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Classic narcississtic behavior of a public figure and how many many people can get sucked into it December 10, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
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I am big fan of the new fad of “ghost hunting.” Well, not so new, many people of the Spiritualist movement in the late 1800’s were into it. And I learned many of the techniques shown on TV – way back in the early 1980’s. Since September 2010, I’ve been involved in local paranormal investigation groups and am now a paranormal investigator myself.

The current ghost hunting fad (as opposed to the fun movies Ghostbusters), began in 2004 when Sci-Fi channel began airing a reality show called Ghost Hunters. One of the crew, Brian Harnois, quickly became a fan favorite with his antics and foils. As time went on, it became clear that his antics were getting out of hand and bordering on the stupid. The founders of the TAPS Team (The Atlantic Paranormal Society), Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson began catching Brian in lies. Equipment was missing, tension was developing between Brian and other team members. Brian was fired. He was allowed to return on a limited basis, and even became part of the Ghost Hunters International team.

In recent years, Brian has come forth and admitted to having bi-polar disease and said that he was getting help. When I joined facebook in 2009, I became an FB friend of many of the TAPS team, including Brian and his wife Michelle. While I don’t know Brian personally, I’ve had several nice chats with him. He is a funny guy. He likes Star Trek, Star Wars, science fiction and horror movies and is the biggest Buffalo Bill’s fan outside of Buffalo.

I’ve also had some chats with Michelle. She’s a sweetheart. She and Brian have two little girls. But, unfortunately, they got divorced. Brian started slipping into the classic narcississtic manipulations and other upheavals of life. Losing jobs, not paying child support, among other things.

Yesterday, Sunday, December 9, 2012, Brian left what appeared to be a suicide note on his facebook page and went missing. Michelle was frantic. She posted on facebook what happened. I found out about it in the afternoon. All through the night, while I was work, I would check facebook to see if there was any news. After I woke up today at 2pm and went on facebook, I learned that Brian had been found today, safe, and on his way for treatment.

I wrote the following for my facebook page and shared it with Michelle, and now want to share it with my blog readers:

Brian Harnois has been found safe and is on his way for mental treatment. Let’s hope he gets the help he needs and more treatment. Let’s hope he gets the help he needs and more importantly – that he sticks to the medical plan. Because if this was just a narcississtic joke – he’s going to be in hot water if he ever does this again.

I feel bad for the guy, and for those with mental illness, but sometimes you have to draw a line with these people and when that line is crossed, and YOUR life and pursuit of happiness becomes jeapordized, you canNOT get sucked into their illness and plots for sympathy.

While I can’t speak wholly for Brian’s situation, I can speak about the situations of my sister Joan Wheeler and my ex BFF – while I feel some compassion for any traumas that they endured,  and their illness – they both crossed the line when they began harassing me and making MY life a living hell.

Anyone living with a person with addictions/substance abuse knows what I’m talking about.

Don’t fall for the tired old line “They didn’t chose to be ill.” Maybe they didn’t, but most of the time, they chose NOT to get the help they need and take their medications.

Don’t fall for the tired old line “You should feel sorry for them.” – because in February of this year, my ex-BFF called my job – told my boss, “Ruth is my friend and I love her.” Then proceeded to accuse me of going into the hospital computer to access her medical records. This is a violation of a federal patient privacy law, subject to immediate termination of my job, possible jail time and monetary fines. My employer can track every keystroke that I do. And why would I want to jeapordize my 40 year career on a crackhead, when I know every thing about her anyway? – I’d known her since 1978! Yet while she was trying to get me fired, she was telling my manager that she “loves me.” – No, any amount of sympathy I had for my friend for what she went through in 1996 – and any love I EVER had for her has been destroyed. Even my husband, who had great love and admiration for her, has been sickened by the events of the past two years and of October of this year.

When their illnesses begin to threaten YOU, (physically or mentally) it’s time to cut the cord and walk away. Don’t be fooled by these people. They know EXACTLY how to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them.

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