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Why must Joan Wheeler continue to tell lies about her birth family? September 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In her latest blogpost, “Joan Wheeler continues to believe that adoption is an evil that must be stamped out, even as she lies, some more, about the birth family. Gert says:  “So Joan Wheeler will continue on spreading her untruths anywhere she can…but…the birth siblings will also be right there, EXPOSING HER. At some point in time those that are hanging on to her coat tails will ‘let go’ because Joan Wheeler’s reputation is CATCHING UP WITH HER.”

Her latest puppet, who is harassing us at Joan’s request (so she doesn’t get her hands dirty) accused us of “ruining Joan’s reputation.” – not so. We are merely “exposing” her lies.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s tagline is “keeping them honest.” Exposing lies of politicians and crooked charities. 60 Minutes has a long history of doing the same thing. What makes Joan so special that HER lies don’t get exposed? Does Joan Wheeler have some sort of special immunity that her lies don’t get exposed? If Joan Wheeler has the freedom of speech to tell a lie in a book and on the internet, then we have the right to expose that lie and replace it with the truth. Especially when that lie is about us and how we lived when we were children. She was born in  January 1956, lived with my uncle on Fox St. in Buffalo and NEVER in our apartment on Smith St. She was given to the Wheelers in April 1956. Shortly after that, the Wheelers moved to a nice suburb of Buffalo.

So why is she writing about where WE lived in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Her excuse once was that she wrote about us only when our lives intersected with hers. What happened in OUR lives betweeen 1956 and 1974 (the year we were reunited with her) HAS NEVER INTERSECTED WITH HER LIFE AND SHE HAS NO BUSINESS WRITING ABOUT IT. Doesn’t matter that she used one of her screen names, because she uses Legitimate Bastard, 1Adoptee, Half Orpan56, all the time and leaves clues as to who she is and who we are. Especially when she signs her real name, or “Joan Wheeler, born as Doris Sippel”

We have said before and it should be said again: We have no objection to her fighting her cause about adoption reform. All she has to do is refrain from telling lies about our childhood, and our family. She needs to stop writing lies about the circumstance of her adoption. MY FATHER WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING HER FOR ADOPTION! She needs to stop saying that no one came forth to help my father keep her. IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO KEEP HER! Again – there were no day-care centers in 1956. Welfare did not exist as it does now. My father had to work. His parents were elderly, could not take care of 5 little kids, one of them being an infant. My mother’s siblings also could not take her in. My father was approached by my aunt, who was childhood friends with the sister of the man who adopted Joan. My father THEN consulted his parish priest. HE WAS NOT COERCED AT MY MOTHER’S WAKE. The final adoption papers were signed in January 1957. My father had ample time to reconsider his decision. He did not. He stuck to his original decision. This is something that Joan Wheeler must accept and live with. So he was greiving when he made his initial decision -the fact remains: HE HAD TEN MORE MONTHS TO RECONSIDER THAT DECISION. AND HE STUCK WITH HIS FIRST DECISION – THAT BEING THAT THE WHEELER’S WOULD BE JOAN’S PARENTS.

ALSO – my father did have a GED for high school. In the early 50’s he went to night school to study drafting, reading blueprints, etc. In 1955 he became employed by the City of Buffalo as Junior Civil Engineer in the Street Paving and Design Department, where he worked until his retirement in 1988. And he made fairly good money.

Joan Wheeler is constantly saying that our family was “poor” and we lived in a run-down neighborhood. Not so. We did live in a back apartment. So? Some houses are constructed up and down. Front and back. Actually, our apartment was the back AND the whole second floor! Our landlord, Mr. Johnson and his wife had the small one bedroom apartment downstairs in the front.

In the 1950’s and 1960’s, the nieghborhood that we lived in, Smith St. near William St. was vibrant. All along William St. was a bustling shopping district. With a large city playground nearby. There were 2 gas stations, a post office, 3 drug stores, several mom + pop delis, a couple of small variety stores, a liquor store, a butcher store, a large supermarket, a Deco restaurant, and we lived about a mile from Central Terminal, the main hub of railroad passenger and freight service. We also lived a couple of miles from the Broadway/Fillmore shopping district that had banks, major shops and stores.

By the 1970’s, yes, the area began to deteriorate. After we were reunited with Joan in 1974, she went to our old neighborhood (we moved in 1965 after my father bought a house). What Joan saw was our old nieghorhood slowly decaying. It’s called “urban blight” and Buffalo is not the only city this happens to. What she saw in the 70’s was NOT what we saw when we lived there. By the 90’s, however, community re-development took charge. Our playground was demolished and a beautiful senior apartment complex arose. Today, there are vast fields where a lot of Buffalo’s oldest housing stock has been demolished. (yes, my childhood home too). These were structures built in the mid-to-late 1800’s. – Joan really should do her homework when she talks about Buffalo’s East Side. The core area where we lived was built for Polish and German immigrants and blacks who migrated from the southern states. In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, Buffalo was a boom-town. Very different from what it is now.

And as my father’s finances progressed, he put together a down payment and bought a house – the first in his family to own property. The Wheelers had done the same in 1957. Coincidentally, they lived only a few blocks from where we lived! They moved to a hoity-toity suburb of Buffalo (hence Joan’s tendancy to look down on where and how we lived). Well, geez, my uncle, who took Joan in for the first couple of months of her life, lived on Fox St. – another neighborhood that was quite nice in the 50’s and 60’s and sadly, now, is a crummy drug-infested ghetto.

You cannot see a crummy house and think it was crummy from the day it was built – and this is Joan’s mistake. (well one of her mistakes). She also suffers from the prejudicial statements from her adoptive parents who apparently forgot where they came from, because all her life, Joan was told she came from a family that were “too poor to keep her.” Joan was raised as an only child, spoiled rotten. Her mom hand sewed her pretty dresses. She must have used that line as a way to keep Joan grateful to them for adopting her. That was rotten, but that doesn’t give Joan the right to keep on perpetuating that tired old myth – by writing in her book and online that for Christmas 1956 or 1957, her adoptive parents sent over a xmas tree and presents for us!

This is utter bullshit! MY FATHER WORKED FOR THE CITY OF BUFFALO AND MADE GOOD MONEY. In 1956, my father remarried to an Italian lady, who’s mother doted on me. My father’s parents also doted on us. I recently posted on my facebook about how I got started on my love of mythology. My father’s mother gave me, when I was five years old (1957) – a book on Hiawatha. Even though it is a child book, it has some of the original prose of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. – I still have it in my attic. How do I know what year I got it? – cos my grandmother wrote it in the inside cover! It is a quality book – she had to have paid $$$ for it. (see graphics at end of this post). And that’s just only ONE thing. I remember a lot of the toys we had. Even when we lived with our grandparents for a couple of years while my stepmother was ill. – Just as girls today have dolls to learn makeup and hairdos – we had Toni dolls and Breck dolls (sponsored by Breck shampoo and Toni home perms) we had our very own gym set in the back yard on Smith St. not many kids had those. We had the make believe kitchen sets, with running water! (you filled the resevoir in the back). We had the first Easy Bake Oven. My brothers and I had Roy Rogers and Dale Evans cap gun sets. I had a Lucas McCain rifle (tv’s The Rifleman). Davy crockett coonskin hats, Jim Bowie rubber knives. Mickey Mouse Ears and Tinkerbell wands. We had the Visible V8 engine and chemistry sets. Countless paint by number kits and activity books and water color books and sets. I also had a Howdy Doody doll. METAL not plastic dish and tea sets. Stuffed toys. Cars and fire trucks, my stepbrother John had a rubber John Deere tractor! (which he named Basil – go figure!) We had an Elsie the Cow doll.

WE DIDN’T NEED CHARITY FROM THE WHEELERS OR ANYBODY ELSE AND JOAN WHEELER NEEDS TO STOP SAYING THAT BULLSHIT THAT WE RECIEVED IT. In her comments on that site that Gert references in her blog post – Joan also mentions “Catholic Charities.” Yes, our family availed ourselves with their services – AFTER MY STEPMOTHER BECAME ILL! – after Joan was adopted! I don’t know what kind of health insurance my father had back then, but I suspect he had the same problems back then as most families have today. Raising a family of 5 kids is expensive! And in those days, it was NOT the norm for the wife to work. So we were a one-income family, with the added burden of illness. Doctor and other bills to pay. My stepmother was mentally ill and an alcoholic. What Catholic Charities provided for us was social work. NOT monetary contributions. By 1959, when my stepmother was placed in the psych center, we were sent to a foster home and an orphanage. Again, I don’t know the financial obligations of all of that – but I think you have to pay some sort of child support, plus there was the doctor and hospital bills for my stepmother. But even in the foster home, there was still plenty of ample food, clothes and toys. And as I said, in 1965, my father bought a house, taking on a second job as a salesman at Sears. Teenagers in the 60’s were just as expensive then as they are today! But we were NOT poor!

And as far as Joan quoting my father as saying “if I had more education…” blah blah blah – my father was a carpenter. After he bought his house in 1965, he did extensive remodeling. He built a bedroom in the basement! Do you know how much money carpenters make?  My father could have taken that route for a career. (and I do not consider it a menial job at all – to create things with your hands is hardly menial. FYI – one of today’s greatest actors – Harrison Ford worked as a carpenter.- if carpentry is good enough for Han Solo and Indiana Jones, then I’m proud of my dad too!) And don’t forget – Jesus was a carpenter too, having learned the craft from his father Joseph.

So why is Joan NOT proud of the man who gave her the greatest gift of all? – HER OWN LIFE? No, all she can do is write put-down after put-down of him – and us.

AND THAT NEEDS TO STOP. And until she does – this blog, and Gert’s blog will be right here, taking Joan’s bullshit and telling the truth of us and our family.

I didn’t feel like going up to the attic and dragging my copy of Hiawatha down and taking pictures of it – I did find it on google. Apparently it was a 1951 edition, adapted by Allen Chaffee and illustrated by Armstrong Sperry. This is no “Little Golden Book.” This is large – larger than your average 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.  This is an old friend of mine, along with my Heidi book, another present from my grandmother – which I also still have.

1. gertmcqueen

Right on Ruth!!! Our lives and our family’s lives, our friends, our lovers, our husbands, our children, where and how we lived and any minor or major aspect of our lives have been EXPOSED EXPLOITED AND LIED ABOUT by Joan Wheeler. We shall never stop in exposing these lies and righting our honor. People don’t like it, that’s just too bad.

 2. Ruth

you dam right Gert – if I, Ruth Pace, want to talk about MY childhood – that is my right! anybody got a problem with that? stuff it.

I know what MY life is and was – Joan was NOT there! She knows NOTHING about my life. And I have a dam good memory! I have what is called an eidetic memory – that means I remember things in details. I can remember colors, smells, actual words, the weather, I remember events like my father walking me to Sacred Heart School for a Halloween party – which must have been Halloween 1958. I remember the Christmas party in Sacred Heart’s downstairs gymnasium, around 1958 as well – I actually remember eating a tangerine and walnuts! I remember the Halloween party at the orphanage 1959 – I remember the black and orange crepe paper draping from the cieling, and bobbing for apples. I remember the school year recital at the orpanage where me and my brother Butch tapdanced to the tune of – well I don’t know the title of the song but it went “H-A-Double R -I, G-A-N spells Harrigan.” I remember seeing the 7th Voyage of Sinbad in the auditorium of the orphanage, a first run film, for the kids at the orphan home!

I remember bringing home the living room lamps with my stepmother and stepbrother. She carried the lamps – decorated with antique cars, and me and John each carried a shade. We got them from the S+H green stamp redemption center on the fifth floor of downtown’s Hens + Kelly store.

I KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN MY CHILDHOOD AND IF I WANT TO BLOG ABOUT – I WILL.

And if Joan and her deluded friends don’t like it – they can go you-know-where!

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Comments

1. gertmcqueen - September 7, 2012

Right on Ruth!!!
Our lives and our family’s lives, our friends, our lovers, our husbands, our children, where and how we lived and any minor or major aspect of our lives have been EXPOSED EXPLOITED AND LIED ABOUT by Joan Wheeler. We shall never stop in exposing these lies and righting our honor. People don’t like it, that’s just too bad.

2. Ruth - September 7, 2012

you dam right Gert – if I, Ruth Pace, want to talk about MY childhood – that is my right! anybody got a problem with that? stuff it.

I know what MY life is and was – Joan was NOT there! She knows NOTHING about my life. And I have a dam good memory! I have what is called an eidetic memory – that means I remember things in details. I can remember colors, smells, actual words, the weather, I remember events like my father walking me to Sacred Heart School for a Halloween party – which must have been Halloween 1958. I remember the Christmas party in Sacred Heart’s downstairs gymnasium, around 1958 as well – I actually remember eating a tangerine and walnuts! I remember the Halloween party at the orphanage 1959 – I remember the black and orange crepe paper draping from the cieling, and bobbing for apples. I remember the school year recital at the orpanage where me and my brother Butch tapdanced to the tune of – well I don’t know the title of the song but it went “H-A-Double R -I, G-A-N spells Harrigan.” I remember seeing the 7th Voyage of Sinbad in the auditorium of the orphanage, a first run film, for the kids at the orphan home!

I remember bringing home the living room lamps with my stepmother and stepbrother. She carried the lamps – decorated with antique cars, and me and John each carried a shade. We got them from the S+H green stamp redemption center on the fifth floor of downtown’s Hens + Kelly store.

I KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN MY CHILDHOOD AND IF I WANT TO BLOG ABOUT – I WILL.

And if Joan and her deluded friends don’t like it – they can go you-know-where!

3. Why does Joan Wheeler write about the childhoods of her birth siblings, but never about her own childhood? What is she hiding? « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family – - September 7, 2012

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