My letter (Jan 18, 2011) to Nicole S. Urdang, therapist, who thought the trash book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler was a good book, but then pulled her review of it off amazon dot com. May 15, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, cyberbullying, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Nichole S. Urdang, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker. When her lies are uncovered, she hastily removes traces of her lies. With no apologies or explanations.
June 15, 2011, 6:00 am
to the members of redandwhitekop,who found this blog: welcome. I tried to register at your forum, but can’t get my Outlook Express to work. (gulleysucker – you are too funny! love ya!)
Oh yes, I have a very low opinion of Nicole S. Urdang as this blog post will attest. She not only wrote a stupid review on amazon on my sister’s self-published book of hate and rage against me and others, she even reviewed graham crackers! – so her nickname for her looooooong poetry is chocolatepsych? – I will admit to dabbling a bit in some New Age problem solutions, but geez, ya gotta keep it in perspective! And anyone who reviews crackers and calls themselves chocolatepsych just doesn’t seem qualified to me. She says Fridays are reserved for emergencys. mmmm. by all means – have your chum ring her up about his broken toilet seat – but make sure it’s on Friday – a broken toilet seat can be serious.
My other sisters and I call her a “ditz” – check out her website and see what I mean! I just want to put her picture up on a dartboard! roflmao! I just can’t see getting therapy from a ditz like this. I don’t think I could keep a straight face!
But seriously – I don’t want to be labeled as an “enemy” of the ditz – just someone who strongly opposses her and her support of my wacko sister. – Because the ditz is as wacky as my sister. Talk about the blind leading the blind! — Ruth
This is a letter I sent to Nicole S. Urdang, a Buffalo, NY therapist, who posted a review of the trash book Forbbiden Family, on amazon dot com. In it she says this book was good. I question this woman’s ability to be a therapist, because obviously she can’t see the book is from a deranged mind. Also, I wonder just what her relationship to Joan is – if she is Joan’s therapist – then she stepped over the bounds of professionalism. If she is not, and merely a friend, she needs to be a better friend to Joan and urge her to get on some psych meds. Please DEEPLY READ this letter, examine it – see if there is any reference to Joan Wheeler being an asshole – because I NEVER wrote to any professional person or agency and called Joan an asshole. And neither have my sisters.
Ms. Urdang never had the courage to respond to this letter, which I mailed via the US Postal Service. Gert also contacted her via email. Ms. Urdang never responded to Gert either. Says a lot about her character – AND – she removed her review of the Trash Book from amazon dot com. mmmm, makes one wonder.
January 18, 2011
Nicole S. Urdang
Buffalo, New York 142
My name is Ruth Sippel Pace. I am the birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote a review of and placed on Amazon.com. I cannot believe any person of your occupation could think a book like that is anything but garbage.
I don’t know how you are acquainted with Joan Wheeler, and I really don’t care. Whether you are involved with her on a personal note or a professional note, you need to be aware of Joan’s actions towards her entire family. Her behavior is psychotic, anti-social and borders on criminal, indeed, she HAS crossed the line and HAS committed criminal acts. They are not enough for law enforcement to act on, but as we have seen time after time, these people keep on with their sick behaviors until we have an incident comparable to what happened in Tucson, Arizona on January 8, 2011. In 1998, Joan Wheeler was asking around for a “hitman” to “take her (me) out.” Because of this death threat, I took her to Family Court and was granted a one-year order of protection against her. Now Joan has hooked up with someone, and I am concerned. Joan also has posted on her website hate statements against me and my sisters. These statements are also indicative of coming from a psychotic mind and are a cause of concern.
Joan in the past has tried to ruin my life. Due to an innocent typing mistake, her hospital bill got mixed up with another patient’s bill in 1994. Joan immediately accused me of hacking into my employer’s computer to tamper with her bill. She sent a complaint to my employer. They investigated it, and told Joan that not only did they trace it to a typing mistake, but that it was impossible for me to do it, as the computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it. For the next six months, almost every day, she placed calls to the hospital telling everyone that I was a thief, a computer hacker, and should be fired. I work the 11pm – 7am shift, and was never told about this. I found out about it six months later. When I questioned a secretary in the nursing office, I was told that there had been a meeting by hospital administration that they were to hang up when Joan called and not to tell me. Yes, Buffalo General Hospital Administration protected me. Joan then tried to break my husband and me up by sending me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And they had a daughter. The only two babies born to women in that house from 1987 (when we moved there) – 2005 (when it was torn down), were boys. And Joan did much much more to me. I did try to take her to court for harassment in 1995, but the judge dismissed it, saying sisters should get along.” Would that that statement could be true. In Joan’s garbage book, she completely turns the story around, saying that it was she who took me to court and describes scenes that could only come from a sick person’s deluded fantasies.
Your review of her book Forbidden Family is in itself a work of garbage. You are a professional therapist and do not see within the pages of that book a chronicle of a person losing their mind? Did you not even catch contradictions from one page to another, indeed even in one sentence?
Even on her website she is full of contradictory statements and behaviors. For example on this page: http://forbiddenfamily.net/2009/12/10/angry-adoptee-rant1/, she gives out our full names. And later down the page, she says she doesn’t want us to view her website. Her website is supposed to be adoption reform, yet she has the hate statement against us. And does not see that if she puts our names there, we then have the right to see what is written about us.
note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker.
My sisters and I have started a blog called Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ I invite you to read it. It is not pretty. But Joan’s book is not pretty. How can someone write such garbage? And you, a professional, think this book is good? What is your professional opinion of what she says on page 163 about the condition of my mother’s body at the moment of her death? Joan claims that my father related this disgusting scene to her. This is a post I had made on my blog in October 2010:
Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here, I had copied and pasted a post from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang. To save space, I removed it, but it is the post Ruth Pace’s additional comments of Personal Psychodrama of Joan Wheeler from October 14, 2010.
Also again and again in the book Joan alleges that I, Ruth Pace have a criminal record, having been arrested and placed on probation. This is slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. Joan is alluding to the 1993 event wherein she filed a complaint against me for annoyance phone calls made in June 1993, and she received a six-month order of protection against me, the dates being from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. In the book she says she signed the complaint in February 1993, and the Order of Protection was for one year, and I was also sentenced to probation. On my blog, I have provided the scanned copies of actual court documents that have Joan signing the complaint on July 19, 1993, and that I was NOT placed on probation.
As a professional, before you put your name to recommending a product or a book, you are responsible for doing research to see if that product or book is the “genuine article.” Since you did not ask me for verification of statements that Joan put forth about me in the book, you obviously do not care about the truth. And as you are a “professional” therapist, the truth should be your primary concern.
On January 11, 2011, my father died and Joan and her new companion were involved in the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I invite you to read the following 3 blog posts that have been posted for legal and personal reasons:
Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here I had copied and pasted 3 posts from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang. To save space, I removed it, but they are the posts: THIS IS A FORMAL NOTICE FOR LEGAL PURPOSES AGAINST JOAN M. WHEELER AND RUSSELL D. THOMAS OF WILSON NY (he made himself public by signing this on a separate page in the guest book; posted January 16, 2011. Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – Part 2; posted January 17, 2011. and Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel; also posted on January 17, 2011.
Now, Ms. Urdang, I will give some background information. This story was told to us many times through the years, and was also confirmed in March 2010 by my mother’s last surviving sibling, Richard L. Herr, currently living in Florida.
When my mother was diagnosed with the cancer in January 1956, her brothers had suggested to my father that she be seen by a cancer specialist at Roswell Park. My father hesitated, saying that he wasn’t sure if he could pay for it. The brothers offered to pay. My mother herself, refused the consultation from a specialist. She then died on March 28, 1956. Her brothers, in their grief, blamed my father for her death. However they felt about my father, they never, nor did their children, disrespect me or my siblings. My cousins, descendants of these five men, through the years, have always proved themselves to always have been respectful to my father, always referring to him as Uncle Leonard, and greeting him warmly when seeing him at other funerals, and at family reunions.
The hate message that was boldly printed in my father’s guest book was this:
“May he rot in hell for all eternity. From the Herrs: Charles, Matthew, Michael, Henry, Richard.”
These men are all dead, except for Richard, who is in Florida, in fact, he was on the phone with my sister Kathy, being physically in Florida when the forgery of his name was taking place.
If you, Ms. Urdang, are Joan Wheeler’s professional therapist, first and foremost, you overstepped your professional bounds by writing a personal recommendation of a book written by one of your clients. If you are her professional therapist, you are doing a poor job in counseling her. If you are involved with Joan in a merely personal level, as a friend, then you are doing a poor job as a friend. Because a friend would not let one carry on the way Joan does. A friend, or a professional therapist would try to make Joan understand the simple rule of “cause and effect.” When Joan tells a lie about a person, there can and will be repercussions.
If there are any further criminal acts committed by Joan, I will hold you partially responsible.
Ruth B. Pace