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Diligence, Ridicule, Self-Actualization – Joan Wheeler tries to understand Taoism. March 17, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I generally have a good sense of humor. Sometimes it is a bit irreverant, and most times I don’t take myself too seriously. One thing I don’t laugh too much about is how people address me. In my childhood days, people would call me Ruthie. At the age of 14, I had a moment of self-actualization and I decided I didn’t want to be called that and ever since, have been diligently telling people to call me Ruth.

When my younger brother Steve turned 12, I asked him, “how do you want to be called? Stefan, Stevie or Steve?” He thought about 10 seconds, and said “Steve.” I thought of the little baby who I changed his diapers, who I sat with overnight at Children’s Hospital when he was 5, sick with pnuemonia, the little kid who I always called Stevie, and acknowledged that he was growing up. From that moment on, I called him Steve. I recognized the 12 year old young man in a moment of self-actualization, and respected him.

In my workplace, I am continually telling new people I meet “Don’t put the y at the end of my name.” I have had only one person call me Baby Ruth and get away with it. – He was the husband of one of the nurses I work with.  John is  a sweet heart. A little immature, but is just such a sweetheart.  Last year, a cousin of mine, who I used to babysit, joined facebook and called me Ruthy. I hadn’t seen Nancy since 2003 at her Aunt Gail’s funeral, and before that hadn’t seen her much at all the past 20 years, seeing as she moved away from Buffalo. I told her via facebook, “don’t call me Ruthy.” A week later, a distant cousin sent me a message on facebook, and called me Ruthy. I told her as well, “don’t call me Ruthy.” She got all bent out of shape, and actually started a fight with me. I won’t be bullied by ANYone, so I booted her off my facebook. And then, to prevent any other people from my childhood that are reconnecting with me, to respect me, I wrote this in my facebook intro: “Mae govannen!(welcome) from LadyMoondancer– My name is RUTH, not RuthY, or RuthIE. This is my personal perference, please respect that. I will be 59 years old on August 9, 2011. I am not a baby. I haven’t gone by my baby name since I was 14 years old.”

Now some relatives, because of their age, and having been calling me Ruthy since the day I was born, I will just let them. Out of respect for them. Their children, of my age-group and younger, need to respect me when I ask them not to call me that.  If they forget and still call me Ruthy (as even my sister Gert still does occasionally), I let it slide, because we are all human. But when somebody gets all bent out of shape and starts a fight with me on what I wish to be called – oh no no.

When we were reunited with Joan in 1974, she hung around too many relatives that were still calling me Ruthy. And she would occasionally call me that. I would tell her not to. And eventually she lost the habit. I sometimes called her Joni. She never  objected. I don’t know when, I think in the 80’s when she became a wife and mother, I sort of dropped the habit and called her Joan.

When I started my blog in November 2009, AFTER Joan’s book was published, and I saw the direct reference to an article Joan wrote in 1990 that had my true name in it, yes, I identified myself as Ruth Sippel Pace, the birth sister of Joan Wheeler. By referencing that article and directing her readers to it, she compromised my name. So calling me Brenda in the book was negated. AND she used HER real name AND only changed my father’s first name. And both she and my father, using their real names and photos, were in two articles of The Buffalo News. So my name was further compromised. AND she used a family portrait on the back cover. That clearly had my father’s face. So who is Joan trying to fool?

So now we come to a couple of rants on her website that Joan wrote on December 10, 2009. One sentance she wrote was “And why did I bother to change names in the book? I was thinking of YOUR privacy, but heh, guess it is time to use real names because Ruthie decided to jump the gun.”

Considering her book came out BEFORE I started my blog, no, I didn’t jump the gun. And see how she ridicules me sarcastically by calling me Ruthie. I never addressed this slur against me, until now. Because Joan has the audacity to put the following on her website on March 14, 2012:

A very long time ago, I subscribed to an online newsletter which is now defunct. I had saved the followiing quotes:
 
“When superior people hear of the Way, they carry it out with diligence. When middling people hear of the Way, it sometimes seems to be there, sometimes not. When lesser people hear of the Way, they ridicule it greatly. If they didn’t laugh at it,  it wouldn’t be the Way.”
— Lao-tze, 6th century bce Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism, from Tao Te Ching
 
“People have ridiculed the concept of the Way (or the idea of striving to thinkarete, self-actualizing, self-improvement, etc) for centuries. Remember Lao-tzu’s wisdom that if lesser people don’t laugh at it, it wouldn’t be the Way”.

Ruth here again – um, not sure if the word “thinkarete” is in the dictionary, – nope, it’s not in my Tenth Edition Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. mmm, let’s see, if the word cigarette, is the French “little cigar”, is thinkarete “little thought?” Addendum, March 19, 2012: It seems that thinkarete is a correct term after all – well sort of – it’s a made up term by a self-styled guru who has a couple of blogs on New Age mental health and health foods/nutrition and such. Well, whatever floats your boat! Anyway – Joan made this correction to her blog, attributing that last sentance to: “from philosopher Brian Johnson, Founder of Zaadz and thinkArete” She still doesn’t tell her blog readers what Zaadz or thinkArete is. that’s just plain sloppy, coming from a person with two college degrees and a self-advertised social worker (although she never worked a day in her life AS a social worker – talk about resume padding!) and it’s sloppy coming from a . . writer! And your welcome Joan, your gratitude to me to help you clarify something on your blog has not gone unnoticed. Just clarify it a little more. Accuracy is always good. Mistakes made should be acknowledged as such. 

Taoism has a lot of good ideals. Joan would be wise to study it further. And then put in to practice what she so blithely slaps around on her website. Because she just put the spotlight on her own diligent hypocrisy and ridiculing and bullying others. So Joan, how do you respect MY self-actualization when you sarcastically call me RuthIE on your website?

Joan, all over your cyberbullying page, your Forbidden Family website, on various forums and other internet sites, and in your book, you have repeatedly and diligently ridiculed me and my sisters by telling falsehoods about us. Joan repeatedly and diligently ridicules any one is pro-adoption. Joan repeatedly and diligently ridicules the Catholic Church. In her book, Joan repeatedly and diligently ridiculed the following groups: infertile women, adoptive parents,  Catholics, Polish people, inner city residents, trailer park residents (yes, she called them trailer trash), and poor people.

Joan, until you remove that cyberbullying page, remove all references to your sisters on your Forbidden Family page, come forward publicly to explain the many harassments you committed against me and the many lies you have told about me, you will always be one of those “lesser people” that Lao-tze is talking about. Because if you really were thinking of The Way, you wouldn’t be doing what you are doing.

Here is a screenshot of her webpage where she diligently ridiculed me and diligently denied my self-actualization:

And notice how she diligently threatens us by saying she will “give you trash talk of all the dirty little secrets all three of you have that are not in my book.” – We have addressed this issue before on my blog – we told her that we will not be held to emotional blackmail. That if she has “dirty little secrets” about us, she should just put them out. Because we don’t have “dirty little secrets.” I challenged her once before (about two years ago) to come out with whatever crap she thinks she can hold over me. She never took me up on my challenge. I have been truthful in this blog – to the point of posting actual court documents that prove Joan’s lies about me. Only “lesser people” resort to threats. I don’t threaten, I do. When that distant relative of mine on facebook got all bent out of shape when I told her not to call me Ruthy, she went off on me and threatened to “defriend” me. I read that, and immediately went in to my facebook settings and kicked her right off my friend’s list. Then I blocked her. Then I deleted the entire ridiculous disrespectful post. I didn’t threaten, I did. Because when I see that MY self-actualization wishes are not being respected, I speak up for myself. Because I have certain human and civil rights. And those rights are not negotiable.

“Threats are illogical, and payment is usually high.” — Sarek of Vulcan

gertmcqueen

Gert here…
ah..diligence and ridicule….
I too am very familiar with the Tao Te Ching as well as the I Ching…which I shall quote in this comment.

I was NOT going to say anything at the obvious ‘hit and run drive-by shooting’ that Joan did..but now that Ruth has I have some thoughts. If Joan was really attempting to show her ‘superior’ self, her self-actualized SELF, she would not have done this stupid little ditty. No…she is still the same immature little brat as always.

Like the brat she is, she throws a temper fit on our blog…making the contact with us that she says she doesn’t want and then when the heat is put back on to her, she crawls back under her rock…but can’t resist yet another little taunt at us! Sneak!! she only stuck her tongue out at us!!

Like Ruth at some point in my life I grew up and left my childhood name of Gertie. Likewise, certain people in the family have continue with that name and I let it slide. I have NEVER called Joan Joni, yet in her writings she slips, from those inner visions of her reality, and has me calling her Joni…that is HOW I know she makes shit up. Joan likes putting words in other people’s mouths. Joan has so many words coming from her own mouth that proves her to be anything but self-actualized.

All good comes when we are innocent…I Ching

what good has come to Joan when her lying libelous book, websites and other venues where she speaks are revealed?

Misunderstanding truth creates opposition…I Ching

Joan has opposition because she does not understand the truth…the truth of her birth family…which we, the birth family, have told and will continue to tell.

Joan do the right thing and remove those hateful libelous blogs.

Ruth

When Joan got married in 1983, she decided not to take her husband’s last name as her last name. She even printed up a one-page statement and distributed that paper to all those who were at the wedding. The statement was about how her name had already been changed, against her wishes, when she was adopted. And she went into the whole political thing about the significance of a bride taking on the groom’s last name, and it was all about the woman giving up her identity. But she did wear a wedding ring! And a ring is a symbol that you are “owned” by another person.

Joan tells us on page 228 of her lying book, that when she decided not to change her name “for both feminists reasons as well as adoption-based reasons,” her adoptive mother “couldn’t understand why a woman wouldn’t change her name when she got married.” Joan says that she received harassing letters from her amom, addressed to Joan Bell, or Mrs. Bell, or Mrs. Bell-Wheeler “and other combinations.” Joan says “My mother’s letters were abusive, nasty, and emotionally distressful.”

Well, well, well, Miss Joan Wheeler, so YOU don’t like it when somebody disrespects YOU – but it’s okay for YOU to disrespect others – especially when they have specifically said “don’t call me by (blank) name.”

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. And so AGAINST the ideals of Taoism, Christianity, and just about every religious and spiritual path on the planet. – what did Gert just call you? A little brat? Yeah, yeah, that fits Joan to a “T.”

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Comments

1. new post on my blog: Dilegence, Ridicule, Self-Actualization Joan Wheeler tries to understand Taoism « Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor - March 17, 2012

[…] this blog’s sister site, Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family, I posted this “Dilegence, Ridicule, Self-Actualization Joan Wheeler tries to understand Taoism” on March 17, […]

2. gertmcqueen - March 17, 2012

Gert here…
ah..diligence and ridicule….
I too am very familiar with the Tao Te Ching as well as the I Ching…which I shall quote in this comment.

I was NOT going to say anything at the obvious ‘hit and run drive-by shooting’ that Joan did..but now that Ruth has I have some thoughts. If Joan was really attempting to show her ‘superior’ self, her self-actualized SELF, she would not have done this stupid little ditty. No…she is still the same immature little brat as always.

Like the brat she is, she throws a temper fit on our blog…making the contact with us that she says she doesn’t want and then when the heat is put back on to her, she crawls back under her rock…but can’t resist yet another little taunt at us! Sneak!! she only stuck her tongue out at us!!

Like Ruth at some point in my life I grew up and left my childhood name of Gertie. Likewise, certain people in the family have continue with that name and I let it slide. I have NEVER called Joan Joni, yet in her writings she slips, from those inner visions of her reality, and has me calling her Joni…that is HOW I know she makes shit up. Joan likes putting words in other people’s mouths. Joan has so many words coming from her own mouth that proves her to be anything but self-actualized.

All good comes when we are innocent…I Ching

what good has come to Joan when her lying libelous book, websites and other venues where she speaks are revealed?

Misunderstanding truth creates opposition…I Ching

Joan has opposition because she does not understand the truth…the truth of her birth family…which we, the birth family, have told and will continue to tell.

Joan do the right thing and remove those hateful libelous blogs.

3. Ruth - March 17, 2012

When Joan got married in 1983, she decided not to take her husband’s last name as her last name. She even printed up a one-page statement and distributed that paper to all those who were at the wedding. The statement was about how her name had already been changed, against her wishes, when she was adopted. And she went into the whole political thing about the significance of a bride taking on the groom’s last name, and it was all about the woman giving up her identity. But she did wear a wedding ring! And a ring is a symbol that you are “owned” by another person.

Joan tells us on page 228 of her lying book, that when she decided not to change her name “for both feminists reasons as well as adoption-based reasons,” her adoptive mother “couldn’t understand why a woman wouldn’t change her name when she got married.” Joan says that she received harassing letters from her amom, addressed to Joan Bell, or Mrs. Bell, or Mrs. Bell-Wheeler “and other combinations.” Joan says “My mother’s letters were abusive, nasty, and emotionally distressful.”

Well, well, well, Miss Joan Wheeler, so YOU don’t like it when somebody disrespects YOU – but it’s okay for YOU to disrespect others – especially when they have specifically said “don’t call me by (blank) name.”

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. And so AGAINST the ideals of Taoism, Christianity, and just about every religious and spiritual path on the planet. – what did Gert just call you? A little brat? Yeah, yeah, that fits Joan to a “T.”


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