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reposting: bullying untruths – and we can see thru your little games Joan Wheeler – why are you lying about dates when you post on your own website? November 24, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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Reposting this – Bullying Untruths – and we can see through your little games Joan Wheeler – why are you lying about dates when you post on your own website?  from September 23, 2010

Because as Gert says “it would help reference back to that post because it does address the many comments that Rus old boy thought were ‘scathing’, in order words, we have addressed over and over again, the many lies that Joan puts out there….”

AND…CHECK THE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATE…

Okay, here we have some MORE manipulation and BULLYING  by Joan Wheeler. Supposedly, back in May 2010, Joan added more nonsense to her website. We Three Sippel Sisters did not see this lying nonsense until September 18. Contrary to Joan’s insistence that we are visiting her website and stalking her. We do check out her site from time to time. And guess what – even though her cyberbullying page is listed as being updated on May 18 (or May – it wasn’t there until just recently. A Google cache snapshop of the page on September 6, 2010, does NOT show her additional little snotty FALLACIES,, not FACTS of her miserable life or her sisters. Joan forgets that the internet is for keeps. And things can be sooooo easily checked.

So there you go Rus – contrary to what she told you – she is NOT interested in keeping the peace, or stopping the lies,  because as her little addition of  September, 2010, and backdating it to May 2010, she continues to post garbage about us. And we claim the right to know what is being is written about us. Call it “stalking” if you will – but it is NOT stalking – it is ferreting out Joan Wheeler’s lies and then refuting them here on this website. Joan’s addition is a paragraph telling lies about each of her sisters and lists them as FACTS. These are far from FACTS – these are fallacies, fallacies made up by Joan in a further attempt to damage the reputations of her sisters – these are in FACT – crimes of harassment and STALKING! And these fallacies are twisted reportings of personal items and events in the lives of her sisters. what are you doing Joan? Practicing writing for the tabloids? Your “reporting” and writing skills is just on that level.

I have already refuted the FALLACIES of Joan’s bullshit about me with my post of September 20, 2010: Facts, facts, facts – Joan Wheeler makes up facts to suit her own fantasies. But the real facts are quite different.  This current post is Gert’s answers to Joan’s bullying FALLACIES.

This is indeed the last time we will answer any more of Joan’s continued little additional “facts” about us, because frankly, we see no reason why Joan keeps coming up with these “new” additional facts. I mean, didn’t she write a whole dam book about us? oh wait – it’s a book about her – right? WRONG – the book is all about all the little sins that her sisters committed against her. I mean it’s over 600 pages long – but she keeps finding more stuff in the little recesses of her little mind to tattle about us. And most of these “new”facts are just rehasing of what she has said in the book, and even incredibliy enough, DIRECT CONTRADICTIONS OF WHAT SHE HAD SAID IN THE BOOK! She changes the FACTS of her own FACTS – and we have pointed out each and every contradiction. And that is getting dam tiring – so keep on typing your silly lies, Joan, keep on changing the facts of events every time you retell it, we are getting back to the business at hand – refuting all the lies contained in your book. I now turn the podium over to Gert –

From Gert –
my answers to part of the bullying untruths update supposedly of May 2010, but in reality, September 2010.

On Joan Wheeler’s site she posted, yet again, various untruths about her birth sisters. She has called us ‘the three Sippel sisters’ but she doesn’t include herself, even though she was ‘born’ a Sippel and is our blood sister. The title she has given us is because she fully believes that our entire lives have been devoted to destroying hers. Untrue. We are devoted to restoring honor to our own lives. She also says we are bullying her, untrue, we are only defending ourselves against all the untruths that Joan has printed about us. I am here addressing a couple of things that Joan has said, in an update supposedly on May 8, 2010, but in reality, September 2010. I am only addressing statements related to myself or those that I can speak about.

Joan states:  Here are facts about my life:

Gert answers: this statement is first of all an untruth, for her life has nothing to do with our lives, we are all individuals. Secondly, hasn’t Joan already written a ‘truthful’ account of her life? Then why are these statements, from September 2010, NOT in the book. Did she forget about them? No, she just wants to trash us again. How can she write a true account of her life and have ‘forgotten’ these facts. In fact these statements of Joan’s are her attempt to continue to trash us and she does it by the continued use of emblishments and exaggerations. To her mind, the more she can emblish a tale the worst she can make us out to be. But the truth of the matter is, is that by doing so, emblishing, she is showing everyone just how worried she is that her sisters are indeed telling the truth.

Joan states: Fact:   The three Sippel sisters, Gert, Kathy and Ruth, have written letters to all of the major adoption reform organizations in 1992 telling them what an asshole I am, and they wrote me a letter “throwing” me out of the family. This was after and during their barrage of hate mail and hate phone calls to me, harassing me, my husband and children, for decades. They do not want me in their lives and I do not want them in my life. I am not corresponding with them in any way at all, not even reading their hateful blogs about me. (Ruth’s note – in the book she says it was 9 agencies – now she changes it to ALL the agencies. AND in the book she contradicts herself on the harassing mail and phone calls she recieved. First she says it came from us, then she says it came from her adopted uncle John Wheeler, who was finally caught by the police).

Gert answers:  Why the need to repeat this, it’s all in the book. Joan likes to repeat herself many times over frequently making the fish bigger than the last time she told the story. And Joan is an asshole, want else is new! We sisters have recently answered part of this issue of the great ’1992 letter writing’ on our blog. I myself have written about the entire book and my posts will appear in sequential order in due time. But truth is there were NO letters written to adoption organizations.

We probably did write a letter ‘throwing’ her out of the family. I have had two contacts with Joan since I divorced her in 1982, a physical visit in 1992 and a phone call in 2005. I never harassed her, her children or her adoptive mother. I DIVORCED myself from her, after her repeated interference within my marriage and my minor children and my parental authority and her calling child abuse upon me, which was proved totally unfounded. What she writes in her book is again a fabrication and twisting of the true facts. I have written about those incidents and they will be posted in due time.

Here is an example of how Joan twists facts. She writes in the book that she called child abuse on me, for fear for my child and that my child was ‘removed’ from my home because of abuse. That is false. The truth is, my child had behavioral and run-away issues. After Joan kept my run-away child from me and lied to the family about my child’s whereabouts,  it was I that called the police and I that requested a hearing in Family Court. It was THEN THAT JOAN CALLED CHILD ABUSE ON ME AND SUED ME FOR CUSTODY OF MY CHILD. It was I who had Family Court place my child in a foster home due to the behavioral and running away issues. No one took my child from me. I placed her in foster care for her safety and to keep her away from Joan. It was I who requested a home study done on Joan and she failed it. But, I have written in depth on this and it will eventually get on the blog. 

We are refutting Joan book of lies to restore our honor that she has sullied, garbaged and dishonored and we shall continue to expose Joan’s dirty deeds and words.

Joan states:  Fact:   My eldest sister, Gert, sexually molested me repeatedly during the first years of our reunion. No, this was not Genetic Sexual Attraction (as known in adoption psychology) this was initiated by drug and alcohol to intoxicate and to seduce me. She said it was “a way to get back to Momma”. So my eldest sister had her own idea of sex with me as she missed our dead mother and used me to that end. This first occurred when I was 20 years old and continued for about two years, which was two years after being found by this sister. It does not matter that I was “old enough to know better” because I was vulnerable from being found and having to deal with reunion and betrayal of my adoptive parents at that stage of young adulthood.

Additionally, my eldest sister was 29 years old at the time and in a position of authority over me (eldest sister to youngest sister). Keep in mind that I was raised an only child, too, and had no counselor or therapist to help me.  

 Gert answers:    So why didn’t Joan put this in the book? Only here, only after I came out publically to refute all her lies in her book does she state that I molested her repeatly for years. What a bunch of crap! As I’ve said before this never happened. This is just another example of emblishments and exaggerations to show that she has been victimized, which is her core belief. I have written about this and it will all come out in the wash when my extensive blog posts are posted. She writes with the purpose of sensationalizing everything, she combines and twists things to make her tale more believable than the usual nothing that in fact happened. And no where in the book does she tell the tales of her own sexual encounters.

Joan says that I seduced her as “a way to get back to Momma”, what the hell does that mean? and “So my eldest sister had her own idea of sex with me as she missed our dead mother and used me to that end.” What planet is Joan from? This is an expression of Joan’s own mind, this is how Joan thinks. I don’t think this way. What kind of sexual fantasy does Joan have that is ‘a way back to Momma’? What was it that she wanted from me in the first place?
(Ruth’s note – Well, my goodness! Gee, I grew up with Gert – we were in the same foster home together – in my teen years, I was her babysitter – we had many in depth talks – we drank together – never did drugs together, cried together about our dead mom, but NEVER did Gert make any sexual advances towards me to get back to Momma! Also, when I was 13, Gert who was married and pregnant with her second child, had me stay at her house for a weekend, where she gave me the birds and the bees talk. A very sexual conversation. With a very naive 13 year old. Gert did not take advantage of me then, or even later down the road when I was in my 20′s and we had some very graphic girl “locker room” talks. And by the way, Joan and I had some graphic girl “locker room” talks too, along with some raunchy jokes! And before the accusations start – I didn’t make any sexual advances to Joan either! And as to her allegations of threesomes with Gert, with Kathy, I’m beginning to think it was a sexual fantasy of Joan to have sex with Gert and Kathy, and possibly me – because most of her writings of FACTS is really FANTASIES!
 
Joan continues to say “It does not matter that I was “old enough to know better” because I was vulnerable from being found and having to deal with reunion and betrayal of my adoptive parents at that stage of young adulthood. Additionally, my eldest sister was 29 years old at the time and in a position of authority over me (eldest sister to youngest sister). Keep in mind that I was raised an only child, too, and had no counselor or therapist to help me. “

God damn it Joan grow up!!! Don’t you have a voice of her own to speak up and say anything, when something is happening to you? What are you, a sponge that anyone can squeeze and you just sit there and do nothing! What a cop-out to say that at age 20 you didn’t have to ‘know better’! You were vulnerable! Bull shit, a cop-out!

You poor thing! you had to deal with reunion and betrayal at such a stage of young adutlhood, what kind of stupid thing is that? Who are you talking to, yourself? No adult in their right mind believes such a statement. No, you know exactly what you are doing and these statements prove it. You are a manipulator and you are using clinical type words to describe a NON-EVENT.  Just because I’m older than you doesn’t give me any authority over you, that is totally in your own mind, another cop-out.

Oh you poor dear, you were raised as an only child without a counselor or therapist to help you! And I, did I have a therapist? And your siblings did they have a counselor or a therapist! And has every child in the world have a therapist! Are really that stupid and brain dead to think that you needed a counselor and therapist to be a real person who is capable of taking responsibility for your own life!! Do you really believe that a therapist would stop you from being a victim? If that is so, then you have wasted a lot of time and money because you are still a self-declared victim, everyone dumps on you. Get in line folks, pick up some shit and dump it on Joan…she loves being dumped on!

Ruth’s note – Joan was NOT as naive as she portrays herself here – she told me she became sexually active at 16. (1972). And in 1975, when we attended the Star Trek convention in New York City, we had discussions about the two year old Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion, and both our uncertainties about that decision, trying to balance our repulsion against abortion, and our supporting a woman’s right to choose what she wants about her body. As much as I had many frank woman issues talks with Gert, I had a lot more of those types of talks with Joan – we each had a copy of “Our Bodies, Our Selves,” a book that not only talked about the physicality of a woman’s body, but touched on women’s issues that were never fully discussed before. It was a breakthrough for feminists and women everywhere in the early 1970′s. And Joan and I were both Feminists, and Women’s Libbers! Joan was quite knowledgeable about her body, and her sexuality. She was not a Veronica Virgin here – and she went out to the disco’s and bars with me and my first husband Abdo, sometimes double dating with her as Abdo’s brother Ali’s date. And the four of us drank – and smoked marijuana together. She did not sleep with Ali, because she had a steady boyfriend back in college, a black boy named Manuel. But she and Manuel did have sexual relations – how do I know these things? Because she told me? Because we were quite close – contrary to her recent lies that we (and that includes me) have been nothing but trouble to her since 1974. If I was such a trouble to you Joan, why did we have such frank girl-talks?
 
Joan states: Fact:   We lost our mother at her death when we were young children. They lost their baby sister to adoption and I lost my entire family due to adoption. My siblings violated our father’s privacy and confidentiality by contacting me when I was 18 without consulting him. My siblings violated my adoptive parents’ privacy and mine by contacting me when I was still in high school.        My siblings violated me in many ways.

Gert answers:    And we were not the only ones who has lost a mother. Adoption is not the issue, the real issue is in Joan’s diseased mind. We did not violate Dad’s privacy and confidentiality by contacting Joan. I spoke with an lawyer and an adoption agency and was told that siblings have the right to make contact on their own merits. No laws were broken, it is only in Joan’s diseased mind that she believes such. Again, being in high school is not the issue, she was 18, legal age, in NY State and was able to be contacted by birth family members. It is only in the adoptive family that there was and is this unhealthy view that Joan’s adoption was a secret.

Beside the violations that Joan has stated, could she please give us more details as to the ‘many ways’, we have violated her. This is a totally diseased  mind’s statement.

Joan states:    All of this could have been avoided had someone stepped in to help our father at the time his wife died to keep the family together. I have nothing but sympathy for my siblings who are suffering tremendously; we should be family instead of being torn apart. They found me because they wanted their baby sister, but they were not willing to accept the responsibility that goes with finding an adoptee who was unaware of the truth. I suffered the most in this separation and reunion. I want to spend the rest of my days in peace, free from their contact and harassment. But they follow me online, write to other bloggers and to professionals in adoption to interfere with my goals of adoption reform. They are actively involving themselves in my life, reading my blog, contacting people they have no business contacting. Enough already. I want to live in peace without them in my life. Ruth’s note – ahh, Dictator Joan is going to tell me I have no right to contact adoption experts – when she herself continues to insist that adoption has affected me and my sisters – well then if ADOPTION has affected me, than I DO have the business to contact them. – listen puppy, I will contact whomever I want – YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME JOAN – I WILL NOT OBEY YOU!

Gert answers: Joan refuses to accept reality. Period, life happens, death happens, decisions are made, life goes on, deal with it.

If Joan has sympathy for her siblings who are suffering, why is she continuing to tell lies? Again, Joan, stop blaming the birth family for your faults and your inability to be ‘part of the family’. It was you alone Joan, who violated everyone’s privacy and confidentiality by repeating, in print, things about the family that never should  have been repeated, period. It was you alone Joan who systematically destroyed every relationship that has ever come to you. Face the fact, Joan you are a sick puppy and you need to take the blame.

Ruth’s note – again, Joan REFUSES to see the realities of 1956. When my mother died, my father was left with 5 little kids – aged 3 months to 9 years – there was no welfare system like we have today – my father had to go to work – there were no daycare centers back then either – and even today, many daycare centers will NOT take care of infants. My father had no siblings – his parents were elderly – his mother worked – his father had one leg and was deaf – how was he going to run around taking care of 5 little kids? My mother’s siblings were either older as well and couldn’t deal with little ones and infant, or they had a bunch of little kids at home. My Uncle Richard did take Joan in for 3 months, but his wife was pregnant – and they all said they could take in 1 or 2, but not all 5.
As for Joan saying she suffered the most – yeah well, I can show you a lot of little kids all over the world who suffered even MORE than Joan, so just suck it up! For crying out loud Joan it is the year 2010 – WHEN are you going to live for NOW?

So the Sippel Family got a bad deal- Mama got cancer and died at the age of 30 – what could her life been had she lived? She was fond of country + western music, and was an artist. In some of her pictures she shows a tremendous sense of humor – and great love as she holds her god-daughter Judy. All 5 of us grew up not knowing this remarkable woman, but what disservice are you doing to her Joan that you are not living up to your potential? You have 2 college degrees, an artist in your right – you whine you can’t work because of your health problem. But you seem to have no problem finding the time to get on your computer and type out lie after lie.
When I first met Joan – she had a huge weaving loom set up in the family dining room and was proud of a Native American shawl she had already woven. She was a member of the Buffalo Indian Dance group –    Joan – your kids are grown – why are you not back into your dancing? Or your weaving? My god – I have so many interests I can’t get to them because I have to work – I am eagerly w aiting for retirement so I can devote more time to them!

In other words Joan: GET A LIFE! 1956 is in the past. Mom is DEAD AND GONE. Our childhood is GONE! Our teens and twentys, the years of self-discovery are OVER! Our thirties and forties, where we start settling in are OVER! We are in our fifties and sixties, where we start looking back at our lives and start filling in the holes and start seeing our mistakes and start correcting them begin.
And actually, if you have been a complete and whole human being, those mistakes would have been corrected years ago and NOT REPEATED over and over. And self-discovery never actually ends – I am still growing, and still discovering things about myself. I get better every year! Not so for Joan – she is still stuck like she were 10 years old, with telling little lies about her sisters. She keeps wishing that her mother hadn’t died – then her life would have been so much better. Yeah, right, so what? Same thing goes for me – I was 3 years old when my mother died. My life would have been so much better if MY mother hadn’t died too. YOU DON’T SEE ME LAYING AROUND MY HOUSE LIKE A DRIED UP OLD PRUNE TELLING LIE AFTER LIE AND WASTING MORE THAN 30 YEARS OF MY LIFE ON A TRASHY LYING BOOK! You don’t see me going to therapist after therapist, but not learing one dam thing from them! After Joan stole from me in 1990, I kicked her out of my life – it is now 19 years later – and she’s still whining about the same things she was whining about back then! And even after all the crap Joan did to me in the 90′s I had moved on from them – but then comes her book – with it’s lies and the reason I am writing about her misdeeds is to set the record straight!

Joan states:   With all this hateful rage they spew, their goal is to make my life a living hell. They have achieved their goal.

Gert answers:  No, not true. Only you Joan are responsible for your life and whether it is heaven or hell. I have nothing to do with your life. Your life is what you have made of it, not anything from me.
Ruth’s note – and if our setting the record straight from her lying book is making her life a living hell – well, that is all on her – she had a choice – she could have written a truthful book, instead she wrote a lying book. Now she needs to take the consequences of her actions.
 

Joan states:   If these people really do not want me in their lives, they need to stop. I do not want them in mine. By giving ignorance a voice, perhaps they will leave me alone. I have real life to tend to, and adoption reform is a big part of my life.

Gert answers:  If by these people she means her sisters, we will stop when Joan pulls the book of lies from all sales and gives us a public apology for the lies she has told about us and the family. Obviously Joan WANTS us in her life for she just wrote this piece, which I only answered part of, in September of 2010! Adoption reform! Reform yourself Joan Wheeler, it is after all your life.
Ruth’s note – yes, Joan wants us in her life – On September 22, 2010, she wrote again about us. On the internet.- saying that we had harassed her adoptive parents – and this is another lie. Her adoptive father died in 1982 – I always liked the guy and visited him a couple of times in the hospital! I really never liked her adoptive mother, but was always respectful of her, and always addressed her as Mrs. Wheeler, in a respectful way.I never harassed her. And neither did my sisters. Joan can write all she wants about HER life, but when she writes about US – she is obviously showing us and the world, that she is the one who cannot let go of US!

UPDATE November 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

 

 

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Comments

1. The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part one. « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - November 30, 2010

[…] Joan had placed on her site. I suggest folks recheck that entry to see what I had already said. reposting: bullying untruths – and we can see thru your little games Joan Wheeler – why are you …  (Ruth’s note: this is a repost of it, from November 24, […]


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