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Final Notice to Brian T. Maloney (LION) of Williamsville, puppet of Joan Wheeler July 27, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Final Notice to Brian T. Maloney (LION) of Williamsville, puppet of Joan Wheeler

Brian, the following blog posts are all about you. Until you remove that abusive blog you have against us and offer a public apology to us for sticking your nose where it don’t belong – in MY family’s business and trashing my father after he was dead – these blog posts will remain in existence for all the world to see.

What you need to do is delete ALL posts from your blog – and leave ONE post up recanting all the abuse you heaped on me and Gert – particularly where you called us dogs. And don’t try to squirm your way out of it by saying you were quoting an old adage – “if you lay down with dogs, expect to catch fleas.” – This was directed to a person who supports our blogs and left a comment on your blog. So, no, you didn’t come right out and SAY Gert and me were dogs – but by telling Paula that she was associating with us, she would catch fleas – in essence you WERE calling us dogs. And that doubles your mistake – you not only called women you never met – dogs – but then tried to twist your words and tried to LIE your way out of it. – That doesn’t go very well with your Reiki healing.

Also, you need to change the name of your blog from “Defending Joan Wheeler” to “No longer defending Joan Wheeler.” And in that one post you keep up on your blog you tell WHY you no longer are defending her – because once she found out in November 2011 just who your father was and how your father was the lawyer who handled my father’s adoption of his stepdaughter, Joan kept that from you and whined at you and got you to do her dirty work. She played you for a fool – as a revenge at that dirty lawyer who handled my stepsister’s adoption.

Admit your mistake Brian. But I know you won’t. Because it takes a big man, a big person to admit when they’re wrong. And you are no man. You are a wimp, a coward and a creep.

So here are some blog posts about Brian T. Maloney. and before anybody takes me to task for writing so much about this creep – remember – I knew his father, his father was a long time attorney and friend of my father and stepmother. In representing my family, I left a condolence message on an online memorial guest book when Brian’s father, Arthur J. Maloney died on November 16, 2011. I never met Brian. I don’t know him. But one month after his father died, Brian started cyber stalking and cyber-harassing and cyber-bullying me and Gert. He should have minded his own business. He brought this on himself.

Hey Champ!! (Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY) Where’s your response to our rebuttals, to your defense of Joan Wheeler, on the Buffalo News web site?

How Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY trashed my LATE father on the internet – what he said about a dead man that he never met

Champ, the so called defender of Joan Wheeler, is slacking on the job!! …

Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler think they are in the right…okay they can have their delusion

I’m putting the brat Brian to bed and ignoring his temper tantrums – because that’s how you deal with brats – give them NO more attention.

Charlatans can be found everywhere and in every field of healing Brian isn’t the only one.

Brian T. Maloney has been exposed in a new comment that I placed on that Buffalo News article by Joan Wheeler (with a screenshot of his blog – proving how he abused and bullied us)

Brian T. Maloney is concerned for my health. aw gee. (my rebuttal after Brian insinuates that I am on psych meds – which I am not, never have been and don’t need to. Another example of his abuse of me.

Brian T. Maloney can’t do any Reiki healing on anyone – because he’s a damaged individual in need of healing himself. – with graphics from Linkedin where Joan and Brian recomended each other on November 11, 2011.

rampaging on facebook – funny? – not so funny when you find out you’ve been trashed by the son of someone you honored – Brian T. Maloney is no healer – he’s a menace! 

Fun and games on Facebook – re: The Nameless One (aka Joan Wheeler) and Brian “Chimp” Maloney (full of baloney) 

What did Joan Wheeler know of the connection of Brian T. Maloney’s father to my father, when did she know it, and I expose another lie in her libelous book 

Brian T. Maloney abuses someone who HONORED his father, Arthur J. Maloney – because Joan Wheeler told him to. (with screenshot of Arthur’s obit and my name from the guest book)

the dangers of writing shit about someone if you don’t know them – a lesson to be learned by Brian T. Maloney 

Ruth admits to a big oopsey! 

Guest post from Gert’s daughter Karen with update from Gert – Karen lets Brian have it for calling her mom and aunt dogs.

Chimp aka Brian T. Maloney continues to show the world what a disgusting moron he is – with graphics proving that he listened to lying gossip from Joan about someone I didn’t get along with back in the late 1970’s. – And she sent me a get well card in 1985. I post the card in this post.

Well Champ/Brian, on his HOW ELOQUENT! post has acknowledged SOME of the comments placed on that post/blog!

Just in case Brian Champ Thomas Maloney tries to deny who he is. 

We know who Champ is!! His name is Brian Maloney and he has left his mark; I found him and now I expose him too.


Joan Wheeler is a dangerous nut – she has had a long history of harassing people. July 21, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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this is a different sort of post – during a facebook conversation with Gert and me and a couple of our cousins, the question was asked what did Joan Wheeler do to piss off the members of the family of our mom’s sister.

Part 1 She started with Gail because Gail had grown up with Helen Connors’ daughters – Nancy, Fran and Annie – Helen was the childhood friend of Aunt Catherine and the brother of Edward Wheeler.    Joan remembered the Crystal Beach incident when she and Gail were 10 years and they bumped into each other – Gertrude Anetrino – another of Edward Wheeler’s sisters – lived on Sumner St – right around the corner from Bailey and Walden – right where Scheu Park is – where grandpa Jacob Herr and the family lived. – and not far from where I live now.
They used to have nieghborhood days at Crystal Beach – you pre-bought some ride and meal tickets at neighborhood stores for a savings. So in 1966, Gertrude and Helen and all their kids went for Bailey and Walden Day and coincidentally Aunt Catherine went with Ida, Norman and Gail. I don’t know who the adults Aunt Catherine went with, as she didn’t drive. Aunt Catherine and Gail bumped into Dorothy Wheeler and Joan – Gail saw Joan and was confused because she thought it was me, but then it wasn’t. Catherine told her later never to tell me or anyone she saw that girl. Gail then saw Joan’s Holy Communion picture and remembered the kid at Crystal Beach. I don’t know when in Gail’s life she became aware that we Sippels had another sister, but in 1974 when we found her, she told me didn’t like having to lie to me. – this is the one of the “lies” of adoption that Joan is always bitching about – but then she twists things around and in the book BLAMES Gail for not telling her about herself – like – wtf – Gail was a 10 year old kid and didn’t know anything!

Part 2. During the 1970’s me, Joan and Gail would go out discoing and bar-hopping. but Gail never really liked Joan. She sensed from the get-go that Joan was wierd. At her wedding shower (1980), we were having dinner and Nancy and Fran started talking about Joan, and Helen kicked one of them under the table “don’t talk about people behind their back.” I don’t remember which one but they said, “mom, we’re talking about Joan.” – because Nancy, Fran, and Annie grew up with Joan – they knew how wierd she was – apparently she had been wierd all her life. The early 80’s – Gail was busy with her own life as a newlywed and trying to get pregnant. At the same time I was trying to get pregnant. And in 1980, I went back to working the night shift. Neither Gail nor me had much time to spend on Joan. And of course, then we had the troubles with Karen. – Joan felt that Gail was “avoiding her” because the Wheeler cousins were badmouthing her. – but a lot of it was due to what she did to you Gert in 1982. Aunt Catherine was very upset over the whole thing. By the time we had the Herr family reunion at Uncle Mikes house in 1985, EVERYBODY was starting to see Joan for the nut she was and knew what she did to you Gert and were starting to distance themselves from her.

Part 3 – In 1993, Joan’s daughter got sick and this was after Joan stole that money from me and she knew she couldn’t ask me for any family medical history on thyroid problems, so she photocopied a bunch of medical stuff about Cathy and mailed them to Gail. Gail was pissed at her for what she did to me and sent them back to her. Joan waited until after 10 at night and called her on the phone and was screaming at Gail on the answering machine. Kevin wanted to get up and bitch her out, but Gail told him to just ignore her. From time to time, Joan would mail shit to Gail but Gail would always just mark the envelope “return to sender.” which was pissing Joan off even more. By 1994 when Joan ramped up her harassment to me, I sort of withdrew from everybody – and Gail purposely did not call me – because she wanted to prove to everyone that it was not Ruth doing all the trouble at one point Gail called our father up and told him “its not Ruth – it’s Joan.” Joan was now living back with her mother – with no job, kids either in school or day camp (did she ever parent them?) and she had all sorts of time to write letters to me and Gail. I couldn’t get the dam Buffalo Police to listen to me. But in the town of Eden – it was a different story. I don’t remember when – it had to be late 1998 when Joan sent her another letter – and Gail finally went to the police and they sent Joan a letter to tell her to stop contacting Gail – and it was at this time, Gail was battling cancer. When she got the last letter in 1999, she took it right to the police and they called Joan and said “did you send this letter to Mrs. B.? and Joan said yes. “after we told not to contact her?” she said yes. it was the Eden police who started the harassment charge against Joan. – I didn’t know any of this until John and I got married. I didn’t even know Gail and Kevin got divorced. and I am STILL upset that during the last years of her life, Gail purposely did not call me – to protect me – to prove that it wasnt me doing the shit.

Part 4 I can’t remember the exact year – but Joan had a crack in her windshield – and she went to get it fixed and the mechanic was Ray III – Bugsy’s son.  Somehow the two got to talking and found out they were cousins. Ray was nice enough to invite Joan home for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to leave her alone because she was dangerous. I don’t know what she told him. He started distancing himself from her, and she kept trying to call him. This had to be the late 90’s during the height of her letter writing to lots of people. (my job, the mayor, even Jessica, the 17 year old daughter of Nancy -and Jessica had nothing to do with the family drama! – she was bitching out Jessica and Nancy got her on the phone and told Joan the police would be called if she bothered her daughter again). — I don’t have the letter anymore – but I did get one letter that accused me, my friend Francine, Gail and Ray of “plotting against her.” – I called Francine up and she came over for lunch and then I read the letter to her. she started choking on her sandwich and then said “but but, I never met your cousin Ray.” – Joan in retaliation for this “plot” called Ray’s job to say he fucked up the windshield – trying to get him in trouble on his job. — like she was doing to me at my job.

Part 5 – Joan also managed to get Uncle Mattie’s daughter (I can’t remember her name) and Aunt Bertha’s kids Dennis and  Becky mad at her as well. – Because she has such a lovely way to relate to people.

and with all this shit going on – for more than 25 years and the courts and the district attorney and the police – if Joan goes off the deep end like that nut in colorado – I will hold the authorities responsible – because they have had plenty of notice about this sick bitch.

And that’s also why I sent that letter to Buffalo area therapist Nicole Urdang, who supposedly read Joan’s book and left a book review on amazon.com saying it was a good book. This was a few months after Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot. And I told Urdang that she didn’t see the contradictions that Joan made in the book – and that Urdang was a poor therapist because she didn’t recognize that the book is not about adoption reform but a chronicle of a woman losing her sanity. and I told Urdang that she is responsible for egging Joan on. As well as Rene Hoksbergen, Lori Corangelo, Russell Thomas, Susan Thompson Underdahl and recently Brian T. Maloney.

I forgot to mention a name on the list of people that I will hold responsible if Joan Wheeler goes off the deep end.- Buffalo City Court Judge Margaret Anderson.

In 1995 I took Joan to court for harassment because of:
Sometime in 1994 Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient. Joan ASSUMED I did it and called my job. They investigated and found me innocent. They told Joan this. I work as a nurse’s aide, since 1972. Joan puts in her book that I work as a billing clerk to lend credence to this bullshit. The computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. The mistake was traced to a typo made at 4pm. I worked at that time 11pm to 7am. Not to mention the fact that they can trace everything you do on the computer. But Joan KNEW I did, even though she was told I didn’t. So she set out to change the facts. To change history. She called my job repeatedly for six months trying to get me fired. This is a hospital for god’s sake and we have better things to do than put with a lunatic! Like taking care of sick people and saving lives!
In December 1994, Joan called child abuse on herself, posing as me, She then wrote to Albany NY and told the Child Abuse authorities that I had been placed on probation due to annoyance phone calls. No, it was a six-month order of protection. In February 1995, I received a packet in the mail – from Joan – it contained photocopies of letters she had been writing to: Erie County District Attorney Kevin Dillon, Erie County Commissioner of Social Services Deborah Merrifield,  NYS Senator Anthony Nanula, Buffalo Mayor Anthony Masiello, and the Patient Finacial Services Director of my employer. All these letter contained false accusations of me, and telling these elected officials and people at my job that I can’t pregnant, I hate her because she has kids, I hate her because she killed my mom. I’m not married but I’m living a man who’s not the same race as me. I have an arrest record, I am a criminal. AND she wrote letters to my fiance telling him to break up with me. She contacted my future mother in law, trying to tell her I was evil.
So I took all those letters, including the ones to my fiance and his mother and filed harassment charges on her. At one point while I was standing in front of Judge Margaret Anderson, she was looking at the letters and picked one up, turned to the person standing to her right, and said “she wrote to Kevin?” (the district attorney Kevin Dillon). And she was laughing. A judge was laughing at the clear stalking and harassing letters that Joan had written about me. She then dismissed my harassment charges saying: “sisters should get along.”

Oh thank you very much Judge Margaret Anderson – you have clear evidence of someone stalking me, harassing me, writing letters of character assassination, and you dismissed it all. YOU enabled Joan Wheeler to continue to harass me up to the present.

YOU put it in Joan’s sick head that she could harass me and get away with it.

Through the years, when I have told the story of this and showed those letters to people, they were shocked that a city court judge saw all the clear evidence and dismissed it. And we all have one name for that judge and it ain’t very pretty!

 1. Ruth

AND in November 2009, when I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris died, she started screaming at me – hurling obscenities at me – I got in my car and went to my cousin Nancy’s house and she calmed down – all I did was make a legitmate phone call, – that even after all the harasment that Joan did to me, that I, her sister, would take the time to tell Joan that the woman she was originally named for (Doris) had passed. What did I get in return? I got hit with a barrage of verbal abuse!
After I left Nancy’s house, I went to my dad’s – where he got a screaming phone call from Joan. He told me then that Joan is mentally ill. By the time I got home – there was a message on my answering machine – from the Town of Tonawanda police saying that Ruth Sippel Pace and my sisters Gert and Kathy were to stop calling Joan. yeah! Joan fucking called the cops on me and named two other people that had nothing to do with it!
When I told Gert, Gert called tonawanda police (long distance) and they told Gert “don’t worry, we know all about her.”
And in January 2011, in a facebook private message conversation I had with Joan’s ex husband, he told me that he has had to call the police LONG DISTANCE (he lived at the time in S. Carolina) to break up fights between Joan and her daughter. Who is being forced at the age of 24 to work two jobs to support herself and her mom. But in a myspace email to me the day after I called Joan about Aunt Doris, my niece is whining “don’t I have a right to a life of my own?” – yet, 3 years later, she’s still stuck with her mother – it reminds me of an old horror movie – sort of like “whatever happened to baby jane?” – but not quite. I fear that not only is Joan mentally ill, but if at the age of 24, you haven’t gotten away from your sick mother, you must be sick yourself. I feel sorry for mentally ill people, but to a point. – especially when you’ve been their target for harassment for years and can’t get it to stop!

2. gertmcqueenJuly 22, 2012

Gert here…

After what joan did to me, 1980-82, I left Buffalo and was not aware of many things until 1992 when I started talking again with Ruth. It was difficult to follow because I had lost contact with relatives who were children or not even born when I left and the stories, about Joan’s behavior has always been sick and wierd.

in 1998 I too received a letter from Joan, that she sent to Ruth, to which I answered and told her why is she still bothering me when I told her to get lost in 1982 and then again in 1992?

When Ruth told me about how Joan was harassing Gail I couldn’t believe it…Joan never stops…

And just before she published that lying book she was setting the ground work, on the internet, AGAINST US….and I have the evidence dating back to 2008!

And since the book was published we siblings have gone after Joan’s lying and she has enlisted all kinds of people to ‘get us’ and they have failed because TRUTH WINS OUT. We are NOT DONE with telling all the truths that we know about this very dangerous person.

In a way I feel sorry for the poor sucker Brian, who believes Joan and went out of his way to ATTACK WOMEN he doesn’t know! He has been silent since we exposed the evidence of Joan’s email 2009 attacks on Kathy…and there is MORE evidence…so be aware…if you hang out with Joan Wheeler you will get burnt.

Joan Wheeler is a very dangerous person…we have been telling the world for a long long time….listen up and get away from her.

off blog topic – massacre at a movie theatre July 20, 2012

Posted by Ruth in mental illness, Uncategorized.
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the following post contains strong language and content. Proceed at you own decision.

I have been a fan of the Batman character since I was about 10 years old and reading the comic books. This disgusting display of cowardice and depravity maddens and sickens me. Socio-paths like the idiot who shot little kids should be locked up in the psych ward! Better yet – put them in the jails where the lowest of the low will make them their “bitch.”

Joan Wheeler once said that I have a “hardness.” Yeah, ‘cos I didn’t grow up in the lily-white suburb of Kenmore, NY and I wasn’t spoiled rotten and made to feel “entitled.” I have a hardness that keeps me self-reliant, with a genral mistrust of strangers and I have learned how to protect myself. At the age of sixty, I don’t relish the idea of myself needing to be in a physcial altercation. But believe you me, if it calls for it, I will. I am still very strong and will mop the floor with someone who tries some shit with me. And if an assailant is bigger than me, and it looks as tho I will go down, you better believe me – I will take them with me.

Yeah, I have a “hard” side – but I also have a “soft” side – I have worked the past 40 years delivering direct hands-on patient care in a large hospital. And as much as I am angry at this disgusting event, I am also saddened. What the hell could be going through someone’s mind that they could do this thing?

Angry at the world? what the hell for? You got air in your lungs, you got life! what the hell is the matter with you people? Yeah – I’m directing this at those so-called “adult” adoptees that proudly proclaim themselves as “angry” “militant” – the dumb fuck bitch at the adult adoptees advocating for change forum that posted a couple of months ago about actress Edie Falco – “someone should soak a sock in gasoline, stuff it in her mouth and set it on fire.” WTF? – Why? Because she adopted someone? You are one sick bitch you know that?

I classify Joan Wheeler with that sick bitch as well – because she even wrote in her book that she took her own children’s toys, school artwork, and baby pictures and BURNED THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM IN FRONT OF THEM! She proudly told a birth cousin of that too! When that cousin told me that, I told my husband – he called Joan a “sadistic bitch.” I totally agree.

This world is full of sadistic bitches – they need to be exterminated.


1. gertmcqueen

Ruth…you are so right!

In today’s world, everyone who goes anywhere, must keep their eyes and ears open and if something doesn’t look right…stand up and question it…
how come NOBODY questioned that the guy went out the emergency door? and when someone came in…it DOESN’T mean that it’s part of the SHOW! People are stupid but they are getting stupider by the second

And what the the hell is a 3 mo old baby during at a midnight movie? What the fu,….when my children were little, if I had no babysitter, I STAYED HOME personally I’m tired, real tired, of going out to dinner to have nothing but screaming brats, age 2 years and older destroying MY DINNER

We can go on and on …but when a person has or had personal experience with a fucking nut case, like Joan Wheeler and they tell the world and the world WILL NOT listen…that world had better not come back and blame US….WE HAVE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE FOR DECADES…

you never knew when a nut case will snap

2. beyonddead – 

What troubles me is with almost every single killing of this type is heard the description of the killer stopping to reload. Now in some countries you best keep shooting because the moment you stop your likely dead. This reminds me of the September 11th plane hijackings allegedly involving nothing more than box cutters. The way I see it if you got someone who has placed themselves in a position of superiority over all others might you think that if and when that same individual had stopped for a moment that someone be it one or several might take that one in five risk and take the fucker out.

3. Ruth – 

Right Joe –
but we can all be armchair quarterbacks after the fact. – I’m thinking the theatre was dark, people were in stunned shock – stunned into immobility.
My husband says the same things you have said – but I reminded him that as a Navy Seal in Vietnam, he was trained to kill when an opportunity presents itself – even in a split second.
Just as the events of September 11 taught a lot of airline passengers to act and subdue troublemakers (and we have seen that a lot lately) – this might put more people in the mindset that we are Americans and tired of people acting like idiots – whether they be foreigners like Al-Qaida, or American traitors like this creep. And this creep IS a traitor – to the Constitution of the United States and to his fellow Americans. Indeed, he is a traitor to all of humanity.

So Ruth gets this blog comment… July 18, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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It is placed on the ‘front’ page where it states ‘read before commenting’ which has the current notice about Brian Maloney, henchman of Joan Wheeler.

One could assume that the comment was a reaction to the statement of and about Brian, for the commenter does use the pronoun ‘he’ and jumps to conclusions. But, then they leave a second comment, 10 minutes later, and that is where the most ‘telling’ factors are! It is my belief that this commenter is Joan Wheeler! But hey I’ve been wrong before! I have stated that I believe that Joan Wheeler has imaginary friends and a multiple personality disorder, and even though Brian admitted to his identity, once he was exposed, he continued to NOT defend Joan against my assertions that she has multiple personalities and identify himself. But we are not talking about Brian here…

Now I will state here and now that I COULD be wrong and this is NOT Joan, but anyway…

The first short comment is so difficult to understand where this person is coming from…

(1)As an adopted child, I can attest to the frustration of adoption. You are the adult. You needed to be there with love for him. He is supposed to be your son but you obviously won’t love him of he’s bad. Should he be punished for his actions? Yes. Completely. But he should also be shown an example of love. And I don’t believe he learned it from you.

Gert here…I don’t get this, it seems as if this person was talking to and about an different blog…but…they state they are an adopted child…Joan doesn’t like that phrase and this could be her way of disguising herself, by making this person use ‘child’ instead of ‘adult’…or Joan is now ‘the’ child again. Then…she says she can ‘attest’…does a 17 year old use that word? We find out in comment #2 that she is 17. I don’t want to insult the intelligent of anyone 17 or whatever. I know many young adults that are well informed and articulate, but this person is NOT and between the two comments, supposedly by the same person, we find many inconsistencies. If this is Joan it is sloppy, sloppy and it appears as if she has reverted backwards in mentally. If it is not Joan then this person needs to learn to communicate better.

Now to the second comment, which I’m going to divide in two…

(2a)Okay, I’m sorry, one more thing, to the author of this blog, your blog is smothered in bigotry. I am a seventeen adopted girl and I have been emotionally abused by my “mother” my whole life. I tried to killmyself at six years old. My while life I’ve been told by my parenslts to suck it up. And not complain. I always thought I was weak for being so depressed, I have always felt guilty for not wishing to live. However, I am now finally seeking help, and am trying to tell myself I’m not a freak or a bad kid, and here someone who is supposed to be an adult is writing hurtful things about something she most clearly does not understand. You have generalized based on a bad experience.

Gert here…the fact that this person HAD to come back and say more, points to Joan…she always has more to say…and ‘bigotry’ is a term that Joan uses a lot when she is faced with another’s insistence on their own opinions on a topic, such as adoption and ‘smothered’, could it be that Joan is being ‘smothered’ by the birthsiblings’ insistence on telling our side of the story?

It is telling that this 17 year old admits to being , abused by ‘mother’, tried to kill herself,  was told to ‘suck it up’ and stop complaining; we know that Joan’s adoptive mother was a dominant force and Joan admits, in many forms that such could be possible in her childhood. Also, the admittance of being ‘weak, depressed, guilty, being a freak or bad kid’…all point to a young Joan under a dominant hand. Then the ‘I am now finally seeking help’…a constant refrain of Joan’s. And the young Joan saying, ‘someone who is supposed to be an adult is writing hurtful things about something she most clearly does not understand’. Notice the subtle shift from confused 17 year old remembering childhood, to, correct choice of pronoun (she) and adjective/verb (most clearly) and that ‘does not understand’…Joan tells us we don’t understand being an adoptee! And in the next sentence ‘generalized’…what all adoptees against one experience with Her! Not a very good cover here…Joan!

(2b)No, adopted children should not use “adopted child syndrome” as a cop out. But likewise, women with bad experiences with ONE crappy person who HAPPENS to be adopted should not right rude, illogical blogs about adopted people. Normally I am pretty okay with differing views, but you are being immature because you are just being mean be user of your hurt feelings!  I am a productive citizen,  I go to church, I am involved in a service club at my school, I am an artist, I love piano, and I’m adopted. Get over it and be more respectful of people’s feelings.

Gert here…this is the big give-away…“adopted child syndrome” as a cop out. Perhaps Lori from AmFor has gotten upset over our attention towards that ‘syndrome’ and has spoken with Joan! Note the self-righteous indignation over WOMEN (note the plural here, she is not just talking to Ruth, the author of this blog, but to the women who are her sisters!) and the self-effacing term ‘ONE crappy person’; when Joan is frustrated at the insistence of her birthsiblings she starts debasing herself.

And the terms ‘rude, illogical blogs about adopted people.’; that sure points to the fact that we have more than ONE blog and we do talk about adopted people! And then the insults…immature and mean…and the litany of positives of the writer (who is back in highschool) and then the statement…I’m adopted so you had better ‘get over it and be more respectful of people’s feelings. There she told us!

I bet Joan has gotten flak from other adoptees and she can’t handle it because they, the adoptees, will not come to help her and Brian, her defender, can’t stop us and so she has to go back to going after us all by herself! Yep…Joan, its time for you to pack it in!

1. Ruth

Yes, sometimes it is difficult to know if a commentor is really a different person or if it is Joan. Since this blog’s inception, there have been hits to it on an almost daily basis from proxy sites. We know this is Joan. Joan goes to the blogspot blogger site and goes to a random blog, usually picking one that orignates from a foreign country. On that blogger site is a search button to search that blog for a phrase. When the phrase comes up as not on that blog, another search menu box pops up, allowing you to search the entire web.Typing in my blog’s name, or Gert’s blog’s name, takes you right to our blog, via a blog originating in a foreign country.

We know this is Joan. She has been doing this for two years now. And despite her saying she doesn’t read our blogs, there have been times that we have posted a blogpost, and days later, Joan writes on the Adoptee’s forum, or elsewhere on the web, and will actually use a phrase that we just used.

Now we have this Kay Peterson. A search of the IP address shows it coming from American Fork, Utah, zipcode 84003. Which is near Lehi, Utah. Could be genuine, could be that Joan used a proxy site. There’s just too many similarities in the way this person writes and the way Joan writes.

If the person is genuine, then she needs to learn real fast – THE WORLD DOESN’T CARE IF YOU’RE ADOPTED!

And we see again, how adoptees are always yelling and screaming UNDERSTAND US – WE’RE ADOPTED AND YOU PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND US!!!!

Hey – you know what? THE WORLD DOESN’T CARE.

One question Kay, if you are genuine – why the hell should I care about understanding YOU – when you didn’t take the time to care and understand about ME? – Right away – you condemned me. You didn’t take the time to see that this blog is a chronicle of the many HURTFUL things that Joan has done to me and others. All you can say is “get over it.” – So I will say the same thing to you – “You’re adopted? GET OVER IT.”

another reason we are suspicious over the authenticity of this commentor. The email address – contains the numbers 333 – when Joan was a new member of the Adult Adoptees forum, she used an avatar that consisted of that number and the saying “I’m only Half-Evil.” (333 – half of 666). lol, no, Joan is ALL evil. Any person who sends a letter to her own blood sister telling her that her infertile fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant is nothing but evil.

Earlier this morning, in an email to Gert I said the following:
“but either way Gert – my answers will have infuriated her. What the hell did she expect? – she is like a moth to the flame – she WANTS us to insult her – it’s the only way she knows how to live. – to expect to be insulted and therefore she looks for opportunities to GET insulted. It was probably the only attention she got from those flakes that adopted her.”.

gertmcqueen – July 18, 2012 

Gert here…
well like I said…I could be wrong…but that being said…I agree with Ruth here…I don’t care about ADOPTION…I have some experience with that, adopting my own son and I’ve experienced the PAIN of having Joan Wheeler interfere with that process and with my children.
Our concerns are NOT about adoption, period, our concerns are about the BEHAVIOR of Joan Wheeler, an adoptee and getting the truth out of what she did and wrote about. This is fair warning to anyone that gets in our way.

Call me a cold-hearted bitch if you want to…but my life is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. I can not and will not and should not be responsible for every feeling of every human on this planet. I choose where I shall give my attention and feelings and my focus is NOT ON THE FEELINGS OF ADOPTEES.

Is there any one out there that want to take on ALL OF MY FEELINGS AND PAIN AND PROBLEMS? …NO… I thought not!

If this Kay is for real then I suggest she gets off the internet and gets some real help with dealing with her life. I got the help I needed and so do millions of others…the simple fact is IT IS NOT MY CONCERN.

If this Kay is Joan in another mask…game over! Get lost!

3. Ruth – 

right Gert –
I don’t know why we have to keep repeating ourselves – but here goes again –




IF YOU ARE AN ADOPTEE LOOKING TO DUMP ON THOSE WHO ARE PRO-ADOPTION OR THOSE WHO “DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU” – GET OFF OUR BLOG – WE ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY YOU OR OTHER BULLIES. — (caps for emphasis, not internet shouting. although I feel like shouting because these numbskulls just don’t get it. ) –


Why don’t people READ before opening their mouths with comments – one Kay Peterson needs to learn to READ July 17, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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On July 17, 2012, this blog received the following comments on the page that says in it’s title to READ first before commening. (UH-DUH)

1. As an adopted child, I can attest to the frustration of adoption. You are the adult. You needed to be there with love for him. He is supposed to be your son but you obviously won’t love him of he’s bad. Should he be punished for his actions? Yes. Completely. But he should also be shown an example of love. And I don’t believe he learned it from you.

2. Okay, I’m sorry, one more thing, to the author of this blog, your blog is smothered in bigotry. I am a seventeen adopted girl and I have been emotionally abused by my “mother” my whole life. I tried to killmyself at six years old. My while life I’ve been told by my parenslts to suck it up. And not complain. I always thought I was weak for being so depressed, I have always felt guilty for not wishing to live. However, I am now finally seeking help, and am trying to tell myself I’m not a freak or a bad kid, and here someone who is supposed to be an adult is writing hurtful things about something she most clearly does not understand. You have generalized based on a bad experience. No, adopted children should not use “adopted child syndrome” as a cop out. But likewise, women with bad experiences with ONE crappy person who HAPPENS to be adopted should not right rude, illogical blogs about adopted people. Normally I am pretty okay with differing views, but you are being immature because you are just being mean be user of your hurt feelings!  I am a productive citizen,  I go to church, I am involved in a service club at my school, I am an artist, I love piano, and I’m adopted. Get over it and be more respectful of people’s feelings.

Ruth here:

Okay, Kay, as the author of this blog, I am asking you and others to READ what I wrote on what YOU commented on.

I have not adopted ANYone, so no adopted child WOULD learn from me. – it was my oldest sister, who when she married her second husband, who wanted to adopt her son, had to go thru paperwork – in essence, she and her first husband had to sign relinquishment papers to give up her son for adoption, then she and her second husband signed papers to adopt together the 14 year old kid, who was always in her custody, and was raised very well by his birth/adoptive mom. 

This blog is NOT about adoption. It is about the BEHAVIOR that one adoptee did to me and my family! That adoptee is Joan Wheeler, my birth sister who was relinquished to adoption and then reunited with us. Joan’s anti-social behavior consists of more than 30 years of harassment, lies, theft, stalking. She stole hundreds of dollars from me. Wrote letters to the mayor of my city and other elected officials giving them my medical history and other private details of my life. Called my job repeatedly for six months trying to get me fired. Wrote letters to my fiance trying to break us up. When that didn’t work, she wrote me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant.

What Joan Wheeler has done should have put her jail, but the courts are loathe to moderate “disagreements between family members.” I took her to court in 1995 and the judge dismissed it, saying “sisters should get along.” Joan did not stop – she wrote that letter about my fiance in 1999 and in 2009 published a slanderous book that contains many many lies, including saying that I have an arrest and criminal record, when I have none.

Joan blames all her anti-social behaviors on her adoption. Kay, you say adoption is frustrating? Well frustration does not give anyone the right to do these things that Joan has done.It is Joan and other warped adoptees that cling to the Adopted Child Syndrome as an EXCUSE for their bad and sometimes criminal acts.

If an alcoholic drinks a bottle of vodka, gets in a car, and kills someone, they canNOT use the excuse of their “disease” for that vehicular homocide. “I’m an alcoholic. I can’t help it. Feel sorry for me.” – so if an adoptee breaks the law – as Joan has – she can say “I’m adopted. I can’t help it. Feel sorry for me.” – NO- it doesn’t work like that.

On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum – recently – some of those “adults” were lamblasting actress Edie Falco because she was an adoptive mom. “Someone should soak a sock in gasoline, stick it her mouth and set it on fire,” is what one of them proposed as a solution to adoption. What kind of crazy nonsense is that? – crazy all right – that person should be locked up in the loony bin.

I know full well that not all adoptees engage in this kind of hate. I know a woman, who is the younger adopted sister of a friend. She was brutally raped and beaten at the age of 12. She grew up to be a fine woman, with a husband and children. She does not engage in the anti-social behaviors that Joan and other nuts like her do. C. has absolutely no problems with herself being adopted.

Kay, this blog is NOT about bigotry. Again – this blog is about the crap that JOAN WHEELER has done to me.

FOR THE RECORD: I am pro-adoption. And I am infertile. And THAT is why Joan Wheeler hates me. (well, one of the reasons). She also hates her entire birth family, her entire adoptive family, the Catholic  Church, the government, the entire world – FOR HER ADOPTION. She blames her crappy life on EVERYONE. She will not take responsibility for her own actions! She is now 56 years old and STILL doing crap. For heavens sake, she was adopted 55 years ago – and I was only THREE YEARS OLD! I will be 60 years old in 3 weeks – how long must I be punished for JOAN’S ADOPTION – when I had nothing to do with it!!!??? I have always said that the actions done by Joan are caused by HER and her alone. I have NEVER blamed the instituion of adoption. I am however, disgusted that certain socio-paths try to excuse thier rotten behvior BECAUSE they were adopted – by laying that Adopted Child Syndrome on me and then never stop making my life a living hell!

And by the way, Kay, I AM respectful of others feelings. I was always respectful to Joan’s feelings until she stole from me, lied to me, tried to get me fired, tried to break me up with my fiance. And that was when I stood up to the bully and said – NO – YOU will now respect MY feelings.

Next time Kay, please read something before you shoot your mouth off. And before daring to lecture ME about my justifiable angry feelings from the abuse that I have suffered at the hands of an idiot who blames it all on the institution of adoption – you need to go lecture Joan and the so-called “adult” adoptees for giving adoptees a bad name.

And by the way, Joan also stuck her nose in my sister’s family – telling her she was wrong for the ‘adoption of her son – AND Joan then told the kids -ages 15 and 16 – NOT to listen to their mom. When my niece said she was going to run away – I told her to stay put – Joan told her to run. At the age of 16 that child listened to Joan and went missing for a full week before showing up on my doorstep – 400 miles from her home. Goddess knows what kind of danger that child was exposed to – because Joan told her that her mother was unfit, etc. etc. –

This is what this blog is all about – for people to learn and identify bullies and how to stand up to them. I don’t give a damn that Joan was adopted or not – she has bullied me and others for far too long. – and may I give you piece of advice Kay – that first phrase of your second comment: “I’m sorry.” What are you sorry about? NEVER prelude what you think with that phrase. It shows you are apologizing for what you think. If you have the courage to speak your mind – then don’t be apologetic for saying it. Be a Woman. – and by the way, if I seem a bit harsh in my comments to you – it’s because I’m irritated that you didn’t get the facts right before you commented.  I am not angry with you at all. Just irritated. You had something to say and you said it. You stood up for adoptees – saying that not all of them are whacked like Joan.  But don’t attack me for what I put forth in this blog. You can disagree with me – but if you want to tell me I’m wrong – you’d better have all the facts, and sweetie, you didn’t. Now eliminate that phrase “I’m sorry,” from your vocabulary. It makes one sound like a wishy-washy dishrag.

ps – Kay – Joan Wheeler – to this day – July 18, 2012 is STILL harassing me. And you, who are young enough to be my grandaughter are going to tell ME to suck it up? After YOUR amom has told YOU for years to suck it up? – oh, so only “adopted” persons get to have hurt feelings.

half evil – you overplayed yourself. 333 – I wasn’t born yesterday sweetie.

to see Gert’s thoughts on this and another comment by me click here.

a really important post on Gert’s blog July 16, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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don’t miss important developments…

this one has evidence that will knock your socks off…


The Yom Kippur Affair of Octobr 2009 – Joan Wheeler twists the meaning of Yom Kippur, gets herself in trouble with her bloghost, then blames her birth sisters for her own ignorance. (what else is new?)


A post from Kathy…evidence July 14, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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January 2017 see end for updated info…

Gert says…

This is a post from Kathy…she has asked me to post this on my and on Ruth’s  blogs. There are scans to this and I’m afraid that I am unsure on how to do that and so the scans will have to wait until Ruth is able to so them, in the meanwhile see…


Kathy says:

There have been, over the years, a few remarks made by Ms Wheeler and her friends, casting aspersions as to my intentions for writing this blog. I was clearing out some files, and came across the original post by Ms W, and the subsequent correspondence which led to me starting this blog. It is all here, with a few of my ‘white-outs’ of personal information not pertaining to the subject.

You will see:

Scans 1-4   The original post by JW, the title of which caught my eye whilst surfing the net on Jewish topics, and not her by name: On the Close of Yom Kippur, Day of Atonement. You will see Ms Wheeler twists Yom Kippur to be an opportunity for her adversaries to apologise to her and seek her forgiveness, which is not exactly what Yom Kippur is all about.

Scan5  My comment, which as anyone can see is solely for the point of clarity over the true meaning of Yom Kippur, not accusation, and certainly not mentioning Ms Wheeler’s family situation, which was not the focus of my comment.

Scans 5/6  Her response to me, as Chayelet, before she realised who I really was.

Scan 7 Her, unsolicited by me, personal email to me. The whited-out paragraphs refer to private individuals Ms Wheeler wanted me to contact on her behalf (no, she’s not a user, is she). Note how she actually thanks me for reading her blog, and how she ‘had a feeling we’d re-connect..’.  So much for wanting ‘no contact’. Nowhere in this letter, by the way, does she ask after my welfare, or show any interest in my life- same old, same old.

Scan 8 My email to WordPress regarding her unprofessional behaviour in contacting me.

WordPress’s response is unknown- but Ms Wheeler did post an abusive response to me, which was taken down along with the entire correspondence by either herself or WordPress, before I had the chance to print it out.

I believe this will end the speculation as to the ‘abuse’ Ms Wheeler claims I gave her. I merely wanted to give her a greater understanding of the true meaning of Yom Kippur.  I wish I’d never bothered.

This post was seen Jan 18, 2017 and so I thought I’d update it… here is the link to the post that clarifies what Kathy said above…



UPDATE January 2017; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/     this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.



If you’re gonna tattle on others, make sure you tattle on yourself – Joan Wheeler paints herself as NEVER having done a thing to anybody else. (yeah, right). July 10, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Found this on facebook. – In Joan Wheeler’s tell-all so-called “truthful” book, she made sure she told a lot of stuff that people were doing to her and I know for a fact that a lot of it was fabricated!

BUT Joan doesn’t tell what SHE has done to a lot of people. – And that’s why Gert and I have our blogs – to straighten out the twisted tales Joan presents in her book, AND to enlighten people on the things that Joan has done to us and others.


Brian T. Maloney abuses someone who HONORED his father, Arthur J. Maloney – because Joan Wheeler told him to. July 8, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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 Be it known that Joan Wheeler has enlisted one, Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY to harass, browbeat, insult, belittle, intimidate and cyberbullying the birthsiblings of Joan. We do not know this Brian T. Maloney who has a blog ‘defendingjoanwheeler.blogspot’ and he has left a bullying remark on the Buffalo News website article on birther issue of Joan Wheeler. This man is an abuser to women he does not know.   By a sheer twist of fate, Brian is the son of the late Arthur J. Maloney, who was a well respected attorney in the Buffalo area, AND long-time friend and attorney of our stepmother (from the late 1960′s) and long-time friend and attorney of our father Leonard Sippel (since the early 1970′s). Mr. Maloney also handled the adoption proceedings when our father adopted his stepdaughter. Joan Wheeler cannot stand that fact and has enlisted Brian T. Maloney in her continued abuse and harassment of her birth family. Arthur also handled legal issues for Ruth in 1976 (landlord/tenant) and in the 1990′s – regarding Joan’s theft of money from Ruth and harassment of Ruth. Arthur was disgusted with Joan’s behavior. We are appalled that the son of a very sweet man (Arthur) is such an abuser and a harasser of the daughters of a friend of his late father. I, Ruth Sippel Pace, in representing the Sippel family, left a message of condolence on the online remembrance book for Arthur. I am shocked and disgusted that in return, I am called a dog by his son.
Further, in April 2012, Brian T. Maloney trashed my father for his decision to relinguish Joan to adoption. What one man’s decision in regards to the upbringing of his children is of no concern for another man to comment on and belittle – especially from someone OUTSIDE the family.
screenshot of Arthur’s obit with the beginning of my condolences to his family. Click on the image to see it full size.


more from and about Brian Maloney, Joan Wheeler’s defender…what a laugh! July 8, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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keep informed of the new attacks upon the birth siblings and family by Brian Maloney of Williamsville ny

these posts on gert’s blog


Keep up on fast breaking news… July 6, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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see these posts on Gert’s blog…

new development we know who he is July 5, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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yep I found him and we are just beginning to find out more about him and expose him


We know who Champ is!! His name is Brian Maloney and he has left his mark; I found him and now I expose him too.

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