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NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER – JANUARY 7, 2011 – STAY AWAY FROM MY FATHER! GOT THAT? January 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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first part from Gert McQueen, second part from Ruth Sippel Pace

I, Kathy Inglis, concur with what my two sisters say here.

from Gert
To Joan Wheeler, warning, take this very seriously…YOU ARE TO STAY AWAY FROM OUR AGED FATHER AND STEPMOTHER…by order of EVERY member of our family.

You are NOT to go to our father’s home, you are not welcomed there. Our father and his wife do not want you to call on the phone or knock on their door. You are not to go to any hospital where either of them may be for any reason…you are not allowed in their presence.

If you go again, like you did on Tuesday Jan 4, 2011 sometime between the hours of 11am and 6pm, the police shall be called to have you removed and charged with harassment and taking advantage of sick and weak elders.

Your adoptive mother’s end stage of her life is next to nothing of consequences to our father and his wife and the rest of our family. If you, Joan, are dreading the death of your adoptive mother and ‘want to make peace with dad’ that is YOUR PROBLEM, not theirs! They and everyone else gave you almost 37 years of chances to make peace. You had your chances and you blow them, not once, but many many times…And after you published this rotten disgusting piece of shit against every family member you have the gull to ask to ‘make peace with dad’!!

How many times do you need to insult Dad and get kicked out before you GET IT? You want to ‘make peace with dad’! Do you mean -peace like in what you did and said in your book…spring of 2008 pg 553 – 556 and Feb 2009 pgs 557 – 559. Is that the kind of ‘make peace with dad’ bullshit that you want now!! (Ruth’s note – see explanation just below)

You, Joan, are a lying piece of sick shit! And if you come near MY FATHER again the police shall be called. Get it! I hope so, for your sake!

Go and deal with your adoptive mother’s dying and what will be left of your pathetic life when she is gone, because you ‘are dreading her death…dreading it’!

Your life is what you made it, now go and live your life with the demons that you wrought and leave us alone!

Ruth’s note: to clarify to what Gert is alluding to – what Joan wrote in her filthy book –
A few years ago, after my father had open heart surgery, Joan VOLUNTEERED to take my elderly father and my elderly stepmother to their doctor appointments. A couple years later, Joan DEMANDED gas money from my father, then DEMANDED he chip in for car repairs. When he refused to be held to financial and emotional blackmail, Joan goes home and tells her mother, who trashed my father for HER past financial decisions. THEN Joan writes about this shit in her book. Yet towards the front of the book has the nerve to quote the fourth commandment “honor thy mother and thy father.” And you know what the beef Joan’s mother had? Because when she adopted Joan in 1956, she had to give up her job to take care of an infant. BUT when Joan was older – did she she go out and get another job? NO! So she sits and whines that MY father had the benefit of a working wife (but not until 1972 Dorothy, like your daughter – you don’t get your facts straight).  So this bitch is putting MY father down, and Joan puts it in her book. Dorothy also is bitching that SHE raised his daughter and now HE owes her! Excuse me, bitch when you signed the adoption papers YOU became the legal parent and guardian of that child. If you didn’t want to accept the financial responsibility of that child you should not have adopted her. BUT guess what folks? Edward Wheeler worked at Dunlop tires, making a pretty good penny! AND the Wheelers owned their own house in the suburbs AND had TWO MORE RENTAL PROPERTIES! It is not MY father’s problem that the Wheelers did not do a better job planning for their financial future. And that includes Joan. She should have been working all this time and putting money into a retirement fund instead of blowing all her money on bullshit. – and I have lot more to say on that subject in future installments of this blog.

Joan pulled that shit on me back in 1990 – I fronted the down payment and lawyer’s fees for real estate, in a joint checking account – to be used for closing costs, expenses for real estate, but Joan withdrew money without my permission (stealing) for HER living expenses. That was not what I agreed to loan the money to her for. Bitch. The money was to buy an apartment building NOT for Joan to live off. and she even says in the book “the money disappeared.” Disappeared? MY money disappeared? She was withdrawing small amounts to buy hamburgers in the mall (and she had the nerve to “treat” me to one), paying her cable bill with premium channels like HBO while John and I had only basic cable – Joan living high on MY money! SCAM ARTIST! I do not work to support Joan or her kids. And her husband was withdrawing money to blow at a strip joint. Then caused their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby – thieves, scums, deadbeats, liars – but can go to rock concerts, but don’t pay the electric bill, when they got toddlers at home – blow Ruth’s money on shit and act all surprised when Ruth gets mad.

So I was out almost $900.00 and Joan wonders why I’m mad – and 20 years later, she tries to pull the same scam on my father! And my father knew what Joan did to me and put his foot down and wasn’t about to be fooled by Joan’s tears. So  for revenge – she trashes my father in her book.
This is Joan’s way of honoring my father – holds him hostage to her and her mother’s lifetime of bad financial planning and spending habits, then further dishonors him by putting that shit in her book.  And of course while she writes about this shit, she automatically HAS to include a dig against me. Because I didn’t drive my dad around – and she did. Well, I have a JOB, Joan doesn’t. I work the night shift and sleep in the day. And I had another post open heart surgery person to take care – my husband. He had his surgery 3 months before my father. And I had to put in overtime to make up for his lost income. did Joan ASK me why I wasn’t taking my dad to the doctor? NO – she doesn’t do any dam research for her book – but just includes her flawed INTERPRETATIONS of someone’s actions and passes them off as a truth in her lying book. – and she trashed my younger brother because he owned a motorcycle, not a car, so he couldn’t take my dad to the doctor. So SAINT Joan is taking my dad to the doctor and oh boo-hooo, she gets no gratitude, SAINT Joan is sooo good and pure and the rest of the family aren’t taking him to the doctor – oh puh-leaze! How does someone dare to demand money from an elderly person after VOLUNTEERING to drive them? You can make arrangements with them – by saying, “I have the time to take you to the doctor or shopping, but I’ll need help with the gas money.” No problem with that! But to DEMAND money?  NO, that’s stepping over the line.  btw, my Dad offered to pay for MY speeding ticke in 2003, when I was on the way to his house when he asked me to take him shopping once. I said “No, it was MY foot on the gas pedal, not yours.” It’s called personal responsibility Joan – and I see you still haven’t learned that – you didn’t learn a dam thing after you scammed me and then you try to scam an elderly person – you’re an elder abuser – you slapped your elderly mother once – but you aren’t going to do that to MY father.

 

GETTING BACK TO THE NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER TO STAY AWAY FROM OUR FATHER!

I, Ruth Sippel Pace, being of sound mind and body, and being the LEGAL daughter of Leonard J. Sippel Sr. concur with Gert McQueen’s demands above. Also, J.R., our step-sister-turned LEGAL sister through adoption, and the LEGAL and biological daughter of Gi. S., hold Power of Attorney and she made it clear to Gert via telephone January 6, 2011 that she does not want Joan Wheeler near her parents. Also at that time, G. S. told Gert via tselephone that she does not want Joan near her or her husband. I concur with her wishes.

Also, on or about November 15, 2010 my father called me on the phone to invite me to a family function. I asked him if Joan would there, and he said “No.” Then he added emphatically, “I am done with her. I don’t want to see her again.”

The reason: because of the last conversation she had with my father sometime in 2009, where Joan told my father to his face that she does not like people of Polish descent or Catholics. My father is of Polish descent. His mother’s parents emigrated from Poland. Our family is Roman Catholic, some members have converted to other religions, but those of us who have, still have great respect for the Roman Catholic Church.

Joan, in her own hand-written description of her trash book Forbidden Family says “….she (Joan) had to be silenced.” Alluding to people always telling her to shut up about adoption.

No, Joan doesn’t GET IT! She has not been told shut up about adoption, she has been told to shut up PERIOD! Joan suffers from diarrhea of the mouth. Once she gets started, she can’t stop. She also suffers from chronic gross exageration! If an actual event took 5 minutes, Joan reports it as 20 minutes. If she received ONE phone call, she reports it as 10.
 
Joan has never learned SELF-CONTROL. She cannot control her mouth. I have had philosophical and theological debates with my father, so has Gert, but we learned to do it in a respectful manner, and not insult my father’s mother or his birthright religion. Joan goes on the Adult Adoptees forum and fairly revels in the fact that she left an insulting comment on somebody else’s internet post. There are several instances in the book where she does the same thing. She insults people, then sits back and laughs at herself, and pats herself on the back  for her bad manners. She doesn’t care that what she said in person or in the book or on the internet may HURT another human being! In fact, she ENJOYS hurting other human beings. She is a straight-up bitch.

I have been personally hurt by Joan in person, by her lies about me in the book and her lies about me on the internet. I have been hurt to read my family being trashed in print in her book and on the internet.

So she insults and hurts my father’s feelings in 2009, and now all of a sudden, in January 2011, she comes running to my father’s house. Why? Because she is dreading the fact that her adoptive mother may leave this world? What does that have to do with my father?

Did Joan go to my father’s house to apologize for what she said in 2009? I doubt it. She has had almost 2 years to do so. She even wrote about it in her book, just prior to it’s publication in November 2009. She “explained” what she meant that by the anti-Polish remark, she was saying about the unique Polish descendants living in Buffalo and their accent. BUT she still insults THEM by implying that the accent denotes stupidity.

For those who don’t know of this accent, watch the 1993 Harrison Ford movie The Fugitive, where he is renting a basement apartment from a Polish lady. She may be in Chicago, but it is the same as in Buffalo. The actress doesn’t appear stupid to me. And neither do many of the Polish people that I know personally in Buffalo.

But we see that Joan is a bigot! It’s one thing to have a light-hearted laugh about an immigrant’s accent, as in the movie The Christmas Story, where the Chinese waiters are trying to sing the song Deck the Halls. Because there is no “L” in the Chinese language, when they try to say the L sound, it comes out as R. The scene in the movie does not depict the Chinese people as stupid, but caring people when you see them rush to feed their patrons.

This is where Joan fails in her conversational style. She is a bigot. She is judgemental. She wants to voice HER opinion. And if you disagree with her – you are worthless to her.

THIS is why we have all tried to tell her to WATCH WHAT YOU SAY JOAN. Because with her diarrhea of the mouth, she HURTS other people’s feelings. And after having their feelings hurt, several times, a person is just going to say “the hell with you, get away from me.”

Then Joan is left holding the bag and WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT IT IS HER OWN ACTIONS AND WORDS THAT HAVE CAUSED PEOPLE TO RUN THE HELL AWAY FROM HER AND BAN HER FROM THEIR HOUSE! ~~ addendum – January 9, 2011  ~~ and I, Ruth Pace am sick and tired of always being blamed for everything in Joan’s life. When a person who has had enough of Joan’s insults, does say “the hell with you (Joan), get away from me,” Joan automatically blames ME. Even if I hadn’t seen the person or spoke to them in 15 years! I have had enough! Whatever negative activity that happens in Joan’s life is NOT always RUTH’S fault. got that Joan – I simply do NOT have such a huge influence on YOUR life. I live my OWN life – go live yours and LEAVE ME OUT OF YOURS!

It is perfectly clear that Joan is NOT WANTED by any person in the Sippel family. Joan has hammered coffin nails into her relationships with the Sippel Family for years. The last hammering was the publication of that lying filthy book.

Now stand up and be a Woman – accept the consequences of your own dam actions Joan. You brought this shit on yourself.

1. Ruth – January 9, 2011
my father is generous – when John and I had financial difficulties, we asked him for help – and got it. AND made the attempt to repay him, which he refused to take – “you need the money more than me.”
Joan didn’t ask – she DEMANDED money. …then her mother trashes my father – and Joan puts it in her book. NOW she wants to get in good with my Dad? Why? Because she probably needs money!

2. Gert – January 10, 2011
from Gert
What Joan falls to understand is that events in other peoples’ lives are NOT about her…it’s about THEM.
Joan’s adopted mother’s life and death process is NOT about Joan…and Joan’s feelings about that woman and Joan’s fears about that woman’s death is NOT anyone’s issues…those are JOAN’S and she ought to take ownership of them and stop laying it on other people’s feet.

My father’s life is NOT about Joan, it is about HIM.

As with anyone else, when he is ill or weak or in the any reminding stage of HIS life…it is STILL ABOUT HIM and it is never about Joan. Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else particularly my father.

When a person reaches advnced age or is on their death bed, the LAST THING they need is to have some mentally disturbed person, JOAN, begging, whinning, lying, crying, being hysterical, and asking to make peace.
 3. Ruth – January 10, 2011
I like what Gert says here: “Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else…”
If Joan had kept a close and caring relationship with ANY of her birth family (or adoptive family or friends), than Joan would HAVE a support system – someone she could call at any time of the day or night and cry on their shoulder when a crises comes up. I know that I do. I have two very close loving people that I have known since 1978 – my best woman-friend and my other best friend – my husband. I have close friendships with people on my job – that thru the years have proven to have my back. I have relatives, some that I haven’t seen for years, but through the new phenomena of social networks like facebook, we have re-connected. One, just left a one word description of me (a little game being played on facebook). She described me as “beloved.” Even tho I haven’t seen her for about 30 years!

Why does Joan not have this kind of support system? Because she pushes everyone in her life AWAY from her with her bullshit and her insulting ways. As I said above – after a while, people get fed up with her, say “the hell with you” and they run away from her. Joan flatters herself too much in thinking that The Three Sippel Sisters, whether individually or collectively are “bad-mouthing” her left and right to EVERY single person that Joan knows. Because we just don’t have the time for that – I have a job, Gert and Kathy may be retired, but they are busy with their varied interests.

The problem with Joan (well ONE problem) is that she REFUSES to be an ADULT who takes responsibility for her own life! Everything bad in her life is NEVER because JOAN did something, but rather it is because Joan keeps BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR IT. And that someone else, in Joan’s deluded mind is usually Ruth. As if I know all the people in her life. And even if I do, I am NOT on the phone 24/7 gossiping about Joan!

Joan, it has ALWAYS been YOU and YOU ALONE who have managed to turn one person after another against you – you give me too much credit that it has been MY fault that your friends have turned against you, your husband and other boyfriends have turned against you, relatives have turned against you. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO MY LIFE! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! I HATE EVEN THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME! The only reason this blog is up and I am doing this now – is because you published that trash book that DISHONORED MY father, as well as me, and my WHOLE FAMILY! YOU wrote the lies in the book – YOU insulted my father’s mother – my grandmother – YOU insulted the Catholic Church, to which generations of MY ancestors and my father’s ancestors have belonged! RUTH didn’t write the book. JOAN did. RUTH didn’t insult people of Polish heritage – JOAN did. RUTH did not trash the Catholic Church – JOAN did.
YOU JOAN, AND YOU ALONE OWN YOUR LIFE. NOW TAKE IT AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE SIPPEL FAMILY! Goodbye!

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Comments

1. Ruth - January 9, 2011

my father is generous – when John and I had financial difficulties, we asked him for help – and got it. AND made the attempt to repay him, which he refused to take – “you need the money more than me.”
Joan didn’t ask – she DEMANDED money. …then her mother trashes my father – and Joan puts it in her book. NOW she wants to get in good with my Dad? Why? Because she probably needs money!

2. Ruth - January 10, 2011

from Gert
What Joan falls to understand is that events in other peoples’ lives are NOT about her…it’s about THEM.
Joan’s adopted mother’s life and death process is NOT about Joan…and Joan’s feelings about that woman and Joan’s fears about that woman’s death is NOT anyone’s issues…those are JOAN’S and she ought to take ownership of them and stop laying it on other people’s feet.

My father’s life is NOT about Joan, it is about HIM.

As with anyone else, when he is ill or weak or in the any reminding stage of HIS life…it is STILL ABOUT HIM and it is never about Joan. Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else particularly my father.

When a person reaches advantage age or is on their death bed, the LAST THING they need is to have some mentally disturbed person, JOAN, begging, whinning, lying, crying, being hysterical, and asking to make peace.

3. Ruth - January 10, 2011

I like what Gert says here: “Joan has no right to inflict her own fears upon anyone else…”
If Joan had kept a close and caring relationship with ANY of her birth family (or adoptive family or friends), than Joan would HAVE a support system – someone she could call at any time of the day or night and cry on their shoulder when a crises comes up. I know that I do. I have two very close loving people that I have known since 1978 – my best woman-friend and my other best friend – my husband. I have close friendships with people on my job – that thru the years have proven to have my back. I have relatives, some that I haven’t seen for years, but through the new phenomena of social networks like facebook, we have re-connected. One, just left a one word description of me (a little game being played on facebook). She described me as “beloved.” Even tho I haven’t seen her for about 30 years!

Why does Joan not have this kind of support system? Because she pushes everyone in her life AWAY from her with her bullshit and her insulting ways. As I said above – after a while, people get fed up with her, say “the hell with you” and they run away from her. Joan flatters herself too much in thinking that The Three Sippel Sisters, whether individually or collectively are “bad-mouthing” her left and right to EVERY single person that Joan knows. Because we just don’t have the time for that – I have a job, Gert and Kathy may be retired, but they are busy with their varied interests.

The problem with Joan (well ONE problem) is that she REFUSES to be an ADULT who takes responsibility for her own life! Everything bad in her life is NEVER because JOAN did something, but rather it is because Joan keeps BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR it. And that someone else, in Joan’s deluded mind is usually Ruth. As if I know all the people in her life. And even if I do, I am NOT on the phone 24/7 gossiping about Joan!

Joan, it has ALWAYS been YOU and YOU ALONE who have managed to turn one person after another against you – you give me too much credit that it has been MY fault that your friends have turned against you, your husband and other boyfriends have turned against you, relatives have turned against you. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO MY LIFE! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! I HATE EVEN THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME! The only reason this blog is up and I am doing this now – is because you published that trash book that DISHONORED MY father, as well as me, and my WHOLE FAMILY! YOU wrote the lies in the book – YOU insulted my father’s mother – my grandmother – YOU insulted the Catholic Church, to which generations of MY ancestors and my father’s ancestors have belonged! RUTH didn’t write the book. JOAN did. RUTH didn’t insult people of Polish heritage – JOAN did. RUTH did not trash the Catholic Church – JOAN did.
YOU JOAN, AND YOU ALONE OWN YOUR LIFE. NOW TAKE IT AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE SIPPEL FAMILY! Goodbye!

4. ** « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - January 11, 2011

[…] NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER – JANUARY 7, 2011 – STAY AWAY FROM MY FATHER! GOT THAT?  amended January 11, […]


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