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I wish Joan Wheeler would stop stealing phrases from my blog – does she EVER have any original thoughts? December 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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So last night Joan spouts some more “wisdom” over at the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum. –

“Foofie’s right. Telling a poor mother that she would be better off giving away her child so she could go on to lead a better life (go to college, get a career, etc) and, therefore, her child would also be better off away from her and poverty, well, this is just buying into what society has been dishing out for decades. That’s the Adoption Machine’s motto — that adoptive parents will provide a better life for the adoptee. Well, adoptive parents certainly do die young sometimes, leaving the adoptee without one or both adoptive parents. An orphan, again. To be adopted again? Maybe. And, adoptive parents certainly do face hard economic times, too. Telling a poor mother to give up her child because she is poor is a cruelty to her and her child. Family preservation means just what Foofie said — extending kindness, support, social services, food stamps, Medicaid, education and job training, child care while she does these things to get income, and community support from churches and other social organizations such as the locall YMCA that often have 50% scholarships to low income families so their children can attend camp and year-long Y activities. Socially isolating the mother is not good. She doesn’t live in a vaccuum. She has a family and so the family members can help too. And the unmarried father can be drawn in as well. …. Being cast off because your mother was poor really sends a negative message to the adoptee. That’s one of the reasons why most of us hate being adopted.”

Pay attention to the words that I bolded:  She doesn’t live in a vaccuum.  – These are direct thoughts and words of Gert McQueen. I myself have never used that phrase, but Gert has used it several times. Most recently on December 27 in her post “Gert McQueen’s review of Rene Hoksbergen’s review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler” – 4th paragraph down, Gert says “No one lives in a vacuum. At least Gert spelled the word vacuum correctly! Joan, the oh-so-professional “author” didn’t get it right.

We have said several times on this blog that Joan is a Master Manipulator – She is also a Foolish Follower. We have caught many other instances where she has taken phrases from our blogs and used them elsewhere. And she had the nerve to complain once to the AAAC forum “I don’t read their blogs, are they writing to the air?” I blogged once before about that – around springtime 2010 – that we know that Joan reads our blog because she gives herself away. But not only does she “follow” our blog – she “follows” other people! We have seen where someone posts something on the forum, and in just a few days, here comes Joan writing about something and she swipes phrases from the original post. And after reading her book, and harassing letters for years, and dealing with her in person for many years, we know how Joan thinks and speaks. So when we see something on her blog – we can tell when it’s HER own original words or somebody else’s suggestions.

Joan is full of hyperbole, exagerations, and contradictions. She is transparent to us, we who have learned the hard way how she operates, speaks, writes and thinks. She doesn’t fool us. She may have in the past, been able to pull the wool over our eyes, but we learned our lessons – we learned how Joan the Snake works. We recognize her forked tongue.  




1. gertmcqueenDecember 30, 2011

Gert here:
great post Ruth!! excellent in fact!!

Joan is so good at trying to look ‘learned’ when in fact she just can’t pull it off. Joan has no real knowledge of how the real world works, because she has been spoiled by the very adopted parents she hates and condemns over and over again.

Joan keeps talking about some kind of ‘family perservation’ so that no child should be adopted out. Guess what?? That is a pie in the sky nicey nicey way of thinking…but it doesn’t work for all people all the time!! Get real!!

Joan says, in the above post, She has a family and so the family members can help too

Really now, the family can help….let me tell you that it is the RARE family that can and does help!!

In our own family there was NO ONE who COULD HELP…that is why Joan was adopted out, and the other four children were in foster homes and orphan homes. In my own personal life…I have two children…NO ONE helped me raised them, not even their own father!!

There was no one in my immediate family or extended family or the in-law family to help me CARE FOR MY CHILDREN but ME!!! I raised my children alone for 12 years while I managed to WORK and go to school and EARN A DEGREE and keep a job for 37 years!!

I really find it appalling that someone, Joan, who has TWO college degrees, but no significant job under her belt, who had everything given to her by the adopted parents, who still cries the blues because she was adopted!

No wonder she has such a miserable life….she never had developed inner strength. I would like to know who in Joan’ family is going to take care of her when she gets old and has to have someone TAKE CARE OF HER? Who Joan, in your family, is going to take care of you.

2. RuthDecember 30, 2011

uh, Gert, did you forget that even now, Joan has forced her 25 year old daughter to work two jobs to support them in a house they can not afford. My father urged Joan several years ago to sell the house and move to an affordable apartment.

In a private facebook message, Joan’s ex-husband told me that he finds it “disgusting” that his daughter works 2 jobs. My niece also lamented in a myspace message to me in Nov. 2009 “Don’t I have a right to a life of my own?”, Instead of building her own life, is now “raising” Joan.

Joan’s ex-husband also told me “Joan has fixed it so that (eventually) she will lose the house.” He told me that he and his current wife offered to buy the house (and rent it out to Joan), but she refused. This delusional dingbat, who couldn’t afford to fix her own car in 2009 thinks she can hold down a mortgage, do necessary house repairs, when she is on Social Security Disability. – So why doesn’t the “extended” family help out? Why the f should they?


Gert McQueen’s review of Rene Hoksbergen’s review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 27, 2011

Posted by gertmcqueen in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page



On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon


Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward


Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.


https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation






 Gert here:
In view of the fact that recent attention has been placed on Rene Hoksbergen’s endorsement of the lying hateful book that Joan Wheeler wrote, which was pulled from publication, I thought that readers would like to see what I wrote and posted some time ago about his review. (Ruth’s note – I placed some additional material at the end of this post – please read – it is my answer to only 2 statements of Hoksbergen).
Rene Hoksbergen’s words are in normal text format.
Gert McQueen’s comments, on this review, are in bold itatic text format.
Review of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family by Rene Hoksbergen in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation.
This autobiographical study of Joan Wheeler read with the necessary tension on the way things will go. Despite the extensive and detailed description of the many events and feelings over a period of almost fifty years.
This book is a detailed description of a tormented individual that has a great need to have the world fit her delusions. No one lives in a vacuum and by the very nature of writing about one’s own inner demons it becomes very subjective in nature and all peoples in it must fit that subjective mindset. The ‘necessary tension’ is the result of the author’s inabilities to accept life as life was given to her. The ‘extensive and detailed description’ is just over-kill and only points to a mentally unbalanced individual. Perhaps if the author actually lived a life instead of always writing ‘the book’ she and it would not be so full of torment!
It consists of two parts. The autobiography of Joan and then part two with lots of information about the American adoption history and its current situation. In this second part she makes her findings and suggestions for improvements.
Part 1, is full of sensationalized drama, with intent to sell the story, the book! The author uses, extensively, the techniques of exaggeration and hyperbole along with fabrications and outright lies. 38 chapters consisting of 569 pages are devoted to the study of the autobiography of Joan’s tormented views!
Part 2, which ought to be the more useful part of any written material intended for adoption reform, consists of only 6 chapters with a total of 62 pages! And there are no ‘suggestions’ from the author. She is a militant angry adoptee that is very hostile to anyone who adopts!
And how much does a person have to spend for this study of one person’s tormented life? Around $50.00! A person, spending a few hours on the Internet, could come up with the same source materials in this book and save themselves the money.
Joan was born in Buffalo. Her mother died shortly after her birth and her father decided to give her away to a distant relative without children. He has already four children, three daughters and one son, this fifth child can’t be taken care by him. In 1956, when this takes place, adoption in the US (and also in our country) is a taboo subject. Birth certificates are falsified, the child is sometimes very late or not informed about the adoption and many know the facts and family relationships, some don’t, as the case of Joan.
My father didn’t know about the adoptive parents being any sort of ‘distant relative’; he was in the middle of a tragedy! My father’s decisions do not have to be explained or justified. The adoptive parents also do not have to justify or explain their reasons for adopting. Throughout this book the author details, over and over again, how she had browbeaten, intimidated, condemned, and used all sorts of methods to get all parents to ‘apology’ to her for her being adopted! My god!
When she becomes 18 years old, she’s suddenly called by her eldest sister. Her three sisters were from when Joan suddenly disappeared from the family informed of the status of adoption and also of her destination. They had always wanted to know how she was doing and now she’s eighteen and formal adult, they can contact her. From this call Joan’s life has been put upside down. She describes her reactions, of the adoptive parents and how her birth family, her father and siblings deal with it.
Life, being as it is as it unfolds, is full of surprises; who would have guessed that the author would choose to condemn both families for wanting her and then go out of her way to make everyone’s life miserable with her dirty double dealings and lies! It makes me ill to read, the almost 600 pages, of pure mental garbage that the author describes herself and everyone related to her.
Against the background of all the facts around the reunion and the further development of contacts she tells clearly and gripping the progress of other aspects in her life, her school life, marriage, becomes mother of two children, the death of her adoptive father, dealing with friends, the care of her adoptive mother and only child, and many others. It is a moving description of the history of an American woman and her two families.
Gripping is not a word I’d use to describe how the author tells about aspects of her life. Soap opera dramatics is how the author details her life; every little thing is overblown so that when real troubles occur they are exaggerated to show how horrible a life she has, because she is adopted! “A moving description”, only if you are addicted to soap opera drama!
But gradually it becomes clear that the reunion in her life especially got a negative impact. There is sexual abuse of her by one of her sisters, intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance towards Joan. The father tires desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children. Joan herself also got a fierce nature. At the same time her adoptive mother initially responds very negative to her writings about adoption in various newspapers and increasingly in book form. Mother has a strong possessiveness towards her adopted child, Joan.
Negative impact, cause by the author herself! As I’ve stated in my letter to Doctor Hoksbergen, there was no sexual abuse from me to the author. That is purely a cover-up story to take away from a real incident that the author wanted and then retaliated, when things didn’t go her way, with a cover-up story. She makes her mistake, of letting out the truth, via her own lying; liars never remember the original lie. Page 220 contains a very important element to this lie of sexual abuse and points to the ‘cover up story’! But, you will have to read my own extensive comments on this once its posted on our web blog under the title ‘facts are stubborn things’. I suggest everyone check out and read our blog frequently to know the truth of all that the author details, for indeed, it will take a few more months for all our refuting of this book!
The ‘intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance’ is not towards Joan but is what Joan feels herself and projects onto everyone else. If someone does not fit into her ‘inner world reality’ they are ‘out to get her’ and she has no limits to what she will do to get you! “Fierce nature” and “strong possessiveness” don’t begin to describe the sick relationship between adopted mother and adoptee.
 Precisely because of its negative experiences Joan has decided twenty years ago, to write down her life story. She is also an adoption activist. She vehemently rails against the practice adopted in the US. She fights against the fraudulent nature, against hypocrisy, market characteristics, the closed nature of many adoptions that still continues, even against anonymous sperm and egg donors. Many times you see her at conferences, and so I made her acquaintance, her story. In the adoption world in the USA she’s well known.
When was this review actually written? The Doctor wrote the foreword in 2006 and according to the author she began writing her book in 1970’s. So by 2006 it was already close to 40 years not 20. So why have an outdated ‘review’ published now, in 2010? Precisely because it is now about one year since the book was published. This ‘review’ is a staged occurrence, it happens in the publishing world to boost sales!
She is no activist but yes she ‘vehemently rails against adoption’ to the point of not only obsession but condemnation of anyone adopting any child for any reason. Sounds more like she ought get a job with the Inquisition! She is well known in the adoption world? Pity those people!
The book is a very informative story about how an adopted deals with secrecy, how decisions are made for her, the struggle with feelings of loyalty, the reunion and contacts with biological family of both mothers and father’s side. She describes her emotional reactions openly and honestly.
This sounds as if the author wrote it for the reviewer!
It is an exciting and very well written story about the weak position of an adopted child. English is relatively simple and remain legible.
It is not written well and moves around, in space and time, as to be almost intentional misleading the reader. It is pathetic in its subjective portrayal of a weak mentally ill person. I don’t buy into the idea that because a person is adopted they are weak! They are weak because they choose to be so!
For adoptees and adoptive parents, I would recommend this book highly.
I, having actually read the thing, would recommend you use this book in the bathroom, if you were not worry about contamination from the printed words. You would be better off reading the birth sisters web blog to get a better well-rounded view of this author.
Ruth here –
I would like to know just what Hoksbergen means when he writes this sentance: “The father tires (tries) desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children.”

Again, as he did in 1993, Dr. Hoksbergen is sticking his nose into MY family’s business. CHILDREN?  excuse me, sir, we were all adults with careers. Joan was the only one who refused to grow up, take on ADULT responsibilites and get a job. Many times, throughout the years that we birth siblings and our father tried to get across to Joan to GROW UP – GET A JOB – BECOME A MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTOR TO SOCIETY. But she always has some excuse.

As to my father trying to “compromise” between us – what the hell does this mean? Along with Hoksbergen’s statement that there were feelings of jealousy, aggression and ignorance from us towards Joan. I ask you Dr. Hoksbergen – WHO TOLD YOU THIS? JOAN? Did you EVER talk to any of us? What feelings of jealousy and ignorance have I ever showed to Joan. What is ignorant is this so-called college professor to say this about me, a stranger to him. I’m ignorant? About what? Oh yeah – Joan’s pathetic life. Dr. Hoksbergen – I was busy building my own life. I had (still do) a career. As did ALL my siblings. We were supposed to stop OUR lives and understand Joan’s petty problems? Of what? She made the choice to marry a man who kept getting fired from jobs. She made the choice to be a stay-at-home mother. She made the choice NOT to get off her ass and get a job like millions of other lower-middle class people. – who also had children to raise. Get your head out of the 1950’s television shows Joan – life is NOT like Leave it to Beaver where the wife/mother stays home  and does nothing. Throughout history and all over the globe, women have had to work in the fields, in the homes and after the Industrial Revolution, in factories. As the menfolk hunted, the women worked together to weave cloths, huts, blankets, cook.  Women have always worked outside the home – as seamstresses, cooks, servants. If you can afford to make it  on one income – the husband’s – that’s great! But if not – and you sit on your ass at home then write a book and bitch and moan about how “poor” you are – you dam right Hoksbergen – I DIDN’T and NEVER WILL show sympathy to Joan for her “financial problems.” I know about financial problems RIGHT NOW. So what do I do? I GOT OFF MY ASS AND WORKED ON CHRISTMAS 2011 to compensate for the fact that my post-open heart surgery husband (aged 68 years) canNOT work extra time and as hard as he used to 30 years ago.

Hoksbergen claims I showed ignorance, aggression and jealousy towards Joan.

Ignorant of what? Joan’s emotional feelings of being adopted? Did Joan EVER put forth ANY attempts of trying to understand OUR emotional feelings? NO – she never did.

Jealousy? Of what? What does Joan have that I should be jealous of? Oh yes – she throws it in MY face that because I lost my son through miscarriage that I am jealous of her because she had two children. And I hated her kids. What a crock of shit and she should be ashamed of herself. I had my miscarriage in 1985, yet she says in her book that in 1989 we had outings to the beach WITH HER TWO CHILDREN. Joan contradicts herself in her book when she is trying to psycho-analyze me. And why is she psycho-analyzing me in the first place? I thought the book was about HER life as an adoptee, not MY life as a woman who’s son died. And Hoksbergen believes every f’ing word this idiot Joan feeds him.


Hoksbergen – you are as delusional as Joan because you took that lying snake’s words as truth.

Getting back to my father’s trying to compromise between us? Again, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Gert, the oldest sibling moved out of Buffalo in 1982, and actually knew NOTHING of the trouble that Joan was causing me. Kathy lived in England, and knew some of the things going on. My brother lived in Arizona, and knew NOTHING of what was going on. I NEVER TOLD MY FATHER ANYTHING. In 2004, when my father was in rehab following open heart surgery, I took my stepmother out to lunch and we were talking about Joan. THAT is when I told her of: Joan’s stealing money from me in 1990, Joan calling my job to get me fired, Joan writing me that letter about my husband getting a neighbor pregnant. My stepmother and my father KNEW NOTHING (FROM ME) ABOUT THE COURT PROCEEDINGS THAT I INSTITUTED AGAINST JOAN. When my stepmother found out – she cried. “We didn’t know this was all going on.”


It was and always has been Joan who was the trouble-maker, not just with me, but others. In my post of December 22, 2011, “some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her”   I outline what Joan did to my cousin Gail. WHILE GAIL WAS BATTLING CANCER – she had to put up with Joan’s harassments. And Gail, who was like a sister to me, knowing what Joan did to me, wanted to prove to the family that it was NOT me, but JOAN doing all the trouble. She kept me out of the mess between her and Joan and it was GAIL who called my father to tell him what Joan was doing.

So Dr. Hoksbergen – you know NOTHING of what happened/happens in my family – and you need to publicly withdraw your support of Joan, and make a public apology to us – for your contribution to the slander and libel about me, and my sisters Kathy and Gert. Gert did NOT repeatedly sexually abuse Joan. I heard all about the little thing that happened  right after it happened – I heard it from both Gert and Joan – and it was ONE experiment that JOAN initiated – and what I heard from both of them, (separately) was the same thing. Joan told me that SHE initated it. Joan is no angel when it comes to these matters. In 1984, being married only one year, with an infant son at home, JOan was at Lulu’s – a roadhouse bar in Kitchener Ontario and had a party – I know about it because she called me up the next day and was crying about it that she didn’t want her husband to find out she cheated on him. And in 1991, she did it again and showed up at my house at 5am, drunk and crying that she cheated on her husband again.

IGNORANCE? Gee thanks Dr. Hoksbergen for calling me ignorant. Well, I never went to college. So I don’t have a college degree. But you, Dr. Hoksbergen, AND Joan, can take your college degrees and shove them where the sun don’t shine – because it is JOAN WHEELER and RENE HOKSBERGEN who are the ignorant ones.

reposting from Gert McQueen’s blog: Was Rene Hoksbergen ever really a friend to Joan Wheeler, or did she just use him like she does everyone? (originally published on December 23, 2011) December 26, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page



On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon


Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward


Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.


https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation






Ruth here. –
for the past several days, this blog has had some interesting guests. From Holland, where Professor Rene Hoksbergen, retired from Utrecht University lives. Prof. Hoksbergen is an “adoption expert.” I’m not interested in that. I AM interested in Prof. Hoksbergen’s interference with my family – from way back in 1993, when Joan enlisted his help. At that time,my sister Kathy was trying to get some belongings of her shipped from Buffalo, NY to her home in England. Joan had them in her attic for “safekeeping” and Kathy sent her some monies for the shipping. Joan kept stalling and somehow got the good professor involved in a family matter. The professor sends Kathy a condencsending letter and dared to lecture Kathy – a grown woman! – on her attitude towards adoptees! AND in the letter, he tells Kathy that it will cost about $500 to ship her things to her. – Kathy had no intention of Joan paying for everything – but when she got this letter – she complained to the university,  and enlisted the help of our father to get her things shipped. My father called up Joan and told her to bring the things to his house, which she did. My father, who did not have a car, managed to ship the things to Kathy in three shipments, each costing around $50.00, for a total of $150.00. Far less than what the professor was led to believe. (Joan had stolen several hundred dollars from me in 1990 and was moving on to Kathy to scam money out of – and in the end did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings, keeping valuable Beatle memorabilia, thereby STEALING  these items). — Professor Hoksbergen also wrote the foreward to Joan’s lying book Forbidden Family in 2006. The book was published in 2009, Since several topics and events covered in the book happened (and were dated in the book by Joan) in the years 2007, 2008, and 2009, it is our belief that Joan did not show the professor a complete manuscript for him to read. She had several different versions of manuscripts. My father even said that he was given over the course of many years, different versions and excerpts to read – and it was constantly changing!
Joan wrote in the book that in the year 1989, Professor Hoksbergen came to my house with Joan and she described me yelling and screaming at him – an event that  NEVER happened. It is my belief that  Professor Hoksbergen wrote a foreward to this book, without seeing a manuscript that included this fictious event. Or if he did see this event chronicled in the book and still gave his approval of it – I question either his faulty memory OR his apparent APPROVAL of slander and libel of both me and him.
Whatever is going on with the good professor, – it don’t smell right and honest to me! So here is Gert’s original post from her blog. I was going to just publish a link to it, but I think whatever guests I have coming Holland should see this without too much bother of going to another website.  Of course they, and everyone else has an open invitation to see our sister site by Gert McQueen, Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor.   
But for now, here is Gert’s post, along with a comment of mine, at the end. Enjoy!
Joan Wheeler has always stated that her mentor Doctor Rene Hoksbergen was a very dear friend and very helpful to her. I have always had my doubts about that. With Joan’s consistency in making up stories, to make herself and her ’life’ believeable, I really wonder about how Hoksbergen really viewed her. I will never know of course but I can speculate; hey if Joan can speculate about things so can I!
The following comes, again, from the public forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change.
The date of this post is old…September 6,  2010. But, this time period is very significant for many reasons. September 2010 was just about a year AFTER the lying hateful book Forbidden Family was published in November2009 and when we, the birth siblings, started to refute it in December 2009. September 2010 was also one year BEFORE Joan had one of several melt-downs on the public forum and JUST BEFORE she created the cyberbullying page against us because we would not stop refuting her book.
September 6, 2010 was also just BEFORE we made public, on Ruth’s blog, that I had been in touch with Joe Soell in May of 2010 and that I had written to Hoksbergen and his boss in October 2010! This is very important for Joe Soell had communications with me in May of 2010 and it is almost certain that he spoke with Hoksbergen about my complaint about Joan Wheeler.
So a question is placed on the forum and Joan emails her mentor, showing that she has ‘friends in high places’ and then posts his response. What I find interesting is that Joan doesn’t remove her OWN email address when she posts on a public forum, is she brain dead! Also, Hoksbergen doesn’t give any HINT of warmth towards her, he seems very COLD and to the point! Remember, that he has probably been told that I had communicated with Joe Soell.
Title: Birth Certificates
Post by: J on September 06, 2010, 02:33:45 AM
Hi everyone
An adoptive parent on a Dutch forum wrote that if his adopted child asks for his birthcertificate only the names of his adoptive parents are on there. Apparently, they changed the law. It was never like this. To him it feels like fraud. Is there a website about the OBC’s in the US which he can read and gives information about why adoptees are against this? He is very active, and I would like others to read it as well. 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: He September 06, 2010, 07:19:31 AM
American Adoption Congress and Bastard Nation Websites make it quite clear 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: C on September 06, 2010, 12:56:17 PM
I had my b-mother’s permission to get my original birth certificate.  It just said “Baby Girl ” and the b-mom’s last name. And the word, “Illegitimate” on the bottom.  The revised birth certificate had my a-parent’s names on it, erased the name of the hospital, and changed my birth date. 
The idea is that the privacy of the birth mom and the formation of the “new family” demanded that we issue birth certificates like this one.  Since that is how we are going to play, I had my full name legally changed and had a new birth certificate issued. It still has my adoptive parent’s names on it, but makes it clear that we are not related since my last name is not the same as either of theirs.  Take that! :gottabat2:   
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: 1adoptee on September 06, 2010, 06:21:44 PM
I emailed Dr. Rene Hoksbergen of The Adoption Center, University of Utrecht, The Netherlands about this and this is his reply:Van: Joan M Wheeler [mailto:wheejm@yahoo.com]
Verzonden: maandag 6 september 2010 16:10
Aan: r.a.c.hoksbergen@uu.nl
Onderwerp: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
RE: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
You have your birthcert. And adoptioncert. Nothing changed in holland.
Gert here again:
Don’t you think that this great ‘mentor’ should have given Joan a bit more information about the question at hand? All he does is state the obvious to Joan about Joan…namely that SHE has her birth and adoptive certificate and nothing has changed?
And now it appears that SOMEONE from Holland has been reading our blogs!! Could it be Rene Hoksbergen himself?
For further reading on the topic of informing people about Joan’s lies and activities see the following posts on Ruth’s blog. A liar can NEVER cover all their tracks…the truth always comes out!

What I find interesting and amusing is that several months ago I sent Hoksbergen a private message via facebook upbraiding him for his support of Joan Wheeler – and I told him in no uncertain terms that he needs to drop support of Joan because of the lies she told about him and me in her book. She says that he came to my house – he was NEVER in my house. She describes me as yelling and screaming at him – no, I never did. I met him once – AT JOAN’S HOUSE. And I barely spoke to the man as I am shy around new people – besides, unlike Joan, I HAVE MANNERS.

I challenged Hoksbergen to come forward and TELL THE TRUTH about his meeting me, his never being in my house, my never yelling at him. – He hasn’t had the courage to come forward. WHY?

Another amusing point – I sent Hoksbergen a friend request on facebook – AND HE ACCEPTED IT! What an ass! I don’t want to be his friend – I wanted to see what he was going to do!

So – he is one my facebook friend list AND on Joan’s facebook friends list. What is he trying to prove? Is he spying on me? Well fine – because when a real juicy blog post here on Gert’s blog – or my blog – gets publicized on my facebook page, it automatically shows up on the newsfeeds of ALL my friends – Hoksbergen included. So he can see right away what we write on our blogs about HIM (when we do) and his little “friend” Joni Wheeler. — wonder just how “friendly” they were! ha ha ha. – I don’t know about the professor – but I sure know about Joan.

pictures of Gert destroying a few copies of the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 24, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
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In my post “The Big Book Buying Burning Burial of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler” on December 16, 2011, I blog about how Gert bought 30 copies of Joan Wheeler’s lying book Forbidden Family. With those 30 copies, the initial print run of the book has been exhausted. Additional copies were printed up to fulfill Gert’s purchase orders via Amazon.com. Trafford Publications, who published this foul book pulled the book from publication when they found out that Joan Wheeler violated her contract with them (she willingly and knowingly defrauded Trafford). They pulled the book on May 9, 2011. In a phone conversation with them in October, Gert learned that an internal audit showed recent purchases of 31 copies. This accurately reflected Gert’s 30 purchases and my recent purchase of 1 in May 2011. Since most of these books were being printed by Amazon.com, and Trafford wanted the book to NOT be printed anymore, Trafford sent a directive to Amazon to cease this. Any copies listed as available on Amazon is just a come-on sales gimmick. And Joan’s book was “hardly a best seller” as Trafford told Gert and me.

In my original blog post I forgot to add these pictures – so here we go. These were taken in Gert’s house in July 2011. The pictures and the captions all speak for themselves.

pile of books on Gert’s bed:

Gert ripping up a book:

Gert putting a page in the shredder:

it is satisfying to destroy this lying piece of shit book!


by her own words, on her own website, Joan Wheeler admits to fraud December 24, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Here is a screenshot that I took of Joan Wheeler’s “About” page on her Forbidden Family website.
this is her trying to justify her publishing MY childhood photo on the back of her book. I took this screenshot on December 24, 2011 0500 (5:00am).

Carefully read what she has to say:
“This photograph of my natural family was taken in Autumn of 1955. My mother is pregnant with me. This is the only family “portrait” I have. My deceased natural mother’s sister (my aunt) sent the photograph to my adoptive aunt who then gave the  photograph to my adoptive parents in 1956. My adoptive mother gave me the photograph when I was 18 years old and newly reunited with my natural family.”

Okay, first – we have no way of knowing exactly what month this picture was taken – it could have been early summer 1955. Because I, (in my father’s arms), am awful small for a three year old. This picture could have even been taken in 1954 when I was 2 years old. – Whatever – the other point is – even if Mom was pregnant – (she looks fat – NOT pregnant) – Joan was NOT a legal entity when the photograph was taken.

Joan admits right here that she was not given a paper copy of the photo until she was 18 years old in 1974. Since I and other members of the extended Herr family – my mother’s siblings and their children also had copies of this same photo – it shows us that this photo was widely distributed AFTER my mother’s death. This photo could have been taken by any number of persons – my paternal grandmother, who only lived a few blocks from us, a member of the Herr family, heck, it could even have been taken by our landlord Mr. Johnson. (not Williams, Joan – JOHNSON).

In the terms and conditions set forth by Trafford Publications for their authors, it is stipulated that the author must own the sole copyright to the work and ALL IT’S CONTENT.

So how does Joan Wheeler think she owns the sole copyright of a photograph that she is NOT in, was NOT the photographer, did not even see it, or own a COPY of until 18 years AFTER the photo was taken?

And Joan, my dear, if I find out that you took MY baby picture and took out a copyright/patent on MY baby picture – YOU ARE GUILTY OF FRAUD!

That’s right readers, (pay attention Lori Corangelo) – JOAN WHEELER DEFRAUDED TRAFFORD PUBLICATIONS WHEN SHE SIGNED THE CONTRACT WITH THEM. AND I WILL GO AFTER JOAN VIA MY ATTORNEY IF I FIND OUT THAT SHE OBTAINED A FRAUDULENT COPYRIGHT ON MY PHOTOGRAPH. – and you will end up in jail – or the psych ward – I don’t care which – just as long as you get put away so you can stop your lying on the internet and stop your lying mouth!

some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her December 22, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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In her book, Joan complains about my cousin Gail. Gail died of cancer in 2003 at the age of 49. She had been battling it for a few years. And while she was battling cancer, she was being harassed by the bully Joan Wheeler.

Now my sister Gert had moved from Buffalo in 1982 and did not know a lot of what was happening in Buffalo. In an email yesterday, I mentioned something about Gail and Gert emailed me back and said she didn’t know all about the Gail thing. So I elaborated. Then I thought – I was going to get into this on the blog in the future, but since I typed it all out now, I may as well just go ahead and blog it now. So here is what I wrote to Gert this morning, via email. I have only changed a couple of names. Read on and see what a “nice” person Joan Wheeler is.

The Gail thing started in 1993 when Joan’s daughter got sick with the hypothroidism -and Joan wanted information if anyone else in the family had similar medical problems. no problems there, just a mother wanting to give info to the doctors. Since she had burnt her bridges with Gert and Ruth, and was in the process of burning them with Kathy, she turned to the extended family. Nobody paid attention to her and just said they didn’t know anything. Dad was his usual helpful self – meaning – no help at all. Gail got a few phone calls from Joan and ignored her. Then Joan sent a packet of medical information about her daughter to Gail. Gail saw the return address and marked “Return to Sender.” Joan then called her at 10pm, when Gail and Kevin were in bed and left a screaming message on the machine – “don’t you know this is IMPORTANT MEDICAL INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE YOUR SON?” Kevin wanted to pick up the phone and bitch Joan out but Gail said to just ignore her.

 Sometime in 1997 or 1998, Joan had a busted windshield and went to get it fixed. By chance – the repairman was R.M.III. (h they were both thrilled that they were cousins. And Joan went to his house for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to stay away from her because of the shit she had done to me. R. gave Joan the cold shoulder and hung up on her once. She called his job and tried to make trouble for him (sound familiar?) In the meantime, I got a letter from Joan accusing Gail, R, me and Francine of plotting against her. Fran came by for lunch and I read her the letter and Fran said, “but – but – I never met your cousin R.”

 Joan started writing letters to Gail, which she kept refusing. Gail made a complaint to the Town of Eden police. They sent Joan a letter telling her NOT to contact Gail. She sent Gail another letter. (by this time it was 1999). Gail was about to return to sender and drop it in the mailbox when she noticed something funny about the return address. It had the wrong zipcode on it – and Joan’s street address wasn’t quite right. The zipcode was actually GAIL’S ZIPCODE! and Joan’s street name was not spelled right. This would make the post office not be able to find Joan’s house and bring it RIGHT BACK TO GAIL. Gail said “enough.” and took it right to the police. They called Joan up and asked did you not get our letter telling you not to contact Mrs. B.?” She said yes. They asked her, “and did you just send her this letter?” She said yes. The police said ok, and hung up. he opened the letter and started reading it and was laughing, and Gail said what was it? And he started reading it – it was the same bullshit about Gail refusing to learn medical information to save her son, and plotting with Ruth to “get” her. While this was going on – the phone at the police station rang and it was Joan wanting to know if they, the Town of Eden police had called her. They said yes – and you will be hearing from the courts as well. It was the TOWN OF EDEN POLICE, NOT GAIL, who instituted the harassment charges on Joan – coincidentally the exact same month that I hauled her into court over the shit letter telling me John got the next-door neighbor pregnant. And because she used her friend Bo’s address (Carol in the book), without her permission – Bo. took her to court as well. So in one month, Joan had to answer harassment charges in Tonawanda, Buffalo, and Eden.

 From 1997 to 1999, Gail got several phone calls and several letters from Joan – and she refused to read them, and DID NOT CALL ME – to keep me out of it. It wasn’t until AFTER she got her one-year order of protection against Joan (the same as me and Bo.) – did she call me and tell me what she did. She wanted to prove to the family that it was not RUTH, but Joan who was doing the shit. And she called Dad to tell him that too.

 And it really pisses me off that Joan had the fucking nerve to show up at Gail’s wake. I was talking to R. III, when Joan and her boyfriend D.s (the one she met online) walked in. R. and I both gave her a dirty look and we both needed to go outside and get a smoke. While we were out there – we noticed everybody else was out there – either standing near us and smoking, or off to the side having fresh air. – My husband John went back inside to take a look – and came out – and said the whole place had emptied out! Even Dad came outside, talking with a couple of the Herr relatives.

 So Joan walks in – and everybody walks out. Even J. left. AND J. asked me when J.’s husband died if Joan would be coming. When I told her no, she said “thank god.” Nobody wants that bitch around.

 (Ruth’s additional comment, on my facebook page, on a link to this post, one of R.’s sisters wrote this:

 D. M. –  Have No Fear I Will Never Run Away From Joan Wheeler, I Will Speak For My Family, She Is Nothing To Us And Never Will Be, She Is A Blight On This EARTH…….NEVER GIVE UP FIGHTING ARE FAMLIYS HONOR,,,


1. RuthDecember 22, 2011

to clarify – at the end that was J. asking if Joan was going to show up at her husband Jerry’s funeral.

I miss him very much too. He was a wonderful man. And contrary to how Joan portrays the extended family “hating” my father (because of him not wanting experimental cancer treatments for my mother and not saving her life) – this cousin AND her husband, ALWAYS respected my father. And he of them. She always called my Dad, Uncle Leonard (because he was her uncle- and used to babysit us kids) and her husband always called Dad by his first name.

So contrary to how Joan portrays the Herr family as all hating my father – no – they didn’t.

Gert here:
You know…as I’m reading this and I know the characters, it dawns on me that NO ONE CAN MAKE THIS SHIT UP!
No, this is NOT any kind of story to ‘get Joan’! This ACTUALLY happened, by Joan, she has always caused severe trouble within the family, not just to us siblings, as this account of Ruth’s details, but everyone in the family.

do people wonder WHY we siblings have refuted the book Joan wrote, and why we are setting the record straight, and exposes Joan Wheeler for every toxic thing she did to us and our family.

Beware of Joan Wheeler!

3. RuthDecember 22, 2011

you are absolutely correct Gert – I did not make ANYthing up here at all!
And the sisters of R.III, having known what Joan did to their brother and their Aunt Gail, HATE Joan. NOT from any badmouthing that Ruth could have told them – but from THE FACTS OF JOAN’S OWN STUPID BEHAVIOR!

Joan says in her book that I, Ruth, turned Gail against her. No, Joan, YOU turned Gail against you. Do you honestly think that someone, in bed, trying to get to sleep because they have to get up early to go to work, likes getting a message on their answering machine from a screaming lunatic? (oh, that’s right Joan – you never HAD to get up early because you never held down a decent job in your life).

Moving right along – and to clarify another point – there was nothing wrong with Gail’s son. He was in perfect health. Still is. So what was that shit all about? “important medical information that could save your son’s life!” What a f’ing moron! Ok, so Joan’s daughter had some medical issues that may or may not be shared with biological relatives. You just don’t go around SCREAMING such things on somebody’s answering machine! By the time Gail got around to telling me this, several years had passed and Gail and I had were laughing our asses off about it.

Yes, Joan really knows how to impress people. Too bad it’s NOT the impression that she wants people to know about her – there is NO picture that I could paint about Joan that would tell another person how she is – it would not compare to the reality of her behavior! Me telling Gail what a nutball Joan is simply is not the same as Gail having heard first hand Joan’s screaming mouth – yelling stupid ridiculous garbage! And Joan even chronicles in her book how she screamed at people! and physically and mentally abused her own adopted mother and her own son!

Same thing about this blog. I am telling the truth here – and if some morons out there want to continue to associate with Joan – well, I can’t stop them. They will have to find out first hand what a nut she is. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her – after only a few months. Her whole book chronicles one broken relationship after another broken relationship – not just her ex-husband or boyfriends, but – family members from both her adopted and birth families and friends. Even former foster parents of her birth sisters, step-aunt and uncle of her birth sisters. I can add to the list. A former teen pop star and his wife. Two former landlords, a lawyer, a former neighhbor (who lived in the apartment next to her), my ex-husband, my friend, my present husband.

Everybody who has dealings with Joan and eventually gets to know her, and/or suffers from her shitty behavior all do the same thing – run the hell away from her!

UPDATE Jan 18, 2014…via Gert

I want to add a post that is related here where Joan attempted to get my daughter to commit a crime so that Joan could pursue a medical malpractice case. Yep Joan is one sleazy character.



CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED – stop whining and take the time to laugh at yourself December 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality.
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1. Schizophrenia —Do You Hear What I Hear? 
2. Multiple Personality Disorder —We Three Kings Disoriented Are 
3. Dementia —I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas 
4. Narcissistic —Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic —Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and….. 
6. Paranoid —Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me 
7. Borderline Personality Disorder —Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder —You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why 
9. Attention Deficit Disorder —Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy -can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away? 
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
11. Passive Aggressive— On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away)

The Big Book Buying Burning Burial of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

 Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family is NO longer available! It is DEAD!

 The publisher pulled it from their on-line market once they saw that the book contained libelous materials and was just a hate-manifesto. They dropped it like a hot potato and distanced themselves far away from Joan Wheeler. 

The book was never considered to be a best seller nor a mover and when asked about how many copies were printed and available the publisher used the terms ‘nothing to get excited about’.  (Ruth’s note: yep, Trafford told me on the phone “It was hardly a best-seller.”)

UPDATE, MARCH 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…




 This book was published November 2009. When we, the birth sisters, found out we obtained 4 copies; 3 for us sisters and 1 for my daughter. It took me a year of reading the book to get the full extent of the hate the book contained. In December 2010, a year from publication, I had contacted the publisher requesting a complete review of the contents. It took several months for the publisher to go over all the evidence, that Ruth and I submitted to them, for their task of reviewing it.

 Once we KNEW that the book was pulled from publication, May 2011, I kept track of copies available on Amazon.com. Before May of 2011 the number was never higher than 15. In May of 2011 available copies were 13. So Ruth and I decided that perhaps we ought to ‘buy’ up all available copies, using Amazon as our base of information. Ruth purchased one copy, but then I told her that she shouldn’t spend any more of her income on that vile book. I have more disposal income than my sisters or daughter and can afford to buy up the books.

 You wonder why we wanted to buy the books? To show that there was very little interest in her cause and life.  Joan wrote what is called a ‘vanity story book’ geared to a small sub-set of the American popular culture. By our purchasing of many copies and then stopping and NO OTHER major sales have occurred, before or after we purchased, proves that the book is not of interest to a large segment of the popular culture or to the sub-set of anti-adoption culture that Joan believes would be interested in her life.

 We also wanted to keep other people from reading the garbage, that Joan wrote, about OUR LIVES. The book is a lying, vile, hateful attack on both adoptive and birth families. We wanted to destroy them! Yep buy the books and then destroy them and destroy them we did! There might be a couple of copies available out there, but why would anyone want to spent between $36 to $50, plus sales tax and shipping, for a book that will never help them and is being reviewed on our blogs for free! (Ruth’s note: Joan once made a complaint to an online lawyer service (which turned out to be a bullshit service) and whined that our blogs was taking business away from her. Nonsense. She did sell a FEW copies, before Gert started buying up those books. She hasn’t sold any since then. In February 2010, Joan made an appeal to members of the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum to check out my blog and complain to Worpress and “shut those fuckheads (her sisters) down!” We got 180 hits in one day, with several obscene messages – all from the so-called “adults” who say they are advocating for adoption change. As if obscene messages are going to get them taken seriously. Out of 180 hits on my blog that day, let’s say several hits were of one or two persons coming to my blog two or more times. So a modest true number of persons could be around 100. Out of those 100, let’s say about half just didn’t have any money. What about the other 50? Did ANYone of those adoptees who came running over to my blog to start trouble even bother to BUY Joan’s book? NO! We would have known it – because we had ALWAYS been monitoring Amazon’s stats! And if Joan’s adoptee “friends” HAD been buying the book – Trafford would not have told me “It was hardly a best-seller.” No one is really interested in Joan’s life – whether we had a blog or not, whether Gert bought a bunch of copies or not. And Joan now has to come to terms with the fact that her best customers are the people she hates the most – her birth sisters Gert and Ruth. – Not even those adoptee “friends” of hers that came to her defense by attacking my blog – they didn’t buy her book, because they just are not interested in Joan’s whining – they just came to attack someone who put down an adoptee! – And since then, her support had dwindled. She whined to them in May 2010, and about 100 hits showed up on my blog. She whined to them in September 2010, and about 50 hits registered. Whenever she whines now, I get maybe about 10-15 hits. But I ask again, how many of them BOUGHT her book? NONE!  (HeatherUK doesn’t count – she bought it before Joan sicced the forum on me – and Heather is stupid anyway. She didn’t even catch the contradictions from page to page or see that Joan was chronicling her own alcoholism and abuse to her own children).

back to Gert:

 So from May to August, I personally purchased 30 copies of that vile book. I have purchase orders and pictures of empty covers to prove that I did purchase and destroy 30 copies of the book.  (Ruth’s note –  The books ordered in June, July and August 2011 were delivered with a print date on the last page of dates in June, July, and August at the printing plant in Lexington Kentucky. This means that by May of 2011, the original print run of the book had been exhausted. Joan’s initial investment with this vanity press Trafford, was only $800.00. From the original print run, we had bought 4, HeatherUK bought one, Pastor Ruth Willerth of Joan’s writer’s group bought one, I bought an additional one in May 2011, Joan shipped one to Holland, and another to Ohio or Idaho.  Amazon’s sales figures reflected an additional sale prior to May 2011. Gert had already shredded the copies she bought in May. She didn’t notice a date stamped on the last page. So the original print run could hardly have been more than 20 or 25.  – And we had been watching Amazon every week since the beginning of 2010 – with no sales being generated. – yep- Joan’s life was surely so interesting even to the adoptees it was flying off the presses!  – NOT!)

back to Gert:

 For the months of June, July and August my purchases averaged 10 copies a month. That means that Joan RECEIVED an income from those book sales and has to report that income to several government agencies, she will have to file INCOME tax returns to the Federal and New York State. The income she earned in those 3 months will effect her eligibility on the Food Stamp Program and her Social Security Disability income. Joan is a fool to have thought that she could earn a living income from the sale of this lying book! She would have to sell far more than 10 per month to get off and stay off SSI.  (Ruth’s note – and I want my share of this income as she published MY picture on the back of the book WITHOUT my permission – I am entitled to royalties for the use of my picture).

 So was it worth my $1000? Of course it was! Oh sure it gave her a few extra dollars for the summer, but, more importantly she NOW knows where that money and sales came from….me…and she also can now see the picture evidence of that book being destroyed!

 NO lawyer needed to get justice! Truth wins all the time.  

 Continuing on…. in an email exchange, October 19, 2011, with a manager at Trafford Publications I questioned why the availability of the book was still listed on Amazon and received the following explanation.

  “When I do a search on the internal print shop at Amazon I get the following message:

 The current status of this title is “Retired” and is not available for sale through our sales channels

 They show 31 (which almost matches the number your family purchased) books sold and the last one being August 15.

 Our printer in TN still shows: 

5/19/11 Title On Hold

  I apologize that this stills continues, although the print channels show as not available. We will again reach out to our retail partners about updating their records. “

 Now in a phone conversation, with the same manager, later that day, it was explained more clearly to me, that when Amazon shows, for example: available 5 new, 2 used, that is the virtual inventory NOT actual inventory; it is a general sales ‘come on’. Over time that shall be gone. When I spoke with the manager I had said that I purchased 30, which is correct. Ruth purchased 1 and that brings the total to 31, which clearly matches what this manager sees in his internal accounting.

(Ruth’s note,–Here is a bit of an explanation about Amazon.  The books listed presently on Amazon are nothing more than a “bait and switch” come-on. Amazon is a mostly automated site and when a product is unavailable, a customer will get a list of “related” products. As a regular Amazon customer, I routinely get emails with different titles of DVDs, books and MP3 downloads, based on my prior ordering history. Even on my Amazon homepage I get advertisements of different products that are “related” somehow to items that I previously ordered. And if I look for something that is not available, I get “suggestions” of other products.)

Ruth’s additional note – the title of this post “Big Book Burning Burial” is only partially correct. Our plans were to take the shredded papers left of the book and BURN them in my new barbecue grill. I bought the grill, which needed assembling, in July. On July 23, I sustained an injury at work – my right thumb and wrist were severely sprained and was in a cast for the first week and I had to wear a splint afterwards. So I couldn’t assemble the grill, let alone burn the the dam pages. When Gert came to Buffalo for a visit in August, she did the actual ripping the covers of the books. We fanned the covers out on my living room floor to show all the copies of the book that were purchased by us. Everything is still in a box, and next summer, I will put my grill together and have a nice bon-fire. The burial? Oh, well – I will flush the ashes down my toilet – and they will then travel through the sewer lines – where her book belongs. Meanwhile, here are some pictures of us having fun with this digusting lie-filled book that not only trashed us, but our mother. You trash my mother – you get trashed in turn. Joan trashed a LOT of people in that filthy book. Filth belongs in the sewer. And that’s just where it’s going!

Photo Gallery – When Gert bought her first shipment of books, it was delivered to a friend’s house near where she lives – he had a chopping machine that chops books up – in one swoop – sort of like a guillotine – CHOP! When Gert placed her second order, she had them shipped to my house. Her third shipment was delivered to her house and again she and her friend had a happy time ripping up books! Gert brought all the covers with her when she came to my house in August for a visit. Since my right hand was out of commissiion, Gert ripped the covers off the books that I had. Here are some pictures for your enjoyment.

First up – Covers of Forbidden Family on Ruth’s living room floor.

Next are covers and several copies of the hideous book.

the short little thing front center is a guillotined book – oh so appropriate for this book!

Next are two pictures of Gert having fun ripping up a book and placing them in an appropriate box.

Now we have Gert placing a cover in an even more appropriate receptacle – the litter box of Pippin, Ruth’s cat.

and now – for the best picture of this collection: a cover of Joan Wheeler’s shitty book Forbidden Family alongside some shit in the litter box. Shit belongs with shit!


1. chayeletDecember 16, 2011
Oh joy! My copy is yet to be destroyed- haven’t done so yet as I’ve too much else to do- but it will be shredded in the coming months, rest assured.
Oh yes, yes, JOY, JOY, JOY

As I am NOT finished writing about that book, I still have a copy, which has been falling apart at the seams, literally and I did complaint to Trafford about that.

I still have some covers that need to be destroyed and will have to use scissors because the shedder doesn’t like the paper and they are too TOXIC to burn!!

There’s you’re christmas gift Joan Wheeler!

3. RuthDecember 16, 2011

ARE WE NASTY? Some people may think so – but I’m not any more nastier than Joan.

Let’s see – 16- 18 years ago Joan made my life a living hell. She baited me to phone her (and like an idiot, I did) and filed annoyance calls complaint on me, hauled me into court even after the police heard my side of the story and recommended that she NOT take me to court. She did anyway. THEN she actively tried to break me and my fiance up. She tried to get me fired from my job. She tried to get me into jail – when I had done nothing wrong.

If I had lost my job or gone to jail, I would not have been able to make my mortgage payments and I would have lost my house – Joan wanted me jobless, homeless, penniless.

Then she writes me letters telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, tries to get a hitman to kill me.

Then she writes this f’ing book where she trashes me left and right.

Yeah, so tell me I’m nasty. And I’ll say “oh yes.”


4. RuthDecember 17, 2011

oh Joan – sorry to hear that your springtime love didn’t last – there IS a reason that ex’es STAY ex’es.

be sure to blubber on sneaky Laura’s shoulder when you guys have coffee. You are both sneaky liars who act like little girls and deserve each other. ha ha ha

Readers who are wondering what that’s all about – go to this post “A Lesson in Life: Duplicitous People are All Around You – Trust Your Instincts. and – Joan Wheeler jumps at the chance to try to stick it to me the beginning of June 2010.” and read how an ex cow-worker of mine couldn’t stand for me to boot her off my facebook page and then exhibited behavior more fitting to a 10 year old child than a grown woman. ha ha ha  and Joan just couldn’t WAIT to glom onto her – a match made in heaven – two wackos having a friendship begin because all they both wanted to do was gossip about Ruth. Oh they are both sooo mature! –  – that cow-worker is NOT a typo!

comment #5 is a trackback link, not a typed messaged comment.

6. gertmcqueenDecember 20, 2011

Gert here:

In the excitment of getting this post up and running we did not include ALL photos, including ones showing me burning the book! In July I had a bon-fire and burnt 6 copies of that vile book. It is NOT an easy thing to burn a book, whole. It is best to rip out the pages and put those in the flames…but I did it!

Atttention Lori Corangelo; Amfor (Americans for Open Records) re: Joan Wheeler, Forbidden Family December 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 


2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

 2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

  2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

 3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Now Lori go and read these two posts and read them word for word so you can UNDERSTAND what Joan Wheeler did –

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

 Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

You want open records Lori? That equates to the TRUTH, does it not Lori? We are open and TRUTHFUL here on our blogs. Can you handle the TRUTH Lori?

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions December 8, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I revised the front page of this blog on December 5 + 6, 2011. In that post,  I described what Joan has on her tab “About and Buy.” on her website. On December 8, 2011, Joan renamed that tab to say only “About” and wrote the following:

“Forbidden Family has been taken off the market by Trafford Publishing as of May 2011.
It was a short run, but well worth it.
I believe in my book and future success.
The book is not dead, only sleeping while another opportunity is sought.”

First off, she doesn’t say WHY Trafford  took her book off the market. Why not Joan? Got something to hide? Like the very TRUE reason it was taken off the market – for slander and libel and using a photograph that you didn’t have the copyright of.

If someone is going to make a statement like this bullshit – and she says she believes in her book, she would tell her blog readers WHY the book is not on the market. But like the master manipulator Joan is, she will tell only PART of the story. She won’t tell the TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Just little bits and pieces of sound bites.

She can say her book is only sleeping, and it’s not dead,but she’s only fooling herself and her blog readers. As to using the phrase her book is not dead – we see evidence that  Joan is reading our blog, because it was here that we say the book is dead. And we see more evidence of her delusions. It only took her seven months to admit that the book has pulled from publication. The book IS dead. She claims that the short run of her book was “well worth it?” Worth having the entire world know what Joan’s true lying nature is and exposed? Joan may  “believe” in her book – that is because Joan “believes” her delusions. She DID write in her book that in 1993 she was granted a one year order of protection against me. I have submitted on this blog the actual court document that says it was for six months. Joan says in her book that I was arrested, and placed on probation in 1993. I have submitted actual court documents on this blog that show that is a falsehood, slander and libel.

Joan continues to insist that she changed names in her book to protect identities. No, she changed only SOME names and kept her own name Joan Wheeler in the book. She put on the back of the book, a family photograph that clearly shows my father’s face. AND she names him by his correct name of SIPPEL. My father worked in City Hall and was well known. In his second wife’s funeral guest book, and his mother’s funeral guest book are the signatures of two prominent local politicians. My father’s colleagues and many other people knew that he had given up one daughter for adoption. This was no secret in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Further, Joan wrote an article called “The Secret is Out,” that was published in England and Holland in the early 1990’s. In this article, she gave out the correct names of ME and one of my sisters. In her book Forbidden Family, she  referenced  this article and where it was published, and named the publication. It is available, so any person with any reasonable amount of intelligence could read her book, find her original article and find MY real name, which is sullied in Joan’s book as a criminal, a computer hacker with my employer, and other disgusting detrimental claims to my good name and character.

Joan says that we sisters identified ourselves first on our blog – no we did not. I started my blog late November 2009. Her book had already come out in the beginning of November 2009. The book Forbidden Family was already offered for sale by Trafford Publishing BEFORE I started my blog. And in September 2008, on a now-defunct Blogger blog, Joan identified her birth sisters. A full year before the book was published and my blog was started. 

I started this blog as the direct result of two internet sites that Joan publicized her “new” book – the first one was actually an interview/article by ABC.com titles “Adoptees face Sting of Discrimination.” In that article, Joan was interviewed and she put forth many falsehoods, both in the body of the interview/article and in 5 or 6 additional comments. I submitted comments refuting her statements, but they were not accepted.  On another website, called “The Daily Bastardette”, was a piece promoting Joan’s book. In that article, there was a falsehood, put forth by Joan, and published by the website’s owner Marley Greiner. I submitted a comment, refuting what Joan told Ms. Greiner. Ms. Greiner did not publish my comment.  I was frustrated, because Joan was able, via these two sources, and her own new wordpress website called Forbidden Family to get out her lies and misrepresentations of my family, but I could not get out the truth. So I began this blog. I had known that Joan had a blog on google’s blogspot for some time, but never paid much attention to it. I did see the warning that she put out in September 2008 to the Wheeler clan, the Herr clan and The Three Sippel Sisters to “leave her alone,” although nobody was bothering her. I made screen shots of that warning, but did nothing else. I ignored the little child.

Apparently, sometime in the summer of 2009, when her book was going to press, she built her wordpress blog and titled it Forbidden Family and began to promote her new book. She transferred all her files from the blogger blog to the new wordpress blog.  In October 2009, on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of  Atonement, Joan wrote a blog post about Yom Kippur, but got some things wrong. As it turns out, my sister Kathy, converted to Judaism several years ago. She wrote a comment on Joan’s blog, a very nice comment, but it corrected Joan in the points she got wrong. Joan graciously accepted the comment for publication, and even left a nice note, something along the lines “I knew someday we would re-connect.” The two comments stayed on her blog for a few days, when all of a sudden, with no action taken from either me, or Kathy, Joan turned 180 degrees (this is very typical of her) and accused Kathy and me of spying on her, and getting her blogger blog shut down.  ???? What? — and then she dragged Gert into it.

Gert had not been on the internet AT ALL! She had a computer at home, for personal work, did not have internet access, didn’t go to public computers for such. Kathy was brand new to the internet.  With a brandnew computer, wasn’t internet savvy enough NOT to leave her private email containing her name, on the comment she put on Joan’s blog. Joan then emailed her and bitched her out! For nothing! Kathy was upset, and rightfully so. She complained to WordPress, she said that 1. she only corrected some points about the Jewish religion that Joan had gotten wrong, and 2. why was the webhost (Joan) emailing her and threatening her. WordPress went in and took down the post about Yom Kippur, and all comments as well. Joan became enraged! She left a nasty post saying she was not going to be censored. She went out and BOUGHT a website from StartLogic and began building a new Forbidden Family website, and transferred all her files from her wordpress blog over there. And then closed down her blogger blog and wordpress blog – but then said that it was The Three Sippel Sisters who closed her down. Which is a big fat lie. She closed those blogs down HERSELF.

That happened in September, October and the beginning of November 2009. I was not involved AT ALL with the Yom Kippur postings, nor was Gert. But I was sympathetic with Kathy. And I began this blog, the third week of November. I originally titled it, “Refuting Joan Wheeler’s statements about her Forbidden Family.” I ordered the book from Amazon.com the first week of December 2010, and received it a few days later. I opened the book and just glanced at it and saw many lies. I was disgusted. Since this blog had already been started, I went in and changed the title to Refuting the Book Forbidden Family. Her book came out BEFORE I started this blog.  So Joan had done the damage BEFORE my blog was in existence.

Joan also keeps insisting that she had the right to publish MY family photograph on the back of her book. NO, she does not, did not have that right. Joan says on her website that she spoke to a literary attorney. If she did, she misled them, just as she misled Trafford Publishing. Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishing in 2009, but in 2011, when they saw the actual court documents, and what I outlined in the above paragraph, THEIR attorneys agreed that Joan VIOLATED their rules of conduct of authors. 

The photograph in question is of my parents, me, and my 3 siblings. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until January 1956. She was not in the photograph. This photograph was widely distributed among relatives in the 1950’s and 1960’s. I don’t care where or when Joan was given a PAPER COPY of this photograph. Joan says that in the photograph, our mother was pregnant with her. We have no proof of that. She looks fat. But that’s not the point. Joan was NOT A LEGAL ENTITY UNTIL SHE WAS BORN ON JANUARY 7, 1956. IN THE WINTERTIME! The photo was taken in the summer or early fall 1955. Joan did not legally exist when the photograph was taken, therefore, she does NOT OWN THE SOLE COPYRIGHTS TO THAT PHOTOGRAPH.

One of the articles in the contract that Joan signed with Trafford Publishing was that “the author is the SOLE COPYRIGHT OWNER OF THE WORK AND ALL ITS CONTENTS.” In order to publish that photograph, Joan needed the permission of those pictured in the photograph. She claims on her website that “no permissions were needed to use this photo.” – WRONG! Because this photo was being put on a work that was to be used for MONETARY INCOME, Joan did indeed NEED TO GET PERMISSION FROM ALL LIVING PERSONS IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. She “claims” she had our father’s permission. I want to see his signature, and it had better have been notarized, because if it wasn’t -it doesn’t prove a thing – because Joan has been known to forge things.   

I am in that photo, as well as my sisters, and Joan DID NOT GET OUR PERMISSION IN WRITING OR ORALLY to publish OUR likeness on a vehicle for her to make money. Joan in the past has tried to skip around the issue by saying the faces were blurry and obscured by text. WRONG! The faces are not that blurry, and text does obscure faces of my mother, my brother, and my two sisters. BUT MY FATHER’S FACE AND MY FACE ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE. Since my likeness has been placed on a body of work that garnered income for Joan Wheeler, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – I hereby demand my share of all monetary sums from all sales of the book Forbidden Family in the years 2009, 2010, 2011. 

Many people in  the Buffalo area know my father, they know his last name, they know my mother’s maiden name, which is given out in the book. That photograph is well known by many people. We have a large family, and everybody knows who Joan Wheeler is. Joan had her picture published in The Buffalo News,with her full name given out – and she spoke about adoption. The following week, my father was interviewed by The Buffalo News and spoke about her adoption. In the interview HIS FULL REAL NAME, ALONG WITH HIS PHOTOGRAPH was published.

 Because of her many years of writing articles for The Buffalo News and other places, Joan’s name and circumstances of her adoption have been well publicized. On the internet, BEFORE the book was published, Joan herself was using a name that DID NOT LEGALLY BELONG TO HER! She wrote many opinion pieces throughout the internet on adoption, using the signature “Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel.” – Therefore, she gave out MY legal maiden name BEFORE the book was published.

In 1980, both Joan and I appeared on a locally produced human interest news story about adotion reunion. We were interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman and the half-hour show was televised on WGRZ-TV of Buffalo, New York. In this interview, we both gave our names, she as Joan Wheeler, and me as Ruth Sippel. Our faces were not concealed.  Neither Joan, nor I, were paid any moneys for this televised appearance.

Many people know me, and know that I have an adopted-out younger sister that I was reunited with, and they know her name as Joan Wheeler.  Many people  have known that for the last 30 years Joan wheeler has been writing this book. Therefore, when that book came out, and Joan started publicizing it on the internet, and it was available for sale, someone sees it, sees the author “Joan Wheeler,” sees the photograph, and knows that photograph – they can know EXACTLY who Joan is writing about. Whether she changed ALL the names or only SOME of the names.

Also, Trafford Publishing puts out a guideline for authors. One of the guidelines says, “even if you change names, if someone can recognize themselves in your book, you can be sued for slander and libel.” 

In a recent correspondence with Gert McQueen, Americans for Open Records Lori Corangelo says in defense of Joan: “first time wrtiers make mistakes.” oh – well! First time drunk drivers who kill people make mistakes too. riiight.

Excuse me Lori, these are NOT “mistakes” that Joan did. She was given a specific contract with Trafford. She signed that contract KNOWING FULL WELL SHE WAS MISLEADING THEM. And when their attorneys learned the TRUTH of the matter – they pulled that filthy book from publication. It IS DEAD.

It has been listed as available on amazon.com. But – it is a “print on demand” situation. Once the original print run was exhausted, any new orders via amazon would be printed and sent to the buyer. BUT just two months ago, in a conversation with Trafford PUblishers, it was revealed that Trafford has pulled the book from even that status. They know that book is LEGAL TROUBLE for them and want nothing more to do with it. Amazon is a mostly automated site. It is going to list 3 copies as a come-on – a “bait and switch.” There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.

People need to learn once and for all that Joan Wheeler is a con-artist. She is a consumate liar. She could sweet talk and charm even Adolf Hitler! She will only tell a literary attorney and/or agent what they need to know to approve her work. She did it to Trafford. And as soon as they found out that she conned them – they pulled the plug on her. Lori, are you stupid or what?

Joan – remember – you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. And your days of fooling people are over! You can keep on insisting your book is the “truth” and keep on ignoring actual Buffalo City Court Documents and YOUR OWN HANDWRITTEN LETTERS TO ME AND OTHERS that prove otherwise.

For Joan to LIE about past police and court documents, even her own handwritten letters shows just how mentally disturbed and brain dead Joan Wheeler really is. I am begging someone reading this blog, to please, please, get Joan to a place where she clearly needs to be – The Buffalo Psychiatric Center.

LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 


2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

Comment by Gert McQueen: 

This is very very interesting, indeed!!
As Ruth says:
“There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.”

There is definetly true! There is so much more to the story of Joan’s lying book and it’s DEATH! Stay tuned!

Make no mistake…the book, as she wrote it, is DEAD, it will never be republished. And…if she EVER writes another, she had better NOT mention the names and lives of the birth family…we give NO PERMISSION, for her to earn money off our names and lives.
Furthermore, we shall be always watching her to make sure she NEVER LIES ABOUT US AGAIN.

4. gertmcqueenDecember 12, 2011

Gert here…again…
Thank you Ruth for giving such a detailed clarification of the time line of when Joan published, on the internet and in print, lies about us, and when we got involved.

For the record…I had no knowledge of what Joan was doing, nor did I care, for years…I had about 3 contacts with her since 1980 and each one was used AGAINST ME by her.

In Dec of 2009 I was in the middle of a physical move when both Ruth and Kathy called me telling me that Joan published the book! I did not get to see a physical copy until late Jan 2010. I then got an email account and started emailing my posts to Ruth for her blog. It wasn’t until July 2011, when Ruth had a injury, did I get a blog of my own. In the past two years I have learned and read many many things that Joan has done that I was not aware of before but now that I am I shall make sure that everyone knows about them.

So Joan and anyone else out there that wants to believe in their own bullshit, be my guest and continue to lie to yourselves! But, truth wins out and liars are always shown for what they are!

If Joan is waiting for another opportunity she is going to wait for a long long time. Her story has been written and her history is NOW known. Any other book written by Joan will be looked at very carefully, believe me. Her book is not sleeping, it’s dead. Joan doesn’t understand the difference. Once a liar always a liar and anyone who thinks they can get another book published by that liar had better understand the nature of libel…it always follows you.

Beware of helping Joan Wheeler, you could find yourself in a law suit.


a couple of new posts… December 7, 2011

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Here’s a couple of new posts on Gert’s blog…

old front page post December 5, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
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new post -important – a must read! click on title – Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013

addendum to my post about Joan lying in the court on July 23, 2013 – she testified that she has NO connection with anyone from Buffalo General Hospital – I mentioned that she is facebook friends with one Laura Heath – Laura J. Stickney-Heath, whose husband Thomas D. Heath was caught redhanded “following” me on facebook on July 16, 2013. Laura is a former cow-worker of mine, who after I booted her off my facebook page, went seeking out Joan on facebook to friend her to — what? Combine forces with Joan to do shit against me? Anyway – Laura has listed on her facebook page many current and former Buffalo General employees – so tell the court again and perjure yourself again Joan – how you have no connection with anybody from Buffalo General – you’re a fucking liar Joan. And both you are Laura are shit trouble-makers. Grow the fuck up – both you bitches.

You don’t want to be part of this blog Laura? You should have thought of that before you consciously involved yourself and your husband in my life. It was over and done in 2010 – you are not wanted in my life – YOU and your husband began stalking me – now you are immortalized in this blog.

“The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.”
― Cheryl Hughes

errorist (noun) A practitioner of errorism. “If we let the lies stand unchallenged, then the errorists win.”
– David Gerrold

wolf kind

interesting stats for this blog – sorry Charlie, the FACTS from actual court documents win out over somebody’s “perception” of the facts, their telling the facts in their “twisted” way, and deliberate LYING about them.
from Ruth

my reply to Brian – Joan tells her story the way she sees it – and I tell my story the way I see it. end of story. perhaps you better get a lawyer.

from Ruth

be it known to everyone – that I consider this as added harassment by Brian T. Maloney and I shall be contacting my lawyer that Joan Wheeler is continuing her harassment of me via a third party, which is a violation of the order of protection that I have against her. As I am busy today with another matter, I shall be informing my attorney, the family court of Buffalo, NY and the Buffalo Police Dept. ASAP.

If a story is told with fabrications, misrepresentations and out and out LIES, that story is faulty. If the person telling that story is saying it is the TRUTH that person is a liar. If the story contains a lie about another person – that is called slander or libel. And it is against the law. No one has the right to tell lies about another person and try to pass it off as truth.

Actual court documents and police documents proved that certain aspects of a story was FALSE. The person telling that falsehood is a liar and is now paying the price for those falsehoods. When said person calls another person’s job with falsehoods – that is against the law. When said person gets slapped with an order of protection and sanctions her friend to continue harassing the lied-about person, the liar is in deep trouble.

This is NOT Ruth’s law – it is the law of the courts of Buffalo, Erie County, New York State and The United States.

One person continues to lie and manipulates another person to harass someone. AFTER an order of protection is issued. The second harassing person needs to butt out of MY life.

FOR THE RECORD: I do not know Brian T. Maloney. Never met him. Laid eyes on him only once. He has been cyberbullying me for a year now with Joan Wheeler’s sanction. He is now considered to be breaking the law.

No one who does not me has any right to be commenting on MY  life or MY family. Brian has been told repeatedly to BACK OFF. Gert and I had not responded to his crap since last fall. And he continues to stick his nose where it does not belong.  AFTER he has been told to stop. He has now crossed the line into the territory of breaking the law.

Threats, intimidation, bullying, repeating false 30 year old gossip. loser.


hey! come see me in my wacky world at facebook and twitter! – Midnight and Mythos – for some fun.

Lies are as dumb as the people who tell them, and as fake as the people who help spread them. – to Joan and her fake friends.

UPDATE – Nov 11, 2012 – new post: Nov 11, 2012 new info added to Gert’s post, re: Oct 29, 2012 attack by Brian T. Maloney

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS – are you listening Joan Wheeler? Are you listening Brian Maloney? August 29, 2012

candle light vigil for amurdered  little girl held in Cheektowaga, Tuesday night, August 28, 2012

 Updated list of blog posts pertaining to cyberstalker and cybercreep Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville. August 29, 2012

breaking news and a warning to authorites about Joan Wheeler, who I believe is a menace to

It has been said that I am out to “ruin Joan’s reputation – no, she ruined it herself by telling lies. All I’m doing is seeing a lie about ME and MY FAMILY and telling the truth, with actual court documents or letters written by Joan herself that prove that I am telling the truth.

CNN’s reporter Anderson Cooper’s tagline is “Keeping Them Honest” when he exposes various lies by crooked politicians and charities. How is my blog exposing Joan’s lies any different than Mr. Cooper’s work? Joan has no special immunity from having her lies exposed than any other person on this planet.

UPDATE July 8, 2012… – important notice about a creep named Brian T. Maloney:

be it known that Joan Wheeler has enlisted one, Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY to harass, browbeat, insult, belittle, intimidate and cyberbullying the birthsiblings of Joan. We do not know this Brian T. Maloney who has a blog ‘defendingjoanwheeler.blogspot’ and he has left a bullying remark on the Buffalo News website article on birther issue of Joan Wheeler. This man is an abuser to women he does not know.   By a sheer twist of fate, Brian is the son of the late Arthur J. Maloney, who was a well respected attorney in the Buffalo area, AND long-time friend and attorney of our stepmother (from the late 1960′s) and long-time friend and attorney of our father Leonard Sippel (since the early 1970′s). Mr. Maloney also handled the adoption proceedings when our father adopted his stepdaughter. Joan Wheeler cannot stand that fact and has enlisted Brian T. Maloney in her continued abuse and harassment of her birth family. Arthur also handled legal issues for Ruth in 1976 (landlord/tenant) and in the 1990′s – regarding Joan’s theft of money from Ruth and harassment of Ruth. Arthur was disgusted with Joan’s behavior. We are appalled that the son of a very sweet man (Arthur) is such an abuser and a harasser of the daughters of a friend of his late father. I, Ruth Sippel Pace, in representing the Sippel family, left a message of condolence on the online remembrance book for Arthur. I am shocked and disgusted that in return, I am called a dog by his son.

please go to our sister blog at http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ for more developments on this sleazeball Brian T. Maloney. And other dirty deeds by his buddy Joan Wheeler.

This blog is to refute the many lies Joan Wheeler put forth in her book Forbidden Family.  Joan M. Wheeler has bullied many people in real life for many years. When she discovered the internet- she continued to bully people. She has gone on various internet discussion forums and bullied anyone who is pro-adoption. In Sept. 2008, on her now-defunct Blogspot blog, she gave a blanket “warning” to her birth sisters “The Three Sippel Sisters” to leave her alone, which is what we were doing. In the same message, she ridiculed our chosen religious and spiritual paths. Throughout 2009, she gave out many private details of MY childhood, but also twisting the facts. Not only of MY childhood, but of our, her birth family’s – lives. It was because of that, this blog was started. Her book was published the beginning of Nov. 2009, this blog was started towards the end of Nov. 2009.  Prior to the publication of the book, Ms. Wheeler began a second blog, intended to promote adoption reform and promote her book. The book contains many lies and misrepresentations of me and my family. She also put forth many lies about me and my family on her webstie. In Oct. 2010, she put out a “cyberbullying” page accusing me and my sisters of cyberbulling her. But on this page, she has given out many more lies! So just who is the REAL cyberbully? – Joan Wheeler. Acting under the “Freedom of Speech,” Joan, via the internet, her book, and in person, has defamed and told many lies about me and my family. If someone has the Freedom of Speech to tell lies about me and the facts of her adoption, then I most certainly have the same Freedom of Speech to tell the TRUTH of myself and my family, and Joan’s words and deeds. WE DEAL IN THE TRUTH. If  we see somewhere on the internet where Joan has misrepresented us, or told lies, we will refute those lies and present the TRUTH.  We have also provided clear proof of our truth – actual court documents and written letters (by Joan herself), scanned and posted on this blog. Joan doesn’t want the TRUTH put out? Then she needs to take down that lying cyberbullying page, ALL reference to her birth sisters and family on her website, ALL reference to her lying book (which is now a dead topic, since it has been pulled from print), MY family photo that she has on her website. It is a picture taken of my parents, me, and my siblings BEFORE Joan was born. She has no copyright to it, it is NOT her family – it is MY family. She is NOT a legal member of the Sippel family – she has no rights to publish this photo or place it on any website or use it in any way except in a personal manner. By continuing to keep that photo on her website, JOAN IS CYBER-BULLYING US, by dishonoring a picture of MY DEAD MOTHER AND FATHER AND BROTHER.  And I have given her no permission to use a photograph of me at the age of 3, to be published for Joan’s monetary gain, or even on a webstite that is touted as use for “adoption reform.” Joan may use any photograph of herself for these things – BUT NOT MY PICTURE.  Since I, nor any member of my family is involved in adoption reform, all reference to us MUST BE REMOVED FROM JOAN’S WEBSITE. THIS INCLUDES ANY PHOTOGRAPH OF US. TO CONTINUE TO KEEP OUR NAMES AND LIKENESS ON ANY ADOPTION REFORM BLOG OR ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET – JOAN IS GUILTY OF CYBER-BULLYING.


Joan has a blurb on her website that says that her life is copyrighted. Well,  MY life is copyrighted too. Joan thinks she can write about other people’s lives but copyright hers and nobody can write about her? Talk about a double standard – what a fascist two faced scumbag! Joan Wheeler will not have  a second chance to smear my good name. Her book is dead, and it will remain dead. She can scrape more money together and self-publish that lying crap again, and the results will be the same: another death. Because she tried to defraud Trafford Publications, her credibilty is shot. And I will sue the pants off ANY publishing house or entity that puts out that lying crap book. And that’s a promise baby. That’s the TRUTH – AND THE TRUTH STANDS ALONE!

I write about my life here on this blog – I make no money from it. I strictly FORBID any person or entity to write about MY life whatsoever for the express intention to make ANY money from MY life. I also strictly FORBID any person or entity to use my name, my childhood, my life, my family for the express intention to write about adoption issues or adoption reform. AND I HEREBY DEMAND A PORTION OF ALL MONIES THAT JOAN WHEELER HAS RECEIVED FROM ANY SALES OF HER BOOK “FORBIDDEN FAMILY” FROM NOVEMBER 2009 TO THE PRESENT.

Joan says on her website that her book is from her point of view and to the best of recollection. That makes her book a “memoir” and NOT a book of truth. However, if it is her point of view that she was arrested (as she says in her book, and she was NOT), then she is either delusional or a liar. Either way, it negates her claim that her book is the truth. As to the book being to the best of her recollection, she has a very faulty memory. She did not do proper research to put forth THE FACTS. When we have put forth the TRUTH on this blog, instead of Joan admitting that she was wrong, she blatantly plows forward saying that she wrote the truth. Even when confronted with irrefutable proof – actual court documents – Joan still insists that she wrote the truth.

Joan is not fooling us. We know from personal experience that Joan is a master manipulator. She knows exactly what she wrote and how and why she wrote it. Her book is nothing but a manifesto of hate against anyone who ever disagreed with her. It is a hate fest against her birth sisters and me in particular.

Underline texts throughout this blog are links to other posts or interesting websites. Some posts contain graphics. Many of these graphics are scanned copies of actual court documents and handwritten letters by Joan Wheeler herself.  These documents prove without a shadow of a doubt that Joan M. Wheeler lied in her book about me, my family and others. To see an enlarged version of a graphic, simply click on it. Comments are closed only to THIS post or old posts.  You may comment on new and recent posts. Don’t even think to lecture me. I’m probably old enough to be your mother so don’t even go there. 

This blog is NOT about adoption, anti-adoption, adoption reunion, or adoption reform, although we may touch upon those subjects from time to time. This blog and our sister site Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor  is to shed light on the BEHAVIOR of a BULLY, an adoptee named Joan M. Wheeler and to refute her many lies in her book and on the internet. With her many harassments and lies about me and my family, Joan has trampled on our human and civil rights. AND OUR HUMAN AND CIVIL RIGHTS ARE NOT NEGOTIABLE!

I do not work for, nor know anybody who works for the publisher of this book. I have no power to stop the publication of any book. It is up to the publisher of a book to cease publication and cancel the contract IF the author has violated certain conditions. In speaking with the publisher on Monday, May 9, 2011, the publisher told me that yes, the book contained many slanderous and libelous statements, as well as not having the proper authorization to publish a certain photograph on the back cover, as the author did NOT have copyrights to it, nor permission to use the photograph.  The book also contained hate language and obscene language, both prohibited by the terms and conditions that the publisher requires. Joan violated the terms and conditons set forth BY THE PUBLISHER, not The Three Sippel Sisters, collectively, or individually.

Joan Wheeler still maintains a website to promote her dead book. Under the tab “About and Buy” this book is still listed for sale. There is a link to the publisher’s old page that sold the book, but when you click on the link, you are told the book is unavailable. Because it is no longer being printed, will not printed. (see important note at the end of this post below).

Also on her website, Joan continues to tell lies about me and other members of my family. She also has a separate website about cyberbullies, accusing me and my sisters of cyberbullying her. This website contains many falsehoods and slander. Until Joan, the real cyberbully, takes down that website, and removes all mention of her birth sisters on her Forbidden Family website, this blog and its sister site Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor, maintained by my sister Gert McQueen. http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ will remain in existence. Joan’s website Forbidden Family is supposed to be about anti-adoption and adoption reform. Since my sisters and I are not involved in this, our names, and anything about us, does not belong on her blog.

Joan also continues to spread falsehoods about us and our family on various internet websites. She is hereby directed to stop this. 

Warning: Extreme truth telling and refuting of lies  done on this blog. And extreme reporting of FACTS done here!  — If a person has the Freedom of Speech to publish a lie about me, then I have the Freedom of Speech to refute that lie and tell the truth about myself.   – Adult topics are occasionally discussed on this blog, with the occasional use of strong language,

Two days after updating this front page (December 5 + 6, 2011) on December 8, 2011 Joan decided to update her website. Particularly her “About and Buy” page. Please read this very important blog post: “Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions,” to see her how she deals with being faced with IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT SHE LIED IN HER BOOK! 

I hate a liar more than I hate a thief because a ” thief ” is only after my salary but a liar is after my reality…. Quoted by 50 Cent

I never lie because I don’t fear anyone. You only lie when you’re afraid. ~John Gotti

The best way to deal with bullshit is spread it out in the sun to dry. It stops stinking and it fertilizes the field so something green can grow.  …whenever someone stirs the shit, I make sure they get to lick the spoon. It’s only fair. — David Gerrold – (note to Dave, from Ruth – Thank you Dave, this here redhead will be bringing you some chocolate tribbles).  – Dave is another chocoholic — yum!

It’always a good idea to keep your enemies close by. Because the stupider, they get. The more slipping they will do without noticing. – Madamstar!

Part of being a grownup is to respect the feelings of others.  – David Gerrold
(Joan Wheeler has NEVER respected my feelings – Ruth Pace)

visit me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RuthSippelPace

another post on bullying December 1, 2011

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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another must read post…come on over and read it!


The use of certain figures of speech can be a sign of more tactics of bullying and passive aggression, by Joan Wheeler and Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change

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