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Getting Back to Basics – Refuting the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 24, 2010

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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The past couple of months have been quite busy. Joan Wheeler has been upset because we found and refutted some major lies in her book Forbidden Family, published by Trafford Publishing. We posted an email from adoption expert Joe Soll wherein he said what Joan reported about him in the book was “patently false.” We posted an open letter to adoption expert Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, who wrote the forward to the book, because he wrote an unprofessional review of the book, based on his belief of some Joan’s lies. He never bothered to check out the facts of some of the things Joan alleges in the book, took Joan’s word as gospel truth, and by doing so, is a partner in the sullying of Gert McQueen’s character. Joan didn’t like this, took the stance that we were “pestering adoption experts,” and began attacking us on various places on the internet. And we answered every one of her attacks with our truths!

But now the time has come to get back to the major thrust of this blog – Refuting the Book Forbidden Family.

Gert has already written several posts, and they are backlogged right now. Our method is, Gert writes her review, going through the book page by page, sometimes paragraph by paragraph, then I read it, and the chapters and pages in the book that Gert is writing about, I add my own comments, or whole separate post, and then it all gets posted on the blog. Our next section will be Chapter 22, which begins, coincedentally, on page 222. I have other committments in my life, but this section will be posted the first week in January 2011.

In the meantime, to refresh anyone’s memories, or to get new readers up to speed on some of the more blatant lies we have found in the book, here is a listing of posts wherein we have found lies, and the TRUTH behind those lies. You can find these and more by looking at the list of categories over on the right hand side and seeing posts listed under those categories. by the way, many of these posts are accompanied with graphics – I have scanned actual court documents, photographs, even letters written by Joan herself, which prove without a shadow of a doubt that she LIED in the book.

A Listing of Lies told by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family and elsewhere

Lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler is full of lies

Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler pages 316, 324, and 330 Clear evidence of lies

A most vile and hateful lie in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family

A Challenge to Joan Wheeler – Would You Please Explain the Various Court Documents and YOUR own Letters That Prove YOU are a LIAR?

Open letter to Professor Rene Hoksbergen and rebuttal of his “professional” review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family – Personal psychodrama, lies and other things that don’t belong in a book.

Joan Wheeler – Forbidden Family Chapter 14 – Refutted!

Joan Wheeler LIES about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen in her book Forbidden Family


 Joan tells a vicious lie about her own godparents on page 319 of Forbidden Family

 Why did Joan Wheeler write her book Forbidden Family? pure and simple: it is for revenge!

 Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family deliberately falsifiies the facts

 Joan Wheeler issues press release for her “new” book – no, it’s still the stupid book of idiotic lies, and even her press release is bull.    (and after we complained to the webhost, her press release got yanked, due to the falsehoods in her book)

 Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler should be revised

 What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.

 Kathy Inglis’ answers to Joan Wheeler’s caricature of her in the book Forbidden Family

 Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind?

 Joan Wheeler, in her book Forbidden Family, can’t tell the difference between a dog and a cat. WTF?

1. LisaMarie – January 5, 2011 
I have been reading your blog. It makes sense to me. I came to your sight in reading about adoption reform (I oppose adoption reform- I am for mutual consent). I relize that is not your interest. However, that is how I have read about your sister, half orphan. She needs help. She says she is a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to work with anyone I know. Perhaps that is why she is unemployed. I find the whole group of reformers to be full of hate, self centered and many should get psychological help. Any normal person beside reformer could read you blog and understand what went on. A different time, a difficult situation that your whole family has gone through. You and your sisters and dad are dealing with life your sister is stuck in a pity party and will never move on. Her life will be miserable until she gets the help to deal with the issues she has. As much as I would like to say move on forget about her till she gets help I realize that those of us who are not pro the adoption reform movement but blieve in mutual consent who would happen upon your sight would not get to hear the other side of the poor Joan story she portrays in forums and comment sections of articles. Your story needs to be heard. So I say continue your blogging. I’m one more person following. Not knowing your family, being of your generation your story make more sense. A dad with several children to take care of without help at a time where there wasn’t gov’t help he thought he was giving Joan a better chance at life. Your life was no less difficult. We all deal with tragedy, hardships and heartaches. I understand some adoptees including Joan may have feelings about adoption but the fact is your dad and family (as most family do) did the best they could with the situation. It’s to bad Joan lives in a dark place that she can’t enjoy her life and move on. What will happen to her when the reform movement ends her life will really be over. She needs to portray herself as she does, she needs to twist the story to fit her needs, without she has nothing, it is what she lives for. Sad for her, unfortunate for your family. Good luck to you

2. Ruth – January 5, 2011
thank you Lisa Marie
I would love to just throw my hands up in the air and see “fuhgedabout it!”

But what people don’t realize is that in her book, and on the internet, Joan has SMEARED MY CHARACTER! By saying that I, Ruth Pace has an arrest and criminal record is DAMAGING to me. If I were to apply for a new job or career THIS COULD HURT ME!
Who does Joan think she is that she LIES about me?
I would sue her, but what would I get? She ain’t got nothing. Would I try to take her house? please – I don’t want it. The county taxes alone are over $2100.00. Mine are only $129.00. – cos we get the veteran’s exemption. And I love my own house. a bit raggedy, but it’s MINE. I already paid off the mortgage once, but put on a new roof and porch.
And oh, the pity party for poor Joan – she has arthritis in her neck – (as she reports in her book). oh my! Well I have scoliosis – curvature of the spine AND arthritis in the spine. Back pain and I are old friends. Yet I work in a job that requires heavy lifting. AND I have a touch of IBS,
AND I have chronic sinus troubles. AND I got hot flashes AND thyroid problems with major fatique problems AND just started 12 hour shifts. But I get my ass to work! It ain’t fun to empty a bedpan with poo, BUT I DO IT TO PUT FOOD ON MY TABLE AND ROOF OVER MY HEAD. With today’s economy, sure, I got my financial struggles too. But then I WORK OVERTIME! I have at times worked EIGHT NIGHTS IN A ROW! Because I AM AN ADULT WHO HAS HAD A JOB WITH THE SAME PLACE FOR 38 YEARS.
So why doesn’t Joan get off her lazy butt and get a job? Because then she would be a self-sufficient ADULT. And then she wouldn’t be wallowing in poverty and then she would have one less thing to whine about and garner sympathy.
I will continue to blog my truth and the reform puppets and Joan can simply lump it. Because I don’t feel sorry for them at all.

. Gert – January 5, 2011
thank you Lisa Marie…you said:
“She needs help. She says she is a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to work with anyone I know. Perhaps that is why she is unemployed.”

We, the birth family, have known that Joan needed help after about the first year we knew her…give or take around 1975! Joan has never worked as a social worker, period and never will. She can’t work because she has too many psychological problems and can’t keep herself together to hold down a job. She herself describes her afflications in great detail in the book, she is only a social worker on paper. She ought become her first client.

And while I think about it, does and will NYState disability know that Joan is collecting $$$ from the sale of that book of lies? If she is collecting any sales monies she had better reported it to the State, if she doesn’t that’s called fraud.

Lisa Marie also said:
“I find the whole group of reformers to be full of hate, self centered and many should get psychological help. Any normal person beside reformer could read you blog and understand what went on.”

I’m guessing that there are some real reformers out there, but, those types that you are talking about, on that forum, which Joan is one, are not reformers, but bullys…they go out on the internet
and browbeat potential adoptive parents and adoptive parents from adopting because they are against adoption because they think adoption is the cause of their individual and collective sicknesses. Instead they ought to grow up and accept the life that was given them and change themselves and be happy for a life…but no…

These people are just plain sick…but that does not given them nor Joan, in this case, the right to lie about my life and those in my family…hence…that is why we have this refuting blog…and yes…we are not done…we shall be back with more…

We have lives, so when our individual lives allow us to get back to business, we shall continue…don’t you worry!

Thank you again, Lisa
“Your story needs to be heard. So I say continue your blogging. I’m one more person following.”

We shall!


Thoughts on Joan Wheeler, how I viewed her as a child and an adult, how I view her in the present December 20, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace — Here’s a recent tidbit of wisdom from Joan

Post by: joanmw on November 06, 2010, 04:05:28 PM

I was found at age 18. In a split second I had the shock of my life and I had to decide how to handle it. How was I gonna be the only child of two adoptive parents and be the middle child of ten in my natural family and make it work with two sets of parents? For me, I told myself I have two sets of real parents and tried to please them both.

That was in the 1970s.

Today,, my real mother is the one who was pregnant with me and birthed me. She died when I was three months old. Her husband is my real father because, well, he is.

The fatehr who raised me is my adoptive father. The mother who raised me is my adoptive mother. She’s still alive and I call her Mom, but the destinction is real. She did not give birth to me and that’s a fact. She did parent me and so did my adoptive father.

I also have a step mother who is currently married to my real father.

All of these people are real and cannot be denied in their exsistance.

Does the term real parent mean “who do I love”? In different ways, I love all of them. But it isn’t a feel-good love. It is a sad, angry and grief-filled  acknowldgement of what really happened.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joan says “It isn’t a feel-good love” – can’t Joan just accept the people around her for what they are – people? And love them for themselves? Isn’t that the friggin’ whine she keeps saying about herself? That people should love and accept her? Why does she have to label people and mete out feelings that are “supposed” to be about that label.

At the age of 54, Joan hasn’t yet learned that human beings are complicated? And are deserving of love and affection for themselves based on what they bring to your relationship.

Yes, we all have a familial love for our relatives. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the feelings we have with those with whom we have a relationship with.

I will use my stepmothers as an example. I was too young when my mother died to really understand what that meant. Shortly afterwards, my father married my first stepmother. Who had a bunch of problems of her own. My siblings didn’t get along with her. I did. I had a relationship with her. I loved her. She took care of me. Did things with me. I vividly remember her pushing me on the swing, playing with me, singing with me. I was a little kid. I adapted. This woman took care of me. Called me her daughter. Her mother called me her granddaughter. As I grew older, I began to realize that this woman was not my mother. She was my stepmother. My love for her did not diminish and I was genuinely upset when she died.

I was 18 when my father married again. I was old enough to accept this woman for who she was. A very nice woman. I was almost grown, didn’t need anyone to braid my hair anymore. Or teach me how to brush my teeth. Or wash behind my ears. But she did teach me other things. And I am eternally grateful to her. She became my friend. I will always love her for that. And yes, it is a “feel-good” love, because she’s been nice to me.

So getting back to Joan. And perhaps this history will clear up the mis-understanding and mis-labeling that we birth siblings of Joan are suffering from “separation anxiety” because she was taken away from us. I was 3 1/2 years old when my mother died. My brother was 5, Gert and Kathy were 8 and 9. There were no daycare centers in 1956, no welfare system, my dad had to go downtown to his job everyday to earn money for the rent and for groceries. (got that Joan?) Right after my mom died, I was living with my Uncle Mattie and Aunt Millie. I’m not sure where the others were. Then my dad married Josephine, and we all lived together. Well, not quite. It seems that Josephine had two sons. Her youngest, John, lived with us.Her oldest, Jimmy, lived with her mother. Why? Because Jimmy did not get along with my father. He was quite vocal about it. BUT he never disrespected any of us Sippel kids! I well remember his visits – he was just my big step-brother who didn’t live us, who lived with my Grandma Genovese and my Uncle Dominic and Aunt Helen, much like I used to live with Uncle Mattie and Aunt Millie.

When my stepmother showed signs of a nervous breakdown and went to the psych center, Gert and Kathy went to a foster home, me and my brothers to an orphan home for a year. Then we came home for a year. And I’m not sure why I was living with my paternal grandparents while I was in the first grade. My brother Butch was with me. But not Johnny. Nor Gert and Kathy. I was in the second grade at the orphan home and third grade when we all came home. Gert and Kathy stayed in the foster home. During the summer between my third and fourth grades, my stepmother flipped out again and I was sent to the same foster home as Gert and Kathy. The boys stayed with Dad, Jimmy was still with his grandmother.

So all this moving around, with one or two kids staying here, and other kids staying there, was quite NORMAL for us Sippel kids. The core group, Gert, Kathy, Butch, me, and Johnny all saw each other quite regularly. Jimmy, less regularly, but we knew he was around, and were pleased and excited when we did see him. Big step-brother Jimmy was aware of my fondness of art materials and always brought me play clay (not the Play-dough, but the better stuff), watercolors, brushes – stuff like that.

I don’t remember when I first aware that we had baby sister Doris laying around somewhere. And we wanted her with us. Why not? She was our sister. By the time I was 10 years old, I was quite aware of her, but she was “adopted” and her name had been changed. I didn’t quite understand that. By my mid-teens, I was fully aware of her status. I most certainly did NOT suffer from any sort of “separation anxiety” concerning Doris/Joan. MY separation anxiety problems stemmed from my being separted from my father. During my life, wherever I was living, whoever had custody of me, they always took good care of me, instilled good and proper moral values, and taught me skills. (Bible songs from Sunday School teacher Aunt Millie; some sort of embroidery from Josephine, hair care from my paternal grandmother, homemade spaghetti sauce from my grandmother Genovese, many skills from my foster parents, including gardening, pet care, rowing a boat and fishing!). Despite all this – I wanted to be with my daddy!

In the meantime, our Aunt Catherine had a photograph of Joan. It was given to her by her childhood friend, Helen, who’s brother Edward had adopted Joan. Contrary to Joan’s accusations of Aunt Catherine’s “stalking” her, (my god, how could she think of such a thing?), it was merely a photograph of the child of her dead sister’.  Catherine was in the hospital giving birth to her last child Gail, (March 4) while in another part of the hospital, her sister lay dying, and died March28. Catherine had Doris/Joan’s photo out of LOVE and rememberance of her dead sister, and her last child, who was adopted out and indeed FORBIDDEN to us, Catheirne included. She was NOT “stalking”Joan, she had a momento of her. For god’s sake Joan, can’t you see that we all LOVED you and MISSED you? We didn’t STALK you, you idiot.

Catherine and Helen were childhood friends. Their children all knew each other. One day in 1966, Catherine and Helen took their kids to Crystal Beach Amusement Park. Well, what do you know? On the same day, Dorothy Wheeler had brought Joan to Crystal Beach. My cousin Gail saw Joan and was confused. This girl looked like me, but she wasn’t a Sippel. After the mothers finished talking, and Aunt Catherine got Gail alone, she told Gail who Joan was, and that we Sippel kids didn’t know who Joan was or where she was. And Gail was never to tell us. And she never did. So much for Joan’s insistence that she had been stalked “all her life” or “since she was 10 years old” by us. We couldn’t have – We didn’t know her name or where she was.

It was when I was 20 years old, (Joan was 16), when Gert approached me and told me that for years she had seen that photograph of Joan, and gradually became self-aware that the photo was that of our lost sister Doris. She asked Aunt Catherine what her name was. Catherine told her Joan Wheeler. But would not tell Gert where she lived. We found that out by me calling Wheelers in the phone book. And it was only ONE phone call placed to Joan’s home – she was not the subject of multiple stalking phone calls or prank letters, as Joan reports. And then we waited until she was 18 years old – legal age – to contact her.

As to Joan saying she was stalked by this contact – well I wish she would make up her mind! She has always maintained that as she became a teen and was aware that she was adopted, when she gained the “maturity” (and I say this loosely because she shows very little maturity, even now at the age of 54) – by the time she was 16, she made the conscience decision to find her birthparents. She didn’t know at the time she had siblings, but I guarantee if she had, they would have been included in her decision to find her birth family. – So much for her saying that she was traumatized by us finding her and we had “separation anxiety” – after she made that conscience decision to find her birth family – she wanted us as much as we wanted her.

So what happened when we found her? For myself, I was quite happy to have her back in my life. In 1974, I was in my first apartment, learning all the new things a new “adult” does. I was making my own decisions in my life, learning all about my new freedoms to come and go as I please, do what I want with my life and my time. Making my own mistakes and learning from them. And yes, that included my new relationship with Joan.

Gert said in a recent comment, “Ruth tried so many times to be a sister to Joan.” Yes, I did. Joan was raised as an only child. I was not. I came from a large family. Even if we Sippel siblings weren’t always with each other, we were with other kids. Aunt Catherine’s kids were particularly close to us. My cousin Gail was more like a sister to me. My first stepmother’s nephews and neice (David, Anthony, Gina, Perry) were close to me. Anthony was around the same age as me and Johnny, and we always played together). So I had experience in being a sister, or at least being close to someone!

And that is what I tried to be. To be close with Joan. I welcomed her back into my life with open arms. And she admits this in her book! I grew to love her. And I didn’t base my love on a wish that my dead mother would be sort of re-incarnated. No, I loved Joan for who and what she was. My sister. Who was funny, talented, creative, shared an interest in Ancent Egypt and Star Trek with me, shared an interest in mysticism with me. Liked many of the same songs and rock groups and actors as I did. Liked many of the same movies as I did. Some things about her I didn’t understand. But I would bet there were some things about me she didn’t understand. But no matter – we got along just fine. Joan said in her book that we were in a reunion and nobody knew how to proceed. What’s the big deal? I knew how to proceed! I just accepted her! If I had a day off from work and was free – I called her up and we went out to a movie or something. Isn’t that we all just simply do with anybody in our lives? Why must Joan make everything so dam difficult and see fucking problems where no problems exist? I had NO problem with Joan whatsoever. I loved her.

Well what the hell happened? Apparently, Joan didn’t love me at all. Because by 1981, we started seeing things in Joan we didn’t like. Her being opinionated for one thing. Let me rephrase that – her being DISRESPECTFUL is what I mean. She would give her opinion of a situation – and nobody was allowed to have an opposing viewpoint! If you disagreed with Joan, she would argue with you, and you ended up feeling belittled, like your opinion or viewpoint had no value. And that is wrong, wrong, wrong, because every human being on this planet has worth. Just because they disagree with you, does not give you the right to devalue them their basic human right to a free opinion!

It took a few years – but after a while, this devalue-ing (is that a word?) of me took it’s toll. I began to lose respect for Joan. By 1983, I had very little respect for her, but there was still love there. I gave her another chance. She hurt me again in 1987, I gave her another chance. In 1990, she out and out stole money from me. By that time, I could give her no more chances. Or so I thought. I tried again in 1992. Nope, I got kicked in the teeth again. And then her vendetta against me started for real – harassing letters, lies, July 4 and 5, 1992, she tried THREE times to get me in trouble with my husband! (that will be documented in due time). Then she started sending stalking letters to my house, greeting cards to my husband, but the envelopes addressed to me, false police reports, and on and on and on and on. Phone calls to my job to get me fired, trashing me to car repair people who knew me.

I sure want to know what the hell I did to Joan Wheeler that made her want to do all these rotten things to me! Then in 1999, she sends me a letter asking me why I don’t like her. No, by this time, I didn’t just not like her, I no longer loved her. And it was Joan herself who killed any love I ever had for her.

I said it before – our Doris is dead and gone. We are left with Monster Joan. I loved the Joan of the 70’s. The Joan of the 80’s, the 90’s, the 2000’s – she is deserving only of my contempt. And it is due to her own actions.

1. Gert – December 21, 2010 
Well said Ruth!!!

Ruth said:
“I most certainly did NOT suffer from any sort of “separation anxiety” concerning Doris/Joan. MY separation anxiety problems stemmed from my being separted from my father.”

I can state, with full knowledge that this statement is the truth, that from where both I and Kathy stand and from our deceased brother Butch. We, four children suffered through the loss due to death of a mother and several placements, some healthy, some not so healthy for many many years and not having our father there for us when we needed him, because he was always so busy with earning a living to support us all. During the 10 years I lived in a foster home I was ALWAYS packed because Daddy was coming to take me home the following weekend. Joan was never in my thoughts.

At various times in each of our lives we knew about Doris/Joan…I knew more and I remember more because I was the oldest…but at NO TIME did I ever suffer from being separated from her…Joan flatters herself too much…she was not and is not the center of my soul and life…as a child it was my FATHER, as an adult it is with my FATHER that I had to come to terms with regarding events of my life and those of and in my family…it NEVER WAS WITH JOAN.

Ruth said:
“Apparently, Joan didn’t love me at all. Because by 1981, we started seeing things in Joan we didn’t like. Her being opinionated for one thing. Let me rephrase that – her being DISRESPECTFUL is what I mean. She would give her opinion of a situation – and nobody was allowed to have an opposing viewpoint! If you disagreed with Joan, she would argue with you, and you ended up feeling belittled, like your opinion or viewpoint had no value. And that is wrong, wrong, wrong, because every human being on this planet has worth. Just because they disagree with you, does not give you the right to devalue them their basic human right to a free opinion!”

And it was at that same time that Joan turned on me! I was to obey her views on adoption, when I told her to get lost and mind her own business, when I was adopting my own child, she TURNED on me.
She alienated my children from me, she interfered with my and my husband’s parental authority, she called me an unfit mother, called child abuse on me, took my daughter from me…and to this day…has the gall to think she was right and I was wrong, regardless to the fact that I own the paperwork that states my innocence!

Joan is very self-centered and thinks that she can write a untruthful account of everyone’s life and get away with it…NO…doesn’t work that way.

Joan gave us sisters the opportunity to tell the entire world what Joan has done, thank you Joan!
And we shall do just that…tell the world every thing that Joan has done…

2. chayelet – December 21, 2010
As for me, my way of dealing with those early traumas -mother’s death, placements and serious personality clashes with my father, was to move to the UK.I had made my decision as early as 1965, aged 17. I moved here in 1973 and have been too involved with building and sustaining my life here to be anything but a bystander in this whole reunion thing, and I made that quite clear to JW from the very start. Gert and Ruth speak about a time when JW TURNED against them.Both times it was when Ruth and/or Gert said NO to JW. Same with me. I saw from our very first days together that JW was a user but it was 1988 when her demands for a free ride on a 3rd visit were just a bit too intrusive. I did not ring her to tell her to stay home- she stayed home because her kids were sick (quite rightly) and common sense prevailed. But because I would not offer her free food and lodgings, her attitude toward me changed dramatically.

Certain ‘acquaintances’ in the UK had to terminate budding friendships with her because of her incessant phoning up at 3 am local time, asking for favours, etc. None of that had anything to do with me ‘bad-mouthing’ JW. She did it all by herself.

And now, with these few lines, I believe I have covered everything about me that JW has issues with, except for the Rene Hoksbergen incident circa 1992 to which Ruth and Gert have alluded in previous posts, and so there really, truly, and officially is nothing left for me to say on this subject.

3. gert – December 22, 2010 
Well said Kathy!!!

It trully is amazing just how ‘far-fetched’ and ‘off base’ Joan’s understandings of any person/situation is! And the reasons for that is because it is always Joan’s inner mind that is always talking to her, that makes all her decisions for her about what any person was THINKING AND FEELING, instead of what ACTUALLY and TRULLY happened…and Joan wonders why people don’t understand her…no one is in Joan’s mind except Joan. Reality is NOT Joan’s mind!

And…we are NOT completely done with the subject of Hoksbergen, not by a long shot, we are not done…there is much much more coming out on that one…as there is so much more damage that Joan has to account for.

…all in good time, my pretty!! all in good time.

Why does Joan Wheeler lump all Three Sippel Sisters into one entity? We are individuals you know. December 15, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Recently Kathy Inglis submitted a comment. Here is an excerpt from it:

“chayelet – December 11, 2010
Lest readers take my hitherto silence to be a sign that I have capitulated to JW’s demands for my silence-I would like to add my support to what Ruth says here.On 20 Sept 2010 I posted on Chayelet’s Blog a final statement- to clarify this statement, I will quote Ruth, above: ‘I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again’”

Yes, Kathy has been silent since September 2010.

Here is a post from Joan Wheeler made just last week, December 2010:

Re: The Daily Reporter Spews Adoption Kool-Aid, Comments Needed
« Reply #34 on: Today at 02:20:44 PM »

Thanks, K, for seeing that they are, indeed, stalking again. They’ve stalked me my entgire life: during my childhood by asking an aunt wehre i lived, and then calling me on the phone when I was 18. Sure, I get it. They were looiking for their missing sister. My point has always been we should never have been separated in the first place. That separation has caused us all great pain. Finding me caused me and my adoptive parents great pain. It is even now very diffficult for me to carry on with the task of enjoying adoption reform with the three of them pestering and stalking around they do.

So this is what Joan has posted on December 7, 2010.
Pay attention to this phrase: …with the three of them pestering and stalking around they do.”

1. gert – December 17, 2010
Typical Joan…
I forget right now the exact date, but, she got a call from Ruth who called to tell her of an aunt’s death and after screaming at Ruth, Joan calls her local police department telling them that all three of us were harassing her. The police leave a message on Ruth’s phone where he states all three of our names!

I called the police and told them sorry, Kathy and I never made a phone call. The police told me, don’t worry we know all about Joan, we don’t pay any attention to her.

Joan just lumps the three of us together as one…she likes to hedge her bets.

Joan needs to understand that
1) we are not pestering and stalking her. We ARE telling our side of the story and telling the truth against Joan’s lies. If that hurts Joan, she ought not lie.

2)”That separation has caused us all great pain”.

This separation, is Joan’s adoption, has NOT caused us sister this great pain that Joan likes to think we have. The GREAT PAIN that we sisters are feeling today is CAUSED by the book of lies that Joan published.

3)Joan could and should go enjoy herself with adoption reform, we could care less about it.

4)What we do care about and don’t want her doing is to continue on with the lies! Don’t lie period.

So go and enjoy herself Joan, but not on your sisters expense, for we will continue to call you a liar everytime.

Adopted Child Syndrome part 2, does it play a part in the life and behavior of Joan Wheeler? December 11, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

In a previous post on this blog, Adopted Child Syndrome – a way out for 50 year old brats? March 4, 2010,  I described my issues with and thoughts about this syndrome. please go read it.
On December 10, 2010, I received a comment on this post. I have copied and pasted it here, along with my reply.

1. ktmckinsey – December 10, 2010
I’m an adult adoptee, and I can testify to the fact that infant adoption can leave serious emotional scars. It’s touched my life in ways that I can’t even begin to describe here, and adoption agencies should work to better educate adoptive parents so as to identify potential issues early on.

I guess I just want to point out one thing: most adoptees aren’t trying to excuse the violence committed by other adoptees. Children who are abused are also more likely to commit violent crimes as adults. We can acknowledge this fact without excusing the behavior or assuming that ALL formerly abused children are violent. Why can’t we take this same approach to adopted child syndrome and the potential for violence from adoptees? They are a high risk group, and it doesn’t do anyone any favors to assume otherwise.
2. Ruth – December 11, 2010
kt brings up some very good points. And while I was not saying ALL adoptees as to be exibiting anti-social behavior, I was trying to point out that a good many of them USE their “bad” childhood to justify their bad behaviors.

I personally have been to subjected to a LOT of bad behvior from the hands of Joan Wheeler, who uses her “bad” adoption as an excuse to inflict emotional pain and abuse on members of both her birth and adoptive families. This is unacceptable.

I am a human being too. I have rights too. I do not deserve to have hundreds of dollars stolen from me just because Joan was adopted and knows no boundaries. And when I understandably became angry at the theft, it was JOAN who began sending me harassing letters which started the feud that exists between us to this present day.

Joan has repeatedly done things that normal people just do not do. For instance, in February 1999, I received two letters from her. One, was to inform me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and thier daughter was born in 1994. I have known personally the two babies born to women at the house from 1987 to 1999 and they were baby boys. Now why would someone send their own sister a letter like that? AND use a friend’s return address – without the friend’s knowledge or consent. The second letter from Joan was yakking about the anniversary of our reunion, and in it was this sentance: “for some reason, you don’t like me.” Why would I like a person who steals from me and lies about my husband. And when I went to the return address of that first letter and showed it to Joan’s friend, Joan’s friend broke off her freindship with her. THEN Joan turns around and blames ME for the destruction of that friendship!

There are many more examples of Joan’s bad behaviors, and her unwillingness to acknowledge that it is HER actions, and HER actions alone that have gotten us to this point. and the final blow was the self-publication of her book in which she lies throughout the book about events that happened between me and her, and events in my life in which she had nothing to do with, and do not belong in a book that is supposed to be about adoption and adoption reform. That is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on Joan’s deeds and lies.

I am not a psychologist in any way shape or form. I cannot give a definitive diagonose on just what is Joan’s problem. All I can say is that she exhibits symptoms of manic depression, (and I know for a fact that she has been treated for this in the past), she exhibits symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and this Adopted Child Syndrome.

Mental illness? oh yes, you don’t need to have a doctor’s degree to see that Joan is suffering from sort of mental illness. It is NOT normal for someone to steal from someone, and not recognize that it would hurt that person, and when the person is justifiably angry, it is NOT normal for someone to say that the other person does NOT have the right to be angry and hurt and not have the right to verbalize those feelings. Everytime I verbalized my anger, Joan herself got angrier and angrier and then the stalking, yes, stalking occured. It is NOT normal for someone to call another person’s job repeatedly to get them fired. It is NOT normal for a person to forge a letter from their own 10 year old son, the letter addressed to one person, and the envelope addressed to me, baiting me to call her. And when I called her, Joan hung up on me. and Icalled back two more times. And the following week, when my electricity was shut off, I called her for help, as she still owed me the money she stole from me, she hung up again. and again. And then turned around and filed a police report on me claiming that I was harassing her. She was given a sixmonth order of protection against me for this. the ONLY order of protection she EVER obtained against the collective Three Sippel Sisters, or individual sister.
Yet in the book, and all over the internet, this event is reported by Joan to say that I was arrested, placed on probation, the order of protection was for one year, I have a criminal record and she has had obtained MULTIPLE orders of protection against us sisters. ALL of this is false, false, false. These falsehoods are potentially damaging to our personal and professional lives. But does Joan care? No. And this is NOT normal for an adult woman to be doing these things. And I have scanned and posted here on this blog, actual court documents that prove that Joan is a liar – and she blindly blunders on – ignoring FACTS OF LIFE – !!!!

I don’t know what she thinks those actual court documents are – but she just ignores them as pages from a fairy tale! Even when confronted with absolute proof of her lies, with court documents and photographs on this blog, Joan STILL insists that the order of protection was for one year, I was arrested, I was placed on probation. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!

Such a story is typical of what is in the book, where she describes her rants and raves, both private and public, and she doesn’t even realize that she is just showing her own insanity. No sane person acts this way! – addition by Gert McQueen, December 13, 2010, 5pm.

If adoptees don’t want to be lumped into this Adopted Child Syndrome, than I suggest they look to the company they keep. Is it Joan’s fault that she is mentally ill? Of course not! But she needs to be placed on medication and she needs to be undergoing Behavioral Modification Treatment, because not only does she engage in anti-social behviour, but criminal behavior as well. It is not ME or the other two Sippel Sisters who are engaging in criminal behavior, it is Joan. The entire Sippel family has turned their backs on Joan – not just us sisters. Why? Because she does things to them as well. But us sisters, particularly me, are her favorite targets. Why? I don’t know. I just don’t know.

We sisters and many other members of our family have been hurt many times over by Joan. I myself have shed many tears. My heart was taken out and stomped on by Joan in 1987, in 1990, in 1993, 1994, and again and again. I turned the other cheek so many times, I ran out of cheeks. And yet, in 2003, I tried, I really tried to have a relationship with her again, and it took her only 4 months to show her true colors and attack me again. And now the book and her continous going on internet forums and lying about me and my life and my family.

Adopted Child Syndrome? You are not only the company you keep, but the behavior you exhibit. People make mistakes, yes, but normal people correct their mistakes, apologize to the ones they hurt and don’t repeat the bad behavior. What is wrong with Joan? I don’t know, and at this point, I don’t care. I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again, AND correct all the lies she has spread about me and my family.

I have said it before on this blog – Joan is not only mentally ill, but a bully. A true bully. She attacks me and others, then runs to others for help when we will NOT accept her attacks. She will not stand up and acknowledge her contribution to our anger, and manipulates others to attack us in return. With this blog, we are not only shedding light on the deeds of Joan the Bully, thereby standing up to the bully, but we are correcting the bully’s lies.

1. chayelet – December 11, 2010
Lest readers take my hitherto silence to be a sign that I have capitulated to JW’s demands for my silence-I would like to add my support to what Ruth says here.On 20 Sept 2010 I posted on Chayelet’s Blog a final statement- to clarify this statement, I will quote Ruth, above: ‘I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again’

My sisters Ruth and Gert have suffered more than I at JW’s hands, and thus have much more to refut than I do. I have addressed directly most of the issues relating to me, and have given Gert and Ruth permission to quote me when appropriate.

The reasons for my silence are:

1. My life is NOT an open book, for public consumption

2. I do not believe in exploiting the people or situations in my life

3. I know from first hand experience that trying to deal with people like JW is futile, and, as I have already dealt with JW’s issues with me, I leave it to her to come to terms with her perceptions of me.

Chayelet’s Blog will stay in situ.

2. gert – December 13, 2010
Thank you ktmckinsey for your comments, they are welcomed. I don’t lump everyone into a particular labeled box, but if the shoe fits…and the shoe fits Joan.

I also thank my sister Ruth and Kathy for their comments and I totally agree with Kathy’s statement… “My life is NOT an open book, for public consumption”

I wish that NONE OF US has to be going through this business, but, the TRUTH OF THE MATTER is that it was Joan herself, who deemed that everyone in her life was to be exploited and exposed in this book of lies. Joan is the ONE who decided that HER LIFE is so important and has been so DAMAGED by adoption that she didn’t and doesn’t give a damn about what has been and is done to two sets of families, by the public publication of the book of lies and inner fabrications of one diseased mind, namely Joan’s.

Joan in her zeal against adoption, took it upon herself to come between my own adoption efforts in adopting my own son! Joan deemed that it was wrong and because I and my husband told her to ‘get lost’ she took revenge and ‘alienated’ my own children against me, called child abuse on me, and then has the self-righteous gall to say that I DID NOT apology to her and her mother for ‘harassing’ them when I exposed Joan to her mother! Then ten years later, during a reconcilation attempt on my part, Joan smiled to my face, said she loved me, and immediately betrayed me again…and…she puts all this in her book…of course…her versions of it all.

And so Kathy’s statement of: “Ruth and Gert have suffered more than I at JW’s hands, and thus have much more to refut than I do” is totally correct.

Both Kathy and I have not lived anywhere near Joan, for decades, and after the repeated attacks upon us by Joan and others that she enlisted to ‘go after us’ we had NO CONTACT with Joan UNTIL SHE PUBLISHED THE BOOK.

Ruth, tried, so many times, to be a sister to Joan, but Joan doesn’t want that. Joan could not, at anytime in her life, be a sister to any of us, including Ruth, because Joan was ALWAYS WRITING THE BOOK. Joan NEVER LIVED A LIFE, she was ALWAYS WRITING ABOUT WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS HAPPENING TO HER. She is probably writing another book as we speak!

And now that the book is published, and Joan believes that she will make lots of money, and even find a movie being made out of her ‘life story’she can’t believe that we sisters have any rights, and why should we, according to Joan, we have no rights because we have HURT THE POOR CHILD.

That is why we are refuting everything, that is why we have gone public, to tell the truth.

How to get your message out…not! Joan Wheeler really needs to rein in her anger! December 9, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen
There are, on the adult adoptee forum, many people who are very active in ‘going after’ any one who adopts. Joan befriended Mara somewhere and was invited to go over to this forum and these people feed off each other’s hate, anger, self-pity and are very hostile to the world of adoption. So be it, you are the company you keep. Joan herself in her book, told about her beginnings in the ‘movement’ and how ‘militant’ she was. I know because she was hostile and militant to me and my husband when we were ‘adopting’ my son. It was her militant hostile angry attitudes that caused her to interfer in my family’s business and cause us serious problems. I have written about it here already. Joan also states in her book that she moved away from those militant ways…but as I continued to read on in the book I found that she really never did. The point is that Joan’s basic angry hostile nature draws the same to her and she can’t help herself. She really ought to try a different approach because Joan doesn’t have the stomach for the real fight, but she doesn’t know it, yet.
In my efforts in refuting the lies that Joan continues to state, I prepared a statement, which follows, and which is what I placed on a recent comment line regarding an adoption issue, in which Joan lied about my family. What actually prompted me in commenting was Joan’s own words about what she did…to the author of an article. Her words are following my statement here.
Readers here, on our blog, can make up their own minds as to whether Joan is using good judgement or if she has learned anything at all in how to ‘get her agenda’ out there. Joan not only uses people, as we have been pointing out, but Joan CAN BE used by others, because she is weak by nature.
here’s my statement and what prompted me to post it:
My name is Gert Mcqueen I’m a birth sister to halforphan 56 Joan Wheeler, who wrote the book, Forbidden Family. Two other sisters and myself have a blog wherein we are refuting this book @ ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com    Our purpose behind our blog is truth telling. You may also want to check out our review of the book on Amazon.com
Her book is billed as a true story and a help for adoption reform, it is no such thing. The truth is that the book is an extremely long painful account of the author’s own perceptions of her reality where in she fabricates, exaggerates and boldly lies about people and events. She describes her own character flaws presenting them as reasons for why she believes she has been traumatized by adoption and in that process doesn’t realize the harm she has done to herself. She portrays both the birth and adoptive families is very negative ways and claims to be harassed by us birth sisters. She does not tell of her own negative actions towards the birth sisters or many other people.
There is very little in the book that could possible be of help to the adoption reform movement or for anyone interested in any aspect of adoption, period. It is purely a opportunity and venue for the author to vent her extreme angry at the very fact that she had been adopted and she hates everyone. The author is not truly interested in helping people, she wants people to purchase the book. She has spend over 35 years writing about her inner projection of her life, instead of living a genuine life.
The reason for my posting this statement here is to invite all interested in a balanced story to come to our blog and make up your own mind as to the validness of  her book and purposes behind her activist agenda. My sisters and I are not hiding anything we say or do about refuting her book or other actions she has said or done to us; we put everything we do on our blog for it is a truth-telling blog. It is the birth sisters’ position that the fact of a publication of a book of lies and misrepresentation is an grave dishonor to our parents, ourselves and other members of our family and the adoptive family. 
Please take a look at our blog…and be warned…it is not pretty…for we do tell the truth.
So on the adult adoptee forum I read:
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2010, 09:06:36 PM »
What kind of a magazine is this, anyway?  His mother owes the world an apology.  I can’t believe anyone would print garbage like this.
and then Joan responds:
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2010, 05:16:06 PM »

I blasted him several times. 
and again Joan responds:
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2010, 08:23:46 PM »

I just sent Mikey all 5 of my posts! I’ll let you know if he emails back. How much you wanna bet he’s never heard from a real half orphan before? Not one single instance of unmarried parents to complain about, but a hell of alot of lying! Grab the baby and run! Ohh, boy, I am having fun with this one tonight! 
And Gert asks again….all this helps adoption reform how?
And Gert asks again…why does Joan allows herself to be in the company of and be used by hostile angry militant people instead of being around kind loving people who want to do good? Only she knows.
Ruth’s note:
First, before anyone blasts us for quoting Joan from a forum, she has done the same thing. She has come to this blog, copied and pasted stuff from here, and put it (out of context) on The Adult Adoptee forum. And as the Puppet Master she is, she used my words to garner sympathy from the members there. Then further instructed them in February 2010 and again in May 2010 to come to this blog and harass us. She instructed them to complain “en masse” to  WordPress to have this blog shut down. (but whines on her cyberbullying page that WE are responsible for shutting down her 2 previous blogs, which we did not). THEN she instructs the puppets to visit the page, NOT from their forum, but from various sites. These sites like ebonito.com, and various loan blogs, a “beautiful woman” blog, tv episode viewing sites. lol. BUT Joan whines and accuses me of using different wireless networks to view her blog. Puppet Master and the Puppets can slueth and disguse themselves, but get don’t want anyone else  to slueth and disguise themselves!  What lousy hypocrites! And the  Puppets use obscene language on forums, show their anger, yet condemn me when I show anger at the crap that Joan is pulling. Again, they are lousy hypocrites, useless little Puppets, with no brains.
But Puppet Master Joan and The Puppets have an excuse – they were ADOPTED! And they are ANGRY Adoptees. Oh my! So that give them the right to trample on other people? To hurt other people? Because THEY were hurt when they were kids? They demand their Constitutional Rights, but want to deny others their constitutional rights! That’s right – THEY can go to any internet forum and spew their anti-adoption stuff, but when someone visits the same forum – oh no! That’s not allowed! WHY?   ~~~~ I got news for you angry adoptees – I don’t care if you are angry – I GOT THE SAME RIGHTS AS YOU DO! And I’m an ANGRY BIRTH SIBLING who is ANGRY because of the lousy disgusting treatment I have suffered at the hands of Joan Wheeler!  ~~~ Go ahead, do those adoption reforms you want so much – BUT DON’T DO IT BY DISRESPECTING ME OR MY FAMILY!
But getting back to what Gert is saying – that Joan should surround herself with loving people – instead of wallowing in the misery and anger that is her life and the lives of th Puppets.
Well, she WAS surrounded by loving people! but she blew it! Even loving people do not like getting preached at, told they are raising their kids wrong, have items and money stolen from them, lied to, used, falsely accused of things, having false police reports filed on them, having a stranger, a “professional” college professor write them a letter and tell them HOW to live their life (at the request of Joan), having their domestic partner receive letters urging them to break  up with them, receiving a harassing letter – falsely saying that their domestic partner got the next-door neighbor pregnant – yes, all these things are things that Joan did to her birth sisters, all 3 of us – who loved her, who TRIED to continue to love her, but in the end, had their love destroyed by Joan herself.
Because we Sippel Sisters are no fools. We TRIED to love Joan. Joan KILLED our love for her. So now Joan has her puppets, who act just like her. If they act on their own, that is, without prompting by Joan, and doing what she orders them to do. But Gert is right – Joan is weak minded. She not only leads other weak-minded fools around, but also is led by them.
“Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows?” — Obi Wan Kenobi
1. gert – December 9, 2010
Okay here’s another espisode of nonsense from Joan who doesn’t get it that it’s not about stalking, it about honesty and telling the truth. If someone is talking trash and lies about me and my family you better damn well know I’ll be watching and reporting about it. You don’t like it, then shut up.

The newest from Joan…
Re: The Daily Reporter Spews Adoption Kool-Aid, Comments Needed
« Reply #34 on: Today at 02:20:44 PM »

Thanks, K, for seeing that they are, indeed, stalking again. They’ve stalked me my entgire life: during my childhood by asking an aunt wehre i lived, and then calling me on the phone when I was 18. Sure, I get it. They were looiking for their missing sister. My point has always been we should never have been separated in the first place. That separation has caused us all great pain. Finding me caused me and my adoptive parents great pain. It is even now very diffficult for me to carry on with the task of enjoying adoption reform with the three of them pestering and stalking around they do.

Your support — folks who are adoptees and supporters on this forum — mean the world to me. Thank you for your udnerstand ing in seeing that i am trying to escape their petty nonsense. do you see that they are causing the trouble? Calling me a HO even! Shit, I just wish they’d crawl back into the whole they came from. They are dysfunctional, mean-spirited and sad. And they read our board and follow what we do just to keep track of me to keep me “in line”.

I’m sorry all of you must be sunject to their BS.

From Gert,

Sorry Joan you still don’t get it do you? Can’t you think straight?

Number one HO is short for half orphan…isn’t that what you call yourself?

Number two, it’s not about keeping you ‘in line’, it’s about keeping you honest! You could easily escape by telling the truth or answer to all the dirty deeds you have done to us and to all the lies you wrote about. Get off your sorry story! No one is stalking you, we never did, we are not now. Have you not read the posts, on this blog, about what I think about your cyberbullying and stalking nonsense? Get real.

Stop lying…I did NOT know where you lived, let alone your name until you were 18 years old…that’s legal age, deal with it and stop using it as a pity issue. Pain! accept it and deal with it already! Everyone else has why can’t you? Because you are a victim you like to be a victim and you can’t stand it when someone calls you on it…you are a weak minded person.

And when are you going to grow up and take responsibility for your own dirty deeds against others, like myself? You had nothing to do with causing me and my family any pain? You never hurt me, Ruth, Kathy or anyone else? You are so innocent! You can’t stand it that we will not go away from telling about your lies. We will continue to refut every word you say that is not the truth, be in in that book of lies, or elsewhere. Get use to it, because we are not going away. Deal with it

2. Ruth – December 9, 2010
Joan says to her puppets: I’m sorry all of you must be sunject to their BS.
Well, just WHO is subjecting them to our “BS?” it is JOAN! What the hell is the matter with her?
As for stalking her her entire life? My god! I was THREE YEARS OLD – HOW THE HELL DOES A TODDLER STALK SOMEONE?
As for Joan’s pyschobabble about our “separation anxiety? (being separated from HER – who the hell does she think she is? My deity?
Joan, you just showed EVERYONE what an asshole you are – you go on forums pretending to be a psychologist and talk psychobabble about MY brain, yet condemn me for what you diagnose me with!!!!
Yes, I missed you to a degree, and yes, when you were about 16 (NOT your f’ing entire life) was when Gert got your last name from Aunt Catherine. THAT’S ALL WE DID! Just before you turned 18, it was ME who called on the phone to Wheelers in the phone book and discovered you. THEN Gert called you. IT WAS NOT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SO STOP YOUR F’ING LYING!
Do you people see how Joan exagerates everything?
And how she contradicts herself from one forum to another and what she writes on her own website and in her own book?
My go people are you that blind and stupid? In her book, she says she was indeed a teen when we siblings found her. On her byberbullying page in October 2010, she says she was TEN YEARS OLD. NOW, it’s her ENTIRE LIFE!
Are you that f’ing stupid Joan? And you friends of hers – do you not see this? Are you as stupid as her?
And if she is reading what WE write, then SHE is stalking us!!!!

And do you see us writing about her on forums when she sticks to her adoption work? NO! The only time we sisters speak out is when Joan talks about us on internet forums and LIES about us.
Joan has no business writing about us – we were children – had NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ADOPTION!
simple and easy as that.

3. Ruth – December 9, 2010
I did not call you a HO- I was using YOUR initials of HalfOrphan -H.O. because at first I didn’t see that you did indeed use your real name. I was trying to save myself typing.
shut up. There was a famous Hawaiian singer called Don Ho.
god Joan, you are such a simpleton.
NOW I’m calling you a name.

4. Gert – December 9, 2010
some else on the forum just said to Joan about us:

“Don’t these idiots realize that when they go on public comment boards and give the title and details of your book that they are *publicizing* it for you?”

Gert says, oh indeed we do realize that and we are not worrying…why you ask? Because any thinking person out there will take a look at both blogs, Joan’s and ours and make up there minds BEFORE they spend anywhere between $40 and $50 for a book of lies. We also realize that we are putting in a plug for our web site that has all the evidence against Joan…well not all of it YET, but it will be there!

Joan’s book is garbage, but hey don’t take my word for it, go ahead and spend $50 and see what you get
It is over 600 pages of angry rants. I’m currently working on chapter 38 which says it’s about evidence to prove her case…without the book in front of me…that chapter is about 84 pages long, 17 pages of documents, 62 pages of rants against every person and event that she could think of to rant about and then 5 pages of ‘possible’ adoption reform material. But, don’t take my word for it, go and spend your $50 and buy the dam book and then come and talk to me.

Now on the other hand, Joan is crying again that we nasty sisters are after her…then why does she have OUR WEB SITE ADVERTISED ON HER BLOG?

Can Joan’s friends answer that question? Why does Joan hide it on her web page…look under ‘about the book’ and there you will find the plug for us and our blog…Joan CAN’T HELP HERSELF.

without us sisters Joan DOESN’T have a case, she doesn’t have anyone to continue to blame for her miserable life that she and only she created.

That is our MESSAGE…we are truth tellers. Joan is a liar and a weak person.

5. Ruth – December 9, 2010
On her cyberbullying page Joan wrote the following in October 2010:

“It is unfortunate that serious adoption reformers and the general public who want to learn a new perspective must be subject to the content of this Blog.”
then says further “go to my sister’s blogs” Then she gives their titles and web addresses.

Then whines that WE are subjecting people to our blog! WTF?
Joan is advertising our blog.Joan is directing people to our blog! Joan is “subjecting” people to our blog. roflmao at her ignorance.

6. gert – December 10, 2010
In my comment above I quote this from someone speaking to Joan:

“Don’t these idiots realize that when they go on public comment boards and give the title and details of your book that they are *publicizing* it for you?”

Gert speaking now:
It would really be NICE if people would read and understand BEFORE they open up their mouths.

It was Joan HERSELF who placed the title of her book on that public comment board before I did.

Joan’s friends should not think that we sisters are wrong just because we oppose Joan’s book and her lying of us. We have had a lifetime of knowing Joan being abused by her and hearing her lies. It was Joan herself that made this whole business PUBLIC by publishing a book of lies for the purpose of exposing and exploiting two families.

I would like to know if any, of Joan’s friends on the adult adoptee forum including the puppets, have spent the $40 to $50 for the book and who have actually read it,and I do mean every page of it?

If you have not read the book, or if you are not in the book, then you are NOT QUALIFIED to say anything about what we sisters have to say, period.

And if you have read the book, I challedge you to show me something, anything, in that book where Joan is RIGHT and we are WRONG!

Joan won’t answer our accussations that she lies, how about her puppets, or her friends? Any takers?

Guess not! I’m waiting!!
 7. Ruth – December 10, 2010
And I may add:
That it was JOAN herself who in September 2008, out of the clear blue sky – who went on the internet with a warning to “The Three Sippel Sisters.” Even though myself had been on the internet since the year 2000, with no contact with Joan, until 2004 when I started a Family Photo site, and Joan threw a hissy fit when I corrected the date of a picture that she had scanned – a picture that was from GERT’s childhood, NOT Joan’s – and because she NEVER cares to get the FACTS of OUR childhood correct, had the wrong date on it. I booted her off the site – and had no further contact with her – THEN in October 2009 – it was JOAN again, who used the internet as a tool against us. Gert had been on the internet since the 90′s, and there was NO problem.
As I said, I had been on the internet since 2000 with only that one problem. And Kathy, was BRAND NEW to the internet as of October 2009.
So why was there the need to WARN us in Sept. 2008, AND Joan attacked our religious paths. (bigot).
JOAN also first mentioned our names, partial addresses and named my employer on her website – what does where I work have to do with adoption reform?
But you people have blinders on. You seem to think that if one is adopted, there is no wrong doing on that person’s part.
YOU people do not know Joan in person. WE do. YOU people have not seen her in action. WE have.
But the evidence is right here – but you refuse to take a look. JOAN lies in her book and says on her website that I have been placed on probation. I have provided the actual court document that PROVES she is a liar. If you idiots ignore that fact – and take Joan Wheeler’s word as gospel truth – well, all I can say is what I’ve said before: YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS AND HAVE SAWDUST FOR BRAINS. AND YOU ARE WORTHLESS HUMANS

Joan Wheeler — The Puppet Master December 8, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In my last post Joan Wheeler AGAIN plays fast and loose with the facts of MY family!  I tell of Joan going on another internet forum and tells lies again about my family. Gert and I, exercising OUR Freedom of Speech right, left a couple of comments. Joan’s cronies Russ and Mara went on and bashed us. roflmao! What’s the matter Joan? Can’t speak for yourself? gotta have someone else talk for you? Ain’t Woman enough to stand up for yourself?
I said once before on this blog to Russ ol boy – that Joan was manipulating him, pulling his strings and his head was full of sawdust.
It seems that my assessment was correct.
For once again, Joan the Puppet Master is at work again behind the scenes. She has Mara on one knee, Russ on the other. She has her hands in their wooden heads, working their mouths, making them do what she is too cowardly to do herself.
Joan, the quintessential liar and bully, goes onto an internet forum and talks trash about my family. When it has nothing to do with HER adoption or her anti-adoption agenda. Then she wonders why her family gets upset! Then when her family, excercises  their right to debate her, can’t take it. She whines to her puppets: “oh help me, my sisters are mad at me again. Help me, make them stop.” She doesn’t see that she can stop us herself – by not talking about us and lying about us.
For some reason, Joan can’t learn this.
And neither can her puppets. They love to be lead around by their wooden noses.
Fools! Joan is a ventriloquist. With her fingers flying fast on the keyboard, she tells you guys what to do, what to say.
Wake up fools! Pull back the curtain and see who is really behind your thoughts! The Great and Powerful Puppet Master of Joan!
ps, if you guys have the right to go to PUBLIC internet forums and talk, then so do I! You fools do NOT own the internet. I have the Freedom of Speech to go where I want, say what I want. Just because your Master, Joan Wheeler tells you that her sisters can’t does not make it so. Got news for you – we can, and we will. Deal with it.


Joan Wheeler at her keyboard tells her puppets what to write


Joan's puppet Mara


Joan's puppet Russ











1. gert – December 8, 2010
But you know, Joan does keep certain things quiet from the puppets and she also lies to them…She told them that she had removed mentioning us on the Forbidden family site and I thought she had…well she didn’t…she still has a notice up about us sisters and she is continuing with her promotion about the cyberbullying site.

How can her puppets get anything done, in regards to having Joan stop yaking about us, as they in the past said they wanted, when Joan lies to them and doesn’t tell them what she is doing…namely sullying our names and reputations.

We want mention of us OFF the forbidden family site, that site is for ADOPTION REFORM not for promoting her sisters.

So you see, until Joan removes mention of us and advertising and sending readers to a cyberbullying site in a site that says it is about adoption reform, namely forbidden family, she is lying to her puppets and she is harassing us.

2. Ruth – December 8, 2010
Another thing the puppets haven’t caught – in the past their puppet master has instructed them to come over to this blog to harass us. BUT she instructed them NOT to come from the Adoptee Forum! She instructed them to come from other websites.
Isn’t this a direct violation of Joan’s complaint that we use multiple IP addressess and different wireless connections to go to her site? My, my, my, we see Joan’s double standard of harassment there!

the poor puppets haven’t figured that out yet, because they have sawdust for brains.

Joan Wheeler AGAIN plays fast and loose with the facts of MY family! December 7, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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On December 6, 2010, Joan went on a forum http://www.thedailyreporter.com/communities/coldwater/x556844305/Adoption-Good-bad-news     and again sang her tale of adoption woe. alas, alas, poor Joan. then she brags about her bullshit by saying this about what she posts, and about the writer of the original piece:   “I just sent Mikey all 5 of my posts! I’ll let you know if he emails back. How much you wanna bet he’s never heard from a real half orphan before? Not one single instance of unmarried parents to complain about, but a hell of alot of lying! Grab the baby and run! Ohh, boy, I am having fun with this one tonight! ”
Joan should talk about lying -she certainly is an expert at it!

 I don’t give a rat’s rear about her adoption woes, but I AM concerned when she opens her lying mouth about me and my family! She actually says this, in talking about my father’s second wife: “This woman was the step mother to my siblings. … She died of cancer ten years later. The kids were then early teens and were placed in an orphanage.”

FACTS: We kids were placed in the foster home (Gert and Kathy) and the orphanage (me, Butch and step-brother John) in the year 1959. My brothers and I were there for a year. Then we came back home again. Why? Because my stepmother was ill, flipped out, and went to the psych center. When she came out, we 3 came home. Gert and Kathy stayed in the foster home because they didn’t get along with Josephine, my stepmother. My stepmother flipped out again in 1961, and I went to the same foster home as my sisters. Butch and John stayed with my dad, going to my paternal grandmother’s house for couple of hours after school.

FACT: My stepmother died in November 1964.

Now why does Joan get on an internet forum and tell twisted lies about MY FAMILY????
Joan, either get your FACTS straight or shut the hell up!
Pray tell, what does MY stepmother dying in 1964 or whenever YOU think she did have to do with YOU or YOUR adoption? answer: NOTHING! For the love god Joan: SHUT THE HELL UP!
 Here are two graphics: front and back of a picture taken of us kids on Sept. 26, 1959 at The Immaculate Heart of Mary Home, Cheektowaga, NY. the handwriting is my stepmother’s.
Explain this discrepency Joan! Better yet – shut the hell up about MY family. YOU became a Wheeler in January 1957, anything that happened to us after that date is none of your business – has nothing to do with YOUR life, nothing to do with YOUR adoption, has nothing to do with YOUR anti-adoption rants anywhere on the internet!

After January 1957, our lives went on – and for good or bad – they had nothing to with YOU or YOUR adoption! So why are you reporting on them? Get this through your head – SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THINGS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

SEE –  I am in the front, with my stepbrother John. I am 7 years old, John is 8. So why does Joan say we are in early teens? And we see how my stepmother wrote on the back of the picture – 1959. But according to Joan, she was dead. But she didn’t die until 1964. shut the hell up about MY life Joan – because it is not YOUR’S, never was, never will be. You HAVE a life – LIVE it, and leave MINE alone. Wallow in your own miserable life, Joan, you can’t have mine.

1. Gert – December 8, 2010 
Yep, Joan can’t keep her lies straight from one venue to another, she doesn’t even have the sense to use her own book as a reference point…but we do!!!

I have addressed the many facets of our childhoods, where we were, who was who, etc, in several blog entries, some of which have not yet been seen here…there is just so much lies and fabrications and exaggerations that Joan has said everywhere she goes…that it will take time for everything she wrote in that book of lies to see this blog…so please stay tuned because we will put the truth all here.

Joan does not own the rights to replay her versions of other people’s lives. She thinks that she can say whatever she wants any where she wants and get away with it, no she can’t. If a person really took a look at what she says you would find the ‘sickly sappy feel sorry for me’ crap behind whatever she says.

Joan is a professional victim, she can’t accept the life that was given her, nor can see forgive anyone, including herself, and she must make sure that anyone who opposes her…pay for it…

No deal! not ever!

2. Ruth – December 8, 2010
Our old trolly boy Russ decided to make a comment after mine on this new site – where I had corrected Joan’s “unfacts” about our family. Russ thinks I object to Joan’s existence. Nope, just her lying mouth. So here what I had to say to him:

Mr. thomas is one of HO’s supporters. I have no problem with HO’s existence at all. Not even with her adoption work – My problem is that when she talks about ME, she does not tell the truth.
I have debated with Mr. Thomas before.
When someone self-pulishes a book, and in it says falsely that another person was arrested in the past and has a criminal record, that is LIBEL! This is what HO says about me,in her book.
And this forum is another example of how HO weaves her own fantastical tale about events in MY life.
Do I not have the right to rebut someone when they play fast and loose with events in MY own life?
If I had a problem with HO’s existance, pray tell, why, on NOvember 3, 2009 did I place a phone call to HO’s house to tell her of a relative’s death? I had called my father and told him, he, being 86, and recently had ANOTHER fight with HO, was tired that day, and gave me the phone number. After acknowledging the reason I called, HO proceeded to subject me to a tirade of disgusting obscenities.
I will not respond to Mr. Thomas’ bullying tactics anymore. He himself came to my blog and his first comment contained obscenities, then in subsequent comments he implied that I do not think straight, then turned colors and whined, ‘I only wanted to help.’
HO has every right to fight her adoption battles. But she does NOT have the right to go on public forums and tell falsehoods about me or my family. It is as simple as that. My family did NOt wallow in poverty as HO’s seems to like to tell – that fantastical tale above of her adoptive parents sending over a xmas tree and presents for us. And we kids didn’t know where they came from – do little kids wonder about that anyway? NO, And besides, by this time, Xmas 1956, my father was married to his second wife. My father worked for the City of Buffalo as a draftsman and made good money. We were not rich, but not destitute either.
HO’ adoptive mother seems to think that we were poor and handed that bs down to HO and despite us telling HO otherwise all these years, she still comes on public forums and spreads that falsehood.
I was there – HO was not. Nor was HO’s adoptive mother. And I ask again – After HO became a Wheeler, of what purpose does it serve the anti-adoption movement to be reporting on our family? HO went to live with another family – we went on. MY stepmother’s oldest son lived with his grandmother – sometimes I lived with my uncle, then my grandmother – for us – it was our life. We knew we had a sister named Doris somewhere, just as we had big stepbrother Jimmy! Why is HO reporting above that we kids were left wondering about her?
Events that happened to me when I was simply being a kid have NOTHING to do with HO’s adoption, or her adoption reform work. Why does she keep reporting on them?
Ask yourself a question – would YOU like to see events of YOUR childhood (or any time period of your life) bandied about in a self-published book or on public forums? When those events have NOTHING to do with the topic at hand? Or worse yet – told in inaccurate terms!

then this morning Joan’s buddy Mara R says that Gert and I are stalkers and spread hate. This is my response to her:
and Mara R should talk about cruelty, hatred and stalkers! She came to my blog in Feb 2010 and called me filthy names. Mara is nothing but a hypocrite to talk about internet cruelty when she herself subjected me to obscene language and hatred.
Again, I say:
Ask yourself a question – would YOU like to see events of YOUR childhood (or any time period of your life) bandied about in a self-published book or on public forums? When those events have NOTHING to do with the topic at hand? Or worse yet – told in inaccurate terms!
I have no problem with HO talking about her anti-adoption agenda – it doesn’t concern me, what DOES concern me is HO’s continous lying about me and my family. Stalking? When all I am doing is finding out what HO says about ME and my life. There would be no need for this if HO would keep MY life out of her internet forum posts! I am NOT a subject to be talked about on fourms – and worse, to be LIED about! Is there someting wrong with your brains that you can’t understand that?
I was 3 years old when HO was adopted – I had nothing to do with it! AFTER HO was adopted out – our lives went on – separate from her. – here, how about if I start weriting about HER childhood on these forums? on, she will complain that I am invading her privacy! What about MY privacy? I get none because SHE was adopted? NO it doesn’t work that way. I have the same Bill of Rights to protect ME – and the Freedom to Privacy and Free Speech as Joan Wheeler.
I will answer your comments NO MORE, however, I will continue to tell MY side of the story on my blog.
Because I have that right to tell the TRUTH of my life. It is MY life, not Joan’s. Therefore, I have the god-goven right to tell it, not Joan.

3. Ruth – December 8, 2010
speaking of Mara objecting to internet hatred –
On another forum –
was this exchange:
Posted on February 25, 2010 at 11:05 pm
PS: Fuck YOU!!!!!


Melanie Nathan
Posted on February 25, 2010 at 11:13 pm
You notice that this comment breaks our guideline/ rule for acceptability of comments – but we have allowed it to be posted here because this is the kind of language one has to resort to when they lose an argument or are too dumb to find proper language to express themselves. I feel sorry for your anger!! Please keep comment again either to apologize for your bad language or to continue to make an fool of yourself.

and another person said this to both Mara and Joan:
…..In other words, Joan, Mara, you both have valid points, but the only thing we have heard out of both of you is a wall of anger.

so I left this comment:

I am another birth sister of Joan Wheeler’s –
just want to point out the hypocrisy of both Joan and Mara. hatred, bad language?
Yet TODAY, December 8, 2010, Mara was on a different forum and hypocritically said that I spread hatred. In February 2010, Mara came to my blog (referenced above by my sister Gert McQueen) and left several posts laced with obscenities. ~~~I have no opinon either way on the adoption issue –it is not my concern – my concern is the fact that Joan Wheeler continuously bandys about stories of MY childhood — I was not adopted, was only 3 years old when Joan was adopted out of our family — I see no constructive reason for Joan to be invading my privacy with these stories of MY life – especially when she gets on internet forums and doesn’t even bother to tell the truth of my life. It is MY life, why is Joan reporting on it? I get no privacy because SHE was adopted? No – it doesn’t work that way

who is being a sneak to view my blog? tsk, tsk, using an IP proxy server, why are you hiding? December 7, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life, Uncategorized.
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got a hit last evening from this: http:// After googling this, I find that it is an IP proxy server. This means, you go to this website, and it will give you a temporary IP address that is different than your actual IP address.

I have never actually used an IP proxy server, never had the use for one, as I am usually aboveboard and honest in what I do on the internet. (see below for the one time I engaged in some espionage).  But in my research about IP addresses, I have learned about this. 

Now on Joan Wheeler’s cyberbullying page, one of her false and wild accusations against me is that I use multiple IP addresses, or different wireless networks to view her blog. Get over yourself Joan. You and your disgusting blog are just not that important to me that I need to hide myself. I have explained already why my IP address changes, through no action of mine own. HOWEVER, the first two sets of numbers are the same – because I have Verizon, East Side of  Buffalo. I have nothing to hide, Joan my dear.

But a couple of repeat readers/viewers of my blog keep hiding  from various different student loan blogs, ebonito wedding page, tvrizor, and others. Who are you that you have to hide yourself? Is it YOU Joan? roflmao! Or a couple of your adoptee friends?

No matter, the point is, SOMEBODY  is VERRRRY interested in this blog, and are desperate to keep me from finding out who they are. And if it’s Joan or her adoptee buddies, we see how hypocritical they are. Joan, who falsely accuses me/blasts me for using different IP addresses to view her website, and the adoptees who were pissed because I infiltrated their forum. roflmao! I infiltrated their forum to see what Joan was saying about me and my sisters, and yes, I found her lying about us. Because I knew Joan would NEVER tell the truth about us. And when I got on the forum, yepper, there she was – talking trash about us. It’s pretty much a public forum, altho some topics and discussion boards are private for members only. And that’s where I found Joan trashing us, and telling lies, saying things that are harmful to us. but then Joan INSISTS on her cyberbullying page that she is NOT trashing us – but turns around and goes to this forum and most certainly DOES trash us. And lies about us.

As usual, Joan berates me for my espionage, but engages in espionage herself.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting back, quite content. Because whether my regular readers want to be known or remain in the shadows, the end result is the same – this blog is getting read. And whoever is reading this blog, is learning the truth about Joan. So by all means, continue to visit her any which way you want. The only hypocritical “spy” I’m really laughing at is Joan.

Spy vs. Spy. roflmao

Manic depression – should you let it define you? Should you remain a victim? Joan Wheeler needs to get some inspiration – here is a video of actress Patty Duke discussing her illness and her refusal to be a victim. December 3, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life, mental illness.
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Actress Patty Duke and her sons discuss manic depression. — 

 I’ve always loved Patty (Anna), and admire Sean as well.
It was Patty’s description years ago on tv, about her manic depression, which made me aware of my sister Joan’s illness. I wish that Joan would have the courage to face her demons and stop hurting those who loved her. I did love Joan. But even knowing it’s caused …by an illness, I have to protect myself. And Joan MUST stop. I truly wish Joan would see this video.

 Illness or no, Joan does not have the right to self-publish a book and spread lies about me, lies that can damage my personal and professional reputation. Therefore, I continue with my truth-telling blog. Read it, don’t read it – your choice.

1. Gert – December 3, 2010

WOW, what a story!!

Yes, there is much there that would benefit Joan…if she were to hear it…


Joan did not forgive and didn’t let it go…because she always was thinking about the book, she couldn’t forgive anyone for anything and let anything go because she always had the book in her mind therefore, we sisters, must set it right

I attempted, no I did, in 1992,FORGAVE Joan, for things she did in 1982, but she betray me again, then again, in 2005 or so, I FORGAVE her, again I was betrayed by her…because she KNEW that she was publishing the book…

So…until Joan can forgive herself and get rid of that book of lies and betrayal and set it right with us and members of two families…we will continue to refut every page of that book

mental illness is no excuse of allowing lies to be promoted and believed…someone has to tell the truth…we sisters are.

2. Ruth – December 3, 2010 
Gert sent me an email- she said she cried watching the video. I sent her this email in return:

I cried too. I remember around 1990, I was snoozing on the couch – and the tv was on in the background. And Patty Duke was on some talk show. Because I’ve always loved her, one of my ears pricked up – when she started saying some things she did, describing manic depression, I shot bolt up – she was describing Joan!

and sadly, in this video I posted, where she says she went right to the thing about someone that she knew would make them suffer the most – that too is Joan. All the things she did to me was just that – but she can’t hurt me anymore. The only hurt left is the fact that she was our Doris. I did love her – we had great times together – but like a divorce from a bad person – you have to forget the love, and move on. She killed our love. You may be noble enough to forgive her – but I can’t. Don’t know if I ever will. If she were to ask my forgiveness, I’d laugh in her face.

I already told John about that post where she says she is facing homelessness due to poverty and her mother’s coming death – I told John that she better not show up on my door begging for help- because I will remind her of Dec 2004, when I was behind in property taxes, and I begged her for what money she stole from me – begged for even ten bucks – and her response was to file harassment charges against me in court – which they threw out! Doris is dead. we are left with Monster Joan.

so many lessons in this video from both Patty and Sean for Joan to learn. We can only hope – but I won’t hold my breath.

3. Ruth – December 3, 2010
the letter I’m talking about was one I wrote on December 26, 2004. I didn’t have a photo-copy of it, so I can’t scan and post it to this blog, but I did still have the letter on a computer disc.

On December 8, 2009, I copied and pasted the letter to this blog, and it can be found here A letter to Joan  

There was no threat of harassment contained in the letter, yet Joan goes on the internet talking about an unwanted contact from me, that she took to court, and the judge was tired of it all. Perhaps, I wasn’t there – all I know is that I got a letter from the court saying it was dismissed – and I didn’t even know it had gone in front of a judge! I’m facing foreclosure, Joan stole money from me, never repaid it, I asked for what she stole from me, even a lousy 10 bucks, and she takes me to court. Well, read the letter and you see if I was “harassing” her.

you know what? To save trouble, here’s the post as I posted it last December – the first couple of paragraphs explainethat I was thinking of going to a different blogsite, then I set up the scenario of the purpose of the letter. Read the letter. And keep in mind what Patty Duke said about going for what she knew would make the person suffer the most. And that’s EXACTLY what Joan did to me over and over again. May she burn in hell.

A letter to Joan

While I’m shopping around for perhaps a new site for my blog, here is a letter I sent to Joan back in December 2004. It’s pretty self-explanatory. And explains HOW Joan and I got to fighting, what started everything, her theft of my money back in 1990, and her refusal to admit that she stole from me. By the way, when she reneged on her promise to give me the lawyer’s refund, I said goodbye to her and hung up on her (we were on the phone). This was December 1990. Her response? She sent me a nasty letter, the first of many nasty letters, some full of lies, some engineered to create problems in my life, some sent to my mother in law’s house, some sent in an envelope that was addressed to me (in her handwriting), but containing a father’s day card she engineered and used her own 10 year old son. Another envelope simply addressed to Ruth (in her handwriting) and contained a small letter from her son to my fiance, another letter whose handprinting on the envelope matched that from her son’s letter. So she used her own child in our feud. Another letter addressed to me and my fiance, but inside a letter addressed to me and my oldest sister, about a chance meeting between Joan’s ex-husband and a man I never met. Another letter addressed to me and my fiance, but the letter was addressed to me, and it told me that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant. Another letter, again in another person’s handwriting and a return address of a “friend” that Joan was feuding with, was addressed to me and sent on the 25 th anniversary of our reunion, and in it she wonders why I don’t like her. And tells a lie that her son saw me driving past her house. When I didn’t even have a car.  She’s been a busy lady. Not to mention letters she wrote to the mayor of Buffalo and my job, and calling my job to get me fired. Anyway, enough of the synopsis of Joan’s sins.

So in getting back to this letter I sent her in December 2004. What was her response to this letter, wherein I am begging for help? SHE TRIED TO PULL ME INTO COURT FOR HARASSMENT! -But the court denied her petition. They could see that I was NOT harassing her, but asking for help, asking for justice. If someone feels they are publicly humiliated by the publication of this letter here on this blog, well they should be humiliated, they should be ashamed for what they did: to her own sister. Not only the theft, not only the disrespect to her sister, but her putting into motion a feud that is continuing to this day. Except I am NOT feuding. I am only doing what she is doing: putting the story of  the feud on a blog. Except for one thing: I AM PUTTING OUT THE TRUTH! And I am backing my blog up with scans of documents and evidence that proves that I AM TELLING THE TRUTH!

Dec. 26, 2004


First understand that this is not a letter to cause trouble. John and I are in a jam. First let me explain something. We bought our house off our landlord in 1996. Six months later, John got laid off. So right off the bat – we were always one step behind in paying our taxes. Ours is a private mortgage – not thru the banks – so our taxes, insurance and water bills are not included in the monthly mortgage payment. We had a 10 year mortgage and will be finished in April 2006. We have only 15 months to go.

The problem is – and you may be aware – that the City of Buffalo needs money. They need to cover the 66 million dollars given to the Bass Pro shop at the old Memorial Auditorium. This will be done on the backs of us working poor. The City has taken a hard stand – they have decided that any taxes or fees, more than 1 year old MUST be paid by Dec 31, 2004 or they will foreclose the property. They did not give anybody any warning. The notices were sent out Dec 1. They are threatening to take my house! The City wants 50% and the rest in 6 equal monthly payments.

As you know, John had heart surgery last September. In November 2000, I had a hysterectomy and was out of work for 2 months. Because of these and other illnesses, we fell behind in the garbage user fee. John got laid off August 31, 2004. He found a job and started working Nov 1, but it is only part time, 25-30 hours, minimum wage.

Now what I am asking you is for the money that is owed me from 1990 – the total is $383.50. I understand this is a lot – perhaps you can give it to me in monthly payments. I have enclosed the breakdown of the funds – and what was paid back.

I know some of the money was used by Colby – and you may be thinking that should I go after him- fair enough. However, you both benefited from my money. You took some of the money WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, reneged on your promise to give me your share of Mr. Campo’s returned fee, promised MANY TIMES to repay me, and back on your word, time and time again. You never once acknowledged that what you did was wrong. Colby did, but never you.

Joyce tried to get you to see what you did was wrong, but you wouldn’t listen. You dipped into my money to fix your car – and this wasn’t even my money – I had borrowed from the bank! When the time came to return the money to me, I didn’t have all the money to repay the bank, and I was put into debt. And then MY car broke. I did not have the cash to fix it, my cash was going to repay the bank loan. But there was not enough credit left over to fix my car. I couldn’t even charge the repairs because my credit limit was used up. You then agreed to give me your share of Mr. Campo’s returned fee. I was counting on that money. I was planning on fixing my car with that money. John and I were taking the bus in the cold, but we knew that you would give us the money. But then you called me in Dec 1990 and left a message on my machine that you changed your mind. You got your car fixed with Ruth’s money (credit), but when it came time to get Ruth’s car fixed – oh well, too bad! And you couldn’t or wouldn’t understand why I was angry. Or else you just didn’t care! You were driving a warm car, while John and I were freezing waiting for a bus. And you wonder why I was angry.

Anyway – You have been busy the past couple of years saying that you want the family to “heal.” Acknowledging what you did can start the healing process. And paying me back the money what you and your ex-husband took from me would be even better. You left a message on my answering machine early in 1991, saying that “money shouldn’t come between sisters.” It wasn’t the money that came between us, it was the idea that you took the money for your own needs with no regard as to me or my needs. It was this disrespect that came between us. You disrespected me when you took the money. When people say platitudes like “money shouldn’t come between people,” they are usually the ones who want to dictate to others on what to do with their money. I mean: It’s easy to look at someone who earns more money and say what they should do with it.

I work at B G to support myself. I work there for my bills, for my wants, my needs. I did not get a job there to fix your car. Your is your responsibility, not mine. And for you to assume that it my responsibility just because I made more money than your husband was wrong. Than you compounded the problem by taking the money without asking, (stealing) and then compounded it further by continuously going back on your word to pay me back. OK, maybe you didn’t have the money to pay me. Maybe you don’t have the money now. Maybe all you can give me $100.00, or $50.00, even 10 or 20 will help.

Now is the time for you to put your money where your mouth is. You are always talking about healing the family. Helping someone out would be a start. And John and I really need the help right now.

I tried to ask you for help once before, in June 1994. My electricity was cut off. Yes, you and Colby were not the only ones having money problems. I called you, crying, I said “Joan I need help.” The phone was disconnected. I thought we were cut off. I called again. “Joan, I..” CLICK I called again. “Joan.” click. You kept hanging up on me. I gave up and called the electric company and made arrangements. But then I called you a couple more times, and each time I called, you hung up on me. Just before I left the house to borrow money to pay the electric bill (I borrowed from 3 different neighbors), I called and swore at you. Do you remember this day? It was the day you had the trap on the line and then you reported to the police that I called you several times and hung up on you! My own sister, made a false report to the police on me. I called you for help. I was crying, but you were setting me up and betraying me.

Well, if you don’t help me now, I will not call you up and swear at you. You may not be able to help me. You may be able to help me and will leave me to hang out in the wind, as you did before. I’ll have no way of knowing the truth. Only you can answer that. Only you can answer to your theft.

John and I went out today and brought in buckets of snow. We have 2 huge plastic tubs in the basement, filled with snow. When it melts, we’ll have water to bring up to flush the toilet. This way, we can keep the water bill down a bit until we catch up with other bills. We have the 50% down payment for the garbage user fee, but we will still be strapped for the next 6 months.

When you respond to this letter, please keep it to this topic. I don’t want to hear about anything else. I am not in the mood for any more bickering. I have way too many things on my mind to engage in another war. If you can help me, that will be wonderful. If not, well ok. Ruth

The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog by Joan Wheeler. part 3 December 2, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen 
Moving right along here…Joan’s statements have a *** in front and my statements are in (Gert answers)
***CEASE AND DESIST — STOP! If these people really do not want me in their lives, they need to stop. Cease and Desist from reading my blog and contacting other adoption reformers and stop causing mental anguish for me.

 (Gert answers) No, Joan, you have no authority to tell me to stop anything! You can not stop your sisters from reading your blog(s), or writing about your blog(s)…which I currently am doing. You can not stop your sisters from contacting any adoption reformers if we choose to. And, we are not causing you any form of mental anguish…this is done strictly by yourself. You and you alone are in charge of how and what you allow in creating anguish in yourself.  Get real Joan! Get some professional help! Take your medications…but stop your own anguish…we are not the cause and we are not causing it…you are!
***I do not want my three full blood sisters in my life. They are contributing to my depression, anxiety and fear. What will it take, my suicide, for them to leave me alone?

(Gert answers) We are NOT in your life, not physically. We don’t want to be either. We are in your life because you made us part of the subjects of your book and we are refuting that book of lies. Again, we are NOT contributing to your depression, anxiety or fear. That is being done strictly by yourself. See above paragraph. Ah…you Joan are bringing up suicide…not us! But then again, you have used that threat all your adult life when you could not deal with things. You state it many times in your book. So that, not so, veiled reference is coming from you Joan, not us. We will stop writing and refuting the book of lies, when you pull it from all selling markets and when you stop talking about it. Give the book to me, Joan. Do the right thing!

(Ruth’s note: I don’t know if I’m contributing to Joan’s depression – all I am doing is taking a LIE told by Joan and telling the truth about it. If Joan is depressed, perhaps it’s because she is suffering from a guilty conscience. As for causing anxiety and fear – might I remind Joan what she did to me in the mid 1990’s – calling my place of employment trying to get me fired, stalking me by calling various departments in the hospital trying to find out where I worked, sending letters to my husband urging him to leave me, sending letters to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me, posing as me and calling child abuse on herself, trying to get me in trouble, sending me a letter telling me my husband got the next door lady pregnant, when the house was vacant, telling your friend Bonnie that you wanted to hire a hitman against me and have me murdered. How do you think I felt 15 years ago Joan? And no, my blog is not for revenge – but to get the TRUTH ABOUT YOU OUT THERE – BECAUSE YOU ARE A DANGEROUS PERSON – AND THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO BE WARNED ABOUT YOU! If you are anxious about that – you should be. Because now everyone will know you for exactly what you are. You should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you did them).

***By giving their ignorance a voice, perhaps they will leave me alone. I have real life to tend to, and adoption reform is a big part of my life.

(Gert answers) What the hell does this mean? You like to hear yourself talk about us! Yep, we know your life revolves around adoption reform, we are not concerned with that. We are concerned with the lies that you wrote in the book and every chance you get. Stop lying, tell the truth, admit that you have done many nasty things to us and say you are sorry and ask for our forgiveness.

***I am care taking for my 94 year old adoptive mother. It is a difficult process, dying and death. Just as my sisters ignored my adoptive father’s death inn 1982 by harassing my mother and me during that time and years afterward, they are unconcerned for this difficult and slow process my mother is now in. (Ruth’s note: no, she is NOT taking care of her mother – she’s in a nursing home. – and we see how Joan is revising her book and EVENTS IN HER LIFE again. She just said “my sisters ignored my adopive father’s death,” yet in the book she says that I gave her support during that time. Joan, Joan, Joan, would you PLEASE make up your mind when you talk about things? And ONE letter from ONE sister (Gert) is now changed to plural sisters. But this is typical Joan-speak. Why leave it at one, when several will do? Just because it makes a liar out of her again. Embellishment, blowing things out of proportion, this is Joan’s favorite way of talking! And she wonders why she’s always in trouble with people!)

(Gert answers) Why should I give a damn about your adoptive parents? They are not part of my family and in fact that adoptive mother has done quite a bit of harm herself to my birth family over the years. As recently as a couple of years ago she condemned my father for NOT GIVING Joan money to fix her car! It’s all in Joan’s book, you know, which over time I shall put the whole nasty story out on the refuting blog for everyone to see where Joan gets many of her crazy ideas… from the adoptive mother. Joan, again, is speaking from her Joan-centric position here. She is obsessed on the notions that we sisters ‘ignored’ her adoptive father’s death and ‘harassed’ her adoptive mother then and years later. Excuse me! Joan ignores the facts of her own misdeeds done to me and my family as her father was ill and dying! Joan makes one letter I wrote to her mother, telling of Joan’s misdeeds, into years of long harassment! I’ve already laid those issues out on our blog so go and read our blog folks for yourself, don’t rely on Joan for details, she won’t give you them. What the hell does all this have to do with the reason for this particular blog…cyber bullying stalking…seems to me the only person talking about us sisters is Joan!
(Gert answers) Joan ought to really rethink the dying and death processes before she finds herself there! No threat here, just a fact of life…we all are going to die…and Joan has quite alot to make amends for. I’ve been saying it right alone now…Joan, do the right thing…say you are sorry and ask for our forgiveness, before you find yourself on your death bed with no time left and wishing you did the right thing when you had the chance!

***As for the mother who bore me: Mom, I’m sorry your older daughters are making fools of themselves. I love you, Mom. I’m sorry you died too soon. If you had lived, and if I was not given up for adoption by my father, we would be a loving family. — Joan M. Wheeler born Doris M. Sippel
(Gert answers) And this bit of ‘tug at the heartstrings’ nonsense! Joan still has the gall to continue to invoke our dead mother and exploit her this way! I have addressed this many many times already and yet this stupid idiot continues to do it! These words are not heart-felt, they have not come from a heart…they are spoken (written) with the intent of portraying the writer/speaker as one who has some moral standing. No, Joan, by doing so you  have just proven your self to be the fool that you are. 
***To Cyber Bullies and Stalkers — Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis, Gertrude Sippel McQueen
(Gert answers) labeling! There is no basis for the labeling…it have not been proven that were are these things.
***You can search my names on Google, read every comment and post I ever wrote, send follow-up comment postings and email to instigate and aggravate me. I’ve blocked your emails, I’ve blocked what IPs I could, but you use Wireless connections and keep coming back. (Ruth’s note: oh for cyring out loud! Why the hell don’t you LEARN about the technology you are using and complaining about! YES, I use wireless – my ACER Aspire 1 has a built in modem that turns on automatically when I turn on the computer! And the modem turns off when I turn the computer off.  I have told how, (several times) on this blog, that:  YOUR IP ADDRESS CHANGES WHEN YOUR MODEM TURNS ON AND OFF. As for my using wireless – I take my laptop to work and at 10pm, BEFORE I start work, I do work on my computer – be it the newsletter I put out for my Star Trek group, or go to Facebook, whatever. And I use my employer’s complimentary wireless. I adhere to all rules that my employer requires. I do not use my employers computers, as Joan has alleged in the past – I use my own laptop. I do not go to any other facility or piggyback onto any other wireless provider. I do not even have wireless in my home – my cell phone is a basic Trac-fone that I paid 15 bucks, and add minutes every 3 months. It does not have access to the net. I do not drag my laptop to places that offer WiFi either. My laptop does not fit in my purse. Get off this delusion Joan – you are not that important in my life. And stop whining about IP addresses. It’s gotten rather old. )

 Just viewing my website is a form of stalking because I have tried to block your access to my website.  (Ruth’s note: then obviously your website provider has limited ability to do this – that’s not my fault nor concern – again, I use only my ACER Aspire One and either my home internet or my employer’s complimentary WiFi, and ONLY before I clock in, and that may be only about once a week. And actually, I don’t go to your website that often – before my desktop  died a couple of weeks ago – I couldn’t get to your website – it would freeze my desktop, which had Windows 2000, it was used, and I had it for 4 years. It couldn’t handle your website. As for your saying that just viewing your website is a form of stalking, um, why are you on a PUBLIC internet? and besides YOU are viewing MY blog, therefore, YOU are stalking ME!  shaddup already about this. whine, whine, whine. – want some cheese to go with that?)

You are like blood suckers.
(Gert answers) These are words spoken from someone who is so very frustrated in the lack of her own attempts at preventing people from speaking the truth that she can’t think of anything worthwhile to say. She has done so much, she tells the world, to keep us truth speakers from speaking. If I was a stranger, reading those words, I would wonder just what it is that the sisters have to say that this woman doesn’t want them to say! Blood suckers! Nice, I like that…sounds as if Joan knows a bit of the hidden arts! (Ruth’s note: Blood suckers? Blood suckers? NOW we are being accused of vampirism? Oh my! Okay, I do like Anne Rice’s Vampire novels, and I do work the night shift, therby sleeping during the day, but nope, hate to disappoint you Joan, I am not a vampire! I do not suck blood. Perhaps the great published author needs to take a writing class and learn how to hurl insults – because that one “sucked”.)

***You don’t want me in your life so stay out of mine. You are a destructive force in the goals that I, and other adoption reformers, want to achieve.
(Gert answers) Joan you should have thought about that before you wrote and published a book of lies…you have placed us in your life and we will stay there until you do the right thing…pull the book from all selling markets, say you are sorry to us and ask for our forgiveness. As far as us sisters being ‘a destructive force in the goals of adoption reform’…we are only pointing out those destructive forces that are presented by and in one named Joan Wheeler and in the book of lies called Forbidden Family. If adoption reformers have goals to achieve they certainly don’t need someone who lies representing them. (Ruth’s notes: in my recent post of Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind?  on November 19, 2010, I outline that 1. Joan reports 4 different years as the occurance of the child abuse call made on her, 2.Joan’s mixing up the dates and length of duration of the order of protection she got against me in 1993, 3. confusing an order of protection with probation, 4. confusing a “summons” into court with someone being placed under arrest, 5. confusing a cat with a dog. If Joan Wheeler gets these important data all mixed up, can she trusted with other facts? Why would anyone trust anything that comes out of her mouth.)
***In the past, I’ve fallen for your fighting tactics and engaged in back and forth tug of war, trying to be rid of toxic people by taking extreme measures. When taking action didn’t work, I tried to ignore, hoping that you’d go away. You keep coming back. I have gone to the police repeatedly to try to stop you. Orders of Protection only work for six months or one year, then, you are back again. New York State does not have Internet Bullying Laws. If New York did have these laws, I would have all three of my sisters arrested and convicted for causing me emotional and financial distress. But the one in a foreign country will never be stopped, and she has not seen my face since 1979!
(Gert answers) Damn frustrating isn’t? Gee wonder why the truth-speakers are so damn hard to get rid of! Sorry, my dear, there are no reasons for you to have her sisters ‘arrested and convicted for causing you emotional and financial distress’! We are NOT RESPONSIBLE for any of your emotional distress and certainly not your financial distress…that is totally your own doing. Try that fairy tale on someone who gives a shit because it holds no water! In other words, it is worthless! You are dreaming, Joan!

***My three sisters do prove my point that separating siblings, especially after the death of a parent during childhood, damages the children who bring their mental anguish into adulthood.
(Gert answers) Here we have Doctor Joan’s expect opinions about her sisters lives again. The only proof there is here is just another sentence that Joan has written where she has repeated herself! Joan’s worldview is NOT the way it is in reality! This is were Joan’s whole ‘thesis’ goes wrong. You can’t use your self as the basis of a theory that you are trying to prove! That is totally subjective and not based on any scientific standard, including the science of psychology and social work!

***My siblings have been inflicting their sick perversions and twisted obsessions upon me and my children and my adoptive mother since 1974. It appears that they will continue this right into old age and death. That is how mentally sick they are.  (Ruth’s note: well, talking about sick perversions and twisted obessions proving mental illness, how about that letter that Joan sent to me in 1999, telling me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant? And the house was vacant? What’s your answer to that Joan? WHY will you NOT answer our specific questions? I have repeatedly referred to this letter on this blog, yet Joan REFUSES to debate the issue!!! She obviously reads this blog, as she keeps bitching about it, and yes, we find little clues that confirms that she does indeed read this blog, so come on Joan – debate the issue. EXPLAIN the actual court documents and YOUR letters posted here on this blog that PROVE you are a liar. Talk about mental illness – Joan is confronted with actual PAPER COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE SHE IS A LIAR – YET SHE GOES RIGHT ON INSISTING THAT SHE ISN’T A LIAR! – THAT’S REAL MENTAL ILLNESS AND SICK PERVERSION! And sending prank letters to a woman to inform her that her husband impregnated the next door neighbor, is HARASSMENT AND STALKING, Joan.  Especially when you use a friend’s return address without her knowledge or consent. So this whole new blog of Joan’s, telling everybody how we sisters are harassing and stalking her, is a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. Joan is no innocent babe – she has harassed me for years. MY letters, were the ones telling her over and over to STOP, some in anger, yes, did have obscenities in them, I was angry – yes, you would be to if you got a prank letter like that, knowing that it was a lie. And that’s all Joan knows how to do – is lie!)
(Gert answers) Sorry, Joan, those arguments hold no water, they are worthless words and their only value is in your diseased mind. I wrote one letter to your mother, in 1982. Your children Joan…liar! The only time I ever laid eyes on them were in a park in 1992 with you there and I’ve never seen nor spoke with them since! You really can’t help yourself with your exaggerations can you? Yep, we shall continue on with our refuting your lies! If what you say here is true, then please provide the proof! We welcome your proof! (Ruth’s note: and the last time I saw your children was July 4, 1992, have never spoken to them on the phone, did have limited contact with your daughter via myspace, but I cut the ties on November 4, 2009 after YOU subjected me to a bout of verbal abuse on the phone. I wanted to keep your daughter OUT of any further disagreements. YOU are the one whos is bringing YOUR children into this – just as YOU did in 1993, when you forged a letter pretending to be your 10 year old son and sent it to me. AND in 1999 when YOU wrote me a letter saying that YOUR son saw me driving past your house – when at the time I HAD NO CAR! I spoke to your ex-husband on the phone about that. So if your kids got invovled in the Family Feud – it was YOU who brought them into it. AND in 1995 YOU brought them to the court AFTER Judge Anderson said no kids were allowed in court – this was when I brought harassment charges against YOU, and it was certainly NOT the way you LIE about it in the book!)
  ***To the Three Sippel Sisters — Ruth, Kathy, Gert
While I originally did not want to give bullies and stalkers an audience so they can continue to laugh at me, I have come to realize that giving them a voice is exactly what I will do.
(Gert answers) Repeat! Ah yes, and this is so smart of you! Thank you for giving me another opportunity to tell how full of shit you are. Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!

***It is unfortunate that serious adoption reformers and the general public who want to learn a new perspective must be subject to the content of this Blog. (Ruth’s note – I am not subjecting ANYone to this blog – if people see it and read it, oh well!)
(Gert answers) The only reason that people are subjected to this blog is because you Joan have directed them to it! You refer them to it from the site of Forbidden Family which I keep telling you to remove…which your friends keep telling you to remove. So remove it already! But no she won’t because if she were to really eliminate the nasty sisters, she would not have any reasons to continue being a victim! Joan WANTS everyone to know about the nasty sisters. She is NOT concerned about adoptive reformers, period. (Ruth’s note: yeah, Joan, why are you advertising our blog on your website? It is YOU who are subjecting your readers to our blog. – by the way, thanks for the free promotion of my blog! My readership is way way up!)

***I do not wish to be involved in bickering from natural family who found me and who refuse to leave me alone. If they, or any other user of this website, are upset over the content, the simple solution is to not read it.
(Gert answers) By having this site you are involved. Take your own advice Joan and don’t read our stuff.

***Cyber-Bullying by contacting my former blog hosting’s Tech Support to complain about me, shutting down my two former blogs, and driving away traffic from my website http://forbiddenfamily.com/, and driving away book sales, are forms of malicious bullying and harassment. (Ruth’s note: this has been addressed many times before – she took down her previous blogs by herself. And I have NEVER said ONE thing about anyone NOT to read your stupid blog. As for your book, again, I haven’t told anyone NOT to read it – I am just engaged in one big long book review.)

(Gert answers) The first few items are non-items! If people are reading our refuting blog, instead of your’s, they obviously have learned to tell who is telling the truth, us! Truth telling is not any form of ‘malicious bullying and harassment’, that is only how you see it, not how the rest of the thinking public does! People are not going to your site because they are always being subjected to your ranting and raving about your nasty bad sisters! Give it up and maybe you would have readers!

***I have had to endure many different types of bullying and harassment from various relatives who do not, and did not ever, approve of my reunion, or did not approve of my Letters to The Editor or paid Commentary in our local newspaper since 1976. The worst offenders have been and are my full blood sisters. They have individually, and together, sabotaged my growth as a person, as a writer, and as an adoption activist by putting me down, writing to adoption reform organizations as early as 1992 to say what an asshole I am, and, more recently, infiltrating other adoption reform blogs and websites to make sure they are heard. Now, they have their own blogs that are nothing but malicious character assassination, defamation and libel against me.

 (Gert answers) Boring boring boring…Joan you have already written all of this already, when will you find something new to talk about. Instead of writing it all again, why don’t you get your readers to buy your book…it only costs $40 or $50! If I had all those people, all my life, going after me, as you say happened, I would have done something different, like learn to keep my mouth shut, but noooo, you chose to continue on with this ‘I’ll show them’ attitude and wrote a book, 600 pages, full of lies and hate. It doesn’t take long to see that, once, a person actually reads the book. Has anyone ever noticed how many ‘used’ copies of Forbidden Family are on Amazon.com? Apparently, people who have purchased it don’t keep it. I wonder why? Could it be the content?
*** more recently, infiltrating other adoption reform blogs and websites to make sure they are heard. Now, they have their own blogs that are nothing but malicious character assassination, defamation and libel against me.

(Gert answers) infiltrating? I haven’t a clue what that means! There are many many general public forums and websites out there. Is Joan now saying that we sisters are not able to read and comment if we want? Sorry, Joan, you can’t stop us or anyone else from going to, reading and writing comments, where appropriate, anywhere on the Internet. I have not done so, but, I thank you for the suggestion. I just may have to get a closer look out there! Yep, we have a blog, for a year now! Well, if you say that the truth we are telling, is character assassination, defamation and libel against you…be more specific…name them…give us the example! No you won’t because you don’t like to come out in the open, do you, Joan? Come out, come out, where ever you are! Or better still, why don’t you sue us? (Ruth’s note: the infiltration was ME, and it was a dam good thing I did – because in February 2010, Joan posted the link to my blog there – [subjecting them to my blog] and urged th members there to come to my blog and harass me – and oh my goodness the obscenities Joan’s friends laid on me. – Me, on the other hand, NEVER posted any bad stuff at ALL! But Joan and her friends have filthy mouths. And on another occasion, Joan posted on the forum (Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change), called her sisters “fuckheads” and urged them to complain to WordPress to have this Refuting blog shut down. But – but – isn’t that one of the complaints that Joan has against US? That we shut down HER blog? – Even though we were innocent of this. The point is: JOAN feels as though she can do anything SHE wants. But if her sisters do the same thing – they are in the wrong! Who the hell do you think you are anyway DICTATOR JOAN?)

***I understand that my three older sisters (ages are late fifties and early sixties) did not ever want me to be involved with adoption reform. They did not ever want me to write in newspapers about the event that separated us as children. And the very thing that they feared the most — me writing and publishing the story of my life — has come to pass. They have not prevented me from accomplishing my life’s goal and that is angering them. I took great care in protecting their identities when writing the book. They are not identified. Even the photo that comprises the back cover does not give away their identities: the photo is blurred and words are printed over the photo. My book and its cover were carefully and thoroughly vetted by my own literary attorney as well as the legal department from my publisher. (Ruth’s note: Blurred or no, that’s MY photo you’ve got there and I’ve given you NO permission to publish it. Again,  DICTATOR JOAN is going to do whatever the fuck she wants, and gives no thought or respect to anybody else. Joan is NOT in the photo. Oh, she justifies it that she was in it because Mama was pregnant in it – well, then Joan, usiing YOUR logic, since we can’t see YOUR face,you are there anyway. mmm, well then logic dictates that just because you can’t see MY face clearly, I am there. AND SINCE I AM LOGICALLY THERE, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – YOU ARE IN THE WRONG JOAN! REMOVE THE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION! And whoever vetted your book or gave you legal advice is wrong – because all you can get is FREE legal advice and that ain’t worth the price you paid. Just like when you went on the internet to get free legal advice about this blog about a year ago, complaining that YOUR personal information was being put  out. But when you sought that advice – ON A PUBLIC INTERNET FORUM – you gave out our full names, and employers, and parts of our addresses. A violation of  privacy! And the “lawyer” who gave you advice, didn’t even catch that! A complaint to that site resulted in the post being removed. *snort* WHY don’t you have ONE lawyer handling all your numerous complaints? Because after they see the “real” you, they run the hell away from you! Remember Mr. C.? Who was going to handle our real estate? YOU pissed him off. NOT me, NO Colby, YOU.)

(Gert answers) I had and have no opinion about your involvement in adoption reform, you are too self-obsessed! I only ever cared that you LIED and did many MISDEEDS, to our family members! Get this straight! I am NOT AFRAID OF YOU AND YOUR BOOK. You are deluding yourself! I find it appalling that you are so insensitive to have actually published a book that exploits everyone who has ever touched your life! And to do so for money! Joan, I do NOT LIVE IN FEAR. I have NOTHING TO FEAR! Joan, you live in fear and you ought to because you are a liar! Your life’s goal has always been to write a tell-all and make everyone pay for hurting you, well you did it and look who is hurting. You did not take care in protecting our identities. I’ve already addressed that issue, so you are talking to the wind!
***The following blogs are written by my three full blood sisters, Ruth Sippel Pace (from Buffalo, New York), Gertrude (Gert)  McQueen Sippel (from Watertown, New York), and Katherine (Kathy) Jean Sippel Inglis (from Liverpool, England). They read my website now, just have they have done to my other blogs. If they don’t want me in their lives, they have no business reading my website. They are obsessed with me and are determined to bring me down. I will not let that happen.

(Gert answers) Reading someone’s blog does not mean we are obsessed, we are truth speakers and will make sure, as I’m doing now, to make sure that everytime you write about your sisters you tell the truth or be exposed…You are now being exposed! And just how do you propose to stop us?
***Publishing their full names here is not a problem as they initiated that themselves. I wrote my book with their identities concealed, but that doesn’t matter as my sisters have gone public with their own names splashed on the Internet. They  make themselves look bad with what they write.
(Gert answers) I’ve already addressed this but Joan likes to repeat herself…Joan published the family name and gave enough details so that anyone could figure out who we are. Besides that Joan herself put out, on the Internet, our full names, addresses and identified us as her sisters, long before we started refuting the book and her. We do not make ourselves bad with what we write, for we reference everything we write back to Joan’s book! We are refuting Joan’s lies, we are exposing Joan’s misdeeds and dirty deeds, and lies! Thank you Joan for giving us the opportunity to do so.

***As for public names, our names were made public first in our mother’s death notice in 1956 in our local newspaper — a fact that makes all arguments for privacy moot for anyone can look up this information if they want to. This even makes the point moot for sealing and falsifying my birth certificate — a point I make in my book to further expose crimes committed against me by the government as my name was published in the newspaper along with the names of my direct blood kin, making sealing my records to protect anyone’s identity a ridiculous and illogical action.

 (Gert answers) repeating again. The death notice of 1956 means nothing! The death happen before you were adopted, NO ONE knew that you were going to BE adopted, when Mom’s death occurred. That is not a basis for your ignorance! It is a fact that happened, not a means to get around the fact that you still put the families’ names in the book. Get real! And as you point on Joan, any one can look up the information if they want to…and you lied about us! and you misrepresented us! and you presented us and other family members, in the most degrading of ways…lies…so again, Joan your argument holds no water…it is worthless words! You are trying too hard to make a reasonable argument for yourself then you are actually digging yourself deeper and deeper! Give it up!

***I am not writing in a back and forth, tit for tat, childish sibling quabble — I am writing for adoption reform in my book and my website http://forbiddenfamily.com/. I want the legal right to my true birth certificate and I will fight to my death to achieve that goal. I am in this fight for all adoptees. It is the larger picture that is important for me. All my sisters want is to make a fool of me. They want to hurt me, my friends, my family and they are attacking professionals in the adoption reform movement.

 (Gert answers) repeating again!  Go for those reforms…but tell the truth about family members! You did not tell the truth, so your sisters MUST!

***I do not want nor need toxic people in my life. These people FOUND me when I was still in high school. They do not want to accept the responsibility for creating havoc in my life. It is their actions that made our reunion a negative one. Three against one. It is clear that they are ganging up on me. I never stood a chance. This is proof that separating siblings in the name of adoption is a terrible act against an existing family.
(Gert answers) What you really mean is you don’t want your sisters…because you most certainly do have toxic people in your life…from the adult adoptee forum! Joan take responsibility for your actions, we are exposing them so you can do just that, take responsibility! Our actions made the reunion a negative one? Read your book, Joan, then read this blog…it was your actions, in every case! That is why we are refuting the book and you! If you did NOT go after all three of your sisters, it wouldn’t be all three of us calling you a liar! You did have a chance…you could have kept your mouth shut or told the truth…you chose to lie. Our lives are not the proof you need for adoption reform…you and your own actions against us and the family are the proof you are looking for. Look in the mirror, Joan.

***Done right, adoption search and reunion can be a positive healing experience. Done wrong, adoption search and reunion, as demonstrated in my book about what happened to me, my adoptive parents, my husband and my children, and what happened to my natural father and my siblings as a result of our mother’s death and my adoption out of the family, can be a devastating process if handled inappropriately.
(Gert answers) Save this for someone who gives a damn, we sisters don’t. We care about having our lives’ reputations restored to us. The only way that that can happen is for us to continue to refute the book of lies that Joan has written and to demand that she pull it from all selling markets.

****What my sisters fail to realize is this: I wrote my book to illustrate my life, not their lives, mine. I lived this reunion, met many people, developed relationships with many people outside of them. They are not my only family. They have hurt me tremendously. My book not only details what was done to me, but what I lived in various situations that does not include them. They are but a small part of this adoptee’s life. (Ruth’s note: if she wasn’t “illustrating” my life, why is she reporting on little details of my life? Like how I was becoming a neighborhood activist [and she put me down for this], my fondness of horror movies [and again put me down for this], my interest in the Arab culture [and again put me down for it]. What do these things have to do with JOAN’S life? And why when she reports on them, does she put me down for my interests? Because all Joan knows how to do is trash her sisters).

(Gert answers) Your life was not and is not lived in a vacuum. What you wrote about are your mind-thoughts about every person and event that ever touched you. You describe every thought, intention, and deed, that the OTHER DID when you can’t possibily have known such…because you are not God…you can’t know what was in another’s mind to determine that or why they did this or that because that is HOW YOU SAW IT OR THOUGHT THEY THOUGHT. Get real Joan, you wrote a account of what your inner life lived and that is NOT THE TRUTH. We sisters don’t give a damn about other people. We only care about the many misdeeds and untruths that Joan Wheeler has done to them and that she has written about them in a non-truthful manner in the book of lies. That is what Joan FAILS TO REALIZE!

***If you who are readers of this website want to read trash, go ahead. If you want to read about my journey as an adoptee and adoption rights activist, then visit It’s up to you who you believe.  Here are my sisters’ blogs: (Ruth’s note: see, it is JOAN who is subjecting her readers to our blog. Does she not see that? I didn’t take an ad out on her blog – I didn’t tell her to publish a link to our blog, JOAN did this – on her volition! See how Joan does things all by herself – then turns around and BLAMES her sisters for HER actions! Talk about mental illness!No Joan, I did not hold a gun to your head and force you to type out the link to my blog and make you post it on your blog – you did that yourself.)

(Gert answers) I took the addresses off here, everyone already knows them and yes, by all means read both. In the meanwhile…Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!

The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part two December 1, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

Moving right along here…Joan’s statements have a *** in front and my statements are in (Gert answers). 

***Facts: Our Mother’s Early Death and My Adoption Caused Severe Mental Illness in My Sisters October 19, 2010
(Gert answers) This is a new one…gee Joan’s imagination is working overtime now! She is really reaching on this one. What kind of superhuman powers does Joan have that allows her to KNOW what ‘severe mental illness’ we sisters have and what caused them? Okay I shall grant you that a mother’s death will cause some problems with a young child, but Joan’s adoption? Let’s take this one step at a time. My mother’s death, tragic as it was did not cause me any mental illness nor did it in my other two sisters. For the record, Joan was NOT raised as we three sisters were, Joan was raised by two people, not of blood, but by adoption, who happen to have had a far different world view than we did. Therefore they raised Joan far differently from the way we were. Joan has ABSOLUTELY no way of KNOWING the kind of life any of her siblings had lived. Even with stories told to her, she has no way of knowing anything because she NEVER HAD ANY WAY OF KNOWING WHAT WE KNOW! This is such a stupid statement, with no basis of reality or proof behind it…it is another attempt of Joan’s to get people to see it her way. Joan, give it up!
(Gert answers) Joan’s adoption also had NO effect on our mental health…what is she crazy? Yes, but.. seriously…Joan flatters herself way too much. She thinks her presence and the lack of her presence was of such a great importance that when she was adopted and removed from us, it caused us severe mental illness! Excuse me while I puke! Give me a break, Joan. Do you really think people believe that line of horse shit! Grow up! you are not the center of my universe, never was, I am the center of my universe honey and you do not have any place in it! As hard as it may seem to understand, please try to Joan, you are NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
(Gert answers) Neither of these events have cause any kind of mental illness in myself nor my two other sisters. Only Joan knows about mental illness. Only she can, and does, project what is in her inner life onto others. Get a grip Joan! (Ruth’s note – actually, I don’t have a note – I’m speechless! what absurd nonsense!)
***We lost our mother at her death when we were young children. My siblings: three sisters and our brother, lost their baby sister to adoption. I lost my entire family due to relinquishment and adoption. My siblings violated our father’s privacy and confidentiality by contacting me when I was 18 without consulting him. My siblings violated my adoptive parents’ privacy and mine by contacting me when I was still in high school. My siblings violated me in many ways. My siblings actually have been stalking me since I was 10 years old when they got my adoptive name and address from our aunt. This aunt violated the terms of the closed adoption contract between my father and my adoptive parents. NONE of this should have happened as this relinquishment and adoption were wrong from thee very beginning. All of the adults involved in separating five young siblings are to blame. Dad kept the four older ones and got rid of me, the newborn. (Ruth’s note: no, Joan, he did not GET RID off you – he couldn’t take care of a newborn AND go to his job everyday – and nobody could help out. Stop the f’ing WHINING!)

(Gert answers) Here we go again…rehashing Joan’s favorite bed-time story…its the only thing that will get her sympathy in certain quarters…but she has over-stayed her welcome in many other quarters…she just doesn’t know it, so please don’t tell her! wink, wink! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, we heard it a zillion times already Joan…do you have anything new to tell us? What I like is ‘my siblings violated me in many ways’…the problem here is that Joan never tells anyone HOW! Now, if she had actually lived with us during childhood I could probably give you a zillion ways that we could HAVE violated her…but alas…we never lived together! Is that a bad thing, I wonder!
(Gert answers) But the best one is ‘my siblings actually have been stalking me since I was 10 years old’ etc etc…Gee I didn’t know I was so damn clever! Let’s see if Joan was 10, I was 19…yep, I had loads of time on my hands to stalk Joan! Let’s see, at age 19, I was married to a man who never was home to help me during my two pregnancies and the birth and the care of  their early life, I was home-bound for about 5 years. Yep, I had lots of time to stalk Joan. Then after 5 years I went to school full-time for a year, then to working full-time, raising my children alone for about 10 years. Yep, I had lots of time to stalk Joan! No doubt about it! (Ruth’s note – let’s see, yep, I was 14. Hadn’t a clue as to where she was, nor even her name. What was just said about “severe mental illness??).
(Gert answers) Sorry I can’t really speak for my other two sisters, they were younger than I and you know I didn’t live with them much either. But, wait a minute, maybe we did stalk Joan, and we just don’t remember it…boy its a good thing we have Joan to tell us what the hell we did in our lives!! Oh but before you and I forget about it, we must remember this…all of these things must have happened, because Joan said they did, and they caused Joan’s siblings severe mental illness! That’s what Joan says and what Joan says is gospel, not only is it the ‘good news’ it is the truth! by God! (Ruth’s note – say – this is the VERY FIRST TIME I am hearing this – that we have stalked Joan since she was 10 years old! Wasn’t in her “truthful” book. Never was was posted on her blog. What we have here is Joan not only “revising” her book again – but “revising” the very facts of MY life again!)
(Gert answers) We have to bring Joan’s words back down here in the on-going dialog before we all forget what we are talking about. Joan asserted to us that “Our Mother’s Early Death and My Adoption Caused Severe Mental Illness in My Sisters” that is the subtitle of this section and Joan’s reasons for why we sisters are mentally ill! Okay, got that, good, now Joan further states….
***”when they got my adoptive name and address from our aunt. This aunt violated the terms of the closed adoption contract between my father and my adoptive parents. NONE of this should have happened as this relinquishment and adoption were wrong from thee very beginning. All of the adults involved in separating five young siblings are to blame. Dad kept the four older ones and got rid of me, the newborn.”
(Gert answers) Gee do you see what I see here? We have gone, in one paragraph, (if you don’t believe me go back and read it again), from those nasty mentally ill sisters to Joan and Joan’s agenda! ‘NONE of this’, that is Joan’s favorite phrase, what none of what? Again I ask you, none of what? Only Joan knows!
(Gert answers) Hey, I feel slighted here! Am I no longer the center of this discussion, what happened, I thought I and my sisters were being discussed here. But now, all of a sudden, the tide has turned on us and it is all about JOAN and how SHE was separated and gotten rid of, oh the poor newborn that she was! Such a traumatic thing! But, hey! I and my sisters were being discussed here! I want to be back on center stage, Joan! Do you see people! Read it for yourself its all there in Joan’s own words! She is so brain dead she can’t keep her mind on one thing for long because it always goes back to being Joan-centric.
***All of this could have been avoided had someone stepped in to help our father at the time his wife died to keep the family together. I have nothing but sympathy for my siblings who are suffering tremendously; we should be family instead of being torn apart. They found me because they wanted their baby sister, but they were not willing to accept the responsibility that goes with finding an adoptee who was unaware of the truth. I suffered the most in this separation and reunion. (Ruth’s note: Joan REFUSES to see that her adoption could have been avoided if our mother had not died. Other than that – HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE REHASH THE SAME FUCKING THING?! In 1956 there was NO welfare system – NO daycare centers! My father had to work! He was an only child. His mother had to work. His father was deaf and had one leg! My mother’s siblings COULD NOT help either. What was my father supposed to do? Let a 3 month old lay in a crib unattended for up to 10 hours a day? WHY CAN’T JOAN UNDERSTAND THIS? MY FATHER’S HANDS WERE TIED! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THIS JOAN! 
(Gert answers) ‘all of this could have been avoided’…what could have been avoided, my mental illness? My other sisters’ mental illness? No, forget us, this again is Joan’s agenda, she again, forgot that she was talking about those nasty sisters of hers. Oh I forgot her agenda has to be about the harmful effects of adoption! I’m so glad that someone has finally told me what the hell is wrong with my life…I’ve been living for well over 60 years and never knew I had a mental illness!! Thank you, Doctor Joan!!

(Gert answers) Oh nice touch, Joan, you have ‘nothing but sympathy for your siblings who are suffering tremendously’! You, Joan, are such a hypocrite, don’t you see your own words? Who do you think you are kidding with such words, no one, because those words coming from your mouth, or pen, are worthless nothingness. You don’t give a damn about us and the only emotion you have for us is hate…because we will not allow you to tell lies about us. If you truly felt sympathy for us you would NEVER HAVE WRITTEN THAT BOOK THAT LIES ABOUT US AND EXPLOITS US.
(Gert answers) “we should be family instead of being torn apart” Joan tells us, but, who was it that torn us apart, time and time again, over the years, Joan? It was and is you! And the killing blow, to ever being a family, was when you published the book of lies!
(Gert answers) Joan continues with: ‘they were not willing to accept the responsibility that goes with finding an adoptee who was unaware of the truth. I suffered the most in this separation and reunion.’ Joan can’t have her cake and eat to too! When we make that fateful call, when she was 18, she was of LEGAL AGE and we had the LEGAL RIGHT to make contact. We, sisters, are NOT responsible for any lack in Joan’s upbringing…that lays squarely on the adoptive parents. So, Joan, that arguments holds no water and is in fact a non-issue. If you were unaware of the truth, that is NOT our problem or fault. We were actually led to believe that you were LOOKING for US. And again, Joan is speaking here not about us nasty sisters but her agenda…Joan ‘suffered the most’! Poor thing! Perhaps we should hold a pity-party so Joan can cry a river! Again, we went from the mental illness of her sisters to her and her trauma and her loss. Joan MUST be the center of attention at all times…even when she herself brings up another topic, she goes off track, no wait a minute, she only has a one-track mind… herself.
***I want to spend the rest of my days in peace, free from their contact and harassment. But they follow me online, write to other bloggers and to professionals in adoption to interfere with my goals of adoption reform. They are actively involving themselves in my life, reading my blog, contacting people they have no business contacting. Enough already. I want to live in peace without them in my life. (Ruth’s note: Joan – YOU actively involved yourself in MY life, when you told lies about me in your book – so suck it up.)
 (Gert answers) Oh poor thing, she wants peace and freedom from us sisters! She should have thought about that when she wrote and published a tell-all lying book for money! She can get that peace when she pulls the book for the selling market! We are following Joan! News to me, the Internet is NOT the private domain of Joan Wheeler’s. Joan can work on adoption reform all she wants to…we don’t care about that…we want Joan to answer for every lie in the book…pull the book from the selling market and be done with us! And professionals that are out there, in any field, get contacts from people that offer their pro and con opinions on their works. That is what I did when I wrote to Doctor Rene Hosbergen about his unprofessional behavior in interfering in our lives, what he wrote in the review of the book of lies and his condoning the lies and misrepresentations of our lives. Joan Wheeler can not stop me or my sisters from writing to any one, at any time!
(Gert answers) No, Joan, we are not ‘actively involving themselves in my life’…we have not set eyes on you, we are not writing or phoning you, we are not actively involved at all in your life. You are delusional if you think so. I can read any blog I want, including Joan’s. I can contact any person I want to contact and Joan can not stop me. If Joan wants to live in peace without us sisters…she should have thought about that when she wrote and published the book of lies.
***With all this hateful rage they spew, their goal is to make my life a living hell. They have achieved their goal.
(Gert answers) No Joan, you are the maker of your life. We sisters are not the cause of your ‘living hell’.
 Joan, have you READ YOUR BOOK lately? You really ought to because your book, of 600 pages, is NOTHING BUT HATEFUL RAGE. Take a look in the mirror, little girl!
***Their very actions are a good indications of three grown women who are seriously mentally disturbed. Normal people who disapprove of a writer publishing the story of her life might sue the author. I have not been sued. Instead, they take their insanities to the Internet. They stalk my every move, follow me around, read my blog, pester other adoption reformers and professionals, and post their hate-spewings on their blogs and other websites. They swear they don’t want me in their lives, so why are they so concerned with my life?
(Gert answers) Yep, we have already determined that Doctor Joan has established that her three sisters are ‘seriously mentally disturbed’…moving right along now. I don’t know where Joan gets this idea that ‘normal people who disapprove…might sue the author’. Normal has nothing to do with the act of suing any one for anything…crazy people sue too! The issue isn’t about suing the author…doing so would only BRING MORE ATTENTION to Joan…and I shall not give Joan the opportunity to be in a court room. No honey, if you want your day in court…sue me!! Joan seems to have the money to consult with several lawyers, so go ahead and consult one and sue me!
(Gert answers) What would be the advantage to me and my sisters in suing Joan? Joan has no money to pay us for damages? Oh no…the suing Joan…argument holds no water! No, I like the WIDER audience far better, thank you, but if it makes you feel better, Joan, why don’t you sue us? No, I don’t ‘disapprove’ of your story…I am APPALLED at the level of ignorance, maliciousness, hatred, and all over insanity of what you have written! We are not concerned about your life, we are concerned about the book you wrote…get rid of the book, from the selling market, and you hear no more from us. 
*** ‘they take their insanities to the Internet. They stalk my every move, follow me around, read my blog, pester other adoption reformers and professionals, and post their hate-spewings on their blogs and other websites’
(Gert answers) Joan is repeating herself here! No, we are not stalking her every move or follow her around…not yet anyway…of course we read her blog…that is why I’m ANSWERING THIS LINE OF GARBAGE and of course we go to other websites…so what’s the crime? NO Joan, you do not have any authority to stop us sisters from reading your sites or anyone else’s. You also do not have any authority to stop me or my sisters from writing to any adoption reformers and/or professionals. You simply do not have the ability to prevent us for speaking our truth.
 ***They swear they don’t want me in their lives, so why are they so concerned with my life?
(Gert answers) Here again we Joan’s obsession with her being the center of the universe. She mistakes what her sisters are doing…refuting her book of lies…with her life! Her life means nothing to us, we don’t give one shit for her life, she can have every cell and minute of it! We are concerned about how and what Joan has said and done to OUR LIVES!

***They write their blogs in the first person, making it seem as though I am actively causing them harm. (Ruth’s note: Of course, I’m writing in the first person, because I am telling how Joan has hurt me in the past, and I am taking a lie in the book and telling the truth about that lie. – Her book is written in the first person. – so? – oh, I get it! only JOAN WHEELER THE DICTATOR can write something in the first person).  I am not bothering them in any way. It is all in their heads and their reactions to my book, calling me a liar for what I wrote in my book and what I write about adoption reform onmy other website. Their psychopathic ramblings are figments of their traumatized minds. I understand this. (Ruth’s note: “I am not actively causing them harm” – You pathetic idiot – just what do you think YOUR statement about MY and my sister’s mental health is doing? Joan REFUSES to see that she CANNOT just throw hurtful words out to the universe and not expect backlash! But this is how she always has been! She insults people, and expects them to just sit back and take it! But when they will not take it – and hand it right back to her – she gets all indignant and runs crying to the police or her adoptive buddies – “help me, help me – my sisters are saying stuff about me. “)
(Gert answers) Joan by the very fact that you have written and published a book of lies has CAUSED US HARM. Yes, Joan you are bothering us…you have, on several occasions, asked people on the Adult Adoptee Forum, to ‘get us away from you’. You even ‘summoned’ those people to ‘get us’ and that post had to be moved and locked from public view! But, you are not actively bothering us! So sorry, Joan, it is not all in our heads, we have proof that you are a liar, we have shown that many times and will continue to show that as we continue on with disproving your book. Nice touch Joan, giving out diagnosis of our ‘traumatized minds’…that of course you and only you have any knowledge of. I’m so glad that you understand ‘this’…what ever ‘this’ is.
***They lost their mother to her early death and were older children when she died so they remember her. They also remember that Momma was pregnant when she left for the hospital. Neither Momma nor the baby came home. (Ruth’s note: NO, we did not remember Mama was pregnant. I was only 3 years old. Gert was 9 – she didn’t know what pregnant was. AFTER Joan was born, Dad told us we had a new baby sister. Stop ;putting thoughts in our heads 50 years ago you dimwit by the way, Joan, YOU were still in utero when Mama went to the hospital – what? don’t you remember going to the hospital with her? You were with her.And after you were born, while you lay in the incubator, HOW do YOU know what WE were thinking about? – seems pretty dam delusional of you to KNOW what MY 3 year old brain knew about YOU when you were only a few weeks old! – as always – it’s always about JOAN). 

 Momma was buried and I started a new life as the only child of adoptive parents who lied to me for the first 18 years of my life, never wanting me to know the truth. The truth came back because the four siblings wanted their baby sister, but they didn’t want the responsibility for the chaos they caused me and my adoptive parents, and later, my now ex-husband and my children. (Ruth’s note: oh the CHAOS! Give me a break! The chaos was caused by Joan and her friggin lies and stealing and other things that caused her to have her thrown out of the family. SHE always wanted her birth family – she made the conscious decision at the age of 16 to find her natural family anyway – and where is HER responsibility for the failure of our reunion? Oh of course – I forget – JOAN is perfect. She does no wrong – BULLSHIT.)
(Gert answers) Oh, that’s right, we lost our mother and we remember her, etc, etc. Joan would you please get real! This is just another part of Joan’s favorite bed-time story. Again, Joan has gotten off the sisters and has gone back to her agenda…which is…we sisters have been traumatized from all of the above reasons and therefore we have ‘psychopathic ramblings (that) are figments of their traumatized minds.’ and Joan ‘understand this’. I need a bucket to puke in!       end part 2

1. Gert – December 2, 2010

Joan states: “I am not actively causing them harm” –

Ruth answers:’You pathetic idiot – just what do you think YOUR statement about MY and my sister’s mental health is doing? Joan REFUSES to see that she CANNOT just throw hurtful words out to the universe and not expect backlash!’

Gert comments: the state of our mental health is not the only thing that Joan lies about. Here’s something to really think about…

What are the effects of gossip or the telling of lies like?

If you were to take a feather pillow to the top of a building and cut it open, the feathers will fly and go everywhere. That is the effect of telling lies and gossip…it goes everywhere.

A person can not pick up and collect every feather because the wind takes them…everywhere

And, that is why we sisters are telling OUR STORIES because our stories shall go everywhere where Joan has lied.

We are NOT DONE telling OUR STORIES.

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