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Why did Joan Wheeler write her book Forbidden Family? pure and simple: it is for revenge! September 13, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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From Lisa in a comment to my post “I am not interested in your opinion of me”:

I think I have read most of your site. I just wanted to add to your post above. I came to your site when searching about adoption reform and your sisters name came up. It was wonderful to read your site. Some of your adjectives about your sister are adjectives that I was thinking. She states herself she was spoiled as a child. That mentality is why we have a generation of people who are self centered, does not care about anyone else, materialistic, condescending, arrogant etc etc etc. I know it is not politically correct to say she should be grateful because in reading the two stories it seems like your families (3 Sippel sisters) didn’t have the easiest of lives yourself do to your mom’s death, while she was “spoiled” her words. Anyway I just wanted to support you and your story. Once the adoption reform “gang” gets wind of your story they will be relentless. They have that “vicious gang” mentality. It’s not let’s join together for a cause and explain our side. They will try to pick you apart in every way. Continue telling your story. I think it should come out in how reunion doesn’t always work and the sick need of some adoptees for OBC. Showing that nothing not even a piece of paper will fix what needs fixing in their souls.

 My reply:

Yes, Lisa, Joan was spoiled when she was a child, and well into her adulthood. This is why she never learned boundaries, never learned the word NO, never learned to respect other people’s needs and feelings. It has always been about Joan, Joan, Joan. I could go into a couple of events here, but I want to use them on the blog itself, not comments.

 I usually try to be politically correct, because I believe that all people should have their say. But when their say tramples on other people, than the rules have changed. I have ALWAYS supported Joan in her quest for her OBC, which incidentally, she has. It was given to her. So why the crusade? She SAYS it is so that others who cannot get their OBC can legally obtain it. But as I have asked time and time again throughout this blog, why are personal details of MY life on display? What do they have to do with adoption or adoption reform at all? Pray tell, what does the fact that I, Ruth Pace, am a neighborhood activist have to do with JOAN’S adoption, JOAN’S reunion, JOAN’S adoption reform work? And in the book, when she mentions that I am a neighborhood activist, she puts me down for it, saying that my neighborhood was deteriorating. Well, DUH, yeah, that’s why I became a neighborhood activist in the first place! And my neighborhood is much better, thanks to a lot of my work.

The reason that and other personal details of my live is in the book, is clear – it’s a chance to take a swipe at me, to assassinate my character – because that is the whole purpose of her book – it is revenge writing – to get back at everyone in her life who ever angered her, from the mother who up and died when she was an infant, to the birth relatives who did not step in and take her and raise her, to my father who gave her up for adoption, to the Wheelers who adopted her, to a birth cousin who bumped into her at an amusement park when both girls were 10 years old – because she knew that Joan was in reality, Doris, and this little kid, her birth cousin didn’t tell her. (and in the late 90’s Joan harassed this cousin while she was dying of cancer, until the Town of Eden, NY police, NOT my cousin, but the police themselves instituted a harassment case against Joan. Joan’s hatred and anger continues onto her birth siblings, because we were not given up for adoption. And it is for that fact, she is out to punish us.

 Yes Lisa, you are correct, when you say that the adult adoptees will not be happy when they get their OBC, or find out their birth names, or meet their birth family. Because they are full of hate. They hate the mother that gave them up. Never mind she may have been the 14 year old victim of a rapist or other circumstances. They just blindly pass judgment on the birth mother and anyone who had a hand in their adoption. And that hatred spills onto infertile women, who merely want a chance to be a mother. And this what I believe is at the heart of Joan’s hatred towards me, an infertile woman adopted her. I am an infertile woman. Joan loves/hates her adoptive mother. Joan hates me. I don’t think she ever loved me, because she stole from me and lied to me before I had my miscarriage. But it was when I lost my son, and I told her that I didn’t want to hear any more stories of her adoption conferences that Joan really became my enemy. I didn’t want to hear about babies, infertility, adoption or anything to do with reproduction because at that point, I needed grief counseling.  Joan became angry at me because I told her NO. And spoiled children who grow into spoiled adults cannot stand the word NO. I believe in my heart of hearts her further stealing the hundreds of dollars from me in 1990 was punishment because I dared to cut her out of my life for the years 1987 and 1988. And that was because she would NOT respect me – she would NOT stop talking about infertility. My god, I just had a miscarriage, shut up already! But she HATES infertile women, and now I was an infertile woman, ergo, she must HATE me. She makes a mockery of my miscarriage in her book!  When even Jesus carrying his cross to his death, said “Bless the barren,” when St. Veronica wiped his face with her scarf, and the grieving women, stood nearby. Jesus Christ blessed us, but Joan condemns us.

Joan has a need for revenge. Her book, her blog, her statements on the internet, are not about adoption reform at all — it is REVENGE, pure and simple.

 Why else would she blatantly lie about court proceedings that are on record? These are indisputable records of FACT. The FACT that she was granted a six-month order of protection against me, which was summarily DISMISSED, but she just bowls over that FACT. She says that it was for one year. This is a BLATANT LIE. I have posted that court document to PROVE THAT JOAN IS A LIAR. She doesn’t care. That’s her story and she’s sticking to it. Even though she’s making herself out to be a fool. Anybody with brains and has an 8th grade reading level can read Joan’s words “I had a one year order of protection.” Then read the actual court document “order of protection: August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.” And anybody with first grade arithmetic skills and who knows the succession of the months, can reason out that from August to February is SIX MONTHS!

 As for the adoptees, they come over here from time to time. That’s ok. They are always welcome to read my blog. I have NEVER once said in my blog that adult adoptees are not entitled to their OBC. In fact, I SUPPORT their efforts to have OBCs amended to a TRUTHFUL document. But other than that, I do not want to get into the adoption/adoption reform issue at all. Because that is NOT what this blog is about. This blog is to REFUTE JOAN WHEELER’S LIES ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY.  I am not interested in Heather in UK’s adoption issues. I am not interested in Mara Rigge’s adoption issues. They have their issues and lives, and they are none of my business. I am not interested in anybody’s else’s issues. EXCEPT if any reader steps forward and says that they are part of a birth family, was reunited with the adopted person, and is now being bullied by that person.

 There are plenty of places in the real world and the cyber world that offer support for infertile women, birthmothers, would-be adoptive parents, adoptive parents, the adopted child, adult adoptees, grief counseling for parents who lose their children, grief counseling for spouse who have lost their partner, but no where is there any help for the siblings of an adoptee. Who stands up for them? And does anybody ever know what happens after an adoption reunion? Oh, they get on Oprah Winfrey and show how they glad they are they found each other. But when the reunion goes sour, what then? Where is there any help? And where is there any help when the soured reunion turns criminal? I took Joan to court in 1995 because of the falsified child abuse call, her calling my place of employment, her writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, telling him that I have a criminal record when I have none. These are deeds of STALKING! I took her to court and the judge dismissed my case! Why? Because the judge said, “sisters should get along.” WTF kind of answer is that? If I can help ANYone who is in this same type of situation, to help them gear up the courage to stand up to their bullies, than I have succeeded.

 Also, it is clear that Joan is mentally ill. I know for a fact that she was treated for manic depression. In 1999, when her friend Bonnie gave me Joan’s computer and her discs, which contained an early manuscript of her book, Joan had a part of a journal on the computer and she writes about her manic depression. Now, I know that mentally ill people do not ask to be mentally ill. And perhaps some of her actions are caused by her illness, but WHERE IS MY PROTECTION FROM THAT ILL PERSON? When does it stop? Why must I suffer from character assassination? Why must I have my employers be called and told lies? Why must MY husband be urged to leave me? Why must I suffer? Because SHE is ill? NO WAY!  I refuse to be walked on because Joan is ill. I, RUTH PACE HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE A PEACEFUL LIFE! This is guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States! And by the gods, I DEMAND that Joan stop her lies! And I speak for my two sisters Gert and Kathy, and indeed for MY ENTIRE FAMILY. My cousin Gail is dead. Joan harassed her when she was DYING OF CANCER! Joan lies about her in the book. Gail is no longer here to defend herself. So I WILL DEFEND HER.

 Joan, you can hang up your keyboard, because your sisters are coming after you. And you have no one to blame but yourself. YOU chose to say the order of protection in 1994 was for one year – no one put a gun to your head and forced you to write that lie. And all the other lies you put in that book, and all the lies you put out on the internet. YOU, Joan Wheeler, YOU did it. And all The Three Sippel Sisters are doing is showing the world what you really are: a lying bitch.

1. gert – September 14, 2010

Again, thank you Lisa, for your words that show that indeed there are people out there that are not fearfull of the truth…

This statement of yours:
“Once the adoption reform “gang” gets wind of your story they will be relentless. They have that “vicious gang” mentality. It’s not let’s join together for a cause and explain our side. They will try to pick you apart in every way.”
is,unfortunately,true.

This is what is wrong within our culture, the gang mentality, that seeks to destroy instead of build.

I’m not afraid of bullies or gangs. I’ve dealt with more of them than there are of these vicious adoption reform people that Joan hangs out with. I’m also sure that not every adoption reform group are as they are, but, I shall never be bullied by a gang of people that intimidate and threaten. I have more scalps on my belt than are in that little group of obnoxious loudmouths! My agenda is not the same as theirs. My is truth and honor. People in and with gang mentality are not interested in truth and they know not honor.

The gang is very worried, they see that we sisters are not being intimidated and are not going away.
That’s right, every page of that book of filth will be addressed on this blog. Stay tuned for more truth speaking.

Reply
RuthSeptember 14, 2010

Gert,
I’m not so sure if the “adoption gang” is worried about us – but I do believe that some of them are concerned about Joan. Back in February, a certain adoptee couldn’t wait for Joan to join her gang, because she was so “awesome.” Joan had manipulated her into believing that the Three Sippel Sisters were a trio of bashers! O my goddess, what a day they had! Almost 200 hits here, and several nasty comments! Then, silence.

In May, Joan herself, starts her whining herself, urging them to shut down by blog by complaining about me. Which is EXACTLY one of the false accusations she had thrown at me – that I had managed to shut her previous 2 blogs down, which was a lie. Joan herself explained on the wordpress blog the reason SHE shut her blogspot blog down was because she had been censored. As to the wordpress blog – again, SHE shut it down. She moved it over to startlogic. When you went to the wordpress site, you got a message stating that the OWNER shut it down. I had nothing to do it, but she whined that I did. And bitched and moaned that when I did, I was interfering with her life. So what does she do – turn around and tries to do the same to me. Two wrongs don’t make a right my sweet sister. Because you showed everyone what a little pisspot you are right there and then.

And in her May 2010 whines, she passionately pleads to the adoptees “get them away from me, get them away from me.” ‘Scuse me, I’m not near her, nor is Gert or Kathy. Joan doesn’t like this blog for one simple reason – and that is: HER LIES ARE BEING STRAIGHTENED OUT! The whole world, and that includes her adoptee friends, are seeing for themselves, that their “awesome” friend is nothing but a liar, a manipulator and a fraud!
On August 25, 2010, she told another lie about me and my family, stating that we have been physically attacking her for the past 30 years. Which is a direct contradiction of things she has said in the book, and on the internet and, most importantly, on the adoptee forum. Joan has stated over and over that we are intefering with her life, despite that fact that she HAS HAD NO CONTACT WITH US FOR DECADES. So I put the question out there: HOW HAVE WE BEEN ATTACKING HER PHYSICALLY FOR 30 YEARS IF THERE HAS BEEN NO CONTACT?

It is JOAN herself who keeps putting her foot in her mouth, and I suspect that people are starting to see this. And we know for a FACT that not only the adoptee gang has realized this – we got an email from someone who stated that something Joan said about her 3 sisters was “patently false.” And with each whine, with each lie, with each contradiction that Joan has fed her “friends,” her support gets diminshed. The stats for this blog prove this. And the replys that she got on her posts on the forum also diminished in numbers.

ah, the forum – let us address this here and now and be done with it. Yes, I had 2 covert accounts. I have been accused of “spying” on Joan. Let me say this for the  record – I DON’T CARE WHAT IS DISCUSSED ON THE FORUM – I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY ISSUES REVOLVING AROUND THE ADOPTEES – I ONLY WANT TO BE INFORMED OF WHAT JOAN SAYS ABOUT ME – BECAUSE AS YOU SEE, ON AUGUST 25, JOAN LIED ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY AGAIN! I have every right to want to know what is said about ME and MY FAMILY. Anything else – I AM NOT INTERESTED IN IT! And both Gert and Kathy have stated they also don’t care about the adoption issue.
THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ADOPTION REFORM, SHUTTING UP ADOPTEES, ANTI-ADOPTION, OR PRO-ADOPTION. THIS BLOG IS ABOUT THE SIPPEL FAMILY SETTING STRAIGHT THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR LIVES. TO UNDO THE DAMAGE THAT JOAN HAS DONE TO OUR REPUTATIONS. Someone (Joan) has gone in public and told stories about us. And they are LIES! We have the right to tell the truth about our own lives and straighten out those twisted up stories!
No one is intimidating anyone. The adoptees have their issues – fine. This blog is not about those issues. This blog is about the Sippel Family taking ownership of their lives. Taking it back from a lying, deceitful fraudulant, bitter bitch named Joan Wheeler.

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Comments

1. gert - September 14, 2010

Again, thank you Lisa, for your words that show that indeed there are people out there that are not fearfull of the truth…

This statement of yours:
“Once the adoption reform “gang” gets wind of your story they will be relentless. They have that “vicious gang” mentality. It’s not let’s join together for a cause and explain our side. They will try to pick you apart in every way.”
is,unfortunately,true.

This is what is wrong within our culture, the gang mentality, that seeks to destroy instead of build.

I’m not afraid of bullies or gangs. I’ve dealt with more of them than there are of these vicious adoption reform people that Joan hangs out with. I’m also sure that not every adoption reform group are as they are, but, I shall never be bullied by a gang of people that intimidate and threaten. I have more scalps on my belt than are in that little group of obnoxious loudmouths! My agenda is not the same as theirs. My is truth and honor. People in and with gang mentality are not interested in truth and they know not honor.

The gang is very worried, they see that we sisters are not being intimidated and are not going away.
That’s right, every page of that book of filth will be addressed on this blog. Stay tuned for more truth speaking.

Ruth - September 14, 2010

Gert,
I’m not so sure if the “adoption gang” is worried about us – but I do believe that some of them are concerned about Joan. Back in February, a certain adoptee couldn’t wait for Joan to join her gang, because she was so “awesome.” Joan had manipulated her into believing that the Three Sippel Sisters were a trio of bashers! O my goddess, what a day they had! Almost 200 hits here, and several nasty comments! Then, silence. In May, Joan herself, starts her whining herself, urging them to shut down by blog by complaining about me. Which is EXACTLY one of the false accusations she had thrown at me – that I had managed to shut her previous 2 blogs down, which was a lie. Joan herself explained on the wordpress blog the reason SHE shut her blogspot blog down was because she had been censored. As to the wordpress blog – again, SHE shut it down. She moved it over to startlogic. When you went to the wordpress site, you got a message stating that the OWNER shut it down. I had nothing to do it, but she whined that I did. And bitched and moaned that when I did, I was interfering with her life. So what does she do – turn around and tries to do the same to me. Two wrongs don’t make a right my sweet sister. Because you showed everyone what a little pisspot you are right there and then.
And in her May 2010 whines, she passionately pleads to the adoptees “get them away from me, get them away from me.” ‘Scuse me, I’m not near her, nor is Gert or Kathy. Joan doesn’t like this blog for one simple reason – and that is: HER LIES ARE BEING STRAIGHTENED OUT! The whole world, and that includes her adoptee friends, are seeing for themselves, that their “awesome” friend is nothing but a liar, a manipulator and a fraud!
On August 25, 2010, she told another lie about me and my family, stating that we have been physically attacking her for the past 30 years. Which is a direct contradiction of things she has said in the book, and on the internet and, most importantly, on the adoptee forum. Joan has stated over and over that we are intefering with her life, despite that fact that she HAS HAD NO CONTACT WITH US FOR DECADES. So I put the question out there: HOW HAVE WE BEEN ATTACKING HER PHYSICALLY FOR 30 YEARS IF THERE HAS BEEN NO CONTACT?
It is JOAN herself who keeps putting her foot in her mouth, and I suspect that people are starting to see this. And we know for a FACT that not only the adoptee gang has realized this – we got an email from someone who stated that something Joan said about her 3 sisters was “patently false.” And with each whine, with each lie, with each contradiction that Joan has fed her “friends,” her support gets diminshed. The stats for this blog prove this. And the replys that she got on her posts on the forum also diminished in numbers.
ah, the forum – let us address this here and now and be done with it. Yes, I had 2 covert accounts. I have been accused of “spying” on Joan. Let me say this for record – I DON’T CARE WHAT IS DISCUSSED ON THE FORUM – I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY ISSUES REVOLVING AROUND THE ADOPTEES – I ONLY WANT TO BE INFORMED OF WHAT JOAN SAYS ABOUT ME – BECAUSE AS YOU SEE, ON AUGUST 25, JOAN LIED ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY AGAIN! I have every right to want to know what is said about ME and MY FAMILY. Anything else – I AM NOT INTERESTED IN IT! And both Gert and Kathy have stated they also don’t care about the adoption issue.
THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ADOPTION REFORM, SHUTTING UP ADOPTEES, ANTI-ADOPTION, OR PRO-ADOPTION. THIS BLOG IS ABOUT THE SIPPEL FAMILY SETTING STRAIGHT THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR LIVES. TO UNDO THE DAMAGE THAT JOAN HAS DONE TO OUR REPUTATIONS. Someone (Joan) has gone in public and told stories about us. And they are LIES! We have the right to tell the truth about our own lives and straighten out those twisted up stories!
No one is intimidating anyone. The adoptees have their issues – fine. This blog is not about those issues. This blog is about the Sippel Family taking ownership of their lives. Taking it back from a lying, deceitful fraudulant, bitter bitch named Joan Wheeler.


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