some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her December 22, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, stupidity
In her book, Joan complains about my cousin Gail. Gail died of cancer in 2003 at the age of 49. She had been battling it for a few years. And while she was battling cancer, she was being harassed by the bully Joan Wheeler.
Now my sister Gert had moved from Buffalo in 1982 and did not know a lot of what was happening in Buffalo. In an email yesterday, I mentioned something about Gail and Gert emailed me back and said she didn’t know all about the Gail thing. So I elaborated. Then I thought – I was going to get into this on the blog in the future, but since I typed it all out now, I may as well just go ahead and blog it now. So here is what I wrote to Gert this morning, via email. I have only changed a couple of names. Read on and see what a “nice” person Joan Wheeler is.
The Gail thing started in 1993 when Joan’s daughter got sick with the hypothroidism -and Joan wanted information if anyone else in the family had similar medical problems. no problems there, just a mother wanting to give info to the doctors. Since she had burnt her bridges with Gert and Ruth, and was in the process of burning them with Kathy, she turned to the extended family. Nobody paid attention to her and just said they didn’t know anything. Dad was his usual helpful self – meaning – no help at all. Gail got a few phone calls from Joan and ignored her. Then Joan sent a packet of medical information about her daughter to Gail. Gail saw the return address and marked “Return to Sender.” Joan then called her at 10pm, when Gail and Kevin were in bed and left a screaming message on the machine – “don’t you know this is IMPORTANT MEDICAL INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE YOUR SON?” Kevin wanted to pick up the phone and bitch Joan out but Gail said to just ignore her.
Sometime in 1997 or 1998, Joan had a busted windshield and went to get it fixed. By chance – the repairman was R.M.III. (h they were both thrilled that they were cousins. And Joan went to his house for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to stay away from her because of the shit she had done to me. R. gave Joan the cold shoulder and hung up on her once. She called his job and tried to make trouble for him (sound familiar?) In the meantime, I got a letter from Joan accusing Gail, R, me and Francine of plotting against her. Fran came by for lunch and I read her the letter and Fran said, “but – but – I never met your cousin R.”
Joan started writing letters to Gail, which she kept refusing. Gail made a complaint to the Town of Eden police. They sent Joan a letter telling her NOT to contact Gail. She sent Gail another letter. (by this time it was 1999). Gail was about to return to sender and drop it in the mailbox when she noticed something funny about the return address. It had the wrong zipcode on it – and Joan’s street address wasn’t quite right. The zipcode was actually GAIL’S ZIPCODE! and Joan’s street name was not spelled right. This would make the post office not be able to find Joan’s house and bring it RIGHT BACK TO GAIL. Gail said “enough.” and took it right to the police. They called Joan up and asked did you not get our letter telling you not to contact Mrs. B.?” She said yes. They asked her, “and did you just send her this letter?” She said yes. The police said ok, and hung up. he opened the letter and started reading it and was laughing, and Gail said what was it? And he started reading it – it was the same bullshit about Gail refusing to learn medical information to save her son, and plotting with Ruth to “get” her. While this was going on – the phone at the police station rang and it was Joan wanting to know if they, the Town of Eden police had called her. They said yes – and you will be hearing from the courts as well. It was the TOWN OF EDEN POLICE, NOT GAIL, who instituted the harassment charges on Joan – coincidentally the exact same month that I hauled her into court over the shit letter telling me John got the next-door neighbor pregnant. And because she used her friend Bo’s address (Carol in the book), without her permission – Bo. took her to court as well. So in one month, Joan had to answer harassment charges in Tonawanda, Buffalo, and Eden.
From 1997 to 1999, Gail got several phone calls and several letters from Joan – and she refused to read them, and DID NOT CALL ME – to keep me out of it. It wasn’t until AFTER she got her one-year order of protection against Joan (the same as me and Bo.) – did she call me and tell me what she did. She wanted to prove to the family that it was not RUTH, but Joan who was doing the shit. And she called Dad to tell him that too.
And it really pisses me off that Joan had the fucking nerve to show up at Gail’s wake. I was talking to R. III, when Joan and her boyfriend D.s (the one she met online) walked in. R. and I both gave her a dirty look and we both needed to go outside and get a smoke. While we were out there – we noticed everybody else was out there – either standing near us and smoking, or off to the side having fresh air. – My husband John went back inside to take a look – and came out – and said the whole place had emptied out! Even Dad came outside, talking with a couple of the Herr relatives.
So Joan walks in – and everybody walks out. Even J. left. AND J. asked me when J.’s husband died if Joan would be coming. When I told her no, she said “thank god.” Nobody wants that bitch around.
(Ruth’s additional comment, on my facebook page, on a link to this post, one of R.’s sisters wrote this:
D. M. – Have No Fear I Will Never Run Away From Joan Wheeler, I Will Speak For My Family, She Is Nothing To Us And Never Will Be, She Is A Blight On This EARTH…….NEVER GIVE UP FIGHTING ARE FAMLIYS HONOR,,,
- 1. Ruth – December 22, 2011
to clarify – at the end that was J. asking if Joan was going to show up at her husband Jerry’s funeral.
I miss him very much too. He was a wonderful man. And contrary to how Joan portrays the extended family “hating” my father (because of him not wanting experimental cancer treatments for my mother and not saving her life) – this cousin AND her husband, ALWAYS respected my father. And he of them. She always called my Dad, Uncle Leonard (because he was her uncle- and used to babysit us kids) and her husband always called Dad by his first name.
So contrary to how Joan portrays the Herr family as all hating my father – no – they didn’t.
You know…as I’m reading this and I know the characters, it dawns on me that NO ONE CAN MAKE THIS SHIT UP!
No, this is NOT any kind of story to ‘get Joan’! This ACTUALLY happened, by Joan, she has always caused severe trouble within the family, not just to us siblings, as this account of Ruth’s details, but everyone in the family.
do people wonder WHY we siblings have refuted the book Joan wrote, and why we are setting the record straight, and exposes Joan Wheeler for every toxic thing she did to us and our family.
Beware of Joan Wheeler!
you are absolutely correct Gert – I did not make ANYthing up here at all!
And the sisters of R.III, having known what Joan did to their brother and their Aunt Gail, HATE Joan. NOT from any badmouthing that Ruth could have told them – but from THE FACTS OF JOAN’S OWN STUPID BEHAVIOR!
Joan says in her book that I, Ruth, turned Gail against her. No, Joan, YOU turned Gail against you. Do you honestly think that someone, in bed, trying to get to sleep because they have to get up early to go to work, likes getting a message on their answering machine from a screaming lunatic? (oh, that’s right Joan – you never HAD to get up early because you never held down a decent job in your life).
Moving right along – and to clarify another point – there was nothing wrong with Gail’s son. He was in perfect health. Still is. So what was that shit all about? “important medical information that could save your son’s life!” What a f’ing moron! Ok, so Joan’s daughter had some medical issues that may or may not be shared with biological relatives. You just don’t go around SCREAMING such things on somebody’s answering machine! By the time Gail got around to telling me this, several years had passed and Gail and I had were laughing our asses off about it.
Yes, Joan really knows how to impress people. Too bad it’s NOT the impression that she wants people to know about her – there is NO picture that I could paint about Joan that would tell another person how she is – it would not compare to the reality of her behavior! Me telling Gail what a nutball Joan is simply is not the same as Gail having heard first hand Joan’s screaming mouth – yelling stupid ridiculous garbage! And Joan even chronicles in her book how she screamed at people! and physically and mentally abused her own adopted mother and her own son!
Same thing about this blog. I am telling the truth here – and if some morons out there want to continue to associate with Joan – well, I can’t stop them. They will have to find out first hand what a nut she is. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her – after only a few months. Her whole book chronicles one broken relationship after another broken relationship – not just her ex-husband or boyfriends, but – family members from both her adopted and birth families and friends. Even former foster parents of her birth sisters, step-aunt and uncle of her birth sisters. I can add to the list. A former teen pop star and his wife. Two former landlords, a lawyer, a former neighhbor (who lived in the apartment next to her), my ex-husband, my friend, my present husband.
Everybody who has dealings with Joan and eventually gets to know her, and/or suffers from her shitty behavior all do the same thing – run the hell away from her!
UPDATE Jan 18, 2014…via Gert
I want to add a post that is related here where Joan attempted to get my daughter to commit a crime so that Joan could pursue a medical malpractice case. Yep Joan is one sleazy character.