1987, it was clear that I was not coping with the loss of my son. I would break down in tears if John and I were shopping and I we walked thru the baby department. A mother with her baby would walk past me, and I would start to cry. I started drinking. But I saw what was happening to me. I quit drinking, and arranged to see a counselor.

In the summer of 1985, Joan had written an editorial to the newspaper about surrogate mothers. She ended that editorial with the following sentance: “Infertile couples should look to their selfish reasons as to why they want a child.” I was so hurt. I didn’t realize that I was being “selfish,” when all I wanted to do was what Mother Nature gives to the animal and plant kingdoms: THE ABILITY TO REPRODUCE! I felt betrayed. On the surface, Joan was all nice to me. We were still going to the beach together with her toddler son, just weeks after I lost my son, and here behind my back, she was writing editorials and saying infertile women were selfish!

In early 1987, Joan went to an adoption conference in Philadelphia. John and I found the house we were moving to. I was in the middle of packing. After her editorial, I didn’t trust her anymore. I hadn’t even told her that John and I were moving in together. But the day she got back from Philadelphia, she called me on the phone. All full of talk of her conference. She even threw in the comment that there were representatives of infertile couples there. I told her. “Joan, I don’t want to talk about this.” “oh, but Ruth, it was such an enlightening conference. I learned so much about the psychology of adopted people.” “Joan, I don’t want to talk about this. I have an appointment in 3 weeks to see a counselor because of my depression of losing my son.” “Oh, but Ruth, I learned so much about inferility. The people at the conference….” “JOAN, I SAID I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, IT’S TOO PAINFUL! After I go for counseling about my depression, perhaps I will feel like talking, but I don’t want to right now.” Did she LISTEN TO ME? NO!! She then said “Oh, but Ruth, I know much more about infertility than you think I do.” Oh really? NOBODY WHO HAS NOT LOST A CHILD COULD EVER KNOW HOW ABOUT INFERTILITY. AND ANY CHILD’S LOSE AT ANY AGE, IS WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. TO THIS DAY I MOURN MY SON. DOES JOAN CARE ABOUT THAT? HELL NO!!

I didn’t say another word to her on the phone. I slammed down the phone and unplugged it. Crying hysterically, I drove over to John’s house. “That bitch. I oughta to punch her lights out,” was John’s reaction. When I moved, I had my mail forwarded to a friend’s house in Lackawanna, so Joan couldn’t find me.

next part: Joan stalks me, trying to find me, and calls repeatedly to my work leaving messages. talks to a supervisor at my job and tells her my personal information, steals money from me, and tries to break me and John up.

A Contradiction by Joan Wheeler, which one is the lie? December 25, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
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One of the most telling characteristic of a person with Narcissitic Personality Disorder, is that they frequently contradict themselves. Here’s a good example of one that Joan Wheeler makes:

Yesterday, on December 24, on her blog, she says the following: “My natural mother was very pregnant with me at Christmas 1955. She went into the hospital two days after Christmas and never came home. Neither did I.”

On page 288 of her book Forbidden Family she claims that my father told her that she DID come home. She says that he told her “I brought you home for 24 hours.”

So, which is it Joan? You never came home, or you came home for 24 hours? Which is the factual account of your life? Your blog or your book?

See, Joan, you need to learn to TELL THE TRUTH IN EVERYTHING! Then you wouldn’t get caught up in all your LIES!

A Listing of Lies told by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family and elsewhere December 23, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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Question to Joan Wheeler, the author of Forbidden Family — whose permission did you get to use MY photo on the back of your book? You did NOT ask me to put out my picture in public on the back of YOUR book. As my likeness is portrayed on YOUR BOOK, I demand compensation from all sales. And I suspect my sisters will want compensation as well.  Now I can’t speak for them, but I do know you didn’t get their permission to use their likeness either. I talked to them this weekend.

And if you want to solicit free legal advice on the internet, again, TELL THE TRUTH. Jeez louise! Now the fictitous three month court battle took place in 1997!  Did you not say in your book that this fictitous three month court battle took place in 1994? Yes you did, on pages 329-330. And you lie in your book when you say you got a one year order of protection against me. Any lawyer you get will have to research your claims and any court records WILL be pulled up by the courts. The dockets numbers and the records are there for all time. And it will show that you obtained only ONE restraining order against me, in 1993, for the length of 6 months. And I was NOT sentanced to probation, like you keep telling all and sundry that I was. The courts themselves will back me up. Why are telling people on the internet (just answer.com) that you have multiple orders of protection against your sisters? mmmm? You NEVER got one against your oldest sister. You NEVER got one against the next one. And you only got ONE against me, in 1993.

Please, Joan, please, stop lying. You’re getting yourself all mixed up. Was the 3 month court battle in the summer of 1994 or 1997? How was it in the summer of 1994, over a child abuse call that didn’t occur until December 1994? Anyway, the 3 month court battle NEVER took place, in ANY year. Cut it out Joan. And you failed to mention why I called you on November 3, 2009. It was to inform you of a family member’s death. Geez, you whine in your book nobody bothered to call you about your godmother’s death, but when somebody DOES call you to tell you the woman you were named for died, you subject them to a bout of disgusting filthy verbal and emotional abuse. That’s why you’re all alone. And tell the lawyers how it was only ME who called, but you sit and blame my two sisters. The oldest one doesn’t even have a computer, so how is she doing anything to you? As for internet personal attacks, was it not YOU on December 7, 2009, who posted my name Ruth Sippel Pace on your website and named MY EMPLOYER? Just ‘cos you took it down, doesn’t mean it’s not hanging around in cyberspace. Just google Ruth Sippel Pace and there it is, third entry down. cached. (and I took screenshots of it anyway as proof of YOUR invasion of MY privacy and my sisters’). You will look veerrrry credible in court. Yeah, right! Joan, quit complaining about people doing exactly what YOU are doing! oh, darnit, that’s right. ONLY JOAN WHEELER CAN MAKE POSTS ON THE INTERNET AND NAME PEOPLE. NOBODY ELSE CAN DO IT. BECAUSE THE TEFLON DICTATOR TYRANT JOAN HAS DECREED IT.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You complain to just answer.com that I am using your name? Well, you used mine on YOUR website. I have not given out any personal information about you. You did it yourself. You decided to put pen to paper and tell the world all about yourself. I am only correcting the mistakes (lies) you wrote, when you started to telling lies about ME, MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY.  Since you have the freedom of speech to write about YOUR life, surely I have the same freedom of speech to write about MY life? You chose not to change all the names in your book. You used my cousin Gail’s real name. And you abused her memory. I have the right to defend her honor. You used the real name of MY godmother too. You tell hideous lies about your mentor Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. You claim he came to my house, and he never did and on page 276 and 277 give a fictitous account of me snarling in rage at you and him. Joan, where is this garbage coming from? As for your name being in the public eye, again, YOU did that yourself.  Since you drag me thru the mud in your book, make a mockery of my wanting to have a child and my miscarriage, by telling disgusting lies about me, I claim the right to defend myself and my dead son. As for any lawyer or judge they will see the emotional abuse I have suffered from you since 1985. Nay, from 1983, when you stole the beads off my mother’s wedding gown to put on yours. And then you called me on the phone and told me you were keeping them. Thank you kind sister. Let’s see about the emotional abuse you tried to cause when you sent me a letter in 1999 telling my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant in 1994. 1994 seems to be THE year for you. Like when you called my job repeatedly trying to get me fired? Won’t any lawyer like to hear that? and by the way, yeah, I DO live in the inner city, so do a lot of people. How dare you accuse me of  writing that disgusting fish mr. Clean note? It is not my handwriting. It looks like YOURS, the t’s, the a’s and the e’s are the same as yours. And yeah, I know a lot of cuss words, but so do a lot of people. And by the way, not everyone in the inner city swears. But then again, you come from a lily-white suburb. And I’ve heard you swear pretty raw yourself. oh, yes, didn’t you say in your book, you lived in the Broadway/Bailey section of Buffalo’s east side? on page 283 you say this. ummm, this is the inner city too. So what’s your point? Bah, you have none. And by the way, how did my now husband accompany you and your kids to Dufferin Islands and Beaver Island State Park 1984 – 1991? as you say on page 269. Nice stunt, considering in 1984, I was still with my first husband. HUSBAND, JOAN, HUSBAND.  Both Abdo and John were my husbands, not live-in boyfriend, because I was married to them by love. And by the way, Miss Political Correctness, the term is SIGNIFICANT OTHER, not live-in anything. For a “factual” book, it’s not very factual. You get dates wrong, terms wrong, events wrong, conversations wrong. And you have the nerve to use my picture on the back of this totally lying book!

Joan, you  had the opportunity to write a good book. You chose to use your book as an avenue to trash all the people in your life you have a beef against.

Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. — Dorothy Parker

God don’t like ugly, and Jesus don’t like liars. — unknown

Joan tells some horrible lies about court proceedings, a fictitious three month court battle with me and accuses me of calling child abuse on her. See the post:   Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler pages 316, 324, and 330 Clear evidence of lies

On my page a book of lies, (at top of page),  I briefly detail the following lies: Dr. Rene Hoksbergen visit to my home and I verbally abuse Joan in front of him. – this never happened. — She got a one year restraining order on my effective August 1, 1993 — no it was for six months, from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. It was for “annoyance calls.”  Joan, posing as her 10 year old son, sent a letter “written” by herself in an envelope addressed to me, knowing I’d call. When I did, she said “wait” and hung up, did this a few more times, then turned around and filed a false police report on me. — In 1993, she refused to ship over belongings of my sister in England, K. had to call my father for help in this matter. My stepsister, “Claire” in the book, took it upon herself to call Joan. According to Joan in one version (a letter to me in February 1995, she blames me for Claire’s call 18 months prior (August 93) , yet I had nothing to do with it.) In the book, the phone call takes place in February 93.

more lies to come

Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler pages 316, 324, and 330 Clear evidence of lies December 23, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents.
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UPDATE NOV 18, 2015 before we continue with this post…be it known that Joan Wheeler has revised her lying book. Gert has a new blog and a Facebook page in which we exam the new pack of lies. Please check them out…



Now to continue with this post…

On page328, in her book of lies, Forbidden Family, Joan Wheeler  states that in December 1993,  somebody called child abuse on her. She blamed me for it. This is a lie. The call was made in December 1994. And the caller identified themself as Ruth Sippel and said that “my fiance John Pace sexually molests my sister’s daughter and my sister lets him.” Riiiight. I’m gonna call child abuse, give them my name, AND name my own fiance! Sure!

In a letter Joan wrote to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register, dated December 31, 1994, she writes asking for a copy of the report of  December 22, 1994.  If the book Forbidden Family is supposed to be a factual book, and she says the call was made in 1993, and in reality it was 1994, well, the book is not very factual, now is it?

It was NOT in 1993, but in 1994, the same time she was accusing me of tampering with her hospital bill AND the time she was spending everyday on the phone, for MONTHS, calling my job, trying to get me fired. She was calling hospital adminstration, the nursing office, the various nursing floors! (but she leaves this part out of the book).  I TOOK HER TO COURT FOR HARASSMENT IN APRIL 1995, (I signed the complaint on March 19, 1995). AND WE APPEARED IN FRONT OF JUDGE MARGARET R. ANDERSON ON APRIL 19, 1995. But in her book, Joan states that SHE took me to court in the summer of 1994 for the child abuse call that wasn’t made until December 1994, and obtained a one year order of protection against me. THIS IS A LIE! WE WERE NEVER IN COURT IN THE SUMMER OF 1994.  How could she take me to court over a false child abuse call months before the call was made?

When we appeared in court on April 19, 1995, (for a court case that I started, not Joan), Judge Anderson instructed the court that children were NOT to be brought to court. We came back on May 2, 1995, and Joan had her two children with her.  (after the judge said no children were to be in court).  I said nothing to the children, but on page 330, she says that when the court broke for lunch I approached her children and said “You see what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you into court to see your poor Aunt go through this.” THIS IS A DAM LIE, AND A MOST VILE ONE. THIS WOMAN, WHO POSED AS HER OWN 10 YEAR OLD SON, CALLED CHILD ABUSE ON HERSELF, POSING AS ME, LIES ABOUT STUFF THAT HAPPENED TO HER OWN CHILDREN! By the way, Judge Anderson threw the case out saying “sisters should be able to get along.” Yeah, I agree, but with all due respect Judge Anderson, you don’t know what happens when you’re stuck with a sister like Joan Wheeler. So there was NO one year restraining order placed against Joan or me in either the years 1994 or 1995.

Oh, by the way, Joan says “when the court broke for lunch” is when I approached her children: this is a good trick, considering the session was in the afternoon, AFTER lunch! see the graphic at the top of this post. It is the summons I recieved to appear at Joan’s trial at 2:00 pm, way after lunch! I also have the documents I received from Family Court (since the regular courts were reluctant to handle “sister” cases, I went to Family Court).   On page one of the documents item 5, is indications of previous applications made to any court or judge for the relief requested herein and if so, the relief, if granted: it states: Buffalo City Court, 5/95, Harrassment of Petitioner (me): action: dismissed. Buffalo City Court, 1993, Harassment of respondent (Joan): action: ACD. I’m not sure what ACD means, but this refers to the Order of Protection that Joan was granted against me for six months, beginning on August 9, 1993.  (addendum January 28, 2010: I just googled and found out what ACD in legal terminology means: Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal (ACD) means that the court has adjourned from hearing the case in consideration of a dismissal of charges. This typically indicates that the charges pressed against the defendant are soon to be dismissed as a motion for dismissal is being granted.  But Joan says in her book that I was sentanced to probation!!! THIS IS NOT WHAT THE COURT SAYS.  Buffalo City Court granted Joan a six-month restraining order against me, in CONSIDERATION OF DISMISSAL. I was told that if I stayed away from Joan for six months, the charges would be DISMISSED against me. So here is proof of another LIE made by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family. Do you want to spend $35.00 or more for a book that is touted as being the truth? Joan says on her blog that every word is the truth, yet I have cited lie after lie. Do you adoption reform people want a liar like this representing you or your cause?

The court document I posted above, from 1999, show the ONLY two other times Joan and I were in court against each other: 1993 and 1995. And it shows only one action against me: in 1993. But in her book of lies, she says it was 1994 and she got a one year restraining order against me: THIS IS A LIE, AND I HAVE POSTED THE COURT DOCUMENT TO PROVE IT! In other places, she says I was placed on probation in 1993. Again, THIS IS A LIE, AND I  HAVE POSTED THE COURT DOCUMENT TO PROVE IT!

Getting back to my so-called harassment of her children in the court building,  if her story is true, that I spoke such nonsense to her children, does she say in her book what measures she took to protect her children? NO. Did she tell me to shut up? NO. Did she get a sherrif’s deputy or a security guard? NO.  Did she tell an officer of the court that I was now harassing her children? NO.  Does she say in her book that she did anything a reasonable person would have done if this story had actually happened? NO.  Same thing as when she relates the fictitous visit by Dr. Rene Hoksbergen to my house, and I verbally abused her in front of him. Does she say in her book that she defended herself? NO.  WHY NOT? BECAUSE THESE TWO EVENTS ONLY HAPPENED IN JOAN WHEELER’S DEMENTED MIND!!!!

Also, the children were in the care of Joan’s friend, B.W. Judge Anderson had instructed no children were to be brought to the court. So B. stayed outside in the hallway for a few hours. I went once to the bathroom and my neice had fallen asleep, my nephew looked bored. Why were they there? It was a school day. I CHECKED! And if they were with another adult, ( B.W.), again, why were they there? Why weren’t they in school, at the park, having ice cream in the mall, anywhere?  instead of sitting out in the hallway in the court building bored out of their minds?????

Above are the scanned court documents of 1995 and 1999. On page 325, Joan Wheeler says that in 1994, there were 3 months of court dates. Oh really? NO THIS WAS A LIE! On page 330, she relates the “story” of me verbally abusing her children at the water fountain during a lunch break in one of these fictitious 3 months of court dates. LIE! This is supposedly because of a child abuse call placed against her in December 1993. The call was placed in December 1994, therefore, she did not take me to court in 1994. I took her to court in April 1995. Read the summons for the court date April 19, 1995.  It says 2:00pm, AFTER lunch. We were in court for only two days. April 19, and May 2. BOTH TIMES WERE FOR 2:00pm, AFTER LUNCH. There was NEVER three months of court dates. Joan’s first court date was for April 3, 1995 at 9:30am, to answer the summons. I was not required to be there. We both appeared on April 19, at 2:00pm, and it was adjourned to May 2, at 2:00pm. Three months of court dates my ass, and around lunch time? NO WAY!  Again, we see Joan Wheeler for the LIAR that she is! She says in her book, she brought the children to court because the case involved them. LIAR! This case was MY suit against HER for HER harrassment of ME by writing stupid letters with my personal and medical information to various elected officials in the city of Buffalo. It had nothing to do with her children. Joan is either delusional, or just out and out LYING  in her book. Take your pick, I don’t care, I’m just relating the dam truth, WITH OFFICIAL COURT DOCUMENTS TO BACK ME UP. Joan can’t do that, can she, because even tho she “conveniently” burned all her papers in a hissy fit, she knows dam well  who is telling the truth: ME!

When I petitioned her again in 1999 for harassment in Family Court, THEY researched any court proceedings in regards to the ongoing harrassment of Joan Wheeler and Ruth Sippel. The only proceedings that are on record are the 1993 case, where she got a six month restraining order agains for annoyance phone calls. And the 1995 case, that I instituted, and was DISMISSED. If there was 3 months of court dates in Buffalo City Court in 1994, it would have been listed here in this official COURT DOCUMENT. So here you go folks, clear evidence that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family.

Also, on page 316, Joan states that a warrant was issued for my arrest in 1993, in regards to the annoyance phone call harassment complaint she made against me. THIS IS A LIE! When you take a person to court, that person is issued a SUMMONS TO APPEAR IN COURT. If you do not appear, THEN an arrest warrant is issued. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. In 1998, I applied for and was accepted into a volunteer civilian position with the Buffalo Police in conjunction with my work in my block club and the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs. In order to be considered for this, a thorough background check is conducted. NO POLICE RECORD OF ANY KIND WAS FOUND WITH MY NAME ON IT IN 1998, BECAUSE THERE NEVER WAS ONE!

Below is a copy of a letter she sent to my husband via his mother’s house, yes, involving my mother in law. Notice the date, December 31, 1994, not 1993.  This was a clear engineering on Joan’s part to break me and John up. Her marriage was going down the tubes, late 1994 – early 1995. An innocent typing mistake occured on her hospital bill at this same time. She made a complaint to my employer, fair enough. They investigated, tracked it down to a billing clerk’s error one afternoon and IT WAS NOT MY DOING. They told her this. But she wouldn’t have it. She insisted I did it, called my job for months trying to get me fired. She says in her book that I work as a billing clerk. NO. I do not. She says this to lend credence to her insistance that I tampered with her bill. I work the night shift as a nurse’s aide. Therefore, I was NOT IN THE BUILDING AT 4PM WHEN THE MISTAKE IN HER BILL OCCURED. She was told this repeatedly! But in her sick mind, she insists that I did it.

And to get back at me for this “offense” (that I didn’t do), and because her marriage was going down the tubes, and she was jealous that my fiance had a solid relationship, she accuse me over and over in the book that I keep saying that she and my fiance had an affair. In fact, it seems that every other page is Brenda this, Brenda that, Brenda hates me. Brenda hates my mother. Brenda hates my children. Brenda is me in the book. Isn’t this book supposed to be about her adoption? Why is it a manifesto on her hate against Brenda/me? I am blamed for just about everything that goes wrong in her life!

Anyway, to get back at me in 1994 for supposedly tampering with her hospital bill, she posed as me, called child abuse on herself, dragged my then-fiance, now husband, AND my mother-in-law into this mess. A mess that Joan was making. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER HOSPITAL BILLS GETTING MESSED UP, I DID NOT MAKE A CHILD ABUSE CALL ON HER, WE DID NOT HAVE 3 MONTHS OF COURT DATES, I DID NOT SPEAK TO HER CHILDREN IN COURT. THE CHILD ABUSE CALL WAS MADE DECEMBER 1994, SO HOW DID WE GET TO BE IN COURT FOR 3 MONTHS IN 1994? AFTER THE CHILD ABUSE CALL WAS MADE, JOAN WROTE LIBELOUS LETTERS ABOUT ME TO THE MAYOR OF BUFFALO AND OTHERS, AND I TOOK HER TO COURT IN THE SPRING OF 1995, THREE MONTHS AFTER THE CHILD ABUSE CALL. SO WE SEE HOW JOAN TWISTS EVERYTHING AND OUTRIGHT LIES IN HER BOOK. Also see below her letter dated December 31, 1994 that she wrote to Albany asking for a copy of the child abuse call of December 22, 1994. How do I have these things? The idiot sent me them. I recieved them on February 25, 1995, along with the letters she wrote to the Financial Director of the hospital where I worked, telling him I am a computer hacker and giving this stranger to me, personal and medical details of me, letters that she wrote to the Mayor of Buffalo, a state senator, the commissioner of Social Services of Erie County, all with personal and medical information about me. This was the basis of my harassment suit against her, my complaiint signed on March 19, 1995. In response, she sent another letter to my fiance via his mother. And in it, she is clearly trying to break us up. And speaking of annoyance phone calls, Joan Wheeler was calling my mother in law left and right, trying to get her to appear in court against me. Finally my brother in law got Joan on the phone and cussed her out and threatened to call the police on her if she called his mother again. My mother in law never met Joan, why would she go to court for her, when even she saw that this was nothing but an attempt by Joan to break us up. She told her son, as I did, to stay away from Joan, not because I, or my mother in law hated Joan’s children, as she says in her book, but because Joan is nothing but a liar and a troublemaker. My mother in law gave the letters to John and he brought them home and gave them to me. He said, “what am I going to do?” I told him, “I know you love those kids, but you got to stay away from that family. The kids are good, but Joan and her mother are bad news.”  John finally stopped going over there, ON HIS OWN DECISION, AFTER HE SAW WHAT JOAN DID TO HIS OWN MOTHER. But of course, in her book, Joan doesn’t say how she tried to drag John’s mother into this mess. The mess made only by: JOAN WHEELER in her demented attempt to discredit me in the eyesof my fiance, who incidentally IS NOW MY HUSBAND!


documents proving Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family, to Albany New York, and evidence of her trying to break me and my fiance up.

Lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 18, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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Restraining order effective August 9 1993 to February 9, 1994 of Joan Wheeler had against Ruth Sippel for a six month period.  But Joan Wheeler, in her book Forbidden Family lies and says it was for one year.

On page 314 of her lie-filled book, Joan Wheeler says that in February 1993, she got a phone call from my youngest stepsister and she got reamed out. Joan blames me for that. In the following pages she relates how she was getting annoyance phone calls, which she blamed me for. She arranged a very neat stunt. In June 1993, I received an envelope addressed to me, in Joan’s handwriting. Inside was a letter, supposedly from her 10 year old son addressed to my husband. I have detailed this in the post  Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? I have provided a sample of Joan’s handwriting to compare. I believe that Joan wrote that letter, and knowing that I would call her, called the phone company to have a trap put on her line. I called her. She said wait. click. I thought we were disconnected. I called back. same thing. and a third time. I gave up. The following week, my electricity was cut off. Since she still owed me money from what she and her husband stole from me, I called her for my money. Same little game. I called her on June 28th at 1:55pm, 1:56, (twice). I even said “Joan, I need help!” She hung up. I then called the electric company. I have a computer printout. I called them at 2:28 pm. Joan reported to the police that I called her at 2:16pm, 2:23pm, 2:27pm, and 2:29 pm. I did call her at 1:55, and 1:56 pm, but not the other times. She obviously was getting annoyance phone calls, BUT THEY WERE NOT FROM ME!
How could I call her at 2:27 and 2:29 pm, when I was on the phone with the electric company? I will scan and post the complaint from the court that has the dates and times of the phone calls Joan received and the computer printout from the electric company.
Anyway, Joan relates in her book that it was February 1993 when she took to me court for these phone calls. WRONG! She signed the complaint on July 9th, 1993. We went to court and I was railroaded. They had me for the 3 calls I made on June 21. Joan was given a restraining order against me effective August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. FOR A TOTAL OF SIX MONTHS! Yet on page 316, she LIES and says it was for one year.
On page 323 in her book of lies, she tells a story of her moving on August 1, 1993. She relates how I violated the order of protection and came to her house. LIE! The restraining order was not in effect until August 9.

I scanned and posted the copy of the restraining order I recieved. The writing is worn out. So I made closeups of the name – which is mine, Ruth Sippel, and the dates – You can clearly make out August 9, 1993, it is more difficult to make out February 9, 1994, but it’s there!
So you see what a LIAR Joan Wheeler is!

Here is the complaint that Joan signed on July 9, 1993 that shows the dates and times she reported me calling her. Also the computer printout from the electric company showing that I called them on June 28, 1993 at 1428, military time for 2:28pm, to make payment arrangements to have my electric service turned on. Therefore, I did not call Joan Wheeler for the times listed after 2pm on June 28, 1993. Also, Joan Wheeler says that I was arrested over this. This is a LIE! I was served a SUMMONS TO APPEAR IN COURT.  A summons is just that: you are called to appear. If you fail to appear, THEN an arrest warrant is served against you. Since I appeared in court, no arrest warrant was issued against me. THEREFORE, I WAS NEVER ARRESTED. If anybody reading this wants to have any dealings with this proven liar, go ahead, but don’t come crying to me when she stabs you in the back.

the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler is full of lies December 18, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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I just got my copy. I paid One dollar for it thru Amazon.com. I also ordered dvd set of the Paper Chase season two. and got free shipping. So to me, that dollar I spent went for my shipping, and I got the book of lies for free.
This post is written in anger. This, this, THING that calls herself my sister, is a liar, thru and thru.
She says that her mentor Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, adoption expert from Utrecht, Holland came to my house to meet me and my husband. LIE! He never came to my house. Joan describes a scene where I jump up and am pumping my arms around calling her obsessed and POSSESSED. This is a lie!

Joan then describes the time in 1993 where she got a restraining order on me for annoyance phone calls. I have told the story briefly in the post about a forged letter I recieved that was supposedly written by her 10 year old son. But it was not from her son, it was written by Joan. See the post, you may have to click on “older posts” to see the letter. I scanned and posted it.
Joan says in her book that my phone service was listed under the name of Brandy Sippel and Francoise Sippel.
Brand was my Siberian Husky. She says in her book it was my cat. This happened in 1993? I did not get the dog until 1994! So how does my phone service get listed under Brandy Sippel? Brandy was her name when we got her as a three year old dog from people. I didn’t know Brandy until 1994.
In another part of the book of lies, she says that I went to a fertility clinic. WRONG AND LIES! I never went to a fertility clinic. I tried for 4 years to have a child with my first husband, then had a miscarriage. I never went to any fertility clinic or testing.

Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, I was going to write another post about the time Joan conned YOU into that nonsense about my sister in England’s belongings. I wasn’t going to use your real name, but since you wrote the forward to this book of lies, I hold you partially responsible for this crazy woman’s book of lies.
In your letter to my sister April 19, 1993, you tell K. that the cost of shipping her belongings to her would cost $500.00, and Joan did not have a car at that time to drive the stuff to a post office.
What Joan did NOT tell you, Dr. Hoksbergen, is that K. had sent a money order to Joan to cover the shipping costs. And she wrote and told Joan if she needed to take a cab, to call her and K. would send more money for cabfare. It was my father, who sent some of K.’s belongings to her for $52.50 OUT OF HIS OWN MONEY!
I have a letter that Joan wrote to K. that says, “I have recieved the money order.”
What did she do with the money? She STOLE IT! JUST LIKE SHE STOLE OVER $900.00 FROM ME! I notice THAT isn’t in her book! She also STOLE most of K.’s belongings BY NOT SHIPPING THEM TO HER.
She justifies herself in her book as saying that she didn’t have time to ship the stuff over. And something about why did K. leave her stuff here anyway?

That’s all the stuff I’ve read so far. I don’t think I’ll read anymore today. I have housework to do, and a concert to go to tonight.

No, I’m not ruining your professional reputation, you are doing that yourself. Your book is a bunch of lies.

Dr. Rene Hoksbergen: you know damed well you never set foot in my house. And that conversation never took place. You are responsible for this lying book as much as Joan is.
On page 359, of this book of lies, Joan says that in February 1999, she sent a nice letter to my brother in Arizona, concerning the 25 th anniversary of our reunion. She relates a nice letter. She says she sent similar letters to her sisters.
I am going to post the letter I recieved. Along with another one I got from her saying that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, and the baby girl was born in 1993. LIE! the only two babies born in that house were boys, no baby was even born on my street in 1993.
I was just trying to post those letters here, but it’s not working. But I will get them up. “I wrote similar letters to my sisters.” LIAR. The letter to my brother was sweet, mine was full of hate and lies.
But that’s all Joan has ever shown me is hate and lies.
And by the way, she blames ME for her breakup with her boyfriend Brian? She says in her book, that she told him that she (Joan) borrowed $800 from me.
LIE she and her husband STOLE IT FROM ME.
We were going to buy an apartment building together, I put up money that I borrowed from the bank. Into a joint checking account. I gave her husband permission to borrow $500.00 to buy a case of fireworks to sell. When it was being sold, he never put the money back. And Joan stole over $200.00 to fix her car without my permission.
This was not borrowed money, this was STOLEN money!

Lacking the courage to stand by what you said previously December 15, 2009

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On December 7, Joan Wheeler very cockily posted personal information about me and my sisters on her blog. She was very ticked off because I dared to have this blog. This blog that is designed  for getting out the truth behind my mother’s death, Joan’s adoption, our reunion with her when she turned 18, the stories of the abuse that I, and other people have suffered at Joan’s hands, and to refute the LIES that Joan says about me and my family.

She also had a page devoted to “Cyber Bullies” inferring that I am a cyber bullie, merely because I am putting out the truth.  On that page, she provided links to my blog.

Part of her ranting and raving on December 7 and December 9, yes, I said ranting and raving, she had posts titled, “Warning: Abusers Stay Away,” and, gee, I can’t remember the exact title, but it did contain the “Rant.” In the Abusers Stay Away post, she goes on and on about me, about how I am using multiple IP addresses to visit her blog, using my employer’s internet to spy on her. – I explained in a post here about IP addresses, that if you shut your modem off, the IP address will reset. And when I am on my lunch break, am on my off hours, on my personal laptop, using a complimentary wireless, then what the heck is she complaining about? And when I shut off my laptop, the internal modem is shut off, so Joan needs to just stop accusing me of doing everything and anything under the sun. lol.

She names various members of her adoptive family,  goes on and on about all kinds of abuses that she thinks happened to her. She never goes into specifics on these “abuses,” nor does she scan and post the evidence! Just names of people she obviously hates. (is there anybody on this planet that she doesn’t hate?) Then she posts the name of my employer, the cities where my two older sisters live, the maiden name and married names of my oldest sister, then goes on about my sister’s Pagan religion and holds that religion up to ridicule.

Now over here, at my blog, I hold to the truth. lol. On my page, visit my other websites, I invite people to visit me at myspace and facebook. On my facebook page I had already listed my employer. So I don’t know what Joan thinks she was “hurting” me with.  But all that aside, her goal WAS to hurt me. Sorry, Joan, after that last tirade of  filthy verbal abuse you flung at me when I merely called to tell you that your godmother died, I am no longer going to be hurt. I recognize you for what you are: a little 5 year old tyrant. All your threats mean nothing to me. And as Sarek said, “Threats are illogical, and payment is usually high.”

But getting back to Joan showing her religious intolerance, I am also Pagan. I am a Wiccan. I know that many people do not hold Pagans near and dear. I do not wish to start a religious war. I was raised Roman Catholic. I left Catholicism because it wasn’t for me. I studied Islam when I first married my first husband. But I have been studying all forms of metaphysics since I was a teenager, and officially became a Wiccan in the year 2000. Wicca is a nature religion. We believe in God, we also believe in the Goddess. We believe in the duality of nature, male and female in all things, Divinity included. We hold reverence for Mother Earth and Father Sky, and reverence for all life. In Wicca, our basic rule for morality is “Harm None.” With this, and our reverence for life, we don’t even like to squish bugs. Because they are a lifeform on this planet too.  We also hold truth, honesty, and integrity very high. Are we perfect? No, not at all. Am I perfect? lol, nooo. I’m not. I make plenty of mistakes. But when I do, I own up to them.  I don’t kill or eat babies, human or otherwise. Wiccans don’t worship Satan, because we don’t believe in Satan. As I said before, we believe in the duality of nature, male and female, dark and light, good and evil. They just … are.  See, we don’t believe in a devil “tempting” us, and we don’t “blame” the devil when we do something bad. “the devil made me do it.” NO, the devil did not make you do it, YOU made you do it.

Now a lot of people will just say, “oh, you’re a Wiccan. ” and keep on going. Others, like Kathie Lee Gifford will stick her foot in her mouth and say, “oh those dirty evil pagans.” and get reamed out. I’m not dirty, I bathe regularly. Evil? Nope, my choice of career is to take care of the sick and dying in a hospital.

There are a lot of religions out there. Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddism, Shinto, Theodism, Wicca, Druidism, and many, many more. But they all seek the Divine, a oneness of humanity with the Divine. Divinity is all the same to all religions, it is simply called a different name in each of the religions. The difference of religions, is how each religion is practiced under it’s own set of man-made rules. If the set of rules of one religion is not for your taste, then you have the choice to find a religion that has a set of rules and its own particular path to Divinity that you feel comfortable with. Just because I don’t feel comfortable with the path of Christianity, or the sometimes hypocrisy of the Catholic Church, doesn’t give me the right to put the Catholic Church down. I USED to be a religion teacher with my cousin at The West Seneca Developmental Center for the profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. We taught children ages 10 – 17, under a Catholic priest, who later came forward as a child molestor. oh, ugh! And we had his name on our resumes! But this does not mean that everyone in the Catholic Church is a child molestor.

Today, at a funeral mass, I was still awed and humbled by the Catholic mass. Did I turn my back on my Wiccan faith? Nope, just partaking in a different ritual to bring me closer to Divinity. Morally and ethically, we should not put down anybody’s choice of religion. The founding fathers of America knew this. Yes, America is predominantly a Christain country, the Puritans coming over from England were escaping religious discrimination. But oh, how the Native American religions got trampled. Still, when the Constitution of the United States was drafted and approved, one of the most highly regarded rights guaranteed by the Bill of Rights, is freedom of religion. We do also have the freedom of speech. So I recognize Joan’s freedom of speech to basically put down somebody’s religion. But it is not a wise thing to do. Putting down someone’s choice of religion is not nice. You may have the freedom to do it, but it’s just not nice. It’s not respectful.

So now, Joan seems to have second thoughts about posting all those hateful things she did last week. The warning to abusers is password protected and the Cyber Bully page is gone. As the webmistress of the site she has every right to do this. But it just smacks of cowardice. And typical of Joan’s “attack and run” personality. She doesn’t have the guts to stand by what she says. Or if it is pointed out to her that what she did was wrong, instead of owning up to her mistake, and apologizing for it, she simply wipes it out, deletes the posts, and pretends it never happened. So typical of Joan, because she has never, NEVER EVER, taken responsibility for her own actions. “don’t pin any negativity on me, ” she said in one of her posts she deleted,  and “It’s not my fault my reunion went bad.” 

No, Joan, we CAN’T pin the negativity on you, because you’re Teflon, it slides right off. But all kidding aside, this is Joan in her classic mode. She steals money from me in 1990 and 19 years later, will not admit it. Her ex-husband owned up to me about it, but never Joan. Why, once, my roommate Joyce, my husband’s cousin, who was living with us, had Joan on the phone. She told Joan, “Joan, if I gave you $50.00 to go to K-Mart and pay on my lay-away, and you go to the store, and the store is closed, what do you with the money? Do you give it back to me, or do you spend it on yourself. ” With me standing next to her, Joyce then held the receiver between our heads so we could both hear Joan’s response: “I give you back your money.” Joyce then asked her, “well why won’t you give Ruth back her money?” Joan didn’t answer. Because she couldn’t, the little thief and liar couldn’t. Her sin caught up to her. She stammered something about my car, (she had stolen the money to get her car fixed), and John and me had two cars, and some kind of nonsense like that. BUT she screwed herself. We only had one car in August 1990, when she stole the money. My friend Hassna gave us her clunker car in October, two months after Joan’s theft. The clunker car needed work, and our other car, the Grand Prix died the end of September, 1990. Because of Joan’s theft, we didn’t have the money to fix either car. It took us a couple of months, we got the clunker Cadillac going, it lasted about 5 months. We still did not have the money to fix the Grand Prix. We went for years without a car. The Grand Prix dry rotted out, we sold it for junk for $40.00. I was still paying off the bank loan that was part of  the money that Joan stole from me. So Joan’s thievery and selfishness left my  husband and me, taking public transportation in the cold.  And in a financial bind. BUT TO THIS DAY, JOAN WHEELER WILL NOT OWN UP TO WHAT SHE DID! She’s a thief. We all know it. But she will not admit to it.

Come on Joan, where’s your courage? Got none? NOPE, because you are a thief. You are a liar, and you are a coward. When you post something on the internet, have the courage to stand by it. You have no honor.  You broke your promise to me many years ago, when you promised to pay me the money back. Your word is yourself. You break your word, you break yourself.  Not me, not your other birth sisters, not your adoptive cousins, but you, you and you alone. “It’s not my fault.” oh yes it is Joan, yes it is.

Attack and run. This is what you always have done Joan. Attack and run. This is exactly what bullies do Joan. Attack and run. Cyber bullying? Yes, Joan, you have always been a bully, and now that you have discovered the internet, you have found a new way to bully me, and others. “don’t read my blog,” you dictate to me, yet you admit to coming over and reading my blog. Typical bully behavior.

Narcissistic personality disorder December 14, 2009

Posted by Ruth in mental illness, Uncategorized.
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Now I have long suspected that my sister Joan Wheeler was mentally unstable. I’ve said so for more than 20 years. When she blasted me with another round of verbal abuse during my phone call of November 3, 2009 (where I called to tell her that her godmother had died), I was deeply hurt. I knew that our track record was not so good. But I really did not think she would go off on me the way she did. Silly me. Anyway, I was so hurt, I just burst into tears when I hung up on her. I went to my dad’s house. While I was driving over there, she had called him, an 85 year old man, (of whom she gets on the internet and to elicit sympathy reports that he is dying), but on November 3, she screamed at him on the phone, resulting in him hanging up on her. That day, my father told me, “Joan is mentally ill. You cannot reason with her.”

Now I am NOT posting this in order to attack Joan, I have not built this blog to attack Joan.  The purpose of this blog is twofold: To get out the truth behind Joan Wheeler’s adoption and what happened to our family afterwards. And to tell the truth behind our reunion with our little sister and why that reunion went bad. It went bad because of Joan’s arrogance, her meddling in family affairs and our lives,  her harassment of us and subjecting us to emotional and verbal abuse.  She has disrespected  almost her entire birth family (those have not been engaged in a harassment war with her are simply those she has a use for).

Joan Wheeler, in her book Forbidden Family, and on various internet sites, her own blog sites, adoption reform sites, discussion forums, and in comment sections on various sites on the internet, keeps putting forth a false account of her adoption, even though she has been told the truth by the one person who should dam well know the truth: my father.

I INTERRUPT THIS POST WITH AN UPDATE APRIL 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!




Joan says he was talked into giving her up for adoption, that he was under duress, that the Catholic Church talked him into giving her up.  She blames her adoptive family, The Wheelers for coercing him to give her up, then she says The Wheelers blame him for giving her up. She says that members of the Wheelers and my mother’s family blame my father for separating the rest of us kids. NO. There were no daycare centers in 1956. There were no adults to help. My father’s  parents were elderly, my grandfather was deaf and had one leg,  my grandmother worked two jobs. My father had no siblings. My mother’s siblings were getting old, and the others had a bunch of little kids and babies of their own. One brother of my mother offered to adopt ME, so how could my mother’s family blame my dad for separating us, when one of them offered to do so? (with love, I may add, my uncle and his wife were the sweetest people you’d ever met).  As for the Wheelers: it was one of the Wheelers who first suggested that Joan be adopted: her brother and his wife were childless, so she approached my mother’s sister, a childhood friend of hers, and my aunt then approached my dad. So again, how could the Wheelers be blaming my dad for giving her up. And how could my mother’s sister be blaming my dad, when it was her who approached me dad. My father told ME personally many years ago that after he was approached by my aunt, he thought long and hard about it. He consulted his parish priest (that’s how the Catholic Church got into this), he consulted a lawyer.  The adoption became finalized approximately NINE MONTHS LATER. In those nine months, my father had ample time to reconsider his decision. So whatever garbage you have heard from or read from Joan Wheeler concerning the facts of her adoption is a bunch of lies. She doesn’t even get her lies straight. She does say it was a Wheeler relative who wanted the baby. But does she not then say it was the Wheelers who blast my father doing this? Go back and read her comments on the ABCNews.com article “Adoptees face sting of discrimination.” Put yourself mentally back in time to 1956, when there were no daycare centers, no welfare system like we have now. Nowadays, when you have a baby, you can simply go downtown and get everything provided for you. Rent on voucher, food stamps, WIC, medical and dental for yourself and your baby, appliances, utilities paid for, spending money; your whole existance, and your child(ren) are all taken care of. Not 50 years ago. And all the people involved in Joan’s adoption were all acting to take care of her physical being. To ensure she had a roof over her head, clothes and food, diapers changed, bottles given. Who would have done that if she were laying in a crib all day unattended and my dad at work to earn money to pay the bills?

Joan knows all this, she’s a mother herself, but of course never worked a blasted day in her life while her kids were babies. And she always had her mother and daycamp to help out. MY FATHER HAD NO SUCH HELP! And because we, her birth sisters, have tried for years to get her see the TRUTH of what happened to her, and to us, we have been singled out as targets for her abuse, her lies, her harassment.

In this blog, what I have written and scanned and posted, has always been to prove that I, Ruth Sippel, and her two older sisters, (we, The Three Sippel Sisters) are NOT the ones who are doing the lying, the bashing, the trashtalking, the manipulation, the soap opera plots, the interfering, the meddling, the harassment. It is, and always WAS Joan. I have scanned and posted some of the actual letters that I have received from Joan. Any letters that I have written to her, and I will scan and post them (those that I still have) to prove that the purpose of MY letters were always to plead with Joan to STOP her abuse and harassment and LEAVE ME ALONE! and for her to SHUT UP! When I, or any of Joan’s birth or adoptive families have told her to shut up, it was not for her to shut up about her adoption reform work (unless she had talked about til the point we were nauseous), but mostly we were trying to get her to SHUT UP AND STOP HARASSING US.

Joan’s manipulation of the truth, her lies, her contradicting herself while posting one thing on one internet forum, then another thing on another forum, are all indictive of someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

So I learned a little bit of NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) and want to share it with you. There’s a long list of traits here, and I have noticed all but 2 with Joan, and the last three, being about work, sleep and eating habits, I have no knowledge. But what fits Joan Wheeler to a “T” is the last 4 paragraphs. Please read all this post, and especially pay attention to the last 4 paragraphs. Readers here who may personally know Joan Wheeler, control your blood pressures! And if you are in a public library, I know it will be difficult to keep silent. You will all want to jump up and shout to the universe: THAT’S JOAN! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SHE DOES! AND IS!  Any phrase outlined in bold is MY emphasis on these phrases. Because this is exactly what I have noticed in Joan. Others may recognize the same phrases, or not, or they may notice other phrases that are of particular importance to them. Happy reading.

*************************The following is NOT my writing. But taken from several sources.  But dang, those last 4 paragraphs could have been written by me. Because I have LIVED it.! I have experienced it from Joan Wheeler! **This is printed here for informational purposes only. To understand why Joan Wheeler is the way she is. ***************************************

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include: Believing that you’re better than others; Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness; Exaggerating your achievements or talents; Expecting constant praise and admiration; Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly; Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings; Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans; Taking advantage of others; Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior; Being jealous of others; Believing that others are jealous of you; Trouble keeping healthy relationships; Setting unrealistic goals; Being easily hurt and rejected; Having a fragile self-esteem; Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional;

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves more than they value others. When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance. But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better. Essentially, narcissists are unable or unwilling to trust either the world or other people to meet their needs. Perhaps they were born to parents unable to connect emotionally and, thus, as infants learned not to let another person be essential to them in any way. Perhaps NPD starts later, when intrusive or abusive parents make it dangerous for the child to accept other people’s opinions and valuations. Maybe it comes from a childhood environment of being treated like royalty or little gods. Whatever the case, narcissists have made the terrible choice not to love. In their imaginations, they are complete unto themselves, perfect and not in need of anything anyone else can give them. (NB: Narcissists do not count their real lives — i.e., what they do every day and the people they do it with — as worth anything.) Their lives are impoverished and sterile; the price they pay for their golden fantasies is high: they’ll never share a dream for two.

Traits: amoral/conscienceless; authoritarian; care only about appearances; contemptuous; critical of others; cruel; disappointing gift-givers; don’t recognize own feelings; envious and competitive; feel entitled; flirtatious or seductive; grandiose; hard to have a good time with; hate to live alone; hyper-sensitive to criticism; impulsive; lack sense of humor; naive; passive; pessimistic; religious; secretive; self-contradictory; stingy; strange work habits; unusual eating habits; weird sense of time

The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They will do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath. It can be trivial (e.g., about what they want for lunch) or it can be serious (e.g., about whether or not they love you). When you ask them which one they mean, they’ll deny ever saying the first one, though it may literally have been only seconds since they said it — really, how could you think they’d ever have said that? You need to have your head examined! They will contradict FACTS. They will lie to you about things that you did together. They will misquote you to yourself. If you disagree with them, they’ll say you’re lying, making stuff up, or are crazy. [At this point, if you’re like me, you sort of panic and want to talk to anyone who will listen about what is going on: this is a healthy reaction; it’s a reality check (“who’s the crazy one here?”); that you’re confused by the narcissist’s contrariness, that you turn to another person to help you keep your bearings, that you know something is seriously wrong and worry that it might be you are all signs that you are not a narcissist]. They will complain about the same things for years on end, but only rarely do anything to change what dissatisfies them so badly. Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and (b) extremely critical of other people. They think that they must be seen as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) — or else they are worthless. There’s no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for narcissists. They can’t tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say, “Please don’t do that again — it hurts,” narcissists will turn around and do it again harder to prove that they were right the first time; their reasoning seems to be something like “I am a good person and can do no wrong; therefore, I didn’t hurt you and you are lying about it now…” — sorry, folks, I get lost after that.

Anyhow, narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big ones, because they’re paying attention to their fantasy and not to you, but the bruises on you are REAL, not in your imagination. Thus, no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon’s cave — narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then — well, it’s kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: “There. Now I feel better. Where were we?” They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, “You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)” Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice.

The other “punishment” narcissists mete out is banishing you from their glorious presence — this can turn into a farce, since by this point you are probably praying to be rescued, “Dear God! How do I get out of this?” The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal of her/his divine attention, so that after a while — a few weeks or months (i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) — the narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson, you won’t answer that call. They can’t see that they have a problem; it’s always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate their real selves, they don’t want to change — they want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won’t brook the slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of, though they’ll tell you that what they feel is love and respect; apparently they don’t know the difference between fear and love. Narcissists just get worse and worse as they grow older; their parents and other authority figures that they’ve feared die off, and there’s less and less outside influence to keep them in check.

Narcissists lack a mature conscience and seem to be restrained only by fear of being punished or of damaging their reputations — though, again, this can be obscure to casual observation if you don’t know what they think their reputations are, and what they believe others think of them may be way out of touch with reality. Their moral intelligence is about at the level of a bright five- or six-year-old; the only rules they recognize are things that have been specifically required, permitted, prohibited, or disapproved of by authority figures they know personally. Anyhow, narcissists can’t be counted on not to do something just because it’s wrong, illegal, or will hurt someone, as long as they think that they can get away with it or that you can’t stop them or punish them (i.e., they don’t care what you think unless they’re afraid of you).

seeing graphics in posts. December 14, 2009

Posted by Ruth in aa. Viewing graphics in posts.
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the small graphics that are in the posts can be seen full size by simpling clicking on them. If the picture resizes itself to a smaller size, move your cursor over it. A small orange box will appear in the lower right hand corner of the graphic. Click on that, and the graphic will maximize again. When you are done, click on your “back” button to return to the post.

an email exchange of March 31, 2004 December 14, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Ruth’s new edit, 11:06 pm, December 25, 2009. I first posted this on December 14, 2009, 4 days before I received the book of lies Forbidden Family.The graphics on the bottom of the post are the 7 pages of the printout  I made of an email I sent to her live-in boyfriend from my email account (hotmail). I sent the email off and sent a copy of it to myself at another email account. Before I sent off the draft, I also printed out what I sent.

On page 388 of her lying book, Joan writes the following about the family website we were building. She says in her book, she made the mistake of bringing up the past in a private email to me (in January 2004). That is correct, she made the mistake of bringing up the past. Why does she continue to do this? Just a few months before, we had already hashed thru some old hurts. We both agreed to leave the past in the past. But she WILL NOT MOVE ON! But her email was not just about the past, she attacks me for moving her photo around, then launches into her usual nonsense about me attacking and plotting against her. (oh how f’ing boring and tiresome she is). She says in her book that I flew into a rage, wrote her back and said that the website was no place to discuss family dirty laundry. WHAT? I never said that. And the actual printouts of the actual email exchange between her and me are posted right here on the bottom of this post. If you need help in viewing these pages, simply click on each graphic. It will minimize itself. Wait a couple of seconds, and move your cursor over it. A small orange box will appear on the lower right hand corner. Click on the orange box and the graphic will maximize again. Please read the entire 7 pages. A chore, I know. Please bear with me. But keep your eye for when I blast her for airing family dirty laundry. Didn’t see it? Well, you won’t! BECAUSE I NEVER SAID THAT. I NEVER WROTE THAT IN MY EMAIL. WHAT YOU WILL SEE IS MY PLEAS FOR HER TO GET OVER HER BULLSHIT AND MOVE ON! She does correctly say in the book that I terminated her membership in the website. BECAUSE SHE WAS ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE AGAIN, AS USUAL, BUT AS USUAL, IN HER BOOK, SHE WON’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER OWN ACTIONS, BUT SHIFTS THE DAM BLAME ONTO ME AGAIN.

Now here is the original post I wrote 4 days before I got the lying book and read Joan’s lie concerning this event:

The following is a printout of an email exchange I had in early 2004. What happened was this:
While we were in Arizona for our brother’s funeral in early September 2003, I was telling Joan how I had a website over at the now defunct MSN groups service. I wanted to start a website devoted to family. sharing photos, stories, events. Joan was all for it. We exchanged emails and I told her that I would start the group and email her. I did, and my oldest sister’s daughter also joined. In time, a few other family members joined. I had explained to Joan that I did not have a working computer at home, I did have a used computer at home, but it wasn’t working. There was someone at work who could fix it, but I didn’t have the money to pay him. In December 2003, when my father had open heart surgery, Joan gave me her phone number on a piece of paper and told me to call her new hubby, as he fixed computers. I took the paper, but threw it out later.
    I eventually did get the computer fixed, but it didn’t work very well, so I waited until 2006, when my mortgage was payed up and got a good used computer, which is still my main computer. I had planned to get a scanner, but I didn’t have any money. but that is all fixed now.

ANYWAY, things were going good. I posted a few pictures that I had on photo CDs. Others, I took over to Wal-Mart and they scanned them and put them on a CD. From the CDs, I was able to post some pictures on the website. Things were going smoothly, or so I thought. In January 2004, I was very sick, with a bad cold and a bad sore throat. I remember I even posted as such on the website. If memory serves, I titled the post “A Bad Cold” or “A Bad Sore Throat.” I even said that since I was sick, I probably wouldn’t be at work, and I did have a few days off. I didn’t have internet at home, so this meant I wouldn’t be at the site for awhile.
    I did start a second website, because I thought the name was too exclusionary. I discussed this with the membership and asked for submissions for a name for the second sister site. We discussed how I couldn’t change the name of the site, so we needed to get it right the first time. So we had The Sippel Family Photo Album for one site, and Family Tales, Photos and Happenings for the second one. Joan had posted some pictures at the first site. There was one picture that she had the date wrong, also there were 2 old playmates of us Sippel kids. So I fixed the date, put in the correct names.
   What was Joan’s to my working on the caption of “her” photo? (and by the way, she wasn’t in the picture). her response was to throw a hissy fit. The blasted crybaby! Okay, okay, that’s one thing. I could (sort of) understand her complaints, (not really, but just for the sake of argument.) So as usual, Dictator Joan starts going off on a tangent, bringing in all kinds of stuff that were not related to the website, Even dragging my best friend into it. then she starts imagining plots and all kinds of other stuff. Then she tells me of a discussion that she and her daughter had about my oldest sister. Oh, but gee wow, Dictator Joan keeps telling US not to talk about HER, but she and her daughter can talk about my sister?
   Now I didn’t see this email when she first sent it, because I was out sick. by the time I got back to the internet, the email had got buried. I didn’t find it until the night of March 31. I was very hurt and angry by yet another attack by Joan. Maybe she felt she had a genuine question about me working on the photo. ok. but did that justify her dragging all the other stuff in it? but this is how she operates. She can’t STICK TO THE SUBJECT. She can’t get over one disagreement. Even when something has been settled, she will not forget about it. She will keep on it. she will then start with the personal attacks. And drag innocent people into our feud.
    I emailed her back, but she emailed and said she would not read what I wrote. Again, with the dictatorship. YOU MUST READ WHAT JOAN WRITES, BUT DON’T BOTHER TO TRY TO DEFEND YOURSELF. SHE WILL NOT BOTHER. YOU ARE DAMED IN HER EYES AND THAT’S THAT.
So I wrote a couple other responses to her. But then I said to myself, ok, if she won’t listen to me when I am trying to tell her that I was sick in January, and tell her WHY I did what I did to her photo, I collated them all and sent them to her live-in boyfriend. I booted the dictator off my website. And had nothing more to do with her until she started bashing me and my sisters on the internet in September 2008 and October 2009. Five years of peace. And who always starts the crap: JOAN WHEELER.
    Her original email to me, of January 21, is on page 3 here. In it she talks of sensing an undertone of talking about her and plotting against her. And she thinks she been duped. Do you see why we question her mental health? It is not normal for someone to go around thinking of plots and people talking about her when all I did was recaption a photograph!
    On pages 5 thru 7, I detail by busy life. I also had a sick cat, my Samantha, born into my hand (I was midwive for Morris) on July 4, 1988. She was 16 years old, my baby. I had to put her to sleep in April 2004. With all that was going on in my busy life, and nursing my kitty, I had no time to be plotting and talking about and duping anybody, let alone a nutball like Joan Wheeler.
Would someone please get this woman on some meds?


Cyber Bullies Indeed! Teflon Dictator has no shame, part 2 December 13, 2009

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An observation from someone: “She obviously has a one-track mind when it comes to us. Has she actually been diagnosed as schizoid, cos that’s exactly what she is presenting. Her fixation on us, her insistence on blaming us for all her ills,and the fact that she is accusing us of doing exactly what she is doing,the bullying, and the way she targets you in particular, is precisely the way my ex-neighbour behaved-and she was officially diagnosed as schizoid. There’s obviously more going on than bitterness over adoption.”

Yes, that’s exactly it. I have been her target for years. The stealing from me, the bulliness she has shown to me since 1983. The soap opera plots. My god, she must have gotten these sick ideas from watching General Hospital back in the day when Luke and Laura were on. There was one sick beyotch on there, dam if I can remember her name, but I swear, all these silly things Joan has been doing comes from the soaps. I used to watch a lot of them, but got away from them. Now I only watch Young and the Restless. gosh, what Joan has done to me puts Katherine Chancelor and Jill Foster Abbott to shame. Mrs. C. and Jill have been feuding since the show started in 1973. Is that where you’re getting ideas from Joan? From Y+ R? lol.

Also in her blog, she attacks my oldest sister for her Pagan religion. I am Pagan as well.

Excuse me, Joan Wheeler, we live in America and in America, we have the Freedom of  Religion. And in case you didn’t do your research, because I know you didn’t, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA DOES OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZE MY RELIGION, WICCA AS AN OFFICIAL RELIGION.



amd in the past, you slammed the Catholic Church? And you posted an erroneous post about Yom Kippur back in October?

My blog readers, and I know you guys are out there. And anyone who clicks on over from Joan’s site, and ANY investigator, or any visitor from BGH: I ask you now, who is the bully, cyber or otherwise?

Cyber Bullies indeed! Teflon Dictator has no shame. December 13, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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So over at her blog The Teflon Dictator has been waving this TRUTHFUL blog around as a den of iniquities. Namely a place for her rotten sisters to live and do their dirty deeds from. She pleads with an “investigator” to come over and investigate this blog and my other blog at LadyMoondancer’s Realm.

Again we see The Teflon Dictator at her two-faced self. “They are bullying me.” sob. sob. BUT what does she do? Blabs all our private stuff again. Not that my stuff is all that private, She thought she was really hurting me by putting out my employer’s name.  In my page “visit me at my other websites,” I invite my readers to go to my other blog, and my facebook page, which I had already listed my employer. HOWEVER, by Joan Wheeler posting my employer in the context that she did, and other private info about my other 2 sisters shows you readers and any investigators what a cyber bully JOAN is.

Any of you readers need medical attention, by all means, come to my hospital. We give excellant care. And as the largest private employer in Erie County, Kaleida Health, with all it’s medical sites, is a great place to work. We have great benefits. The pay is dam good.  When my husband was in for surgery this past July, the staff gave him excellent care, and not because he was my spouse, but because they just did. When it came time for discharge, and we were waiting for a wheelchair, the MANAGER of the floor went and got one personally for us. And she didn’t even know I was an employee. (with KH employing thousands of people on three different shifts at multiple sites, it is impossible for employees to  personally know each other).  I have worked there for 37 years. I have grown up there. I have learned much from KH. And still learning.

Yeah, I’m a Buffalo General employee and dam proud of it too!

With it’s rich history. Do you know BGH started out as a US Army hospital during the Civil War? It has been in existance for over 150 years. It trains doctors thru it’s partnership with the University of Buffalo Medical School. We used to have our own nursing school until it closed down, I believe in the early 90’s. Many of the staff nurses working there now got their nursing degrees from the BGH Nursing School. And BGH used to partner with the Buffalo Board of Education, having the high school students who attended pre-nursing classes over at the Fosdick-Masten Vocational High School (currently City Honors). These young girls would come over to BGH, just 3 blocks away, and serve as “Candy Stripers,” and do volunteer work with the patients. When they graduated from high school, they went across Goodrich St. and attended nursing school, with their hands on training provided by BGH.

Do you think I work there by force? Heck, I live much closer to St. Joseph’s Hospital and ECMC.  In the 80’s, I used to live near Sheehan Memorial. In the 70’s, I could have worked at Columbus Hospital or Millard Fillmore Gates. Or even Veteran’s Memorial. No, I work at BGH because I like it over there. I like my co-workers, and I like my patients.

So if Dictator Joan thinks she has hurt me in any way by posting where I work, no, not in the least. And if there has been any violation in internet protocol, it seems to be coming from only one person: The Teflon Dictator herself: Joan Wheeler.  “Don’t come on the internet and blab my stuff,” she says, but what did she herself do? yep, that’s right, she went and blabbed MY stuff. This is what I mean by Dictator. Joan will dictate to everyone, DON’T DO THAT! ONLY I CAN DO THAT. The epitome of a bully. If there is a cyber bully around, it’s Joan.

If posts have been made on an internet forum that Joan does not own, who is she to dictate to me how or when or what to post? If the host of any website does not like my comment, they can remove it, or leave it up. Again, if Joan is not the owner of said website, she has no business saying what I can post. She can comment after me, and say she disagrees with me, but she cannot control the internet. The only thing she can control is the content of her own site.

JOAN: DO YOU OWN LEGACY.COM? NO? THEN I SUGGEST YOU SHUT UP WHEN I POST ONE SIMPLE WORD: TEST ……oh, I get it, I wrote the word TEST, and in your paranoid delusional mind you thought I was harassing you. I can see how that word would set you off the deep end. I really bothered you with that word.  It really interfered with your life. SOMEBODY GET A NOOSE! STRING RUTH UP! SHE TYPED A WORD THAT JOAN THINKS IS OFFENSIVE! run for your life! The TEST  is coming. The TEST is coming. What the hell is the matter with you? The only reason I can think the word TEST would strike terror in somebody’s heart would be a school kid who is facing a TEST. But then again, Joan acts like a dam spoiled little kid anyway. Yes, that must be it.

 I said it here before, there has been peace between us for a few years. Since Joan has discovered the internet, she has found a new tool to bash us. She started the cyber bullying herself in September 2008 when she ridiculed my Pagan values and singled out The Three Sippel Sisters.

In another post here, I point out that I have been on the internet since the year 2000, and have been on many sites. I have even had my own sites. I have never bashed her in all these 9 years. It was Joan Wheeler, The Dictator, who started the cyber bullying. She goes all over the internet and bashes her birth sisters. She says we interfere with her life, yet will not give specific details. This is indictive of a lying bully. There are no details to give. She rants about ruining reputations, but will not admit to trying to ruin mine. Yes, she called BGH repeatedly in an attempt to get me fired back in 94 – 95, even tho she was told by administration that I didn’t do what she accused me of. She wrote letters to the mayor of Buffalo, a state senator, and others. She tells people I have a criminal record, when I don’t, and was even a volunteer with the Buffalo Police VIABLE program, which you can’t be part of if you have a criminal record. She claims she has an order of protection on me at the present time, which is a lie. I challenged her to produce the evidence. Scan it and post for the internet world to see. She will not do it. Because she can’t. She doesn’t have one! The one she had was back in 93 and it was for 6 months, and it was dismissed. Yet she tells people I was sentanced to 6 months probation. An order of protection is NOT probation. The judge said if I stayed away from her it would be dismissed. And it was.

But will she tell you readers how I had to take her to court in 1999 when she sent me a letter telling me my fiance got the next door pregnant? I was granted a one year order of protection agains her. (by the way, she claims the baby girl was born in 1993), I have lived here for 22 years. The only 2 babies born at that house were boys.  And the house was vacant in 1993! Geez, if you’re going to deal with bullshit, please, get it right!

Will she tell you readers how she and her husband stole almost $1000.00 from me? Of course not, She is Teflon, any wrongdoing slides right off her.

lol. She even accuses me of using my employers internet to stalk her. Geez Louise! I go on my lunch break, and using my personal laptop, I use my employer’s complimentary wireless to visit her blog. OH NO! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! JOAN THE DICTATOR HAS GIVEN HER DECREE THAT I, RUTH SIPPEL, MAY NOT READ HER BLOG! however, WHO IS OVER HERE READING MY BLOG, that’s right DICTATOR JOAN WHEELER HERSELF. And wonder of wonders! She is providing links for her readers to come over here!

She accused me of using multiple IP addresses. I did my research and posted a tutorial, explaining that when your modem is shut off, the IP address resets itself. But Joan, instead of doing her research, jumps up and screams “RUTH IS BULLYING ME. SHE’S HACKING AND USING MULTIPLE IP ADDRESSES TO BOTHER ME.” oh puh-leeze!

This is the kind of crap I’ve had to put up with for years. It’s very tiresome.

She’s says on her blog “…their nonsense (me and my sisters) is costing me personal and emotional pain, suffering, humiliation.”

Does she not think that we have suffered persona, emotional pain, suffering and humilation” at her hands? How does she think I felt that my own sister would write me a letter telling me a lie that my fiance got the next door lady pregnant? Did she not think that I would show that letter to John. If she thought he’d get mad, she was right about that. He was good and hopping mad. I think if we didn’t have a car at the time, she would have wound up needing dentures. And she had sent letters to my mother-in-law’s house too. Addressed to John, telling him to leave me. What did she accomplish? Nothing! We’re still together, 22 years strong. But all this was in 1994-early 95. When her own marriage was crumbling. She couldn’t stand the fact that her sister had a stable relationship while her own was going down the tubes. Heck, she even called child abuse on herself! Yepper! Called child abuse, and said, “hi, this is Ruth Sippel. I wanna call child abuse on my sister. Her and her boyfriend molest her daughter. His name is John pace.”

O come on! I’m gonna call a phony child abuse call using my real name, and name my own fiance! Like I said above, honey, if you’re gonna deal in bullshit, get it right.

So an assitant district attorney shows up at my house and reams me out. I don’t think she thought I made the call, but you know, they were getting dam tired of the bullshit. And I don’t blame them. I was tired of it myself. So she “laid down the law” on me so to speak. Yelled at me even. Hey, I can understand things from her point of view. But I told her, just make sure you tell Joan what you just told me. And she did. Everything was cool for 3 years.

THEN in 1998, some guy, I don’t know, never met him, don’t even know his name, bumps into Joan’s ex-husband in South Carolina. Seems he used to know my oldest sister. He trashtalks her to Colby. Colby comes to Buffalo for a visit and tells Joan. Joan writes me a letter about it.

UM, didn’t the District Attorney tell us not to contact each other? DUH! So why is Joan writing me a letter about a guy I don’t know, about something that happend in another state with her ex-husband, who I don’t have contact with?


Ruining someone’s personal and professional reputation December 12, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Teflon Dictator Joan Wheeler, on December 9,  in a rant on her blog about her book Forbidden Family, sobs and whines that her sisters have ruined her personal and professional reputation. Then today, December 12, she espouses love and open communication.

Joan, how do you view your calling my job in 1994 and 1995 falsely accusing me of computer tampering and computer hacking? Sure, the hospital investigated your claim, they have to. But you know, they never told me about it. They protected me. I only found out about because YOU sent me the photocopies of the letter you wrote to the director of patient accounts.  That’s when I found out all about the rotten stuff you did.

After the hospital addressed your complaint and investigated, and tracked the problem to a typing mistake that occured at 4pm (I work 11pm-7am), they told you that I did not do it. But you weren’t going to have it. So you set out to RUIN MY PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL REPUTATION.

You called the nursing office repeatedly in the daytime, even though you knew I work nights in an attempt to disgrace and embarrass me, and get me fired. The secretaries told me about it. They said your calls were bizarre. You found out what floor I worked on and started calling over there. My co-ordinator at the time, C.Abrahms refused to take your calls. You finally got thru to the Associate Co-Ordinator, GWM and she asked you if your complaint had anything to do with my job performance. You said no. You wanted the hospital to know what kind of people they have working for them. GWM told you that she had known and worked with me for more than 20 years and was quite pleased with my job performance.

But don’t you remember you also had called my job way back in 1987 and spoke to my manager CM? She told me you told her all about our family history. Was it Carol’s business to know all that?

But getting back to the calls in 94 and 95: way to go psychosister! GWM not only worked me 1976-1980 as a staff nurse, and my co-manager in 94, but she was related to me. Her late neice was married to my brother-in-law. So your bizarre phone calls, which really led nowhere, was tampering with MY PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL REPUTATION.

But see, your calls went nowhere, because I do my job, and I do it well. I am not perfect, I have made mistakes, but I have always owned up to them. In the 37 years that I worked at the hospital, I have earned the respect of my co-workers and many of the supervisors. One, JZ, who used to work with me on the dayshift 1976-1980, happened to be a freind of one of the members of my belly dancing troupe, Troupe Arabesque. L. mentioned that one of the dancers worked at the hospital and when JZ heard my name, she said, “I remember Ruth, she was always a hard and concientous worker.” She didn’t have to say that. She could have just said, “Yeah, I remember Ruth. by the way, where are you dancing next?” No, she remembered me as a fine worker.

mmm, by the way, what WAS all that ruckus about between you and your boss when you used to work as a skip tracer? Pay attention to your own very limited career life Joan and stay out of mine.

And as for my personal reputation, the Pace family have known me for 22 years now. I have the freindship and support of someone who is local politics. I’m not naming names, because you’ll probably make a dam pest out of yourself.

And speaking of politics, when I met former Buffalo Mayor Masiello and he saw my name tag, he wondered where he heard my name from before! Thanks a lot my loving sister. He knew my name from the garbage letters you sent him. SO YOU TAMPERED WITH MY POLITICAL REPUTATION.  And at the time, I was involved heavily with the block clubs, and people in my neighborhood, and some of the Pace family were urging me to run for Common Council. Yeah, I can just see it. I’m in the Council Chambers, and here YOU would come and try to muck it up for me. I hate being your sister. Why? BECAUSE OF ALL THE GARBAGE YOU HAVE DONE TO ME AND ARE STILL DOING!

now go and sob and whine some more on your blog on how your sisters are ruining your personal and professional reputation. No WE haven’t. YOUR OWN WORDS AND DEEDS HAVE DONE IT.

Karma, baby, Karma, it’s terrible when it’s bad.

by the way, Joan, in your blog today, you say you have biological kin you still have relationships with. So what was it with your sisters? Why us? Why the hatred to us? What did we do to you for you to hate us and treat us like dirt the way you have? WHY?


You didn’t bother our brother. WHY US? AND WHY ME IN PARTICULAR? After I was the one who was closest to you? Took you in my home, respected you, supported your adoption reform research, was interviewed at Channel 2 studio with you, for an adoption reunion program run by reporter Rich Kellman, supported you with your plans for the book. Heck, wasn’t it even ME who suggested to you to write the book in the first place?


Why do you feel the need to PUNISH us for having had YOUR birth family all those years while you didn’t? This is what is going on, isn’t it? That is why you singled out Gail too, because of a chance meeting between you two when you guys were 10 years old. You said it yourself, “she knew me when we were children and kept the truth away from me.”

Sick. SICK. SICK. She was a 10 year old child, she didn’t know who you were! She bumped into you ONE time at an amusement park! She was told by her mother to not tell ME or my sisters. She never saw YOU again until you were adults and you were reunited into the family!

I’m right, aren’t I, your targets, my sisters, Gail and me, are being punished by you! Go get a psych consult and start on some meds! PLEASE!

reposting comments from my last post December 12, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I thought I’d put these here in case people don’t click on the comments button. These are the comments from my previous post
Love and Open Communication are not just words, they should be LIVED!
2. chayeletDecember 12, 2009 [Edit]

I’ve just had a thought-is this why Ms Wheeler doesn’t want The Three Sippel Sisters in her life and is so angry with us for persisting in reminding her that we do exist- it is not that WE have betrayed HER- it is clear that, all along, SHE was betraying US. And still betraying us.

Is the reason that we are not welcome in Ms Wheeler’s life the fact that she has a guilty conscience?

Is Ms Wheeler FINALLY realising, after all, that we have seen right through her fawning and pretence all along? I wonder.

With these thoughts, I think, it is time for me to bid a fond farewell to my readers, as I think, no, I KNOW I have made my point, but, just in case Ms Wheeler still does not get it-I, and my friends here in England, have seen right through the fawning-we’ve seen you for what you are, because you showed us, and we are far more intelligent than you give us credit for. I have nothing more to say on this episode in my family’s history-it is exactly that, history, from my point of view. If Ms Wheeler wants to think that I have in the past and am now conspiring against her, there is nothing more I can say or do to rectify that. If Ms Wheeler is still hurting over her adoption-it is my belief that she has the power to heal herself and it is a pity she chooses not to take responsibility for her own happiness. I have known many adoptees in my life, but not one who has had such a long self-pity party as this.

Lest readers think the Sippel Sisters are such monsters, I’m sure my two sisters join me in congratulating Ms Wheeler on the achievement of publishing her book-it is no mean feat.

However, it is clear to me, that my sister Ruth has suffered the most through the years at the hands of Ms Wheeler, and I support Ruth in her quest to get the truth out. I have reconciled myself with my past and am content with what I have achieved with my life. I am also looking forward to the rest of my life, however long that may be, and to achieving whatever else I am meant to achieve along the way.


3. RuthDecember 12, 2009 [Edit]

Very well put Chayelet.
Yes, it is indeed Ms. Wheeler, who is definitely hurting. She is suffering from PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. AND she is also suffering from a bad conscience. She WILL NOT come forth and debate the issues. She will not accept my challenges: to produce her evidence of the charges she keeps putting out: her so-called orders of protections she has against her sisters.
Other than that, she will not name SPECIFIC events in which her birth sisters have wronged her, except the phony child abuse call. She keeps telling people that we, her sisters are interfering with her life, but she refuses to say HOW we are doing so. And can she produce the evidence? NO, she cannot, because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE.
After reading my blog, instead of being woman enough and TRUTHFUL enough to list my grievances and address them in turn, and give us HER side of the story, she just acts like the little child she is and posts a very unprofessional rant on her blog. sobbing that we have destroyed her reputation.
Well, Joan, YOU have the chance to redeem yourself. Answer the charges I have put to you. Explain to the world why you have done all the things I have listed here in this post. And don’t try to weasel out of it. I have a boxful of papers, of evidence, only some of which I have scanned and posted for the world to see. Evidence of YOUR handwriting, Joan. Evidence of the court decrees. I still have the computer printouts of the email exchanges of early 2004, between you, me, and your live-in boyfreind Dennis. These will be posted. Nothing edited out, just some things for privacy sake, but YOUR OWN WORDS THAT YOU EMAILED ME JOAN WILL BE POSTED FOR ALL YOUR ADOPTION REFORM BUDDIES TO SEE.

Love and Open Communication are not just words, they should be LIVED! December 12, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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So the Teflon Dictator has written yet another essay on her blog on how people should live.
with cute little platitudes like “Step families can and do flourish with love and open communication and laughter.”
and “adding new biological kin…in no way destroys adopted family kinship.”
I can’t argue with that. These are very nice statements. I just wish Teflon Dictator would have applied these thoughts to her relationships with her birth sisters.
Love and open communication.

MMM, was there LOVE there Joan, when you stole the beads off my mother’s (and mine) wedding dress in 1983?

Was there LOVE there when you stole that money from me in 1990?

Was there OPEN COMMUNICATION when you needed money to fix the brakes on your car? Did you CALL ME ON THE PHONE AND ASK IF YOU COULD TAKE SOME OF THE MONEY SET ASIDE TO BUY AN APARTMENT BUILDING? NO, you did not. And you waited a full month to tell me, on the day we went to get the remaining money from the bank.
LOVE AND OPEN COMMUNICATION? I didn’t see either one of those when you encouraged my fiance to LIE to me behind my back.
LOVE? Was there love there when you encouraged him to leave me?

Was there LOVE when you involved my mother-in-law in our feud?
Was there LOVE AND OPEN COMMUNICATION when you called child abuse on yourself, posing as me, and reporting my fiance as molesting your daughter?
Was there LOVE when you either wrote a letter disguising your handwriting, signing it as your 10 year old son, or you told your son to write it, a letter meant for my fiance, but the envelope was addressed to me?
Was there LOVE when you called my job repeatedly trying to get me fired over something I didn’t do and after they told you I didn’t do it?
Was there LOVE there when you sent me a letter using your friend’s return address without her knowledge or permission?
Was there LOVE there when that letter told a lie: that my fiance got the next door lady pregnant?
Was there LOVE there when you called immigration to have our sister deported from the country she choose as her home?
Was there LOVE there when you refused to ship over her belongings that you had in your possession, and decided to keep them?
Was there LOVE there when you kept the money for yourself that she sent to you to cover the shipping charges?
Was there LOVE there when you meddled and interfered with our oldest sister’s family matters when her daughter wanted to run away from home? I told my niece to sit tight. Keep going to her counseling sessions. And when she was 16, if she felt that she absolutely needed to leave home, to discuss it with her counselor and ask to be emancipated. I TOLD you, NO STRANGERS to be brought into the family situation. But NO, Miss Know-it-all Joan, just HAD to talk to her boss, who called in child abuse and the whole thing blew up and my neice got stuck in a foster home.
Was there LOVE there when you made that phony child abuse call on yourself, you told people that I was not granted custody of my niece in 1982 because I was found “unfit.” WRONG! I was denied custody because the judge in Broome County felt that my brother-in-law was too antagonistic and the judge felt that my niece should be placed in a foster home that was considered “neutral territory.”
Was there LOVE there when you engineered that letter from either your son or you, to have me call you, and you set me up with the police?
Was there LOVE there when after you were granted a simple 6 month order of protection and the judge said that if everything went well it would be dismissed, and it was, but YOU go around telling people I was placed on probation (A LIE) and that I have a criminal record (another LIE)?

Gee Joan, you sure showed a lot of love now didn’t you?

Teflon Dictator Joan Wheeler goes on to talk about “…relatives (that) have not caused pain, and have not been involved in spreading rumors.”

JOAN: what pain have you caused ME? What rumors have you spread about ME?
Joan, the PAIN you caused me when you pulled me falsely into court. The PAIN you caused me when you stole from me. The PAIN you caused me when you tried to break me and John up. The PAIN you caused me when you verbally and emotionally abused me on November 3, 2009 when all I did was call you to tell you your godmother died. The RUMORS THAT YOU HAVE SPREAD ABOUT ME: that I have a criminal record, that I was placed on probation, that I called child abuse on you. The RUMORS that you have spread all over the internet since November 3, 2009, saying that your sisterS (plural) are interfering with your life. Why plural when it was only ME who called?
The PAIN and embarrassment I have had to endure just because I got the sad happenstance of being related to a hypocritical LIAR AND THIEF such as you! So now go and shove your stupid idiotic platitudes about LOVE AND OPEN COMMUNICATION up where the sun don’t shine.

additional comment here from Gert 3 Oct 2012.…at the time this post was posted, I was in the process of moving and didn’t have much opportunity to know the full story of the recently published lying book of Joan’s. Actually today is the first I’m seeing of this post and as co-admin with Ruth, I have the ability, now, to edit and add comments. This is a very good post, it shows just how raw our initial reactions were to finding out what Joan said. We have a lot to say and we will continue to say them UNTIL Joan removes all those hate-blogs against us.

Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? December 12, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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in my post evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1993 I posted a letter that was supposedly written by her 10 year old son to my fiance, but stuck in an envelope addressed to me.  The envelope was definitely in Joan’s handwriting. I no longer have the envelope, or I would scan and post it.

Anyway, I got to thinking, and I dug out a letter that she wrote to my sister in England. It was typed, but had a note written and printed in Joan’s hand. I got the funny feeling that it was NOT Joan’s 10 year old son who wrote this letter, but JOAN HERSELF. I cut Joan’s handwritten note from the typed letter she sent my sister, and glued it to the letter that her son supposedly wrote, and scanned it. This is what I have posted above. A lot of similarities don’t you think? the T’s, the A’s and the R’s and the E’s.  and very similar to the blacked out manilla envelope I recieved in 1998. So just who is sending letters to whom in the mail?


God have mercy on your soul Joan. In an attempt to break me and my fiance up, and to railroad me in court for annoyance phone calls — yes, she knew that I would call her up when I got this letter, and she said wait. She hung up. I thought we were disconnected. I called back. She hung up again. And a third time. She had called the phone company a couple of weeks earlier, complaining of annoyance phone calls, and had them install a trap on her line. She then engineered this letter so I would call her and she would “get” me making annoyance phone calls. She set me up! And posed as her own 10 year old son to do it!

Words cannot express how I feel. This person, who would stoop so low as to pose as her own 10 year old child, called child abuse on herself the following year, posing as me, and saying that my fiance molests her daughter. This woman is insane. She needs to be locked up! She is no Sippel. She is hell-spawn.

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1993 December 12, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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In my post titled evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998, I show scans of the manila envelope she sent me. I am now posting a scan of a letter that she sent me in June 1998. The envelope was addressed to me, Ruth Sippel, in Joan’s handwriting. But inside, with no explanation, was a letter written by her son, to my fiance. He says, “Dear John, I miss you. I don’t realy know what to say all that happeining is that I’m looking for a date for the dace. Love, Dennis.”

So. If Dennis didn’t really know to say to John, why was he writing to him? This was clearly JOAN WHEELER manipulating her own 10 year old son to writing a note that he must have believed that his mother would sent to John. Instead, she sent it to me. And this wasn’t the first time she did that. Just a few days earlier, I recieved a greeting card in the mail. Again, it was addressed to me, in Joan’s handwriting. But inside was a Father’s day card made out to John, and all the handwriting was in Joan’s handwriting. Her son and her daughter “suppposedly” signed the card, but it was in Joan’s handwriting. I had torn up and thrown it away immeditely, or else I would have scanned and posted it here. The only reason this letter is still around, is because it IS in my nephew’s handwriting, and we wanted to save it.

Now I ask you: what kind of mother manipulates her own 10 year old son, just to harass her birth sister?

I have also provide here the closeup of the handwriting on the blacked out manila envelope I received 5 years later in June 1998. Pay close attention to the following. The letter T in both Dennis’ letter and the return address are more like crosses. The R in the word dear in Dennis’ letter is almost the same as the letter R in New York.  The small letters E are an almost exact match. And the small A in the word all is identical as in the word Buffalo. My nephew was 10 years old when he wrote the letter and 16 when he wrote that return address. Nice mother Joan to involve your children in your harassment games.

evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998 December 12, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Here’s an envelope I recieved in the mail in June 1998. Inside was a bunch of junk from Joan Wheeler. I’ll get into that in a bit. But I want to discuss the envelope.  The envelope was addressed to me, with the same address appearing on the return address. This was Joan’s clever manipulation of the post office. So that if I would mark the envelope as return to sender, it would come right back to me. If you look at the postmark closeup, it was mailed from a post office branch in Tonawanda, NY. I do not live in Tonawanda. I live in Buffalo. Joan lives in Tonawanda. I saw this clever manipulation and the postmark, so I put a label on the main address, addressed it to Joan at her house and popped it into the mail box. You see the envelope how I got it the second time. Someone spent a lot of time and ink with a magic marker to black out the entire envelope. I have also provided a sample of my handwriting. I usually do not spell out Buffalo, New York.So I did it both ways, so you can see that I did not fill out a manila envelope and put my return address on it. And I did not go to a post office branch in  Tonawanda New York and pay the clerk 78 cents. In 1998, I did not have a car.

But this is indicitive of the sick games Joan Wheeler plays with her birth family. Call it sick, it is still abuse, emotional abuse of me, and harassment.

So inside this large manilla envelope was a bunch of garbage related to the mess that Joan involved me in the previous month. I recieved an envelope from Joan, cerified mail, addressed to me and my fiance. She had written on the bottom: important information. Inside was a letter addressed to me and my sister G.

The letter was about a guy I never met, who bumped into her ex-husband, who used to know my oldest sister, and trash-talked my oldest sister to Joan’s ex-husband. I had sent a letter to Joan to tell her that 1. just 3 years earlier, the district attorney had told both of us to not contact each other. 2. I have nothing to do with some guy I never met who bumps into Colby and trashtalks G. 3. Why was my fiance’s name on the envelope? He also was not involved with this strange man. 4. Again, why was my fiance’s name on the envelope if the letter inside was addressed to me and my sister. 5. Leave me alone.

In the meantime, my sister G. also wrote to Joan. To tell her 1. Leave her alone. 2. Ruth is not involved with some guy who used to live in the same city as her. 3. Leave her alone.

So getting back to the large blacked out envelope: Also included was another small envelope , and I’m darned if I can remember what was in it, but I know it came from that blacked out envelope – on the back of it was some of the ink that bled thru. This was addressed to Joan, with no return address, but it was mailed from a post office branch from zipcode 14217. Joan’s zipcode is 14223. These are in the north Buffalo suburbs of Kenmore/Tonawanda. I live way over on the east side by Cheektowaga. I don’t know if she was trying to send mail to herself to prove to people that I was doing it. Because I don’t live in the Ken/Ton area, and I didn’t have a car at the time. And it is not my handwriting on the envelope. Fun and games courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Teflon Dictator. ps, I’ve include a zipcode map showing that 14217 and zipcode 14223 are right next to each other: The Ken-Ton area, I don’t live any where near there.

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