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The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part two December 1, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

Moving right along here…Joan’s statements have a *** in front and my statements are in (Gert answers). 

***Facts: Our Mother’s Early Death and My Adoption Caused Severe Mental Illness in My Sisters October 19, 2010
 
(Gert answers) This is a new one…gee Joan’s imagination is working overtime now! She is really reaching on this one. What kind of superhuman powers does Joan have that allows her to KNOW what ‘severe mental illness’ we sisters have and what caused them? Okay I shall grant you that a mother’s death will cause some problems with a young child, but Joan’s adoption? Let’s take this one step at a time. My mother’s death, tragic as it was did not cause me any mental illness nor did it in my other two sisters. For the record, Joan was NOT raised as we three sisters were, Joan was raised by two people, not of blood, but by adoption, who happen to have had a far different world view than we did. Therefore they raised Joan far differently from the way we were. Joan has ABSOLUTELY no way of KNOWING the kind of life any of her siblings had lived. Even with stories told to her, she has no way of knowing anything because she NEVER HAD ANY WAY OF KNOWING WHAT WE KNOW! This is such a stupid statement, with no basis of reality or proof behind it…it is another attempt of Joan’s to get people to see it her way. Joan, give it up!
 
(Gert answers) Joan’s adoption also had NO effect on our mental health…what is she crazy? Yes, but.. seriously…Joan flatters herself way too much. She thinks her presence and the lack of her presence was of such a great importance that when she was adopted and removed from us, it caused us severe mental illness! Excuse me while I puke! Give me a break, Joan. Do you really think people believe that line of horse shit! Grow up! you are not the center of my universe, never was, I am the center of my universe honey and you do not have any place in it! As hard as it may seem to understand, please try to Joan, you are NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
 
(Gert answers) Neither of these events have cause any kind of mental illness in myself nor my two other sisters. Only Joan knows about mental illness. Only she can, and does, project what is in her inner life onto others. Get a grip Joan! (Ruth’s note – actually, I don’t have a note – I’m speechless! what absurd nonsense!)
 
***We lost our mother at her death when we were young children. My siblings: three sisters and our brother, lost their baby sister to adoption. I lost my entire family due to relinquishment and adoption. My siblings violated our father’s privacy and confidentiality by contacting me when I was 18 without consulting him. My siblings violated my adoptive parents’ privacy and mine by contacting me when I was still in high school. My siblings violated me in many ways. My siblings actually have been stalking me since I was 10 years old when they got my adoptive name and address from our aunt. This aunt violated the terms of the closed adoption contract between my father and my adoptive parents. NONE of this should have happened as this relinquishment and adoption were wrong from thee very beginning. All of the adults involved in separating five young siblings are to blame. Dad kept the four older ones and got rid of me, the newborn. (Ruth’s note: no, Joan, he did not GET RID off you – he couldn’t take care of a newborn AND go to his job everyday – and nobody could help out. Stop the f’ing WHINING!)

(Gert answers) Here we go again…rehashing Joan’s favorite bed-time story…its the only thing that will get her sympathy in certain quarters…but she has over-stayed her welcome in many other quarters…she just doesn’t know it, so please don’t tell her! wink, wink! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, we heard it a zillion times already Joan…do you have anything new to tell us? What I like is ‘my siblings violated me in many ways’…the problem here is that Joan never tells anyone HOW! Now, if she had actually lived with us during childhood I could probably give you a zillion ways that we could HAVE violated her…but alas…we never lived together! Is that a bad thing, I wonder!
 
(Gert answers) But the best one is ‘my siblings actually have been stalking me since I was 10 years old’ etc etc…Gee I didn’t know I was so damn clever! Let’s see if Joan was 10, I was 19…yep, I had loads of time on my hands to stalk Joan! Let’s see, at age 19, I was married to a man who never was home to help me during my two pregnancies and the birth and the care of  their early life, I was home-bound for about 5 years. Yep, I had lots of time to stalk Joan. Then after 5 years I went to school full-time for a year, then to working full-time, raising my children alone for about 10 years. Yep, I had lots of time to stalk Joan! No doubt about it! (Ruth’s note – let’s see, yep, I was 14. Hadn’t a clue as to where she was, nor even her name. What was just said about “severe mental illness??).
 
(Gert answers) Sorry I can’t really speak for my other two sisters, they were younger than I and you know I didn’t live with them much either. But, wait a minute, maybe we did stalk Joan, and we just don’t remember it…boy its a good thing we have Joan to tell us what the hell we did in our lives!! Oh but before you and I forget about it, we must remember this…all of these things must have happened, because Joan said they did, and they caused Joan’s siblings severe mental illness! That’s what Joan says and what Joan says is gospel, not only is it the ‘good news’ it is the truth! by God! (Ruth’s note – say – this is the VERY FIRST TIME I am hearing this – that we have stalked Joan since she was 10 years old! Wasn’t in her “truthful” book. Never was was posted on her blog. What we have here is Joan not only “revising” her book again – but “revising” the very facts of MY life again!)
 
(Gert answers) We have to bring Joan’s words back down here in the on-going dialog before we all forget what we are talking about. Joan asserted to us that “Our Mother’s Early Death and My Adoption Caused Severe Mental Illness in My Sisters” that is the subtitle of this section and Joan’s reasons for why we sisters are mentally ill! Okay, got that, good, now Joan further states….
 
***”when they got my adoptive name and address from our aunt. This aunt violated the terms of the closed adoption contract between my father and my adoptive parents. NONE of this should have happened as this relinquishment and adoption were wrong from thee very beginning. All of the adults involved in separating five young siblings are to blame. Dad kept the four older ones and got rid of me, the newborn.”
 
(Gert answers) Gee do you see what I see here? We have gone, in one paragraph, (if you don’t believe me go back and read it again), from those nasty mentally ill sisters to Joan and Joan’s agenda! ‘NONE of this’, that is Joan’s favorite phrase, what none of what? Again I ask you, none of what? Only Joan knows!
 
(Gert answers) Hey, I feel slighted here! Am I no longer the center of this discussion, what happened, I thought I and my sisters were being discussed here. But now, all of a sudden, the tide has turned on us and it is all about JOAN and how SHE was separated and gotten rid of, oh the poor newborn that she was! Such a traumatic thing! But, hey! I and my sisters were being discussed here! I want to be back on center stage, Joan! Do you see people! Read it for yourself its all there in Joan’s own words! She is so brain dead she can’t keep her mind on one thing for long because it always goes back to being Joan-centric.
 
***All of this could have been avoided had someone stepped in to help our father at the time his wife died to keep the family together. I have nothing but sympathy for my siblings who are suffering tremendously; we should be family instead of being torn apart. They found me because they wanted their baby sister, but they were not willing to accept the responsibility that goes with finding an adoptee who was unaware of the truth. I suffered the most in this separation and reunion. (Ruth’s note: Joan REFUSES to see that her adoption could have been avoided if our mother had not died. Other than that – HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE REHASH THE SAME FUCKING THING?! In 1956 there was NO welfare system – NO daycare centers! My father had to work! He was an only child. His mother had to work. His father was deaf and had one leg! My mother’s siblings COULD NOT help either. What was my father supposed to do? Let a 3 month old lay in a crib unattended for up to 10 hours a day? WHY CAN’T JOAN UNDERSTAND THIS? MY FATHER’S HANDS WERE TIED! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THIS JOAN! 
 
(Gert answers) ‘all of this could have been avoided’…what could have been avoided, my mental illness? My other sisters’ mental illness? No, forget us, this again is Joan’s agenda, she again, forgot that she was talking about those nasty sisters of hers. Oh I forgot her agenda has to be about the harmful effects of adoption! I’m so glad that someone has finally told me what the hell is wrong with my life…I’ve been living for well over 60 years and never knew I had a mental illness!! Thank you, Doctor Joan!!

(Gert answers) Oh nice touch, Joan, you have ‘nothing but sympathy for your siblings who are suffering tremendously’! You, Joan, are such a hypocrite, don’t you see your own words? Who do you think you are kidding with such words, no one, because those words coming from your mouth, or pen, are worthless nothingness. You don’t give a damn about us and the only emotion you have for us is hate…because we will not allow you to tell lies about us. If you truly felt sympathy for us you would NEVER HAVE WRITTEN THAT BOOK THAT LIES ABOUT US AND EXPLOITS US.
 
(Gert answers) “we should be family instead of being torn apart” Joan tells us, but, who was it that torn us apart, time and time again, over the years, Joan? It was and is you! And the killing blow, to ever being a family, was when you published the book of lies!
 
(Gert answers) Joan continues with: ‘they were not willing to accept the responsibility that goes with finding an adoptee who was unaware of the truth. I suffered the most in this separation and reunion.’ Joan can’t have her cake and eat to too! When we make that fateful call, when she was 18, she was of LEGAL AGE and we had the LEGAL RIGHT to make contact. We, sisters, are NOT responsible for any lack in Joan’s upbringing…that lays squarely on the adoptive parents. So, Joan, that arguments holds no water and is in fact a non-issue. If you were unaware of the truth, that is NOT our problem or fault. We were actually led to believe that you were LOOKING for US. And again, Joan is speaking here not about us nasty sisters but her agenda…Joan ‘suffered the most’! Poor thing! Perhaps we should hold a pity-party so Joan can cry a river! Again, we went from the mental illness of her sisters to her and her trauma and her loss. Joan MUST be the center of attention at all times…even when she herself brings up another topic, she goes off track, no wait a minute, she only has a one-track mind… herself.
 
***I want to spend the rest of my days in peace, free from their contact and harassment. But they follow me online, write to other bloggers and to professionals in adoption to interfere with my goals of adoption reform. They are actively involving themselves in my life, reading my blog, contacting people they have no business contacting. Enough already. I want to live in peace without them in my life. (Ruth’s note: Joan – YOU actively involved yourself in MY life, when you told lies about me in your book – so suck it up.)
 
 (Gert answers) Oh poor thing, she wants peace and freedom from us sisters! She should have thought about that when she wrote and published a tell-all lying book for money! She can get that peace when she pulls the book for the selling market! We are following Joan! News to me, the Internet is NOT the private domain of Joan Wheeler’s. Joan can work on adoption reform all she wants to…we don’t care about that…we want Joan to answer for every lie in the book…pull the book from the selling market and be done with us! And professionals that are out there, in any field, get contacts from people that offer their pro and con opinions on their works. That is what I did when I wrote to Doctor Rene Hosbergen about his unprofessional behavior in interfering in our lives, what he wrote in the review of the book of lies and his condoning the lies and misrepresentations of our lives. Joan Wheeler can not stop me or my sisters from writing to any one, at any time!
 
(Gert answers) No, Joan, we are not ‘actively involving themselves in my life’…we have not set eyes on you, we are not writing or phoning you, we are not actively involved at all in your life. You are delusional if you think so. I can read any blog I want, including Joan’s. I can contact any person I want to contact and Joan can not stop me. If Joan wants to live in peace without us sisters…she should have thought about that when she wrote and published the book of lies.
 
***With all this hateful rage they spew, their goal is to make my life a living hell. They have achieved their goal.
 
(Gert answers) No Joan, you are the maker of your life. We sisters are not the cause of your ‘living hell’.
 Joan, have you READ YOUR BOOK lately? You really ought to because your book, of 600 pages, is NOTHING BUT HATEFUL RAGE. Take a look in the mirror, little girl!
 
***Their very actions are a good indications of three grown women who are seriously mentally disturbed. Normal people who disapprove of a writer publishing the story of her life might sue the author. I have not been sued. Instead, they take their insanities to the Internet. They stalk my every move, follow me around, read my blog, pester other adoption reformers and professionals, and post their hate-spewings on their blogs and other websites. They swear they don’t want me in their lives, so why are they so concerned with my life?
 
(Gert answers) Yep, we have already determined that Doctor Joan has established that her three sisters are ‘seriously mentally disturbed’…moving right along now. I don’t know where Joan gets this idea that ‘normal people who disapprove…might sue the author’. Normal has nothing to do with the act of suing any one for anything…crazy people sue too! The issue isn’t about suing the author…doing so would only BRING MORE ATTENTION to Joan…and I shall not give Joan the opportunity to be in a court room. No honey, if you want your day in court…sue me!! Joan seems to have the money to consult with several lawyers, so go ahead and consult one and sue me!
 
(Gert answers) What would be the advantage to me and my sisters in suing Joan? Joan has no money to pay us for damages? Oh no…the suing Joan…argument holds no water! No, I like the WIDER audience far better, thank you, but if it makes you feel better, Joan, why don’t you sue us? No, I don’t ‘disapprove’ of your story…I am APPALLED at the level of ignorance, maliciousness, hatred, and all over insanity of what you have written! We are not concerned about your life, we are concerned about the book you wrote…get rid of the book, from the selling market, and you hear no more from us. 
 
*** ‘they take their insanities to the Internet. They stalk my every move, follow me around, read my blog, pester other adoption reformers and professionals, and post their hate-spewings on their blogs and other websites’
 
(Gert answers) Joan is repeating herself here! No, we are not stalking her every move or follow her around…not yet anyway…of course we read her blog…that is why I’m ANSWERING THIS LINE OF GARBAGE and of course we go to other websites…so what’s the crime? NO Joan, you do not have any authority to stop us sisters from reading your sites or anyone else’s. You also do not have any authority to stop me or my sisters from writing to any adoption reformers and/or professionals. You simply do not have the ability to prevent us for speaking our truth.
 
 ***They swear they don’t want me in their lives, so why are they so concerned with my life?
 
(Gert answers) Here again we Joan’s obsession with her being the center of the universe. She mistakes what her sisters are doing…refuting her book of lies…with her life! Her life means nothing to us, we don’t give one shit for her life, she can have every cell and minute of it! We are concerned about how and what Joan has said and done to OUR LIVES!

***They write their blogs in the first person, making it seem as though I am actively causing them harm. (Ruth’s note: Of course, I’m writing in the first person, because I am telling how Joan has hurt me in the past, and I am taking a lie in the book and telling the truth about that lie. – Her book is written in the first person. – so? – oh, I get it! only JOAN WHEELER THE DICTATOR can write something in the first person).  I am not bothering them in any way. It is all in their heads and their reactions to my book, calling me a liar for what I wrote in my book and what I write about adoption reform onmy other website. Their psychopathic ramblings are figments of their traumatized minds. I understand this. (Ruth’s note: “I am not actively causing them harm” – You pathetic idiot – just what do you think YOUR statement about MY and my sister’s mental health is doing? Joan REFUSES to see that she CANNOT just throw hurtful words out to the universe and not expect backlash! But this is how she always has been! She insults people, and expects them to just sit back and take it! But when they will not take it – and hand it right back to her – she gets all indignant and runs crying to the police or her adoptive buddies – “help me, help me – my sisters are saying stuff about me. “)
 
(Gert answers) Joan by the very fact that you have written and published a book of lies has CAUSED US HARM. Yes, Joan you are bothering us…you have, on several occasions, asked people on the Adult Adoptee Forum, to ‘get us away from you’. You even ‘summoned’ those people to ‘get us’ and that post had to be moved and locked from public view! But, you are not actively bothering us! So sorry, Joan, it is not all in our heads, we have proof that you are a liar, we have shown that many times and will continue to show that as we continue on with disproving your book. Nice touch Joan, giving out diagnosis of our ‘traumatized minds’…that of course you and only you have any knowledge of. I’m so glad that you understand ‘this’…what ever ‘this’ is.
 
***They lost their mother to her early death and were older children when she died so they remember her. They also remember that Momma was pregnant when she left for the hospital. Neither Momma nor the baby came home. (Ruth’s note: NO, we did not remember Mama was pregnant. I was only 3 years old. Gert was 9 – she didn’t know what pregnant was. AFTER Joan was born, Dad told us we had a new baby sister. Stop ;putting thoughts in our heads 50 years ago you dimwit by the way, Joan, YOU were still in utero when Mama went to the hospital – what? don’t you remember going to the hospital with her? You were with her.And after you were born, while you lay in the incubator, HOW do YOU know what WE were thinking about? – seems pretty dam delusional of you to KNOW what MY 3 year old brain knew about YOU when you were only a few weeks old! – as always – it’s always about JOAN). 

 Momma was buried and I started a new life as the only child of adoptive parents who lied to me for the first 18 years of my life, never wanting me to know the truth. The truth came back because the four siblings wanted their baby sister, but they didn’t want the responsibility for the chaos they caused me and my adoptive parents, and later, my now ex-husband and my children. (Ruth’s note: oh the CHAOS! Give me a break! The chaos was caused by Joan and her friggin lies and stealing and other things that caused her to have her thrown out of the family. SHE always wanted her birth family – she made the conscious decision at the age of 16 to find her natural family anyway – and where is HER responsibility for the failure of our reunion? Oh of course – I forget – JOAN is perfect. She does no wrong – BULLSHIT.)
 
(Gert answers) Oh, that’s right, we lost our mother and we remember her, etc, etc. Joan would you please get real! This is just another part of Joan’s favorite bed-time story. Again, Joan has gotten off the sisters and has gone back to her agenda…which is…we sisters have been traumatized from all of the above reasons and therefore we have ‘psychopathic ramblings (that) are figments of their traumatized minds.’ and Joan ‘understand this’. I need a bucket to puke in!       end part 2

1. Gert – December 2, 2010

Joan states: “I am not actively causing them harm” –

Ruth answers:’You pathetic idiot – just what do you think YOUR statement about MY and my sister’s mental health is doing? Joan REFUSES to see that she CANNOT just throw hurtful words out to the universe and not expect backlash!’

Gert comments: the state of our mental health is not the only thing that Joan lies about. Here’s something to really think about…

What are the effects of gossip or the telling of lies like?

If you were to take a feather pillow to the top of a building and cut it open, the feathers will fly and go everywhere. That is the effect of telling lies and gossip…it goes everywhere.

A person can not pick up and collect every feather because the wind takes them…everywhere

And, that is why we sisters are telling OUR STORIES because our stories shall go everywhere where Joan has lied.

We are NOT DONE telling OUR STORIES.

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1. Gert - December 2, 2010

Joan states: “I am not actively causing them harm” –

Ruth answers:’You pathetic idiot – just what do you think YOUR statement about MY and my sister’s mental health is doing? Joan REFUSES to see that she CANNOT just throw hurtful words out to the universe and not expect backlash!’

Gert comments: the state of our mental health is not the only thing that Joan lies about. Here’s something to really think about…

What are the effects of gossip or the telling of lies like?

If you were to take a feather pillow to the top of a building and cut it open, the feathers will fly and go everywhere. That is the effect of telling lies and gossip…it goes everywhere.

A person can not pick up and collect every feather because the wind takes them…everywhere

And, that is why we sisters are telling OUR STORIES because our stories shall go everywhere where Joan has lied.

We are NOT DONE telling OUR STORIES.


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