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Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family has been pulled from publication part 2 – Joan thanks her birth sisters for exposing her lies. May 10, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Gert McQueen
On Joan Wheeler’s web site for Forbidden Family she wrote a Thank You on May 6, 2011. In her usual way of hiding new attacks upon blood family she placed it under a new ‘tab’ on the site…she believes herself to be clever.  

 She wrote this mocking thank you in response to finding out, on May 6, that Trafford Publications, who publishes her book, told her that there were some problems with the book, they were pulling the book, but she did have the ‘option’ of a rewrite. Besides Joan’s general stupidity two other things are very obvious with this ‘thank you’ of Joan’s.

 Number one, Joan really doesn’t have a CLUE as to what she was told about her book…that it was PULLED, that it will NOT be printed AGAIN, until or unless, there is a REWRITE. That means that after all current physical books are gone there will NOT BE ANY MORE PRINTED. Any inquiry to purchase the book, be it bookseller or individual, must go to Trafford to order the book, because they print it, but will find that it is NO LONGER AVAILABLE. How do I know? Because I’ve been talking to Trafford Publications for over 4 months!

 Number two; she has found herself a writing ‘coach’, for these 4 paragraphs are NOT fully Joan Wheeler’s words. How do I know? Because I have read and know Joan’s writing style and her choice of words, as they are written in her book and on various web sites, and they are not used in this smug ‘thank you’.

 As usual I quote Joan’s word, in italic, and then I answer. I may break up her paragraphs for easier commenting and understandings. 

 Joan said: Adoption is a controversial issue. As with any issue, there are more ways than one to view it. I have written a book which puts forth my personal experiences as an adoptee and while I speak from my own point of view, there are issues which other adoptees may have encountered.

 Gert says: The blood family’s objections are not with any issues of adoption. Any of our personal views and opinions on that ‘controversial’ issue has nothing to do with what we have against and with Joan Wheeler or her book. Joan cannot use and abuse relatives for the sake of telling HER story…without impunity…there are consequences; that is the blood family’s objections not adoption itself. We also object to Joan’s insistence on saying that we, the blood family, have suffered or are suffering because she was adopted! What utter garbage! That thought and belief is strictly a fabrication and figment of Joan’s mind due to her and only her upbringing and has no basis on truth or reality in relationship to the blood family! Joan has lived her life with adoption syndromes and has projected all that crap upon others to promote her agenda. She hasn’t a clue as to what kind of a person I am…why…because she hasn’t had any meaningful contact with me for over 30 years and the two contacts she did have she manipulated to suit her own purposes in the book! 

 So, our issues are with the way Joan Wheeler has portrayed us individually and collectively as a family, with gross dishonor, with the pure intent to magnify and sensationalize a tragic death of a mother and those that were left behind. We totally object to Joan’s ‘views’ of our lives and her attempts to capitalize on us for mere financial gains because she doesn’t work, never has worked and needs a source of income. Not on our backs!

 She says that she has told her experiences as an adoptee…no…she has put forth her ‘point of view’. That point of view is not the reality, from those that have suffered from her, over the years, and continuing on with the publication of this book. We the blood family NEVER gave her any permission to use our lives for her personal crusade against adoption. Our refuting blog’s purpose is to set forth the truth from Joan’s lies and gross misrepresentations. There is no one that will gain any insights to help them with their own struggles of adoption by believing what Joan Wheeler has written about HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, for Joan is a mentally ill person! Buyer and reader beware!

 Joan said: I could not have written this book without the assistance, albeit unintentional, of my natural family. As it happened, I was found by siblings I did not know existed. It is due only to that that this book was made possible. The full-blooded sisters who found me have, through blogs which can only be described as hostile, have contributed enormously to bringing Forbidden Family to the attention of those who are interested in the different aspects of adoption and what happens when siblings are separated by adoption. For their assistance in doing so, I thank them.

 Gert says: Yes, indeed the natural family knew nothing about the fact that Joan was planning, for years, on using our lives for a smut filled book directly from her diseased mind where she ‘exposes them all’ (Joan’s words pg 452 of her book). That is why Joan could NEVER follow up with the many attempts, by various blood relatives, at reconciling with her over the years, for to do so, would mean that Joan’s book and her life story, as she knew it, could not be written or published.

 So what did the blood family get for ‘finding’ her? Nothing but pain and grief! And, she can’t even tell the story, here, truthfully! She says ‘the full-blooded sisters who found me have’…what happened to the full-blooded brother who was also there in the finding of her? Forget the fact that he is now dead but, like our father, had suffered at the hands of Joan and who distanced themselves from her years before their deaths. No, Joan only wants to go after the sisters because we are standing in the way of her fantasies, for every time she mentions the blood family we answer her!

 She also is lying here by saying that we have ‘blogs’, there is only one that is refuting her lies! Again, Joan is a liar for it is Joan herself that has two blogs where she very much attacks the blood family. We are hostile? Well depends on which side of the fence you happen to be on! From our side it is Joan who is hostile as in her second blog against us. Joan’s belief that we ‘have contributed enormously to bringing Forbidden Family to the attention of those who are interested in the different aspects of adoption and what happens when siblings are separated by adoption’ is yet another figment of her misguided understanding of how people are viewing her. If Joan is thinking of her fellow adoptees, well then, she is only one of many sick individuals that feed on each other’s sick lives. They are her fellow victims, they are only interested in browbeating the world into seeing their views and they deserve each other. On the other hand, I have seen for myself how sane thinking people view the angry words of people like Joan who is only kidding herself that she is helping her cause.

 What actually happens to siblings separated by adoption? I don’t really know and don’t give a damm. I know what I suffered, by the hands of a sibling that was placed in adoption and then reunited with us! My life before her was great! I was not suffering from lack of knowing her! The 8 years that she was in life… was total hell! My life after I divorced and banished her from my life was doubly great! I did not suffer from lack of her in my life ever! I am only NOW SUFFERING because she wrote a lying book about my life and family and has the gall to rub salt in old wounds that she caused in the first place. No, adoption separation is not the issue; the issue is Joan’s sick interference in the lives of others! Beware!

 Joan said: If you have read their blogs, you will find their views of my book, and of me, and will read their personal accounts of what it means for them to have found their long-lost baby sister. Yes, you will find their bitterness, jealously, resentment, accusations and allegations which they have made. You can then form an idea of the real, concrete issues surrounding adoption, particularly, my adoption and the detrimental effects that separating siblings has on all involved.

 Gert says: Here again, Joan is fantasying, she really believes she is the great savior for those in adoption trauma, what bullshit. I don’t dwell on what ‘it means to have found their long-lost baby sister’ for I know, first hand. Joan has this warp view that because we ‘lost’ her we are ‘damaged’…far from it! Joan has a theory and she has tried to make us fit into her theory, problem is, we don’t buy her theory and neither does anyone else that is sane and/or wants to keep a crazy person away from them. No thank you Joan…I have been very happy in my life since that day in 1981 when I told you to GET LOST. It is only since you published a book of lies in 2009 that I have even a thought of you and now you have my FULL ATTENTION, the attention that YOU WANTED all your life, but never had. Stop projecting your loses onto your sisters, we don’t give a damm about you. What point of Joan’s life are we jealous of? Got me! No thank you! I have my own life, always had my own life, like my own life and am not jealous of anyone. Again, Joan is showing the world her own lack of character!

 Joan said: Without the assistance of my full-blood sisters and their blogs, it is doubtful that Forbidden Family could have achieved the level of publicity it has. I recognize that, as with any controversial issue, there will be those who will take one side without examining the other and those who are willing to allow others to do their thinking for them. These people are not my audience I am speaking to those who have the insight to examine both sides of an issue, and only then draw whatever conclusions they chose.

 Gert says: There is a great deal of difference between publicity and sales. There is also the level in the kind of publicity one gets. Contrary to what Joan believes the publicity, of this book of lies, that has come from us sisters, is exactly what we have intended…to show the world how crazy Joan Wheeler is and how to counter such a individual if one, such as Joan, is in their lives. So, Miss Joan, once again you have misread what actual reality is! And again, Joan is showing us her faulty logic and double-speak to confuse the reader. READ DEEPLY here! She is clever with words…and she believes every word of her own propaganda.

 Joan said: My intention in writing this book was not to attack or impugn anyone, but merely to relate my personal experiences in the hope that it may be of benefit to others. Any discrepancy in names, or dates, are due to me trying to protect the anonymity of those involved (they themselves have gone public with their identities), but the incidents and circumstances are accurate.

 Gert says: Why does she feel the need to tell us, again, her intentions…of course it was to attack and impugn, the entire book is a raging attack on everyone and everything that favors adoption! Does Joan really believe that the world is full of fools and that they can’t see the details of a mentally ill person in the name of Joan Wheeler as she tells her life story?

 And here are more lies. It was Joan herself that made public our real identities, not once but several times. On Pg 634, footnote #15 of Forbidden Family she references her article The Secret is Out, written and published in 1990 where Joan published our full real names. We objected to that then and as Joan tells it, we harassed her. No! If she was not ‘outing’ the identities of us in the book Forbidden Family then WHY did she put in the reference to an article that identifies us and where anyone could find that information? And then why on the web page for Forbidden Family does she have our names? Why does she have a SECOND web page, with our names were she spreads more vicious lies and hate? Why does she go on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and tell our names and whine and cry and ask for their help in beating us up?

 And the incidents and circumstances are NOT accurate, as Joan portrays them, that is why there is this refuting blog…to tell the truth.

 Further more Joan went out on the Internet and made public our identities…and here is the proof.

 from a google search:   

Personal Injury Law Questions – I am a disabled social worker on

Dec 19, 2009 Refuting Some of Joan Mary Wheeler’s Statements « Refutting There is another sister by the name of Gert McQueen who lives in Watertown,
www.justanswer.comPersonal Injury LawCached
 Customer Question

I am a disabled social worker on SSI; limited income. I just published a book that is memoir and social activism. I am an adoptee reunited with my natural family for 35 years. My three old sisters (ages 57, 61, 62) have been harassing me by various methods for over three decades, and so have adoptive relatives. They attacked me for: writing articles in the paper for adoptees’ civil rights to our sealed birth certificates and now, because I have published my book. I’ve had numerous Orders of Protection, but they keep bothering me. I want them to stay away from me forever. No contact at all. My sisters that I was reunited with have used hate mail, hate phone calls to invade my home and homelife. They’d die down for a few years, and then start up again. They even charged my then-80 year old adoptive mother with sex abuse, and me, because, according to the workers who showed up at the door, “I was having sex with my sister’s boyfriend on the living room couch and my mother forced the kids to watch.” We went through three months of court in 1997 to clear our names. Now, my sisters are publically humiliating me. They shut down my two former blogs because they do not want me to write a book about my life. Yes, I followed a lawyer’s advice on how to write a book. I am an adoption activist. They read my website, twist what I say, and then they post malicious and libelous material on their blogs naming me outright. I went to the police. No help. Freedom of Press. Really? What they are writing is turned away readership from my blog, which means, I have not only lost credibility, but business in not selling my book. How can I get them to cease and desist? Thank You, Joan Wheeler Buffalo, New York USA My website: http://forbiddenfamily.com My book’s sales link: http://www.trafford.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000137652 My sisters’ blogs to attack me: http://chayelet.wordpress.com/ — Kathy Inglis uses the name of Chayelet. This woman lives in Liverpool, England • ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/…/my-journal-of-joan-wheelers-abuse/ – Cached This woman lives in Buffalo, New York, several miles away from me. • Refuting Some of Joan Mary Wheeler’s Statements « Refutting There is another sister by the name of Gert McQueen who lives in Watertown, New York. How can I protect myself from them?

Submitted: 465 days and 17 hours ago.
Category: Personal Injury Law
Value: $15
Status: CLOSED
 Optional Information

State/Country relating to question: New York
Already Tried:
Police, no help, they said Freedom of Speech so my sisters can say anything online that they want to, even namimng me outright and maliciously defmaing me. I feel my personal and professional reputation has been ruined. I cannot afford to pay for a lwyer as my income in only$697 per month. But I could sell the book and write more books. Please look at those websites and tell me what I can do. Also, the one inn Liverpool states that I haev tried to deport her. I have no idea what she is talking about. I have not seen her since 1979 when I visited Liverpool, UK. We last spoke on the phone in 1988. The three sisters have written me a letter “throwing” me out of the family in 1992. I do not have contact with tham at all, but they find ways to harass me. Like getting my unlisted phone number from another relative and calling me. Now, it is cyber bullying and stalking and nalicious attacks upon me. Can I get them to pay me restitution for malicious defamtion of character and lying which drives people away frommy website?

 Accepted Answer
 You can stop your sisters and you can sell your books. You can sue them for harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. This way you could get monetary damages and an injunction to stop them from bullying you on their blogs. If they are preventing people from buying your book, you may also have a claim tortious interference with contract. You can also sue them for libel and slander, for lying about on their websites. You may also have another claim for tortious interference with contract because they froced you to shut down your websites. However, you will need a lawyer who can take this case to trial. There are personla injury lawyers who charge on a contingency fee basis. This way, they do not get paid unless you win. Call your local bar and ask for names of personal injury lawyers who specialize in these types of claims. Research these names. Go on www.marindale.com. Good luck and remember to press accept so that I may get credit.

Read more: Personal Injury Law Questions – I am a disabled social worker on SSI; limited income. I just – JustAnswer http://www.justanswer.com/personal-injury-law/2whab-disabled-social-worker-ssi-limited-income-just.html#ixzz1GoJRY46R

 And continuing on… what information does Trafford Publishing give to their potential authors…here are a couple of interesting points taken from their site.  (Ruth’s note: the sentances underlined below are the key points that Joan violated in her book and was the basis of the PUBLISHER’S decision to pull the book.- and what we have been saying on this blog since December 2009!)

 What is considered libel?

Libel has a variety of definitions throughout the United States depending on each state’s laws, but in general it is a written false defamation, or the publication of any statement that could cause damage to an individual or organization’s character or reputation.

 How can I protect myself against libel in publishing?
Although truth is in most cases a defense in a libel case, it is often difficult and lengthy (thus expensive) to prove in court. If your published book tells a true story about events that occurred, the first step to protect yourself is by changing the names of people or organizations in the book. However, simply changing a name from “Jim” to “David” is often not enough. If a person or others can recognize themselves from the situation, places or events even if their name is changed, you can still be sued for libel. Changing the location also helps to distance the story so that it is unrecognizable to real people. You can use a pen name to further distance any recognizable trail back to you or, most importantly, the real person, in order to avoid trouble.

For instance, imagine an individual reader knows you, the author in real life. If you make claims about your husband’s doctor, even if you change your husband’s name and the doctor’s name, but you keep your real name, it is pretty clear to someone involved who you are talking about in reality. By using a pen name and changing the name of people in the book, this will help to further remove the specifics and protect you against any libel claims.

Voicing an opinion is not libelous; however, be careful that you are not actually making an accusatory statement. Even if you say “in my opinion” before a statement, that does not automatically make the statement an opinion if you are speculating or asserting something about someone.

Do not make the following statements or claims, as they are clear grounds for a libel case: Falsely accusing someone of a crime, or having been charged, indicted or convicted of a crime; falsely identifying someone as the carrier of an infectious or loathsome disease; falsely charging someone or an organization with a claim that discredits or disqualifies a business, office or trade and lowers their profitability; and falsely accusing someone as being impotent.

Seriously consider if you are self-publishing a book that makes statements or reveals information that could damage someone, and consult a legal advisor if you are concerned.

Gert says: So there you have it, Joan in her self-importance deemed it a good thing for herself to use her real name and not take the advise of her publisher. She did not want to distance herself from those that she was writing about because she gave more than enough information in the pages of her book for ANYONE who knows the family to IDENTIFY the family and individuals and that is WHAT we sisters have been saying to the world…Joan Wheeler is a liar and her book is garbage and full of hate and disease.

 Joan said: It is my sincere hope that my sisters will continue to help publicize Forbidden Family as it is a must read for those interested in a thoughtful, in depth look at the issues surrounding this unnecessary closed adoption, and the possible ramifications on future families in reunion. And I would like to thank those who have read the book. I hope I have given them as much to think about as the satisfaction they have given me!

 Gert says: Rest assured Joan that we will indeed continue to show light on the book of lies that you wrote! If anyone is really willing to part with $45 to get anyone of the remaining copies of it, perhaps they ought to get you to sign it…for you are indeed a first class act…of stupidity! She is so full of herself to believe that her book is a ‘must read’ and that it is a ‘in depth look’ at the issues! Oh yes, she has given much for people to think about. Where are ALL those positive reviews of this great and wonderful book? There are only four that I have seen and I have debunked them all! So Joan, how about getting all those that you claim have benefited from this great and wonderful book to come forth and write something and put their names to it!

 What is your next act going to be Joan? You bombed with this one! A rewrite? Gosh to rewrite this book of over 600 pages, and take out all the stuff of your birth family will probably leave you with perhaps 200 pages! Better get busy and start that rewrite because this first book is DEAD!   

from Ruth – I shall be putting up my views on Gert’s post tomorrow – May 11, 2011, in the meantime, I have been authorized to post this comment from Kathy Inglis:

 I wasn’t going to comment, but, must say Thanks to Gert for enlightening me with regard to what Trafford consider as Libel. And all thanks to both Ruth and Gert for their tenacity in this matter.

 My one and only comment to Ms Wheeler is that she had better pray I never win the Lottery, because it is only lack of sufficient funds on my part that I have not taken legal action against her, apart from the fact that, even if I had funds, I’d use them for something more worthwhile. But you needn’t think you’re off the hook, sweatheart- that you will never be. Have a nice life, Joni Baby. Your FULL BLOOD SISTER KATHY.




1. Ruth - May 10, 2011

I have been authorized to post this comment by Kathy Inglis:

wasn’t going to comment, but, must say Thanks to Gert for enlightening me with regard to what Trafford consider as Libel. And all thanks to both Ruth and Gert for their tenacity in this matter.

My one and only comment to Ms Wheeler is that she had better pray I never win the Lottery, because it is only lack of sufficient funds on my part that I have not taken legal action against her, apart from the fact that, even if I had funds, I’d use them for something more worthwhile.But you needn’t think you’re off the hook, sweatheart- that you will never be. Have a nice life, Joni Baby. Your FULL BLOOD SISTER KATHY.

2. Ruth Sippel Pace’s reaction to the pulling of the book Forbidden Family by liar Joan Wheeler « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - May 11, 2011

[…] wanted to make an in-depth post going over key points from Gert’s last post of May 10, Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family has been pulled from publication part 2 – Joan thanks her bi…  – but I don’t have the time right now. I DO have a life you know, and other […]

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