jump to navigation

December 29, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
comments closed

idiots are at it again…

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

He gives the illusion that others (but it’s Joan herself) (like we don’t know that they are acting as one) are attacking us. These two really do think that the rest of the world is as dumb as they are!

So, tonight Dec 29, 2012, I happened to be checking some facts…I do check my facts, and found that Brian had recently had a couple of comments on his hate blog…between him and someone named Anonymous…how original! Great thinking there guys! Wow…why haven’t I thought of that? I can say and do anything I want if I go by the name anonymous…why am I using my real name? BECAUSE, I am NOT ashamed of what I am saying!!

Background needed here first: on Dec 5 I posted the following post…

Words of wisdom from Joan Wheeler’s ‘defender’: is there a rock he can crawl under?

by gertmcqueen on December 5…

View original post 949 more words


Make it HO! December 24, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality.
comments closed

make it ho


a new post on Gert’s blog December 18, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
comments closed


How does Joan Wheeler view adoptive mothers, as homemakers and seamstresses, and dolls?

by  on December 18, 2012

A Mother’s Story and Her Plea for Better Mental Health Care December 16, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
comments closed

Yes, we need gun control laws, we also need better mental health laws. Back in the 70’s we let these crazies out of the mental hospitals because we were “infringing” on their rights.

NO, it is not their fault they were born with a mental illness. They didn’t ask for it. But if they are a danger to themselves and the rest of society, they need to be institutionalized.


I am Adam Lanza’s Mother by Liza Long


Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year-old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7- and 9-year-old siblings knew the safety plan — they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room.

The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood-altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted into an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30–1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.” That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.

The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork — “Were there any difficulties with… At what age did your child… Were there any problems with… Has your child ever experienced… Does your child have…”

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying — that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am Jason Holmes’ mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys — and their mothers — need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the U.S. is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise — in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56%) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill — Rikers Island, the L.A. County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year-old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken health-care system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast-food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nationwide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

Liza Long is an author, musician, and erstwhile classicist. She is also a single mother of four bright, loved children, one of whom has special needs.

Republished with permission of The Blue Review, a nonprofit startup based at Boise State University, publishing scholarship and journalism on politics, cities and the environment from the Mountain West. The original post can be found here.

You and one other blogger like this.
  • gertmcqueen
  • kimberlyharding


1. kimberlyhardingDecember 16, 2012[Edit]

This is absolutely such a powerful post and story.  We need to discuss these things and find “solutions”.  Having seen mental illness in my own family, I know the devastation that can be wrought, and in that situation, it was a much lesser level than what this country recently experienced. My heart goes out to this woman and her son.

2. gertmcqueenDecember 16, 2012[Edit]

yes I saw this story earlier today and was sick about it. it’s true, mental illness is in MANY families and sometimes we are held hostage to THEM because no one will believe you when you tell them the horror stories or you don’t say anything because you may be living in fear.


off blog topic: Sandy Hook Elementary School Newton, Ct. another sickening mass shooting – this needs to stop! – Time to start putting America first. December 14, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
comments closed

flickering candles


I’m sick of our military and tax dollars going to ungrateful countries guarding THEIR kids and building THEIR schools.  Put soldiers in front of each American school – starting from pre-K to colleges.

CREATE  JOBS: Manufacture and install metal detectors at all American schools.

PARENTS: teach your kids to RESPECT all life, starting from the time they are toddlers. Teach them self-respect also.

I am sick to my stomach that another asshole, armed with an assault rifle has slaughtered innocent American children in Connecutit today.


so after I posted this blog post, I went over to Twitter and found a stupid tweet.  some asshole from one of “those countries” had the nerve to say that America has now failed it’s children, like America has failed the children of Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Somalia. I told him that those countries failed their own children – when it is the TALIBAN who shot a 14 year old girl because she wanted schooling. – this is a prime example of what my rant is all about! THOSE countries don’t respect us – GET OUR MEN OUT OF THERE!

now onto the debate on gun controls I shared this on my facebook from my facebook friend David Gerrold: Let’s clear something up.   Gun ownership is not a right “granted” by the constitution — it is a right that already belongs to the people, recognized and affirmed by the constitution.

Our government is based on the idea that our rights already belong to us — because a government strong enough to grant rights is also strong enough to take them away.

But let’s also be clear about your the nature of your rights — your right to do anything stops at the point at which it represents the potential to commit harm to others.

Your right to free speech does not include slander, your right to a free press does not include libel, your right to assemble does not include rioting, and your right to worship does not include throwing virgins into volcanoes.

Your right to gun ownership is equally affirmed, but by the same standard above, the government does have the authority to place appropriate limits on that right — where the exercise of it does represent a danger to others.

This discussion isn’t about taking away guns — it’s about finding where to draw the line. It’s about stopping these massacres.

and these additional comments from Gert and me:

Gert Mcqueen: I agree! it’s about getting the nut cases off the streets and putting them where they belong under lock and key. I have a gun because I have the right to own it and I’m responsible. guns don’t pull their own triggers, assholes and crazies do. fix it so that the crazies can’t get the guns.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: and I swear to my goddess if that nutcase ex BFF of mine gets a gun and goes off – I will be suing Erie County District Attorneys for listneing to her whining that she has PTSD.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: anybody who was a former office worker, trained as a paralegal – shows up in court dressed as a two bit ho, ranting and raving, using gang-type hand signals (and she’s a 53 year old white woman) – needs to be locked up in the psych ward.

Gert Mcqueen: When Ruth and I have been telling people for YEARS about a nut case like Joan Wheeler, people had better LISTEN UP these types of people and those that are their friends, Brian Maloney who browbeats women he doesn’t even KNOW all on the say so of Joan, these people NEED TO BE WATCHED….listen to people when they tell you that some one has gone off the deep end…

Gert Mcqueen: these types of people do NOT need our sympathy and fucking love…they need to be put away before they take the gun and shot others

Classic narcississtic behavior of a public figure and how many many people can get sucked into it December 10, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
comments closed

I am big fan of the new fad of “ghost hunting.” Well, not so new, many people of the Spiritualist movement in the late 1800’s were into it. And I learned many of the techniques shown on TV – way back in the early 1980’s. Since September 2010, I’ve been involved in local paranormal investigation groups and am now a paranormal investigator myself.

The current ghost hunting fad (as opposed to the fun movies Ghostbusters), began in 2004 when Sci-Fi channel began airing a reality show called Ghost Hunters. One of the crew, Brian Harnois, quickly became a fan favorite with his antics and foils. As time went on, it became clear that his antics were getting out of hand and bordering on the stupid. The founders of the TAPS Team (The Atlantic Paranormal Society), Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson began catching Brian in lies. Equipment was missing, tension was developing between Brian and other team members. Brian was fired. He was allowed to return on a limited basis, and even became part of the Ghost Hunters International team.

In recent years, Brian has come forth and admitted to having bi-polar disease and said that he was getting help. When I joined facebook in 2009, I became an FB friend of many of the TAPS team, including Brian and his wife Michelle. While I don’t know Brian personally, I’ve had several nice chats with him. He is a funny guy. He likes Star Trek, Star Wars, science fiction and horror movies and is the biggest Buffalo Bill’s fan outside of Buffalo.

I’ve also had some chats with Michelle. She’s a sweetheart. She and Brian have two little girls. But, unfortunately, they got divorced. Brian started slipping into the classic narcississtic manipulations and other upheavals of life. Losing jobs, not paying child support, among other things.

Yesterday, Sunday, December 9, 2012, Brian left what appeared to be a suicide note on his facebook page and went missing. Michelle was frantic. She posted on facebook what happened. I found out about it in the afternoon. All through the night, while I was work, I would check facebook to see if there was any news. After I woke up today at 2pm and went on facebook, I learned that Brian had been found today, safe, and on his way for treatment.

I wrote the following for my facebook page and shared it with Michelle, and now want to share it with my blog readers:

Brian Harnois has been found safe and is on his way for mental treatment. Let’s hope he gets the help he needs and more treatment. Let’s hope he gets the help he needs and more importantly – that he sticks to the medical plan. Because if this was just a narcississtic joke – he’s going to be in hot water if he ever does this again.

I feel bad for the guy, and for those with mental illness, but sometimes you have to draw a line with these people and when that line is crossed, and YOUR life and pursuit of happiness becomes jeapordized, you canNOT get sucked into their illness and plots for sympathy.

While I can’t speak wholly for Brian’s situation, I can speak about the situations of my sister Joan Wheeler and my ex BFF – while I feel some compassion for any traumas that they endured,  and their illness – they both crossed the line when they began harassing me and making MY life a living hell.

Anyone living with a person with addictions/substance abuse knows what I’m talking about.

Don’t fall for the tired old line “They didn’t chose to be ill.” Maybe they didn’t, but most of the time, they chose NOT to get the help they need and take their medications.

Don’t fall for the tired old line “You should feel sorry for them.” – because in February of this year, my ex-BFF called my job – told my boss, “Ruth is my friend and I love her.” Then proceeded to accuse me of going into the hospital computer to access her medical records. This is a violation of a federal patient privacy law, subject to immediate termination of my job, possible jail time and monetary fines. My employer can track every keystroke that I do. And why would I want to jeapordize my 40 year career on a crackhead, when I know every thing about her anyway? – I’d known her since 1978! Yet while she was trying to get me fired, she was telling my manager that she “loves me.” – No, any amount of sympathy I had for my friend for what she went through in 1996 – and any love I EVER had for her has been destroyed. Even my husband, who had great love and admiration for her, has been sickened by the events of the past two years and of October of this year.

When their illnesses begin to threaten YOU, (physically or mentally) it’s time to cut the cord and walk away. Don’t be fooled by these people. They know EXACTLY how to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them.

‘Tis the Season for Ho-Ho-Ho’ing! (it’s not always about you Joan Wheeler) December 9, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
comments closed

Joan Wheeler has many screen names. Legitimate Bastard, 1adoptee, kaykel, kmtona, and Half Orphan56. I don’t know why she needs so many screen names. Probably to keep the moderators and owners of the different websites she posts from quessing who she is as she spams them. She has been kicked off many sites because of her hate speech against adoption, adoptive parents and infertile people.

NOTE see updated info on end of this post

One time, I was answering her garbage on the Huffington Post and I was tired of typing out Half Orphan56, so I shortened it to HO.

OMG! I did the unthinkable! I used a texting abbreviation! lol, roflmao! lol

So what did this dingbat accuse me of? Right away, she runs to Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum and accuse me of calling her a whore!

Really now, she needs to put some thought into what her screen names should be. She recently went on a rampage – posting some crazy shit on Transracial Adoption about a date who said he was a horny bastard. Instead of making a post about/against adoption, she’s ranting about a guy she went on a date with who was swearing! OH? the word bastard is a swear word? Then why is she calling herself a (legitimate) BASTARD. So, she’s swearing at herself!

Get a grip there. As if Joan herself doesn’t swear! Once on that Adult Adoptees forum she was urging the members to come over to this blog and then complain to wordpress about my blog. “if enough of us complain, they will shut those fuckheads down.” – this is how she refers to her own flesh and blood – “fuckheads.” – but see, she doesn’t swear. no, she’s all pure lightness and good things only come out of her mouth. LOL LOL –

oh shit! I used another abbreviation!

But I am upset about something today. I want a HO-HO! – get your mind out of the gutter – I don’t want two whores. I want one of those delicious cakes from Hostess – but, sob, – Hostess is going out of business. There will be no more Twinkies, and won’t Joan be happy? – no more HO-HO’s – I’m sure Joan is thrilled there will be no more boxes of Ho-Ho’s staring her in the face when she goes grocery shopping. Because they stole that name from her – HO is the abbreviation of one of HER screen names – and how dare ANYbody use that term. After all, SHE can use the word bastard, but apparently nobody else can.

Let’s also kill Santa Claus. Because he routinely is calling Joan a whore when he laughs! “HO-HO-HO!”

ho ho ho

ho ho s

I guess the pirates at sea were singing about whores when they were singing while they worked their ropes. Those dirty horny bastards!

yo ho ho

Then we have this horrible thing from BBC: Yo-HO-Ahoy! Better go sue them Joan – the BBC called you a whore!

yo ho ahoy

little HO stores should be careful where they place their sales stickers – they shouldn’t piss Joan off like that.

1. gertmcqueen

Too funny!! Well said Ruth

Unfortunately Joan’s sense of being insulted, if someone uses H.O. or even the shorter version of HO, isn’t limited to her. Her defender, Brian Maloney, who goes by the name of Champ, is also insulted, for her!!

For two people, HO and Champ, who have no qualms at insulting, browbeating and intimidating people, to GET worked up over such nonsense is just plain laughable!

Get a freaking grip already HO and Champ! better yet, get lost!

UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



December 8, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
comments closed


Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


I updated my ABOUT page and included this there…


View original post

The Flame Against Shame – dedicated to Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler December 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
comments closed

Flame against Shame

A dear friend of mine wrote this yesterday and with her permission, I am sharing it:

“Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes. If not so, then you would never be here teaching others. Im one to be the first to apologize and ask forgiveness for my mistakes. Then I reward myself with a quote on my fridge, saying., “Hello I’m such a Human”!.”

The other day, Joan’s puppet Brian said this to me and Gert: “If you were not trying to hide something you might be ashamed of, you would not be trying so hard to discredit what was said.”

First, the beginning of his statement does not correlate with the second part of what he said. – When I am writing about “discrediting” Joan – what I am doing is CORRECTING THE LIES SHE HAS SAID ABOUT ME. For example – in her book and on the internet Joan says that I have a criminal record – NO I DO NOT. Joan says that I have been arrested – I have never been arrested in my life. Joan LIES about me in the book. She says that I went to a fertility clinic – NO I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A FERTILITY CLINIC. And even I had – where does she have the right to put that in her book?  Joan LIES in her book that in a court case in 1994 her children were on the stand testifying against me – THIS NEVER HAPPENED. Joan LIES in her book that she never harassed me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother – trashing me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters from Joan to me and Gert wherein she is harassing me after the Erie County District Attorney told her to leave me alone. I have scanned and posted to this blog an actual letter that Joan wrote to my employer falsely accusing me of computer fraud and in this letter to a complete stranger to me – she is giving this man personal details of my health and my private life. Brian- you need to do your homework and SEE WHAT YOUR LITTLE GOODY-TWO-SHOES FRIEND HAS DONE. These documents were sent to Trafford Publishing and this is why the book is dead.

Brian also says: You may very well have your own story to tell, and that may differ from Joan’s. Each person has their own version of how things happened, and each person has the right to free speech.

Well, now let’s take his last sentance first: “each person has the right to free speech.” – so Brian, if each person has the right to free speech, and I therefore have the right to free speech, as you just said, then why are you bitching about what I say here? You just put your foot in your mouth sir.

Brian says: ” Each person has their own version of how things happened,” – Maybe – HOWEVER – I AM RELYING ON ACTUAL CITY OF BUFFALO COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE THAT JOAN’S VERSON OF HOW THINGS HAPPENED IS A LIE. And I don’t need to have a “different version” to know THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED NOR DO I HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. Facts are facts and those are the facts.

These documents have been on this blog for almost three years. Joan has had ample time to examine those documents and refresh her faulty memory and come forth WITH THE TRUTH.

Now as to the accusation that I am hiding something that I might be ashamed of – oh, so now this Reiki healer is stooping to emotional blackmail and threats, just as Joan has done in the past. In her book and on her cyberbullying page Joan threatened us with “exposing secrets” that we don’t want to come out. I have listed here below,in chronological order, SEVEN BLOG POSTS dating from January 3, 2010 to April 4, 2012, where we tell Joan to stop her emotional blackmail – we have nothing to hide and will not be held hostage to Joan’s threats. In fact, here is an additional comment that I wrote on September 21, 2010 in the post numbered 3 below:   I AM A HUMAN BEING WITH MY OWN RIGHTS AND DIGNITIES AND I REFUSE TO BE DICTATED TO BY JOAN WHEELER.   Joan hinted at “secrets” in her book. Secrets that her sister have and are afraid of having put out – we said it once before on this blog and here it is again: WHATEVER SECRETS YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD HOSTAGE OVER OUR HEADS SPEAK THEM NOW – FOR WE WILL NOT BE HELD FOR EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL BY YOU JOAN! WE WILL NOT OBEY YOU, PROPERLY OR IMPROPERLY.

Now as to being ASHAMED of anything I did in the past: No sir, I am not ashamed of anything I ever did. And Brian had also tried to blackmail me with something I did in the past. But like the fool that he is, he stooped to listening to 30 year old GOSSIP from Joan about a young woman named Shadya. I posted all about her in my post of July 7, 2012.  This post contains scans of a card that I received from Shadya in 1985, putting to rest any filthy gossip about her and me. Grow up gossipers.

To sum up: I met Shadya in 1977, when she was dating the brother of my then husband Abdo. We had gone on a picnic. I thought she was very nice. I did not see for about a month, and one night after Abdo left the house to go to a birthday party and I was home alone, getting ready to go to work, I received a prank phone call. I knew I heard the voice before, but could not place it. But a couple of months later, I talked to Shadya, and recognized her voice. It was she who had made the prank call. She did other things, trying to break me and Abdo up. From 1978 to 1983, yes, Shadya and I did not get along. We had arguments, and one knock-down brawl in September 1979.- She laid hands on me first – so I defended myself. I am not proud of how I behaved, but I am not ASHAMED – there is a difference. I acted badly to this woman. And so did she act badly to me. In 1984, I had a talk with her and I apologized to her. I think I could have handled the situation better than the way I did in 1977, but hey – as my friend said “Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes.” – Shadya and I forgave each other and in 1985, when I was in the hospital after miscarrying my son, Shadya sent me a card, and when I got home, she called me up and offered to cook several dinners and send them over to me in tupperwares. Shadya no longer lives in Western New York. I know where she lives, and I will NOT tell anyone where she lives. She lives in another state. She is married again. A couple of years ago, on her 50th birthday, we communciated together via facebook. She is doing very well. I am happy for her. She was happy for me that John and I got married, as she had met John in the late 80’s.

So much for Brian trying to get me to feel “ashamed” for what I “did” to an Arab lady whose name begins with an S – as he tried to throw in my face back in July 2012. Oh – by the way, she wasn’t Arab – she was born in the United States to a Puerto Rican woman and an Indonesian/Yemeni man. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU SPREAD GOSSIP JOAN AND REPEAT IT BRIAN!

Shame is a toxic emotion and I do not deal in that. I live my life the way I see fit. I AM a human being who makes mistakes. And from time to time, have made mistakes and mis-quotes on my blog, and when I find them, I don’t just delete and “fix” the post – I OWN UP TO MY MISTAKES – I TELL MY BLOG READERS WHAT I SAID WRONG AND GO ON – NO SHAME INVOLVED. Just as I said above: I have posted actual court documents and even handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself – that prove that “her side” of the story is a faulty memory at best, or out and out LIES at worst. Joan has had ample time to review those documents and correct her lies and “mistakes.”

I forgave Shadya for what she did to me back in the late 70’s – early 80’s. And I have forgiven myself. Because in 1977 – I was only 25 years old – I am more than twice that age now – and have learned much.


Now Brian – go back and read these posts where we have already addressed the issue of supposedly having little secrets and deeds that we want hidden. As usual, Brian – you are a couple of years late in your research and threats. Grow up little man. REAL men, GROWN-UP men, don’t listen to, repeat, nor believe baseless 30 year old GOSSIP! Get with the times man! This is 2012, not 1983. And we have already dealt with the issues of “little dirty secrets” in these old, posts:

1. attention adopion reformers part 2 January 3, 2010

2. Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen January 7, 2010

3. Adoptee’s tantrums nothing special – Childhood bipolar disorder article by child psychologist John Rosemund, September 14, 2010 September 21, 2010

4. Facts are Stubborn Things Part 1 November 10, 2010

5.What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011

6. Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers March 10, 2011

7.The latest “wisdom” from Joan Wheeler, um, well, actually, she’s trying to show that she has some widsom April 14, 2012


kimberlyhardingDecember 7, 2012

You are so correct- shame is a toxic emotion!!  Keep putting your story out there. It needs to be heard! I love what your friend says about mistakes – mistakes are truly a means for transformation. Thank youl.

3. gertmcqueenDecember 7, 2012[Edit]

Gert here:

Thank you Kim for your insights!


This is correct, Joan has NEVER admitted ANY of her dirty deeds/words…she is always right/correct, everyone else is the problem/trouble-maker, etc.

I did in 1992 FORGIVE her for events she did to me in 82, BUT within 9 hours of seeing me that day, she started more crap; that told me alot; she is EVIL, stay away. Then I heard more of what she did to Kathy and Ruth and somehow we all got along without Joan in our lives. About 8 or 9 years ago, when Dad was ill, I WANTED to put all this behind and I called Joan, she tolded me she LOVED me. No she didn’t cause she had every intention of using that phone conversation for another ‘harassment’ to her, by me…but I didn’t know at the time.

When Joan published in nov 2009, that libelous evil hatred of a book against every member of two families, birth and adopted, she did the worst…character asassination of FAMILY. Not only did she violated, the DIVORCE I had with her and DIDN’T stay away, she continued lying and fabricating in the book. I found out only in 2011 MORE dirty deeds she did to family including asking my daughter to commit a crime for her!

Joan, by writing/publishing that piece of garbage, VIOLATED the peace between every member of our family and NOW she has us TILL DEATH DO WE PART. and that is VOW we will keep…

I was willing many years ago to forgive Joan, attempted to 3 times, but this will never be forgiven, nor forgotten…kin-killing is a crime in many places! Joan is a kin-killer and a soul-killer and she has to live with that reputation! She wanted to tell her story, the way she saw it, fine, NOW she can’t get out of it…TILL DEATH DO WE PART

I am not ashamed of anything in my life, some regrets, but not shame! I have already written/spoken about what Joan thinks she HAS ON ME…silly little sleasy ass…and gossiper that she is…to Brian Maloney who obviously relishes hearing gossip and loves to taunt women! Asshole.

PS while typing I noticed that the word ‘assination’ could be the asassination of an ass…does that apply here…if Joan is an ass…then we are doing ass-ination!

December 5, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
comments closed

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Yes, Champ, Brian Maloney, Joan’s knight in shining armor, just can’t resist taunting women he does not know. So I’ll just shame him and let everyone know what he says.

Here is his latest nonsense…

Champ comments..Dec 4

Sorry, Gert. You outed yourself, and THAT’S the truth. You’re not aware, or don’t care, how silly you’re making yourself look. Now you and Ruth are telling other people what they can and cannot like? There have been others throughout history who have tried to do the same. I won’t mention names, but they have all suffered defeat in the end.
You are very good at stalking, even though much of the information you find is erroneous. That doesn’t seem to bother you, though. Intimidation seems to be your main weapon. You should realize there are those who won’t give in.
I am in no way telling you what you can or…

View original post 1,001 more words

December 3, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
comments closed

more developments for Joan’s current puppet Brian Maloney a male bully to women he never laid eyes on…all he has is a big big mouth

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

What I find so fascinating here is that, even though, everyone knows that Joan Wheeler is dirty, in words and deeds, but that, this Brian character seems to be so captivated by her, that he cannot stop himself in continuing to expose himself as unbalanced and dirty as she is! He posted, in the very beginning of his hate-blog against women (us) that he doesn’t know, that comments made by Joan’s sisters would NOT be published; but he is so full of his own self-righteousness and importance and his abilities to bully, that he POSTS every one of our comments. He must be as much a narcissist and a socio-path as Joan is! And they think that their ‘dynamic duel’ act will make us bow down and cave into their intimidating!

Think again, bully puppets. The only things that Joan Wheeler and Brian Maloney are doing is showing the world how dense and…

View original post 1,764 more words

Joan Wheeler is a bastard, a book post December 1, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
comments closed

Here’s a reblog of a chapter in the book and what she says

gertmcqueenDecember 1, 2012[Edit]

reblogged post is called Joan Wheeler is a Bastard

%d bloggers like this: