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The Truth December 11, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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My father was NOT talked into relinquishing Joan under the duress of greiving for his wife.

My mother’s sister, who had just had HER baby, was talking with a childhood friend of hers. She said there was no one to properly take care of the infant. Her friend said that her brother and his wife were trying to adopt, would my aunt talk to my father? She did. My father consulted his priest to discuss it. He talked to a lawyer. He told me himself that he thought long and hard about it. AFTER MUCH SOUL SEARCHING HE DID AGREE THAT THE BEST THING FOR THE BABY WAS TO GIVE HER TO TWO PEOPLE WHO HAD THE TIME AND CAPABILITIES TO CARE FOR AN INFANT.

There were no daycare centers in 1956. My paternal grandparents were elderly, she worked 2 jobs, he was deaf, and one leg. My father had no siblings. My mothers siblings were all busy with babes and toddlers of their own. THERE WAS NO ONE TO CARE FOR THE BABY OR EVEN THE REST OF US.

No one spied on anyone. As my maternal aunt was a CHILDHOOD FRIEND OF THE SISTER OF JOAN’S ADOPTIVE FATHER, of course there would be some contact. Yes, when an adoption is taken place, the birth family must stay away. So, Joan was Aunt Catherine a regular visitor at your house? She was given one and only ONE photograph of you. Yes, she watched you from afar, THIS IS ONLY NATURAL DON’T YOU THINK? YOU WERE THE DAUGHTER OF HER DEAD SISTER.But she kept the privacy.

Her daughter, only a few weeks younger than you, told me that one time, and ONE time, she and her family went to Crystal Beach Amusement Park. COINCIDENTALLY, YOU were there with your family. This was not planned. So what happened? My aunt bumps into her childhood friend at an amusement park. They both have their kids with them. And YOU were there too, with your adoptive cousins. My cousin saw you, and you looked just like me. She told me she was confused, she was only 10 years old. Later, her mother told her who you were, and told her not to tell me or my sisters, AS THE ADOPTION DECREE STIPULATED. So yeah, you are right, that the adoption system had to make a liar out my 10 year old cousin. BUT you turn around and blame that same 10 year old for not telling you the truth. How was she supposed to? Her mother told her something, she obeys her mom.  She was 10 years old for crying out loud. She didn’t know your name or where you lived. How was she supposed to tell you the truth?

My aunt would not tell us anything about you. She also kept to the adoption decree. She relented years later when my now adult oldest sister got the information out of her. And this led us to finding you. Geez, I thought adoptees like it when information leading to them finding their birth families is given out.

So would you please, please tell the truth?

You keep on saying that adoptees should be told the truth. That YOU want the truth. But why don’t you in turn tell the truth?

As for your adoption being bad, so sorry about that.  So pick yourself up and make something of yourself despite your horrible crappy adoption. AND FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE STOP PUNISHING EVERYONE FOR YOUR CRAPPY ADOPTION.

I had nothing to do with it. Nor my sisters. Why then have you treated us like dirt from the early 1980’s? From meddling in our oldest sister’s family matters, to stealing beadwork off of my mother’s wedding dress, to calling immigration on our other sister to have her deported from her choice of country to live in, to starting a fight with our stepmothers best friend at our little brother’s First Holy Communion party, to stealing over $700.00 from me, to falsely accusing me almost every week of something, to calling my job trying to get me fired over something I had nothing to do with.

You wanted the truth. You got it here. But it seems YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

You want the truth. Yet from November 3, 2009, you have been on various internet sites spreading lies. Your birth sisters are interfering with your life.

Wrong it is NOT your sisterS plural, it was ME, and only ME who called you to tell you your Aunt Doris died. And tell the truth, what did you do? You were upset I called. All you had to do was say, “thank you. I don’t want to hear from you.” And you did just that. BUT then you launched into your ranting and raving, and subjected me to another round of verbal and emotional abuse. Yes, I made a mistake in judgement in calling you. I’m sorry for calling you. I was doing something nice for you. And what did I get? I got treated like dirt again.

Just because you got treated like dirt by other people, (and I wonder if that statement is true), doesn’t give you the right to turn around and treat me like dirt. Like you have done since the 80’s.

And the purpose of my blog is refute YOUR telling about YOUR adoption in your twisted way.

again, for the record: MY FATHER DID NOT GIVE UP HIS CHILD TO ADOPTION UNDER DURESS. THE CATHOLIC CHURCH DID NOT TALK HIM INTO IT. THE SISTER OF JOAN’S ADOPTIVE FATHER DID NOT TALK HIM INTO IT. MY MOTHER’S SISTER DID NOT TALK HIM INTO IT.

NOBODY SPIED ON JOAN WHILE SHE WAS GROWING UP. THERE WAS ONE CHANCE MEETING OF JOAN AND A BIRTH COUSIN AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK. THAT BIRTH COUSIN DID HAVE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WHEELER COUSINS BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. AND WHEN THEY WENT CAMPING TOGETHER AS CHILDREN, THE SUBJECT OF JOAN WAS NOT A TOPIC AROUND THE CAMPFIRE. Sorry to bust your bubble, but you simply were not that important!

And this is what my blog is about: my journal of the abuse that we have endured at the hands of Joan Wheeler. And Joan, if you don’t like what is written here, by all means, don’t read it.

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