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A Listing of Lies told by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family and elsewhere December 23, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Lies in the book Forbidden Family.

Question to Joan Wheeler, the author of Forbidden Family — whose permission did you get to use MY photo on the back of your book? You did NOT ask me to put out my picture in public on the back of YOUR book. As my likeness is portrayed on YOUR BOOK, I demand compensation from all sales. And I suspect my sisters will want compensation as well.  Now I can’t speak for them, but I do know you didn’t get their permission to use their likeness either. I talked to them this weekend.

And if you want to solicit free legal advice on the internet, again, TELL THE TRUTH. Jeez louise! Now the fictitous three month court battle took place in 1997!  Did you not say in your book that this fictitous three month court battle took place in 1994? Yes you did, on pages 329-330. And you lie in your book when you say you got a one year order of protection against me. Any lawyer you get will have to research your claims and any court records WILL be pulled up by the courts. The dockets numbers and the records are there for all time. And it will show that you obtained only ONE restraining order against me, in 1993, for the length of 6 months. And I was NOT sentanced to probation, like you keep telling all and sundry that I was. The courts themselves will back me up. Why are telling people on the internet (just answer.com) that you have multiple orders of protection against your sisters? mmmm? You NEVER got one against your oldest sister. You NEVER got one against the next one. And you only got ONE against me, in 1993.

Please, Joan, please, stop lying. You’re getting yourself all mixed up. Was the 3 month court battle in the summer of 1994 or 1997? How was it in the summer of 1994, over a child abuse call that didn’t occur until December 1994? Anyway, the 3 month court battle NEVER took place, in ANY year. Cut it out Joan. And you failed to mention why I called you on November 3, 2009. It was to inform you of a family member’s death. Geez, you whine in your book nobody bothered to call you about your godmother’s death, but when somebody DOES call you to tell you the woman you were named for died, you subject them to a bout of disgusting filthy verbal and emotional abuse. That’s why you’re all alone. And tell the lawyers how it was only ME who called, but you sit and blame my two sisters. The oldest one doesn’t even have a computer, so how is she doing anything to you? As for internet personal attacks, was it not YOU on December 7, 2009, who posted my name Ruth Sippel Pace on your website and named MY EMPLOYER? Just ‘cos you took it down, doesn’t mean it’s not hanging around in cyberspace. Just google Ruth Sippel Pace and there it is, third entry down. cached. (and I took screenshots of it anyway as proof of YOUR invasion of MY privacy and my sisters’). You will look veerrrry credible in court. Yeah, right! Joan, quit complaining about people doing exactly what YOU are doing! oh, darnit, that’s right. ONLY JOAN WHEELER CAN MAKE POSTS ON THE INTERNET AND NAME PEOPLE. NOBODY ELSE CAN DO IT. BECAUSE THE TEFLON DICTATOR TYRANT JOAN HAS DECREED IT.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You complain to just answer.com that I am using your name? Well, you used mine on YOUR website. I have not given out any personal information about you. You did it yourself. You decided to put pen to paper and tell the world all about yourself. I am only correcting the mistakes (lies) you wrote, when you started to telling lies about ME, MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY.  Since you have the freedom of speech to write about YOUR life, surely I have the same freedom of speech to write about MY life? You chose not to change all the names in your book. You used my cousin Gail’s real name. And you abused her memory. I have the right to defend her honor. You used the real name of MY godmother too. You tell hideous lies about your mentor Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. You claim he came to my house, and he never did and on page 276 and 277 give a fictitous account of me snarling in rage at you and him. Joan, where is this garbage coming from? As for your name being in the public eye, again, YOU did that yourself.  Since you drag me thru the mud in your book, make a mockery of my wanting to have a child and my miscarriage, by telling disgusting lies about me, I claim the right to defend myself and my dead son. As for any lawyer or judge they will see the emotional abuse I have suffered from you since 1985. Nay, from 1983, when you stole the beads off my mother’s wedding gown to put on yours. And then you called me on the phone and told me you were keeping them. Thank you kind sister. Let’s see about the emotional abuse you tried to cause when you sent me a letter in 1999 telling my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant in 1994. 1994 seems to be THE year for you. Like when you called my job repeatedly trying to get me fired? Won’t any lawyer like to hear that? and by the way, yeah, I DO live in the inner city, so do a lot of people. How dare you accuse me of  writing that disgusting fish mr. Clean note? It is not my handwriting. It looks like YOURS, the t’s, the a’s and the e’s are the same as yours. And yeah, I know a lot of cuss words, but so do a lot of people. And by the way, not everyone in the inner city swears. But then again, you come from a lily-white suburb. And I’ve heard you swear pretty raw yourself. oh, yes, didn’t you say in your book, you lived in the Broadway/Bailey section of Buffalo’s east side? on page 283 you say this. ummm, this is the inner city too. So what’s your point? Bah, you have none. And by the way, how did my now husband accompany you and your kids to Dufferin Islands and Beaver Island State Park 1984 – 1991? as you say on page 269. Nice stunt, considering in 1984, I was still with my first husband. HUSBAND, JOAN, HUSBAND.  Both Abdo and John were my husbands, not live-in boyfriend, because I was married to them by love. And by the way, Miss Political Correctness, the term is SIGNIFICANT OTHER, not live-in anything. For a “factual” book, it’s not very factual. You get dates wrong, terms wrong, events wrong, conversations wrong. And you have the nerve to use my picture on the back of this totally lying book!

Joan, you  had the opportunity to write a good book. You chose to use your book as an avenue to trash all the people in your life you have a beef against.

Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. — Dorothy Parker

God don’t like ugly, and Jesus don’t like liars. — unknown

Joan tells some horrible lies about court proceedings, a fictitious three month court battle with me and accuses me of calling child abuse on her. See the post:   Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler pages 316, 324, and 330 Clear evidence of lies

On my page a book of lies, (at top of page),  I briefly detail the following lies: Dr. Rene Hoksbergen visit to my home and I verbally abuse Joan in front of him. – this never happened. — She got a one year restraining order on my effective August 1, 1993 — no it was for six months, from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. It was for “annoyance calls.”  Joan, posing as her 10 year old son, sent a letter “written” by herself in an envelope addressed to me, knowing I’d call. When I did, she said “wait” and hung up, did this a few more times, then turned around and filed a false police report on me. — In 1993, she refused to ship over belongings of my sister in England, K. had to call my father for help in this matter. My stepsister, “Claire” in the book, took it upon herself to call Joan. According to Joan in one version (a letter to me in February 1995, she blames me for Claire’s call 18 months prior (August 93) , yet I had nothing to do with it.) In the book, the phone call takes place in February 93.

more lies to come



1. Sandra - December 30, 2009

Hi Ruth
You left a message on one of my blogs.
Although they are mainly about my ex-husband, I have an even more psychopathic lying brother (and other dysfunctional relatives whom I have now cut ties with).
I hate lies more than anything and if you do too, you may like one of my other blogs, “Liberty from Lies” (at http://libertyfromlies.blogspot.com/).
I think you have courage and integrity and I only wish there were more people prepared to stand up for justice and truth. Too many spineless morons out there unfortunately.
Best Wishes

Jesus said, “When he (the devil) lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” [John 8:44]o

2. Ruth - December 30, 2009

lol Sandra. – at your spineless morons comment!
Yeah, I do hate lies. I will definitetly be checking out your other blogs. Don’t know where I’ll find the time, but I will.

Happy New Year

3. joyjoy - December 30, 2009

I wish you peace

4. smarty58 - February 7, 2010

Why are you not suing the author of the book for defamation of character and for using your photographs? I would think the resolution in court would be more beneficial to you than venting on a blog.

As humans we all have our own perception of what took place, what was said, by whom, when, and the context in which they said it. The mind is a powerful thing when it comes to allowing us to “believe” the story we are telling ourselves.

My sister, (a pathological liar) has recently lied about me (again) my mother choose to believe her. I KNOW the truth and I do not feel I need to have to defend myself. If it comes to that and I have to prove it, the price my mother and sister will have to pay will be very high.

I do not communicate with my sister in anyway. I realized many many years ago that she is a very toxic and sick individual and I will no longer allow her to be part of my life.

I am irate that my mother has chosen to believe her, but this says far more about the two of them than it ever will about me.

I’ve had to learn to accept that my sister is a very sick sick individual and she needs psychological help. if my sister had the mental capacity to write a book, have it published etc filled with lies, invaded my privacy, or used my photograph, I would sue her in a court of law whereby the truth goes on record and onto the internet, right now it’s only “you said, she said”

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand how hurtful all this must be for you. Your words I can not hear, when your actions speak so loudly… meaning, SUE her.

5. Ruth - February 9, 2010

Well Smarty,
I would love to take Joan to court, and so would my sisters, but we are all spread all over the place. And there are other complications.
I agree with you say that we all different perceptions on things, and sometimes the memory can be faulty. But I am relying on my journal, and actual court documents from the 3 times that I and Joan had been in court agains each other, and relying and quoting actual letters written by Joan and sent to me, and various family members, and even actual letters written by Joan and sent to my employer, various elected officials and government agencies. I have also quoted Joan’s own words, not only from her letters, but from her book, her blog, and her own comments made to various internet discussion forums. And I have relied on my own good memories. No one can tell me that I have a faulty memory when I clearly remember babysitting for her year old son, and using a pair of scissors that I brought with me, cutting the ribbon of beadwork off Joan’s wedding dress. the ribbon of beadwork that she stole off my mother’s (and handed down to me) wedding dress. She had the dress in her possession for about 4 or 5 years. In her book, she says she had if for only 4 weeks. But she also said in her book, that she had a copy of the dress made for her own wedding, which took place in May 1983. But in her book, she says she returned the dress to me in 1979. Her seamstress did not rely on a photograph to make the copy.
Joan says in her book, she rely’s on her journals, but her journals themselves must be faulty.
And she is so inconsistant with her facts. For example, I have told the story of the phony child abuse call made about her, that I supposedly made. The call was made in December 1994. But in her book, she says it was 1993. I suppose that could be attributed to a slip-up of memory. but just a couple of months ago, she went to an internet advice forum and said the call was made in 1997.
Now, supposedly, this call was a very traumatic event. Because she claimed that she and I were engaged in a 3 month court battle because of this child abuse call.
THERE WAS NEVER A 3 MONTH COURT BATTLE. This is not something that can attributed to a faulty memory! this is blatant lies, thru and thru.
As for your statement that right now, it’s only “You said, she said,” Yes, to some degree it is. HOWEVER, I have been scanning and posting the actual letters that Joan has written, and actual court documents relating to the 3 times (1993, 1995, and 1999) that Joan and I were in court against each other.
I can back up most of my “claims” with written evidence. Joan cannot.
Also in a real court, it is not like it is on TV. The judge doesn’t have time to ask, “Wait a minute.” (Turns to defendant – “You sent her a letter saying her husband got the next door neighbor pregnant? What kind of sister are you?”
They just want to know the facts. Not any history of adoption, not any previous history of lies, the whole story of my brother-in-law’s taking my money and using it at the strip joint really happened, but I can’t prove it. How can I prove to you right here and now that I just had a cup of tea and 2 chocolate chip cookies? I can’t. But it’s the truth! If I can’t prove it in a court of law, what’s the point in me paying a lawyer? So I’m doing the next best thing.- putting it out for the internet to be the judge and jury.
I had no problem with Joan writing her book, but I read a working manuscript in 1997, and I knew then, it would be a bunch of crap. I made it clear then, that I was opposed to the lies. Since she had been “working” on this book since around 1980, I figured the stupid thing would never get published. Well, she scrapped together the 800 bucks to get it self-published, because she knew no reputable publisher would touch it. Outside of the lies, it’s a very hate-filled book. She trashes just everybody in her life that she ever had a disagreement with! She has nothing nice to say about anybody. She is very judgemental, very bigoted in many things.
And very inaccurate in many things. For example, when she writes about events in the mid 70s, she refers to me as “heavily dating” an Arab man. mmm, we were living together, so how were we dating? She was away at college when Abdo and I met, and moved in together after knowing each other only 1 month. (something I wouldn’t recomend, it worked for us, it might now work for everyone). She consistently calls him and my present husband my “boyfriends” when I always referred to them as my husbands. (my present co-habiter and I were legally married in 2002.)
She says that by 1992, I was completely immersed in the Arab culture. Abdo and I had broken up in 1985, and John and I were together in 1987. I continued my belly dancing, and had at the time many Arab friends (and still do), but in 1992, no, I was not heavily in the Arab culture.
and that is another reason for this blog – she has put erroneous details of MY life out in public. I am merely setting the record straight.

6. New harassment of Joan Wheeler to her birth family « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - June 22, 2010

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