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Facts are Stubborn Things Part 2 November 10, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Facts are Stubborn Things Part 2 by Gert

Now, before going back to pg 214, we must clear up some things regarding my daughter. She had some issues dealing with her natural father’s rejections, my re-marrying and subsequently having a new father in the house. Both my children had not had a father in residence for over 10 years before I remarried. Couple that with puberty and two aunts, Ruth and Joan, who were closer in age to her and more willing to take what she said about her home life as ‘not within the norm’; what teenager likes the rules at home. My daughter had a pattern of various forms of ‘running away’, from finding school mates that were inappropriate, to hanging out with the older kids, to wanting to belong to a Black church group, to finding a woman who had a mental illness who wanted to adopt her, to wanting to have a baby. Yes we were strict, we had to be. Yes we had problems, we were in counseling! But remember this, this was the beginning of the age, culturally, where the parents’ authority was being undermined by not being able to discipline there own child. The child had the rights, the parents’ only right they had was to pay the bills! I had a counselor who would not tell me, when I asked where my daughter was, when she ran away, because of my daughter’s confidentiality, but I had to pay the bill! And yes not everything was perfect and peaceful and pleasant at home. Yes there was domestic violence, but there was no sexual abuse of any kind regardless of appearances and teenage opinions. …. facts are stubborn things.

So on pg 214 Joan states that my daughter told her about changes in family behavior, skinny dripping in particular and Joan takes it upon herself to see ‘huge red flags’ and so she ‘…suspected her (my daughter) to be in danger of sexual abuse by her step-father….with a former co-worker from the NY State Division of Youth…discussed and agreed there was concern and made the phone call to child abuse hotline.’ And as she said ‘the next few months were pure hell’.

What Joan, again, does not write about is that she was warned by Ruth not to involved authorities, they had no real evidence to any abuse, that to do so would cause real trouble, but Joan never listens to anyone but herself and yes it was pure hell. But it is not true, as Joan states, ‘…that (my daughter) was removed from her home and placed in foster care.’ That all happened because of Joan’s actions with a runaway child, my child and much later than when Joan states it happened and how it happen! On pg 221 she states that we moved hundreds of miles away and that my child was placed near me for visits and that all this happened in 1981, wrong, wrong and wrong. Here then is the real story…. facts are stubborn things.

As mentioned before my daughter had a runaway problem, we had to keep close tabs on her at all times. My second husband’s family was based in the country outside of Binghamton NY and we, as a family, had traveled there and visited many times since 1979. As a family we decided to move from Buffalo NY to Binghamton for quality of life issues, we found jobs and moved there August of 82. It was over a year since we adopted my son and that we had any contact with Joan. Of course my daughter did not like this move. Here’s a fact of life, she was a minor, she does not dictate what the family does, the parents do and Joan and Ruth did not like the fact that we took the children away from their ‘roots’. Too bad! I will not now as I did not then justify my decisions I made for my family and no one, blood relative or not, has the right to interfere with my minor children, period, end of story. …. facts are stubborn things.

So we moved and within one week my daughter is a runaway. This is when ‘it was pure hell’, in the fall of 1982 and it started with Joan taking the words of a runaway minor and calling child abuse on the parents, her own sister! Don’t believe all this self-serving crap of hers on pg 214, its all bullshit. As far as the phone calls at that time, yes there were some phone calls, I was trying to find my daughter! But did I do all that Joan says I did like ‘every two hours until 4 AM every day of the week’, is she nuts? I lived hundreds of miles away, still had to go to work while I searched for my daughter and I had another child to care for. It is only in Joan’s diseased mind that sees other doing what she herself does. …. facts are stubborn things.

To make a very long painful story short, my daughter runs away, missing person’s report is filed, family members are called and are asked to make calls to Ruth and Joan, we the parents are lied to, my sisters knew where she was, she was with them. When I find out that my daughter is back in Buffalo, at her old school, we travel back there to collect her. There is a physical confrontation between parents and child in the school where daughter says ‘rape’, police are called, and daughter is taken away and given in temporary custody to Ruth. Because of different counties I have to go back home and then file a PINS (person in need of supervision) with Family court in county where my child is residing. It is during this time period that Joan calls the child abuse hotline, not earlier. (Ruth’s note: Joan called child abuse on Gert twice – the first time before the family moved from Buffalo, then again after Karen ran away).  While waiting for Family court dates I am investigated no less than on three separate charges of child abuse. When finally arriving at court and am granted the PINS and request that she be put in a foster home in the country so as to lessen her means of running away. So let me be perfectly clear here: once I found my daughter and was in court it was I who asked for her to be place in foster care, for I knew then that no one else could touch her. I was lucky, my daughter was one month shy of 16. If she were 16 or older I would have lost any hope of gaining control of her behavior for the laws state that at 16 a person can do as they please, but, the parents still had to pay the bills! …. facts are stubborn things.

I then asked for a home study to be done on my two sisters who had sued me for being an unfit parent. How interesting that after my family had passed investigations to adopt that all of a sudden we were abusers and unfit! My sisters were proved to be unsuitable to raise a child. My child was placed in a foster home near where we had already moved to, in other words where we already lived, where my child ran away from, not the way that Joan portrayed it on pg 221. The results were proven that my husband and I acted in every way ‘rightfully to protect our minor child’ and were ‘not guilty of any form of child abuse’. I still have the original 16-page document if anyone cares to check my account of this tragedy. But the damage that Joan started and did was long lasting.  …. facts are stubborn things.

My daughter stayed in the foster home for about a year and then she ran away again, this time not from me but from Social Services and Family Court. In early 1984, at the age of 17, I petitioned the court to give my daughter her emancipation, which meant her freedom. She became a full-fledged adult at 17, not entitled to child support, which also relinquished me from any debts related to her. She married shortly after that. …. facts are stubborn things.

Unfortunately the damage that my daughter did, by the word rape, which was put in her mouth by my sisters and carried to the abuse hotline and to the court by Joan, destroy my family. Did Joan win anything here, did she stop any abuse? No all she did was destroy a family. To this day my children, both of them, hate her as does my former husband, his family and I. The stress of those days killed our marriage, all that man wanted was to be a father to my two children, but because Joan is so wrongly obsessed with faulty thinking about adoption she had to kill my family…. facts are stubborn things.

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