My mother as my spiritual benefactor by Gert McQueen October 5, 2010Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Tags: Buddhist, Disrespect, emotional abuse, Guided Meditation, Lilydale NY, Meditation, Reiki
Over the past 10 years or so I’ve studied various self-healing techniques including Reiki, a hands-on transmission of universal healing energy. In June 2006 I attended a Reiki 1 session, where I learned the basics of what reiki is, the basic hand positions and to receive an ‘attunement’ that ‘connects’ me with the universal ‘love’ energy. During all my research and putting into practice many techniques I have always been a bit shy of this ‘love’ energy because basically it sounds too much like various forms of christian love. Nonetheless I’ve remained open to the fact that christianity doesn’t have a monopoly on any love energy and I know there are other gods, goddesses and spiritual guides that I could call upon for help and guidance.
So at this attunement, in 2006, I am remaining open to receiving some guidance and love from a spiritual benefactor who would help me in learning and using reiki energy. I had no particular vision or impression of anyone or anything. So here I am in a semi-meditative state of awareness as the Reiki Master is ‘attuning’ me with Universal Reiki. All of a sudden I have this immense and intense sense of being ‘held and rocked’ in great arms of love and then ‘knowing’ that I am being held by my mother, who is in spirit form. Tears fell from my eyes for what seemed like a long time as I rocked back and forth, physically, as my mother, rocked me spiritually. It was a very profound experience. That was the first time I have ever experienced that and I knew that she was now guiding me with the reiki energy. I no longer felt uneasy when others expressed reiki in christian terms, for I now know differently.
I also have been studying and practicing various forms of Hindi and Buddhist meditations techniques for many years. Again, while I understand and can appreciate ‘loving kindness’, ‘forgiveness’ and ‘compassion’ and actually practice forms of these practices I still am shy and reluctant to go the full measure of extending the ‘love’ to certain people, including a particular family member. The practices are difficult, they take lots of time to understand and even with much practice they are not easy to do for they do require you to ‘see’ everything as it really is, not the illusions that we believe them to be. In just coming to terms with forgiving those that have harmed me I’m still working on it. Forgiving doesn’t means forgetting nor does it mean allowing negative or harmful behaviors to continue.
On June 5, 2010 I attended a Buddhist discussion and meditation workshop that focused on meditations of being open, being more aware, loving kindness to self, accepting that loving kindness and then sending that love to others. These practices are not easy and it is helpful to have a teacher to help you in the practices. It is not always easy for you to ‘accept’ the ‘love’ for yourself, let alone send it to others. I’m trying to get there.
Then it happened, again. I was in a state of calm, relaxed, deep meditation, floating in colors that went from red, red/orange, orange and going into orange/yellow, when suddenly there is this immense and intense sense that my benefactor was there, my mother was there. After a physical shutter my body reacted with a steady flow of tears, my breathing got deeper as my mental, emotional and spiritual bodies took in the loving kindness that my mother was showing me and giving me. That unconditional universal love/healing energy that has many names was flowing from my mother to me. I was still connected with all of this while I reached for my tissues and settled the body back down as the teacher was giving more instructions. Once I had made the connection of accepting the love from my benefactor, my mother, I was being asked to send that love to others I loved. That wasn’t so difficult, my daughter Karen and my sisters Kathy and Ruth. Then I heard ‘and Joan too’. I took a deep breath and said ‘yes to Joan too’ and send her love. After a few minutes more I was out of the meditative state still crying for a minute or so.
What I’m learning is that yes it is very hard and difficult to give love to someone who has harmed you. I can and for the most part, do separate the person from the behavior. Just because I love Joan doesn’t mean that I will sit back quietly and let her words and deeds go without comment. I only person I can fix is myself, and my mother is helping me in this and more. Thank you, Mom.
Thank you Gert for sharing this with us. I also had a similar experience when I attended a workshop at Lilydale, NY. in 2004. The guided meditation I attended was conducted by Tara Sutphen, wife of Dick Sutphen. The Sutphens have had their own self-help, self-hypnosis, guided meditation company for years. I have many of their CDs and tapes. I’m not going to get into all that here – if you are interesed in the Sutphens, just google them.
I also am not going to get into the whole meditation that I attended, just want to share that during the meditation, I felt my mother’s spirit surrounding me. I also wept, and was rocking back and forth. It was very profound. At the close of the meditation, several of the participants shared their experiences, I could not. It was deeply personal. I could see concern on Tara’s face, because I had been crying. But she did not pry.
Our sister-in-law Marty posted on our Family Stories site that something occured shortly after our brother died in 2003. She was in contact with his spirit and she asked him who had come for him. He told her “my mother.”
We have known for years that our mother’s spirit has not left the earthly plane. She has been with us all along. Many different psychic readings to not just us, but to cousins, all have come with the same thing – that a “Jenny” is watching over you.
This is why I said last month, and I said again yesterday, to Joan – that she can lie to herself, and she can lie to her friends, but she can’t lie to our mother’s spirit. And for shame Joan, for what you put on your blog – and I’m not talking about the front page – but that little slur against us on your cyber-bullying page – calling your sisters fools in the same sentance as professing your love for our mother. How do you think she feels about that Joan? And for you to attack us yet again, and stooping so low as to invoke our mother – for shame. And that is emotional abuse to us. But we are far stronger than you know. For we have spiritual help and guidance.
Writing this blog is our way of standing up to a bully – the bully named Joan Wheeler. She has gone in public with our private lives. We have the right to talk about OUR lives, do we not? If Joan can publish a lie about us, we have the right to tell the truth about us. Joan and her bully friends will not intimidate us.
UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…