Does Joan Wheeler have any thoughts of her own – follow up January 28, 2010Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
On January 27 and 28 2010, Joan copies and pastes other people’s blog posts onto her Forbidden Family blog. They are from Bastard Nation and Lori Colangelo, and are discussions about the efforts of the world to rescue and adopt orphaned children from Haiti. Joan does leave very short comments to these copied posts, both very short, and one is just a link to another adoption discussion site.
Joan says nothing about the very real tragedy that has befallen Haiti. NOTHING. All she does is whine about the Buffalo News reporting about a Buffalo attorney and his wife who are in the process of adopting a Haitian child. An adoption that was begun BEFORE the earthquake. All Joan has to say is go and on about semantics. That the Buffalo News calls them parents, when the adoption isn’t finalized yet. This is one of Joan’s problems. She gets stuck on terminology. Why once, back in 1985, after I had my miscarriage, she got bent out of shape because the medical terminology for a miscarriage is “spontaneous abortion.” Joan wanted to know if I was offended by my medical records read “spontaneous abortion.” I explained to her that the word abortion means a “stop” to something. From the word “abort.” Even NASA uses the word abort.
Popular culture has always taken a word and misused it to the point that the meaning of the word changes. For example, gay used to mean happy. Now it means homosexual. When a woman elects to stop her pregnancy, the medical terminology was always “elective abortion” of the fetus. Popular culture shortened it down to “abortion.” Now when people say the word “abortion” they automatically think of someone killing their fetus.
Joan may have a point, to a degree about terminology and semantics. But it seems that she stuck on it. All she can think of these days is getting labels right? That the attorney and his wife are not adoptive parents yet, but merely “prospective adoptive parents?” Has she no thoughts at all about the tragedy in Haiti? Did she even think to TRY to help out? I have shut-off notices from my gas and electric companies. I’m on payment arrangements for my water bill. My husband, a heart patient, (post open-heart bypass surgery, 2003) had a hernia operation this past July. He is 67. He is trying to stick it out and work til he’s 70 to get the highest Social Security payments he can. If he waits til then, he’ll get over $400. more per month, than if he retires now. So he takes it day by day. He works at a little job, paying just over minimum wage. His income will DOUBLE when he retires in 3 /2 years. We’re trying to hold on to then. — So, even with our financial problems, after the earthquake, we had only $20.00 in our checking account. We donated it, via Wegmans, to help out Haiti. I also donated blood.
I wonder if ANY of these adopted reform people who keep screaming bloody murder over people wanting to adopt children orphaned by natural disasters helped out in ANY way?
This blog is supposed to be about me finding lies made by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family or on her blog, and telling the truth about said lie. I purposely have kept my mouth shut about my views on adoption, except when it was relevant to statements that Joan has said about me, or if it was relevant to my history or my family’s history. But I’m going to say my piece about rescuing and adopting children that are orphaned through natural disasters.
WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH THESE LITTLE INNOCENT VICTIMS??
Like the NAMELESS children? Those whose whole families were killed by the earthquake? Like the infant who was rescued alive from his dead mother’s arms? They don’t know who this baby is, what is name is, what his family’s whereabouts are. Does he even have any more family that is alive? What should we do with him. Call him Baby John Doe and stick him in an orphanage – an instution for the next 18 years?
Let me tell you something – I was in the Immaculate Heart of Mary Children’s Home for one year, 1959 – 1960. It was run by the Felician Nuns. It was an okay place. We had a roof over our heads, hot meals, clothes, schooling. We had medical and dental care on site, a priest and a chapel so we had all the services of a real Catholic Church. We had dance and music lessons. There was a gym. No swimming pool. An outdoor playground – swings, etc. An indoor playroom, library. We even had a small movie theatre. We saw FIRST RUN – The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad at our theatre! I still remember the Halloween party we had, and the outing to the AMA’s store at the Thruway Plaza to see Santa Claus. And we did go see the Ice Capades and the Ringling Brothers Circus at Memorial Auditorium.
But did we have home-cooked meals? Someone to tuck us into bed and sing lulabyes to us? A kiss and a hug when we did good in school? A kiss and a hug when we tripped and fell down and scraped our knees?
Our food was adequate, but boring. Oatmeal every single morning. To this day, I will NOT eat oatmeal. Neither will my husband. He spent 5 years in the German-Catholic Orphan Home, in the late 40’s. This was also run by the Catholic nuns. They must have gotten bulk rates for oatmeal. Boring breakfast. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Oatmeal.
No scrambled eggs. No fried eggs, over easy. Not even Cheerios, Corn Flakes, so you could forget about Sugar Smacks, Fruit Loops, Lucky Charms. And to tell you the truth, I don’t even remember what they gave us for lunch and dinner. I do remember the awful Cod Liver Oil. The old-timers knew their stuff – it was “good for what ail’s ya!” “Keeps away colds and flu!” Today, it is marketed as “fish oil” in palatable soft gels. It is high in Omega 3 oil. (very heart healthy). I get mine from Vitamin World; it is easily digested, very rarely do I get a “fish-burp.”
I was in the orphanage for only one year, until my stepmother got out of the psych center, and my dad recovered from his broken leg from a car accident. But there were kids there who had no one to take them “home.” Their home was the orphanage. Imagine having a bunch of nuns to be your mom. And yeah, we did go see the Ice Capades and the Circus, but where is the mommy to take you shopping? Even a little jaunt to the local Wal-Mart? How about the dad to take you to the zoo? or a ballgame? How about participating in bake sales for you school class. A mommy to help you make those cupcakes in the first place? A mommy you can make Mother’s Day cards for and give? AND Father’s Day cards. How about your very own Christmas Tree in your very own living room? with multiple presents with YOUR name on it, not just ONE generic wrapped box with no name on it. maybe someone forgot to take the “girl” or “boy” tag off, so a girl wouldn’t get stuck with a truck or a boy with a doll. Yeah, it sure was interesting to see all 20 plus of us girls opening up the boxes to find —- the very same doll in each box.
My dormintory was interesting. There was one long hall, with lots of beds. I was in a small room on the side, 4 beds. Plain beds. With one little nightstand. Lockers for our clothes. No four poster princess beds for us. No pink Barbie bedspreads for us. No SquareBob SpongePants, Star Wars, Mickey Mouse or race car bedsets for us. No posters of the latest teen idol for us.
When we got sick, we went to the infirmary. A little hospital. The girl’s wing had about 10 beds in it. When we got sick, we got stuck there. So as not to infect the general populace. When we puked, a nun cleaned it and us up. But nobody to hold us while we cried with a horrible sore throat. Or a bad earache. We got our eardrops, and sent back to bed, to cry ourselves back to sleep.
So this is what Joan and all the other anti-adoption people want for little kids who got no real mommies and daddies. I lived it for a year. It was hell. I was taken care of. All my physical and educational needs were met. I made some friends there. We even had some fun there. But make no mistake: IT WAS HELL!
January 29, 2010, 8:21am. — I just now, reading over this, had a memory flash. ok, I was 7 years old, 2nd grade when I was in the orphanage. I don’t remember the exact calendar day I went there, or being brought there. But I do remember, and this had to have happened the first day – MY HAIR BEING CUT OFF!
I was 7 years old, my hair was never cut in my life! Except for trimming my bangs, my hair was so long, my braids went past my butt. But because I was in an institution, and probably for State-regulated health codes to prevent lice infection, my hair was cut off. (no, I didn’t get a buzz cut, I was left with a shorty-do). And they shampooed me with lice shampoo. I didn’t know it was lice shampoo at the time, all I know is that it stung. I was a little tomboy, the stinging didn’t bother me. It was having my hair cut off that bothered me.
When I was 5 years old, me and my sisters and brothers went to appear on the Uncle Jerry’s Club, a local kid’s TV variety talent show. It was set up like a little Las Vegas show room. Tables for the audience, stage for the show. The audience was the kids who were not performing. We had cookies and milk or pop. And we watched the show. Uncle Jerry (I’m not sure what his real name was) would come thru the audience and “interview” some of us kids. And I got interviewed. My hair was not braided, but flowing loose down my back and Uncle Jerry stopped and complimented me on my hair. I told him, on camera (live TV) that my grandma fixed my hair for the show. I loved my hair. And it had to be cut short. My sister Kathy was livid when she saw that they cut my hair.
So Joan, and all you anti-adoption people, who want to keep little kids in institutions, you bitch and moan about how YOUR rights were taken away when you were adopted. You think leaving kids in an orphanage would be better. IT’S NOT! WHERE WERE MY RIGHTS TO HAVE LONG HAIR? And anyways, when you’re a kid, whether you live with your natural parents, foster parents, in an orphanage, or with adopted parents, the bottom line: YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH OF A SAY IN HOW YOU ARE BROUGHT UP! You are told when to get up, your breakfast is served, you don’t have a choice when you’re 5 years old as to what school you go to. In fact, if you live in a city, you never do: the school district tells you what school you attend. And that is determined where you live. Kids don’t have say in where they live. Their parents or guardians do. I could go on and on, but I think you get my point.
UNTIL YOU ARE AN ADULT, YOUR LIFE IS NOT YOUR OWN. DECISIONS ARE MADE FOR AND ABOUT YOU AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE. So Joan, get over it. So people made decisions for you when you were three months old. Yeah, nobody asked you. Like you could say yes or no? You couldn’t even talk then you idiot. Nobody asked ME my opinion about my life when I was 3 months old!!! Decisions were made for me until I was 18 and moved out on my own. I got a job. I have been working ever since. I have been in charge of my life since then. Before that, my father was in charge. That’s how life is Joan. YOU had control over YOUR kids, so where were THEIR rights? mmmm?
Things happen in EVERY kid’s life that they are not happy about it. Then they grow up and move on. MOVE ON JOAN! This shit all happened more than 50 years ago!!!!
Does Joan Wheeler have any thoughts of her own ? January 28, 2010Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality.
Does Joan Wheeler have any thoughts of her own – except to put down her “stupid” family? Yes, that’s what she called us on her blog. Stupid. Thank you dear sister. Hey Joan, remember that letter you sent me in 1997 for the 25th anniversary of our reunion? Where you wrote the following: “For some reason, you don’t like me.” roflmao! Why should I like someone who calls me stupid? At the time, (1997) I wasn’t liking you because of your stealing from me, lying about me, trying to break me and my then fiance (now husband) up, calling my place of employment for months trying to get me fired and for sending me a lying letter telling me my man got the next door neighbor pregnant. lol. I still don’t like you.
Guest Post by Kathy Inglis January 25, 2010Posted by Ruth in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, contradictions, Disrespect, emotional abuse, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, theft
(Joan Wheeler writes) ‘As author of FF I don’t have any words these days…’
That’s cos she can’t, or won’t, think for herself, so all she does these days is copy other people’s words about Haitian orphans-at least she credits THEM. Are we supposed to think the reason words fail her is she is genuinely affected by the scale of human tragedy in Haiti-a tragedy which encompasses the ENTIRE Haitian population, not only prospective adoptees? Perhaps if JW were to use her OWN words to express genuine empathy for the Haitian people as a whole, rather than, as always, use other people’s thoughts and ideas to promote her own agenda, she would redeem what little is left of her ‘professional and personal credibility’. Or are her OWN words reserved for attacking and lying about her own birth family? Just a thought, and my opinion. But I wouldn’t want JW to think I’m attacking her.
Yes, I am well aware of Joan’s inability to think for herself. I have noticed several key phrases taken from me and my blog, (and cleverly changed the spelling of a mild oath I like to use), key phrases from our eldest sister Gert’s open letter to Joan, key phrases from Chayelet’s blog too!
A lot of Joan’s rhetoric seems to also have been lifted from a certain adoption reform site, whose owner is a tad on the radical side. Joan paraphrases this person, and even uses several key phrases of that person. I noticed recently that links to Joan’s blog has been removed from that site. Are people finally getting to see the “real” Joan Wheeler? The one that her adoptive and natural families have known for years? The sneaky, lying, thieving, abusive real Joan Wheeler.
A snake always sheds it’s skin, to reveal it’s true hidden identity.
reposting a couple of things January 18, 2010Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
At the beginning of December, 2009, I was thinking of moving this blog to another site, and started doing some restructuring here. I have since decided to leave this blog here and will repost all that I took down. First, on my page “our family history of adoption” I have reposted that history. I have also reposted the post “We Remember Our Baby Sister Doris.”
We Remember Our Baby Sister Doris January 18, 2010Posted by Ruth in Our Family History.
Tags: adoption, adoption reunion, false accusations, Lies
On my page “Our Family History of Adoption,” I tell the story of my mother’s death, my baby sister Doris’ relinquishment to adoption, my father’s remarriage, and our hard growing up. While we growing up, because of my oldest sister’s G.’s remembering of our baby sister, the rest of us kids always knew that we had a baby sister somewhere “out there.” Every January, G. would buy a doll and give it to my father, so he could give it to Doris for her birthday. She doesn’t remember exactly how many years she did this, but by the time she was 16, she had stopped.
When I was around 11 years old in the foster home, I received a new prayer book. This prayer book had printed on it’s inside back cover, a special page. There was a small prayer on top and a blank lines going down the page in a list form. This was where you wrote the name of a person that you wanted to say special prayers for. I had written on my list, assassinated American President John F. Kennedy, the first (and so far, only), Roman Catholic US President. President Kennedy was a big hero for American Catholics. My grandmother had a picture of him hanging up in her kitchen. Black folks have a picture of Martin Luther King on their walls, for Catholics, their hero was Kennedy. He was bigger than John Wayne “The Duke.” When Kennedy was killed, the nuns in my school were all crying. School was let out early. We were sent home. Some smart aleck kid asked Sister what homework should we do. She tearfully said, “Say a rosary for President Kennedy and a rosary for the First Lady.” I also had on my prayer list, Pope John the 23rd, who had died in June 1963, a few months before President Kennedy. I can’t remember all the names on my list, I probably had my father there. But I do know, that on the top of my list, I had written “Doris.” Then I drew a line from the end of her name, leading down to a space at the bottom of the page. I ended that line with an arrowhead, pointing to a phrase I had written. “So Daddy can adopt her back.”
Now if you read my post “Our Family History,” you have read how it was my mother’s sister Catherine and her childhood friend Helen (sister of Doris/Joan’s adoptive father), brought about the idea of Doris/Joan getting adopted. Because of the friendship between these two women, a picture of Joan, when she made her First Holy Communion was given to my Aunt Catherine. Joan says there was a conspiracy of lies and spying on her between the Wheelers and her birth family, and pictures of her were exchanged. There was one picture and ONLY one picture given to her birth family. But here is another example of Joan’s exaggerations and twisting of the truth. Anyway, growing up, my sisters and I would go over to Aunt Catherine’s house and in going thru her boxes of family photos, we saw this picture. In the picture, Joan looks remarkably like my oldest sister G. G. said she knew it wasn’t her, her hair was darker than Joan’s. She says she always suspected it was our lost little sister Doris. For myself, I was so dumb, that I would think it was G.
Now as I said, we never forgot our little sister. Particularly G. She kept questioning Aunt Catherine and finally got some information out of her. Sometime in the summer of 1972, I got a phone call from G. She was at her job at a downtown Buffalo dentist’s office. (Brisbane Building). It was a Tuesday, the dentist did not have patients in on Tuesdays, (and he himself wasn’t there), but the workers had to come in and do paperwork. I went downtown and to the office. Gert told me that the evening before, she had finally gotten out of Aunt Catherine, our little sister Doris’ adopted name. It was Joan Wheeler. But Aunt Catherine refused to give G. an address or any other information. G. asked me “how are we going to find her without her parents name?” I thought about it, and asked if there was a phone book around. I opened it up and went to the Wheeler listings. There were a lot of Wheelers. I asked G. if I could use the phone to make some phone calls. As the other woman working in the office was on her lunch break, and we were alone, G. told me to go ahead. I planned to make as many calls as I could while in the office, calling all the Wheelers listed in the phone book until I got to one that had a Joan living there. I hadn’t watched mystery movies without learning something.
I started making my calls. Those that had someone home told me I had the wrong number when I asked for Joan. When I got to the first names starting with E, I hit the jackpot. A girl answered the phone. I froze. I knew immediately I hit the motherlode. She sounded exactly like my second oldest sister K. But I had to be sure. I asked for Joan. She said “speaking.” “Joan, this is (I gave a fake name). Where were you at bowling last night? We figured you couldn’t get a babysitter so we just started without you.” The girl said, “what number did you want?” I repeated her number, but changed one of the digits. She said, “oh. No, you got the wrong number.” I apologized and hung up. G. who had heard all this was looking at me. I told her, “That’s her. She sounds exactly like K.” We wrote down the name and address listed in the phone call. Now we knew where our little sister was, and what her new name was. We knew we couldn’t do anything as she was under the age of 18. So we waited.
In early 1974, I was living back at my dad’s house, after 3 years of having my own apartment. In 1970, my father had met a nice woman and they got married in October 1970. She had two girls, aged 10 and 4, and the following year, they had a baby boy. In 1973, my stepmother wanted to go back to work. So I moved back home. I was working the night shift at my job (where I still am). My stepmother worked 3pm – 11pm. And my Dad still had his job at City Hall, but he was no longer working at Sears. With me moving back home, there was an adult present at all times to watch the girls and our baby brother. One day, G. and my older brother Butch came into my bedroom and woke me up. They told me that Doris/Joan’s 18th birthday had just passed. Should we contact her? It was unananimous. We would. We knew we couldn’t tell Dad. We didn’t know much about legal matters in adoption. But we knew enough to know that Dad couldn’t contact her. Now we just had to decide which one of us should contact Joan. I told G. and Butch that it should be G., because she was the oldest. And so she did.
Now I need to make some refutations about a couple of Joan Wheeler’s statements. After all, that is the purpose of this blog. In several of Joan’s writings, she says she was given up for adoption because she was “unwanted.” This is a lie. My father always wanted her. Her siblings, ME AND MY SISTERS AND BROTHER WANTED HER. Several other times Joan Wheeler has said that we, her sisters blame her for our mother’s death. HOW COULD WE BLAME HER FOR OUR MOTHER’S DEATH WHEN WE KNEW IT WAS CANCER THAT KILLED OUR MOTHER? And if we blamed her for our mother’s death, WHY DID WE ALWAYS REMEMBER HER? WHY WOULD G. TRY TO SEND HER DOLLS FOR HER BIRTHDAY IF WE BLAMED HER FOR OUR MOTHER’S DEATH? WHY WOULD I HAVE WRITTEN HER NAME IN MY PRAYER BOOK FOR PRAYERS AND WRITE “SO DADDY COULD ADOPT HER BACK?” WHY WOULD G. QUESTION OUR AUNT FOR INFORMATION LEADING US TO HER IF WE BLAMED HER FOR OUR MOTHER’S DEATH? WHY WOULD I GO THRU THE PHONE BOOK TO TRACK HER DOWN IF I BLAMED HER FOR MY MOTHER’S DEATH? WHY WOULD WE MAKE PLANS TO CALL HER AND GET HER BACK INTO OUR LIVES IF WE BLAMED HER FOR OUR MOTHER’S DEATH? But this is what Joan does. She lies. She has gotten herself in trouble with each and everyone of us. And instead of owning up to her contributions to our estrangement with her, she makes up stories to cover her own ass. And then she tells everyone what dysfunctional people her birth siblings are. On page 8 of her book Forbidden Family, she relates HER version of the phone call I made to her. She changes the facts. She says she got the call in the evening. WRONG! IT WAS AROUND ONE O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON. She says the caller was obviously drunk. WRONG! I WAS NOT DRINKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON. She says the call ended with stupid laughter. WRONG! WHEN I CHANGED THE DIGITS OF HER PHONE NUMBER, AND SHE TOLD ME I HAD THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER, I APOLOGIZED AND HUNG UP. This was a serious attempt to find my lost baby sister. I was calling all the Wheelers in the phone book to find my lost baby sister. I would not be doing this thing while drunk and ending such a serious call with stupid laughter. This labeling of me as “drunk” is another of Joan’s attempts to smear my character. I first read this lie in a 1997 manuscript of her book. And it was at the height of her troublemaking against me. And as I said before, she will not own up to HER contributions to her birth siblings not wanting her in their lives. She will not accept responsiblity for her own actions, so to cover her own ass, she will tell people how important she is, how educated she is, how smart she is. And then spread lies about her birth siblings, like they are dysfunctional, they are drunks, they are jealous of her, they blame her for their mother’s death and blah blah blah.
So I ask you blog readers, those who know Joan, those of you in the adoption reform community, what nice things has she said about her birth siblings? I bet she has filled all your heads with horror stories of how evil and jealous we are. How empty our lives are. And that we hate her and hate her children. ALL LIES AND MISCONCEPTIONS FROM JOAN WHEELER, WHO CONSTANTLY GIVES OUT HER TWISTED VERSION OF THINGS. But didn’t she herself just leave comments on that recent story (November 2009) on ABC News.com about adoption that the reporter twisted her words, and she always had problems with reporters giving their twisted version of what she had said. But this is exactly what Joan does. I have told you about the phone call I made to find her. IT WAS IN THE AFTERNOON, AND I WAS NOT DRUNK, I DID NOT END THE CALL WITH STUPID LAUGHING. I swear to you blog readers on the soul of my son, who I miscarried in June 1985, that I have told you the truth about that phone call. But Joan wants you to read a twisted version of what happened: HER TWISTED VERSION. HER LIE OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. In fact, a couple of years ago, someone close to Joan told me that she (Joan) “…is crafty at twisting words.”
Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen
I am one of the “three Sippel sisters” as Joan calls myself and our other two sisters. We also have a deceased brother. I find it interesting that even though she professes to be a “Sippel” by birth she does not consider her self a “Sippel Sister.” Why is that?
This is to set the record straight about how I have NOT harassed her but about WHAT she has done to my family and myself. I have no secrets, if she thinks there is any pleas, by all means, she should bring them out in the open for Joan shall not blackmail me. She shall not hold me hostage to her emotional imbalance or her distortion of events or her omission of her own transgressions that she did perpetrate to myself and my families, those that I have come from, those I married into and those I gave birth to.
By choice I do not have email and am not connected to the net, that is why I’ve asked Ruth to scan and post this for me. Since Joan posted, without my permission, “all” of my last names and teh city where I live its not difficult for anyone to find me. I’m listed in the phone book, if anyone, out there, is truly interested in knowing more details about Joan’s adoption and reunion, from someone who who actually does remember her as an infanct and who brought about the initial reunion and who has suffred from her meddling interference or wants to know how she really is, feel free to phone me, I have nothing to hide. For I shall not be blackmailed and held hostage! Again it is interesting to note that Joan has no problem in telling the world her family’s names and where they live but I do not know where she lives nor her phone number. If I did know her address and phone I have forgotten them over the years and don’t care to know them or her now. True fact – I have seen and spoken with Joan only three, count them 3, times in the past 27 years. Did you get that? In 27 years I have only had 3 contacts with Joan. I’m really slacking in my harassing her so this is my fourth contract to her.
And yet had the audacity, a couple of months ago, to call her town of Tonawanda NY Police Department (did you get that) to tell them that her sisters, whom she named, where harassing her and telling the police to phone one of them with the trhreat of court action of harassment if they did not leave her alone. Excuse me! And then in recent posts to her internet accounts she wonders why “Gert has backed off…and was only fishing for information a couple of years ago when she asked for her stepmother to phone Joan.” Excuse me! What was I backing off from? Haven’t talked to her in years and that last phone call, can’t even remember the date, sometime 2004, or 05, or 06, was yet another attempt, on my part, to recocile with her. It’s called peace making, settling karma, forgiveness, burying the hatchet, what ever you like but certainly not fishing for information or harassment. But like everything else, Joan is incapable of understanding the other guy and/or minding her own business.
Why, you ask, is it that if it is my choice not to have, nor to want, contract with Joan that I should give a damn about what she has to say? Because she should be ashamed of her self for things she is saying and doing today and others should not be conned nor used by her. She has written the book, well people also need to hear the other side of the story.
Does she forget why I divorced her? Yes, that’s right, I divorced her, by my personal decree, that it is only an accident of birth (the work of the Wyrd Sisters or the Fates) that we both have the same blood parents and, in my opinion, that divorce is still in effect because of her inability to reconcile with me about what she has done to me and my family and her continued hatred for me and our other sisters. If anyone is unfamiliar with the Wyrd Sisters check your European and Classical mythologies.
A synopsis: I have 2 children from a first marriage, remarried in 1980 and my second husband wanted to adopt my children who were young teenagers. Because of their ages they had to give their permission to be adopted. My daughter was going through the usual teenage “identity crisis,” did not want to be adopted; she also was having issues with her natural father and it was deemed best that she not be adopted. None-the-less she was treated as if she was by her stepfather. During this time period I was paying $s for professional counseling as any family would to gain tools to keep the family together.
During the adoption procedures we had to go through many examinations by the adoption authorities and were found fit for adopting my son. Joan in her adoption zeal became abusive towards me because of the first two pieces of paper I had to sign for adopting my own son. On the first paper I signed, I, the birth mother relinquished my parental rights for said child. On the second paper I signed, I, the birth mother became the foster mother of said child. On the third I signed, I, the birth/foster mother became the adopted mother of said child. The said child was 16 years old and never left my home or heart! But Joan argued with me to the point of calling me an unfit mother and I had to kick her out of my home.
Then Joan, with another sister of mine, whom BTW has long ago, made amends, apologized to me for her involvement and whom I have forgiven, began interfering in my and my husband’s parental authority with my minor children. Joan told my 14-year-old daughter that she did not have to listen to her mother, that it was okay for to have a mixed racial sexual relationship, against my parental authority and encouraged my daughter to run away and lied to family and police about my daughter’s whereabouts. When we found my daughter, she said she was abused and raped. My husband and I were labeled child abusers and rapists and put on the NY State Child Abuse List. My child was taken from me. Then they sued me for custody of my chold. I asked for a home study to be done on both my sisters and they were found to be unsuitable to have a 14 year old in their custody.
I had to endure a year of investigations and an 8-hour hearing that produced a 16-page document that proved our innocence saying that everything my husband and I did was to protect my minor child from harming herself. But the damage was done. I placed my daughter in foster care and gave her legal freedom at age 17. My family was destroyed. My marriage broke up; no one in the family could believe that such a thing could happen. My son and daughter’s relationship has never been the same and my daughter has been estranged from many family members for decades. This is why I divorced Joan and left the city of Buffalo NY in 1982.
Ten years later, in 1992, our brother came home for a visit and there was an opportunity, I thought, to reconcile with Joan, put it behind us and move on. During the visit I shared with my sisters my finding of and involvement in a reawakening movement of Northwestern European ancestral folk religion and in particular Anglo-Saxon Theodish Belief. I had explained all this to our father a couple of years before. He asked me if I was happy in my choice of religious expression and when I said yes he said that is all that matters. But to Joan my religion was wrong. Unbeknown to me she went to our father’s home and complaining to him that there was “something wrong with Gert’s mental health because of the religion she is into.” Our father kicked her out of his home. When I heard about that I said okay she and I were still divorced.
I was very much involved in the devolpment of Theodish Belief, from 1990 until I retired in 2000, including publishing a full-scale international magazine 4 times a year for 7 years, writing several booklets of my own, editing and publishing the works of several authors and am still considered one of the prime leaders of the whole Heathen movement. You can find my and others’ works on the net.
Interestingly, our brother knew and loved our ancestral Old Gods and Goddesses long before I did and when he died I wrote and circulated among many of the leaders who knew us both a “memory boast.” There’s a Heathen verse that says:
Cattle die, kinsmen die, you too shall die, and the only thing that remains is your reputation.
Think about it!
I didn’t speak with Joan for another 10 or 15 years, can’t remember when it was 2004, 05, 06, doesn’t matter, but I was at our father’s home in Buffalo, and again I thought perhaps Joan would be willing to have a decent conversation that could lead to reconciliation. I thought it was important to settle the karma while one can, none of us is getting any younger. I asked if someone would place the call to her, I never had the number, Joan and I had a nice conversation and she told me was a Unitarian Universalist. She knew that I had given some lectures at the Watertown Church. Don’t remember much more of that conversation thinking that is all I could do. That was the third and last time I spoke with Joan.
But seeing some of her commments recently on the web, I wonder if she really understands anything. She really ought to read and understand the Unitarian Univeralist mission statement. They recognize the worth of every individual’s choice of expression in the divine. Joan does not adhere to that because she is a bigot. She condemns my religious expression. Why? I have for decades studied and practiced many religious traditions to learn from them. I wonder, is there a relgion that I should be practicing that Joan would approve of?
Since that last conversation I had with Joan, our father has told me that over recent years Joan had helped him with rides to doctors and such. About a year or so ago he told me that Joan started to complain to him that he doesn’t help her with gas money and thinks of her as a taxi and that her car needs repairs and he ought to give her money to fix it. he gave her some “taxi” money, told her he doesn’t need her services, the car is her responsibility to fix, that if she doesn’t have money she should get a job and that it is best that they don’t “see” each other. Joan currently has been writing that her natural father, my father, is dying. He’s dying the same as all of us are. He is not on the deathbed.
Joan ought to be ashamedof her self for misrepresenting our father and his condition.
Joan ought to be ashamed of her self for the way she talks about her adoptive family and in particular her adoptive mother who probably really is on the deathbed.
Joan ought to learn about death and dying. The one thing elderly and the dying don’t need is stress, arguments, being forced to account for their decisions in their lives or have other unsavory conditions placed upon them. Joan is doing much damage here. Shame on you Joan.
Joan is doing soul damage to those who have passed on; like not honoring our mother and her memory and to those that are aging like our father and those that are in the final end of days of their life like her adoptive mother. Shame on you Joan. I work with Hospice. I tend to those that are dying and know what I say here.
Joan is a soul vampire she sucks the energy out of people and eats their souls. You think I jest? Ask anyone in her families, birth or adoption, and they will tell you all kinds of horrors they have suffered. Shame on you Joan.
I can forgive Joan for what she did to my family but only if she can forgive herself is she stops her hatred for others and me. The one thing that forgiveness doesn’t mean is to forget. I shall never forget what she did and therefore shall never trust her again and true to her nature she is still falsely accusing me of things and misrepresenting other situations. There’s a great wisdom: one cannot have a conversation, or a constructive argument, with a drunk or a mentally disturbed person.
Joan get some help and humility before it is too late. Another Heathen wisdom: You Are Your Deeds!
Your sister, Gert
happy birthday, not January 7, 2010Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality.
so here I am, on my lunch break. ON MY PERSONAL LAPTOP my little Acer Aspire One Netbook. Bonnie brought in blueberry muffins. Laura brought in some chicken soup. And I just finished my third cup of coffee. After this, and I send off an email, I’m gonna put my feet up, go to my music file. I might listen to Bliss by David Young, It’s always a nice album to listen to while I take a quick snooze.Andreas Vollenweider is also good to listen to.
Next weekend I need to go to Borders to get my monthly fix of sci-fi and Witchy/Pagan magazines. John’s Heavy Metal mag should be out too. While I’m there, I’ll sit at Border’s Cafe and get a cappucino and drag out my Acer. Hook it up to Border’s complimentary wireless internet. I might troll on over to The Nameless One’s blog. The IP address will show up as coming from Borders. lol. Do you think she will accuse me of hacking into Borders computers to troll her site. Darn right she will. Her day is not complete unless she accuses me of something. sad, very sad. that her life is made up of little vignettes of Ruth’s bad behaviour.
I think she’s gone senile in her old age. lol
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
laughing at the stupidity of some people.
The Three Sippel Sisters as named in the book – just for fun. January 4, 2010Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality.
Joan names her three birth sisters, The Three Sippel Sisters, Irma, Edith, and Brenda in her book. These names are unfamiliar to us. I have come up with some characters with whom we can identify with.
This is Edith Sidebottom, (aka former Liverpudlian Michael Hurst) who appeared in 3 episodes of Hercules the Legendary Journeys as The Widow Twanky. The Widow Twanky is an accomplished dance teacher, choreographer and charm school mistress.
for more information on this amazing woman and her alter-ego the Widow Twanky go to : http://www.michaelhurstnow.com/con2009LA.html
to see this marvelous woman in action, you can see the video “Widow Twanky’s Song” on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuB8gebM0p0 from there you can see other Widow Twanky videos. Be sure to check out the Widow Twanky’s Dance Training video, where she tutors Hercules and Altheia. There’s even Herc’s and Altheia’s performance in the Dance Competition.
Joan names me Brenda in her book. Thank you Joan! One of my childhood heroines was Brenda Starr, reporter. This lady had class! And even has red hair like me! (I used to be a mousy brown – mousy, Joan, not dark brown – geez, can you EVER get ANY thing right?), but now I am a red head – thanks to Lady Clairol! I’ve got comics books, fashion dolls, even Brooke Shields played me in a movie!
Speaking of comic strips, I remember reading a comic book called My Friend Irma when I was a little kid. Irma started out on radio and made it to TV. There were even a couple of movies about her. Joan names the eldest Sippel Sister as Irma. While in real life, my eldest sister is not a blonde, nor dumb (far from it), My Friend Irma seems a nice comic character to represent her.
PS from Gert Sept 14, 2012…I have forgotten on great this post was…is…great