So Ruth gets this blog comment… July 18, 2012Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
It is placed on the ‘front’ page where it states ‘read before commenting’ which has the current notice about Brian Maloney, henchman of Joan Wheeler.
One could assume that the comment was a reaction to the statement of and about Brian, for the commenter does use the pronoun ‘he’ and jumps to conclusions. But, then they leave a second comment, 10 minutes later, and that is where the most ‘telling’ factors are! It is my belief that this commenter is Joan Wheeler! But hey I’ve been wrong before! I have stated that I believe that Joan Wheeler has imaginary friends and a multiple personality disorder, and even though Brian admitted to his identity, once he was exposed, he continued to NOT defend Joan against my assertions that she has multiple personalities and identify himself. But we are not talking about Brian here…
Now I will state here and now that I COULD be wrong and this is NOT Joan, but anyway…
The first short comment is so difficult to understand where this person is coming from…
(1)As an adopted child, I can attest to the frustration of adoption. You are the adult. You needed to be there with love for him. He is supposed to be your son but you obviously won’t love him of he’s bad. Should he be punished for his actions? Yes. Completely. But he should also be shown an example of love. And I don’t believe he learned it from you.
Gert here…I don’t get this, it seems as if this person was talking to and about an different blog…but…they state they are an adopted child…Joan doesn’t like that phrase and this could be her way of disguising herself, by making this person use ‘child’ instead of ‘adult’…or Joan is now ‘the’ child again. Then…she says she can ‘attest’…does a 17 year old use that word? We find out in comment #2 that she is 17. I don’t want to insult the intelligent of anyone 17 or whatever. I know many young adults that are well informed and articulate, but this person is NOT and between the two comments, supposedly by the same person, we find many inconsistencies. If this is Joan it is sloppy, sloppy and it appears as if she has reverted backwards in mentally. If it is not Joan then this person needs to learn to communicate better.
Now to the second comment, which I’m going to divide in two…
(2a)Okay, I’m sorry, one more thing, to the author of this blog, your blog is smothered in bigotry. I am a seventeen adopted girl and I have been emotionally abused by my “mother” my whole life. I tried to killmyself at six years old. My while life I’ve been told by my parenslts to suck it up. And not complain. I always thought I was weak for being so depressed, I have always felt guilty for not wishing to live. However, I am now finally seeking help, and am trying to tell myself I’m not a freak or a bad kid, and here someone who is supposed to be an adult is writing hurtful things about something she most clearly does not understand. You have generalized based on a bad experience.
Gert here…the fact that this person HAD to come back and say more, points to Joan…she always has more to say…and ‘bigotry’ is a term that Joan uses a lot when she is faced with another’s insistence on their own opinions on a topic, such as adoption and ‘smothered’, could it be that Joan is being ‘smothered’ by the birthsiblings’ insistence on telling our side of the story?
It is telling that this 17 year old admits to being , abused by ‘mother’, tried to kill herself, was told to ‘suck it up’ and stop complaining; we know that Joan’s adoptive mother was a dominant force and Joan admits, in many forms that such could be possible in her childhood. Also, the admittance of being ‘weak, depressed, guilty, being a freak or bad kid’…all point to a young Joan under a dominant hand. Then the ‘I am now finally seeking help’…a constant refrain of Joan’s. And the young Joan saying, ‘someone who is supposed to be an adult is writing hurtful things about something she most clearly does not understand’. Notice the subtle shift from confused 17 year old remembering childhood, to, correct choice of pronoun (she) and adjective/verb (most clearly) and that ‘does not understand’…Joan tells us we don’t understand being an adoptee! And in the next sentence ‘generalized’…what all adoptees against one experience with Her! Not a very good cover here…Joan!
(2b)No, adopted children should not use “adopted child syndrome” as a cop out. But likewise, women with bad experiences with ONE crappy person who HAPPENS to be adopted should not right rude, illogical blogs about adopted people. Normally I am pretty okay with differing views, but you are being immature because you are just being mean be user of your hurt feelings! I am a productive citizen, I go to church, I am involved in a service club at my school, I am an artist, I love piano, and I’m adopted. Get over it and be more respectful of people’s feelings.
Gert here…this is the big give-away…“adopted child syndrome” as a cop out. Perhaps Lori from AmFor has gotten upset over our attention towards that ‘syndrome’ and has spoken with Joan! Note the self-righteous indignation over WOMEN (note the plural here, she is not just talking to Ruth, the author of this blog, but to the women who are her sisters!) and the self-effacing term ‘ONE crappy person’; when Joan is frustrated at the insistence of her birthsiblings she starts debasing herself.
And the terms ‘rude, illogical blogs about adopted people.’; that sure points to the fact that we have more than ONE blog and we do talk about adopted people! And then the insults…immature and mean…and the litany of positives of the writer (who is back in highschool) and then the statement…I’m adopted so you had better ‘get over it and be more respectful of people’s feelings. There she told us!
I bet Joan has gotten flak from other adoptees and she can’t handle it because they, the adoptees, will not come to help her and Brian, her defender, can’t stop us and so she has to go back to going after us all by herself! Yep…Joan, its time for you to pack it in!
- 1. Ruth
Yes, sometimes it is difficult to know if a commentor is really a different person or if it is Joan. Since this blog’s inception, there have been hits to it on an almost daily basis from proxy sites. We know this is Joan. Joan goes to the blogspot blogger site and goes to a random blog, usually picking one that orignates from a foreign country. On that blogger site is a search button to search that blog for a phrase. When the phrase comes up as not on that blog, another search menu box pops up, allowing you to search the entire web.Typing in my blog’s name, or Gert’s blog’s name, takes you right to our blog, via a blog originating in a foreign country.
We know this is Joan. She has been doing this for two years now. And despite her saying she doesn’t read our blogs, there have been times that we have posted a blogpost, and days later, Joan writes on the Adoptee’s forum, or elsewhere on the web, and will actually use a phrase that we just used.
Now we have this Kay Peterson. A search of the IP address shows it coming from American Fork, Utah, zipcode 84003. Which is near Lehi, Utah. Could be genuine, could be that Joan used a proxy site. There’s just too many similarities in the way this person writes and the way Joan writes.
If the person is genuine, then she needs to learn real fast – THE WORLD DOESN’T CARE IF YOU’RE ADOPTED!
And we see again, how adoptees are always yelling and screaming UNDERSTAND US – WE’RE ADOPTED AND YOU PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND US!!!!
Hey – you know what? THE WORLD DOESN’T CARE.
One question Kay, if you are genuine – why the hell should I care about understanding YOU – when you didn’t take the time to care and understand about ME? – Right away – you condemned me. You didn’t take the time to see that this blog is a chronicle of the many HURTFUL things that Joan has done to me and others. All you can say is “get over it.” – So I will say the same thing to you – “You’re adopted? GET OVER IT.”
another reason we are suspicious over the authenticity of this commentor. The email address – contains the numbers 333 – when Joan was a new member of the Adult Adoptees forum, she used an avatar that consisted of that number and the saying “I’m only Half-Evil.” (333 – half of 666). lol, no, Joan is ALL evil. Any person who sends a letter to her own blood sister telling her that her infertile fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant is nothing but evil.
Earlier this morning, in an email to Gert I said the following:
“but either way Gert – my answers will have infuriated her. What the hell did she expect? – she is like a moth to the flame – she WANTS us to insult her – it’s the only way she knows how to live. – to expect to be insulted and therefore she looks for opportunities to GET insulted. It was probably the only attention she got from those flakes that adopted her.”.
well like I said…I could be wrong…but that being said…I agree with Ruth here…I don’t care about ADOPTION…I have some experience with that, adopting my own son and I’ve experienced the PAIN of having Joan Wheeler interfere with that process and with my children.
Our concerns are NOT about adoption, period, our concerns are about the BEHAVIOR of Joan Wheeler, an adoptee and getting the truth out of what she did and wrote about. This is fair warning to anyone that gets in our way.
Call me a cold-hearted bitch if you want to…but my life is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. I can not and will not and should not be responsible for every feeling of every human on this planet. I choose where I shall give my attention and feelings and my focus is NOT ON THE FEELINGS OF ADOPTEES.
Is there any one out there that want to take on ALL OF MY FEELINGS AND PAIN AND PROBLEMS? …NO… I thought not!
If this Kay is for real then I suggest she gets off the internet and gets some real help with dealing with her life. I got the help I needed and so do millions of others…the simple fact is IT IS NOT MY CONCERN.
If this Kay is Joan in another mask…game over! Get lost!
3. Ruth –
right Gert –
I don’t know why we have to keep repeating ourselves – but here goes again –
THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ADOPTION OR ADOPTEES. IT IS ABOUT THE CRAP THAT JOAN WHEELER HAS DONE TO US AND IS STILL DOING TO US.
YES, THE TOPIC OF ADOPTION DOES COME UP – BUT ONLY IN THE CONTEXT OF – WE DO NOT CARE ABOUT ADOPTEES’ FEELINGS! – WE ARE NOT HERE TO HEAL YOUR CONFUSIONS –
THE ONLY THING WE ARE DOING IS TAKING A LIE THAT JOAN WHEELER HAS SAID ABOUT US IN HER BOOK OR ON THE INTERNET AND TELLING THE TRUTH BEHIND THAT LIE.
IF YOU ARE AN ADOPTEE LOOKING FOR UNDERSTANDING OR HEALING – YOU AIN’T GONNA GET IT HERE! –
IF YOU ARE AN ADOPTEE LOOKING TO DUMP ON THOSE WHO ARE PRO-ADOPTION OR THOSE WHO “DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU” – GET OFF OUR BLOG – WE ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY YOU OR OTHER BULLIES. — (caps for emphasis, not internet shouting. although I feel like shouting because these numbskulls just don’t get it. ) –
I HAVE SPENT ENOUGH TIME UNDERSTANDING ADOPTEES FEELINGS – I HAVE DONE MY PART 30 YEARS WHEN I WAS FIRST REUNITED WITH JOAN WHEELER, MY BIRTH SISTER WHO WAS GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION. I HAVE READ ARTICLES – I HAVE RESEARCHED IT. I’M TIRED OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY TELLING ME TO “UNDERSTAND” JOAN. PEOPLE – I DO UNDERSTAND JOAN – SHE IS A SICK INDIVIDUAL WHO NEEDS TO BE IN THE LOONY BIN.