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another bunch of lies from Joan Wheeler March 9, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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lol. yepper, here is Joan again, writing lies to her adoptee friends.

We did not “not like her activism.” Again Joan is LYING. In 1980, I, myself accompanied Joan to WGRZ tv station (a Buffalo New York NBC affliate). We were interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman as to Joan’s adoption and our reunion. As to her getting names and dates mixed up, Joan was writing things down in notebooks AS SHE WAS TOLD THINGS. We never perceived her as stupid. This is bullshit.

“what kills her is that we are on her website.” Well, she is on my website. It’s not killing me. Stop being a hypocrite Joan, you are reading MY blog, so shut up. As for taking your words as you write them, so? This is done to show people how one day you say one thing about us, and then another day, you change your story and say something else.

Joan did NOT write about her church on her wordpress blog. She wrote about Yom Kippur, a Jewish holiday. (Joan is not Jewish). In October 2009, she wrote a piece about Yom Kippur being about a day of atonement, a day you ask forgiveness from people. Yes, yes, my sister Kathy Inglis had read it. She was new to the internet, and as ALL people do, when they are new to the internet, googled Joan’s name and read the blog. Kathy converted to Judaisim some years in the past and wrote a politely worded comment to Joan, that Yom Kippur is not a day to ask forgiveness from other people, but to ask forgiveness from God. Kathy had used her email address, one that included her real name. So she was not hiding anything from Joan. Joan at first sent her an email saying that she always knew that her and Kathy would reconnect. Then all of a sudden, Joan changed her mind, blasted Kathy on the blog.

This was not the first time Joan used her blog to blast religion. In September 2008 on her blog at blogspot, she was blasting the Christian Church and Pagans. She knew that our eldest sister and I were Pagans. She questioned our Pagan values. What was the reason for this attack? I don’t know. My sister Gert had not had any contact with Joan for some time. I myself had not had contact with Joan for 4 and a half years. Then Joan went on to give a “warning” to “The Three Sippel Sisters.”

Now I have been on the internet since late 1999. From that time to September 2008, I have not had any contact with Joan on the internet except for the time in late 2003 and early 2004 when I was building a family photo website at the now-defunct MSN groups service. As the webmistress, I moved one of the photos Joan posted, from one folder to another and also corrected the date. In January of 2004, Joan sent me a nasty email. I was ill, did not see the email, the email got buried. When I saw it in April 2004, we had a brief skirmish, (I have scanned and posted the actual 7 page document of the email exchange here) and I booted her off my website, because she can’t behave herself. From that time on, even though I did see her slamming of my “pagan values,” I did NOT post anything, ANYWHERE on the internet in answer to this slamming of MY religious value system or her trashing of “The Three Sippel Sisters.” I wrote a brief spot about it on my myspace blog, simply saying, “when you write your book on adoption, all I ask is you tell the truth.”

Going back to the Yom Kippur incident, after she slammed Kathy for daring to correct her in erroneous statement about the purpose of Yom Kippur, Joan wrote a statement on her blog that her blog was NOT for religious debate or family skirmishes. I wrote her a polite email asking if her blog indeed was not for this, why then the entire post about Yom Kippur in the first place? And why the slamming of the Christians and Pagans and the slamming of her sisters in September 2008?

She states here “When I write about my church, or my adoptive Mom…”  What does this mean? I have explained her lie about the church, she never wrote about her church, she wrote about Christian, Jews and Pagans. As to her Mom. Nobody said anything about her mom.

She further writes that she is embarrased. She should be. Because she keeps lying. She keeps twisting things around. She keeps telling her buddies garbage. She keeps slamming me and my sisters, calling US liars. When it is in fact, JOAN herself who is the liar. She is embarrassed because the truth about her is coming out.

“…. not an invitation for my sisters to complain to WordPress that I’m  attacking the one sister’s religion or whatever they want to attack me on.”
Again, a twisting of the facts. When she slammed Kathy about the correction about Yom Kippur, Kathy rightfully so, felt insulted. She then wrote a complaint to WordPress about the misuse of the webmistress about her religion and when she wrote to correct the fact about Yom Kippur, she got slammed. Apparently WordPress took off the offending Yom Kippur post. Joan didn’t like that. She didn’t want to be censored. So got VOLUNTARILY paid for a site at startlogic and began building her present site. She transferred all her stuff from her blog at WordPress AND blogspot. Both the old blogs were shut down at the same time. If you go to the URL of her WordPress blog, you will see it was NOT DELETED BY WORDPRESS. You get the following message: “This website has been removed by the author.”

Joan keeps saying that because of “our” complaintS (only one was made) her old blogs were shut down. But did she not just say in her post about the two gay men getting their names on the birth certificate of their adopted child, that she wrote about that issue before in her old blog and her blog was SHUT DOWN BY GAY ACTIVITSTS?

Oh yes she did, and you people read it! Because when I wrote about it: Joan Wheeler Insults Gays and Lesbians, you guys got all over me. You know dam well she wrote that.


And the only reason she finally deigned to show any gratitude to you, is because she was just here on my blog,  and read my latest post.’yet they are on my website, viewing every post I make, and taking my words as if I write to them or about them, when they are not in my mind at all.” Is this not what she just did?
And we are not in her mind at all? Then why is she complaining about us? We most certainly ARE  in her mind.

So now, go back and read what I just wrote: I have NOT slammed Joan, I just corrected the FACTS. If I say that Joan is a liar, THAT IS THE TRUTH. Because she is a liar.

There’s a simple solution to this: Joan, stop lying about me and my sisters.

Here is the comment exchange between Chayelet (Kathy) and Joan. I didn’t save Joan’s original post. Wish I had.



As a Jewish lady, it’s nice to know this lady was so touched by the Hebrew sung in her church,but please permit me one observation. Her article completely misses the point of the Day of Atonement.
Yom Kippur is the culmination of a period known as Yomin Noraim-Days of Awe-a ten-day period of reflection on the wrongs we have done to others and of asking forgiveness for those wrongs, not those done do us. This period starts on Rosh Ha-Shanah(literally Head of the Year, or New Year), but is actually preceded by a whole month (Ellul) wherein we reflect on our actions in the previous year and seek forgiveness from others(Teshuvah). On Yom Kippur we fast, and stand solemnly before our G-d and ask HIS forgiveness for the wrongs we committed in the previous year. I wish this lady and her family a Shana Tova-a good year.



Our Minister at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Buffalo has a very sweet singing voice. In singing Hebrew, his voice struck something deep inside, an ancient knowing?

I was born, and then raised, as a Catholic, and have been a Unitarian Universaltist for a long time. In this church we are exposed to songs and readings and teachings of the worlds religions.

Perhaps I did miss the point of Yom Kippur. Thank you for expanding on my awareness. And thank you for wishing my family a good year.

I wish to reiterate, for the purposes of deeper understanding, that the negative effects of separating a sibling group of five children should not have happened at all. Our father was in deep grief and under great duress at the time he was talked into relinquishing me, but for those details, which are unknown to my siblings, you will have to wait for the release of my book.

Our father does not now fully comprehend all of the forces that were working to his demise at the time he relinquished me. I tried to explain to him, but he sees only that he is dying, not that I understand and defend him. He read the last chapter and was so traumatized by the new revelations of the extent of the crimes committed against him (and his children), that he acted in haste. I cannot allow myself to be distracted. I live with a dying mother. I have to let my father go right now. He has other adult children to take care of him.

The point of my focus on my adoptive mother in this post is that she and my adoptive father could have prevented the whole thing — my adoption — and chose not to. (I’m giving too much away here. Details are revealed in the book.)I understand that they adopted a child so they could love me all to themselves, but they took me away from my existing family and that was a sin, and a crime against us, and our father. I am not sure I can ever forgive that. My mother has no remorse for this.

Yet, the wrongs that were perpetrated upon her by my siblings, were never rectified. My adoptive mother was hurt by the actions of several of my siblings (who are not her children), but not a single one of them has ever made a formal attempt to apologize to her and to ask forgiveness. My adoptive mother to this day is affraid of my siblings. And she knows I defend her on this.

So you see, I am the holder of all this pain. I have spent my life trying to make sense of our lives.

In the end, if nothing else, the most important goal I have of my book is that no other sibling group shall be separated by adoption and that the parents by conception and birth shall be respected and honored.

May you, too, Chayelet, have a good year.



1. * « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family - March 16, 2010

[…] another bunch of lies from Joan Wheeler March 9, 2010  amendment added, March 16, 2010 […]

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