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Bellowing the Truth – We Sippel Sisters are damn good at it! June 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lessons in Life, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

Bellowing the Truth

“He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.” — Charles Peguy

On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change discussion forum is a member who calls herself Daizy. The above quotation by Charles Pequy is Daizy’s “signature,” which gets added to the bottom of every one of her posts.

Now I can’t be 100% sure that this Daizy is the Daisy who left that recent stupid comment here on this blog, daring to lecture me and my sisters about this blog. Daisy says that we should just chalk Joan’s LIES up to being Joan’s “opinion,” and ignore her.

No Way! We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING the truth!

Now if Daizy on the forum and Daisy who left the comment here are the same, she’s got a lot of dam nerve to come here and condemn us for bellowing the truth of OUR LIVES after Joan has LIED about them. Even if Daisy is not Daizy – she still has a lot of nerve telling me that I can’t tell the truth about MY life. Why can’t I Daisy? If Joan can tell a lie about me, I don’t have the right to tell the truth about me? It don’t work that way – and neither Joan nor Daisy is the boss of me.

But I’ve noticed something about Joan and the other adoptees, they want the TRUTH exposed about their birth certificates, their birth families, the circumstances of their conception, their relinquishment to adoption, they DEMAND the truth! However, I see that they only want TRUTH exposed when it suits them. They don’t want anyone else to tell the truth. Sorry guys, just because you got shafted, doesn’t give you the right to turn around and shaft somebody else. Because when you do that – you’re just as bad as the ones who shafted you. You don’t have the right to run roughshod over anybody else in this world – and if you do – be prepared for the consequences of your actions. This blog is the consequence of an adoptee’s action –  because   Joan Wheeler, decided that  SHE got shafted when she was adopted, she would now shove the shaft through her birth sisters. No way baby!

This whole blog has been condemned by the adoptees! Why? Because we dare to tell the truth about something we know very well about – our own dam lives! But it’s okay for Joan to tell LIES about our lives? Hey – adoptees – I’m talking to YOU guys – why is it okay in your (ahem) book for Joan Wheeler to tell lies, but it’s NOT okay for US to tell the truth?? Not that I give a dam about you guys – I don’t NEED your permission to write about MY own life!

This blog is about us sisters standing up to a lying bully – and shedding light on her lies and misdeeds. And if Joan or anyone else don’t like that – well that’s just too dam bad.

We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING OUR TRUTH.

1. Gert McQueen – June 30, 2011
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie “A Few Good Men”…
‘you want the truth?…you CAN’T handle the truth! because it scares you to KNOW the truth…

Mahatma Gandhi said:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

A ancient Anglo-Teutonic wisdom says:

You are your Deeds, the only thing that will remain,
when you die, is your reputation.

think about it!

That is why we sisters tell the truth!


Daisy has Commented – and Ruth answers! June 28, 2011

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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On June 22, Daisy says this:

I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.

And on June 28, I say this in reply:

Daisy – you need to READ the blog AND Joan’s book before you comment – it is JOAN who needs psychiatric help. She says in her book that I, Ruth have an arrest record and a criminal record, when I do not. THAT is NOT her opinion, that is slander and libel. And I have every right to answer her lies.
As to scary – scary is when someone (Joan) gets on discussion forums (The Huffington Post) and says that I was sexually molested by my grandfather when I was child. When I was not. (amendment – explanation, June 29, 2011, 3:30 pm). This was in March 2011. and NO, I was not sexually abused as a child. And if I were – how does Joan DARE to put that on the internet? Within a half an hour of Joan posting it – a complaint was sent to Huffington Post, Joan’s comment was removed, her account canceled. Now talk to me of scary Daisy – Joan needs to apologize to every victim of child sexual abuse, because instead of taking that horrendous crime seriously, she USED it as a weapon against me and my sisters.  And on top of that – someone of her own family suffered through that crime – and Joan knows it – she was there – caring for the victim. To turn that pain around and USE it to try to hurt her sisters –  Now tell me who needs psych help Daisy. We blogged about that incident on March 7 and in these posts: What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? and Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers. This last post was because Joan, who loves to boast that she is a social worker (even though she never had a job as such) violated the code of of ethics of social workers when she blabbed on the internet about a (supposed) child sexual abuse victim.


Scary is when someone (Joan) gets on the internet, names MY employer, and accuses me of computer hacking, when I have not done this. THIS is scary – that I could possibly lose my job because of JOAN’S lies! –
Fear not – Joan tried that in 1994 – six months of continued calls to my employer trying to get me fired – administration had a meeting and told all persons throughout the hospital to hang up when Joan Wheeler called! –
For you, Daisy, to not read what I’ve been saying is the truly scary part – because you seem as though you need some therapy yourself.

Now, I further say this to Daisy and everyone else: If Joan has the Freedom of Speech to self-publish a book that contains slander and libel about me, I have the Freedom of Speech to answer her on this blog.

Further, since I have in my possession actual BUFFALO CITY COURT RECORDS that attest to the fact that I, Ruth Sippel Pace was NOT placed under arrest, and was NOT sentenced to probation, and submitted copies of these documents to Trafford Publications, the publisher of Joan’s book, and cited the pages that Joan said that I was arrested and placed on probation, it was PROVEN that Joan LIED in her book about me. Therefore, her book was pulled from publication.




Daisy, you say that I have a problem – yes I do – this sort of thing IS POTENTIALLY DAMAGING TO MY CAREER! Daisy, how would YOU like it if I got on the internet and named YOUR employer and accused YOU of computer hacking? Answer truthfully – YOU WOULD NOT LIKE IT. That is not Joan’s “opinion” that I am a computer hacker – that is a LIE!

Amendment, June 28, 6:30pm:

 In driving in to work just now, (and before Joan gets a conniption fit and starts talking shit again – I am NOT clocked in – I still have a half hour before I start work – and I am on my personal laptop, NOT hospital property) –  anyway, in my van, I was listening to a motivational tape that featured entrepreneur and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. Mr. Ziglar was giving the narrative of a situation of where a person could tie a kerchief over their face, enter a bank, stick their hand in their pocket and point their finger as to suggest they had a gun. He would be able to successfully rob the bank, even though he did not in actuality have a gun.  Mr. Ziglar then said: “The evidence may be false, but it will appear real.”

 And so does Joan’s statements about me and my family. Daisy would do well to THOROUGHLY get to the bottom of what she reads on the internet. But I guess she is one of those blind people who blithely believe what she reads. Daisy needs to read my next post, Of Lies and Deceipt, Honor and Integrity – A Comparison Study of Joan Wheeler and The Three Sippel Sisters and read it thoroughly and do some research before she opens her mouth and makes silly comments.

(back to my original post) – Now read this Missy Daisy and if you are intelligent, you will READ it and not comment stupidly next time. Because you obviously don’t understand TRUTH and HONOR and INTEGRITY!

From my post of November 2, 2010, What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler:

The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.

The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.

The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:

1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:

1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.

2. Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.

3. Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?

4. Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.

5. Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.

6. For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.

7. Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.

8. Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.

9. Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.

10. For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.

11. For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.

12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.

13. For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.

14. An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.

15. For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.

2. Joan WILL comply with the following:

1. The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.

2.  Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.

3. Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990

4. The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.

3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:

1. Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.

2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.

4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.

Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented.  Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.

ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.

Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his  habit of frequenting strip joints.

Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology  from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.

Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.

1. Gert McQueen – June 28, 2011
On June 22, Daisy says this:
I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.

Gert here:
yep we have a problem and it’s called personal and family honor that has been taken away from us by Joan Wheeler and her lies!!!

I assure you that we are very secure with ourselves, it is only Joan who is not! That is why she has hidden behind a book of lies and gets others to do her talking for her when she is brought to task.

Personal opinions are like aholes, everyone has one, but when they are slanderous and libelous they are very DANGEROUS things and MUST be exposed!

Scary?! You obviously have never been on the receiving end of what Joan Wheeler can dish out.

I would welcome some lawyer, court, to come and tell me that I ought to cease and desist with regaining MY personal honor and MY families honor from Joan Wheeler…I welcome it, bring it on!!

Joan has a entire blog where she ORDERS us to cease and desist I answered every line of that stupid nonsense, right here on this blog.

And Daisy…what are your creditials to recommend that we need psychiatric help? No, my dear, it is not us that need that kind of help…Joan has done quite well in documenting her mental status in that book.

you really ought to read that if you want to know SCARY!

2. Gert McQueen – June 29, 2011
On Nov 24 and 30, 2010, here on this blog, I answered Joan Wheeler’s cease and desist order that she placed on a blog. Please go and read it to inform yourself about how Joan Wheeler operates and my views and opinions of her ‘order’!

According to Joan she created that blog on advise of police. If that is so why has she not offered proof of such…no police department would tell her to do so…she is a bullshitter. She further states that NY has no laws against cyberbullying (as she calls our freedom of expression) and that no court will help her. Again those are empty threats with the thin veil that she ‘spoke’ with authorities…she never has because she doesn’t have any case against us. What Joan has done by that blog is a continued form of HARASSMENT and SLANDER against us!

According to Joan, only she is entitled to her views and opinions…we sisters are not so entitled. She can not accept that we are speaking our truth, our opinions and our views. She offers only empty threats…if she could stop us she would have done so already and be done with us.

So…we shall continue on…with refuting the book of lies that Joan Wheeler wrote and which got pulled by the publisher because they want nothing to do with libelous material…wise decision on their part.

Reply –  Ruth – June 29, 2011

What Daisy and others who don’t take the time to READ this blog and do their research is that it is JOAN who keeps the escalation going. Even when there have been times that we have not posted on our blog, we come on the internet and find yet ANOTHER slam against us from Joan. She keeps repeating “My sisters are bothering me.” But does she say HOW? “My sisters are interfering in my life.” But does she say HOW? Absolutely NOT! And little baa-baa sheep like Daisy, Mara, MYst, Heather, read Joan’s whines, BELIEVE her crap, then come running over here to leave unintelligent hate messages.

On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to inform her that an aunt died. I had first called my father. Knowing that he had recently thrown her out of his house (again – what does that tell you?) I asked if he still had her number. He sounded tired (he was 86 years old) so I made the call for him. Joan asked where I got her number – as I am a truthful person, I told her. She was not happy. I told her Aunt Doris died. She said to me very surly, “THANK you for telling me that, but…” then she proceeded to blast my eardrums with obscenities and verbal abuse. She was screaming so hard I couldn’t understand half she said. I slammed the phone down and broke into tears. What did I do wrong? I jumped in my car and went first to my cousin’s house, then my dad’s. In the meantime, Joan had called my father and screamed at him to the point that he also slammed the phone down. (Elder abuse). When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis and Gert McQueen are not to contact Joan.um, it was RUTH who called, NOT Kathy, not Ger. And it was NOT a harassing call – it was to inform Joan of a family member’s death.

A few days later, Gert called the police herself to tell them OUR side of the story – and the police told her “don’t worry, we know all about Joan.” – what does THAT tell you? It tells you that Joan is the escalator of things. She exaggerates everything. She accuses people of doing things when they are not doing things. 


I had closed this blog to comments before because Joan had gotten her buddies and her boyfriend to come here and leave hate messages. Obscenities, and stupid remarks like Daisy’s. I would welcome INTELLIGENT comments. And I have gotten a couple. Myst for one, came over here and left a very nice comment, which I answered. I will close the comments again – because in the long run – the purpose of this blog is NOT for us really hear any of Joan’s buddies trying to justify Joan’s actions – because there is NEVER any justification in the crap that Joan has done to us. And is still doing.

As to my time and energy – don’t worry about it Daisy – why don’t you ask yourself why are YOU wasting so much time on us? You should be spending your time and energy in getting some psychiatric help for the person who needs it – Joan. Because even the police think she’s a lunatic.

And yes, Gert and I, (and in the past, our father) ARE qualified to make that kind of evaluation on Joan, because we have known her personally for 37 years. We have suffered through her harrassments. If Joan is suffering now, it’s because 37 years of mistreating the very people she dreamed about, fantasized about, WANTED in her life – her birth family. She hated the fact she was adopted. Was pissed off when she found about her adoption when she was a kid. Grew up resenting her aparents. Made the desicion at 16 to find her birth family – FANTASIZED that her birth family would be this wonderful fairy tale family that would make all her problems disappear! When that didn’t happen, she set out to punish us. When she found out that we were only human, and made mistakes in life AS EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET – Joan set out to punish us.

These are the things Daisy, that you should be questioning. And when you find the answers, THEN come and talk to me. 

Of Lies and Deceipt, Honor and Integrity – A Comparison Study of Joan Wheeler and The Three Sippel Sisters June 28, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Due to my extremely busy life lately, and the threat of a labor strike looming over my head, (which fortunately was averted this morning) I have not had the time to post this week. But I wanted to share an observation I had made during an email conversation I just had.


Readers of our blog and readers of Joan’s statements are comparing notes. As well they should. Back in early to mid 2010, I left a couple of messages on the adoptee discussion forum that Joan belongs to. I told them to copy, paste, date and save what Joan writes about The Three Sippel Sisters and the rest of her birth family. Because Joan contradicts herself left and right. And while she says she doens’t “cyber-bully” us, she has a whole hate-filled blog via blogspot that not only is full of hate and lies about us, but gives out our names and in my case, my employer. And she has the nerve to title this crap page “cyber bullying!” That is a contradiction in itself!  On the page, she is ranting about THIS blog –  “Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family” and saying that she is a victim because of what we write here. What nonsense. The purpose of this blog is regain OUR sullied reputations because of what Joan wrote in her book. The lies that were so blatant and so against the facts that they fell under the legal terms of slander and libel, and because they were so defined, her book got pulled from publication.

So who is the victim? The person who found out a lie was told about them, exposed both the lie and the liar, or the person who told the lie in the first place and had that lie publicized via this blog? In a previous post of mine, Who Harasses Whom? I address this question. And when Joan made up that hate-filled “cyber-bullying” blog, she made it clear to the whole world what a hateful, lying harassing bully she is.

We Three Sippel Sisters (a term coined by Joan herself as if we were all one entity) have never bothered her when she persues her sole purpose in life – adoption reform. We may have noted that she has a very shallow life if she has only ONE thing in her life, because we have questions about her mental health – our father even said she was mentally ill. – And she herself chronicles her “hypersensitivity”, her “sensing” people talking about herself in a large wedding reception, her rants and rages, her burning of journals, diaries, other papers in the middle of her living room, her alcholism, her being in a state of depression (not washing her hair, not fixing dinner for her children, just sitting around all day), her YEARS of therapy (and not getting anywhere), her going from one abusive relationship to another. YES, this is all in her book.  I don’t know if her state of mind was caused by her adoption or not – I don’t care. All I know is that I have suffered at the hands of Joan – harassments over a 30 year time frame. Money stolen from me, lies told about me, stalking, having my personal life details being sent in letters to elected officials, lies told to my employer about me, phone calls made to my employer by Joan telling them to terminate my employment. This is anti-social behavior and I have said it before on this blog and I’ll say it again – I don’t give a DAMN about Joan having been adopted and she has problems – why should I have to suffer through HER anti-social behaviors?

And my other sisters have suffered as well as other people, family members, and non-family members. The final straw was that book, which attacked everyone in one fell swoop. And Joan discovered the internet and beginning in September of 2008, began using it as a new tool to continue her harassments of The Three Sippel Sisters. Both Gert and I had been on the internet for quite some time prior to September 2008. The third sister, Kathy, only began to be on the internet in late 2009. Gert had absolutely NO involvement via the internet with Joan. I had a brief involvement from September 2003 to March 2004 with Joan when I had begun building a website designed to post and share family photographs. Everything was going fairly smooth, until January 2004, when I, as the site’s owner, moved one of the photos that Joan had posted from one file to another. Joan got all upset and fired off a ridiculous ranting email to me. One that I didn’t see until April – because I was sick in January, and her email got buried. We had a brief email exchange, then I booted her off the website and that was the end of any internet connection I had with her (and in real life). See the post an email exchange of March 31, 2004.

All of a sudden, in September 2008, out of the clear blue sky, Joan gets on the blog that she had at the time, and ATTACKED us! This was one  she first coined the term The Three Sippel Sisters and she attacked our religion, and “warned” us to stay away from her. WHERE were we by her? In real life or cyber-life? NOWHERE! I am not sure if Gert saw this crap at the time, but I did – and yeah, I googled MY name, and JOAN’S name. Because I know from experience that Joan cannot be trusted. And I was right – there it was – six months after she put crap about me on the internet – I found it! Talk about cyber bullying! But as I said above – Joan contradicts herself left and right.

When I saw this ridiculous post, I made a note of it, but DID NOT ANSWER IT NOR DID I ADDRESS IT ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET – until I constructed this blog in November 2009. Also, Joan likes to say that we sisters post on various internet forums and call her an asshole and urge her to commit suicide. I hereby challenge Joan: please copy and paste the url address of  post on the internet where I, or my sisters have done this. I guarantee Joan will not be able to come up with ONE url address where we said this, for we have not. And if there is a post out there – I want to know about it, so that I can contact the webhost that I was impersonated. And if there are any impersonations of me on the internet – I know who did it – Joan herself – because she did it in the past! Not on the internet – but in real life. She called in a false child abuse report on herself, posing as me. That’s right – the caller identified themself as me. Then went on to say that it was MY fiance who was abusing Joan’s children! First, if I’m going to make a prank child abuse call, I’m not going to tell them my real name. Second, why would I name the man I’m engaged to and risk him going to jail? DUH! Joan did this to break me and John up. In fact, one week after the call was made, she wrote him a letter and sent it to his mother’s house – and in it she’s telling him to leave me! This was December 1993. Then in February 1999,  she was trying to break us up again – she sends me a letter saying that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And the house was vacant. DUH!

So … who can be trusted? Certainly not Joan, because she has consistently shown how she is a bold-faced liar, a bully both in real life and cyber-life. We Three Sippel Sisters are not really interested in the issue of adoption reform and we don’t care what Joan says or does regarding that issue. With The Three Sippel Sisters consistently NOT commenting on the generalities of adoption, NOT commenting when Joan makes a statement purely about adoption and commenting ONLY when she brings up the birth family and says a lie or misrepresentation, we have shown that WE can be trusted. The only time we comment is to give out the NEEDED information that the book has been pulled, or when someone praises Joan (as in the case of the woman who thinks Joan should have political clout), we comment on Joan’s character.

We also never really attacked the adult adoptees that Joan has befriended, except to comment on their anger and hatred – and their blind willingness to be led around by their noses by Joan. And ususally it was because they had come on over to our blog and left hate messages.

I think in the year and a half that we’ve been working on this project we have shown that The Three Sippel Sisters have honor and integrity. Can Joan say the same? She has been caught not only in the Big Lie — The Book – but consistently lies on the adoptee forum and various places on the internet.

Lies – they’ll get you everytime.

Gert adds this:  

and…(in regards to us sisters posting on the internet regarding this situation) where I have been placing notices that the book has been pulled or my statement about what Joan did to me, as an adoptive mother, etc…on book sites, discussion threads and adoption sites where Joan FIRST spoke untruths…are the RIGHT action to bring back our personal and family honor… 
We are our deeds and Joan is now reaping the fruits of her actions!

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…




Evidence sent to Trafford Publications which resulted in the pulling of the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler – Part 1 June 22, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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In our last post I stated “… Gert and I will be putting out on this blog those several pages of proof – because we are honest. We give our blog readers full disclosure of what we write and to whom. We deal in truth. – Not only do we deal in the truth – we deal in the truth to EVERYBODY! “  This is Gert’s narrative on how we decided to contact Trafford to make a formal complaint about this hideous book. Gert’s complaint to Trafford follows. My own complaint, because it covers so much material, is split into two parts, and will be posted either tomorrow or Friday, June 24, 2011, depending on time allowances.  – Ruth Pace

Gert McQueen:

We blood sisters had found out about the publication of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family around the end of 2009. I myself did not get a physical copy of the book until late January 2010. As I started to go over it I became quite upset, as were my other two sisters. Initially we three were just picking out certain things in the book and then it dawned on me to attack the book from the beginning. So I started to read it from the outside covers and from page one. It is not an easy book to read and that doesn’t mean just because we sisters are subjects in the book. It is a difficult read because of all the hate, mental disruptions and disturbances and outright lies that the author put out.

At some point in December 2010 as I was reading chapter 38 I said out loud to myself…how did this f…ing book GET published? What kind of an publishing house produced this piece of garbage? It was at that time that I made my first phone call to Trafford, on December 14, 2010. As I spoke with a customer service rep and asked some questions, it became obvious, to both of us, that there were some serious problems with the content of the book. I was told that the author did NOT pay for editing services but had a ‘print ready’ manuscript and UNLESS there is a complaint the editing department DOES NOT look at the manuscript. I was told to send a email with some particulars of my objections to the customer service department. I did that and waited.

During the first week of January 2011, speaking with a customer service manager, I was told to send him a list of the most credible examples of libel and other evidences that we say the author had put in the book. Ruth and I did that. Then our father died and it was not until January 21 when I was able to speak with someone at Trafford, a top level manager, who took charge of our complaint. I spoke with Mr Hopkins many times between Jan 21 and May 6 when he finally told me that the book WAS pulled.

Ruth and I now submit, on this blog, the narratives and credible evidence we gave to Trafford. 

Here is Gert’s complaint:

Evidence related to slanderous lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, provided by Gert McQueen.

It is the opinions of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, and Ruth Pace that our personal and family honor has been sullied and damaged by the publication of this book by Joan Wheeler.

Lies pg xv and xvi ‘why I wrote this book’

Fact: author did not do research to verify information nor speak directly to all individuals (speaking here for blood sisters) to provide the facts and their ‘versions of the truth’. At no time did the author discuss anything related to us sisters, with us, before publication of this book. We had no knowledge that this book was being written or that it was published until after the fact.

Fact: this section (why I wrote the book) written in 2006, was indeed written for vengeance, contrary to the author’s statement, ‘I didn’t write this book for vengeance…my intent is not vindictive or malicious’.

Lie: author states, pg 531, ‘each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about.’

Fact: This is a warning statement, of the threat of blackmail, from the author to us sisters.

Examples of how and why the author tells the family tales for vengeance and with malice…pg 543, 545, 546, 547

Fact: Chapter 35 pg 429 – 459 were written about events of 2006/07 with malice and for vindictive purposes. Pg 434 author states that her friend said ‘I don’t want people to know my private life’. But author disregards that request and tells all. On pg 452 the author states… ‘Yes, Jimmy earned a place in this book right along with the other examples of prejudice against adoptees – against me- to be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Of all the people who hurt me because they didn’t understand or approve of what I’m doing…I expose in my writings.’

Fact: Chapter 38 pg 482 – 566 were written April-July 2009, again with malice and for vindictive purposes to show, pg 484, how the author ‘was the only half-orphan treated differently’. This chapter’s sole purpose is for malice and vindictiveness.

Fact: on two separate occasions, 1992 and 2006, before publication of this book, the author had lied directly to me (Gert) about our relationship, leaving me to believe that she loved me, but then used those 2 occasions to further lie about me in the book.

Lie: the author’s position that this book is about adoption reform when in fact it is violently against adoption.

Fact: chapter 23 pg 238- 242 author’s views about the Catholic church.

Fact: pg 485 author’s statement against the institution of adoption. ‘my conclusion that the concept of adoption is corrupt…pathology lies in adoption itself.’

Fact: pg 566 author’s statements ‘adoption must end in America , I demand restitution for my life as a person duped by adoption.’ 

Fact: pg 473- 476 author’s claims of fraud against Surrogate Courts, Registrar of vital statistics and Catholic Church

Fact: Pages 348 – 356 shows some of the outrage and hate that the author has towards adoption.

Pages 357 –358, 367-368 shows the author’s rage and hate, in front of her children

Fact: Author published, whole or in part, the real names of her birth parents, which are my and my sisters’ and brother’s parents and institutions/city/state locations. The author provides sufficient information, date and place of mother’s death, full names of relations, living and dead, where in a quick search could reveal our names, pg 489 – 492. There are many pages, through out that contain real names of family members.

Pages that show documents of my father and mother’s names, 460, 462, 464, 466,

On page 302 and footnoted as #15 page 634, the author sites her article ‘the Secret is Out’, which contained the real names of birth family, and which was the reason that birth sister Kathy wrote a letter to adoption agencies, around 1992/93, to protest the publication of our real names, which the author then relates falsely as harassments pg 310.

Pages containing a living family member’s name, where is the permission? 466

Back cover of the book contains a family photo of my parents, my brother, my sisters and myself. Living persons in that photo did not give permission for that photo to be used on a book of lies about our family.

Lie, slanderous: pg 95 author states that I, Gert, ‘took a few puffs on a joint to get stoned’. I, Gert, never did that!

Fact, pg 93 author states that she, the author, ‘started smoking pot’

Lie, slanderous: pg 128 author states that I, Gert, got the author drunk, stoned and then made sexual advances to her.

Fact: I, Gert, never did that!

Lies, slanderous: pg 214 and pg 220, author states again that I, Gert, sexually abused the author.

Fact: I, Gert, did not!

Fact: Additional pages containing foul obscene language…pg 214, 360. The other pages as indicated in my original email complaint are, 160, 219, 220, 312, 313, 370.

Lie, slanderous: author states, pg 214, that I, Gert, used those obscene words, plus threaten to kill her, in letters and over a telephone,

Fact: I, Gert, did not! I wrote one letter, as referenced on pg 214, to author’s adoptive mother informing her of the author’s actions of interference to and against my minor children and myself.

Fact: pg 157, the author had a previous history, 1977, of interfering with and causing trouble because over my father’s adoption of his step-daughter

Lies, slanderous: Pg 213- 214 contains much that is an untrue account of the events that the author herself did to my (Gert) immediate family.

Fact: in 1981 my husband and I were in the process of adopting my own birth son, the author recklessly interfered in our parental authority, called me an unfit mother, told me I was doing great harm to my son, told my children they did not have to obey me. I was forced to remove the author from my home and forbid any contact with my children. As part of the adoption process my husband and I were investigated by the courts and were found fit, for adoption. But in retaliation for being forbidden to see my children, the author called in a child abuse report, which was quickly dismissed because we had just completed a adoption investigation. Fact: On pg 301, the author states that she had called in the abuse in 1981.

Fact: In 1982 my husband and I moved our family to another city in part to remove my children from the negative influence of the author. My daughter had behavior problems and after our physical relocation she ran-away, Sept 1982, back to the city we moved from. Again, in retaliation to me, the author used that occasion to call a second child abuse against my husband and me this time claiming sexual abuse.

Fact: In a Family Court hearing I requested, and was granted, that my minor daughter be placed in protective custody of the county and she was placed in a foster home. I then had a hearing about the child abuse against husband and myself. In March 1984 the charges of child abuse and maltreatment was found to be untrue and all records were to be ‘expunged’ from the record. It was as if it never happened, until the author lyingly wrote about it in the book.

Fact: I have scanned the first and last pages of that document to show that the charges against me were false to begin with, were expunged and that this episode should not have been repeated, particularly in print, it is a slanderous lie and misrepresentation purely for malice and vindictiveness. See additional documents

Fact: I, Gert, moved from the same city where the author lived in Sept 1982 and did not speak nor see her again until 1992. I had no knowledge of anything she did, or said, I had no contact with any person with whom I spoke about the author…I divorced myself from the author…for her interference, her alienating my children from me and contributing to the destruction of my marriage and family unit.

Fact: In 1992, at a family gathering the author and I spoke, I attempted a reconciliation, thought that the author was doing the same, until, she used my religion as a means to continue spreading lies that my mental health was in danger because of my religion and other hateful things against me to other family members. I then continued on with my ‘divorce’ and have not seen the author since 1992. Sometime in 2006, when my father was ill, I had a short phone conversation with author to which, she said she loved me and wished me well, knowing full well she was lying and was publishing a book of lies.

Lie, slanderous: author states, pg 243, referring to child abuse calls the author was receiving that I, (Gert) ‘obviously retaliated against me since I was responsible for having her investigated through the same child abuse hotline. The only difference was that (Gert)’s phone calls were based on revenge, not concern. My intervention with my niece came after I pieced together evidence of sexual behavior that threatened her well-being.’

Fact: as I had just stated, I had no contact with the author during this time-period (1984), I didn’t even know that the author had a child! I did not call any abuse on to the author. This lie is a continued accusation against me for alleged sexual abuse, in this case against my own child that was found to be untrue and was expunged from the record!  It does show the fact that the author did indeed call in a false child abuse report upon me, Gert, in 1982, but here she lies about the actual truth of the circumstances.

Fact: pg 301, author states that she ‘reported fears to child protection authorities in 1981’. By the author’s own admission she called two false child abuse reports against me.

Lies, slanderous: chapter 27, pg 295-313, is a complete fabrication of the event.

Fact: it was a very brief family gathering, at a local park, with pleasant conversations, hugs, and a separate visit with author, myself and Ruth, at which time I shared with them my religious affiliations and activities. At no time did the author say anything negative to me about my religion, only to say that her husband had been part of SCA and she thought that was ‘my religion’; it is not. I thought and was lead to believe by the author, that perhaps a reconciliation could occur between us, as had occurred between myself and Ruth which ended the then 10 year silence and mistrust.

Fact: the next day, the author went to my father’s home, saying ‘Gert’s mental health must be in danger because there is something wrong with Gert’s religion’. (religious intolerance).  My father told her that he knew of my religion and my mental health, that the author was not welcome in his home if she continued to spread lies and cause trouble. The author continued to argue, my father threw her out of his home.

Fact: It was my father who told me about the confrontation that he had with the author, at his home and what the author said about me, (Gert). I have not seen the author since that event of July 1992 and I have had one short phone conversation, again pleasant, in 2006!

Lies, slanderous: pg 301, author states that I, Gert, ‘got pregnant at age 17, married the 16 year old father to get out of living in a foster home and dealing with our father and stepmother.’

Fact: I was out of the foster home, my step-mother had died and both myself and my husband were of legal age and married because we wanted to.

Lies, slanderous: pg 308 –313, author states that we sisters did harassing letters and phone calls.

Fact: I, Gert, did not write letters or make phone calls.

Lies: pg 316 – 318 pertain to events about getting personal properties of Kathy’s back from the author that the author did not do in a timely matter.

Fact: Under pressures, from family members, the author enlisted the help of Doctor Hoksbergen. My sister Kathy wrote a letter to Doctor Hoksbergen after she received a very intrusive and intimidating letter from him.

See my email that contains my assessment of Hoksbergen’s letter as well as letter the author wrote to my aged foster mother attempting to gain information from her.

Lies, slanderous: pg 310 author states that she had spoken with a Joe Soll, adoption specialist, who had received letters from the author’s sisters.

Fact: see my email with copy of an email exchange that I, Gert, had with Mr. Soll, who denies everything the author had stated on pg 310/311.

Lies, slanderous: pg309, the author states ‘my sisters would do anything to prevent me from publishing my life story, they ganged together to destroy my soul so I wouldn’t be a threat to them, this surely was sibling rivalry and jealousy at its best.’

Lies, slanderous: pg 314-318, the author states that we sisters made many harassing phones and she enlisted the help from the police and they had some sort of recordings of what was said and can make identifications. She has a police officer saying this about me, (Gert)… ‘this one in ‘P’…what’s her name, oh here it is I’ve got her right here, ‘I’ she says she’s gonna bring the entire House of Thor to bring evil upon you, honestly, I wish these two were in Buffalo, I’d fry them like hotcakes.’

Fact: I, Gert, never made phone calls, there is no proof from any police dept. or phone company.

Fact: The statement about me bringing a god (Thor) is an insult to one of my Gods! To state that I would ‘bring evil’ is beyond slander it is hate speech towards my religion and my religious practices. The author only knows SCA activities from her husband’s association with reenactments.

Fact: I, Gert, am a well-respected innovator of the reawakening of certain ancient folk religions. I am a lore-teacher and writer in my religion of Anglo-Saxon Theodish Belief. Some of my writings and activities can be seen on the web just by googling my name. I take great offense having my religion and my religious practices misjudged and discussed so disrespectfully.

Fact: The author has also been very vocal and disrespectful about my sister Ruth’s pagan religion and my sister Kathy’s Jewish religion. These things are reported on our refuting blog. (religious intolerance – hate language).

Lie: page 359 author states that in 1999 she wrote a letter to our brother and ‘a similar letter to my sisters, that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.’

Fact: I (Gert) never received such a letter. I attempted in early 1982 mediation with the author but the author said ‘go to hell’. After the betrayal by the author in 1992 I wanted nothing to do with the author. I attempted another reconciliation by phone in 2006 only to be betrayed again, by author.

Lie: pg 359 author states ‘my sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls’

Fact: I (Gert) never did.

Again, I must state that, it is the opinions of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, and Ruth Pace that our personal and family honor has been sullied and damaged by the publication of this book by Joan Wheeler. For honor sake we ask that Trafford Publication look at the content of the material in this book and remove it from your selling markets.

Thank you.

Why is Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family dead? Because she killed it herself! June 20, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Introduction by Ruth Pace

 In this new post by Gert McQueen, we see the elaborate scam that Joan Wheeler tried to pull. A scam she presented to her friends and supporters in the adoption reform arena, publishers, fellow adoptees,  and even her own blood kin. Here we go:

Joan Wheeler has so MUCH to answer for and not just to the family but to many many other people. All I can hope for is that people WAKE UP AND SPEAK UP to Joan for the damage she has done. She has left a long long trail of destruction and untruths that it DOES take time for some to come to surface, but, in this age of Internet archives…EVERYTHING comes to the surface!

 In Joan Wheeler’s, now pulled (dead), book she ‘acknowledges’ many people, among them was a Robert Rich from Australia. He is a ‘psychologist, non-adoptee and a content editor’. I wrote him in Dec 2010 about his involvement with the book, how we, the family, see the book and therefore his work on it. I never received a reply from him…no matter I informed him about Joan using his ‘service’.

 After the book was pulled I wrote another letter to him…in part it reads:

Robert Rich; The purpose of this note is to inform you that the book, Forbidden Family, has been pulled by the publisher. It has been proven that the author did indeed lie, slandered and grossly misrepresent many people and situations. My recommendation to you would be to inform Joan Wheeler of your displeasure at being placed in a book that has been found to be slanderous and libelous. Furthermore, I suggest that you seek damages from the author for putting you in this awkward position. (Ruth’s note,  the page that Mr. Rich had out on the internet promoting Joan’s book, was visible a couple of months ago, today, I checked, the page is GONE! – wonder why?)

 Furthermore, there are many people she has named, that ‘support’ her and web sites she has given where she has gone out on and slandered the family, that I may not be able to make any contact with, but, that is NOT going to stop me for showing the world just what kind of double-crosser she is…so hang on to your hats because WE are not done, not by a long shot. Over time I shall be contacting as many people and web sites, named in the book of lies, as I possibly can…to spread the word that Joan Wheeler is a liar, a slanderer and her book is no longer available.

 Some time ago I came across the following… found it to be very very interesting…such a con-artist that Joan is…attempting to tell others how to write a book!!! See my comments at the end…

 The All-White World of Children’s Publishing « sarahpark.com

Aug 14, 2009 My name is Joan M Wheeler, author of : Forbidden Family: A Half-Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism,

 This is what Joan posted to a question about where to publish…

October 6, 2009 at 3:29 pm


A good place to try is Trafford Publishings at:
Yes, it is a pay-your-own package and pay for extras, but he advantage is that this publisher is willing to publish well-written controversy. They won’t publish the usual problem-causers such aas porn or hate books, but they are interested in a book that can hold an audiance.
They are working with me as I complete the final stages of my book’s 3rd proof. This has been a very exciting 5 years! I contacted song publishers and purchased copyrights, and for each problem area I brought to Trafford’s attention, they were accepting. Controversy, no problem! Memoir, expose, history, aslong as you are truthful and aren’t out to hurt anyone, Trafford willmore than likely accept your contract. Yes, you have to pay for the publsihing contract and it is expensive, but mainstream publishers are not as willing to publish activist material.
If you do write to Trafford, please tell them that I sent you over! My name is Joan M Wheeler, author of : Forbidden Family: A Half-Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism, due to be published in the next two months!
Good Luck! Let’s get out there and send them some decent manuscripts that tell adoption stories as you would like our stories to be told! Peace, Joan Wheeler***

Now…I, Gert, did post this comment on the site, if it gets on it gets on…at least it is here on THIS blog: 

regarding Joan Wheeler, and her screen names of halforphan56 and 1adoptee and the book Forbidden Family:

 It needs to be pointed out that the book Forbidden Family, written by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford Publications has been pulled from their selling markets. The book is unavailable and no further copies of it in it’s present form will be printed. The book was pulled by the publisher after several months of investigating the documented proof sent to them by the birth family.

The pulling of the book proves that what the birth sisters have been saying, that the book is full of lies and hate, is correct. For further details see:  ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/


 Now, my comments about Joan’s posting …Joan NEVER paid for those extras…she paid for a ‘print ready’ package and no one in that publishing house ever saw the ENTIRE manuscript before they printed it. She is basically bullshitting as she speaks. She got various people to ‘content edit’ certain subject materials such as with Robert Rich named above. She told the editing staff, of Trafford, that she had the manuscript edited and she DID NOT pay for that service and therefore they NEVER saw the complete manuscript when they printed it.

 She continues here saying, ‘They won’t publish the usual problem-causers such as porn or hate books’.

 What does Joan think was IN HER BOOK? talk about porn and a hate book! I gave, as part of my evidence to Trafford, a total of about 8 pages that contained porn language…that in itself was CAUSE for the termination of the contract that Joan signed! And as far as hate goes…if the editing staff of Trafford EVER SAW the pages, before the formatting stages, they would have seen all the hate speech within the narrative of Joan’s ‘story’. But, they never saw the content…all Trafford did was to format the manuscript, make the pages and print the book. (Ruth’s note: I also submitted several pages of proof of Joan’s LIES [engineered to slander and libel me]. It was these proofs that Gert and I sent to Trafford in December 2010 that caused them to have their lawyers look over the book, and they determined that the porn, hate, and LIES violated the Terms of Conditions contract that Joan herself signed. Yes, she signed a contract that stated the book did NOT contain porn, hate language or lies. And it was proven that porn, hate language and lies WERE in the book. Therefore, Trafford pulled the book. She can whine all she wants now, and puff up and say she’s getting a lawyer – but any lawyer is going to tell her – “you blew it kid.” – oh and Gert and I will be putting out on this blog those several pages of proof – because we are honest. We give our blog readers full disclosure of what we write and to whom. We deal in truth. – Not only do we deal in the truth – we deal in the truth to EVERYBODY! – Unlike Joan, who tells one person one thing, another person another thing, and another person a third story. Joan thought she was being slick – she told Trafford one story, Mr. Rich another story, Prof. Rene Hoksbergen another story, she showed one version of her manuscript to our father, while submitting another version to Trafford for publication. The version of her manuscript that she showed Rene Hoksbergen was NOT the same version that was printed. Mr. Rich edited only a section of her manuscript, but she told Trafford that the entire manuscript was edited. – How do I know this? Because I recognized a non-existent event in her book. She relates in the book a tale of a three-month court battle between her and me in the year 1994 over a false child report that didnt’ take place until December 1994.  In the book, she relates how the court broke for lunch, and she and her two children were at a water fountain. I supposedly approached her children and said “do you see what your mother is doing to your poor Auntie?”

The “three months” court battle took place in 1995 when I took HER to court for harassment. There were three court dates – one, where Joan was summoned into court to answer my charges, and the judge scheduled the actual hearing date, the second time, it was adjourned to a third hearing date, where the judge dismissed everything. On the second date, the judge had made a general announcement to the room that no children were to be present. On the third date, Joan did bring her children – but they were outside with a babysitter, although it was a school day. In a letter I sent her, where I was telling her to leave me alone, I asked why did she bring her children – to parade them in front of the court – to show them how Ruth was dragging their mother to court? But we see in the book how she says the three court dates (three DAYS of court) gets exagerrated to THREE MONTHS OF COURT BATTLES! And she tells her children one thing, me another thing, and her book readers another thing! I have previously scanned the actual court documents pertaining this case on this blog. Joan is such a CON-ARTIST – you simply cannot trust her!

 Back to Gert and the original thrust of this post — How do I know (about book publishing)…well…I am a published author, I was an editor of a full-scale international magazine for seven years, I did writing, research, formatting, editing and real self-publishing of my own and others work…so I know what I am talking about.

 She (Joan) continues saying ‘complete the final stages of my book’s 3rd proof’…

 Knowing Joan’s propensity’s for exaggeration I would really wonder about 3 times…but again, she did write an additional chapter and added much to a manuscript just months before the book was published! So, if Trafford looked at it 3 times they really didn’t do a good job of it OR Joan didn’t GIVE THEM all that she wrote, until the end. I still maintain that she added MUCH after the basic drafts were looked over and completed, because she is devious and that’s why there is SO MUCH hate and libelous material in the book.

 And she says,  ‘as long as you are truthful and aren’t out to hurt anyone’

 What a laugh…sorry I’m not laughing…she wrote a truthful book and wasn’t out to hurt anyone?!! The entire book was to hurt everyone she believed hurt her. The entire book was to expose and exploit people.

 Let this be a lesson to those of you who believe that you have a RIGHT to tell her story…don’t write and publish ANYTHING that is untrue, because sooner or later, someone is going to get you…and we GOT YA…Joan!

 We have given, on this blog, direct quotes of Trafford’s own guidelines, all of which Joan violated. She signed a contract, she violated the contract and we the birth family gave the evidence to Trafford that they needed to pull the book from their selling markets. This book will not longer be available.

 Now, lets take a look at what Joan Wheeler has on her web site Forbidden Family…which she needs to change the title of because the book is defunked and by keeping the site as is and where it is she is continuing on with her hatred toward the birth family and others. She needs to make the site only for her adoption reform and not to slander the birth family…anyway…

 On the Q and A: Where to Buy my book…posted Mar 16, 2010 in part she says:

(Ruth’s note: misspellings are due to the great and wonderful published author JOAN WHEELER! We only copied and pasted what SHE wrote.)

 As an author, I am completely in the dark about how this book is being sold and purchased by worldwide book sellers. (Ruth’s note, June 20, 2011 – why is she “completely in the dark?” Why didn’t she find out? What an ass! She just told her readers she’s ignorant! I’m not a published author, and I figured it out! A vendor, no matter where they are located, will recieve an order, notify the publisher they need x amount of copies, when they receive such, they will fulfill the order. DUH!)

 I chose Trafford because they were the best Publish-On-Demand publishers available. There are pluses and minueses to any publishing contract.  I like that the book is available through Trafford Publishing worldwide. It will be available for sale online at thier bookstore for as long as I choose to keep it available, and as long as Trafford is a publisher. This means it will never go out of print.

 Currently I am doing, all media exposure and bookings for lectures and book signings, on my own as I can not afford to pay for these services at the pay-per-services fees through Trafford.

 I had to sent a signed book to Idaho and to The Hague, at two very different and expensive shipping costs.

 All this tells me that Joan put all her eggs in one basket thinking she could pull off a great con scam on the families but not telling anyone what she was up to and by not being fully honest with Trafford and guess what …. she lost!

On June 20, 2011 I googled the book at Trafford and it is NO LONGER listed on Google…now what does that tell you? The book is DEAD. 

Ruth’s additional comment:

Joan says: “I had to sent a signed book to Idaho and to The Hague, at two very different and expensive shipping costs.”

On amazon.com, there is a listing for two used books for over $180.00 – could it be those two “autographed” copies? Other “used” copies are going for around $30 – $40. And why are there USED copies out there anyway? Seems to me that some people, having spent $45.00 of their hard earned cash, got the book, read it and saw the garbage in it and sent it back to amazon to get a refund. $45.00 is a lot of money to pay for a crap book.

Joan, face it – if your book was so damn good, there wouldn’t be any USED copies, and your book would have been flying off the presses! You can sit and whine and say that it is because of OUR blog people didn’t buy it. That may be partly true – HOWEVER, how do you account for the many USED copies available?  Apparently people don’t want that garbage in their house. The book that I purchased isn’t even in my house – it’s at a friend’s house. I don’t want that shit in my house! And apparently, other people don’t either!

and what does she mean ” two very different and expensive shipping costs.” – ok, the Hague – is overseas in The Netherlands, but Idaho? How much does it cost to ship a book to Idaho? About 10 bucks? again, we see how Joan EXAGGERATES things. She is just incapable of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! Anything she says is always colored with her interpretation of it, her exagerration of it, her embellishing of it. This is why in previous blog posts I have said that she has diarrhea of the mouth – she can’t shut up, she can’t stop putting her own spin on things. And then she wonders why nobody likes her, wants anything to do with her, turns their backs on her, shoves her out of their lives. Her own customers don’t even want the book they bought!)

Suffer the wrath of the wronged birth sister who had nothing to do with Joan Wheeler’s adoption June 18, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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 by Ruth Pace

There’s a thread on the adoptee forum entitled Suffer the Wrath of the Adoptee. I’ll read it when I get a chance, but for now, I want to give my opinion on just the title of this thread.

 These adoptees like to label themselves ANGRY ADOPTEES. They are angry because for whatever circumstances went on in their lives, they were adopted. I can’t comment on their stories, because I don’t know them, I don’t know what happened. Frankly, it’s none of my business. I can only comment on the adoption that I know all about – that of my younger sister Joan Wheeler, who also calls herself an ANGRY ADOPTEE.

 I can’t control her anger. That is something she has to deal with. Whatever beef she’s got against my father, her aparents, the system – has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I was only 3 ½ years old when she was adopted by the Wheelers. I only heard that we had a new baby sister when she was born, then never saw her. Because of my father’s second wife’s illness, and her need to be placed in the psych center a couple of times, we remaining kids did indeed spend some years in foster care and a year in a children’s home. A couple of us lived here, a couple of us lived over there, and a couple of us lived somewhere else. (My stepmother had two sons of her own, so now there were six kids that needed to be looked after). When I was a little kid, I knew our younger sister was “adopted” and living somewhere else. I didn’t know what the word adopted meant. All I knew was that there was a total of 7 kids – 5 Sippels and 2 Genoveses scattered around. (4 Sippel kids, plus Doris/Joan and 2 stepbrothers).

 Trauma? Nope, because this was NORMAL for us. And from time to time, we would all get back together, and we all saw each other regularly. Where ever I lived, I had tons of friends! We were never mistreated. Eventually it began to sink in what adoption exactly meant and when we were teenagers, naturally we wanted to be reunited with our sister Doris/Joan. And by then, we recognized the fact that because of the legal system, we couldn’t contact her. But we were determined to find her, and we did. 

 When I was reunited with Joan in 1974, I opened up my life to her and my heart. I never judged her. I accepted her as she was. In 1974, I had been on my job for 2 years. In 1971, I had my first apartment, (actually a room in a boarding house), then in 1972, I had a roomie, in 1973, I moved back to my Dad’s house to save money, and to help out with the kids from my father’s third marriage. In May 1974, two months after meeting Joan, I got my first real apartment. In 1975 I met a wonderful man and we moved in together. We lived together for 10 years.

 And Joan was always a part of my life after our reunion. And yes, I accepted her, never judged her, she was my sister. We would do things as my time and my life allowed, just as with every other relationship in my life.

 But by the 1980’s Joan began to lash out at us. She interfered with Gert’s children in 1981-83. In 1985, right after I had my miscarriage, she showed NO sympathy for my infertility. Went out of her way to bring up subjects that she KNEW would hurt me. I know the world does not end when a woman, who has been trying for years to conceive loses her baby, but when someone DELIBRATELY sets out to hurt someone – that is unacceptable. Even during a phone conversation in April 1987, she was babbling on about how she “knows” all about infertility. (no, she knows book stuff, but NEVER experiencing the pain of infertility or the grief of loss of your child – she does NOT know). I told her THREE times during this conversation that I was planning on seeing a grief counselor and I DID NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! To her, or anyone else! THREE times I said this – did she RESPECT MY WISHES? NO! She just kept on blabbing about how she knows about infertility. What a f’ing disrespectful bitch. That’s when I hung up on her and did not contact her. 2 months later I moved in with my present husband. I sent my mail to a friend’s house in Lackawanna NY. For a year, she kept calling my job in the daytime – (I worked nights – still do). I would come in to work and find notes paperclipped to my timecard to call Joan. And I would throw the notes out. After I reconnected with her in 1988, she told me she went to the post office and got my forwarding address in Lackawanna and tried to find me – but the people there said they didn’t know me. ha ha ha – (thank you Hassan).  So who was STALKING whom – even back in 1987? But Joan bitches about ME stalking her when I read her shit online? She’s got a lot of f’ing nerve!

oh and by the way – when I did go to the grief counselor, I told her of the phone conversation I had with Joan. The counselor was appalled! She said Joan was disrespectful of me. (like I need a counselor to tell me that – but it was nice to know that a professional recognized Joan’s rotten behavior for what it was).

 From 1987 to 1988, I did not speak to Joan because of her disrespect to me. BUT in 1988 I tried to have a relationship with her. By 1990, she was at it again. She stole hundreds of dollars from me, we had a fight on the telephone over money she promised me. She called me on the phone and dictated to me” “I know I said that I was going to give you this sum, but I changed my mind.” (paraphrase) I told her to keep the money and I never wanted to see her again.

 This is what started the feud that continues to this day. Because I DARED  to stand up for myself. I NEVER belittled Joan’s activism in the adoption reform field. And it was ME who told her to write her book! (silly me).

 So let’s get back to this “suffer the wrath of the adoptee” business.


 As I said, I was only 3 ½ years old when she was adopted. I had nothing to do with it. From 1956 to 1974, I always wanted Joan in my life. From 1974 – 1987, I accepted and LOVED her. It was JOAN who destroyed our relationship in 1990 by stealing money from me. Money that she knew wasn’t even mine! I had borrowed it from the bank! Joan put me into debt!

 Then Joan set out to PUNISH me for being angry with her. In 1993, she baited me with a forged letter. (see post Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? ) Like a fool, I fell for it. I called her on the phone, she hung up. I called back, she hung up again. I called again. She hung up. What I did not know, she had a trace trap on the phone. SHE was the one hanging up on me, but she filed a false police report saying that I called her, swore at her and hung up on her. A week later, my electricity was shut off. She still owed me money. I called her on the phone. The first call, I was crying and said, “Joan, don’t hang up, I need help.” She did hang up. I called back, she hung up. Now I was angry, and I did call and swore at her. Admit it- you would do the same. And of course, these additional calls were caught by the annoyance call bureau. So the bitch hauled me into court. No, I was NOT arrested, and yes, a six-month order of protection was given to Joan. The judge told me to stay away from her for six months and everything would be dismissed. No, I was not placed on probation. Yes, I did stay away from her for YEARS.

 In the fall of 1994, Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient. She swore up and down that I did it. She complained to my employer. They investigated it. I did not do it. She wasn’t going to have it. She set out to change the events. She called my job for the next six months trying to get me fired. In December 1994, she called child abuse on herself, posing as me, and giving out my fiance’s name! Then in February 1995, I get a packet of letters in the mail from her – copies of letters that she had been mailing around to various elected officials in the Buffalo area – one of them being the mayor of Buffalo! These letters included my personal medical history and my life choices, where I worked, where I lived! I filed harassment and stalking charges against her. But the judge dismissed it, saying “sisters should get along.” By the way, during the time frame of December 1994 – April 1995, Joan was writing letters to my fiancé, sending them to his mother’s house, even wrote a letter to my future mother-in-law – the letters telling John to break up with me. She even telephoned John’s mother a few times, to trash me, then her other son grabbed the phone and told Joan if she ever called their m’f’ing house again, she would have to answer to him, and stop bothering his mother!

 Joan continued harassing me. In February 1999, I received two letters from her. One telling me that my fiancé had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant. (the house was vacant). The other one accused me of driving past her house – when at the time, I did not have a car.

 This time, I took her to Family Court. And was granted a one year order of protection against her.  These were the only 3 times we were in court – and in previous posts, I have scanned and posted the actual court documents pertaining to them.

 Joan finally stopped sending me garbage letters, but continued her hate campaign against me. She seethed in anger and I see that it built up in her, year after year. In 2009 she self-published her book and her anger and hate against me is very evident – almost every other page is anger and hate directed at me. She directs anger and hate against other people – but me in particular. She changes events around, LIES and says that it was ME who harassed her.

 So again, let’s get back to the “Wrath of the Angry Adoptee.” Joan is angry, no doubt about it. But WHY is she angry at ME???

Around 1988-89, she managed to get MY former foster-mother mad at her. Joan, in her obsession to “re-connect” with her birth family re-traced her siblings childhood history, going around to the neighborhood we lived in as children, introducing herself to people who still lived there, and even meeting our former foster-mother. Now I had told her something, IN CONFIDENCE – that when I lived there – I didn’t want to be there. That was no reflection on the care they gave me – they were wonderful people – but I wanted to be with my father. What does Joan do? She goes and blabs that to my foster mother and made her cry. She was an elderly woman. She was a friend of one of my cousins, and cried to her. Gail knew my feelings and covered for me – she just said, “oh Joan probably got things mixed up.” But when I heard about it – I yelled at Joan. She sat at my kitchen table, 34 years old, and whined, “I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong if nobody tells me.” What??? A 34 year old woman needs to be told how to behave? Not to betray things told to her in confidence?

Joan says somewhere in her book, and on her website, and other places on the internet, that the siblings that found her hold some sort of responsibility to her and her state of being after the honeymoon stage of our reunion with her. (my words, not necessarily hers, but the thought is the same). Excuse me. In 1988, she was 33 years old. She should have learned how to behave by then. She should have learned not to lie. She should have learned not to steal. She was raised by two competent people, she went to Catholic grammer school, Catholic high school, Catholic college. In 1988 she had two children of her own that SHE had the responsiblity to teach how to behave, yet she’s asking ME to teach these things to HER??? What the hell does she want from me?




 Joan, you don’t get to write a book that sullies MY reputation! Your book is “your point of view?” BULLSHIT! You wrote intentionally to HURT me. You know damn well that I was NOT arrested and placed on probation. THAT is called slander and libel – because you set out to intentionally damage my reputation. Just look at your history towards me – in 1993 how you filed the false police reports, tried to get me fired in 1994, called child abuse on yourself to implicate me, in 1995 tried to break me and John up and trashed me to his mother, and stalked and harassed me, invaded my privacy by writing letters to the mayor and others, in 1999, you falsely tell me that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. And we are supposed to believe that you did NOT write that shit book to hurt me and it was only “your point of view?”

 Yeah, we know, it is your point of view – YOUR point of view is that I, your sister, who never did a damn thing to you but love you, is trash, and should be punished in your book.


Never fear, I won’t lie – I don’t HAVE to – because the TRUTH about Joan is damning! And she brought it all on herself. 

UPDATE, August 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



A call to arm against the nasty sisters. – Joan Wheeler calls in the big dudes to sic it to us – roflmao! June 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

For those that have not seen the recent events on line here is the link to see Joan Wheeler’s article and all the comments.


On June 15, 201, Joan noticed that Ruth and I had commented on her article and so she goes to the adult adoptee’s forum and places this call to arm against her sisters!!! 

« Reply #11 on: Today at 12:42:25 PM »

For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.
 This call resulted in only ONE person, Laura, coming after me on the comments and I just put her in her place. There have been no other supporters and no one is talking about it…just where are Joan’s supporters? Anyway…
This call for help, by Joan to her adoptee friends, contain quite a lot of valuable information. It proves that Joan still believes her own propaganda…that she is being stalked! It doesn’t hurt to say this again…reading online articles and blogs and commenting on them is NOT any form of stalking. If anything, Joan is guilty of stalking the birth sisters because she still HAS not one but two, count them 2, blogs wherein she slanders us, continually. So until Joan Wheeler removes the blogs that talk about us in slanderous ways, we shall continue to watch, monitor and comment on her words.
She attempts to draw the attention to the fact that the book was pulled only because WE SAID she lied. She does not accept the fact that the book was indeed pulled, that is why she still promotes the book. Then she goes into the reasons why we sisters have no business commenting on her article. One, that the article has nothing to do with reunion…that is very telling…she can only think about us in ‘reunion’ mode…she does not see nor acknowledge any wrong doing on her part…its all the nasty sisters.
Second, she says “the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter.”
Oh she is waiting for her attorney…like she has one on retainer!…to look into the matter, so that the book will be reprinted no doubt! Ha what a laugh, she is on Social Security Disability and the state of NY pays the Legal Aid lawyers that she hounds to get help from!  Fact is that there was NO NEED for an attorney to represent her in the matter. It was a matter of a CONTRACT between Joan Wheeler and Trafford Publishing! Trafford’s lawyers took 4 months looking over the content of the book and the evidence that we sent them and they ‘covered’ their own backsides BEFORE they contacted Joan to inform her that they were pulling the book. Joan signed a contract and the contents of the book were in violation of the contract. She was told she could REWRITE it. They told both me and Ruth that if any rewrite was submitted, it will be looked at very very closely. So Joan could wait forever for her attorney from legal aid to tell her she doesn’t have a leg to stand on…or…Joan could just take me to court and sue my sorry ass for bothering her! I welcome an attorney…please please send a attorney after me!!!
Third she says: “the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree.”
Very very telling…same old rap…and not rap music…this is Joan’s story and she’s sticking with it, don’t confuse her with the truth that will only cause her head to explode! POP there goes Joan’s head! She can’t get it…she can not write something, about other people, from her point of view, and call it truth. She can not understand why we ‘disagree’ with her view. Doesn’t matter anymore Joan…keep speaking your rap, keeping popping up on public forums so that we can blow your logic and your view to shreds! At some point even a dog learns to stop doing something if he gets hit enough times!
Joan says: “This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me.”
I’m very glad to know that this is costly to her! It’s about time that she pay a bit for all the years and the continued harassments that she has done and is doing to us…pay baby pay! But what money is she spending on this? She doesn’t have a lawyer to pay…if she did…she would have me in court already. I don’t have to get a lawyer, cause getting one will cost me money and there is NOTHING that Joan has that I could gain from any damages because Joan Wheeler is a disabled person with on income or assests.
The cost of her emotional energy is again something that I’m very glad to hear…pay baby, pay!! You have done it all to yourself…all your words, in that book, are going to be coming back to haunt you. I am not done, there is a lot of things that have not gotten on this blog but in due time it will and I hope that each and every blog post causes you more emotional energy loss.
Finally she says: “They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”
How does she know that our blogs (actually only one) are filled against her? She obviously is reading it! She can’t keep away…we see the stats, we know the sites that come and read it and Joan is right there, checking on what we say…so why doesn’t Joan just learn to give it up!
Joan, you lost, your book is garbage and untruthful, it is libelous and will not be reprinted, start over with writing your life…hey Mara said you have enough material on your nasty sisters to write a second book…so go for it…but next time make sure you don’t mention that ‘forbidden family’ cause we shall haunt you forever!

1. Lisa Marie – June 17, 2011
Congratulations on having her book pulled.

 2. Ruth – June 18, 2011
Thank you Lisa
as to Joan’s call for the calvary charge –
hee hee hee
She called , they ignored.
“What? What was that? A call to go over to your sister’s blog and leave hate messages? Um, we did that in February 2010. Then some of us did it in May 2010, then we did it again, um when was it? Geez, we don’t remember. — so let’s get this straight- you keep whining to us about your big bad birth sisters, you keep trashing them on different internet forums, oh yeah, that’s right – in March 2011, you told lies on The Huffington Post about them, invading their privacy, trashed your own grandfather, and got yourself kicked off the Huffington Post. So now what? You want us to come and swear at your sisters again?, sorry, we got better things to do. Been there, done that.”


Joan Wheeler admits to having told lies in her book Forbidden Family June 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

Joan didn’t like the fact that Gert and I read her editorial in The Buffalo News and like a little girl, went running to the adoptee forum for help again. 

  Re: The Buffalo News finally published my article on adoptees birth certs! « Reply #11 on: Today at 12:42:25 PM »


For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.

 Look at this sentence again – “…have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told.”

 Joan does not say “because of the lies THEY ALLEGE I TOLD,” but says “because of the lies I told.” Typo? Not a chance – this is a classic Freudian slip of the tongue/hands on keyboard. This whack job is fairly SCREAMING for help. She is so lonely, her tormenting mama died. The only life she has ever known is strife and torment. So like a little child, she comes running to bait Gert and me – FOR ALL THE ATTENTION WE CAN GIVE HER! She has no family – she says this all the time. All she ever wanted was her birth family. When she first found out she was adopted when she was 16, she made the conscious decision to SEEK OUT HER BIRTH FAMILY. She WANTED to be connected with us – she still CRAVES THAT CONNECTION.

 Over and over she says she is incomplete. She wants her family. So she does things to get our attention. And in a sick way, she self-sabotages what she wants. This is classic behavior of a delusional sick person – any therapist will tell you that.

 Where are the guys in the white coats?

now look at this sentance: “They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”

see how she says blogS – again, we see how she EXAGGERATES everything. We have only ONE blog, we put a link to only ONE blog on the News website. So her sentance should have read “They insist on publicizing their blog (singular) that (singular) continues (singular, even tho it ends with an s, because it refers to ONE item).” – either she is a liar, an exaggerator, an imbecile, or a delusional lunatic. – take your pick – because she did NOT tell the truth in that sentance. There was no link to multiple blogS, only one. Readers – go check it out – here is the link – go see if  we publicized ONE blog or multiple blogS. Then you will be able to see that there is something seriously wrong with Joan.  



face it Joan – you need to change your address to 400 Forest Ave. – Buffalo Psychiatric Center

When does a person’s “point of view” become a lie or delusion? A rebuttal to Joan Wheeler’s statement that her book Forbidden Family is her point of view. June 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

In answer to Joan Wheeler’s statement that her book was written from her point of view, and her threats of lawyers.

If our blog is so dam damaging to Joan, why doesn’t she have her LAWYER take a look at it? Come on Joan, bring ’em on! Bring on your lawyer! I want to see his/her face when I show them the actual CITY COURT DOCUMENTS that prove once and for all that YOU are a LIAR! And a DELUSIONAL person at that.

Joan says her book was written per HER point of view – well she says in the book that in 1999 she was ARRESTED THREE TIMES (in regards to 3 separate harassment charges filed against her). NO, SHE WAS NOT ARRESTED – SHE WAS SUMMONED INTO COURT. SHE WAS NOT ARRESTED, SHE WAS NOT MUGSHOT, SHE WAS NOT MIRANDIZED, SHE WAS NOT HANDCUFFED, SHE WAS NOT FINGERPRINTED, SHE HAS NO ARREST RECORD. So her point of view is that she FANTASIZES that she was ARRESTED? No, she put that in her book to garner sympathy from her readers.

And when she says that I, Ruth have an arrest record and criminal record – THIS IS FALSE – I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED IN MY LIFE! – This is NOT a person’s “point of view.” Because if Joan Wheeler really believes that she, Joan, was arrested three times in 1999, and that I, Ruth have an arrest record – THIS PROVES THAT THIS WOMAN IS NUTS. SHE IS TOTALLY MENTALLY ILL AND NEEDS TO BE COMMITTED TO THE BUFFALO PSYCHIATRIC CENTER!

Point of view my ass! There can be only two possibilites here: either Joan Wheeler is a LIAR, or she is MENTALLY ILL! for someone to say that it is her point of view that they themselves were arrested, when they were not is clear evidence that they are f’ing crazy. or they are a f’ing LIAR!

Now, since I do NOT have an arrest record, or criminal record AS WRITTEN IN HER BOOK, Joan Wheeler slandered and libeled me in her book. THAT IS WHY HER BOOK WAS PULLED FROM PUBLICATION!


comment from Gert McQueen:

***point of view… in Joan’s way of retelling something she actually tells what is going on in her brain…that is NOT REALITY

when Ruth and I had a lunch with Joan in 1992…not ONCE did Joan tell us what she FELT at the time we were talking with her…but in the book… she rants and raves about HOW we talked trash her to her face!

Okay, if we did talk trash to her face for example, hey Joan you really need to get a hair cut…why didn’t she speak up and defend herself, then and there? Because she can’t, she is afraid, she keeps all comments to herself then…her alter-ego becomes the speaker/writer of the book, a blog post and anything else that comes out of her mouth…because she can’t DEAL with people directly. That’s why she can’t comment back to us on a public forum, she has to enlist others to do the real thing of TALKING DIRECTLY with us.

 So…when the boyfriend is going around yelling at and kicking the dog, she is afraid, she retells it that way…her alter-ego tells us how afraid she was…but instead of getting the hell out of there, she curls up in a ball of fear and later on the alter-ego tells the reader, of the book, how she felt and what the boyfriend felt…like she has a direct link to his brain!

 When the guy breaks off with her, she ought to have been glad she wasn’t kicked like the dog, she goes after him to get him to DEAL with his problems, so that he could see the value of HER manuscript. Was that reality? Doubt it. She would never directly confront a angry man who could easily hit her, she is a coward, so instead she writes in the book about her fears and his inabilities, she makes judgements…that it was HIS fault that HE couldn’t deal with his INNER TORMENTS and see the value of her expert advise where she tells me to get help. Heal thy self Joan.

no it is Joan who can not deal with her inner torments…so she lets the alter-ego speak…and that is where the lies come from…Joan’s alter-ego can not see REALITY only IMPRESSIONS.

 1. Gert McQueen – June 17, 2011

through out the entire book Joan goes to great lengths detailing her mental and physical conditions…she herself talks about her therapy sessions, her hypersensitivity, and many other behavioral actions that are clearly manifestations of mental distruptions…I’m not a doctor but clearly there is something wrong.

As we have said, in so many ways, what does all of that, Joan’s conditions have to do with adoption…PLENTY, because in Joan’s mind she is the WAY she is BECAUSE she is ADOPTED and she purposely uses ALL her behavior to prove it. She can’t help herself.

She doesn’t see how telling the reader, whether the following is true or not, but she relates that she pointed her middle finger, digging it into her adoptive mother’s chest, yelling at her that she (Joan) was f…ing her (a-mother) just like the a-mother f…ed her!

Is this something a sane person would put in print? Joan thinks so and of course it is in the book…and..the reason is because Joan’s alter ego is ABLE to do that on the printed page, but, most probably NEVER did it in real life.

Of course this is speculation on my part, for I was not there…but for issues where I was there…I will tell you…Joan’s point of view is not reality.

2. Ruth – June 17, 2011

well, Gert, I have a feeling that Joan actually DID abuse her amother – I’ve personally seen her in action, I’ve witnessed her temper tantrums, I SAW her slap her son across his face when he was 7 – we were at Ted’s Hotdogs on Porter Ave, and he was chasing the seagulls – he said he was on a “duck-hunt.” And she immediately thought he said the swear word and whapped him one. Another incident was witnessed by my husband – again she whapped him so hard on his left cheek John said it sounded like a thunderclap. And it left a clear impression of her hand on his face.
Another incident – when her daughter was 4 years old – we were going to go to the mall – and her daughter walked across the lawn and into dog poo. Joan went from being sane, to screaming at the top of her voice – grabbed her daughter by the arm and hauled her into the house while she yelled at her husband to get off his ass and be a father – meanwhile, I’m standing at the foot of the driveway, seeing all the neighbors looking – and I wanted the earth to swallow me.- because Joan and I look so much alike, I was mortified that I was related to this screaming maniac.

3. Ruth – June 17, 2011
Gert says in her first comment (the one at the bottom of my original post) “…no it is Joan who can not deal with her inner torments…so she lets the alter-ego speak…and that is where the lies come from…Joan’s alter-ego can not see REALITY only IMPRESSIONS.” and “later on the alter-ego tells the reader, of the book, how she felt and what the boyfriend felt…like she has a direct link to his brain!”

I’ve noticed this too – throughout the book she “senses” people talking about her. She relates at the age of 18, at an adoptive cousin’s wedding, which took place just after our reunion, she “sensed” the wedding guests talking about her. She doesn’t say she HEARD them, she SENSED them.

This is something that Joan does in real life all the time. She must be telepathic – she must be hearing voices – that she “senses” what people are thinking, their motivations, what they are going to do next.

That is why in my letter to Nicole Urdang, the ditz therapist, I told Ms. Urdang that she is a poor therapist – that she doesn’t see that this book is nothing but a chronicle of someone losing their mind.

Anybody who says they can “sense” what people in a large wedding hall are saying, can tell what her boyfriend felt, puts it in a book – is NOT sane.

Anybody who has NEVER been arrested, writes in a book that they WERE arrested, then says it was just her “point of view” that she WAS arrested is NOT sane!

If you’re arrested – you’re going to know it! There’s no “point of view” involved! It’s either/or.

Joan knows for a FACT that in 1993, she was granted a six-month order of protection against me. I was told by the judge this. The judge said it to the entire courtroom – where Joan was right there. The judge said “stay away from her for six-months, and this will be dismissed.” Joan was there – she heard it. She got the papers that reflected the judge’s decree. BUT Joan writes in her book that I was placed ON PROBATION!

This is her point of view? No, her point of view is NOT THE SAME AS WHAT THE JUDGE, MARGARET ANDERSON RULED! Therefore, it is NOT the truth! As I said above – Joan is either a LIAR or she is DELUSIONAL! And when she put that in her book – that I was arrested (I was not) and placed on probation – she slandered and libeled me – and that is why her book got pulled. Scans of the court documents were sent to the publisher – they had their lawyers look it over. THIS NULLIFIED THE CONTRACT BETWEEN JOAN AND THE PUBLISHER. Get a lawyer Joan – get one, I’m waiting – I’m waiting to show them how you SLANDERED AND LIBELED me in your book – no “point of view,” missy – it is deliberate slander and libel, whether caused by your LIES or your DELUSIONS.

Selfish Whiny Joan Wheeler strikes again, and gets another person mad at her (via Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –) June 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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lest people think Gert and Ruth are the only ones pissed at Joan – here is a post from a year ago

Selfish Whiny Joan Wheeler strikes again, and gets another person mad at her On a post elsewhere on the net, Joan writes the following about her adoptive mother, who is in a nursing home. She says, "She's very old and I'm trying to celebrate what life she has left. It is awfully difficult to sit there and hear her say that she is glad she could see her sister on Easter. Someone else got her into a wheelchair for that visit. I just am so hurt and angry that Mom wanted to see HER sister on that special day, but me, I spent … Read More

via Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family —

Gert McQueen answers Joan Wheeler’s attempt to dictate her birth sister’s use of the internet – Part 1 June 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

Joan Wheeler said on the adult adoptees forum after our comments to her article in the Buffalo News, the following…

“For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”

 Gert says: Here again Joan goes off begging for help from those on the forum to go after her nasty sisters who are stalking her! Yeh right! And who is harassing whom? Like I have stated in my comment to the newspaper…Joan does not like anyone who opposes her.

 It appears as if Joan Wheeler does not or can not understand the nature of public comments, particularly those that are against her views or by those individuals she hates. Last I knew I have freedom to express my view and I exercised that in my comment to a comment that someone had posted about Joan. I did not address Joan’s article in particular. I don’t have a comment on her article, but, I do have a right to express my view about whether or not Joan Wheeler has any kind of ‘political clout’ or whether she would be a good person for a job in the New York Assembly, which is what I was addressing. The best endorsement (pro or con) is from one who has had experience with knowing and dealing with the other or buying a particular product. Does Joan really believe that people DON’T do their homework and do not want to know about her moral integrity?

 And what does Joan Wheeler do? She immediately has to insist that we commented to stalk her, lie about her and publish our blogs that are filled against with her. Okay…one out of three ain’t bad! The one being about our blog being filled ABOUT her not against her. We are not stalking her nor lying about her…that is her view of it. She does not understand that I was addressing the issue of whether or not she has the moral integrity to be trusted…with politcal clout or anything else. That is the REAL reason for my comment, which is lost to Joan because she believes I don’t have any right to speak about her and her deeds.

 And then there is the book! Obviously Joan doesn’t have a sense of reality to why the book was pulled. She can say all she wants about how the book was from her point of view, but, the fact remains that what she published was libelous in nature, period, end of story. The only reason Joan and the publisher are NOT in court is because it costs lots of money. But the publisher was wise enough to just dump the book and count their blessings. I would most certainly welcome Joan Wheeler’s attorney to contact me so that he will see for himself or better yet why not just take me to court? Joan has all the resources of the New York state welfare and disability lawyers at her disposal…she is on disability and therefore has no problem with getting a lawyer. I certainly can’t imagine how much money she is spending on this but she is throwing good money after bad…meaning…she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. But, hey, if she really wants her day in court, come one already, and sue me!

Dictator Joan Wheeler commands that her birth sisters CANNOT read The Buffalo News online or submit a comment, even though Joan does not own The Buffalo News June 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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In a previous post, I wrote about the latest whine from Joan Wheeler. She had written a very nice editorial about adoptees and their birth certificate and submitted it to The Buffalo News, our local newspaper. Apparently they didn’t print it fast enough for her, because right away she started whining that the Buffalo News was a conservative paper, the city of Buffalo was full of conservative backward ignorant people, and so forth.

So her letter was finally published on June 10, 2011. Guess what people? I LIVE in the city of Buffalo, and I READ the Buffalo News. Both the hard copy and online. And if I read an editorial that is put out by the newspaper that I read on a daily basis, who the hell is Joan Wheeler to say that I am stalking her? I did not respond to her editorial, because it did not concern me. So how am I stalking her when I don’t respond? Gert also did not respond. So how is Gert stalking her? And by the way, Gert has every right to read an online edition of the newspaper that is put out in the city she was born in. How is that stalking anyone?

On June 13, a writer from Potsdam NY, left a comment online and said that she wished Joan Wheeler had political clout. Gert and I both had the same thought, that this person doesn’t know the real Joan. So we both responded on June 14 to THE LADY FROM POTSDAM, NOT JOAN.

Of course, Dictator Joan got her panties all bunched up and started screaming “they’re stalking me, they’re stalking me!” Then she goes to the adoptee forum and tells them this and asks for help from them to stop us. What is she? A little child? This behavior is akin to a 7 year old – “You stop bothering me, or I’m gonna go get my big brother and sic him on you.”

But this is typical of Joan. She accuses her birth sisters of everything wrong in her life. And when we are going on about our business, she’s got to put her foot down and dictate to us how to behave.

So I have this to say to Joan:


I am an American citizen and I have the freedom to go to any dam internet site I want. As long as I pay my internet bill and the website’s owners give me access, I WILL GO TO ANY WEBSITE AND READ IT – GOT THAT MISSY DICTATOR? Just who the hell do you think you are? Well I know WHAT you are: a BULLY! And I don’t give in to bullies! Got that?

And I have EVERY DAM RIGHT to submit a comment on The Buffalo News website. DO YOU WORK FOR THE BUFFALO NEWS JOAN? NO? THEN SHUT UP.

Endeavour (our shuttle) – or as Yoda says, “Do, or do not…there is no try.” June 12, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things, Lessons in Life, Uncategorized.
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 by Ruth Pace

I was experimenting, and now I know how to embed videos directly into posts. You learn something new everyday. And if you’re not, you’re stagnating. Dr. Wayne Dyer calls it inerita caused by depression. Where you sit and do NOTHING. Or you sit and whine and whine and whine. Whining is NOT a solution. Panic is where you’re treading water and don’t know what to do. This is Joan. Panic and Whining about her sorry life. And instead of taking up her bootstraps and making a life for herself, she writes a 600 plus page book that BLAMES everyone in her life of how sorry her sad life is.  She doesn’t take one ounce of self-responsibility for her own life! WTF?

I’m pissed because of changes in my job – we may be going on  strike in a week. Like a good fighting AMERICAN, I’m doing something about it, not whining. I didn’t like the way Joan lied about me and my family in her book Forbidden Family, so I started this blog to get the truth out. And it took us several months of talks with the publisher, but we accomplished our goal: WE GOT THAT TRASHY BOOK PULLED OFF THE MARKET!

What’s Joan done? Nothing but go on an  adoptee forum and whine about how tough her life is, and ask others to come over to this blog and give us hell. Why? Why can’t Joan speak for herself? Because she’s a LOSER! She’s wallowing in poverty because she never would get off her ass and get a  job. Now she’s too old to work. She says she’s disabled now. She has allergies and IBS. So do I. AND I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine) – I was born with it. Yet I have a job that requires heavy lifting. AND now I have arthritis in my spine. BUT I’m still at my job and doing it, despite the same physical ailments that Joan has, PLUS chronic back pain. what a wuss Joan is! (translation: LAZY!)

In writing about the birth of the American space program, Tom Wolfe  showed us great American determination. In 1982 a movie was made of that book. It’s called The Right Stuff. I believe I have the right stuff. I know my sisters Gert and Kathy have it. I know that Joan does NOT have it. Teddy Roosevelt is puking in his grave to see an American act the way Joan does – whine, whine, whine.

What are the names of the shuttles? The prototype, named after the ship of Star Trek, Enterprise. Which means an act. Others are called Challenger, Discovery, Endeavour. All names of getting off your butt and doing what would make Teddy Roosevelt proud – being a person of action, no whine, but action! 

I honor those of  our early NASA days, from Chuck Yeager on down to the present – oh gods, how Yeager would PUKE if he saw the whining and hate on that forum! Go read his autobiography for an autobiography of an American who ACTED, not whined.

To our Mercury, Gemini, Apollo and Shuttle astronauts I say: a job well done! To those on the Hubble program I say also, a job well done! Onwards! – my first video – opening credits of Star Trek Enterprise. sung by Russell Watson. Good stuff in there – from Amelia Earhart, to the Wright Brothers, Charles Lindbergh, Alan Shepherd (Mercury astronaut) is in there, the pullout of the shuttle Enterprise, and other exciting inspirational events! The second video is of shuttle Endeavour. The 3rd video is a clip from the movie The Right Stuff – actor Sam Shepher plays Gen. Chuck Yeager – the old man behind the bar is the real Chuck Yeager – who first broke the sound barrier in 1947! Enjoy!

update and reassertion…in case Joan Wheeer or anyone else still believes what she says or prints about her having a step-mother June 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

On Monday, May 30, 2011,  I had phone conversations with my stepmother and stepsister in which I told them that the book of lies has been pulled and no more copies will be printed. They both said THANK YOU to us daughters of our father’s first family. They both are very glad that I,  Ruth and Kathy have taken strong action against Joan Wheeler and her book of lies and filth, that has been a source of disgrace and dishonor to the birth family. My step-mother, my father’s recent widow, told me that ‘Dad said that Joan was NOT a member of the Sippel family’. My step-mother told me that she doesn’t want to see nor speak with Joan, ever. The entire birth family wants nothing to do with Joan Wheeler. My step-sister said that if Joan ever showed up at the house, the police will be called.

 So even though Joan insists and still keeps lies on her web site, in this case about having a step-mother…that so-called step-mother refuses any acknowledgement Joan Wheeler’s existence! Joan Wheeler has NO CLAIMS to the Sippel Family!

 Who does Joan Wheeler think she is talking to? Any fool can see that Joan just can not bring herself to alter her reality…by…removing those lies from her site. A fool she is and a fool she remains!

UPDATE, JUNE 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



Continuing on our informing blog readers on our activities regarding our postings about the pulling of the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler from publication on May 9, 2011 June 5, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Gert went to Adoption Under One Roof , which had a blog post from December 2009 announcing the publication of the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler – http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/dec-2009/fostermommy/forbidden-family-half-orphans-account-her-adoption-reunion-and-so   

Gert posted the following FYI, the site owner asked for clarification on the books listing on Amazon, and Gert answered.

 book has been pulled

Submitted by gert mcqueen on Mon, 05/23/2011 – 09:25.

 regarding Joan Wheeler, and her screen names of halforphan56 and 1adoptee and the book Forbidden Family:

It needs to be pointed out that the book Forbidden Family, written by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford Publications has been pulled from their selling markets. The book is unavailable and no further copies of it in it’s present form will be printed. The book was pulled by the publisher after several months of investigating the documented proof sent to them by the birth family.
The pulling of the book proves that what the birth sisters have been saying, that the book is full of lies and hate, is correct. For further details see: ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/

 Listed on Amazon

Submitted by FosterMommy on Wed, 05/25/2011 – 11:13.

 Hi Gert, I clicked on the amazon link above and Amazon is still selling the book and says it has several in stock. Will they have to pull the book as well?? Thanks for the heads-up for our readers. FM

 about availability of forbidden family

Submitted by gert mcqueen on Thu, 05/26/2011 – 10:03.

 The book, forbidden family, is…was…published by Trafford Publications. They are the ones who print the book, they are the ones who PULLED it from their offerings and they are the ones who will NOT publish it. If any physical copies are available, say on Amazon, then when all those physical copies are gone, there will not be any more printed.

The book as in its current form is full of libelous materials against the birth family and many many others includings anyone who is in favor of adoption. 

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