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A lesson of self-worth to disolveme – get some joy February 4, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life.
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okay, I know the purpose of my own blog is not to be bashing The Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, but I just read something over there and this HAS to be addressed!

First, this group is a bunch of spiteful, hate-filled, self-proclaimed angry adoptees who do nothing but spout hate at adoptive parents and infertile women. They claim they are a “support” group, yet I see little evidence of support.

Case in point: what I found tonight.

from member Disolveme
Disolveme
  For those who believe..
 
in a God or higher being. I recently read somewhere, that the relationship you have with your father, can effect the way you view your relationship with God.
It wasn’t something I’d ever thought about, but in my case it’s so true. Just another way for adoptee’s to be screwed hey.
I expect to be nothing, to be rejected, unwanted, not good enough etc. With a very abusive adoptive father, who on a good day, pretended I didn’t exist. Didn’t speak to me, or acknowledge my presence, even if we sat at the same table. Expecting anything different from a being who has more worthy people to care for…ie anyone but me, isn’t so crazy.

Any thoughts on the subject?

Non believers, everyone welcome to post…each to their own an all that. 

back to Ruth:

Here is a person who says that she is not expecting anything different from a being (a god or a supreme being) who has more worthy people to care for. Her post is answered by a couple of more adoptees,saying more or less the same thing. One did say she had a good relationship with her afather, therefore she has a good relationship with God. Another person asked to see the full article that disolveme cited. Did no one see what disolvme said? That GOD HAS MORE WORTHY PEOPLE THAN HER TO CARE FOR?

Where is the SUPPORT for this person? And look at her username: DISOLVEME! She wants to dissolve into nothing! And her fellow adoptees are not even supporting her by saying ‘Hold on a minute. It doesn’t matter what your afather said or didn’t say to you – YOU ARE A WORTHY PERSON. YOU MATTER!

Well, Dissolveme, if you want some dam self worth- you are NOT going to find it at that forum. Because all those other adoptees wallow in their own low self-esteem. One person with a low self-esteem canNOT help another person with low esteem. The only thing around that needs to be dissolved is that hateful forum. It is doing Joan no dam good. It didn’t no dam good for Steffi – and it sure as hell ain’t doing disolvme any dam good.

If they can’t tell you dissolveme any dam words of encouragement – then I sure will! – from the poem Desiderata:

YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE, NO LESS THAN THE TREES OR THE STARS – YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE.

and now MY words D. – YOU MATTER. YOU HAVE WORTH. YOU ARE WORTHY. I DON’T KNOW YOU BUT DAMMIT GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY TO YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE WORTHY TO YOURSELF. GOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT – YOU HAVE THE POWER WITHIN YOURSELF.

The more you tell yourself you are unwanted, you are not worthy, you are not good enough and expect to be rejected – that is what you are going to get in this world. You are a victim of a bunch of negative programming and you need to stop that shit and stop it right now! Look in the dam mirror and say to yourself: I’M SMART ENOUGH, I’M GOOD ENOUGH, AND DOGGONE IT PEOPLE LIKE ME. – that may have been a joke on Saturday Night Live – but it is the dam TRUTH!

or maybe you’d like this affirmation: I AM CALM, SERENE, AND CONNECTED TO THE UNIVERSE. Everytime you hear yourself putting yourself down, say one of those affirmations (or any one of a whol bunch you can find on the internet) and reprogram your mind – rid yourself of your bad habit of putting yourself down. Because if you’re in your own bathroom feeling like that, the only person who made you feel that way is .. YOU!

CHANGE COMES FROM WITHIN – NOW DAMMIT DISOLVEME – DISSOLVE THAT DESTRUCTIVE ATTITUDE AND LIVE LIFE THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIVED – IN JOY. NOBODY CAN GIVE IT TO YOU – YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. NOW GET GOING GIRLFRIEND!

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