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New information, placed by Joan Wheeler, on the Forbidden Family web site, dated or updated early November 2010. – then cowardly removed with no explanation or apology around November 22. November 24, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Introduction by Ruth Pace:     I received this via email from Gert McQueen on Monday, November 22, 2010. Altho she wrote it about a week before she emailed it to me. Checking on Google’s November 22, 2010 cache of Joan Wheeler’s Forbidden Family today (November 24), Gert discovers the offending material has been removed!!! With no explanation, and certainly no apology to her sisters, who she was bashing about again.

Joan has done this before – she gets on her website and types out some shit – then when she gets called out on the carpet for it, she removes it. She forgets that the internet is forever. Google keeps a record of it. But that’s not what I’m writing about – I’m writing about how we see Joan for what she is when she attacks – waits for her victims to read what she writes, then she erases!  Like a true bully – attack and run – remove the evidence – then she can turn on the little Miss Innocent routine – “what? ME? Little ol’ ME – write nasty stuff about my sisters? Oh no – you must be confused. I’ve NEVER written anything bad about my sisters. Here – go look at my website – do you see anything bad about my sisters there? No, see, when my sisters say there’s stuff on my website – they are harassing and stalking me.”

roflmao at your childish, COWARDLY BULLYING ways Joan – What’s the matter Joan? Don’t you have the courage of your convictions? When you say something, whether in person or on the internet, have the dam backbone to STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU SAY! By backing down, you show the world the ass you really are. I have removed not ONE thing from this blog – because I stand for what I say. If it is not the truth – I won’t write it in the first place! I don’t back down from what I stand for. I am Woman enough to believe in what I write. Not Joan. She’s a sniveling little coward.  – or if she admits to being Human, and Making a Mistake, does she STAND UP and admit it? Or when she does wrong – (whether caught in the act, or better yet, BEFORE someone catches it) – does she STAND UP and be a Woman and explain she was in the wrong, take responsibilty for her actions and APOLOGIZE for what she has written? NOPE! Because as I said – she’s a sniveling little coward!  well – here ‘s Gert’s  piece anyway – it really isn’t moot at all, because it is important to address these things anyway. —

Why is this shit still on Joan Wheeler’s web site for the book Forbidden Family and adoption reform? This crap NEEDS to be removed from that site! Joan told her friends that she removed it, obviously she did not. So…I shall have to address the issues again…myself…until Joan removes these references to her blood sisters on a site that has nothing to do with us.

In response to my (Gert) sending emails to Doctor Rene Hoksbergen, and others, about his ‘review’ of the book and my comments about his review, Joan Wheeler decided that she had to rework what she had on her blog, about us sisters and also she had to create a new blog…about us. And just who is obsessed with whom, I ask you? Joan is very very worried about how much we sisters are writing about her book, for you see, she is afraid of what is coming up! Yep, Joan knows the truth and she has seen in the past year that we sisters are very determined to expose all lies of Joan’s. So she must ‘head us off at the pass’, so to speak, by continuing her basic rap that we sisters are after her and that we are harming her etc etc. (and even though some don’t like ‘rap’ that is exactly what Joan does…she has her own form of ‘rap’)

Joan’s statements begin with *** my comments begin with (Gert answers)

***My blood kin sisters have recently banned together to write their own blogs spreading filthy lies about me, saying that I am actively harming them by bullying them. I am not. Just because they say I am does not mean their statements are true. They are doing this all themselves. They let the world know they were in the book because they identified themselves. They are the ones bashing me.

(Gert answers) There is no need, now or in the past, for us sisters to ban together…we have always been against Joan’s writing about our lives, she is the one who has totally disregarded our wishes about NOT WRITING ABOUT US. It wasn’t until the book was published that she and everyone else has heard from us. And, what she has written about us, are total lies. Just because Joan says she is telling the truth…we know and are showing, that she lies! Spreading filthy lies about her? Like what? Give us an example, Joan, answer our accusations against you. Give your evidences to our lies. You can’t, can you, because we are telling the truth and you know it.

(Gert answers) Joan IS ‘actively harming’ us by ‘bullying’ us by her repeatedly putting in print that we sisters are …’perpetrated sexual assault upon me, made false allegations of sexual Child Abuse’…and more fantastical statements. She NEVER once provides PROOF of these statement, but alas for her, we sisters DO PROVIDE PROOF of what we say. That is not bullying that is truth telling!

(Gert answers) A bully when confronted, seeks shelter by hiding behind others while screaming that they are a victim. Where do you see the blood sisters of Joan Wheeler doing any of that? You don’t, but, you do see Joan doing that. She finds shelter in her friends to whom she cries ‘help me, I’m a victim’. You do not see the blood sisters of Joan doing that! You do not see the blood sisters screaming that we are victims…we are truth tellers, we are exposing the lies that Joan Wheeler has put in print!

(Gert answers) We identified ourselves, as being in the book, only AFTER Joan went out there and told the world who we were, long before we started addressing the book and getting a blog ourselves. And…Joan herself, in the book, puts out our family name and anyone who is at all familiar with us or curious enough, would be able to figure out who were are. To have never mentioned our family name would have been the way to go, but Joan couldn’t do that because she HAD TO TELL HER LIFE story, with total disregard for others. That argument, that we identified ourselves, Joan, holds no water, it is just another excuse for you to try to get sympathy with and on. You never had our permission to write about us in a book, period.

(Gert answers) Joan states that ‘They are the ones bashing me.’ No we are not, we are using Joan’s own words, from her own book to prove our points. That is called constructive criticism and is quite acceptable when applied to a written work. We also are addressing untrue statements in the book. That again is quite acceptable. We can’t bash someone who has already ‘bashed’ themselves in their own work! Read your own book Joan.

 ***As instructed by the police and by Word Press and by my own website’s tech support, I have written a blog calling for my sisters to Cease and Desist their cruel behavior (even calling for me to kill myself and calling me names.) Please see the following blog for my statements defending myself: http://cyberbulliesstalkers.blogspot.com/.

(Gert answers) I doubt very much that Joan has spoken to the police. If she did they don’t listen to her, because she calls them for any and all kinds of perceived threats against her. She cries to the police and tells them that all three of her sisters are doing this or that to her when we are not. I personally spoke with her local police station, when I heard she gave them my name as harassing her and they told me, ‘don’t worry about it, we understand what she’s like’! Her local police station is fully aware of her hysterical calls of being harassed!

(Gert answers) A Cease and Desist order on a personal blog means nothing…it is just a personal opinion and a wish. There is nothing that I and my sisters are doing that is against any law…we are using our rights of freedom of speech and expression. We are doing a very in depth book review and commentary on the author. Any one who writes a book is subjected to that. Anyone who writes about ‘living people’ are subjected to severe criticisms from those persons. Get Real, Joan!

***There are no cyberbullying laws in New York State so I cannot call law enforcement for protection. I have been the victim of harassment and bullying from my three sisters for many decades. They have taken disagreements to the extreme.

(Gert answers) I really don’t know, about the what the laws are, but I do know something about bullying! As I just said, she can’t call law enforcement because they already have heard enough from her…she screams ‘wolf’ so many times, no one listens anymore. No Joan it has not been decades! You have heard from me only twice in 30 years! After you called child abuse on me and destroyed my family in 1982, you did not see me again until 1992. After that short visit you again betrayed me. The next time you heard from me was a very short phone call around 2005 or 06 when Dad was ill. On both those occasions, you smiled to my face, told me you loved me and then when my back was turned, spoke falsehoods about me and lied to others about me. So stop telling lies, you are a two-faced liar! You are only hearing from me now because you published a book of lies and I, for one, will put truth to every lie in the book, for no one gets the right to tell falsehoods about me and get away with it.

***I have no contact whatsoever with the three sisters who found me. They are mean and unstable people. I want only positive and loving people in my life. My sisters have caused a great deal of torment in my life, but they are not the focus of my reunion nor my life. I, alone, am the adoptee. My book is about my life and how adoption effected me and my immediate adoptive family, my non ex-husband and our children. (Ruth’s note: Really, then why does she write about MY inability to have children? Or that I have had relationships with men who are not of the same race as I, or a whole chapter about her and me going to New York in 1975, going to bars together, and movies? Or a whole chapter about her going to Arizona to visit her birth brother? – see how Joan LIES about everything!)

(Gert answers) Oh, I am SO GLAD you have no contact with me, physical contact that is. I can’t wait to get finished with this book review and commentary because you are so sick that it jumps right out of the pages! I have learned far more about you, by reading your book, that I ever cared to know! I am mean! Reading your book sounds like a horror movie! I am unstable! Have you read your own book, Joan? It is a 600 page account of one sick unstable person, named Joan Wheeler! Have you no shame? Have you no decency? Apparently not!

 (Gert answers) You, Joan, want only positive and loving people in your life! What a laugh, what a joke! Is that why you are on that adult adoptee forum where all the sick-minded victims of adoption hang out and feed on each other and then go out there on the internet and harass and browbeat adoptive parents and potential adoptive parents? Oh, excuse me, I see it is THOSE kinds of positive and loving people you want in your life! Sick, sick, sick!

(Gert answers) We sisters have caused you NO amount of torment in your life…that honor is all your own, dear. You relish your torment! You would cease to BE if you couldn’t blame others for what is in your head, that you put there all by yourself. Why don’t you sit down and READ your book, Joan, and find out where your torment comes from!

(Gert answers) Yes, you alone are the adoptee, good for you, you can continue to play the victim. Your book is NOT ABOUT your life. Your life is not in a separate compartment that you can separate from every person that you have met. Your book is about your PERCEPTION of your life, it is about your INNER LIFE. How adoption has effected you is how you CHOOSE to have it affect you. You have chosen to be a victim, so therefore you are. It’s all your own doing. If, as you say, the blood sisters are not about your life or book, then please tell us all why the hell have you made us into your vision of us and why are we in your book? And why is this crap still on a web site devoted to adoption reform?

(Gert answers) In comparison to us sisters….your ex-husband and children hardly have any part in your life, they are hardly mentioned in the book…so who are you kidding! No one! Your real beef, Joan, is with your adoptive mother. Why don’t you start by telling the truth for a change.

(Gert answers) Now, get this crap off the web page for Forbidden Family, it has no business there…if someone buys your book, for $40-50 they can read about us sisters, they don’t need to hear about us on the web page. Get it? Better still, Joan, why don’t you GIVE ME THE BOOK!

Better yet, Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on her web sites, and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!

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