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Why don’t people READ before opening their mouths with comments – one Kay Peterson needs to learn to READ July 17, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.

On July 17, 2012, this blog received the following comments on the page that says in it’s title to READ first before commening. (UH-DUH)

1. As an adopted child, I can attest to the frustration of adoption. You are the adult. You needed to be there with love for him. He is supposed to be your son but you obviously won’t love him of he’s bad. Should he be punished for his actions? Yes. Completely. But he should also be shown an example of love. And I don’t believe he learned it from you.

2. Okay, I’m sorry, one more thing, to the author of this blog, your blog is smothered in bigotry. I am a seventeen adopted girl and I have been emotionally abused by my “mother” my whole life. I tried to killmyself at six years old. My while life I’ve been told by my parenslts to suck it up. And not complain. I always thought I was weak for being so depressed, I have always felt guilty for not wishing to live. However, I am now finally seeking help, and am trying to tell myself I’m not a freak or a bad kid, and here someone who is supposed to be an adult is writing hurtful things about something she most clearly does not understand. You have generalized based on a bad experience. No, adopted children should not use “adopted child syndrome” as a cop out. But likewise, women with bad experiences with ONE crappy person who HAPPENS to be adopted should not right rude, illogical blogs about adopted people. Normally I am pretty okay with differing views, but you are being immature because you are just being mean be user of your hurt feelings!  I am a productive citizen,  I go to church, I am involved in a service club at my school, I am an artist, I love piano, and I’m adopted. Get over it and be more respectful of people’s feelings.

Ruth here:

Okay, Kay, as the author of this blog, I am asking you and others to READ what I wrote on what YOU commented on.

I have not adopted ANYone, so no adopted child WOULD learn from me. – it was my oldest sister, who when she married her second husband, who wanted to adopt her son, had to go thru paperwork – in essence, she and her first husband had to sign relinquishment papers to give up her son for adoption, then she and her second husband signed papers to adopt together the 14 year old kid, who was always in her custody, and was raised very well by his birth/adoptive mom. 

This blog is NOT about adoption. It is about the BEHAVIOR that one adoptee did to me and my family! That adoptee is Joan Wheeler, my birth sister who was relinquished to adoption and then reunited with us. Joan’s anti-social behavior consists of more than 30 years of harassment, lies, theft, stalking. She stole hundreds of dollars from me. Wrote letters to the mayor of my city and other elected officials giving them my medical history and other private details of my life. Called my job repeatedly for six months trying to get me fired. Wrote letters to my fiance trying to break us up. When that didn’t work, she wrote me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant.

What Joan Wheeler has done should have put her jail, but the courts are loathe to moderate “disagreements between family members.” I took her to court in 1995 and the judge dismissed it, saying “sisters should get along.” Joan did not stop – she wrote that letter about my fiance in 1999 and in 2009 published a slanderous book that contains many many lies, including saying that I have an arrest and criminal record, when I have none.

Joan blames all her anti-social behaviors on her adoption. Kay, you say adoption is frustrating? Well frustration does not give anyone the right to do these things that Joan has done.It is Joan and other warped adoptees that cling to the Adopted Child Syndrome as an EXCUSE for their bad and sometimes criminal acts.

If an alcoholic drinks a bottle of vodka, gets in a car, and kills someone, they canNOT use the excuse of their “disease” for that vehicular homocide. “I’m an alcoholic. I can’t help it. Feel sorry for me.” – so if an adoptee breaks the law – as Joan has – she can say “I’m adopted. I can’t help it. Feel sorry for me.” – NO- it doesn’t work like that.

On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum – recently – some of those “adults” were lamblasting actress Edie Falco because she was an adoptive mom. “Someone should soak a sock in gasoline, stick it her mouth and set it on fire,” is what one of them proposed as a solution to adoption. What kind of crazy nonsense is that? – crazy all right – that person should be locked up in the loony bin.

I know full well that not all adoptees engage in this kind of hate. I know a woman, who is the younger adopted sister of a friend. She was brutally raped and beaten at the age of 12. She grew up to be a fine woman, with a husband and children. She does not engage in the anti-social behaviors that Joan and other nuts like her do. C. has absolutely no problems with herself being adopted.

Kay, this blog is NOT about bigotry. Again – this blog is about the crap that JOAN WHEELER has done to me.

FOR THE RECORD: I am pro-adoption. And I am infertile. And THAT is why Joan Wheeler hates me. (well, one of the reasons). She also hates her entire birth family, her entire adoptive family, the Catholic  Church, the government, the entire world – FOR HER ADOPTION. She blames her crappy life on EVERYONE. She will not take responsibility for her own actions! She is now 56 years old and STILL doing crap. For heavens sake, she was adopted 55 years ago – and I was only THREE YEARS OLD! I will be 60 years old in 3 weeks – how long must I be punished for JOAN’S ADOPTION – when I had nothing to do with it!!!??? I have always said that the actions done by Joan are caused by HER and her alone. I have NEVER blamed the instituion of adoption. I am however, disgusted that certain socio-paths try to excuse thier rotten behvior BECAUSE they were adopted – by laying that Adopted Child Syndrome on me and then never stop making my life a living hell!

And by the way, Kay, I AM respectful of others feelings. I was always respectful to Joan’s feelings until she stole from me, lied to me, tried to get me fired, tried to break me up with my fiance. And that was when I stood up to the bully and said – NO – YOU will now respect MY feelings.

Next time Kay, please read something before you shoot your mouth off. And before daring to lecture ME about my justifiable angry feelings from the abuse that I have suffered at the hands of an idiot who blames it all on the institution of adoption – you need to go lecture Joan and the so-called “adult” adoptees for giving adoptees a bad name.

And by the way, Joan also stuck her nose in my sister’s family – telling her she was wrong for the ‘adoption of her son – AND Joan then told the kids -ages 15 and 16 – NOT to listen to their mom. When my niece said she was going to run away – I told her to stay put – Joan told her to run. At the age of 16 that child listened to Joan and went missing for a full week before showing up on my doorstep – 400 miles from her home. Goddess knows what kind of danger that child was exposed to – because Joan told her that her mother was unfit, etc. etc. –

This is what this blog is all about – for people to learn and identify bullies and how to stand up to them. I don’t give a damn that Joan was adopted or not – she has bullied me and others for far too long. – and may I give you piece of advice Kay – that first phrase of your second comment: “I’m sorry.” What are you sorry about? NEVER prelude what you think with that phrase. It shows you are apologizing for what you think. If you have the courage to speak your mind – then don’t be apologetic for saying it. Be a Woman. – and by the way, if I seem a bit harsh in my comments to you – it’s because I’m irritated that you didn’t get the facts right before you commented.  I am not angry with you at all. Just irritated. You had something to say and you said it. You stood up for adoptees – saying that not all of them are whacked like Joan.  But don’t attack me for what I put forth in this blog. You can disagree with me – but if you want to tell me I’m wrong – you’d better have all the facts, and sweetie, you didn’t. Now eliminate that phrase “I’m sorry,” from your vocabulary. It makes one sound like a wishy-washy dishrag.

ps – Kay – Joan Wheeler – to this day – July 18, 2012 is STILL harassing me. And you, who are young enough to be my grandaughter are going to tell ME to suck it up? After YOUR amom has told YOU for years to suck it up? – oh, so only “adopted” persons get to have hurt feelings.

half evil – you overplayed yourself. 333 – I wasn’t born yesterday sweetie.

to see Gert’s thoughts on this and another comment by me click here.



1. *** « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - July 17, 2012

[…] UPDATE: July 17, 2012 – new post:  Why don’t people READ before opening their mouths with comments – one Kay Peterson needs… […]

2. Ruth - July 18, 2012

ps – Kay – Joan Wheeler – to this day – July 18, 2012 is STILL harassing me. And you, who are young enough to be my grandaughter are going to tell ME to suck it up? After YOUR amom has told YOU for years to suck it up? – oh, so only “adopted” persons get to have hurt feelings.

half evil – you overplayed yourself. 333 – I wasn’t born yesterday sweetie.

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