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The Dark Side by Gert McQueen – March 16, 2010 April 18, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
Tags: , , , ,

sorry for the delay in getting Gert’s post out! – Ruth

UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



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The Dark Side

Yoda tells Anakin Skywalker ‘I sense great fear in you. Fear leads to hate. Hates leads to suffering. Suffering leads to the Dark Side.’ And look what happened to Anakin because he didn’t listen.

Now I’m certainly not suggesting that Joan has some ‘higher’ purpose in mind by choosing the dark side, as Anakin believed he had, but by not having a ‘personal’ higher purpose in her life she really is on the dark side because she has chosen to be on the dark side and that is why she is suffering. Get rid of the fear and hate to set yourself free. That is the message of the little Buddha in Yoda.

Going back to the book, Chapter 11 is titled – integrating two families.

She was never taught how to integrate anything, but as an adult and having had the second family from the age of 18 she ought to have learned how to do that, but she never has.

The thought occurs to me that she ought to drop the ‘if my birth family didn’t contact me I would have been just fine’ crap. She knew she was adopted and would have found out eventually from the parents that raised her, even in their paranoia, that the child would eventually know the truth, the truth would have come out even if we did not contact her.

Pg 78 she describes looking for the truth, where, in her adoptive mother’s wallet, not her adoptive father’s wallet because she didn’t ‘suspect’ him, only her mother’s wallet. I’ll tell you first and foremost people, that if a child does not learned very early on in life about personal boundaries and privacy you will have an adult who is a sneak, a liar, a thief, a fabricator, and one who can never be trusted. Look in her mother’s wallet?!! Even as a married adult I had never looked though my husband’s wallet or anyone’s wallet. Would you readers leave your wallet/purse around Joan? She really is totally unconscious as to write about such things that are lacking in her character. I would be ashamed to say such a thing. Joan has no shame. She does not see the basic flaws in her character that were shaped during her first 18 years of life as an adoptee of parents that were paranoid they would lose her.

Pg 80-82 letter from our father to Joan: I have no way knowing the authenticity of the letter but it sounds reasonably what my father would have said. He always did maintain that the rights and privileges of the adoptive parents where more important than himself because they raised her. But Joan is incapable of accepting another’s point of view; she is always looking for something that isn’t there. She can’t accept the fact that shit happens in life and life is not ‘according to Joan’.

Pg 83, yet another misrepresentation of the event of her adoption and yet another contradictory description of the event in the same book. Who was her editor? She writes, ‘first face-to-face meeting my mother had with him since the day he handed me over to my prospective adoptive parents sometime in the spring of 1956’. Wrong, wrong and wrong! I can’t with all certainly say that the natural father and the adoptive parents never ‘really’ met before the adoption. There is some family ‘rumor’ that they may have met at my mother’s funeral, but I am clearly labeling that as RUMOR. It is certain that he did not ‘hand’ Joan over to them, it was done with lawyers, nor was it in the spring of 56. Joan was living with maternal relatives after her birth, not with Dad and he did not see her after the baptism. On pg 469 Joan has a copy of the final order of adoption and it clearly states Oct and Dec 1956 and filed Jan 1957. Again this is an example of creative fiction where she is attempting to write a scandalous story out of a very real sad life event of the death of a young wife and mother, to make money. Again, where was Joan’s editor who would have pointed out these kind of inconsistencies in a book that is listed as non-fiction?

Pg83 has false information about my father’s work that I have already addressed in another post.

Pg 84 she mentions a friend who helped her from ‘confusion into the world of meditation and spirituality…that it would take time to work out…wanted to be normal…didn’t want to go through pain….be able to feel peace.’

Unfortunately for a young person of 18, which she was at this time period, for her to think she was not ‘normal’ is something to really wonder about. Was that the birth family’s fault? Shouldn’t they have given her the sense of normal growing up? Guess not. Why didn’t she stay with meditation and spirituality? If she did she wouldn’t have the depression that has plagued her all her life. Joan, it isn’t too late to begin meditation and to get peace. Stop blaming others. Heal thy self!

And she really does need to learn to get peace because there are pages after pages devoted to her inner torment, really now is all this torment really what people want to read? Are there really that many stress junkies out there that have nothing better to do with their lives but to spent it’s entirely on writing about their inner torment? On page 87 alone I counted at least 25 words or phrases that describe her inner torment, is this what makes a book a ‘great’ book? or is it calculated to sell books? Please someone take her out of her misery!

Yes I do plan on reading this book and continuing with my extensive book report. Why? Because it is about my family and the book is full of lies and misrepresentations. My mother and father deserve more than what Joan has done in this book.



1. chayelet - April 19, 2010

Everyone has the right to reply-even JW’s sisters.My reputation also suffers by what JW writes, and I strongly believe that if you accept a kick, another will come, and then another. People who do not respect our rights as human beings, MUST be stood up to and/or left out of our lives. I and my sisters feel we have the right to do both-stand up and fight for our honour, AND leave the perpetrator out of our lives.We seek no-one’s approval- we don’t need it, but you are entitled to your opinion. We just ask that you understand, and accept, ours.

BTW, as a musician, my mission in life IS to bring healing and light to people through my music. I have helped many people, young and old,including the severely disabled, through the magic of music. It was the power of music that changed my life and this is my way of giving back to the Universe.

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