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The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog by Joan Wheeler. part 3 December 2, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen 
Moving right along here…Joan’s statements have a *** in front and my statements are in (Gert answers)
***CEASE AND DESIST — STOP! If these people really do not want me in their lives, they need to stop. Cease and Desist from reading my blog and contacting other adoption reformers and stop causing mental anguish for me.

 (Gert answers) No, Joan, you have no authority to tell me to stop anything! You can not stop your sisters from reading your blog(s), or writing about your blog(s)…which I currently am doing. You can not stop your sisters from contacting any adoption reformers if we choose to. And, we are not causing you any form of mental anguish…this is done strictly by yourself. You and you alone are in charge of how and what you allow in creating anguish in yourself.  Get real Joan! Get some professional help! Take your medications…but stop your own anguish…we are not the cause and we are not causing it…you are!
***I do not want my three full blood sisters in my life. They are contributing to my depression, anxiety and fear. What will it take, my suicide, for them to leave me alone?

(Gert answers) We are NOT in your life, not physically. We don’t want to be either. We are in your life because you made us part of the subjects of your book and we are refuting that book of lies. Again, we are NOT contributing to your depression, anxiety or fear. That is being done strictly by yourself. See above paragraph. Ah…you Joan are bringing up suicide…not us! But then again, you have used that threat all your adult life when you could not deal with things. You state it many times in your book. So that, not so, veiled reference is coming from you Joan, not us. We will stop writing and refuting the book of lies, when you pull it from all selling markets and when you stop talking about it. Give the book to me, Joan. Do the right thing!

(Ruth’s note: I don’t know if I’m contributing to Joan’s depression – all I am doing is taking a LIE told by Joan and telling the truth about it. If Joan is depressed, perhaps it’s because she is suffering from a guilty conscience. As for causing anxiety and fear – might I remind Joan what she did to me in the mid 1990’s – calling my place of employment trying to get me fired, stalking me by calling various departments in the hospital trying to find out where I worked, sending letters to my husband urging him to leave me, sending letters to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me, posing as me and calling child abuse on herself, trying to get me in trouble, sending me a letter telling me my husband got the next door lady pregnant, when the house was vacant, telling your friend Bonnie that you wanted to hire a hitman against me and have me murdered. How do you think I felt 15 years ago Joan? And no, my blog is not for revenge – but to get the TRUTH ABOUT YOU OUT THERE – BECAUSE YOU ARE A DANGEROUS PERSON – AND THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO BE WARNED ABOUT YOU! If you are anxious about that – you should be. Because now everyone will know you for exactly what you are. You should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you did them).

***By giving their ignorance a voice, perhaps they will leave me alone. I have real life to tend to, and adoption reform is a big part of my life.

(Gert answers) What the hell does this mean? You like to hear yourself talk about us! Yep, we know your life revolves around adoption reform, we are not concerned with that. We are concerned with the lies that you wrote in the book and every chance you get. Stop lying, tell the truth, admit that you have done many nasty things to us and say you are sorry and ask for our forgiveness.

***I am care taking for my 94 year old adoptive mother. It is a difficult process, dying and death. Just as my sisters ignored my adoptive father’s death inn 1982 by harassing my mother and me during that time and years afterward, they are unconcerned for this difficult and slow process my mother is now in. (Ruth’s note: no, she is NOT taking care of her mother – she’s in a nursing home. – and we see how Joan is revising her book and EVENTS IN HER LIFE again. She just said “my sisters ignored my adopive father’s death,” yet in the book she says that I gave her support during that time. Joan, Joan, Joan, would you PLEASE make up your mind when you talk about things? And ONE letter from ONE sister (Gert) is now changed to plural sisters. But this is typical Joan-speak. Why leave it at one, when several will do? Just because it makes a liar out of her again. Embellishment, blowing things out of proportion, this is Joan’s favorite way of talking! And she wonders why she’s always in trouble with people!)

(Gert answers) Why should I give a damn about your adoptive parents? They are not part of my family and in fact that adoptive mother has done quite a bit of harm herself to my birth family over the years. As recently as a couple of years ago she condemned my father for NOT GIVING Joan money to fix her car! It’s all in Joan’s book, you know, which over time I shall put the whole nasty story out on the refuting blog for everyone to see where Joan gets many of her crazy ideas… from the adoptive mother. Joan, again, is speaking from her Joan-centric position here. She is obsessed on the notions that we sisters ‘ignored’ her adoptive father’s death and ‘harassed’ her adoptive mother then and years later. Excuse me! Joan ignores the facts of her own misdeeds done to me and my family as her father was ill and dying! Joan makes one letter I wrote to her mother, telling of Joan’s misdeeds, into years of long harassment! I’ve already laid those issues out on our blog so go and read our blog folks for yourself, don’t rely on Joan for details, she won’t give you them. What the hell does all this have to do with the reason for this particular blog…cyber bullying stalking…seems to me the only person talking about us sisters is Joan!
(Gert answers) Joan ought to really rethink the dying and death processes before she finds herself there! No threat here, just a fact of life…we all are going to die…and Joan has quite alot to make amends for. I’ve been saying it right alone now…Joan, do the right thing…say you are sorry and ask for our forgiveness, before you find yourself on your death bed with no time left and wishing you did the right thing when you had the chance!

***As for the mother who bore me: Mom, I’m sorry your older daughters are making fools of themselves. I love you, Mom. I’m sorry you died too soon. If you had lived, and if I was not given up for adoption by my father, we would be a loving family. — Joan M. Wheeler born Doris M. Sippel
(Gert answers) And this bit of ‘tug at the heartstrings’ nonsense! Joan still has the gall to continue to invoke our dead mother and exploit her this way! I have addressed this many many times already and yet this stupid idiot continues to do it! These words are not heart-felt, they have not come from a heart…they are spoken (written) with the intent of portraying the writer/speaker as one who has some moral standing. No, Joan, by doing so you  have just proven your self to be the fool that you are. 
***To Cyber Bullies and Stalkers — Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis, Gertrude Sippel McQueen
(Gert answers) labeling! There is no basis for the labeling…it have not been proven that were are these things.
***You can search my names on Google, read every comment and post I ever wrote, send follow-up comment postings and email to instigate and aggravate me. I’ve blocked your emails, I’ve blocked what IPs I could, but you use Wireless connections and keep coming back. (Ruth’s note: oh for cyring out loud! Why the hell don’t you LEARN about the technology you are using and complaining about! YES, I use wireless – my ACER Aspire 1 has a built in modem that turns on automatically when I turn on the computer! And the modem turns off when I turn the computer off.  I have told how, (several times) on this blog, that:  YOUR IP ADDRESS CHANGES WHEN YOUR MODEM TURNS ON AND OFF. As for my using wireless – I take my laptop to work and at 10pm, BEFORE I start work, I do work on my computer – be it the newsletter I put out for my Star Trek group, or go to Facebook, whatever. And I use my employer’s complimentary wireless. I adhere to all rules that my employer requires. I do not use my employers computers, as Joan has alleged in the past – I use my own laptop. I do not go to any other facility or piggyback onto any other wireless provider. I do not even have wireless in my home – my cell phone is a basic Trac-fone that I paid 15 bucks, and add minutes every 3 months. It does not have access to the net. I do not drag my laptop to places that offer WiFi either. My laptop does not fit in my purse. Get off this delusion Joan – you are not that important in my life. And stop whining about IP addresses. It’s gotten rather old. )

 Just viewing my website is a form of stalking because I have tried to block your access to my website.  (Ruth’s note: then obviously your website provider has limited ability to do this – that’s not my fault nor concern – again, I use only my ACER Aspire One and either my home internet or my employer’s complimentary WiFi, and ONLY before I clock in, and that may be only about once a week. And actually, I don’t go to your website that often – before my desktop  died a couple of weeks ago – I couldn’t get to your website – it would freeze my desktop, which had Windows 2000, it was used, and I had it for 4 years. It couldn’t handle your website. As for your saying that just viewing your website is a form of stalking, um, why are you on a PUBLIC internet? and besides YOU are viewing MY blog, therefore, YOU are stalking ME!  shaddup already about this. whine, whine, whine. – want some cheese to go with that?)

You are like blood suckers.
(Gert answers) These are words spoken from someone who is so very frustrated in the lack of her own attempts at preventing people from speaking the truth that she can’t think of anything worthwhile to say. She has done so much, she tells the world, to keep us truth speakers from speaking. If I was a stranger, reading those words, I would wonder just what it is that the sisters have to say that this woman doesn’t want them to say! Blood suckers! Nice, I like that…sounds as if Joan knows a bit of the hidden arts! (Ruth’s note: Blood suckers? Blood suckers? NOW we are being accused of vampirism? Oh my! Okay, I do like Anne Rice’s Vampire novels, and I do work the night shift, therby sleeping during the day, but nope, hate to disappoint you Joan, I am not a vampire! I do not suck blood. Perhaps the great published author needs to take a writing class and learn how to hurl insults – because that one “sucked”.)

***You don’t want me in your life so stay out of mine. You are a destructive force in the goals that I, and other adoption reformers, want to achieve.
(Gert answers) Joan you should have thought about that before you wrote and published a book of lies…you have placed us in your life and we will stay there until you do the right thing…pull the book from all selling markets, say you are sorry to us and ask for our forgiveness. As far as us sisters being ‘a destructive force in the goals of adoption reform’…we are only pointing out those destructive forces that are presented by and in one named Joan Wheeler and in the book of lies called Forbidden Family. If adoption reformers have goals to achieve they certainly don’t need someone who lies representing them. (Ruth’s notes: in my recent post of Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind?  on November 19, 2010, I outline that 1. Joan reports 4 different years as the occurance of the child abuse call made on her, 2.Joan’s mixing up the dates and length of duration of the order of protection she got against me in 1993, 3. confusing an order of protection with probation, 4. confusing a “summons” into court with someone being placed under arrest, 5. confusing a cat with a dog. If Joan Wheeler gets these important data all mixed up, can she trusted with other facts? Why would anyone trust anything that comes out of her mouth.)
***In the past, I’ve fallen for your fighting tactics and engaged in back and forth tug of war, trying to be rid of toxic people by taking extreme measures. When taking action didn’t work, I tried to ignore, hoping that you’d go away. You keep coming back. I have gone to the police repeatedly to try to stop you. Orders of Protection only work for six months or one year, then, you are back again. New York State does not have Internet Bullying Laws. If New York did have these laws, I would have all three of my sisters arrested and convicted for causing me emotional and financial distress. But the one in a foreign country will never be stopped, and she has not seen my face since 1979!
(Gert answers) Damn frustrating isn’t? Gee wonder why the truth-speakers are so damn hard to get rid of! Sorry, my dear, there are no reasons for you to have her sisters ‘arrested and convicted for causing you emotional and financial distress’! We are NOT RESPONSIBLE for any of your emotional distress and certainly not your financial distress…that is totally your own doing. Try that fairy tale on someone who gives a shit because it holds no water! In other words, it is worthless! You are dreaming, Joan!

***My three sisters do prove my point that separating siblings, especially after the death of a parent during childhood, damages the children who bring their mental anguish into adulthood.
(Gert answers) Here we have Doctor Joan’s expect opinions about her sisters lives again. The only proof there is here is just another sentence that Joan has written where she has repeated herself! Joan’s worldview is NOT the way it is in reality! This is were Joan’s whole ‘thesis’ goes wrong. You can’t use your self as the basis of a theory that you are trying to prove! That is totally subjective and not based on any scientific standard, including the science of psychology and social work!

***My siblings have been inflicting their sick perversions and twisted obsessions upon me and my children and my adoptive mother since 1974. It appears that they will continue this right into old age and death. That is how mentally sick they are.  (Ruth’s note: well, talking about sick perversions and twisted obessions proving mental illness, how about that letter that Joan sent to me in 1999, telling me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant? And the house was vacant? What’s your answer to that Joan? WHY will you NOT answer our specific questions? I have repeatedly referred to this letter on this blog, yet Joan REFUSES to debate the issue!!! She obviously reads this blog, as she keeps bitching about it, and yes, we find little clues that confirms that she does indeed read this blog, so come on Joan – debate the issue. EXPLAIN the actual court documents and YOUR letters posted here on this blog that PROVE you are a liar. Talk about mental illness – Joan is confronted with actual PAPER COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE SHE IS A LIAR – YET SHE GOES RIGHT ON INSISTING THAT SHE ISN’T A LIAR! – THAT’S REAL MENTAL ILLNESS AND SICK PERVERSION! And sending prank letters to a woman to inform her that her husband impregnated the next door neighbor, is HARASSMENT AND STALKING, Joan.  Especially when you use a friend’s return address without her knowledge or consent. So this whole new blog of Joan’s, telling everybody how we sisters are harassing and stalking her, is a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. Joan is no innocent babe – she has harassed me for years. MY letters, were the ones telling her over and over to STOP, some in anger, yes, did have obscenities in them, I was angry – yes, you would be to if you got a prank letter like that, knowing that it was a lie. And that’s all Joan knows how to do – is lie!)
(Gert answers) Sorry, Joan, those arguments hold no water, they are worthless words and their only value is in your diseased mind. I wrote one letter to your mother, in 1982. Your children Joan…liar! The only time I ever laid eyes on them were in a park in 1992 with you there and I’ve never seen nor spoke with them since! You really can’t help yourself with your exaggerations can you? Yep, we shall continue on with our refuting your lies! If what you say here is true, then please provide the proof! We welcome your proof! (Ruth’s note: and the last time I saw your children was July 4, 1992, have never spoken to them on the phone, did have limited contact with your daughter via myspace, but I cut the ties on November 4, 2009 after YOU subjected me to a bout of verbal abuse on the phone. I wanted to keep your daughter OUT of any further disagreements. YOU are the one whos is bringing YOUR children into this – just as YOU did in 1993, when you forged a letter pretending to be your 10 year old son and sent it to me. AND in 1999 when YOU wrote me a letter saying that YOUR son saw me driving past your house – when at the time I HAD NO CAR! I spoke to your ex-husband on the phone about that. So if your kids got invovled in the Family Feud – it was YOU who brought them into it. AND in 1995 YOU brought them to the court AFTER Judge Anderson said no kids were allowed in court – this was when I brought harassment charges against YOU, and it was certainly NOT the way you LIE about it in the book!)
  ***To the Three Sippel Sisters — Ruth, Kathy, Gert
While I originally did not want to give bullies and stalkers an audience so they can continue to laugh at me, I have come to realize that giving them a voice is exactly what I will do.
(Gert answers) Repeat! Ah yes, and this is so smart of you! Thank you for giving me another opportunity to tell how full of shit you are. Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!

***It is unfortunate that serious adoption reformers and the general public who want to learn a new perspective must be subject to the content of this Blog. (Ruth’s note – I am not subjecting ANYone to this blog – if people see it and read it, oh well!)
(Gert answers) The only reason that people are subjected to this blog is because you Joan have directed them to it! You refer them to it from the site of Forbidden Family which I keep telling you to remove…which your friends keep telling you to remove. So remove it already! But no she won’t because if she were to really eliminate the nasty sisters, she would not have any reasons to continue being a victim! Joan WANTS everyone to know about the nasty sisters. She is NOT concerned about adoptive reformers, period. (Ruth’s note: yeah, Joan, why are you advertising our blog on your website? It is YOU who are subjecting your readers to our blog. – by the way, thanks for the free promotion of my blog! My readership is way way up!)

***I do not wish to be involved in bickering from natural family who found me and who refuse to leave me alone. If they, or any other user of this website, are upset over the content, the simple solution is to not read it.
(Gert answers) By having this site you are involved. Take your own advice Joan and don’t read our stuff.

***Cyber-Bullying by contacting my former blog hosting’s Tech Support to complain about me, shutting down my two former blogs, and driving away traffic from my website http://forbiddenfamily.com/, and driving away book sales, are forms of malicious bullying and harassment. (Ruth’s note: this has been addressed many times before – she took down her previous blogs by herself. And I have NEVER said ONE thing about anyone NOT to read your stupid blog. As for your book, again, I haven’t told anyone NOT to read it – I am just engaged in one big long book review.)

(Gert answers) The first few items are non-items! If people are reading our refuting blog, instead of your’s, they obviously have learned to tell who is telling the truth, us! Truth telling is not any form of ‘malicious bullying and harassment’, that is only how you see it, not how the rest of the thinking public does! People are not going to your site because they are always being subjected to your ranting and raving about your nasty bad sisters! Give it up and maybe you would have readers!

***I have had to endure many different types of bullying and harassment from various relatives who do not, and did not ever, approve of my reunion, or did not approve of my Letters to The Editor or paid Commentary in our local newspaper since 1976. The worst offenders have been and are my full blood sisters. They have individually, and together, sabotaged my growth as a person, as a writer, and as an adoption activist by putting me down, writing to adoption reform organizations as early as 1992 to say what an asshole I am, and, more recently, infiltrating other adoption reform blogs and websites to make sure they are heard. Now, they have their own blogs that are nothing but malicious character assassination, defamation and libel against me.

 (Gert answers) Boring boring boring…Joan you have already written all of this already, when will you find something new to talk about. Instead of writing it all again, why don’t you get your readers to buy your book…it only costs $40 or $50! If I had all those people, all my life, going after me, as you say happened, I would have done something different, like learn to keep my mouth shut, but noooo, you chose to continue on with this ‘I’ll show them’ attitude and wrote a book, 600 pages, full of lies and hate. It doesn’t take long to see that, once, a person actually reads the book. Has anyone ever noticed how many ‘used’ copies of Forbidden Family are on Amazon.com? Apparently, people who have purchased it don’t keep it. I wonder why? Could it be the content?
*** more recently, infiltrating other adoption reform blogs and websites to make sure they are heard. Now, they have their own blogs that are nothing but malicious character assassination, defamation and libel against me.

(Gert answers) infiltrating? I haven’t a clue what that means! There are many many general public forums and websites out there. Is Joan now saying that we sisters are not able to read and comment if we want? Sorry, Joan, you can’t stop us or anyone else from going to, reading and writing comments, where appropriate, anywhere on the Internet. I have not done so, but, I thank you for the suggestion. I just may have to get a closer look out there! Yep, we have a blog, for a year now! Well, if you say that the truth we are telling, is character assassination, defamation and libel against you…be more specific…name them…give us the example! No you won’t because you don’t like to come out in the open, do you, Joan? Come out, come out, where ever you are! Or better still, why don’t you sue us? (Ruth’s note: the infiltration was ME, and it was a dam good thing I did – because in February 2010, Joan posted the link to my blog there – [subjecting them to my blog] and urged th members there to come to my blog and harass me – and oh my goodness the obscenities Joan’s friends laid on me. – Me, on the other hand, NEVER posted any bad stuff at ALL! But Joan and her friends have filthy mouths. And on another occasion, Joan posted on the forum (Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change), called her sisters “fuckheads” and urged them to complain to WordPress to have this Refuting blog shut down. But – but – isn’t that one of the complaints that Joan has against US? That we shut down HER blog? – Even though we were innocent of this. The point is: JOAN feels as though she can do anything SHE wants. But if her sisters do the same thing – they are in the wrong! Who the hell do you think you are anyway DICTATOR JOAN?)

***I understand that my three older sisters (ages are late fifties and early sixties) did not ever want me to be involved with adoption reform. They did not ever want me to write in newspapers about the event that separated us as children. And the very thing that they feared the most — me writing and publishing the story of my life — has come to pass. They have not prevented me from accomplishing my life’s goal and that is angering them. I took great care in protecting their identities when writing the book. They are not identified. Even the photo that comprises the back cover does not give away their identities: the photo is blurred and words are printed over the photo. My book and its cover were carefully and thoroughly vetted by my own literary attorney as well as the legal department from my publisher. (Ruth’s note: Blurred or no, that’s MY photo you’ve got there and I’ve given you NO permission to publish it. Again,  DICTATOR JOAN is going to do whatever the fuck she wants, and gives no thought or respect to anybody else. Joan is NOT in the photo. Oh, she justifies it that she was in it because Mama was pregnant in it – well, then Joan, usiing YOUR logic, since we can’t see YOUR face,you are there anyway. mmm, well then logic dictates that just because you can’t see MY face clearly, I am there. AND SINCE I AM LOGICALLY THERE, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – YOU ARE IN THE WRONG JOAN! REMOVE THE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION! And whoever vetted your book or gave you legal advice is wrong – because all you can get is FREE legal advice and that ain’t worth the price you paid. Just like when you went on the internet to get free legal advice about this blog about a year ago, complaining that YOUR personal information was being put  out. But when you sought that advice – ON A PUBLIC INTERNET FORUM – you gave out our full names, and employers, and parts of our addresses. A violation of  privacy! And the “lawyer” who gave you advice, didn’t even catch that! A complaint to that site resulted in the post being removed. *snort* WHY don’t you have ONE lawyer handling all your numerous complaints? Because after they see the “real” you, they run the hell away from you! Remember Mr. C.? Who was going to handle our real estate? YOU pissed him off. NOT me, NO Colby, YOU.)

(Gert answers) I had and have no opinion about your involvement in adoption reform, you are too self-obsessed! I only ever cared that you LIED and did many MISDEEDS, to our family members! Get this straight! I am NOT AFRAID OF YOU AND YOUR BOOK. You are deluding yourself! I find it appalling that you are so insensitive to have actually published a book that exploits everyone who has ever touched your life! And to do so for money! Joan, I do NOT LIVE IN FEAR. I have NOTHING TO FEAR! Joan, you live in fear and you ought to because you are a liar! Your life’s goal has always been to write a tell-all and make everyone pay for hurting you, well you did it and look who is hurting. You did not take care in protecting our identities. I’ve already addressed that issue, so you are talking to the wind!
***The following blogs are written by my three full blood sisters, Ruth Sippel Pace (from Buffalo, New York), Gertrude (Gert)  McQueen Sippel (from Watertown, New York), and Katherine (Kathy) Jean Sippel Inglis (from Liverpool, England). They read my website now, just have they have done to my other blogs. If they don’t want me in their lives, they have no business reading my website. They are obsessed with me and are determined to bring me down. I will not let that happen.

(Gert answers) Reading someone’s blog does not mean we are obsessed, we are truth speakers and will make sure, as I’m doing now, to make sure that everytime you write about your sisters you tell the truth or be exposed…You are now being exposed! And just how do you propose to stop us?
***Publishing their full names here is not a problem as they initiated that themselves. I wrote my book with their identities concealed, but that doesn’t matter as my sisters have gone public with their own names splashed on the Internet. They  make themselves look bad with what they write.
(Gert answers) I’ve already addressed this but Joan likes to repeat herself…Joan published the family name and gave enough details so that anyone could figure out who we are. Besides that Joan herself put out, on the Internet, our full names, addresses and identified us as her sisters, long before we started refuting the book and her. We do not make ourselves bad with what we write, for we reference everything we write back to Joan’s book! We are refuting Joan’s lies, we are exposing Joan’s misdeeds and dirty deeds, and lies! Thank you Joan for giving us the opportunity to do so.

***As for public names, our names were made public first in our mother’s death notice in 1956 in our local newspaper — a fact that makes all arguments for privacy moot for anyone can look up this information if they want to. This even makes the point moot for sealing and falsifying my birth certificate — a point I make in my book to further expose crimes committed against me by the government as my name was published in the newspaper along with the names of my direct blood kin, making sealing my records to protect anyone’s identity a ridiculous and illogical action.

 (Gert answers) repeating again. The death notice of 1956 means nothing! The death happen before you were adopted, NO ONE knew that you were going to BE adopted, when Mom’s death occurred. That is not a basis for your ignorance! It is a fact that happened, not a means to get around the fact that you still put the families’ names in the book. Get real! And as you point on Joan, any one can look up the information if they want to…and you lied about us! and you misrepresented us! and you presented us and other family members, in the most degrading of ways…lies…so again, Joan your argument holds no water…it is worthless words! You are trying too hard to make a reasonable argument for yourself then you are actually digging yourself deeper and deeper! Give it up!

***I am not writing in a back and forth, tit for tat, childish sibling quabble — I am writing for adoption reform in my book and my website http://forbiddenfamily.com/. I want the legal right to my true birth certificate and I will fight to my death to achieve that goal. I am in this fight for all adoptees. It is the larger picture that is important for me. All my sisters want is to make a fool of me. They want to hurt me, my friends, my family and they are attacking professionals in the adoption reform movement.

 (Gert answers) repeating again!  Go for those reforms…but tell the truth about family members! You did not tell the truth, so your sisters MUST!

***I do not want nor need toxic people in my life. These people FOUND me when I was still in high school. They do not want to accept the responsibility for creating havoc in my life. It is their actions that made our reunion a negative one. Three against one. It is clear that they are ganging up on me. I never stood a chance. This is proof that separating siblings in the name of adoption is a terrible act against an existing family.
(Gert answers) What you really mean is you don’t want your sisters…because you most certainly do have toxic people in your life…from the adult adoptee forum! Joan take responsibility for your actions, we are exposing them so you can do just that, take responsibility! Our actions made the reunion a negative one? Read your book, Joan, then read this blog…it was your actions, in every case! That is why we are refuting the book and you! If you did NOT go after all three of your sisters, it wouldn’t be all three of us calling you a liar! You did have a chance…you could have kept your mouth shut or told the truth…you chose to lie. Our lives are not the proof you need for adoption reform…you and your own actions against us and the family are the proof you are looking for. Look in the mirror, Joan.

***Done right, adoption search and reunion can be a positive healing experience. Done wrong, adoption search and reunion, as demonstrated in my book about what happened to me, my adoptive parents, my husband and my children, and what happened to my natural father and my siblings as a result of our mother’s death and my adoption out of the family, can be a devastating process if handled inappropriately.
(Gert answers) Save this for someone who gives a damn, we sisters don’t. We care about having our lives’ reputations restored to us. The only way that that can happen is for us to continue to refute the book of lies that Joan has written and to demand that she pull it from all selling markets.

****What my sisters fail to realize is this: I wrote my book to illustrate my life, not their lives, mine. I lived this reunion, met many people, developed relationships with many people outside of them. They are not my only family. They have hurt me tremendously. My book not only details what was done to me, but what I lived in various situations that does not include them. They are but a small part of this adoptee’s life. (Ruth’s note: if she wasn’t “illustrating” my life, why is she reporting on little details of my life? Like how I was becoming a neighborhood activist [and she put me down for this], my fondness of horror movies [and again put me down for this], my interest in the Arab culture [and again put me down for it]. What do these things have to do with JOAN’S life? And why when she reports on them, does she put me down for my interests? Because all Joan knows how to do is trash her sisters).

(Gert answers) Your life was not and is not lived in a vacuum. What you wrote about are your mind-thoughts about every person and event that ever touched you. You describe every thought, intention, and deed, that the OTHER DID when you can’t possibily have known such…because you are not God…you can’t know what was in another’s mind to determine that or why they did this or that because that is HOW YOU SAW IT OR THOUGHT THEY THOUGHT. Get real Joan, you wrote a account of what your inner life lived and that is NOT THE TRUTH. We sisters don’t give a damn about other people. We only care about the many misdeeds and untruths that Joan Wheeler has done to them and that she has written about them in a non-truthful manner in the book of lies. That is what Joan FAILS TO REALIZE!

***If you who are readers of this website want to read trash, go ahead. If you want to read about my journey as an adoptee and adoption rights activist, then visit It’s up to you who you believe.  Here are my sisters’ blogs: (Ruth’s note: see, it is JOAN who is subjecting her readers to our blog. Does she not see that? I didn’t take an ad out on her blog – I didn’t tell her to publish a link to our blog, JOAN did this – on her volition! See how Joan does things all by herself – then turns around and BLAMES her sisters for HER actions! Talk about mental illness!No Joan, I did not hold a gun to your head and force you to type out the link to my blog and make you post it on your blog – you did that yourself.)

(Gert answers) I took the addresses off here, everyone already knows them and yes, by all means read both. In the meanwhile…Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!

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