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Joan Wheeler mocks infertility, and her own sister’s miscarriage September 12, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I placed a comment on my sister Gert’s latest blogpost “Is infertility, by nature or by force, any reason to adopt? or is it a reason for mockery, by Joan Wheeler?”

But I also want to place it here, in it’s own post. Gert brings up the subject of how angry adoptees want everyone to feel sorry for their pain, yet those same angry adoptees don’t give a damn about anyone else’s pain. They actually MOCK people’s pain. And Joan jumps right on board the mockery train. here is my comment:

Joan routinely slams people’s religions – slams people’s choices in life. In her book, she slams poor people (yet laments she’s poor – oh that makes sense), slams people living on Buffalo’s East Side (even though she lived there too). All she ever does is MOCK people for this, for that, for ANYTHING! Then she wonders why NObody ever takes her seriously and runs the hell the away from her.

I myself am an infertile woman, and was on the receiving end of condesending remarks by Joan – LESS THAN A YEAR AFTER I MISCARRIED MY SON.   We were on the phone in May 1987 (I know the month and year – I was packing, moving into the house I live in now). She had just gotten back from one her adoption conferences and started talking about infertility. I told her that I did not want to talk about. I was still greiving my son, who I lost after years of trying to get pregnant. She ignored my request and kept right on talking. I told her again. She ignored me again. I told a third time, a fourth time. She kept right on running her mouth and then made the statement: “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” I slammed the phone down and burst into tears.

What does she know about infertility? Book statistics? Listening to other people? Yeah, Joan knows ABOUT infertitly, but does not know the PAIN of infertility.

Come on Joan, tell the world how your rotten birth sisters never took the time to “understand” you, but don’t tell the world how you stab them in the back and more cruelly, stab them in the heart.

This rotten statement to me was made in 1987, and then in her book published in 2009, Joan continues to mock my infertility and miscarriage. She writes “at one point she (me) CLAIMED  to want to have children,” – even though in 1983, while she was pregnant with her first child, Joan borrowed my books on pregnancy, breastfeeding, baby care. Why would I have those books if I merely CLAIMED to want children. But elsewhere in the book, she says that I was going to a fertility clinic. I never went to a fertility clinic (does she never do any RESEARCH?) – But that’s not the point – the point is – she contradicts herself. If I merely had CLAIMED to want to get pregnant, then why would I be at a fertility clinic?

Then she mocks me further in her book, because I made a rhetorical question “I don’t know how you find time to raise your kids and do all your writing?” Joan mocks me because I do a lot reading, and watch horror movies. Then she writes, “It’s just as well she didn’t get pregnant.”

Way to go Joan. Slam me, slam my dead son. Slam my infertility. Slam my life choices in recreation. Then slam me some more because I never took the time to “understand you.” Oh – go to hell Joan.

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