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Who Harasses Whom? November 14, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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On Joan’s website she accuses her birth sisters of harassing her via this blog. But she will not say how she has harassed us through the years. Please see the post What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.  for a concise listing of Joan’s harassment of US!

SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFO….

Joan says that she wrote her book, not for the purpose of writing about her birth sisters, but about HER life. Pray tell, then, what does MY miscarriage have to do with HER life? It didn’t affect her, didn’t affect her adoption, her adoption reunion, or her adoption reform work.

She writes that her book is a truthful book. This is a lie! In this book, she says that there was a 3 month long court battle between us in 1993. WRONG! This is a lie. She writes in her book that I have been arrested, placed on probation and have a criminal record! THIS IS A LIE! I have never been arrested in my life. She writes in her book that she filed a complaint against me in February 1993 for annoyance phone calls. I have written about this issue before. Lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler   She signed the complaint in July 1993, not February. See picture of her actual complaint at the end of this post. She says in her book that she was granted a one year order of protection against me. WRONG – it was for six months. See the picture of the actual court order at the end of this post. Her book is NOT truthful – she lies even about OFFICIAL COURT DOCUMENTS! If she lies about official court records – can you people trust ANY thing she says about ANYbody, let alone her birth sisters? NO, you can’t. Because she is a pathological liar. Even when confronted with the TRUTH (I have posted these court documents before on this blog), she will STILL insist that she didn’t lie. That’s her story, and she’s sticking to it!

She claims that we are damaging her reputation – but what about HER smearing OUR reputation? Do you think that I like having a book published and it says that I have been arrested? Do you think I like reading this shit on the internet? Do you think that Gert likes reading on the internet that she is a sexual offender when she is not?

As for her charges that we are urging her to commit suicide – BALONEY! She has been using the suicide threat as an attempt to elicit sympathy and attention since the 1980’s. Joan has gone on an adoption discussion forum, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and threatened suicide twice already. She even admitted just recently that she has suicide thoughts all the time. Around November 4, 2010, she said on this forum that “suicide thoughts and bitterness are with me always.”  Another time, in the end of September 2010, on the same forum, she threatens suicide, then says, “I used to be a suicide prevention therapist – so no, I’m not going to kill myself.” – or words to that effect. Do you see how she contradicts herself? That is just her whining. Please, Joan, get thee to your therapist – and get some meds. And that is ALL that was said on this blog. We have been urging her to get some dam meds!  See the end of this post for the screenshots of her latest whine.

All her whining is just another bullying tactic – Joan can say all the shit she wants about US, but we are not supposed to speak up in our defense? Hell no. Get over it Joan, you have can’t have your cake and eat it too. Because we are here. We have always been here.

Joan – I challenged you once before to a lie detector test! Let’s go baby! Put your money where your mouth is! I’m game. Let’s go! and Right now baby, right now! I am not playing games. You want the truth? THEN LET’S GO! put up or shut up.

As for harassing letters – Joan writes in her book that she is sent harassing letters by her own mother. on Pages 317-19, in a 1999 manuscript of her book Forbidden Family Joan relates how her own mother sent her harassing letters. We have documented on this blog how Dorothy/Doloris Wheeler is an unbalanced woman, and this is proof. (Yes, she goes by two names). This passage in the book  is proof that Joan was getting harassed from her own adoptive family, yet continues to blame her birth sisters. See end of this post – public records that Dorothy Wheeler is also known as Doloris.

Did I write letters to Joan? Oh yes. But they were not harassing – they were either letters expressing my anger at her deeds towards me (stealing hundreds of dollars from me; being disrespectful of me after I had a miscarriage; or answering letters to JOAN’S own harassing letters to me! In one of those letters, she informed my that her son saw me drive past her house, when I didn’t even have a car, and then went on to inform me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. At the time I received this letter in 1999, the house was vacant. I have lived in my house since 1987, and from 1987 to 1994, the only two babies born to women living in that house was Danny M. Jr. (D.J), a BOY, born in 1990. The next BOY, Jesse S. was born around 1991. On the other side of my house, was the garage belonging to the corner house of the street intersecting mine. There were no babies at all born there – the couple were middle-aged, he a long-distance truck driver, she stayed home to tend to their teenaged handicapped BOY! They moved around 1997, the next people to move in were Janet and she had teenagers. So just who is harassing whom? see end of this post to see this letter.

Or how about the letter that Joan’s 10 year old son supposedly wrote to my husband? I have already written about this before in the post: Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? but to recap quickly: In June 1993, I received an envelope addressed to me – in Joan’s handwriting. Inside was a folded up letter addressed to my husband. Why wasn’t the envelope also addressed to him? Because this is Joan playing her stupid games. So the letter is addressed “Dear John.” Why not UNCLE John? Dennis always called him UNCLE John. The handwriting is sloppy, not at all like a child, and some of the letters were put down, scratched out, then written over differently – and it looks a lot like Joan’s handwriting. See the scanned picture below – I have included a sample of Joan’s own handwriting to compare – the t’s all have the cross bar lower than it should, and the following letters are the same in both letters: r, d, a and e. Who is harassing whom? see end of this post to see this letter and Joan’s handwriting sample.

Gert wrote in April 2010 about the Wheelers: “These people are paranoid, they are afraid of their own shadows. Joan keeps talking about some adoptive relatives that harass her, pg 217 and other places, why does she think all the harassment comes from me? May she should look right at her own mother, pg 221, she states that my ‘phone calls and outrageous letters continued…from 82-84’. If this is so why does she not produce them for us all to see. Should not be so difficult in this age of computer technical means and this way prove to the world who to believe, her or me….. facts are stubborn things.”

“These people are paranoid, they are afraid of their own shadows.” Not really Gert – what these people are afraid of, is the fact that other people will do to them, exactly what they have been doing to people. They are true BULLIES – they feel that they can disrespect people, but don’t like it when people do the same to them in return. As the old saying goes: “They can dish it out, but they can’t take it.”

Getting back to where Joan describes her own adoptive mother sending her harassing letters, I will first quote the passages from the 1999 manuscript, and then the published book, because she revised it.

From 1999:

On pages 317-18, Joan is describing her adoptive mother’s behavior towards her after her wedding to Colby: “My mother’s resentment toward me continued in the form of harassing letters sent to the office where I worked and to Colby’s mother’s house, as well as to my new home. She’d address the envelope with every possible name combination she could think of. It didn’t matter to her that I didn’t change my name nor did I add my husband’s name to mine. I was still Joan Wheeler, but the letters came addressed to me as “Joan Colby” or Mrs. Bell” or Mrs. Bell-Wheeler” and other combinations. It was obvious to me that she was confused and hurt. But her nasty letters upset me.”

In the published version of the book, on page 228, this paragraph reads: “Mom’s resentment toward me continued in the form of harassing letters sent to the office where I worked and to Randy’s (Colby) mother’s house, as well as to my new home. She addressed the envelopes with every possible name combination she could think of. It didn’t matter to her that I didn’t change my name when I got married for both feminist reasons as well as adoption-based reasons. Nor did I add my husband’s name to mine.

Letters came addressed to me as “Joan Randy” or Mrs. Keating” or Mrs. Keating-Wheeler” or Mrs. Randy Keating” and other combinations. It was obvious to me that she was confused. She would have found out that I was  still “Joan Wheeler” if she had read the program at the wedding. Mom couldn’t understand why a woman wouldn’t change her name when she got married. My mother’s letters were abusive, nasty, and emotionally distressful.”

On page 319 of the 1999 manuscript, she continues: “In one of the harassing letters my mother sent me, dated August 3rd, 1983, which was coincidentally, my deceased (adoptive) father’s birthday, she said, ‘If you are still concerned about what is happening to The (sic) Wheeler side of the family, call somebody and find out.”

Apparently, a Wheeler relative was dying, Joan did not want to visit a dying man when she was pregnant (oh, how touching!), so she simply sent a card. “Mom responded with another venomous letter in which she announced that the whole family was still upset over my wedding. Some relatives, including my own mother, thought I was wrong to have my sister in my wedding….” This passage is the same in the book.

Aha! I see what was going on! Joan also describes in the book that another Wheeler uncle, John Wheeler was finally caught in the 2000’s when he slipped up and put his return address on an envelope. Harassing hateful letters with his now-proven handwriting was sent to Joan for years, along with Joan’s articles from the newspapers with hateful messages scrawled on them  – and I was getting most of the blame for these items.

The Wheelers didn’t like that I was one of Joan’s bridesmaids, so they harassed her, and I wouldn’t doubt some of the letters were written in a way for Joan to suspect it was me!

And Dorothy was sending harassing letters to Colby’s mother’s house, yet was pissed when Gert sent HER a letter the previous year? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! And we see how the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Joan writes of her mother’s letters in 1983: “My mother’s letters were abusive, nasty, and emotionally distressful.” So how does Joan think HER letter to me in 1999 to falsely accuse my husband of impregnanting the next-door neighbor was towards me? I’ll tell you what it was like: it was abusive, nasty and emotionally distressful. Apparently, Joan feels as though SHE can write hurtful harassing letters, but dammit, nobody had better NOT ever write her a letter expressing their anger at HER. – But that’s the way BULLIES are.

Joan even wrote a nasty letter to my 78 year old foster mother! And we have that letter – IN JOAN’S HANDWRITING! And we have our foster mother’s response letter, and they will be scanned and posted to this blog when we come to the proper time to discuss the incident where Joan made that old woman cry!

Joan Wheeler – the elder abuser, the sister abuser, the harasser of everyone in her life. And LYING HYPOCRITICAL BULLY!

And the Wheelers? – They are BULLIES – every single last one of them!

Joan’s post is listed as the 10th line down.

Here is proof that Joan’s mother goes by 2 names. 

Here is the complaint she signed against me, dated July 9, 1993.  On page 314 in her book, she says she signed the complaint in February 1993.

Restraining order from August  9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. Count the months Joan – SIX months, that ‘s only HALF a year – therefore, this order of protection was NOT for one year – Joan, you got caught in a big fat LIE! therefore your book is NOT truthful! Give us the book Joan.

This is the letter I recieved from Joan in February 1999, where she informs me that my husband got the next door nieghbor pregnant. Joan keeps saying that I have repeatedly accused her of having an affair with John – THIS IS A LIE! JOHN WOULD NEVER TOUCH HER BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE HAS G_ H!  – from the early 1980s.  And both John and I are clean. Thank you very much.

I have NEVER said or even suspected of them having an affair. This is just another Joan-speak. Joanwas just jealous because her marriage failed, and John and I have been best friends since 1978, moved in together in 1987, bought our house in 1996, got married in 2002, and are STILL going strong! Why the hell would I marry the guy if he had an affair with this bitch con-artist sicko sister of mine? Keep up the lies Joan – because you are grasping at straws with this one! If I had separated temporarily with my first husband in 1982 because of his mere drinking, do you think I would marry a man who cheated on me with a lowlife pig like Joan? HA!

Joan, do you want YOUR secrets told here? The pool table in Lulu’s – the sexual “favors” you gave the neighbors on Swinburne St. for $20.00? Keep smearing our reputations with lies, and we will tell the truth about you.

oh LOOK – the letter here from Joan says SIX MONTHS PROBATION! But the pink letter says SIX MONTHS ORDER OF PROTECTION!  These are two very different things! But Wait! Didn’t Joan say in the book and on the internet  that it was for A YEAR! But in this letter she says SIX MONTHS! roflmao (cyber speak for Roll On Floor Laughing My Ass Off). Joan, Joan, Joan, give it up – you are so full of shit. AND STOP LYING! Because everytime you tell the story of our court “battle” you LIE and change the events.  I mean, she says in the book she signed the complaint about annoyance phone calls of June 1993 in February 1993, but in reality she signed the complaint in July 1993.  That’s right. She says in the book she signed the complaint in February. But the calls weren’t made until June. She must be psychic! Hey Joan- can you give me some winning lottery numbers???

Then she was given a one year order of protection against me, then I was placed on six months probation. Oh yes – and I was arrested. Oh PUH-LEAZE! How many versions are you going to tell Joan? Would you fucking pick one version and stick to it? Like the fucking TRUTH!

addendum – November 14, 9:53pm – I just caught this one! In this letter Joan sent to me in 1999, she refers to the child abuse call in 1995. Let’s see – the call was made in December 1994. In her book she says it was placed in 1993. On The Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change website and on her blog (in September 2010), she said the call was made in 1996. So now we have a FOURTH year coming from Joan’s own mouth and typed words. Which year was it Joan? Was it 1993? Was it 1994? Was it 1995? Was it 1996? What the fuck is wrong with this broad?

Gert – November 15, 2010
a supporter of Joan said to Ruth…

“I went to the cyberbulliesstalkers and it is pretty scathing. It is no worse than what you all have said about her. I feel confident that is the last internet posting she will do about you. She let it all out. Now you can all now let it go. Go on Leave her alone and she will leave you alone.”

And whom is this NEW meditator? What authority do you have? No one is asking ANYONE to act as a go-between us sisters and Joan.

It is NOT ABOUT who is saying what to whom…its ALL ABOUT THE TRUTH. Joan’s book is an totally untruth account of our lives and other’s lives, our lives have been exploited by Joan for the purpose of a hopeful income from sales of a book that is nothing but a detailed account of her own tormented life. Have you ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK?

Have you REALLY READ OUR BLOG? Our we sisters asking anyone out there to meditate between us and Joan? No, because there will never be any because Joan doesn’t want any, she just wants us GONE and we are not going away until we answer every page of that book and more.

What is being lost here is that what Joan has written in the book, forbidden family, is far worst than ‘scathing’ and the ONLY reason that Joan is reacting to her sisters is BECAUSE we are EXPOSING her lies! She just can’t stand that other people are NOT GOING TO ALLOW HER TO slander, fabricate, misrepresent us in print or on the internet. We are here to tell the truth.

We sisters are NOT harassing her, we are writing a blog REFUTING what is in the book forbidden family. We are writing about what ACTUALLY happened, to us, we are not writing a book, we are not after any fame or money…we want the truth of our lives restored. It is about HONOR. Joan can say all she wants, but she is a liar and we are honor-bound to expose her.

She will NEVER stop, she will just find some other ‘friend’ to try and get the birth sisters to shut up, we will not go away, we will expose every lie in that book, in our blog, that is our right, its called freedom of expression.

‘A man may die, but his character remains. His thoughts remain. It is the character that gives real force and power to man. Character is power’…  Sivanada.

Ruth – November 15, 2010
I emailed this supporter of Joan, and in my email, I told him NOT to contact me. And he did.
Excuse me. Mr. Thomas – this is harassment. Now you have joined the ranks of harassers.
Mr. Thomas has left numerous comments here. In his very first one, he called me a bitch – then he starts saying that I should think logically, then he says he only wanted to help.
Excuse me Mr. Thomas – who asked you to help?
Do you think I would want help from someone who first calls me a bitch, then implys that I don’t think straight?
Mr. Thomas’s comments have been flagged as spam both here on my blog and my personal email account. I sent him an email this morning to send him the link to Joan’s new blogsite because he had the smug gall to believe that a month ago (October 2010) he was able to convince Joan to remove lies about us from her forbiddenfamily.net site.
I wanted to show Mr. Thomas that Joan, the quintessential liar, lied to him when she assured him that she would remove the offensive material.
oh, she is slick – she removed it all right – and placed it on another website.
Mr. Thomas – you are a fool.
You do not know Joan – WE do.
But knock your socks off – keep writing – but I don’t read it – it goes directly into my spam – and that gets automatically emptied. ta ta dear!

3. Gert – November 15, 2010
And this guy and others ought to take another look at Joan’s site, under, the book, a disclaimer,about how everything in the book is true…

She has NOT REMOVED the mention of us on that site, but has referred people to the new blog. If her blog is about ADOPTION REFORM and only ADOPTION REFORM than there should be NO MENTION OF US SISTERS. Joan is very good at hiding what she needs to hide elsewhere. ..We sisters are not hiding, everything we are doing, is recorded on this blog.

UPDATE, JULY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

 

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Comments

1. Gert - November 15, 2010

a supporter of Joan said to Ruth…

“I went to the cyberbulliesstalkers and it is pretty scathing. It is no worse than what you all have said about her. I feel confident that is the last internet posting she will do about you. She let it all out. Now you can all now let it go. Go on Leave her alone and she will leave you alone.”

And whom is this NEW meditator? What authority do you have? No one is asking ANYONE to act as a go-between us sisters and Joan.

It is NOT ABOUT who is saying what to whom…its ALL ABOUT THE TRUTH. Joan’s book is an totally untruth account of our lives and other’s lives, our lives have been exploited by Joan for the purpose of a hopeful income from sales of a book that is nothing but a detailed account of her own tormented life. Have you ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK?

Have you REALLY READ OUR BLOG? Our we sisters asking anyone out there to meditate between us and Joan? No, because there will never be any because Joan doesn’t want any, she just wants us GONE and we are not going away until we answer every page of that book and more.

What is being lost here is that what Joan has written in the book, forbidden family, is far worst than ‘scathing’ and the ONLY reason that Joan is reacting to her sisters is BECAUSE we are EXPOSING her lies! She just can’t stand that other people are NOT GOING TO ALLOW HER TO slander, fabricate, misrepresent us in print or on the internet. We are here to tell the truth.

We sisters are NOT harassing her, we are writing a blog REFUTING what is in the book forbidden family. We are writing about what ACTUALLY happened, to us, we are not writing a book, we are not after any fame or money…we want the truth of our lives restored. It is about HONOR. Joan can say all she wants, but she is a liar and we are honor-bound to expose her.

She will NEVER stop, she will just find some other ‘friend’ to try and get the birth sisters to shut up, we will not go away, we will expose every lie in that book, in our blog, that is our right, its called freedom of expression.

‘A man may die, but his character remains. His thoughts remain. It is the character that gives real force and power to man. Character is power’…
Sivanada

2. Ruth - November 15, 2010

I emailed this supporter of Joan, and in my email, I told him NOT to contact me. And he did.
Excuse me. Mr. Thomas – this is harassment. Now you have joined the ranks of harassers.
Mr. Thomas has left numerous comments here. In his very first one, he called me a bitch – then he starts saying that I should think logically, then he says he only wanted to help.
Excuse me Mr. Thomas – who asked you to help?
Do you think I would want help from someone who first calls me a bitch, then implys that I don’t think straight?
Mr. Thomas’s comments have been flagged as spam both here on my blog and my personal email account. I sent him an email this morning to send him the link to Joan’s new blogsite because he had the smug gall to believe that a month ago (October 2010) he was able to convince Joan to remove lies about us from her forbiddenfamily.net site.
I wanted to show Mr. Thomas that Joan, the quintessential liar, lied to him when she assured him that she would remove the offensive material.
oh, she is slick – she removed it all right – and placed it on another website.
Mr. Thomas – you are a fool.
You do not know Joan – WE do.
But knock your socks off – keep writing – but I don’t read it – it goes directly into my spam – and that gets automatically emptied. ta ta dear!

3. Gert - November 15, 2010

And this guy and others ought to take another look at Joan’s site, under, the book, a disclaimer,about how everything in the book is true…

She has NOT REMOVED the mention of us on that site, but has referred people to the new blog. If her blog is about ADOPTION REFORM and only ADOPTION REFORM than there should be NO MENTION OF US SISTERS. Joan is very good at hiding what she needs to hide elsewhere…

we sisters are not hiding, everything we are doing, is recorded on this blog.


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