My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler November 30, 2011Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, dishonesty, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, Eugene Hopkins, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Joe Soll, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, Trafford Publications
Here it is – at long last – my official complaint to Trafford Publications – the complaint that made them take a look at the book they published. The contract they had with Joan Wheeler was that the book was “ready-to-publish” that is, all editing for content had been done already.
Let me explain. Trafford is a publishing vehicle for authors to self-publish their works. Trafford offers several packages. They offer editing services, but Joan opted out of that. I wonder why? Because one of the articles of the standard contract Trafford offers to their prospective authors is: no obscenities. Yet on page 370 Joan publishes a post card that she received in the mail that had obscenities written on it. (and as usual – she blames ME for it – even tho the handwriting is not mine). – Anyway, she slipped that in under Trafford’s nose – she told Trafford that the book had already been edited for content. Therefore, nobody at Trafford ever read the entire manuscript – they took Joan at her word and published it.
Joan also signed the contract that stated that no slander or libel was contained in the book. She signed the contract under false pretenses. In my last two posts, A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family and Graphics of scanned court documents, etc. that prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family, I outlined many lies contained in only pages 295 – 342, and provided actual court documents and actual letters (one hand-written by Joan, one typed out, and contains a hand-written note by Joan), that refuted those lies contained in only less than 50 pages in that hideous 600 page plus book.
When Joan signed the contract with Trafford, they took her word the book contained no slander or libel and published the book. When they received my complaint (along with one from Gert), it took them from January 2011 to May 2011 to research my complaint. In other words – someone from Trafford FINALLY sat down and read the garbage they had unwittingly published. Not only did they have to read the garbage that Joan wrote – they had to look through the court documents that I sent them. Then they had to sift through all the convoluted lies and twisting of facts, events, dates that Joan did on those few 50 pages and that I outlined in my post A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family .
The result? Trafford’s editors and legal staff agreed that Joan, by signing the contract under false pretenses, LIED to them and pulled the wool over their eyes. Their only recourse was to: PULL THAT GARBAGE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION.
I also pointed out to Trafford that the photograph on the back cover of that garbage book is of ME and my siblings and parents. Joan had no right to publish that photograph. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until 1956.She was adopted out a year later. She was given COPY of it almost 20 years later. Copies of that family photograph were distributed to many family members during the 1950’s and 1960’s. One of the articles in the contract that Joan entered into with Trafford was that she “was the sole copyright owner of all content of the work.” She did not, and DOES NOT own the copyrights to MY photograph. Joan has a little blurb on her website that the faces are blurry and obscured by text – that is just her trying to get out of the mess that SHE alone got herself into. When I pointed out to Trafford (in a telephone call with Eugene Hopkins, at 11:am on May 9, 2011), that Joan did not get permission from ME (orally or written) to publish MY photograph – Mr. Hopkins agreed right then and there to PULL THE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION!
That happened on May 9, 2011, and to this day, November 30, 2011, Joan, in her delusional state, her continual REFUSAL TO FACE REALITY – still has a link on her website that directs “buyers” of this garbage book to a sales page on Trafford’s website – a page THAT NO LONGER EXISTS because Trafford pulled it down!
Joan Wheeler is a pathological LIAR – she not only lies to people to their face, she lies on the internet. She spent more than half of her life writing her precious book – the book that she invested so much wasted time and energy on – finally got the stupid thing published, but then got it pulled because she not only LIED in the book – she LIED to the publisher that it contained no lies.
AND this delusional LIAR has a facebook page promoting this book. A DEAD BOOK! Ok, she made the page over a year ago – but it’s still in existence. BUT – she recently (October 2011) created an account on The Huffington Post, using this page. A page that promotes a DEAD BOOK! (because she can’t register on Huffington under her regular facebook page – thanks to her posting some lying shit about us back in March 2011 – and she got booted off of Huffington). So what does she do – she re-registers under false pretenses. Using a dead book. Will she never learn NOT TO LIE?
So here is my complaint. There is a list of documents – I’m not going to post them all. Go here to this post to see only a couple of them. They are enough to back up my TRUTH of what happened. And to show how Joan Wheeler LIED in her book about me.
Part 1 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace
Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford
Submission by Ruth Sippel Pace, birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family.
For consideration of Trafford Publishing to rescind their contract with Ms. Wheeler regarding the publication of this book, on the grounds that the book contains many falsehoods, slanderous statements about me, Ruth Sippel Pace and other members of my family. The book also contains references to my life, which are personal in nature, and the author has not been given my permission to discuss with anyone, nor publish them in a book.
Also, my photograph is published on the back cover, my face is clear, even though it is a picture of me as a child. I never gave permission for this picture to be published. The picture of my father’s face is clear. The author’s stance of her changing the names of living person’s in the book is enough to provide privacy does not hold up to the fact that she uses her own real name, Joan Wheeler in the book, identifies the city of her birth and the city of the birth of her birth siblings, as that of Buffalo, New York. Any person with any reasonable intelligence and who ever knew my father, would recognize his picture on the back cover of the book and put names to people mentioned in the book. My father worked for the city of Buffalo in Buffalo’s City Hall for more than 30 years and is well known. We also have a large family, and the Wheeler clan is also very large. Also, the details of Joan’s adoption have been publicized in the past, via a television interview of Joan and myself (together), and newspaper interviews of Joan and my father (separately). In the case of the television interview, both my face and Joan’s were in clear view, and our names were given on camera. In the newspaper articles, both my father, and Joan, had their photographs published, with their names published with the photos.
In a conversation between my sister Gert McQueen and Mr. Tubio, Mr. Tubio requested the most telling of the lies we have found in the book Forbidden Family. I will start by refuting Joan’s narration of court cases that Joan and I were involved in against each other. This narration is on the following pages: 314 – 317, 322-333, 362-368. Unfortunately, Joan not only lies about actual events that happened between us, and the court cases, but mixes up the court cases with each other until there is such a convoluted narration of these events, that I have to resort to first telling you in a few short paragraphs, exactly what happened before I can point out any slanderous comments that are contained in these pages. I do have, scanned copies of actual court documents that support the truth of what happened. These are included at the end of this email, are listed as thus:
01 -Joan’s complaint July 9, 1993
02a – restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94
02b – closeup dates restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94
02c – closeup name restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94
03 – Joan’s letter to Albany, New York Dec 31, 94
04 – Ruth’s complaint 3-7-95
05 – Joan’s letter to John
06 – summons April 19 95
07 – certificate from Buffalo Police Academy 8-29-98
08 – Ruth’s petition to Family Court 6-4-99
09 – summons to Family Court 6-4-99
10 – temporary restraining. 6-4-99
11 – one year restraining order June 24, 99 – June 24, 00
When it is necessary to refer to these evidence documents, during my narrative and the narrative contained in the book, I will be referring to them by their assigned number.
My second email contains the remainder of the many lies and invasions of my privacy that are contained in this book.
I have listed the page number first, then the quote from the book in bold, and my objection/telling of the truth follows. Joan Wheeler refers to me, Ruth Sippel Pace as Brenda in her book. It is my contention that Ms. Wheeler’s purpose for writing the book is a means of revenge and hurting people that have ever disagreed with her. There are many personal attacks on me in this book. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler portrays me as an uneducated inner city ghetto dweller with a foul mouth and a person who drinks all the time. I have found many personal hateful slurs directed at me in this book. I believe she included these slurs in an attempt to hurt me, as she has done many things to me in the past 25 years to hurt me. For example, she made a complaint to my job that I was a computer hacker. After they investigated me, found me innocent, and told her this, she would NOT accept it. She called my job almost everyday for several months trying to get me fired. This book is just a continuation of Ms. Wheeler’s hate campaign against myself and others. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouths, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. And to lend credence that people actually DID agree with her, as she reports in the book.
Right from the beginning, Ms. Wheeler presents a falsehood:
“I believe I have written a fair and accurate account.” “ This is my story as it happened to me.”
I have caught Ms. Wheeler in many out and out lies that cannot be construed as a faulty memory, the most telling is blatant falsifications of actual court proceedings between Ms. Wheeler and myself and the decisions of the court.
The court proceedings between me and Joan had their beginnings in 1990 when Joan and her ex-husband stole several hundred dollars from me. Between 1990-1992, there were many arguments between us over this. The theft of the money was one of previous misdeeds Joan had done to me. It got to the point that in disgust, I told Joan I wanted nothing more to do with her. In February 1993, just before Valentine’s Day, I received a greeting card in the mail. Actually, the envelope was addressed to me. Inside was a Valentine’s Day card, for my husband, supposedly from Joan’s children. It was not a Valentine’s card that children hand out, it was a specialty card, for a “special Uncle.” (this was just the beginning of Joan’s playing games with the mail. I received many envelopes addressed to me, but the letter inside was for my sister Gert (who did not live in Buffalo, or the envelope was addressed to me and my husband, with the letter for me. Joan would also manipulate the return address and zip-codes so that if I attempted to refuse it and “return to sender” the post office’s machines would spit it back for delivery back to me). In May 1993, another envelope addressed to me arrived, inside was a forged letter – supposedly from my 10 year old nephew to my husband, but on close examination, you could tell the sloppy printing was Joan’s.
During this time, Joan was receiving annoyance phone calls and she suspected me. She called the police and the phone company and arranged to have her line tapped. To ensure that I would call her, she sent a Father’s Day card, supposedly from her children, to my husband, and again, the envelope was addressed to me. And I took the bait. I called her, and she said, “hold on.” Click. ?? I called back. “Hold on.” Click. I called again, “Joan, this is Ruth.” I intended to ask why the envelopes were addressed to me, but the contents were for my husband, but then Joan swore at me and hung up. I got tired of her game and gave up.
The following week, my electricity was cut off, as my husband and I were undergoing some financial difficulties. Knowing that Joan owed me over $700.00, I called her. I was crying and said, “Joan, I need help.” She hung up on me. I tried a couple more times. She kept hanging up on me. I got angry and called her and swore at her.
Shortly afterwards, I got a call from Buffalo Police Detective Martin Harrington, who wanted to know why I was calling Joan. I told him exactly what I just wrote here. He said he believed me, and would recommend that Joan drop any charges against me. She went ahead and filed harassment charges on me, signing the complaint on July 9, 1993. (DOC 01) I do not have the summons for that court case, but appeared in front of Judge Robert Russell on August 9, 1993, where Joan was granted a six-month Order of Protection against, on ACD. (Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal). (DOC 02a). The writing is hard to read, so you must look at DOCS 02b and 02c to make out my name, and dates of the duration of the six-month restraining order – August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.
Sometime in 1994, Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill from my employer (Buffalo General Hospital) got mixed up with a bill from another patient. Ms. Wheeler accused me of computer hacking and lodged a formal complaint with my employer. I was investigated and found innocent but Ms. Wheeler would not accept this. For several months, beginning in the fall of 1994 and continuing through January 1995, she was calling various departments in the hospital and telling numerous people how “bad” I was. On December 22, 1994, a child abuse call was made against Ms. Wheeler. The caller identified themselves as me, saying that Ms. Wheeler had sex with my husband in front of her children. On December 31, 1994, Ms. Wheeler wrote to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, to request a copy of the information of that call. (DOC 03). In that letter, Joan refers to our court case of August 9, 1993, and informs them that I was put on six months “probation.”
As my then fiancé, John Pace was named in the child abuse call, he was involved in talks with the Child Protective Services people, but HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING, BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT I DIDN’T PLACE THE CALL. HE WANTED TO KEEP ME OUT IT, WHILE HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.
The first I heard of this was in February 1995, when I received a large manila envelope from Ms. Wheeler. Inside were copies of letters that she wrote to the mayor of Buffalo, the commissioner of our local (Erie County) social services department, the formal complaint she wrote to my employer, and the letter of December 31, 1994 that she wrote to Albany New York. When I read the lie about me being placed on probation in 1993, I filed harassment charges against Ms. Wheeler on March 7, 1995. (DOC 04). On March 17, 1995, Ms. Wheeler sent a letter to my fiancé via his mother’s house begging him to ask me to drop the charges and urged him to leave me. (DOC 05).
We appeared before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing. Our case was adjourned to a date in May 1995. On this date, Judge Anderson dismissed my case against Ms. Wheeler, saying that “sisters should get along.” I thanked the judge for considering my case and left.
I continued receiving harassing letters from Ms. Wheeler through the next several years. I ignored her. In the meantime, I involved myself in organizing a block club for my street, and became a neighborhood activist to improve the quality of life in my neighborhood. As part of this, I took a short course through the Buffalo Police Academy to be a VIABLE volunteer (Volunteers in Aiding Buffalo Law Enforcement). To be considered for this, candidates had to undergo a background check, and since I had a clean record (the one six-month restraining order had been summarily dismissed, because I had abided by the judge’s instructions to me to stay away from Ms. Wheeler). I had no arrest record, no record of probation, nothing. I was awarded my certificate and appointment to the VIABLE program on August 29, 1998. (DOC 07).
On February 15, 1999, I received another letter from Joan, and in it she tells me that her son saw me driving past her house (DOC 08). This was a lie, as I didn’t even have a car at that time. I called her house to tell her to leave me alone and a male answered, and I hung up, saying nothing. I then sent her a letter telling her to leave me alone. I told her that I did not have a car, did not drive past her house. And that since she had a man now, she should concentrate on her own life and to leave me and MY man alone.
Then on February 23, 1999, I received an envelope addressed to me. I did not recognize the return address, but inside was a letter to me from Ms. Wheeler, informing me that my husband had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant and the child was born in 1994 (totally untrue, as the only children born to women living in that house were 2 boys). (DOC 09).
I met with the woman who lived at the address on the envelope – she was Carol, Joan’s friend who was in the court with Joan’s children. Carol told me that the previous year, Joan had been asking for a “hit man” to take me out. I went to the District Attorney’s office and they said that because it was hearsay, they couldn’t do anything about it. I spent the next two months trying to get harassment charges filed against Joan. I got another manila envelope from Joan, which I refused to open. I returned it, marking it “return to sender” and Joan then manipulated the return address and it came back to my house. I decided to return it to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.
This resulted in Joan calling my house and swearing at me. I talked to several people and they suggested I petition Family Court, as the District Attorneys were tired of the both of us sisters and not taking this matter seriously. On June 4, 1999, I did just that. (DOC 10). They listened to my complaint, and in front of me, they went into the court computer system and found the two previous court cases involving Ms. Wheeler and myself (1993 and 1995). They typed this information onto the complaint that I signed, issued a summons for both me and Joan to appear in Family Court on June 24, 1999. (DOC 11), and granted me a temporary restraining order ON THE SPOT (DOC 12). On June 24, 1999, Judge Margaret Szczur made the temporary restraining order permanent. (DOC 13).
Now we shall examine how Ms. Wheeler presents these facts in her book Forbidden Family.
Pages 314 – 315
Joan is discussing a conversation she is having with Det. M. H. The subject of her threatening to report our sister Kathy to the British Immigration Department comes up, as well as a couple of my pets.
Det. H. did not know that there was any threat to call The Home Office – Back in 1989, Joan got into a snit with Kathy and said to me, “I ought to call immigration on her.” (as a revenge tactic). I told her not to do that. And I hadn’t told Kathy what Joan threatened to do, because Joan promised me she wouldn’t make the call. I eventually did tell Kathy, but it was AFTER this alleged conversation takes place. Joan alleges that the detective asks Joan who Brandy Sippel is, because supposedly, my phone bill is listed under that name. Which is false. Joan tells the detective that Brandy is one of my cats. False, Brandy was my dog. She mentions another one of my cats on page 315, Francoise (this conversation with the detective is supposedly taking place in February 1993). My cat Francoise had been put to sleep in 1992.
Page 316 time frame – February/March 1993
“the detective issued a warrant for Brenda’s arrest to appear in a Buffalo Court. A Restraining Order was then issued to keep her away from me for a year.”
Lie. Joan signed the complaint about annoyance calls from me on July 9, 1993, not in February or March 1993. The calls weren’t made until June 1993. see documents 01, Also an arrest warrant was NOT issued. What was issued was a summons to me by the court, not the detective, to appear in court. When a person is summoned into court, and they do NOT appear, THEN an arrest warrant is issued, and this warrant is issued by the COURT, not any police officer. As I did appear in court, no arrest warrant was ever issued, and I was never placed under arrest. Also the Order of Protection was for a period of six months, NOT one year. (DOCS 02a, 02b, 02c). And this was issued ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal, which means that if I stayed away from Joan for the six months, all charges would be dismissed. I did abide by the court’s orders – I stayed away from her and the charges were dismissed. We appeared in court on August 9, 1993, and the Order of Protection was for the dates August 9, 1993 – February 9, 1994.
Joan is describing an event that took place on Saturday, July 31, 1993 (but she reports in the book it was for August 1, 1993. She and ex-husband were moving and had enlisted the help of my husband. Joan reports that I followed him to her house in my car, began screaming at him in the street, went up to Joan and accused her of having an affair with my husband. Joan says that four witnesses heard me screaming in the street. On page 323 she says: “The Restraining Order against Brenda wasn’t good enough to keep her away. On August 1, 1993…”
Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.
As we had not appeared in court yet, nor the restraining order set in place yet, I was in no violation of a restraining order on July 31, or August 1, 1993. I did not follow my husband in my car, we did not have a car at the time. I took the bus there. I had told my husband in the past I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated this request on July 31, 1993, and Joan overheard me, as she was standing nearby. I was not screaming at him in the street. I did not at any time accuse them of having an affair. I would also like to know who the four witnesses to my screaming are. I did not see four people outside the house. I did see ONE woman standing in Joan’s doorway, while Joan was standing outside the doorway, while my husband and I were on the sidewalk in front of the house. After I talked to my husband, who agreed to return home, I went across the street where Joan’s husband Colby Bell was putting things in his car. As I went to talk to him, it was JOAN who started the screaming, at her husband Colby — that he was not to talk to me. Joan then yelled at MY husband, who was walking down the street away from Joan’s house, that he should not be listening to me and he better leave me. It was at THIS point that I did yell back at Joan to shut up, and just because she can rule over HER husband, she wasn’t going to rule over mine, nor me. It was at this point, two of her friends came out of the house and they were looking at disgust at Joan. I then left and walked down the street to join my husband.
“Brenda didn’t abide by the Order. She continued telephoning me at Brian’s house. Four months of harassment followed. … I had just come home from filing yet another harassment charge against Brenda in a different town jurisdiction.”
Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, contradictory statement by Joan.
I did abide by the Order. I did not telephone Brian’s house, as I did not know where he lived, nor the phone number. I did not harass Joan for four months. No additional harassment charges were filed against me in 1993. The contradiction and proof of this lie: if I were in violation of the restraining order, and she did indeed file additional harassment charges against me, I would have been placed under arrest. This did NOT happen.
“The harassment charges against Brenda were dropped.”
Lie. There were no additional harassment charges against me.
Joan describes an event in early December 1993 of a child abuse call that was placed against her and the call also implicated my husband. “It was obvious that Brenda made this ‘anonymous’ report.”
Lie, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. The child abuse call was made on December 22, 1994. The caller identified themselves as Ruth Sippel and named my husband. It is NOT obvious that I made this call. What IS obvious is that if I were going to make a prank child abuse call, I would NOT use my real name, nor name my husband and risk him getting into trouble. See DOC 03, Joan’s letter to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, dated December 31, 1994, which lists the correct date of the child abuse call, which was December 22, 1994. In this letter, Joan states: “We know this report was made by Ruth.” How could she “know?” The matter had just begun it’s investigation. Also Joan states, regarding the court case in 1993 over the telephone calls and she was granted the six months restraining order: “Ruth was found guilty and placed on six months probation.” Here we see ABSOLUTE PROOF of Joan’s history of lying to people about me. And to official people in law enforcement and child protective services!
Page 329 time frame – December 1993 to about March 1994
“What followed the allegations of child abuse and neglect were three months of court dates waiting for the first charges to be cleared.”
Lies. There were NO court dates between Joan and I during these months. See DOC 10, of my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.
Page 329-330 time frame – early 1994
“Our only recourse was to seek and Order of Protection. Three months of court dates followed. I brought my children to court as they were part of the case and needed to see for themselves just what was going on.”
Lie, there were no court dates between Joan and myself in 1994.
Admission to possible child abuse – Joan does not say that her children were required to be in court, she says she BROUGHT them to a court case between adults. In 1994, her children were aged 10 and 7. Why would anyone drag young children to court to witness this?
Pages 329 –330 time frame in the book – early 1994
“Three months of court dates followed.”
Lies, mixing up years of court dates. The court case Joan is referring here happened in 1995, the case that I brought against her, appearing before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing.
“The court broke for lunch. The room full of people went to the lobby. My ten-year old son and seven year old daughter went up to the drinking fountain. I was at their side. Aunt Brenda came up to them and yelled, “You see what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you in court to see your poor Aunt go through this.”
Lie. This never happened. NEVER. We were NEVER in court in 1994. At no time did I EVER disrespect her children. Telling sign this is a lie (despite the actual court documents): Joan does not say she approached a court bailiff, the prosecutor, judge or any one of many sheriff’s deputies that are always standing on guard to prevent these kinds of altercations.
“Mom and I were granted an Order of Protection against Brenda in the summer of 1994. It was good for one year.”
Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Again, refer to DOC 10, my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.
Also, how could Joan and her mother and her children attend three months of court case in early 1994, Joan and her mother obtain an Order of Protection against me in the summer of 1994, over a child abuse call that HAD NOT BEEN PLACED YET? The call was not made until December 22, 1994, and we have Joan’s letter to Albany (DOC 03) to prove this.
Also, nowhere in the book does Joan refer to the harassment charges I placed against her in 1995.
“Toward the end of May 1994 … my mother were … in the middle of ugly court dates against Brenda.”
Lie, as stated above, there were no court dates for any court case between Joan and me in 1994.
Pages 332- 333 – time frame 1994
Joan is describing the mix-up of her hospital bill. On page 333, she writes: “ A letter arrived a month later stating the error was attributed to a computer glitch and that my sister wasn’t involved. I wasn’t convinced. I called the head of the billing department and told him everything that was going on and that I wanted no further contact from Brenda.”
Admission of Joan’s invading Ruth’s privacy. Proof of Joan having delusions. Proof of Joan not accepting what is true. She made a complaint of computer hacking against me. My employer investigated her complaint. Found that I did not do it. COULD not do it, as I work 11pm to 7am and the computers on the nursing stations ARE NOT EVEN CONNECTED TO THE BILLING DEPARTMENT COMPUTERS. My employer told Joan I was innocent, but Joan refuses to believe it. She is so full of hate against me, that no matter what nice thing any one says about me – she will fly into a rage over it and will not accept it.
Page 333 – time frame in the book 1994
“A few days later, a padded manila envelope appeared on my front lawn. I picked it up. It was covered with a slimy greasy substance that I guessed to be cooking oil. … I was stupid enough to open it up. A note inside stated that ‘You, Joan, have been cut out of my life forever.’ Out tumbled photographs. … cut from ordinary 35 mm photos … they were photos of me, photos of my children. Since there was only one of my sisters living in Buffalo, I knew who had done this—-Brenda.”
Lies, mixing up calendar years of events. As I had already indicated in my narration of The Feud between Joan and myself in the beginning of this complaint, this envelope was the one that I had received from JOAN in the year of 1999. This is the one that I refused to accept, marked “return to sender,” but Joan had manipulated the return address zip code so that the envelope would not returned to her house, but come to my house. This was the envelope that I decided to return to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn. (Ruth’s note, November 30, 2011 – When I submitted this complaint, I made an error – I myself had mixed up a couple of events. My neighbor D. did have a car that leaked transmission fluid. At the time that John and I did not have a car. And he would take me grocery shopping – we would frequently have to stop to add transmission fluid, as I would have to a few years later, when I got a clunker car. I only realized my mistake a few months ago (July 2011) when I found a manilla folder that contained the actual letter that I wrote and then I realized my mistake. I’m human, just like everybody else. And when I make a mistake, I own up to it. Joan whines that her book is “to the best of her recollection.” But there is NO way that can be true – I can allow SOME forgetfulness – but to be saying we were in court when we weren’t – to say the court ruled this or that way, when it didn’t, to say that I was arrested, when I was not, to say that she herself was arrested, when she never was – is NOT forgetfulness – it is out and out LIES).
Also, I never sent “cut up” photos of her to her EVER. I did cut her pictures out of photos in my personal photo album, but I had thrown them in the garbage. She only knows of the “cut up” photos, because she had looked at my photo albums in the year 2003 and saw that she had been cut out of my personal photos. We see Joan in all her vindictive glory here, she herself sent me the manila envelope, to make sure she would get it back unopened, I had to resort to putting oil on it so she could not use the post office again in her harassment of me. Then she reports the wrong year of the event, then she takes an event that happened in another year, and pads up her hate campaign against me to say that I was the responsible for the envelope in the first place. AND sent her photographs in an envelope that came from her originally, and I returned to her UNOPENED!
Ms. Wheeler describes herself calling my cousin on the phone and screaming at her.
Admission of Ms. Wheeler harassing Gail.
Ms. Wheeler describes that Gail called the police. And that the Town of Eden, New York police called her on the phone. And then she was summoned into court for harassment.
This is true. Because Gail knew of the harassment that I was receiving from Ms. Wheeler and as she was going through a divorce, as well as battling cancer, she was not going to accept being harassed.
Ms. Wheeler describes her talking to her friend Carol who suggested to Joan to write me a letter using her return address. The letter I received was a hate letter informing me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.
Ms. Wheeler describes me as harassing Carol. (DOC 09)
Lies, twisting of facts, not reporting the facts as they happened.
Yes, I got a letter from Joan from that address. However, Carol did NOT give Joan permission to use her address. And this is a contradiction of Joan’s behavior. She does not want letters from me, but goes ahead and writes letters to me. When I received the letter from Carol’s house, I went to her house. She wasn’t home and the name on the mailbox was not Joan. I left a note listing my name and address and asked why a harassing letter from Joan came from her house to me. I returned to her house a few days later and Carol said that her and Joan had been friends, had a falling out, and no, she did not give permission for Joan to use her address. Carol said that by doing this, Joan was showing her anger at both me and her. Carol began harassment charges on Joan the next day. While I was at Carol’s house, she informed that Joan had made a death threat against me and the next day, I also began harassment charges against Joan. This was also the same month that the Town of Eden Police (and NOT Gail) filed harassment charges against Joan.
See DOCS 08 and 09 to see the hate mail that I was receiving from Joan. 09 was the one that came with Carol’s return address and we see again Joan’s history of lying about the outcome of the court cases. She once again states that I was placed on six months probation, which I was not.
Ms. Wheeler says that she was arrested three times in one month due to these three harassment charges.
Lies. She was not arrested. She was “summoned” to appear in court. An arrest warrant would have been issued if she did not appear in court. Since she did appear for all three of these harassment charges, she was not arrested. Please see accompanying documentation that she was “summoned” into Family Court due to my harassment charge against her. (document number 08).
Page 364 time frame 1999
Ms. Wheeler describes the judge (a male) as not letting me talk and that he kept cutting me off, and that me and my best friend sat directly in front of her and her mother. She also says that I was waving around a document from the Buffalo Police Academy. She does say that in the court case between me and her, I was given a one-year Order of Protection against her.
Lies. Combining two different court cases. Contradictory behavior of the judge as reported by Joan.
The court case that the judge dismissed my harassment charges against Joan was in 1995. It was Judge Margaret Anderson who dismissed the charges saying “sisters should get along.” Judge Anderson did let me speak, and yes, I was not pleased with her decision, but I accepted it. I did not have the document from the Buffalo Police Academy until 1998, where I attended a course there. (DOC 07). A pre-requisite would be a thorough background check on me conducted by the Buffalo Police Department showing that I have a clean record. Which I had, despite Joan saying on page 316 that I was placed under arrest. Part of my harassment charge against Ms. Wheeler was her slandering me by saying that I had an arrest record.
The court case in 1999 was in Family Court, under Judge Margaret Szczur, who also let me speak, and granted me an Order of Protection against Ms. Wheeler for the duration of one year. I did show the certificate of my graduation from the Academy as proof that I did indeed have a clean record. I did not wave it around, I handed it to the judge. The course was in conjunction with my work with the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, under the supervision of then Police Commissioner Rocco Diina, and my city councilman __ . Incidentally, it was Councilman ____ who suggested to me that I institute harassment charges against Joan through Family Court.
If the judge would not let me speak and present my case, why then would she grant me the Order of Protection against Joan.
Ms. Wheeler describes myself and my best friend as loudly proclaiming in the court that we were superior to her because we took the police course.
Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Mixing up 2 different court cases. My friend did not take the course with me. My friend was not in the court in this case either. The date she accompanied me was in April 1995. As I did not attend the Academy until 1998, this could not have happened. At no time during the three court cases that I was involved in with Ms. Wheeler did I show any disrespect to any judge or court official, nor did I act out in court.
Ms. Wheeler describes me as throwing computer discs at her in the courtroom. She says her manuscript was on the hard drive of the computer and “it was clear that Brenda downloaded the files.”
Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. When I was at her friend Carol’s house, Carol had told me that she had received as a gift, an old computer from Joan.. She had called Joan a week prior to come and take it back. Joan refused. Carol put it out on her back porch. She informed Joan that it was going in the garbage. When I came to her house, Carol gave it to me, as it was now her property and she could do what she wanted with it. She also gave me a box that contained computer discs. I brought them with me to the court and when Joan’s lawyer approached me to ask me a question, I gave the discs to him to give to Joan, as they were labeled as chapters of her book. I had not looked at the discs. Her manuscript was not on the hard drive of the computer, but on separate computer discs. And how can anyone determine if someone downloaded files by simply looking at a disc?
As to me throwing things in a court room, if I had thrown computer discs at her in the court room, I would have been arrested for contempt of court. This did not happen, because I never disrespected the court, nor Joan.
Part 2 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace
Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford
“We got drunk one night…Brenda picked up the phone…we were drinking and got silly. Brenda panicked…didn’t know what to do. “ “I remember that phone call, I didn’t know anyone by the name of Brenda. I heard giggles and the phone went dead.”
I, Ruth called Joan at 1:30pm from Gert’s workplace, a dentist’s office, during a non-patient day, we knew Joan’s name, but not her address. I began calling Wheelers in the phone book. When Joan answered, I did not give my name at all. I did ask for Joan, did ask where she was at bowling the previous night. Joan asked what number did I want, I repeated her number but changed the last digit, Joan told me I had the wrong number, I apologized, said goodbye and ended the call. I was NOT drunk, nor panicky.
Page 100 – time frame – 1974
“Two days before I left for college, Brenda took me to meet Aunt Doris…she lived 75 miles from Buffalo.”
I, Ruth, did not know how to drive in 1974, did not learn to drive until 1976.
Page 174 time frame 1978
“I had Momma’s wedding dress for only four weeks. … my anger at my sisters and father got the better of me. I drove to Brenda’s house. I threw it (the dress) at her.”
I loaned Ms. Wheeler the dress for the purpose of her having it cleaned and some minor sewing repairs done in the year 1978. She did not return it to me until late 1983, after many pleadings from me to return it. I finally had to ask my father to intervene. Ms. Wheeler brought the dress to my father’s house where I picked it up. The cleaning and repairs were never done.
Page 186 time frame 1980,
Ms. Wheeler wanted to go public with her adoption story.
“Brenda called and said she was uncomfortable.”
Lie. In 1980 or 1981, I accompanied Ms. Wheeler to WGRZ television studios to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman on our separation and reunion.
“I didn’t want to live in a trailer park to become trailer trash.”
Bigotry, hate language, value judgment on people who live in trailer parks.
Ms. Wheeler is quoting my father about my father’s second wife, being taken in an ambulance to the psych center. Supposedly he told Ms. Wheeler the arrangements were made for the ambulance to come around noon on a school day, and we kids were coming home for lunch.
“The ambulance attendants took her away in front of the kids.”
The arrangements that were made were that we kids were picked up at school by social workers and taken to the foster home, so that WE WOULD NOT SEE OUR STEPMOTHER TAKEN AWAY SCREAMING IN AN AMBULANCE. We kids NEVER witnessed this. My father would NOT have made arrangements for this to occur as we were coming home from lunch, as he protected us.
Page 270 time frame 1988
Ms. Wheeler describes in 3 paragraphs a funeral of my maternal aunt. She says that her adoptive mother attended the funeral. Ms. Wheeler describes my maternal uncle snubbing my father at the funeral and a conversation in the car with my father reminiscing about my mother, “I lost my wife and that man still blames me. How could I stop her from dying?” Then Ms. Wheeler quotes her adoptive mother as giving sage advice to my father about life and dying.
I was at the funeral. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did NOT attend the funeral. My uncle may have snubbed my father, they did not get along. I was in the car. My father did NOT say this about my mother. My father very rarely talks about my mother. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did not give advice to my father in the car, as she was not there.
Pages 276, 277, 278
Ms. Wheeler describes a fictitious account of her friend Dr. Rene Hoksbergen coming to my house and talking to me about adoption. In these pages, Ms. Wheeler describes me and my husband as exchanging dirty looks, portrays me as a wild-woman, jumping up and down, waving my arms in the air, screaming at Dr. Hoksbergen and Ms. Wheeler. She also describes Dr. Hoksbergen lecturing me as though I were a child.
Dr. Hoksbergen NEVER came to my house, and this incident NEVER took place.
“Oh Brenda,” I said, casting a disgusted look at her. “You’re just pissed off because you were trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. Just because you were using a fertility clinic to get pregnant with your partner, something I didn’t know when I wrote my article against sperm donors, doesn’t mean what I wrote is directed at you.”
Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Invasion of privacy of Ruth Sippel Pace. (what does my not getting pregnant have to do with Joan’s life?) Hate language, insensitivity to infertile women, as well as a blatant lie. This speech never happened. But, I was not pissed off because I couldn’t get pregnant. Hurt, yes. Also I never went to a fertility clinic. I never objected to any article that Ms. Wheeler wrote about sperm donors.
Pages 296, 297, 298 time frame 1992
Ms. Wheeler describes a scene at a Fourth of July outing in a local park with my father, my brother, my sister Gert McQueen and myself, where Gert and I are supposedly mocking her.
“Heh, she’s useless.” My sisters said sarcastically.
“Yes,” my father continued. “and I want you to know that we want you, Joan, to stop living in the past. You don’t need to be writing about adoption in the newspaper. You should find something worthwhile to do with your life. Taking care of children and writing aren’t getting the bills paid. Look at the others. They’ve done things with their lives. Where are you?”
Ms. Wheeler continues with a description of insults from Gert and “more giggling.”
This is all totally untrue. Ms. Wheeler continues to the middle of page 298 with the description of this totally fictitious scenario. Ms. Wheeler describes a get-together at my father’s house that she was not invited to. There was no get-together, as my stepmother was at her daughter’s house celebrating her grand-daughters third birthday. Ms. Wheeler knew about this party as she was complaining about it to me on the phone the day before.
Pages 299, 300
Ms. Wheeler describes a conversation that she had with her mother about the fictitious scene on pages 296-298.
Character assassination of Leonard Sippel, (my father) Gert McQueen and Ruth Sippel Pace
I did not witness such a conversation, but it could not have happened has the “ridiculing” of Joan never occurred. Ms. Wheeler describes her mother as saying that we sisters started the family gathering in the park. In reality, my dance troupe was booked as performers for the Friendship Festival months in advance by our leader, M. W. with the Buffalo and Erie County Arts Council and The Buffalo Parks Department. As a coincidence, my brother came to town to visit. It was our father who suggested we meet at the park for a small reunion. My neice’s third birthday party was also scheduled with no thought of insulting Joan, her mother, or her husband.
“…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 1992.”
Ms. Wheeler, in italics, presents a narrative that is attributed to have been written by Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.
Lies; character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.
We never wrote harassing letters to Ms. Wheeler.
The letter that Ms. Wheeler attributes to us was never written by any of us three sisters. We believe that Ms. Wheeler wrote this narrative to make it seem that we three sisters “ganged up” on her.
“Why did they attack my work in the Adoption Reform Movement?”
Lie. We never attacked her work in any adoption reform movement.
Ms. Wheeler continues, in italics, her false narrative of a letter supposedly written by us three sisters. — “My sisters included copies of the long, handwritten letters they wrote to the nine adoption reform movement organizations in the United States at the time. My sisters slandered me in an attempt to ruin my credibility as an advocate for adoption reform.”
Out of desperation, I called one adoption leader, Joe Soll, Director of the Council of Equal Rights in Adoption in New York City. Yes, he received my sister’s hateful letters.”
Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, Ruth Sippel Pace and Joe Soll.
In an email exchange in May 2010 between Gert McQueen and Joe Soll, Mr. Soll denies ever receiving: 1. a letter from any or all of us sisters; 2. a telephone call from Ms. Wheeler regarding this letter. In his email, Mr. Soll says that what is written about him in the book is “patently false.”
“Harassment from my three older sisters continued… Hate mail arrived at my house…” Ms. Wheeler quotes her ex-husband as saying to her “You’re crazy just like your sisters.”
Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace
We sisters did not send harassing hate mail to her.
“My sisters telephone my house morning, noon and night and in the middle of the night when most people are asleep. My young children often answered the phone and I heard my sisters – their aunts – yelling obscenities at them.”
Lies. We did not call her house. We did not yell obscenities at her children.
Page 312, 313
Ms. Wheeler lists obscene language and attributes this language to us.
“You f.. B….” “You w….” “You a….. . You f…. c….” “P… on you, you m…-f…”
Lies. Obscene and pornographic language.
Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”
Returning to the book, Ms. Wheeler then writes “I sent a similar letter to my sisters. I added that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”
Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Slander of Ruth Sippel Pace to her brother.
The letter that I received from Ms. Wheeler was not nice. It was to accuse me of harassing her that her son saw me drive past their house. Which was impossible, because I did not have a car at that time. A few days later I got another letter from Joan. It was to inform me, falsely, that my husband had gotten the next-door neighbor pregnant. – The house was vacant. See DOCS 08 and 09. Read those letters and see if you can find the sentence “whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”
Page 359, 360
“My sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls. Brenda and her best friend, a tough streetwise woman from the West Side, got in on the act and telephoned my mother, yelling obscenities…Mom held the phone to her ear and mind. I’d hear Brenda’s voice and her best friend’s voice, shouting at us. … “A year of hate mail followed. The envelopes had disguised handwriting and no return address so the police couldn’t trace the mail.”
Lies. Character assassination of Ruth’s friend.
No phone calls were made by me or my friend to Joan or her mother. No hate mail was sent to Joan.
Ms. Wheeler describes a scene in a grocery store where my friend accosted her and swore at her.
Lies, obscene language. My girlfriend lived on the East Side of Buffalo, Ms. Wheeler lives in a northern suburb of Buffalo, where she does her grocery shopping. My friend did not have a car, and wouldn’t drive 5 or 6 miles to a grocery store, when there was one less than a mile from her house. Telling sign this is a lie: Ms. Wheeler does not say that she went to a security guard at the store, or even called the police.
Ms. Wheeler involves my cousin Gail, who at the time was battling cancer and going through a divorce. Ms. Wheeler describes taking her car to be repaired and the repair person was one of my cousins, who I had not seen for more than 20 years. Ms. Wheeler says “exactly 10 days later, an anonymous envelope … arrived in the mail….I knew it was Brenda. (the envelope supposedly contained an defaced article about adoption reform).
Lies. I did not send her any envelope with any article on adoption reform.
Page 360, 361
Joan describes her sending me a letter begging me to stop bothering her and then I called her on the phone..
Lies. I did not receive any letter from Joan at this time, nor did I call her.
Page 365, 366 time frame 1999
Ms. Wheeler describes a falling out she had with my step aunt and uncle and attributes that falling out to me gossiping about her.
Lies, I had not seen, nor spoken to my step aunt and uncle since about the early 1980’s.
Ms. Wheeler describes herself and her mother being “barraged by harassing phone calls. I recognized the voices as being Brenda and her best friend…”
Lies, my friend and I did not call her house.
Ms. Wheeler shows a photocopy of a letter she received in the mail that contains pornographic language. She accuses me of sending this to her. It is not my handwriting. She also blames my friend. Further she states “their language reflected the lifestyles they had chosen.”
Lies, slander. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace and her freind Hate language directed towards Ruth Sippel Pace and her friend. My lifestyle includes a 38 year career as a Patient Care Associate/Nurse Aide at Buffalo General Hospital; organizer and leader of a block club on my street; member of the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, which entailed meetings with local elected officials and police officers; being a VIABLE volunteer with the Buffalo Police Department; I am a former professional Middle Eastern Dancer, former board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for Middle Eastern dancers, and Buffalo and Erie Arts Council. In my job I served on various committees designed to improve delivering quality patient care; I have worked in the following departments in my long career at the hospital: Medical Intensive Care Unit, Respiratory Care Unit, Hospice Unit, Kidney Transplant Unit, as well as various medical/surgical units. Due to my work as a neighborhood activist, I organized a rodent containment petition from the 4 streets surrounding my home, (of which I own, one mortgage having been completely paid off, a second mortgage obtained to replace roof), delivering the petition to the mayor of Buffalo, NY. In 1997 when the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs obtained an empty storefront to use as their offices, my husband and I volunteered many hours to provide manual labor, such as installing drywall, painting walls and furniture. As members of the Coalition, I contributed to the monthly newsletter, and helped with the production and distribution of the newsletters, and attended monthly meetings of the Coalition, and did volunteer work at the Coalition Carnival.
I have attended meetings of the Buffalo Common Council, The Niagara Frontier Transit Authority (to help improve public transportation in Buffalo and the surrounding area), organized neighborhood clean-up drives, block parties on National Night Out. Because of much of my civic volunteering, I have been urged by many people to enter local politics. I include in my personal friends, the director of a well known local art center, several local elected officials, two well-known noted cardiologists, one internal medicine physician, one urologist and two other doctors who I have known since their days as interns in the hospital. I maintain friendships with many registered nurses and other nurses aides. I also trained as a union steward in my local labor union representing nurses aides: SEIU 1199, but eventually turned down the appointment of union steward. This does not deter many nurses aides, as well as registered nurses to approach me on advice on our union contract.
For the past 10 years, I also have supervised the production of a bi-monthly newsletter of a local Star Trek fan club, of which two years ago, I became the head of. For this group, I have helped organize local Star Trek conventions and manned tables at conventions, greeting fans and Star Trek celebrities alike. I have formed several personal friendships with some Star Trek celebrities. I will not “name-drop” here, and I only mention my friendships with these celebrities, local politicians and health care professionals to point out that I am far from the foul-mouthed ghetto trash that Ms. Wheeler portrays me as in her book.
My friend has trained as para-legal and also has had many accomplishments in her life. We are highly insulted to have been labeled as foul-mouthed, ghetto trash.
Ms. Wheeler describes a scene that happened during my cousin Gail’s wake. She alleges that “Dad asked me to make peace Brenda. I approached Brenda with an outstretched hand to shake her hand. ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I said. Brenda ran away from me, waving her arms in the air. Through her tears she managed to flash an intense angry glare at me.”
Lie. Ms. Wheeler did approach me at the wake, calling my name. I ignored her, trying to keep the peace. She called me again. I turned and said “What?” Ms. Wheeler said, “I’m sorry, I know how much Gail meant to you.” I put my hand up to stop her. She was 10 feet away from me. I told her to just leave me alone. I burst into tears and did run out of the funeral home, and my husband and my father both followed me outside. My husband held me and my father said “Joan should not have said anything to you. I will talk to her.” I told my father, “Tell her to leave me alone. Just tell her to leave me alone.”
Ms. Wheeler describes looking at my personal photo albums that I brought to Arizona to attend my brother’s funeral. She recognizes where I had cut her pictures out of my personal photo album.
This is the basis of her accusation that I had sent her those pictures. I had not – I had thrown the pictures in the garbage.
Ms. Wheeler describes another guest at my brother’s house as objecting to my having my sibling’s birth certificates in my personal photo album. Ms. Wheeler has woman saying she is a government worker and is telling me that I have these birth certificates illegally.
Lies. There was no guest at my brother’s house who was a government worker. I obtained my siblings birth certificate legally at Buffalo City Hall by showing proper identification and paying a fee of $35.00 for each birth certificate. As I noted in my introduction, throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouth, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. This is one example. Ms. Wheeler cannot obtain HER original birth certificate because she doesn’t have proper identification as a SIPPEL. Therefore she is angry because I do have the proper credentials to obtain SIPPEL birth certificates. To lend credence to her argument that I have the documents illegally, she picks another guest at the house and like a ventriloquist, she writes what she thinks the guest will look good saying in the book.
The information I was gathering is for the purpose of having a complete family tree. The birth certificates are kept together with my mother’s death certificate. This information is that which used to be included in pages of a family’s bible. This sort of information gathering on families has been done for centuries. Incidentally, NO ONE in the family has objected to my having my siblings birth certificates. My father looked at my photo album while in Arizona, as well as my sister-in-law and my brother’s son. They all saw the birth certificate of my brother, and no one had any objection.
Ms. Wheeler continues her rant about my having my siblings birth certificates and notes that I did not have my younger half-brother’s birth certificate in my photo album. She states “I made a mental note of the deeper meaning in Brenda’s chopped up photo album. This was her attempt to make sense out of her…severed family life.”
Lie, personal misguided interpretation of someone else’s thoughts. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.
How does Ms. Wheeler know what is in my thoughts? I object to having someone publishing their interpretations of my thought processes published in a book. The reason my younger brother’s birth certificate was not in my photo album was because I had not obtained it at that time, due to time and financial restraints. I did obtain it a few years later and it is in my photo album right now. As to the “chopping up” of my photo album, I had just begun in the year 2002 to obtain the documents and actually organizing my photos. They were in boxes, and now were in albums. And my photo albums are even more chopped up now – I have scanned into my computer a full album’s worth of photos, documents and greeting cards into my computer. And those that I have not given away, or put away to be given to other family members, have been shredded and destroyed. I have done all the work up to the year 1970. If Ms. Wheeler saw my photo albums today with no physical evidence of anything prior to 1970, she would put forth the misguided diagnosis that I have tried to destroy my life prior to 1970. Ms. Wheeler did not ask me WHY my photo album was “chopped up” to include the true reason as to why some things were missing from the album, in her book and she certainly did not obtain my permission to put her interpretations of my life and thoughts into her book. I fail to see what MY goal of scanning into my computer a complete family tree and history of our family has to do with HER adoption and adoption reform work.
Ms. Wheeler describes me as looking at a picture of her son and giving a disgusted grunt and turning away from his picture.
Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.
I looked at the picture, nodded, and said, “Mmm.” I was trying to keep the peace by remaining silent. And this is also indicative of Ms. Wheeler’s contradictory attitude towards my thoughts and words and behaviors. If I do or say something regarding her or her children, husband or adoptive mother, or anyone else for that matter, she jumps on me. If I don’t say anything, thinking that by remaining silent I will keep the peace, Ms. Wheeler interprets my silence as haughtiness or a refusal to acknowledge her presence. If I acknowledge her presence, she psycho-analyzes my words and deeds and always finds me in the wrong. In Ms. Wheeler’s eyes, I am damned if I do anything and damned if I don’t do anything. Read the book you published – you will see almost every other page is an attack on Brenda. “Brenda did this, Brenda did that. Brenda DIDN’T do this, Brenda DIDN’T do that.” I can’t win no matter what I do or don’t do. Her hatred of me jumps right off the pages of this book.
Ms. Wheeler describes my husband (Larry in the book) as telling her that I found her “children’s photos in his wallet and yelled at him that she didn’t want him to have anything to do with me and that included cutting off ties with my children.’
Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.
Ms. Wheeler has no way of knowing of any personal conversation I had my husband. But I did tell him that I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated my request on July 31, 1993, when he went to her house to help the family move. She over heard me say this to him, and twists the truth around to make me look as though I were a spying shrew, hen-pecking my husband.
I don’t look in my husband’s wallet. I did know of the pictures of Ms. Wheeler’s children in his wallet, because my husband showed them to me. And they are still there. I have scanned into my computer those photos only about six months ago, and my husband returned the pictures to his wallet in front of me. As to the subject of “chopping up” photos, Ms. Wheeler needs to answer for her own crime, to which she admits to in the book on page 358:
“once a month or so, I scrambled through the house, bagging up my children’s personal belongings, toys, books, gifts, even Russian nesting dolls I’d given my daughter – and threw them away….During these rages I screamed at my children as if I hated them.”
And she told a cousin of ours two years ago that she her own children’s photos, toys, school work, art work, IN FRONT OF HER OWN CHILDREN. (of course she didn’t put that in the book). If her narration in the book of me yelling at my husband for him having photos of her husband or cutting her out of my personal photo album is supposed to be a crime, she is way more guilty than I ever could be. Again, we see where Brenda (supposedly) does (almost) the same thing that Ms. Wheeler does, and should burn in hell for it, whereas Ms. Wheeler is an angel.
Ms. Wheeler describes me as hugging her at the side of our brother’s casket. “We hugged as we sobbed. But her arm dropped as suddenly as she reached out. That would be the last hint of love between us.”
Half Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace
I did reach out to her. She was standing to my right. I did reach out with my right arm and put it over her shoulder and drew her to me. I do not recall how long I held her. I was grieving my brother and naturally reached out to my sister. Again we see Ms. Wheeler’s psycho-analyzing my every move. If I hung on to her too long, I suppose she would say that I was accepting her back into my life, which I don’t want. I only wanted to comfort her over the death of our brother. In simply reaching out to her in my grief, I showed that I didn’t hate her. And this was only 3 weeks after my meltdown at my cousin Gail’s funeral.
Ms. Wheeler describes an email exchange between regarding actions on a family photo web site I was building.
“Then I made the mistake of bringing up the past in a private email to Brenda. She flew into a rage, wrote me back saying the website was no place to discuss family dirty laundry, even though I didn’t post my email on the website. … I responded by terminating the email account I opened just for communicating with Brenda.”
Lies. Twisting of the facts.
In 2003, I did build a website. At our brother’s house in Arizona, Ms. Wheeler and I exchanged emails. I needed her email to send an invitation to her to the website. In order to be a member of the website, members DID have to provide the website with their email. Everything was going fine from October 2003 to December 2003. Ms. Wheeler posted a photograph that had my two oldest sisters as children with Santa Claus. Ms. Wheeler had the wrong year on it. I corrected the year. Also moved the photo to the proper forum. As I knew the correct year and as the owner of the site, I had the right to do this. In January 2004, it was Ms. Wheeler who flew into a rage because I had “tampered” with her photo, and accused me of plotting against her. At this time, I did not own a computer of my own. I was doing all online work on public computers. When Ms. Wheeler sent the angry email to me, I was sick for a week and not able to get to a computer. The email got buried. I saw it in April 2004, and could not believe the nonsense. For three months, we were getting along, building a family photo website, (which should dispel any erroneous conclusions that I was trying to make sense out of my severed life, as she puts forth on page 382. (see what I mean about her contradictory interpretations of me? And how she contradicts herself in her own book?). I did answer her email as soon as I saw it. I asked her why was she bringing up the past – why can’t we just go forward? I never said anything about posting family dirty laundry on the website or in my email – (I still have the actual email exchange that proves what she said to me, and my response).
Ms. Wheeler quotes my father as saying “Education, that’s what I needed….if I had more education, I would have kept you. … if I had education, none of this would have happened. If someone would have told me how to keep you.“
Lies. Character assassination of Leonard Sippel
Although I was not present to hear this conversation, I know my father would not, COULD not have said this. My father WAS educated. He worked as a civil engineer/draftsman in Buffalo’s City Hall in the Streets Department. (Ms. Wheeler portrays him as an uneducated laborer, working as a machinist in the book). Ms. Wheeler is insinuating here that if my father was better educated he would not have given her up for adoption. It wouldn’t have mattered. The bare fact is that whatever level of education my father had, whatever occupation he had, he still would have had to go to work everyday to earn money to support his family. He could not do this with an infant. There were no daycare centers in 1956, nor welfare system as we have today. Nor was any family member able to help out. My father’s hands were tied. It is Ms. Wheeler’s continual refusal to face these facts that has her once again, putting words into people’s mouths to support her delusions and fantasies.
Ms. Wheeler discusses her mother sharing photographs of her with her aunts and says: “…my aunts gave these pictures to my natural mother’s sister.”
Lie. My aunt Catherine had only ONE photograph of Joan, taken of her First Holy Communion.
“…my sisters and brother suffered serious, extended childhood trauma. These facts resulted in them imposing trauma on me…”
Lies; speculation on MY childhood experiences; character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Leonard Sippel Jr.
These are NOT facts, these are Ms. Wheeler’s statements due to her personal faulty interpretation of our childhood, of which she did not share. Ms. Wheeler is not trained as a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or any where in the medical field. She has a degree in social work, but as she has never worked as such, she has no experience in the field. Also, I was never interviewed by a qualified child psychologist (much less Ms. Wheeler) in a medical or similar setting about my childhood. What are Ms. Wheeler’s qualifications to pronounce judgment on MY mental health, my childhood, my life experiences? Or my siblings? And she has no right to publish her OPINIONS on this matter concerning me or my family. I would suggest anyone reading this paragraph read again my life accomplishments, (listed above) and consider my lack of any substance abuse, criminal record or any other anti-social behavior. Read The Book and read Ms. Wheeler’s own admissions of her anti-social behavior, alcoholism, thoughts and threats of suicide.
Ms. Wheeler is describing my father (her natural father)
“Poor, advanced to working class 1950’s, advanced to middle-middle class in 1970’s.”
Lies, character assassination of Leonard Sippel
Ms. Wheeler does NOT portray the true facts about her own natural father, my father.
My father started work for the City of Buffalo in Street Paving Department as a civil-engineer/draftsman on July 20, 1953 and maintained that position until his retirement on September 17, 1988. From 1965 to 1970, he also maintained a part time second job as salesman at Sears. In 1965, he bought a house, the first in his family to own property. He also had 4 teenagers at home, which in the 1960’s, as well as today, is an expensive obligation. Kids and houses are NOT cheap. My father married his third wife in October 1970, and after having a child with him (along with her two daughters from a previous marriage), went back to work as a nurse’s aide in 1972. I was also employed as a nurse’s aide and lived at home and helped take care of the children. The reason my father “advanced to middle-middle class in the 1970’s was because for the first time in his life, he was a member of a two-income family (actually three-income, when I was there 1972 – 1974). My father sold his house in 1975 and took a spacious apartment. The rent was cheaper than the mortgage and all the expenses related to owning a house. This also helped his financial status.
Ms. Wheeler is discussing my father’s second wife.
“How this step-mother was removed from the home, in front of her son and step-children was a form of cruelty to her and emotional trauma to the children. Witnessing their mother and step-mother being carried away in a straight-jacket had lasting effects on them.”
Lies. We children NEVER witnessed this. I myself did not learn of her being taken away in a straight jacket until about 15 years when my sister Gert told me about it. What happened was – my stepmother was having severe mental problems. My father told me once that she was examined by a doctor and it was decided that she should be placed in the psychiatric hospital in Buffalo. He told me that it was all arranged and the day she was placed there, social workers came to our school and picked up us children and took us to the foster home (Gert and Kathy) and the orphanage (me and my brothers). My father was with me and my brothers – I remember him holding my hand as we entered the orphanage run by the Catholic nuns and the huge statue of St. Joseph welcoming us. Gert was about 12 at the time. She told me about 15 years ago, that when she was about 17 or 18, she went back to our old neighborhood to visit some old friends and the mother of one of our childhood friends (who lived across the street from us) told her of the day that our step-mother was placed in the ambulance, in a straight jacket, and she was screaming. All the neighbors witnessed it and they all said it was sad, but were glad that we children were not around to see it. Even the times that my stepmother came home from the psych center and me and my brothers came home from the orphanage, our landlord, landlady, and neighbors NEVER told us what happened. As I said, I myself never knew about it until about 15 years ago (c 1995), much less witnessed it in 1959. Ms. Wheeler had been adopted out of our family in 1956, her family moved to Tonawanda, New York and was not there.
Page 529, 530, 531, 532
Ms. Wheeler again is accusing me and my sisters of harassing her.
(529) “…their joint letter writing campaign after our family reunion in 1992. The following year they wrote lengthy letters to the major adoption reform organizations to tell them what an asshole I was.” (530) “…looking back, now I can see they are tortured souls.” (531) “Each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about. … They chose to harass and mock me, so I wrote about it.” “Harassing my husband…Calling our home and yelling obscenities at the our young children. … Calling the home of my boyfriend…. Calling the Child Abuse Hotline and accusing my then 80 year old mother, and me, of sexual abuse.”
All lies. Slander, threats.
Many of these lies have already been addressed. But now is added this new statement that each one of her sisters have something to hide. This implies a threat. I have no idea to what Ms. Wheeler is alluding to here. I have nothing to hide. As I stated above: I do not engage in criminal or anti-social behavior, do not abuse substances (I barely drink), I have had a long career as a health-care worker (38 years with the same employer), and have been involved in the performing arts and as a neighborhood activist. When I took a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, a background check was done on me, and nothing showed up. So just what is my secret that Joan Wheeler thinks she has over me?
“I wrote about my sisters, and anyone else, at the point where our lives intersected.”
Lie. Falsely writing about me and my siblings witnessing my siblings witnessing our step-mother being placed in an ambulance is not a point where our lives intersected. As I stated above, Ms. Wheeler was adopted out of our family in 1956, and the event took place in 1959. Yes, the Wheelers did coincidentally lived one block over in 1956, then they moved three blocks away shortly after adopting her, and in 1957, they moved several miles away from us. Ms. Wheeler’s life did not intersect with ours until 1972, when I was placing phone calls to Wheelers in the phone book and her life did not fully intersect with ours until 1974 when we were physically reunited with her.
Even so, this “intersection” of our lives does not give her the right to violate our privacy and tell lies about us in this book.
Ms. Wheeler discusses our brother.
“Our sisters poisoned him against me for 11 years.”
We did not “gossip” to our brother about Joan. And how does she even know a time duration for this? It was Joan herself who was calling him, writing letters to him and trashing us to him and his wife that turned him against Joan. He quite naturally became disgusted with having his sisters trashed. Proof – Ms. Wheeler admits to trashing us to him on page 359, as I have already addressed this issue. I repeat it:
Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”
A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family November 27, 2011Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassing letters from Joan Wheeler, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity
The purpose of this blog is to refute the book “Forbidden Family” by Joan Wheeler. Several times, on several posts, since this blog’s inception in November 2009, I have addressed several key points of lies contained in the book, and told the truth behind those lies. The true stories were also chronicles of the harassments that I endured from Joan Wheeler over the course of many years.
Two months ago, I pulled out a manilla folder that contained some old paperwork concerning Joan Wheeler. I found several old letters. I have scanned into my computer these letters, and while watching episodes of my favorite soap opera, Young and the Restless, I have transcribed these letters.
This post contains the transcript of a two page letter that I wrote to the District Attorney, and the City Court of Buffalo, to be used in conjunction with the harassment charge that I brought about against Joan Wheeler in March 1995. Copies of this letter was sent to the police detective who handled Joan’s annoyance phone call case against me in 1993, This post also contains references to other posts and scans of court documents and links to those posts and documents. All links will open in a new window, so you will not lose this post while looking at the physcial evidence – actual court documents that prove without a shadow of a doubt that Joan Wheeler LIED in her book. She cannot gloss over these things by saying the book was her point of view or to the best of her recollection. She puts forth things like a fictious three month court battle in 1994 (never happened), I (and her) were arrested. Nope – nobody was arrested. She says she had more than one order of protection agains me – nope – there was only ONE and it was for six-months, then dismissed. She says I was placed on probation – nope – and she knows it. Her “point of view?” About court proceedings? Well, if her point of view of court rulings were different from what the court’s actual decisions were – then she is either DELUSIONAL or a filthy LIAR! Either way, it negates her claim that her book is “truthful.” – by the way, my next post will be my actual complaint to Trafford Publications, which contained the scans of the actual court documents which proved I was – never arrested, never sentanced to probation, there were NEVER any court proceedings in 1994, and the one and only Order of Protection Joan received against me (or anybody for that matter) was for six months. Because of these falsehoods – which proved Joan SLANDERED me, the book Forbidden Family was pulled from publication.
By the way – in her book, she says on page 316 that a restraining order was issued against me for one year. She doesn’t give the dates but I will – it was for August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. Joan lies about this. See the graphic here. She also says that on August 1, 1993, I violated that restraining order. No, the restraining order was not in effect until August 9. On page 325 she claims that I spent 4 months calling her on the phone. Wrong – never did that. On page 328-29 she says that I called in a false child abuse call on her in early December 1993.- She then says on page 329 that three months of court battles. So that would mean January, February and March 1994. But if the Order of Protection was in effect until February 1994, or as Joan says, until August 1994, I would have been in violation of the Order – right? She says on page 330 “Mom and I were granted an Order of Protection agains Brenda (me) in the summer of 1994. It was good for one year.”
WRONG – Because if an Order of Protection was already in effect from 1993 – they would have put cuffs on me, arrested me and thrown me in jail! THIS NEVER HAPPENED! In 1998, I attended a class at the Buffalo Police Academy to be a VIABLE volunteer for my work in my block club. A thorough background check was done on me – a pre-requisite for this class was to have a clean record – the background check showed NO ARREST RECORD, NO PROBATION RECORD – NO VIOLATION OF ANY ORDER OF PROTECTION.
To recap – in 1989 – 90 Joan stole hundreds of dollars from me. Despite numerous promises to repay me and then actually telling me that she would not – I never got my money back. Because I dared tell her off in January 1991, she began sending me harassing letters. In early 1993 I began receiving envelopes addressed to me, but inside were greeting cards from her kids to my fiance (now husband). But those cards had Joan’s handwriting on them. One letter came in June 1993 and I called her up. She said “hold on.” click. disconnected! I redialed – same thing! I redialed – again! WTF? I said to myself “fuck that crazy idiot.” The following week, my electricity was shut off. Joan owed me money. I called her up – same damn thing. I borrowed some money from neighbors then called Joan back and did swear at her. – admit it – you’d do the same thing. The bitch had a trace-trap on her line because she was getting annoyance calls – but not from me. BUT to make sure that I would get “caught” she sent the letter, knowing I’d call – and she played me AND the police. What could I do? I did call her – and she took me to court and she got a six-month order of protection against me. See the post “Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? “ You can see for yourself, how Joan forged a letter to make it look like her own 10 year old son wrote a letter to my fiance. But the envelope was addressed to me. And it did not say “Dear UNCLE John.” That lowlife Joan stooped that low to involve her own child to manipulate me, the phone company and the police.
In February of 1994, Joan began receiving hospital bills for a patient whose name was similar to hers.But in the book she said it was in May 1994. She called Buffalo General Hospital where I work and accused me of hacking into the computer system and tampering with her bill. She was told at that time it was impossible for me to access the hospital billing computers. Joan would not accept that. She then set out to force Buffalo General Hospital to believe that I was guilty of this. From about September 1994 up to April 1995, Joan placed almost daily phone calls to various people and departments in the hospital. I was never told about these calls until January 1995. I met with various people in the hospital and hospital administration. They had already told people to hang up when Joan called. But some of her calls did get through.
In the meantime, on December 22, 1994,a child abuse call was made against Joan Wheeler and my fiance (now husband) John. The caller identified themself as me. Joan then wrote a letter to New York State Child Abuse Center in Albany, New York (Dec 31, 1994) accusing me of this phone call. In her letter, she referenced the annoyance phone call court case, where she was given a 6 month order of protection against me. She lied to an official New York State agency by saying that I was sentanced to probation. (slander). This letter can be seen here.
Beginning in January 1995, Joan then proceeded to write slanderous letters about me to various elected officials, including the mayor of Buffalo. She then assembled copies of these letters and sent them to me in February 1995. When I received them, I saw one letter to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital. I spoke to him and he told me the full extent of what Joan had been doing – the almost daily phone calls, etc. See the letter she wrote to him here. And in this letter – she has the correct date and time duration of the six month order of protection of 1993 – but she lies to him and says that I was sentanced to probation. Also, this is a letter of complaint concerning a mixed-up bill – but she has private details of my childhood and my medical history. Yet she’s constantly screaming she wants HER privacy maintained, but she cares nothing about anybody else’s privacy! Hypocritical lying Bitch!
I called the police detective that handled Joan’s annoyance phone call case against me and he sent me a warrant card to fill out to start a harassment charge against Joan. When Joan received her summons into court, she wrote letters to my fiance and sent them to his mother’s house. She wrote letters to my future mother-in-law as well. In those letters, she pleaded with John to get me to drop the charges. She then urged him to leave me. She trashed me to my future mother in law, and asked her to appear in court against me. My future mother-in-law had never even met Joan. See the letter here.
Unfortunately, the judge assigned to my case, Margaret Anderson dismissed the charges, saying we were sisters and should get along. I filed a complaint with the district attorney’s office and they sent out an assistant district attorney to my house who yelled at me saying they had better things to do than fix a fight between sisters. She made me promise not to contact Joan. That promise was easily made by me, since I was not contacting Joan. But I did tell her that she needed to go tell Joan the same thing. She did so, and the phone calls to my employer stopped. I have always felt that I was victimized three times over these events: first by Joan, second by the court, and third by the district attorney. Sigh. But in any case, Joan stopped her harassment for three years. I had three years of peace until out of the blue, on May 25, 1998, Joan sent me a letter. The envelope was addressed to me and John, but the letter inside was for Gert, about a guy in South Carolina talking shit about Gert to Joan’s ex-husband. And this had WHAT to do with Ruth? I sent Joan a letter of no contact but then 9 months later, Joan contacts me AGAIN (February 1999) using a friend’s return address (without her knowledge) and informed me that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant. See post “Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998″– Never mind the district attorney told both of us not to contact each other. But Joan thinks she is above the law. This post also contains the scanned copy of the envelope, sent certified mail to me- that I sent back to her with my notes to her on it.
I just want to relate something that happened after Judge Margaret Anderson dismissed my case in 1995. Joan and her mother left the courtroom before me and my friend Francine. By the time we stepped on the escalator to go down, they had stepped off the escalator and turned and were almost directly below us to our right. And Joan looked up at us – and fucking smirked! That’s what made Francine yell “You fucking bitch – Ruth may not be able to touch you – but I sure will!” and started running down the escalator. I ran after her and stopped her – by this time Joan’s smirk had disappeared and she was truly scared. The security guards started coming. I said to Francine “let the bitch go. She’s not worth us going to jail over. She’ll get her just rewards one day for this shit.” – There were security guards, people, lawyers all over the place and heard me say that. And when I did, Joan put her head down said nothing, and kept on walking – and everybody saw it – they may not have known what was going on – but they knew – from the way Joan slunk out of there – who was the lady and who was the tramp.
Now how does Joan relate all this stuff in her book? First, she doesn’t say anything about the escalator scene but Oh my god, the lies in that filthy book! First, she gets the dates all mixed up. She claims that the child abuse call was made in 1993. – She says this because she wants to present it as though I made the call as revenge for her pressing charges for the annoyance calls. She then says that SHE pressed charges against me in 1994 and because it involved her children – she brought them to court. (Judge Anderson told the court NOT to bring children to court, but Joan brought them once – and they stayed outside in the hallway with an adult babysitter). Joan then says we had “three months of court battles.” – Wrong – in 1994, we were NOT in court at all. see this graphic from 1999 which shows there were only two court proceedings between Joan and me – 1993, and 1995. This research was done by the court itself. In 1995, we were in court for the charges that I pressed against her – three times – about 15 minutes in front of the judge each time. The first was when Joan was arraigned, and it was adjourned to a later date. When we appeared, the court ran out of time, the judge suggested mediation, which Joan refused. So we went in front of her a third time, where she dismissed it. In Joan’s book, she says that in 1994, she was granted a one-year order of protection against me. Wrong. The only order of protection she was granted was the one in 1993 for six months. see graphic here. Joan also says on page 316 that a warrant was issued for my arrest. This is false, a lie, slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. (and since I presented the actual court documents to Trafford Publications, who published Joan’s lying book, they saw the clear slander and libel that Joan committed against me – and because of that – they pulled her book from publication).
On page 314 Joan, in regards to the annoyance phone calls in 1993, says the detective asked her “Who is Brandy Sippel?” She then explains that Brandy is my cat. She then quotes the detective as saying “Well she’s got Brandy paying the bills in her residence! No kidding! The phone bill is in the name of Brandy Sippel!” Joan then states that she told him to be on the lookout for Francois. “He’s my sister’s other cat! Maybe he’s paying the gas bill!’
I blogged about this before. But I want to point out that Brandy was my dog. Joan put this little anecdote in her book to make me out to be someone who is an ass. No, my phone was listed as Brittany Sippel, to keep her from finding out my number. And the letter I found and have transcribed below proves it. And since my phone bill was under the name of Brittany, not my dog or my cat, for Joan to be stating in her book that the detective was laughing at me for doing so, she is putting words in the mouth of a Buffalo Police Detective. -n other words – she was LYING! And we have proof of it – in the letter of January 7, 1995 that she wrote to our niece Karen, she admits that she knows the phone number is under Brittany Sippel. see post written by Gert McQueen “Evidence of how Joan Wheeler sets people against each other and how she exploits and tries to enlist my daughter into committing crimes!”
In regards to her receiving a hospital bill for someone whose name was similar to hers, Joan writes about this on page 332. Previously she had said that I worked in the billing department at the hospital. WRONG! I have been employed as a nursing assistant (nurse’s aide) in the night shift since being hired at BGH on September 18, 1972. Except for 4 years (1976 – 1980) when I worked the day shift (7am – 3pm), I worked the night shift – 11 pm – 7am. Joan only puts down in her book that I work in the billing department to lend credence to her accusation of me.
Listen, everybody knows that companies put into place computer security systems – they have the ability to trace every, and I mean EVERY keystroke you do. Joan puts down in her book that she first received a mixed-up bill in May 1994, but in her letter to Buffalo General Hospital in 1995, she claims it was done in February 1994. So which date was it Joan? You really need to GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT if you’re writing a TRUTHFUL book! – Anyway, in 1994, she complains – they check into it. Because they have to. I totally understand that. It was attributed to a typing mistake and Joan was told this. Joan was told that the computer terminals on the nursing stations were not even connected to the billing computers. Joan didn’t believe them. Then in December 1994, another error occured. And Joan called again. They checked again. They found the error – it occured on December 14, 1994. When I met with Mr. P.S., he told me the exact date and time: December 14, 4pm. – Sorry, even if I worked the day shift (7am – 3pm) I would not be in the building at the time). Joan wasn’t going to have it. She was not going to accept the fact that I was innocent. She set out calling my job almost every day – like she had started a couple of months earlier. She was going to CHANGE the fact that I didn’t do it – and get me fired in the process. – I ask you – is this coming from a rational person? Joan needs to be f’king locked up in the psych ward.
So let us examine a couple of things. December 14, 1994 was on a Wednesday (google a 1994 calendar). The error occured at 4pm. The bill was printed out and placed in an envelope and put in a bin for outgoing mail. I don’t know if the bin went to the US Postal Service that day or the next. But at any rate, let’s give it until the following Monday, December 19, for it to arrive at Joan’s house. (I have direct deposit – I get my paystub in the mail only 2 days after payday – so the mail is really fast). Joan spends that day on the phone screaming and yelling at different people at the hospital about me. (I know this, because I spoke to several of them). Joan is yelling that I did it. She does not believe that I didn’t, COULDN’T have done it. SUPERVISORS are telling her that not only didn’t I do it, but I COULDN’T have done it. (and she puts right in her book that she didn’t believe them). Three days later, on December 22, someone calls child abuse on Joan, identifies themselves as me, accuses Joan and MY fiance as abusing Joan’s children. Now I find this timing very interesting. – Then Joan starts writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, a state senator, the district attorney, the commissioner of social services, my neice. And in those letters, she’s accusing me of all sorts of nonsense, and blabbing MY personal, private medical history.
THEN, she makes copies of these letters – and mails them to me. Not to mentioin the almost daily phone calls to my job, telling them to fire me. When I press charges of stalking and harassment against her – she writes to MY fiance, urging him to leave me. – So this was all a revenge plot by Joan against me – for something I had nothing to do with – her mixed up hospital bill! She set out to 1. break me and John up (something she’d been trying to do for years – from 1993-1999), 2. get me to lose my job. 3. ruin my reputation.
On page 333 – Joan relates that she received an envelope that was full of cut-up pictures of her that she recognized as being from my photo album.She says that she got this a few days after she got a letter from Buffalo General Hospital telling her that I was innocent of the billing error. She says the envelope was smeared with cooking grease. – No – she is deliberately mixing up things again. To make it look as though I tampered with her bill, called child abuse on her, harassed her for revenge for the court case of 1993. – She takes events from 1993, 1994, 1995, 1999 and 2003 and mixes them up into a different timeline, even taking words from a letter I sent her in 1999, and has me saying them in person in 1994! Okay – I think I know what’s going on – the Joan Wheeler we know is really from an alternate universe, where things happened in different years. My court documents and personal letters are from a different reality than Joan’s. Yeah – that’s it. That explains it. Joan is not from this planet. uh huh, I always thought so.
I mentioned earlier that Joan brought her kids to the court, but they stayed out in the hallway. I went out to the bathroom and stopped at the water fountain for a drink. The baby sitter and Joan’s kids never left the bench they were sitting on. Words were never exchanged. In 1999, when I received the letter from Joan with her friend’s return address, I was so angry, I wrote her back and I told her a whole bunch of stuff. I have already transcribed this letter and scanned it and will be posting it soon. (there’s just so much convoluted stuff involved here). I mailed it to Joan. She sent it back. I had not put a return address on it. She had opened it, read it, probably photocopied what I wrote, put it back in the envelope and stapled it, wrote my address for a return address and marked “refused – return to sender” and dropped it in a mailbox. When I got it, I saw what she did, and said to myself – oh, no, she is not going to play her little post office games with me! Now John and I had been without a car for several years – and just two weeks prior to me getting her letter to me saying that John got the next-door neighbor pregnant, we had bought a car from John’s nephew. It need transmission work, we were waiting for our income tax refund check to fix it. In the meantime, it was leaking transmission fluid and it was necessary to keep a few cans of the fluid in the car and keep pouring it in the engine. I kept it on the floor behind the driver’s seat, so I wouldn’t have to keep opening the trunk. To prevent a mess, the opened cans were kept in a metal tray.
Now, in addition to the “revelation” that my infertile husband got another woman pregnant, was the accusation that Joan’s son saw me drive past their house! This was an impossibiltiy! When I had received the letter, I HAD NO CAR! By the time I had written to Joan, she received it, and sent it back, we had gotten Jamie’s car. I was so angry when I received it back, I took the envelope and jumped in the car. I threw the envelope on the back seat, and it fell into the tray with the transmission fluid. Oh well, I thought – she won’t be able to drop it back in a mailbox now. THEN I drove to her house and threw it up on her lawn. Oh and by the way – the letter she sent me in 1998 about the guy in South Carolina threatening Gert? It contained her ex-husband’s phone number. So when I got home – I called him long distance and I told him the whole dam thing – that no, I did not drive past Joan’s house – so either their son is a liar or Joan is lying by stating that. AND I told Colby about the letter and the tranmission fluid.
Convolution time again: contained in that letter in the greasy envelope was my asking Joan why were her kids in court in 1995. I said I went to the bathroom and water fountain, Dennis looked bored, Catherine was sleeping. What does lying Joan say about this in her book? She took MY words – water fountain – on page 330 changes the year to 1994, (she can’t even lie correctly) and says that when the court broke for lunch, she and the kids were at the water fountain and I walked up to them and yelled “See what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you in court to see your poor Aunt go through this!” No, in my letter in the greasy envelope in 1999 I said “why were the kids in court after the judge said NOT to bring kids to court? To drag them in there to see their dirty Aunt Ruth abusing their mother?” So we see how Joan takes words out of my mouth and twists them to lie! Now Joan said on the bottom of page 329 to the top of page 330: she filed charges of harassment against me for the child abuse call: “We couldn’t prove conclusively that she made the ..call. but we could prove continued harassment in various forms throughout the years. Our only recourse was to seek an Order of Protection. Three months of court dates followed. I brought my children to court as they were part of the case and needed to see for themselves just what was going on.” She then relates the buillshit about the water fountain. She then says that in the summer of 1994, she was granted a one year Order of Protection against me. WRONG, WRONG WRONG!
She didn’t prove ANY harassments from me because I didn’t harass her! But she does say just WHO had been harassing her for more than 20 years – a member of the adoptive family – he had been sending her filthy things for years – and I was getting the blame for it. And not only does Joan admit on pages 344-345 that he had been found out – she doesn’t clear MY name – because she hates me and wants to make out that I did all sorts of things to her – when I didn’t! Listen, if she had conclusive proof in 1994 that I harassed her – why didn’t the court arrest me and throw me in jail? This is all nonsense – lies, blaming me for things other people had done. The whole section of her book, pages 295 to pages 342, covering years 1992 – 1995 are so full of twisted lies, pure hate, blaming Ruth for other people’s actions – it was JOAN who refused to send Kathy’s belongings to England – not Ruth,(they were in JOAN’S house, not mine. It was JOAN who was responsible for them. It was KATHY who called our father for help in getting her things. It was DAD who called Joan and yelled at her. It was JOSELYNE who called Joan and yelled at her for upsetting Dad. RUTH was not involved in any of that – yet – Joan wrote me a letter saying “Because of you … blah, blah, blah, and then puts it in her book that all that was MY fault. I’m sitting at MY house, minding MY business, yet I”M the one getting blamed for 1. Joan’s own actions, 2. Kathy’s actions, 3. Dad’s actions, 4. Joselyne’s actions. Can I slap the shit out of her now? pleeeaasee? God help me when I saw that book and saw pages 295 – 342, I couldn’t believe it! And I cried – how could someone of my own blood do this to me? When I had done NOTHING to her. All I ever did was love her. In 1990 I had hundreds of dollars stolen from me by her. I called her in 1993 for that money and got hauled into court. She tried to get me fired from my job! She tried to break me and John up. Filthy letters followed, one telling me my infertile husband got another woman pregnant. And then to read this shit in her filthy book. -Now you know why I have this blog.
In 1999, after I received her letter telling me that John got another woman pregnant, because she had contacted me in 1998 after the DA told her not to, and I wrote her telling me to leave me alone, I had grounds to press harassment on her. In the court papers – drawn up by the court itself – it listed all previous court dates between me and Joan. it correctly showed our case in 1993 where she was granted a SIX-MONTH order of protection against me. It correctly showed MY case against Joan in 1995 that was dismissed by Judge Margaret Anderson – It did NOT show ANY court case between us lasting three months in 1994, nor did it show ANY one-year order of protection granted Joan in the summer of 1994. If that was the case – if Joan was truly granted a one year order of protection against me from summer of 94 to 95 – what the hell was she doing stalking and harassing me in the spring of 1995? That would be like the kettle calling the pot black! see the graphic here of this court document.
As to the cut-up photos in the greasy envelope- nope – never sent them to her. Yes, I cut her pictures out of my photo album and threw them in the trash.Way back in 1991! In 2003, when we went to Arizona for my brother’s funeral, I brought my photo albums for the family to see. (Joan belittles me in her book for this – said I was doing a “Show and Tell” – and why not? Is there something wrong in passing around family photos? Oh, I see, it’s when RUTH passes around family photos for family members to see – THEN it’s wrong. I’m sure that EVERY family shares family photos at a family gathering. But when RUTH does it, it’s wrong. Do you see what I mean about the hate Joan has for me? It’s perfectly obvious – it’s practially jumping off the pages of her hideous book. And for those people like HeatherUK of the adoptee forum to think this is a wonderful book – Heather – you are an ass that you can’t see this hate.
Anyway, she recognized where her pictures were cut out – and between 2003 and 2009 when that filthy book was published, went in and changed dates and events around, trying to reshape the past. But Joan forgot she mailed me all that stuff back in the 90’s – with her own handwriting on it, and she forgot that I kept the court documents. Joan may have presented in her book that Ruth was a lying, conniving bitch, but the TRUTH wins out in the end – it is not Ruth who was and is lying, conniving bitch – it is JOAN MARY WHEELER, who was always the lying conniving bitch – as she still is to this day.
So here is the letter that I wrote for the courts, the district attorney and the police.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
Enclosed are two letters written by Joan Wheeler concerning me, Ruth Sippel. One is a letter written to my niece Karen Finken, who resides in B., New York; and who sent these letters to me to give to the proper authorities.
The other letter is written to Mr. P.S., the director of patient’s accounts at Buffalo General Hospital, where I have been employed as a nursing assistant for the past 22 years. In this letter, Ms. Wheeler accuses me of entering the hospital computer system and changing the address on a bill that she had received. Apparently, in February (1994) and December 3, 1994, Joan Wheeler received a bill intended for a J.Wheeler. (name censored by Ruth Pace, November 2011)
I first became aware of this accusation on January 3, 1995, by my immediate supervisor, G.W., RN, who had received a telephone call from Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. During this call, Ms. Wheeler accused me of conspiring with someone in the billing department in order to “mess up her bill.”
Ms. W. told Ms. Wheeler that the computer terminals at the nursing station where I work can not access the hospital billing system. However, Ms. Wheeler kept insisting that I had done it, and asked Ms. Williamson “Don’t you know what kind of people you have working for you?” Ms. W. told her that she had known me for more than 15 years, and that I was an exceptional worker.
Ms. W. called patient accounts and they told her that when Ms. Wheeler had called them, they had explained to her that it was a simple typing error and it had been corrected while she still on the phone with them. I spoke to a supervisor in the billing department (whose name I cannot recall), the first week of January, 1995. This woman verified that Ms. Wheeler had called, and the problem had been corrected.
I also spoke to Mr. S. on February 16, 1995, and he told me that he had checked into Ms. Wheeler’s complaint, and found that it appeared to be an honest mistake, and he told Ms. Wheeler that.
However, Ms. Wheeler has continued to call Buffalo General Hospital demanding to speak to supervisors about my “behavior,” although she had been told that I had nothing to do with it.
I was informed by a secretary at the nursing office that during the late afternoon of February 9, 1995, nearly two months after the problem was taken care of, Ms. Wheeler called and wanted the names of my supervisors so that she could “write letters to them.” I have also been informed of at least 4 other occasions in December and January, where Ms. Wheeler had called the hospital and either demanded to speak to my supervisor or to obtain the names of other supervisory personel.
I have alerted hospital administration to this problem, and Ms. E.F., of the Human Resources Department has also been of great help and support to me. My employers are aware that I am not the cause of Ms. Wheeler’s billing problems and these events are not related at all to my performance of my job. In fact, I received an excellent job evaluation on March 1, 1995.
I maintain my innocence in any problems that Ms. Wheeler may have concerning her bills from Buffalo General Hospital. I was not even working either December 13, or December 14 when the last error occured (December 14, 1994).
I attended the hospital’s computer training class only recently, (March 8, 1995), and on March 22, I received my assigned secret password that will allow me access to the nursing station computer terminal. I can only access the programs that pertain to the nursing care for the current patients on my nursing unit.
I object to Ms. Wheeler calling the hospital and accusing me of all sorts of harassing behavior towards her and discussing my private family matters. She also did this as long ago as 1987, calling Mrs. C. M.-H. told me that Ms. Wheeler had told her details of our family history. I also object to Ms. Wheeler informing Mr. S. details of my private home life, my private medical problems, and of my previous dealings with the court. I also fail to see what my having been in an orphanage while I was a child has to do with Ms. Wheeler’s erroneous bill.
She accuses me of trying to “do something” to her, but on page 2 of her letter to my niece, she admits that she tried to sabotage my relationship with my fiance by telling him that “he had better think twice if he wants to continue living with a woman who would accuse him of child abuse.” I maintain my innocence of any call made to child welfare about Ms. Wheeler and am also angry that someone would involve my fiance in it. My fiance believes in my innocence, and did not let this accusation stop him from presenting me with a diamond engagement ring on Christmas morning, 1994.
In another letter that Ms. Wheeler wrote to my niece, she admits that she (Ms. Wheeler), knows that I am listed with the phone company under “Brittany” Sippel. I had requested to be listed under that name to prevent Ms. Wheeler from obtaining my unlisted phone number. Since I had never informed her of this, the only way Ms. Wheeler could have found this information would be for her to call Directory Assistance and asking for any listing for my home address. For obvious reasons, I do not want her to have my phone number and I am concerned that she is trying to obtain it.
Ms. Wheeler has also recently written letters to Anthony Masiello, mayor of Buffalo, State Senator Anthony Nanula, Erie County District Attorney Kevin Dillon, and Erie County Social Services Commissioner Deborah Merrifield. Ms. Wheeler sent me copies of these letters which I subsequently passed along to Detective Martin Harrington, of the Buffalo Police Department, as proof of Ms. Wheeler’s harassment of me. These letters are also libelous against me in their content, and in her letter to Commissioner Merrifield a reference is made to a “detailed family history” that Ms. Wheeler apparently sent to Ms. Merrifield. I have not seen this “detailed family history,” but I am sure my name is mentioned in it, since the purpose of all this letter writing is nothing less than a vicious smear campaign against me. (Ruth’s note – as these are public officials, I have not censored their names.)
I respectfully ask the court to tell Ms. Wheeler to stop writing letters about me and stop placing phone calls in an obvious attempt to damage my good name and reputation at Buffalo General Hospital.
Ruth B. Sippel
Graphics of scanned court documents, etc. that prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family. November 27, 2011Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, court documents, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassing letters, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity
Here are some documents that I scanned into my computer. Just click on each picture to see the larger version. They are very interesting. These are actual court documents. These have been posted in the past – they prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler lied about the court proceedings between me and her. Come on, Joan – explain – you’re the one who’s always saying adoptees are looking for “truth.” So here’s the truth. Let’s hear your explanation!
First up: the ruling of Buffalo City Court in August 1993 giving Joan a six-month order of protection against me for annoyance phone calls. The dates were from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. It was NOT for August 1 as she puts in her book. As for the court giving me her new address after she moved, that was done to tell me where I was not supposed to go – but she put in her book that she complained because now I had her new address. Big deal – I didn’t go there, didn’t call her – didn’t know her boyfriend’s name – not like the lying crap she put in her book. If I violated the order of protection, and she called the police like she said in the book, I would have been arrested. Since I was NEVER arrested, (because I didn’t violate the order of protection), and the court reviewed my conduct in February 1994, (and they found I was “clean”), the order of protection was dismissed. Of course Joan puts her own little spin on the events in her book. – Oh by the way – she says in her book that in early December 1993 I called child abuse on her and then she took me to court. Well, wouldn’t that be IN THE MONTHS THE ORDER OF PROTECTION WAS IN EFFECT? According to Joan’s timetable of events – it would – but I’m sorry to break it to you – events and things that Ruth did or didn’t do – didn’t happen the way Joan says in her book. She’s a filthy liar. The writing is hard to see – so what I did is this: the first graphic is the complete document. The second is a closeup on my name – Ruth Sippel – the third one is a closeup of the dates – a very sloppy clerk put the end date for the beginning date, then crossed it out – but you can see the begin date (you really have to look) as August 9, 1994 and the end date of February 9, 1994.
Next is this one from Family Court from 1999. This is to show that Joan lied when she said we spent three months in court in 1994 and in the summer of 1994 she was granted a one-year restraining order against me. I took her to court for harassment in early 1999 – the COURT CLERK went into the computer to research any court proceedings between me and Joan. The COURT COMPUTER correctly showed the 1993 case wherein Joan received the SIX MONTH Order of Protection against me and the 1995 case wherein Judge Anderson dismissed the harassment charges I filed against Joan. The COURT COMPUTER did not show ANY court dates in 1994 – Why? BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER IN COURT IN 1994! Read Article #5 on this document, near the bottom of the page to see ALL court dates of ALL court proceedings between me and Joan – you will not see one for 1994. Because Joan is a LIAR!
This graphic is of the actual letter Joan wrote to Albany, New York about the false child abuse call that was placed against her on December 22, 1994. On page 328 – 329 she says the call was made in early December 1993. (She did this to show her readers how I was violating the Order of Protection, but I have the proof right here – and in this letter, she tells the New York State Child Abuse and Maltreatment Center that I was placed on probation in 1993. SLANDER! Because if you go back and look at that 1999 printout from Family Court – it says no such thing!
This one here is a doozy – this is a letter that Joan wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts where I work with her filthy accusations of me tampering with her bill. Notice on page 2 she says “The six month probation period ended on February 9, 1994.” SLANDER! I WAS NEVER SENTANCED TO PROBATION – I WAS GIVEN AN RESTRAINING ORDER TO STAY AWAY FROM JOAN – Probation and an order of protection are two different things! Not only does this prove her slandering me to someone where I work – but it proves that she knew the correct dates and duration (six months) of the restraining order and LIED when she said in the book it was for one year.
Here’s the summons that Joan received ordering her to court to answer my charges of harassment. Notice the date she was to appear – April 3, 1995. And look at the note she wrote – to MY fiance and to MY future mother-in-law!
Here’s another doozy letter from Joan – sent to MY fiance at his mother’s house – clear evidence of her trying to break me and John up – “are you leaving her?” And look at how she’s pressuring him to work on me to drop the charges and trying to involve my future mother-in-law, who never met Joan. She only had the woman’s address because she drove me and John there once. Obviously she made a note of it, but stupid cow that she is – she got the zipcode wrong! Oh – but doesn’t she have 2 college degrees? Isn’t she smart enough to look up a correct zipcode?
So there you have it – and these are not the only documents I have. I have posted other things in the past on this blog, but there are some things that haven’t gotten up yet. And I’m only half done in refuting that filthy lying book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler. Joan- get ready to eat some crap. Because the truth is coming out – it’s been coming out for two years now – you lied in that book, the truth was shown to your publisher and because of your lies and your SLANDERING me and others – your book is dead. oh, too bad!
NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER, author of Forbidden Family November 16, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, emotional abuse, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, horror movies, mocking someone for their iinterests, ridicule, stupidity
Today, November 16, 2011, while shopping, I picked up, the DVD sets of Seasons One – Four of the television series “Tales from the Crypt.”
Since you found it of great importance to mention in your book that I like horror movies, (and mocking me while doing so) – I just thought I’d give you a chance to mock me some more. Cos I know you simply just can’t live without doing so. I am the reason of your existence. Without me, you wil have never been. ha ha ha.
Anyways, I have to wait til 10pm tonight to watch Tales from the Crypt – don’t have time right now – and then from 7pm to 10pm, I’ll be watching Ghost Hunters.
For your enjoyment – the original intro to Tales from the Crypt as it was presented by HBO in 1989. Music by Danny Elfman (Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas).
ohh, I was just looking at the back of the package – wow, I’d forgotten just how many big stars were on the program (from the late 1980’s- early 1990’s) – Timothy Dalton, Brad Pitt, Demi Moore, John Rhys-Davies, Richard Jordan, Christopher Reeve, Tom Hanks, Sugar Ray Leonard and Orchard Park NY native, William Sadler. – (I told Bill that his work as “The Man Who Was Death” was my favorite role of his.)
So Joan, are you going to mock these big stars for acting in a horror TV show? Come on, shoot your big mouth off now. — What’s that? Got nothing to say? — Oh, I see, it’s only when one of Joan’s nasty birth sisters likes something does she put it down, because Joan lives only to trash her own kin. – Joan, my dear, that falls into the category of ridicule and bullying – BULLY – that’s you my dear!
oh, by the way Joan – one of your Herr cousins also likes Tales from the Crypt – ya gonna mock her out too? No? Why not? She must be as sick as I am for liking horror! – No, Joan, you won’t mock anybody else out for liking horror – only me. Why? Because you hate me. And you proved it by pointing out in your book that I like horror. My liking horror has WHAT to do with YOUR adoption, adoption reform work or our reunion? NOTHING! – Then why was it in your book? Because it was just another nasty dig against me – like all the other shit in your book.
The only horror I don’t like is – YOU!
continuing on refuting that libelous book, Forbidden Family November 15, 2011Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler on Google Books November 11, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, bullying, copyright infringement, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER
my review of Forbidden Family on Google Books
It should be noted here that this book was pulled from publication by Trafford Publications on May 9, 2011 due to its slanderous and libelous nature. The author lied to the publisher that only truth was written. Copies of actual court documents from harassment cases involving the author were submitted to the publisher as proof of the slander contained in the book. The author changed only some names, and left a footnote referencing an article written in the 1980’s that contained real names, thereby leaving a clear path for anyone to find out true names of individuals in the book.
The author also lied to the publisher in saying that she owned the sole copyright to a family photograph on the back cover. The photo was of me, my parents, and my siblings – taken the year before the author was born. The author does not own the copyrights to this photo, nor obtained my permission to publish my photograph.As this photo has been widely distributed amongst various family members in the 1950’s (and the author used her true name), again, it is not hard to know just who the author was writing about – there was no protection to conceal identities in this book.
This, along with the readily proven slander in the book, showed the publisher the true intent of the author – a smear campaign against people in her life who ever disagreed with her or angered her.
This book will never be printed – the author has been showed not to be a truthful person.
For more information see Refuting a Book of Lies at https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/
and Reclaiming the Sippel/Herr Family Honor at http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/
- 1. Ruth –
- to those who missed it – Joan put forth on her website that when we birth sisters of hers published our names on our blogs, we invalidated any privacy we may have expected from concealed (or not concealed) names.
The point is: we did put forth our true names, yes, but that was our conscious decision to make and we do not make any monies from our blog. Also, the photograph in question is readily available online on my personal facebook page in one of my photo albums, and on my Picasa/Google online photo albums. And again, I make no monies from this. The photograph was put on the internet by me, to SHARE freely with other family members.
The difference is – Joan Wheeler used MY photograph on a book that was to make monies for her. Joan Wheeler violated copyright laws in doing this. She did not obtain written permission from the four living individuals in the photograph (two of those pictured were deceased at the time of publication, and one more has since expired).
If Joan Wheeler wishes to gain a monetary income, then she had better seek gainful employment, and not try to seek monies from the story of MY life – she had events of MY life that had nothing to do with HER adoption, our reunion, or her adoption reform work. And she lied about those events.
Because she violated copyright laws, failed to protect our identities in a book that she was seeking income from, and slandered me and others in her book, her book has been killed.
Joan refuses to accept the reality of this. Six months after the book has been pulled, she still continues to promote it on her website. She still has a page called “About and Buy” with a link to the page that Trafford Publications used to sell the book. The page was removed by Trafford on May 9, 2011. The book canNOT be bought from them. Why does Joan still keep that page and the link to a non-existent sales page? Because Joan is delusional and canNOT and will NOT accept that her book has been killed for very good reasons.
Joan is her mental illness continues to insist that there was nothing wrong with her book. If that is so, why is this book not being printed? There is very much many things wrong with this book – Joan just refuses to admit it. She wants to save face, but all she is doing at the present time is showing the entire world what a delusional person she is. She has been found out – black and white evidence was shown to the publisher and posted on this blog – yet Joan still says she did not lie.
Only a mentally ill person contnues to insist they did not lie, even when ABSOLUTE proof is presented that they did lie. Only mentally ill persons continue to support Joan when faced with those same ABSOLUTE proofs.
Gert wrote a short little post today (November 10, 2011) titled “Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, welcomes guests??”
And I just had to make a couple of comments! – Enjoy!
from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity, theft, whining
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..
Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.
She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?
So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”
I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.
As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.
so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.
I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.
It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.
“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!
I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.
There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!
Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!
And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.
A lesson in email protocol – and some person with a doctorate in education needs to get edumacated! (and grow up and learn some manners) November 3, 2011Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life.
On October 17, 2011 I wrote a blog post titled: Translating your emotions into internet text can be fraught with dangers, misinterpretations, and people just need to chill out.
It came about because of an email exchange I had with a 33 year old relative of mine. I had emailed him about some personal issues. I had written my draft in my Word Document, using a font and size that I always use. When I imported it to my email program and sent it off, I didn’t know it would show up HUGE! (I found out because I had cc’d myself) and when I saw my copy, I did see it was HUGE, but it was a done deal. So this whipper-snapping youngling got all bent out of shape and accused me of internet yelling at him.
He also got bent out of shape because instead of italicizing or underlining or bolding words for emphasis, I had used capital letters. So f’ing sue me! I’m only human – and this is the way I write – I’ve been doing a newsletter for 10 years and that’s what I do – and I’ve never gotten any complaints, instead- I get compliments – and when the former head of our Star Trek fan group sent out copies of our newsletters, nominating different articles for “awards” – many of my articles received awards based on votes from people who were NOT in our group. – Oh no – I just capitalized the word “not” so put the thumbscrews on me!
Also in my email, I referenced an email that he had previously sent to another relative, and he had neglected to use her familial title – AUNT. I told him of his faux pas. The youngling got his nose bent out of shape and proceeded to lecture me that “email protocol dictates that when you answer an email, you address the person they way they signed their original email.” I emailed him back and said that that applies to business correspondence, not family members. And why wasn’t he addressing his family members as family in the first place? What kind of manners does this youngling have? None that I can see. Then he furthers his faux pas by telling me to address HIM by his professional title. In my return email I said that “I do not call my family member Dr. Familymember, no matter how proud I am of him and his accomplishements.” I may be proud of him in that regard but am appalled by his lack of manners, failure to give relatives their just due, and daring to lecture his elders, especially related elders. I said in my previous post that this person does not know me – cos anyone who does, knows that there are certain things I will not stand for – and one of them is being lectured to by someone who is almost half my age!
So today, here was a bit of a radio show talking about email manners and type setting
In past times when people wrote with typewriters it was the usual practice to put two spaces between sentences. But since no one uses typewriters any more and type-setting is done on computers, there is no need to have two spaces between sentences.
The real news on the show was about how to address people in emails, that salutation and closing. So what did I just say this youngling told me? — Well he is all wrong! ANYTHING is acceptable. It depends on whom you are emailing! Just as I pointed out to him…talking to family members and friends are very loose, very informal. The guy on the radio even said that went he emails his wife he never puts a dear or hi before hand and never signs it, I am also correct in that older relatives ought to have their designated ‘title’ used…aunt, uncle, grandma…etc. So the bottom line …the youngling may be a ‘doctor’ but he doesn’t know his manners.
Is Joan Wheeler helping or hurting the cause of Adoption Reform? November 3, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity
Is Joan Wheeler helping or hurting the cause of Adoption Reform? – in my opinion, she is HURTING her own cause!
On October 31, I posted this blogpost: Joan Wheeler lies about her siblings again, does not want us to speak up for our reputations. It references a New York Times opinion piece and comments: The ‘Enabling Violation’ of International Adoption
so here’s the thing – and all you “adoption reformers” need to GET THIS –
whatever Gert’s or my’s feelings and thoughts about Joan’s continued bashing of us are – Joan is a DETRIMENT to your cause!
1. Joan comments on an article, but puts forth her erroneous version of how she got to be adopted.
2. Gert replys and says that Joan is in error.
3. Joan comments and starts whining that her birth sisters are “negative” – also tries to blame us for the failed reunion between us and her.
4. Ruth tries to comment – in her comment, she refutes that statement, points out the negativity is coming from Joan. Also points out that Joan lied about the failure of the reunion – the reunion failed BECAUSE OF JOAN’S OWN BEHAVIOR – LIKE STEALING FROM US, LYING ABOUT US, PHONING IN CHILD ABUSE CALLS, ETC. Ruth also points out that Joan’s book was pulled from the publisher because of SLANDER AND LIBEL. AND THE LYING ABOUT HER OWNING A COPYRIGHT ON RUTH’S AND GERT’S CHILDHOOD PICTURE.
5. the moderators of the opinions see what a mess got started. – The moderators, who represent the New York Times, do not want to get involved with a situation that involves slander, libel, copyright infringement.
6.The moderators pull the plug on any more comments – meaning NO MORE COMMENTS FROM ANY PERSON WHO IS TRYING TO REFORM ADOPTION.
ADOPTION REFORMERS – GET WITH THE PROGRAM!
You need to tell Joan Wheeler to SHUT UP ABOUT HER BIRTH SISTERS AND STOP LYING ABOUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HER ADOPTION!
We have said it before on this blog and on Gert’s blog – WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ADOPTION ISSUE – ALL WE CARE ABOUT IS JOAN WHEELER’S BEHAVIOR AND STATEMENTS ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY!
When Joan Wheeler spouts lies and/or misrepresentations about us and our family – WE WILL SPEAK UP AND CORRECT THOSE STATEMENTS!
I have put forth on this blog a list of demands that I want met by Joan Wheeler –
please pay attention to this item in the list titled “2. Joan WILL comply with the following:”
4.The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
Anytime Joan opens her mouth about us in person or on the internet, we will answer. And if this means YOUR anti-adoption messages don’t get out because we cause a site to shut down comments – then you people need to go to the source – JOAN WHEELER and shut her up. – because we Sippel Sisters are not going to shut up. We retain the human right to defend ourselves whenever ANYbody tells a lie about us or talks trash about us. And our human and civil rights are NOT negotiable.
Tags: adoption, Lies, SLANDER, stupidity, whining
« Reply #12 on: Today at 01:42:19 PM »
Yes, absolutely obscene.
Last Leaf of Autumn November 3, 2011Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things, Lessons in Life.
totally off blog topic.
I wanted to blog yesterday, but was done in by errands, shopping, and the need to leave my van at the mechanic’s. hopefully it won’t cost me an arm and a leg to get it fixed. Life really sucks sometimes.
when this stuff happens, there’s nothing you can do but regroup. here’s a beautiful piece of music – The Last Leaf of Autumn by Grant Wilson. – enjoy. the link will take you to a myspace page – I hope the link works – and just click on the play button.
we paranormal investigators are people with many interests and talents. We don’t get ourselves stuck in one little groove of life – why would anyone do that? There is so much out there to learn – to enjoy – to discover! Anyone who has only one interest in life is a very boring person.
Joan Wheeler lies about her siblings again, does not want us to speak up for our reputations…part 2 November 2, 2011Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
come and see part two on this topic at gertmcqueen.wordpress.com
Ever wonder where Joan Wheeler gets her warped ideas from? November 1, 2011Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
Come on over and find out!