What are the facts of Joan Wheeler’s adoption? Certainly not the crap she says it was. Here is the truth of it. February 15, 2012Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, faulty memory, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
A lot of this stuff has been blogged about before – but it doesn’t hurt to do it again – in the hopes that it will eventually sink in that think head of Joan Wheeler’s. Because she keeps going on the internet and keeps posting the same delusions – the same erroneous fantastical twisting of the facts of her adoption. And we notice that on some internet sites she says one thing, and on other sites she says different things.
So I will start from the dam beginning AGAIN. – With the cold hard facts.
Joan was conceived sometime in July 1955. Around Christmas 1955, my mother became very sick and went into the hospital. We four kids at home were ages – Gert – (one month shy of 9 years old, Kathy, 4 months shy of 8 years old, Butch, one month shy of 6 years old, and me, 3 years, 4 months old). The doctors didn’t know what was wrong with my mother – she couldn’t keep any food down. On January 7, 1956, she went into labor and spontaneously miscarried the baby in her hospital bed. The baby was placed in an incubator. My mother’s health continue to deteriorate. On January 19, they did exploratory surgery, and she was found to be full of cancer. It was so far spread, there was nothing to be done. They closed her back up and on March 28, she died. Joan has reported on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change Forum that the doctors discovered a cancer tumor the same size as the baby – no they never did. At other places she reports the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. Read what I just wrote – she had exploratory surgery on January 19, 12 days after the baby was born. Other places Joan reports that she asked my father if there had ever been any plans to abort her and my father said no. Of course he would say that – because they didn’t know what was wrong with my mother. They had not discovered any dam tumor before the baby was born.
When Joan was discharged from the hospital, she had impetigo – a pimply rash that she acquired at the hospital. She went to stay with my mother’s brother and his wife, who tried very hard to clear up the rash. In her lying book, Joan says that her amom told her that when they got Joan (April 1956) Joan was full of sores due to poor hygiene. This is a lie and a slam against my Aunt Ann and my uncle Richard, who when was told of this a year ago, was very angry. He told me on the phone what happened. He was furious. So much for Joan respecting her godparents and the people who took care of her while her mother was dying in the hospital.
Yes, my mother’s brothers wanted her to go to Roswell Park Cancer Institute for cancer research. Yes, my father refused. It was his decision to make, along with my mother. My aunt Catherine told me that my mother didn’t want it either. My uncles, in their grief blamed my father. These things happen all the time. And yes, in the case of my one uncle, the bitter feelings remained down the years, but at least the two men just avoided each other. None of the family EVER took their feelings out on us kids.
My mother’s sister Catherine went to grammer school with a woman named Helen. After my mom died, my uncle asked my father what he was going to do about the baby. Because his wife was going to have a baby and there were other kids too. Catherine had just given birth to her last child, and had two other toddlers at home. My mother’s siblings had their own kids to raise, my father’s parents were elderly and couldn’t take on the responsibility of an infanct.
Catherine talked to Helen and Helen said her brother-in-law and his wife couldn’t have kids and wanted to adopt – so they asked my father (NOT at my mom’s funeral, like Joan likes to lie about). My father consulted his pastor and then agreed to the adoption. He re-married several months later. He had one year to change his mind about the adoption. He didn’t. The adoption was finalized in January 1957.
So much for Joan’s assertion that my father was “coerced” into giving her up for adoption. Yes, it could be argued he was grief-stricken, but he had a full year to consider the adoption – to change his mind. In that year, he married another woman. Who had two sons, one stayed with her mother and the other came to be with us. And yes, in 1970, 6 years after that woman died, my father married again, to a woman with two daughters, one he legally adopted in 1979. The facts that he gave a daughter up for adoption, gained 2 stepsons, then gained 2 stepdaughters, and ended up legally adopted one of those stepdaughters shows us how unpredictible and transitory life can be. My father did the best he could – making decisions on the raising of his children with the resources (physical and non-tangible) that he had at the time of those decisions. As any parent does. As any person does when making decisions with their lives. That some of those decisions affected another person’s life (for the betterment or detriment) is just a result of the serendipitous nature of life. – I mean, I could make a decision to quit my present job and take a job at another place – and in 2 years that new place could close down and then I’d be out of work! Unless you’re a very very good psychic with a very accurate crystal ball – you just don’t know what’s going to happen in life down the road. You make the best decision you can, and hope for the best. And that’s exactly what my father did. To hold him – and the rest of the family – hostage to a life decision that he had the right to make (concerning his children that he had sole custody of and responsibilty for) is wrong. Joan is a parent herself. I’m sure she made choices and decisions that affected her children too. Joan just needs to accept the facts of her childhood and MOVE ON! As anyone on this planet has to and does. She keeps looking backwards – instead of forward.
Instead of constantly whining and blaming her birth sisters for her rotten life – she needs to look at the results of the decisions that SHE made the past 30 years. Like publishing that filthy book full of lies.
Going back to 1956 – my father’s second wife came from a large Italian family. She had one brother and three sisters, all were married with kids. These kids became my “step-cousins” and I remember playing with them. Anyway – Joan likes to report on a fantastical tale told to her by her aparents – that the Christmas after they got Joan (would this be 1956 or 1957? Joan never says) her aparents bought a Christmas tree and presents for us Sippel kids because we were so poor. This story is pure BULLSHIT! My father remarried in the summer of 1956. To a woman from a large family. My father was not poor. He worked in Buffalo’s City Hall. Yes, we lived in a cramped apartment – but as the years went on, we moved to better places. This is how ANYbody does. My first “apartment” was a room in a boarding house – then I shared an apartment, then eventually got my own small studio apartment, and each time I moved thereafterwards my apartments were better than the last – and in 1987, I moved to a house, which is now MINE. I went from a room in a boarding house, working my way up to owning my own house. So what’s the problem? My father did the same. By 1965 he bought his own house, but by 1975, he decided he didn’t want the responsibility of it. And it is a big responsibility, let me tell you.
Joan’s aparents lived in an all-white suburb of Buffalo – her father worked as an electrician at Dunlop tires. That was a good paying job. And they had only one child – and Joan’s mom hand sewed her dresses. Joan likes to report that we kids were jealous of that. We may have pointed this out – but not because we are jealous – but to get Joan to see how nice she had it growing up and she should be appreciative of it. Yes, we other kids had hand-me-downs, but we were a large family. Large families do that.
My father’s second wife unfortunatley was mentally ill and spent some time in the psych center. One day, it was all arranged, we kids were at school. The ambulance came and took my stepmother. We kids were picked up at school by case workers and my sisters went to a foster home, my brothers and me to an orphanage – only about 4 blocks from the foster home. My father was with me. I remember. So much for Joan reporting that we kids came home from school for lunch to witness my stepmother screaming in the ambulance.
This would have been the fall of 1959 – as I spent my second grade at the orphanage, then 3rd grade I was back home. My stepmother died in 1964. Joan reports that we kids were placed in the foster and orphan home after she died. And she’s always getting our ages wrong. She chalks it up to “being in the fog.” If that is the case, if she is in the fog and is reporting erroneous things about our ages in her book and on the internet – CAN YOU TRUST ANY DAM THING SHE SAYS ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY? Because I have caught her in several contradictions in her book – and in one paragraph, she starts talking about me, then she starts talking about her daugher, then she mixes us both up. Yep, Joan is in the fog all right. And because she is, she needs to SHUT UP ABOUT THE FACTS OF MY LIFE, HER ADOPTION, MY MOTHER – THE FACTS THAT SHE KEEPS GETTING WRONG!
In 1960, my brothers and me came back to live with my father and my stepmother. Jo, despite her being ill, loved to embroider. She embroidered our bed linens – pillowcases and the like with all our names in the corner. She liked little flowers on hers and put little flowers on mine. She taught me to sew – or tried to. lol. Every Friday evening, she took me and my brothers downtown to the movies. We liked science fiction and monster movies. After the movies, we went to eat. I don’t always remember what I ate – but I remember always getting a chocolate milkshake. I remember Jo taking care of me when I was sick with the measles, bringing me a tray of chicken soup to my bedroom and patting my head. She took care of me when I came home after getting my tonsils out.
We kids had many many toys. I remember them all. I had my own desk with lots of crayons and differnt color chalks. The first Visible V-8 engine. I remember the doll houses – the kitchen sets – the little dishes, my set was blue with flowers – and they weren’t plastic – they were metal.
Joan can take her lying stories of MY childhood and shove them – she wasn’t there. She doesn’t know how we lived. She’s going by the lies told her by adoptive parents who looked down at us.
And every time Joan puts those lies out there on the internet – we Sippel Sisters will be right here, on this blog to tell the TRUTH of our own dam childhood. Get a life Joan – my life, my childhood is NOT yours for the taking.
1. gertmcqueen –
The TRUTH is always worth repeating!!! particularly when there is a nut case out there that is determine to expose and exploit, for fame and money….our LIVES AND OUR FAMILY
As long as Joan Wheeler keeps those two web site up that exploits and lies about us and our parents we shall continue to tell everyone, everywhere, just what a liar she is as well as all her DARK secrets and all her malicious deeds…
When will Joan Wheeler ever accept the TRUTH? Probably NEVER and that means we will continue on telling the truth.
time for another chapter in that lying book of Joan Wheeler! February 6, 2012Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
come over to Gert’s blog and read the next 2 chapters
‘I don’t understand your life and I never will!’; from Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler
Fake Shit February 4, 2012Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
Tags: Lies, SLANDER, stupidity
how can you tell if what is said on this blog is true? Because I have provided actual court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar.
how can you tell if what Joan Wheeler says in person, on the internet or in her book is true? – You can’t – because she never provides the hard and fast documentation!
you never get fake shit on this blog. We deal in the truth!
A lesson of self-worth to disolveme – get some joy February 4, 2012Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life.
Tags: Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, disolveme adult adoptees advocating for change, healing yourself, self worth, self-esteem, self-love, self-sabotage
okay, I know the purpose of my own blog is not to be bashing The Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, but I just read something over there and this HAS to be addressed!
First, this group is a bunch of spiteful, hate-filled, self-proclaimed angry adoptees who do nothing but spout hate at adoptive parents and infertile women. They claim they are a “support” group, yet I see little evidence of support.
Case in point: what I found tonight.
from member Disolveme
For those who believe..
in a God or higher being. I recently read somewhere, that the relationship you have with your father, can effect the way you view your relationship with God.
It wasn’t something I’d ever thought about, but in my case it’s so true. Just another way for adoptee’s to be screwed hey.
I expect to be nothing, to be rejected, unwanted, not good enough etc. With a very abusive adoptive father, who on a good day, pretended I didn’t exist. Didn’t speak to me, or acknowledge my presence, even if we sat at the same table. Expecting anything different from a being who has more worthy people to care for…ie anyone but me, isn’t so crazy.
Any thoughts on the subject?
Non believers, everyone welcome to post…each to their own an all that.
back to Ruth:
Here is a person who says that she is not expecting anything different from a being (a god or a supreme being) who has more worthy people to care for. Her post is answered by a couple of more adoptees,saying more or less the same thing. One did say she had a good relationship with her afather, therefore she has a good relationship with God. Another person asked to see the full article that disolveme cited. Did no one see what disolvme said? That GOD HAS MORE WORTHY PEOPLE THAN HER TO CARE FOR?
Where is the SUPPORT for this person? And look at her username: DISOLVEME! She wants to dissolve into nothing! And her fellow adoptees are not even supporting her by saying ‘Hold on a minute. It doesn’t matter what your afather said or didn’t say to you – YOU ARE A WORTHY PERSON. YOU MATTER!
Well, Dissolveme, if you want some dam self worth- you are NOT going to find it at that forum. Because all those other adoptees wallow in their own low self-esteem. One person with a low self-esteem canNOT help another person with low esteem. The only thing around that needs to be dissolved is that hateful forum. It is doing Joan no dam good. It didn’t no dam good for Steffi – and it sure as hell ain’t doing disolvme any dam good.
If they can’t tell you dissolveme any dam words of encouragement – then I sure will! – from the poem Desiderata:
YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE, NO LESS THAN THE TREES OR THE STARS – YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE.
and now MY words D. – YOU MATTER. YOU HAVE WORTH. YOU ARE WORTHY. I DON’T KNOW YOU BUT DAMMIT GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY TO YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE WORTHY TO YOURSELF. GOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT – YOU HAVE THE POWER WITHIN YOURSELF.
The more you tell yourself you are unwanted, you are not worthy, you are not good enough and expect to be rejected – that is what you are going to get in this world. You are a victim of a bunch of negative programming and you need to stop that shit and stop it right now! Look in the dam mirror and say to yourself: I’M SMART ENOUGH, I’M GOOD ENOUGH, AND DOGGONE IT PEOPLE LIKE ME. – that may have been a joke on Saturday Night Live – but it is the dam TRUTH!
or maybe you’d like this affirmation: I AM CALM, SERENE, AND CONNECTED TO THE UNIVERSE. Everytime you hear yourself putting yourself down, say one of those affirmations (or any one of a whol bunch you can find on the internet) and reprogram your mind – rid yourself of your bad habit of putting yourself down. Because if you’re in your own bathroom feeling like that, the only person who made you feel that way is .. YOU!
CHANGE COMES FROM WITHIN – NOW DAMMIT DISOLVEME – DISSOLVE THAT DESTRUCTIVE ATTITUDE AND LIVE LIFE THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIVED – IN JOY. NOBODY CAN GIVE IT TO YOU – YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. NOW GET GOING GIRLFRIEND!
Adoptees identifying with Batman and The Hulk (yes, Joan Wheeler is among them) – but Batman and The Hulk were not adopted. -hey – didn’t they ever hear of Superman? February 3, 2012Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
Tags: adoption, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, Batman, idiocy, mental instability, nonsense, stupidity, Superman, The Hulk
Gert posted this most excellant post over at her blog. I just had to reblog it over here. Because it is so informational.
First: in my comment I admitted that I didn’t Deeply Read Gert’s post. So I will explain.
Over at the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, one of the so-called “adult” adoptees admitted to identifying with the comic characters Batman and The Hulk. (ah, wait, don’t condemn them just yet – let me do that.). Then Joan, jumps on the bandwagon and says the same thing. – I have posted before that Joan doesn’t have any original thoughts – she just reads an interesting item and rephrases it.
ADOPTEES: why are you identifying with Batman and The Hulk? They were NOT adopted! – roflmao – they are just watching the new movies and have not a clue as to what they are talking about. As usual. anyways, here’s Gert post:
Grieving our losses, like DP said, is not a one time thing and really must be done over and over.
My mother died a few months after my birth, so I know how it feels to imagine her pregnant and giving birth, and then dying. I do have a few pictures of her, but it’s not enough. Every year on her birthday, I wish her a happy birthday. And every year on the anniversary of her death, I silently retreat into a private space, even if I’m in a crowd. Sometimes, my feelings are numb and I can’t feel. Other times, my feelings overwhelm me and I shake with intense saddness and sob. Songs will spark an emotion and I’m longing for the family I lost at the time our mother died. I can’t imagine what our father must have gone through. He told me of his feelings over the years of our reunion and he cried, feeling guilty that he couldn’t have taken better care of his pregnant wife, that my brother was sick with a cough, and his other children stayed at home with our grandparents while our father and a neighbor took my mother and brother to two separate hosptials. I think of the strain our father was in, and I think of how frightened my mother must have been to be that sick and pregnant at the same time. After my birth, she was told she was dying. How terribly awful that must have been for her.
Each time I look in the mirror, I see parts of my mother and my father. Yes, it helps to know what features come from which parent, but it doesn’t relieve the pain of separation. I don’t like beinig alone at night. I can’t get to sleep unless I read for a bit to try to block my racing thoughts. Or, I do deep breathing. I try to see a different movie in my mind, something else, something calming. And when I wake up, I wake up in anxiety over the losses. It is a moment by moment acceptance of what has happened. It is constant work. Happiness, for me, is fleeting. A freind of mine said for me to practice gratitude, but that just puts me in the place of being grateful for being adopted, which doesn’t help, as we know. Still, I am grateful that I have my children and that I know my story. Sometimes, you just have to sob and shake until the tears stop. It is an uncomfortable way to live. Identifying with Batman, or the Hulk, or any other charachter out there also helps because at least you see that perhaps someone else is feeling those losses, too.
My gods, it’s worst than I thought!
What the fuck!!! Identifying with Batman, the Hulk!! Okay some one else, on the thread, had mentioned these characters but why, why, even give such nonsense a voice! these characters are from comic books…is there NO real human being that these idiots can IDENTIFY with? and learn how to deal with pain and grief?
And this is a grown woman who says she is a SOCIAL WORKER and wants to help REFORM ADOPTION, who goes out in the cyber-world and beats people up because they are pro-adoption! No wonder Joan and all those that she ‘grieves’ with are messed up!
Joan obviously has some serious mental issues that have nothing to do with grieving.
identifying with a comic book character! Gert- you should be ashamed of yourself. – Comic book characters are good people to emulate. I’m just wondering why Joan didn’t connect with Kal-el (Superman) – because he not only lost his family and home planet – he was (gasp) ADOPTED by the Kents. His identity torn away and given a new name – Clark Kent. lol.
You know, I also suffered from THE LOSS OF MY MOTHER – at age 3 and a half. I also have my moments of sadness. But geez –
as to MY comic book heroines – I looked up to Saturn Girl, Supergirl/Kara, Wonder Woman/Diana Price, and Lois Lane. Vampirella and Brenda Starr. Women with careers – strong women. Women who took no shit. Women who also suffered losses but overcame them to have a life.
Joan – GET A F’ING LIFE! Because this nonsense about connecting to Batman and The Hulk is ridiculous. Batman witnessed his parents murdered in from of him as a child – you did not..(and little Bruce Wayne knew his parents – you didn’t. Bruce was never adopted – he was raised by relatives, – you were not).
The Hulk is The Hulk due to an overdose of gamma rays – you were not exposed to gamma rays. Bruce Banner, as far as we know, had a normal childhood with his birthparents. so again, this doesn’t apply to you.
Don’t try to talk to me about comic books – I’ve been a comic collector my whole life – I know all about them. For Joan to say she identifies with Batman and the Hulk just shows us she is spouting more garbage and lies.
Gert – I haven’t seen this thread – let me guess – some other idiot adoptee mentioned Batman and The Hulk and Joan, with no original thoughts of her own, just jumped on the bandwagon – I guarantee it. She’s a fool. And I can see right through her idiocy.
Gert here: Hey, I’m NOT against comic books or their heros, male or female. I’ll admit that I don’t know ALL there is to know about the art…hey, it took me decades to UNDERSTAND Star Wars!! and now I love it! The only ‘fantasy’ I read and know is LORD OF THE RINGS and all related stories…and they are based on factual historical mythology, legends and language….so give me a little slack!
I picked up on the fact, as Ruth did, that Joan did not have the ORIGINAL thought, about Batman and the Hulk…which BTW I have NEVER SEEN, again begging your pardon. As you can see, by Joan’s own words, she is REPEATING what someone else said. My point is…is…there any other charactor that can be used to identify with…someone that the rest of the world knows?
Besides that and my own ignorance of the world of comics and their charactors, I am glad that Ruth has enlightened us AGAIN as to the finer points that Joan and the other adoptees have missed by NOT including Superman! Hey, he’s a fine example of an ADOPTEE who overcame his circumstances and who doesn’t show his anger at the rest of the world. Superman actually DOES something worthwhile by helping people. Angry adoptees, Joan, why are you NOT like Superman?
by the way – Spiderman (Peter Parker) was bullied in high school. His first girlfriend, Gwen Stacey, was murdered. Peter never succumbed to the “Woe is me” mentality.
Peter was an orphan – he was raised by his elderly Aunt May and Uncle Benjamin. His Uncle Ben taught him; “With great power comes great responsiblity.”
The adoptees have power – with their forum. Despite it’s name “Advocating for Change” – they wallow in their self-pity and other than their wanting open birth records, I see very little “change” – all I see is hate, belittlement of adoptive parents and birth mothers who have given up thier children. they cut birth mothers who relinquish NO slack – no sort of understanding that the birth mothers are flawed human beings. All the adoptees can do is whine “what about MEeeeee.” Well what about the pain the mother went through? What about the pain infertile women go thru? – no, another human being’s pain means NOTHING to them. Joan included. It’s always JOAN’S pain. She never understood that her birth sisters had pain as well. – Pain which had NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ADOPTION.
With great power comes great responsibility. Think about it. And Adoptees – think about what you did last year to Steffi. An adopted person,transgender, very confused,came to your forum. In looking at Steffi’s posts – I could see his/her pain. Yes, Steffi kinda took over the General Discussion threads. Instead of an administrator sending Steffi a private message and telling her to tone it down- the adoptees held Steffi up to ridicule – yes – THEY BULLIED STEFFI – AN ADOPTEE WHO HAD COME TO THEM FOR HELP!
And they claim that their forum is to HELP adoptees? What help did they give Steffi? NONE! Because she didn’t think like they did. She was a transgender – she was beyond thier scope – but instead of helping her – they BULLIED her off the boards! disgusting.
- 1. Ruth
speaking of a lack of responsiblity – here’s another gem from the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change:
Re: Feel like I don’t belong
« Reply #4 on: Today at 05:44:18 PM »
I feel the exact same, I’m also waiting to search for my birth parents until I’m older and on my own. I despise my sister who is also adopted as well. Family gatherings are the worst just high lights the differences.
Marina doesn’t say WHY she despises her sister, who also is an adoptee. She just says she despises her. WHY – WHY do these adoptees HATE so much? To HATE another adoptee! oh geez – this one is really warped. – well apparently the thread was about differences – like an adoptee with blue eyes and blonde hair adopted by people of darker coloring – the adoptee doesn’t feel like they belong and begins DESPISING people. – even another adopted child. Who know has to deal with THEIR feelings of “not belonging” but the hatred of someone she has to see every day. Do you adoptees not see the destructiveness that abounds on your forum? All you people do is feed off each other. sick puppies – all of them. They need some dam prozac.
some new posts on Gert’s blog February 2, 2012Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.