Joan Wheeler needs to stop spreading the same old gossip and lies her adoptive mother filled her head up with. April 16, 2012Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, impetigo, Lies, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
On Sunday, April 15, 2012, on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, Joan writes this following comment:
Re: Race, Religion, and Rescue in Adoption: Conference, NYC, October 2012
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 04:47:03 PM »
My adoptive mother always rescued orphans — baby birds, baby rabbits, puppies, kittens — she was raised in an orphange. It made her feel good to take in “strays”. And, no doubt, she loved animals and the other children she helped raise. I was the only one adopted. Yeah, there was that certain outlook in our home. At one point, Mom threw it in my face that “When we got you, you had sores all over your body!” And she said it with such sarcastic, rub it in your face kinda tone. Alright, I was an infant of 4 months, was that MY fault? Did that mean they rescued me?
On March 25, 2010, I blogged about this crap in my post “Joan tells a vicious lie about her own godparents on page 319 of Forbidden Family” Here is an excerpt of that post:
On page 319, Joan writes: “I also suffered through inconsistency of primary care as my mother lay dying in a hospital room. When I was released from the hospital my godparents took me in. As my adoptive mother told me, when I was four months old my father handed me over to them in family court. They took me home and were shocked to find body sores. My godparents, I was told by my adoptive mother, didn’t take good hygienic care of me in the few weeks they had me. My new parents nursed me back to health and made me feel guilty for it years later. “You had sores all over your body when we got you!” Mom yelled at me. I never understood why she yelled at me as I grew up. She made me feel as if it were my fault. Perhaps I should feel grateful that I was saved.”
On Friday, March 19, 2010, at 8pm, I spoke on the phone with my uncle, who was Joan’s godfather and who took care of her while my mother was in the hospital. My uncle says that Joan had impetigo, and she had them when she was discharged from the hospital. He told me his wife did everything she could to clear up the rash, and was just getting a hold of it, when my father came for Joan and gave her to the Wheelers. My uncle said, “Ann raised 4 children and did the best job. She took good care of Joan.” My uncle was outraged to hear this lie about him and his late wife. He also told me he had already fired off an email to Joan to “straighten her out.”
So once again, we see how Joan takes something that was told to her and instead of researching it, repeats the lie. She has had many opportunities in the past to ask our uncle if this story was true. But then again, could we have trusted Joan to tell the truth? No, because we see again and again, that Joan interprets facts to support her conclusions about things, if not outright lying about things.
Joan does say in her book and on the internet that her adoptive mother told her this nonsense about her having “body sores.” But does she tell her readers the truth of this gossip mongering? Does she defend her birth-uncle? NO! But all over her book and on the internet, she’s admonishing both her birth and adoptive families for gossip mongering!
She may have said on page 319 of her book that it was her adoptive mother that told her this crap – but she doesn’t follow through with THE TRUTH! And leaves her readers thinking this was the truth – when it wasn’t! Readers of her both her book and this latest retelling of this gossip on the adoptee forum, will leave with the impression that my uncle and his wife didn’t take good care of Joan while she lived with her. This is poor writing at best, and at worst, leaves the reader believing a piece of trashy gossip. Nice going Joan, I though all over your book you don’t like gossip mongering. I thought your book was the truth.
By leaving that vital piece of information out, Joan’s book is NOT the truth – and the result? My uncle was livid when I told him what was in the book. And he wants nothing more to do with her. She was kicked off his facebook page, and just recently his daughter, who just hadn’t gotten around to it before, kicked Joan off her facebook page.
So I suppose I will get the blame there. Of course, as usual, Joan does or says something stupid, insults people and gets them mad at her. And as usual, Ruth will get the blame. Yes, yes, it was Ruth who told her uncle and cousin what was in the book, so I am guilty of reporting it. But am I guilty of writing that gossip in the first place? NO! But Joan, in her diseased mind, will NOT take responsibility for her own actions. She will stew about her uncle and cousin not wanting contact with her, and think to herself, “It’s Ruth’s fault. She told them.” Never mind that they can read English and find that shit out for themselves. Everything all boils down to being Ruth’s fault. Ruth does nothing – but it’s all her fault.
That adoptive mother of Joan’s was a sick individual – she talked trash about us – the birth family and Joan came away believing it. And if she “re-writes” her book and explains that she had impetigo from the hospital – she had better give me credit for it – because as of March 2010, it was ME who reported the truth, and my uncle will not have told her about it – because he wants nothing more to do with her. And if the re-write contains this truth – it will show that she was NOT forthcoming with the truth in the first edition – which means all her statements that her book is a truthful account — FALSE!
And Joan, on her web page, wants to impress people with her ‘not harming people’!!! What a laugh!! Joan doesn’t have a decent bone in her body. All she can do is repeat lies and negative impressions about people, in this case, the birth family. Apparently Joan never was taught that ‘if you don’t have a nice thing to say about someone…keep your mouth shut’.
The birth family’s exposing of Joan’s words and deeds is just that….EXPOSING…the hate, the anger, the negativity that Joan has for any one who opposes her view…she is a very dangerous, vile person. We will continue to point out all these hateful words from Joan’s mouth until she learns to speak with dignity and respect of the birth family.
this particular lie and the retelling of it, is not only disgusting but it proves that Joan has no regard for those, birth relatives, that took care of her. Joan ought to hang her head in shame.
if she has a beef with the adoptive mother, say so, but Joan needs to stop repeating hateful, lies about people that are blood relatives.