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Ruth Sippel Pace’s reaction to the pulling of the book Forbidden Family by liar Joan Wheeler May 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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You are where you are today as a result of every decision you have ever made. Joan makes the decisions to do harm to people, to lie about them. The result? She is an outcast. too bad.

It is with great relief and joy that I announce that this filthy book has been pulled. However, I am not so naive that I think Joan Wheeler is going to shut up and stop spreading lies and filth about her birth sisters, her birth family and her adopted family. I have dealt with her lies for 30 years! I know this snake too well.

I wanted to make an in-depth post going over key points from Gert’s last post of May 10, Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family has been pulled from publication part 2 – Joan thanks her birth sisters for exposing her lies.  – but I don’t have the time right now. I DO have a life you know, and other committments – but I shall be getting my post up next week.

In the meantime, I want to share a few things. I work the night shift at a local hospital and was asleep much of the day Sunday, May 8 – Mother’s Day. A few days before – facebook members were posting pictures of themselves and their mothers to mark the day. I have no picture of me and my mother holding me. So I put up a picture of my mother holding Gert. Mama is looking into the camera, which gives the illusion of her looking into the eyes of the person looking at the photo.

Most of my life I hadn’t bothered with Mother’s Day – I haven’t had a mother since I was 3 years old – who was I going to buy cards and flowers for? (not that I hadn’t honored women who were mother-figures in my life). I also never gave birth to a child – my only pregnancy resulted in the miscarriage of my son. Therefore, who was there ever to hand-make Mother’s Day cards in school for me? Yes, I have been honored through the years with cards and love from Gert’s children, who I was/am very close to. I also consider myself  to be “mom” to my furbabies, for if I am not, who is? I hunt at the supermarket and bring home the prey (catfood) for my cub.

Well, Sunday night at work, I was having some tummy problems. It started aroud 1 am, and I thought if I rested on my break, I’d be okay. No, it continued. So I went home around 4 am. And went to sleep at 4:30am, waking up at 10:00 am. An hour later, the phone rang. It was from the publisher with the good news that the book was being pulled.  If my tummy hadn’t been upset, I would have worked all the way to 7 am, and be still sleeping at 11 am, and I would have missed the call.

Later that day, I was on facebook, and glanced at Mama’s picture. A feeling came over me – I felt Mama’s eyes on me – and she was saying to me “well done my daughter.” For this victory is not just to vindicate the Three Sippel Sisters – but to vindicate her as well. Because in her book, Joan drags both my mother and father throug the mud.  She has a whole disgusting paragraph describing my mother’s death – supposedly told to her by my father – and reports that my mother’s sides split open and her insides all came spilling out. – I discussed that in my post of October 14, 2010: Ruth Pace’s additional comments of Personal Psychodrama of Joan Wheeler

  So this lurid and disgusting scene was JOAN’S adoption experience? How so? And how does it promote adoption reform? If those were the reasons for Joan writing her book, well, that pararaph does not belong in the book. As a matter of fact, only a disgusting low-life would write such utter degrading disgusting things. Even the US government decided NOT to show photos of the dead body of Osama bin Laden, because it was deemed too disturbing to see – even though the American people are jubilant that he is dead. But Joan in her disgusting manner, goes beyond human decency – and writes that garbage about my mother.

Further, Joan writes that my father was so poor that he was going to bury my mother in the nude. She got this crap from her adoptive mother, who drummed into Joan’s head all her life that her birth family was poor, and that for Christmas 1956, she and her husband sent over a tree and presents for us kids. What utter garbage! My father worked at Buffalo City Hall, and made a decent living. Do you think that because his stay-at-home-and-unemployed wife died that suddenly we Sippels had no money? But my father remarried in 1956 – and she came from a large Italian family – our newly blended Sippel-Genovese family with kids all over the place, doting grandparents/stepgrandparents, aunts + uncles, step-aunts + uncle, certainly had many many fine Christmases. We didn’t need the help of Joan’s adoptive parents to provide us with Christmas. And if we did, I doubt that my stepmother would have even considered marrying him – she had two sons to provide for – and when she died 10 years later, her will specifically named MY father to continue raising her youngest because “he was always a better father to him than his real one.” I totally remember this – because one day in our teen years, my stepbrother and I read it together and hugged each other. (a rarity for him, because his nature was usually aloof).

This statement and others all over the book about my father being uneducated (he was not) and poor (he was not) and unable to afford to provide for his family is a DISHONOR to my father, my mother’s beloved and father of her children.

Also in the book, Joan attacks and lies about my cousin Gail. She harrassed Gail while she was battling cancer. And had harrassment charges placed against her for it. She puts Gail down in the book, yet she showed up at Gail’s funeral in 2003. Why was she there? She had no business being at Gail’s funeral. And Joan attacked and harrassed one of Gail’s nephews – she doesn’t write about it in the book – but yes, Joan didn’t  just cause trouble for and intefere with the lives of her birth sisters – but everyone around her! And there is no past tense either – she is still doing it!

I live only about 2 miles from the cemetaries where Mama and Gail are buried. I don’t go there often. I don’t like going to Gail’s at all. I can’t believe she is not with us. 8 years later – I can’t bear it.  Oh the times we walked home from bowling and had to cross that bridge – it swayed with the traffic and scared us – so to keep our minds off it – we sang at the tops of our lungs all the way across the bridge.

On Tuesday, May 10, I went to the cemetary. I cut some tulips and daffodils from my front garden. It was a beautiful sunny spring day. I placed 3 tulips on Mama’s headstone – one each from me, Gert and Kathy. One daffodil from our deceased brother, and the other two for love. I felt a great peace – I could feel Mama’s presence, thanking me.

I then went to Gail’s grave and placed flowers there too. I told her that I did it. I got that lying book pulled – the book that had lies in it about her. Through my tears, I sang our favorite song:

“Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutiliated monkeymeat, little birdie’s dirty feet. Eyeballs floating in a pan of bloody grease, and I forgot my spoon! Oh darn it!”

This is for you Gail – And it’s for my father – and it’s for my mother – it is not just for us Sippel Sisters, but for our whole family!

I have been authorized to post this comment for my sister Gert McQueen:

Family honor is vital to the continuation of life. Without our parents we would not have a life. Parents are not perfect, but neither are children…it isn’t about perfect…it’s about life ties and honor…honor more than love. If one does not and can not learn to honor one’s parents than they can not and will not honor themselves and if one does not honor themselves they can cause a great deal of pain to those around them.

I want to thank Ruth for making that effort, on her benefit as well as for me, Kathy and Butch on Mother’s Day…Happy Mother’s Day, MOM

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1. Ruth - May 11, 2011

I have been authorized to post this comment for my sister Gert McQueen:

Family honor is vital to the continuation of life. Without our parents we would not have a life. Parents are not perfect, but neither are children…it isn’t about perfect…it’s about life ties and honor…honor more than love. If one does not and can not learn to honor one’s parents than they can not and will not honor themselves and if one does not honor themselves they can cause a great deal of pain to those around them.

I want to thank Ruth for making that effort, on her benefit as well as for me, Kathy and Butch on Mother’s Day…Happy Mother’s Day, MOM


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