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Joan Wheeler lies about her siblings again, does not want us to speak up for our reputations. October 31, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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so the other day, Joan leaves another distorted “truth” about MY family on a New York Times online article. Gert corrected her distortion. JOAN- WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP PUTTING FORTH THAT TWISTED LYING RENDITION OF HOW YOU GOT TO BE ADOPTED? -enough already!

So Gert left a comment, CORRECTING Joan. Gert spoke the TRUTH about how our father came to the decision to relinquish Joan for adoption. But the TRUTHFUL way he came about his decision does not jive with Joan’s version. So Joan wrote another comment and trashed us again and lied about us again. Gert and I both left comments. I think mine got cut off – I think it was too long. But anyway – here is the link to the comments: http://community.nytimes.com/comments/opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/the-dilemmas-of-international-adoption/?sort=newest

So here is Joan’s newest comment:

Contacting and reuniting with natural family should be done with proper thought, careful planning, and consideration for the person and family being found. If my natural father had been given opportunity to be the one to make first contact, he would have handled it differently by contacting my adoptive parents first. Since I was still in high school at the time, I was unprepared for how the reunion unfolded. When my two fathers were together face to face, there were handshakes and tears. My natural father extended his hand to my adoptive mother as well. As the reunion went on, my two sets of parents met often with me and developed positive relationships, eventually welcoming grandchildren, having parties, and visiting each other even into old age. I was in the middle and tried the best I could to make sure both sets of parents knew I cared about them by acknowledging that I had “Two sets of real parents”. I wanted peace between the two families and they agreed. It was the fighting that my three older sisters created that caused the breakdown of our reunion. Keep in mind: I had relationships with other relatives besides them, and still do.

I am not exploiting anyone by telling my story. My older siblings never wanted me to speak out and write about my adoption. They complained all these years (since 1976) whenever I wrote articles in the paper about adoptees’ rights. I am an adoption reformer, whether it be domestic or intercountry adoptions.

I firmly believe that adoptees have the right to know their natural parents and other blood kin, despite the negativity of my sisters. They do not know that “no” means “no”. I want nothing to do with these people, yet they continue to interfere with my life. Not all reunions end up this way, but this negativity points to the evidence that adoption destroys families forever.

and here is my comment in it’s entirety:

HalfOrphan 56, aka Joan Wheeler is definetly a poster child for the delusions of anti-adoption.
Ms. Wheeler says, (about her birth siblings): “(they) never wanted me to speak out and write about my adoption.”
This is a complete fabrication. In 1980, I accompanied Ms. Wheeler to WGRZ-TV studios in Buffalo NY for an interview on adoption reunion and supported Joan in her desire to write a book on her adoption, her reunion, and her viewpoints.
Ms. Wheeler spent the next 30 years, writing a book that contained complete falsehoods in it.
We were reunited with her in 1974, by 1981, Ms. Wheeler became an interference in our lives. She disrupted many lives with her harassments.
Yet, until the year 1990, I continued to try to reach out to her, to be a sister to her, until she stole several hundreds of dollars from me. After I broke off ties to her, she began a campaign of hate and harassments against me, including calling my place of employment almost daily for 6 months, trying to get me fired.
When her book was published in November 2009, I was appalled at the lies in it. One, that I have a criminal record and arrest record, both are falsehoods. In December of 2010, my sister Gert McQueen and I, submitted complaints to the publisher of Ms. Wheeler’s book, Trafford Publications, After several months of investigation, on May 6, 2011, Trafford pulled the book from publication on the grounds that Ms. Wheeler violated her contract with Trafford that her book contained no slander, libel, or that she owned sole copyrights to all content of the book. She had submitted a photograph, published on the back cover of the book,of my family, taken in 1955. Ms. Wheeler was not born until 1956, and, being adopted out in 1957, no longer a legal member of my family. How does this person own a copyright to a photograph of me, taken when I was 3 years old? – And Trafford Publications agreed.

I am not going to get into any discussion of the morality/immorality of adoption. That is for people who have that passion to do. I merely want to set the record straight.

Joan Wheeler – Half Orphan – has been proven to be a liar, a trouble-maker, (one example is writing to me in 1999 that my infertile husband got the next-door neighbor pregnant), a person who misrepresents and lies about  her birth family, and herself. She claims to be a disabled social-worker, yet never worked a day as a social worker. She claims to have been a suicide prevention counselor, yet only worked as a volunteer manning telephones. She herself has threatened suicide as a ploy for attention for years, to my face at least twice, and once in 2010, on an onliine discussion forum.

 Ms. Wheeler says “Not all reunions end up this way, but this negativity points to the evidence that adoption destroys families forever.” – NO, it was not her adoption that destroyed our family – it was her own behavior that destroyed our reunion.
Would you keep a person around you that steals from you, lies about you, tries to get you fired from your job, writes letters to you that your husband got another woman pregnant? NO?, Well, neither do I. 

And here  is Gert’s comment:

When she was 18, her four siblings wanted to make contact. I spoke with a lawyer and an adoption agency and was told that yes indeed siblings COULD legally make contact with an adoptee once they were 18. She was ‘looking’ for her birth family, but she has choosen to focus only on the fact that it was her siblings, namely me because I was the eldest, who made the initial contact.
 
I do not for a second buy this adoptee’s reasonings, about anything, for I have known how she thinks or doesn’t think at and about any given circumstance. This person continues to place blame for her inabilities of everything onto everyone else. I shall not take the blame for her, at age 18, for NOT being prepared for LIFE, that was the adopted parents responsiblity, not mine. I will take responsibility NOW for the fact that it was the WORST MISTAKE of my life for ever wanting to know this sibling that was placed out of our family. Blood doesn’t make a sibling, this sibling was not raised like we were and therefore she can not comprehend HOW we think, and that is why she exploits us, to make us into what she thinks we are or should have been. Read all about just how this adoptee was the victim by her siblings, please do come and take a look.
ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com   gertmcqueen.wordpress.com
 
When you lie about things, to promote a cause, that is called exploitation! I did not give you permission to speak or write about my life. If ‘NO’ means no then why has this person, not only continued to interfer with our lives, for years, but then wrote a libelous book about us and everyone else’s lives? We have NOT been in her life. Today we are only refuting and setting the record straight from all the lies this person has told and continues to tell about us and family. She can write all she wants for adoptee rights, I never said she couldn’t! She can write about HER adoption. She CAN NOT write about MY LIFE. What I object to is her lying about my life and my family’s lives.

comments to this blog post:

1. Ruth – October 31, 20

oh by the way – Joan says she was still in high school when we contacted her – so? She was 18. legal age.
and she had made the conscious decision at the age 16 – two years prior – to search for her birth family – so this nonsense that she was not prepared is pure bullshit!

2. RuthOctober 31, 2011

and then I left this other comment on the site:
No one is interfering with Half-Orphan’s life as she claims in her latest comment (#163) –
fact – at the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to search for her birth family.
fact – she was aged 18 – legal age, when she was found by her birth family. she may have been in high school, but she was prepared for the reunion – she wanted it since she was 16.
fact – in 1974 we reunited with her, but by 1981, she began exhibitng harassing behavior towards us, her birth sisters.
fact – her book WAS an exploitation of US – by telling private details of our lives, which had nothing to do with her adoption, or reunion, or activism.
fact – her book was pulled from publication due to slander and libel
fact – it is half-orphan who is the one who continuously misrepresents and lies about us, her birth family.
fact – we do not care about her views on adoption – we only speak up when she lies about us and our family. she can say anything she wants about adoption – but not about us or our family.
fact – it was not her adoption or a failed reunion that destroyed our family – our family was never destroyed – and yes, our reunion failed, becasue of half-orphan’s own harassing and hate-filled behavior.
Whether adopted or not, reunited or not,, birth sister or not, I will not have a person who has done many detrimental things to me around me.

3. RuthOctober 31, 2011

in the meantime, I see on my stats pages, that the moderators of the comments to this article came to view this blog and Gert’s blog.
As of yet, they have not approved our answers to Joan.

If they do not approve our comments, I will demand that both of Joan’s comments be removed on the grounds that they are libelous to me and my family.

If the New York Times does not want to get involved in a family squabble, that’s fine by me – and if they want to censor me, they dam well better censor Joan!

4. RuthOctober 31, 2011

New York Times opinion moderator, despite having checked out our blogs several hours ago, has still not posted my comments. So I sent this message to him/her:
dear moderator,
if you are not going to post my comments, as is your right, then please remove Half-Orphan’s posts, as they are complete falsehoods.
No one is interfering with her life.
Half-Orphan is well known in the adoption reform community as Joan Wheeler – so her words are being read and her slanders about her birth family is being read and understood.
She has a two web sites where she slanders us.
I can understand you not wanting to get in a family squabble, fine, then be fair – don’t give credence to a bully, but not let the bully’s vicitm have their say.
I flagged Half-Orphan’s lastes post as inappropriate because it contains slander. Her book WAS pulled by Trafford Publicatiion due to its slanderous content. contact Eugene Hopkins at Author Solutiions if you do not believe me.
thank you for listening.

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Comments

1. Ruth - October 31, 2011

oh by the way – Joan says she was still in high school when we contacted her – so? She was 18. legal age.
and she had made the conscious decision at the age 16 – two years prior – to search for her birth family – so this nonsense that she was not prepared is pure bullshit!

2. Ruth - October 31, 2011

and then I left this other comment on the site:
No one is interfering with Half-Orphan’s life as she claims in her latest comment (#163) –
fact – at the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to search for her birth family.
fact – she was aged 18 – legal age, when she was found by her birth family. she may have been in high school, but she was prepared for the reunion – she wanted it since she was 16.
fact – in 1974 we reunited with her, but by 1981, she began exhibitng harassing behavior towards us, her birth sisters.
fact – her book WAS an exploitation of US – by telling private details of our lives, which had nothing to do with her adoption, or reunion, or activism.
fact – her book was pulled from publication due to slander and libel
fact – it is half-orphan who is the one who continuously misrepresents and lies about us, her birth family.
fact – we do not care about her views on adoption – we only speak up when she lies about us and our family. she can say anything she wants about adoption – but not about us or our family.
fact – it was not her adoption or a failed reunion that destroyed our family – our family was never destroyed – and yes, our reunion failed, becasue of half-orphan’s own harassing and hate-filled behavior.
Whether adopted or not, reunited or not,, birth sister or not, I will not have a person who has done many detrimental things to me around me.

3. Ruth - October 31, 2011

in the meantime, I see on my stats pages, that the moderators of the comments to this article came to view this blog and Gert’s blog.
As of yet, they have not approved our answers to Joan.

If they do not approve our comments, I will demand that both of Joan’s comments be removed on the grounds that they are libelous to me and my family.

If the New York Times does not want to get involved in a family squabble, that’s fine by me – and if they want to censor me, they dam well better censor Joan!

4. Ruth - October 31, 2011

New York Times opinion moderator, despite having checked out our blogs several hours ago, has still not posted my comments. So I sent this message to him/her:
dear moderator,
if you are not going to post my comments, as is your right, then please remove Half-Orphan’s posts, as they are complete falsehoods.
No one is interfering with her life.
Half-Orphan is well known in the adoption reform community as Joan Wheeler – so her words are being read and her slanders about her birth family is being read and understood.
She has a two web sites where she slanders us.
I can understand you not wanting to get in a family squabble, fine, then be fair – don’t give credence to a bully, but not let the bully’s vicitm have their say.
I flagged Half-Orphan’s lastes post as inappropriate because it contains slander. Her book WAS pulled by Trafford Publicatiion due to its slanderous content. contact Eugene Hopkins at Author Solutiions if you do not believe me.
thank you for listening.

5. Is Joan Wheeler helping or hurting the cause of Adoption Reform? « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - November 3, 2011

[…] October 31, I posted this blogpost: Joan Wheeler lies about her siblings again, does not want us to speak up for our reputations.  It references a New York Times opinion piece and comments: The ‘Enabling Violation’ of […]


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