jump to navigation

Adoptees identifying with Batman and The Hulk (yes, Joan Wheeler is among them) – but Batman and The Hulk were not adopted. -hey – didn’t they ever hear of Superman? February 3, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
trackback

Gert posted this most excellant post over at her blog. I just had to reblog it over here. Because it is so informational.
First: in my comment I admitted that I didn’t Deeply Read Gert’s post. So I will explain.

Over at the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, one of the so-called “adult” adoptees admitted to identifying with the comic characters Batman and The Hulk. (ah, wait, don’t condemn them just yet – let me do that.). Then Joan, jumps on the bandwagon and says the same thing. – I have posted before that Joan doesn’t have any original thoughts – she just reads an interesting item and rephrases it.
ADOPTEES: why are you identifying with Batman and The Hulk? They were NOT adopted! – roflmao – they are just watching the new movies and have not a clue as to what they are talking about. As usual. anyways, here’s Gert post:

 

How does Joan Wheeler grieve her losses? Over and over and over again!

by
 On the public forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for change…we find Joan, as 1adoptee, confirming that she will never allow herself  to get well, be well and stay well. There is grieving and then there’s grieving! And then there is stupidity and worthless self-pity and then there is just plain mental illness! There does come a point in, anyone’s, life when you just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get moving with the business of living!
 
This constant ringing of the hands, weeping and gnashing of teeth, the sack cloth and ashes, gets old pretty fast! I thought that Joan Wheeler had a mental health counselor that is HELPING her! Apparently not! The following rant, of Joan’s, clearly shows, NOT that she is grieving, BUT that she HAS mental illness and that she NEEDS to be on medications!
 
Not only does Joan continue with her lying ‘story’ and her fantasies about ‘how it most have been’…and of which contribute to her illness…but, she intentionally PUTS herself into these needless fantasies that are causing her the grief that she is fucking grieving!
 
One of the first things a person that has anxiety disorder needs to do is to STOP doing/thinking about the stuff that gets them anxious! If you are afraid of the world and the news…STOP reading the newspaper and watching the news programs! Go somewhere else…read a nice pleasant book, see a happy movie, PRAY! But STOP reliving, via fact or fanasty, all the thoughts that are causing you anxiety! Not Joan…she loves her pain.  
 
 
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2011, 03:52:26 PM »
 
 
Grieving our losses, like DP said, is not a one time thing and really must be done over and over.
 
My mother died a few months after my birth, so I know how it feels to imagine her pregnant and giving birth, and then dying. I do have a few pictures of her, but it’s not enough. Every year on her birthday, I wish her a happy birthday. And every year on the anniversary of her death, I silently retreat into a private space, even if I’m in a crowd. Sometimes, my feelings are numb and I can’t feel. Other times, my feelings overwhelm me and I shake with intense saddness and sob. Songs will spark an emotion and I’m longing for the family I lost at the time our mother died. I can’t imagine what our father must have gone through. He told me of his feelings over the years of our reunion and he cried, feeling guilty that he couldn’t have taken better care of his pregnant wife, that my brother was sick with a cough, and his other children stayed at home with our grandparents while our father and a neighbor took my mother and brother to two separate hosptials. I think of the strain our father was in, and I think of how frightened my mother must have been to be that sick and pregnant at the same time. After my birth, she was told she was dying. How terribly awful that must have been for her.
 
Each time I look in the mirror, I see parts of my mother and my father. Yes, it helps to know what features come from which parent, but it doesn’t relieve the pain of separation. I don’t like beinig alone at night. I can’t get to sleep unless I read for a bit to try to block my racing thoughts. Or, I do deep breathing. I try to see a different movie in my mind, something else, something calming. And when I wake up, I wake up in anxiety over the losses. It is a moment by moment acceptance of what has happened. It is constant work. Happiness, for me, is fleeting. A freind of mine said for me to practice gratitude, but that just puts me in the place of being grateful for being adopted, which doesn’t help, as we know. Still, I am grateful that I have my children and that I know my story. Sometimes, you just have to sob and shake until the tears stop. It is an uncomfortable way to live. Identifying with Batman, or the Hulk, or any other charachter out there also helps because at least you see that perhaps someone else is feeling those losses, too.
 
Gert’s comments: 

My gods, it’s worst than I thought!
What the fuck!!! Identifying with Batman, the Hulk!! Okay some one else, on the thread, had mentioned these characters but why, why, even give such nonsense a voice! these characters are from comic books…is there NO real human being that these idiots can IDENTIFY with? and learn how to deal with pain and grief?  
 
And this is a grown woman who says she is a SOCIAL WORKER and wants to help REFORM ADOPTION, who goes out in the cyber-world and beats people up because they are pro-adoption! No wonder Joan and all those that she ‘grieves’ with are messed up!
 
Joan obviously has some serious mental issues that have nothing to do with grieving.
 
GOOD GRIEF!! 
 
 

roflmao!
identifying with a comic book character! Gert- you should be ashamed of yourself. – Comic book characters are good people to emulate. I’m just wondering why Joan didn’t connect with Kal-el (Superman) – because he not only lost his family and home planet – he was (gasp) ADOPTED by the Kents. His identity torn away and given a new name – Clark Kent. lol.

You know, I also suffered from THE LOSS OF MY MOTHER – at age 3 and a half. I also have my moments of sadness. But geez –

as to MY comic book heroines – I looked up to Saturn Girl, Supergirl/Kara, Wonder Woman/Diana Price, and Lois Lane. Vampirella and Brenda Starr. Women with careers – strong women. Women who took no shit. Women who also suffered losses but overcame them to have a life.

Joan – GET A F’ING LIFE! Because this nonsense about connecting to Batman and The Hulk is ridiculous. Batman witnessed his parents murdered in from of him as a child – you did not..(and little Bruce Wayne knew his parents – you didn’t. Bruce was never adopted – he was raised by relatives, – you were not).
The Hulk is The Hulk due to an overdose of gamma rays – you were not exposed to gamma rays. Bruce Banner, as far as we know, had a normal childhood with his birthparents. so again, this doesn’t apply to you.

Don’t try to talk to me about comic books – I’ve been a comic collector my whole life – I know all about them. For Joan to say she identifies with Batman and the Hulk just shows us she is spouting more garbage and lies.

Gert – I haven’t seen this thread – let me guess – some other idiot adoptee mentioned Batman and The Hulk and Joan, with no original thoughts of her own, just jumped on the bandwagon – I guarantee it. She’s a fool. And I can see right through her idiocy.

COMMENT by Gert

Gert here: Hey, I’m NOT against comic books or their heros, male or female. I’ll admit that I don’t know ALL there is to know about the art…hey, it took me decades to UNDERSTAND Star Wars!! and now I love it! The only ‘fantasy’ I read and know is LORD OF THE RINGS and all related stories…and they are based on factual historical mythology, legends and language….so give me a little slack!

I picked up on the fact, as Ruth did, that Joan did not have the ORIGINAL thought, about Batman and the Hulk…which BTW I have NEVER SEEN, again begging your pardon. As you can see, by Joan’s own words, she is REPEATING what someone else said. My point is…is…there any other charactor that can be used to identify with…someone that the rest of the world knows?

Besides that and my own ignorance of the world of comics and their charactors, I am glad that Ruth has enlightened us AGAIN as to the finer points that Joan and the other adoptees have missed by NOT including Superman! Hey, he’s a fine example of an ADOPTEE who overcame his circumstances and who doesn’t show his anger at the rest of the world. Superman actually DOES something worthwhile by helping people. Angry adoptees, Joan, why are you NOT like Superman?

ty Debbie.
by the way – Spiderman (Peter Parker) was bullied in high school. His first girlfriend, Gwen Stacey, was murdered. Peter never succumbed to the “Woe is me” mentality.

Peter was an orphan – he was raised by his elderly Aunt May and Uncle Benjamin. His Uncle Ben taught him; “With great power comes great responsiblity.”

The adoptees have power – with their forum. Despite it’s name “Advocating for Change” – they wallow in their self-pity and other than their wanting open birth records, I see very little “change” – all I see is hate, belittlement of adoptive parents and birth mothers who have given up thier children. they cut birth mothers who relinquish NO slack – no sort of understanding that the birth mothers are flawed human beings. All the adoptees can do is whine “what about MEeeeee.” Well what about the pain the mother went through? What about the pain infertile women go thru? – no, another human being’s pain means NOTHING to them. Joan included. It’s always JOAN’S pain. She never understood that her birth sisters had pain as well. – Pain which had NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ADOPTION.

With great power comes great responsibility. Think about it. And Adoptees – think about what you did last year to Steffi. An adopted person,transgender, very confused,came to your forum. In looking at Steffi’s posts – I could see his/her pain. Yes, Steffi kinda took over the General Discussion threads. Instead of an administrator sending Steffi a private message and telling her to tone it down- the adoptees held Steffi up to ridicule – yes – THEY BULLIED STEFFI – AN ADOPTEE WHO HAD COME TO THEM FOR HELP!

And they claim that their forum is to HELP adoptees? What help did they give Steffi? NONE! Because she didn’t think like they did. She was a transgender – she was beyond thier scope – but instead of helping her – they BULLIED her off the boards! disgusting.

 

1. Ruth

speaking of a lack of responsiblity – here’s another gem from the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change:
Marina7131
Re: Feel like I don’t belong
« Reply #4 on: Today at 05:44:18 PM »

I feel the exact same, I’m also waiting to search for my birth parents until I’m older and on my own. I despise my sister who is also adopted as well. Family gatherings are the worst just high lights the differences.

Ruth here:
Marina doesn’t say WHY she despises her sister, who also is an adoptee. She just says she despises her. WHY – WHY do these adoptees HATE so much? To HATE another adoptee! oh geez – this one is really warped. – well apparently the thread was about differences – like an adoptee with blue eyes and blonde hair adopted by people of darker coloring – the adoptee doesn’t feel like they belong and begins DESPISING people. – even another adopted child. Who know has to deal with THEIR feelings of “not belonging” but the hatred of someone she has to see every day. Do you adoptees not see the destructiveness that abounds on your forum? All you people do is feed off each other. sick puppies – all of them. They need some dam prozac.

Advertisements

Comments

1. Ruth - February 3, 2012

speaking of a lack of responsiblity – here’s another gem from the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change:
Marina7131
Re: Feel like I don’t belong
« Reply #4 on: Today at 05:44:18 PM »

I feel the exact same, I’m also waiting to search for my birth parents until I’m older and on my own. I despise my sister who is also adopted as well. Family gatherings are the worst just high lights the differences.

Ruth here:
Marina doesn’t say WHY she despises her sister, who also is an adoptee. She just says she despises her. WHY – WHY do these adoptees HATE so much? To HATE another adoptee! oh geez – this one is really warped. – well apparently the thread was about differences – like an adoptee with blue eyes and blonde hair adopted by people of darker coloring – the adoptee doesn’t feel like they belong and begins DESPISING people. – even another adopted child. Who know has to deal with THEIR feelings of “not belonging” but the hatred of someone she has to see every day. Do you adoptees not see the destructiveness that abounds on your forum? All you people do is feed off each other. sick puppies – all of them. They need some dam prozac.


Sorry comments are closed for this entry

%d bloggers like this: