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The Secret is Out – An examination of Joan Wheeler’s failure to protect her birth sister’s identities in her book Forbidden Family May 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler likes to point out that she changed my name in her book Forbidden Family, thereby “protecting” my identity. What nonsense. Just because she changed my name to “Brenda” doesn’t mean she protected me at all. She claims that we identified ourselves on our blog AFTER the book was published, thereby relieving her of the duty of “protecting” us.


    This is an excerpt from a recent blog post by Gert McQueen:

And here are more lies. It was Joan herself that made public our real identities, not once but several times. On Pg 634, footnote #15 of Forbidden Family she references her article The Secret is Out, written and published in 1990 where Joan published our full real names. We objected to that then and as Joan tells it, we harassed her. No! If she was not ‘outing’ the identities of us in the book Forbidden Family then WHY did she put in the reference to an article that identifies us and where anyone could find that information?

So what is this article “The Secret is Out?” It is a short article that Joan wrote in the late 1980’s. It was published in October 1990 in the UK in the “Quarterly Journal of British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering,” pages 22-27. It was also published in 1991 in The Netherlands in the book “Kind van Andere Ouders (Child of Other Parents),” edited by Professor Rene Hoksbergen (yes, Joan’s good palsie-walsie) and Has Walenkamp, Chapter 10, pages 155-163.

In its original publicized version, Joan identifies herself as Joan Wheeler, being born as Doris Michol SIPPEL (my maiden name). She also mentions the HERR family (my mother’s maiden name). She changed Gert’s name to Gillian, but left my name, my sister Kathy’s name, and our brother’s family nickname of Butch, INTACT. These are all on page 23 of the British publication, and page 155 of the Dutch publication. In addition, she identifies Kathy again on page 26 of the British publication and page 161 of the Dutch publication AND identifies the city of Kathy’s residence of Liverpool England.

She changed Gert’s name because Gert had already threatened her with a lawyer, and although in 1989 – 1990, Kathy and I were becoming embroiled in our own conflicts with Joan, we hadn’t yet reached the point of bringing in solicitors and attorneys. HOWEVER, Joan did not ask Kathy or me if she could publish our names, or our cities of residence. We did not even know that this article was being written until it came out and Joan sent us each photocopies of it. I was too busy to do any kind of complaint about it, but Kathy sent a letter to Barbara Fletcher, editor of the British publication.

On Joan’s website, she posts scans of both the British and the Dutch versions of her article. With the British article, our names are blacked out, and in the Dutch version, our names are whited out. In both versions, the cities of residence of both Kathy and me are still intact, as well as our maiden name of Sippel and our mother’s maiden name of Herr.

So what does this mean? This means that 21 years ago, Joan invaded our privacy by PUBLISHING OUR TRUE NAMES WITHOUT OUR CONSENT OR KNOWLEDGE! By blacking/whiting out our names on her website, shows she is covering her ass! And does she think people are stupid? You can clearly see that SOMEBODY’S name was PRINTED AND PUBLICIZED and she merely blacked out and whited out their names. The damage had been done when the article was first printed! Covering her tracks 20 years later just shows everyone that she is backtracking and scrambling to save her lying face. And as Gert pointed out, she refers readers of her book to this article – where our names are published! Changing a person’s name in the body of the book, then referring the readers of the book to an article that has the person’s true name in it, IS NOT PROTECTING THE IDENTITY OF THE PERSON.

Below are several graphics. Secret numbers 1 to 6 are the original published British article with our names and cities of residence intact. Secret number 7 is an establishing shot of Joan Wheeler’s Forbidden Family website. Secret number 8 is the British page with our names blacked out. Secret 10 is the British page with Kathy’s name blacked out, but with her city of residence still visible. Secret 13 is the portion of the page of the Dutch version, with our names whited out. Secret 14 is the Dutch version with Kathy’s name whited out, but the city of her residence is still visible. graphics Secrets 9, 11, and 12 were not needed for this post.

Now, members of the jury – examine the evidence. Can you convict Joan Wheeler, beyond a REASONABLE DOUBT that she invaded our privacy in 1990 and 1991, by publicizing our names without our knowledge or consent? Can you convict Joan Wheeler beyond a REASONABLE DOUBT that she failed to protect our identities by referring to this article in her book Forbidden Family?

Yes, the secret is indeed out – that Joan Wheeler is a liar, and she did NOT protect our identities in her book, and she was the one who identified her birth sisters first – way back in 1990! The glove fits. And if the glove fits, you can NOT acquit.

And by the way, my posting of these documents in no way violates any copyright that Joan Wheeler has for her article “The Secret is Out.” The article contains MY name, and the only person who owns the right to that name is ME. I do not claim any ownsership to this article, only my name. Indeed, the person responsible for writing such nonsense AND violating other people’s privacy is of course none other than Joan M. Wheeler. Who in the world would want to try to claim ownership of material that disrespects other human beings. It sure ain’t my work – I’m only reclaiming MY good name and reputation that Joan Wheeler has been trying to sully by dragging it through the mud. Those days are over!

Joan Wheeler has slapped MY name on her website and on her cyberbulling page. I claim the right to discuss MY name in any manner I see fit. I also claim the right to discuss MY life in any manner I see fit. Joan does not have any right to MY name or MY life. Least of all to try to make money about MY life. Need money Joan? Then get off your butt and get a job. You don’t use MY back to support you. Get yourself your own life and write about it – but keep MY life and MY family’s lives OUT of it – You ceased to be a Sippel in 1956. We tried to reunite with you, but by the 1980’s you got yourself THROWN out. That’s the real secret – Joan lost her birth family twice – once through adoption, through no fault of hers. The second time through banishment – through EVERY fault of her own actions and words.

The Secret is Out original page 1

The Secret is Out original page 2

The Secret is Out original page 3

The Secret is Out original page 4

The Secret is Out original page 5

The Secret is Out original page 6

Secret 7 – establishing shot of Joan Wheeler’s Forbidden Family website.

Secret 8 – British page with our names blacked out.

Secret 10 – British page with Kathy’s name blacked out, but with her city of residence still visible.

Secret 13 – portion of the page of the Dutch version, with our names whited out.

Secret 14 – the Dutch version with Kathy’s name whited out, but the city of her residence is still visible

UPDATE, Sept 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



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