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February 28, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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HERE WE GO AGAIN…having fun!

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

No, I’m not into the S&M like what Joan is into…but metaphorically speaking…yes, Joan needs a good Bitch Slap! Where’s a good male dominate when you need one! Brian Maloney where art thou! Oh gosh let’s not tell him that he MAY have been replaced by…by…Daniel…no say it isn’t SO!! Brian has been replaced with Daniel! Ah gee! Poor guy! I could have told you that a long time ago…Joan has been wetting her pants, over Daniel, for a long time now. She’s been sucking up to Daniel ever since he first appeared on the forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change! Too bad he lives half a globe away! Joan loves to suck…up! Shocked? Why should you, haven’t you been aware of the perverse nature of Joan Wheeler YET? It’s nothing new to the birth family. Is that why you, Brian, don’t want to get ‘involved’, as…

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February 28, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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more lies and disrespect she ought to be ashamed

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

To quote her ‘the human costs are incalculable’. Speaking for the birth family, so are all the pains and slander and fabrications and harassment that Joan Wheeler has done, and still is doing, to two families because she cannot accept her lot in life. As a member of the real ‘forbidden family’, who has been repeatedly slandered by Joan, I refute her statements in her post of 27 February 2013 on her blog here… http://forbiddenfamily.net/

I have no interest in any political or personal side of the adoption issue. I do agree that family medical history and personal identification information ought to be provided and that reform should follow proper law-abiding methods. Browbeating pro-adoption people, myself included, is NOT proper methods.

I AM AN ADOPTED MOTHER. I have had experience with the ‘system’. I also have suffered at the hands of Joan Wheeler because I AM AN ADOPTED MOTHER.

When I…

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February 27, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

It is so useless to ask those ‘what ifs’ about the life you didn’t have! If only I won the lottery! If only I was born in another country, had different color skin, was in a wealthy family or that I wasn’t adopted! What a f…ing waste of energy to think this way! You DIDN’T get a different life! You GOT the life you WERE to have…so make the best of it! The grass is NOT greener on the other side! This line of thinking of Joan’s, points to the fact that she must have been abused in the adoptive family, because, once she knew her birth family, she really didn’t WANT US because she systematically destroyed every relationship in it! So much for wishful thinking of ‘what if’ I was not adopted! She had both families and she didn’t LIKE EITHER OF THEM.

There are many things that…

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reworking and reposting of a 2-part BOOK POST Chapter 15 of Joan Wheeler’s libelous book February 21, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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these posts are on Gert’s blog…


Lies, smugness, arrogance – the very reasons why Joan Wheeler’s birth family doesn’t want her around them February 19, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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The other day, February 16, I posted another reply to Joan Wheeler on The Huffington Post where she admitted on January 22 to the recent (Nov. 2012) harassment/stalking crime of contacting my employer with a false accusation. To see all her comments and all my replys to her in one spot click HERE.

Gert had checked the Huffington page today (February 19, and saw my comment had been approved for posting and we had this little exchange on facebook:

Gert McQueen:I checked this out again last night and it is a very good feeling that Huffington keeps allowing your posts, even after a month! The moderators obviously have SEEN the truth in what you have to say in response to what obviously are lies that JW has said…RIGHT ON

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: like I said on the phone -I believe that a moderator at Huffington has left the exchange there as a classic case of what NOT to say on the internet (Joan’s comments) and that there can and will be repurcussions (my taking her to task online on Huff and filing criminal charges against her).

Gert Mcqueen: her arrogance as well as her lies just caught up with her, now she does have to pay the piper for the song and dance that she’s been playing on ALL THE FAMILY’S backs!

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: “her arrogance” – yes – it isn’t just the lies and the harassments, the dirty deeds, it’s her f’ing smugness at times – which tells me she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. Like the time in 1995 when the judge dismissed my charges against her, and FJM and I were coming down the escalator – Joan looked up at me – dead in the eye – and SMIRKED at me. FJM went running down the escalator saying she was going to wipe that smirk off Joan’s face. The smirk left Joan’s face and she went white. She knew what she did and was scared she was going to get her ass beat. She should be thanking me for stopping FJM when I did. I saved Joan from a real ass-beating.

Okay, Ruth here – now I’m not promoting violence. I’m not a violent person. But geez, sometimes I want to just reach out give somebody a good slap right across the chops! But I recognize the consequences of my actions. It isn’t right to put your hands on another person. No matter how much you want to or fantasize or joke about it. When my friend went running down the escalator, I ran after her and stopped her. I told her something and I will post it right here:

“Let her go. She’s not worth you getting into trouble for. One day her crap is going to catch up with her.”

Well, looks like my prediction is coming to fruition. You really do reap what you sow. Joan sowed a LOT of rotten seeds. She is now reaping the harvest of what SHE did. Not Ruth, not Gert, not anybody else. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to contact my job back in 1994-95 with false accusations of computer fraud. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to write harassing lying letters to me, to elected officials. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to write lies in her book – lies that were so flagrant and in direct contradiction of actual court and police documents.

And what is the result? Joan’s lies are coming to light. Her credibilty is shot. oh, too bad. I’ve been saying for three years now, via this blog, that Joan needs to tell the TRUTH. But she keeps chosing to lie. She did it again in November 2012, by contacting my employer with a lie. Then her smug arrogance kicked in and she boasted about it on public internet. And now she pays the piper.

lol, we hear about this stuff all the time on the nightly news. A crime is committed. The police have a suspect, but can’t quite prove it. Or they might not have a suspect. One day, an inmate steps forward and tells the cops “my cellmate was bragging how he/she did this or that.” And BINGO – the crime is now linked to a suspect!

Joan never learns. Because she is so arrogant she thinks she doesn’t HAVE to learn anything. She thinks she can walk her arrogant little ass around MY rights.

She will learn someday. And the learning is not going to be very pretty. And when the ugly truth comes up and slaps her in the face, I will not be extending one ounce of sympathy – because she is bringing everything down upon herself, by herself.


We always have a choice, regardless of circumstances. Although for the life of me, I can’t figure out what “circumstance” there could have been for Joan to LIE about me, STEAL from me, call my job to get me fired, write me a letter falsely saying that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant (when the house was vacant). Well, as I said above, it was JOAN who chose to do those things. Nobody forced her to them. Now she reaps what she has sown.

1. gertmcqueen – February 20, 2013 [Edit]

Gert here…and what made her THINK that it was perfectly okay for her to mess with my children and my ADOPTION process? And all the other dirty deeds and words said about me? And then, NOT answer the direct question by me to her on a public forum? Her answer was to ran to Huffington and complaint about me! Typical Joan response to her VICTIMS…scream that they are harassing her! Doesn’t work any longer. Everyone is watching!

Joan Wheeler stupidly refuses to understand and respect personal boundaries February 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Gert just republished a blog post called “Joan Wheeler knows about personal boundaries…NOT.”  that she wrote on October 9, 2012. I just left a comment on it, and I want to post it here as a separate blog post. —

Joan is living the life that SHE chose. I don’t make her decisions for her. If her life is miserable – SHE chose it – not me.   JOAN chose to do stupid things.  JOAN chooses to say stupid things. JOAN chose to write a book. JOAN chose to write lies in that book. I have Buffalo City Court documents that prove she lied in the book. AND I have numerous letters that Joan herself wrote to me – harassing letters, lying letters – letters that JOAN chose to write.   In January 2013, despite her boasting that she refuses to “play along” – on The Huffington Post, she wrote an interesting comment. – IN November 2012 a letter was sent to my employer – falsely accusing me of computer fraud. On January 22, 2013, JOAN chose to admit on public internet on The Huffington Post that it was she who sent that letter. She also choose to add another stupid false accusation in that comment – that I am calling FROM MY EMPLOYER to “make appointments” for her. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I work the overnight shift – 7pm to 7am. By the time I get in the building, departments that would make appointments are CLOSED! And even if I were in the building in the afternoon, I cannot waltz into a department, sit a desk, and call her and make appointments. and if it was ME calling her house to make appointments – surely she knows by now how I sound on the phone? That was a spectacularly STUPID accusation there. lol. and yes, I have an actual screen shot of what she put on Huffington Post – and it is still there –  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/forbiddenfamily?action=comments

I have told you readers before and I’ll say it again, that what I put on this blog is the TRUTH and I provide PROOF or the link to the website so that you can verify that what I say IS the truth. Unlike Joan, who stupidly says I’m making impossible phone calls.

On January 4, 2013, I had a meeting in Human Resources and was told about this letter. They didn’t tell me until after the holidays, so that I could enjoy my holidays. – BUT – when the letter arrived, yes, the hospital did investigate Joan’s allegations of my commiting computer fraud. Result – I WAS FOUND INNOCENT of these latest lies and harassments of me that Joan Wheeler CHOSE to do.   These things are formerly classified AS A CRIME – “Aggravated harassment 2 – phone/telegraph/ written communication to alarm” — Police complaint made by me on January 23, 2013.

And now we go to court – let Joan tell the judge how she “refuses to play along” or she doesn’t “interfere with my life.” Or she doesn’t continuously lob false accusastions at me – and hasn’t done that for years – she wrote letters and made phone calls to my employer back in 1987, 1990, 1994, 1995. – Stupid – Joan refuses to realize that computer technology can trace every keystroke I do – and that after 40 years in the same job, I have developed a reputation of respect at my hospital – because I come in to work, do what I’m supposed to do, and don’t do what I’m not supposed to do.

Joan can’t seem to accept the fact that I am not like her – I have morals and values – which she clearly does not.

Joan CHOSE to disrespect MY personal boundary – calling my job – and now she pays for it.

1. RuthFebruary 16, 2013

Joan’s spectacularly stupid comment on Huffington started with this real stupid statement: ““I am trying to defend myself from my natural blood kin sisters who do not abide by what we all agreed upon over thrity years ago: stay out of my life.”

“thirty years ago” – that takes us back to 1983. January. hmmm. let’s see – in May 1983, I was one of Joan Wheeler’s bridesmaids. In June 1985, Joan drove me home from the hospital after my miscarriage. In Oct. 1986, I drove Joan and her new baby daughter home from the hospital. Summers 1988 and 1989 – we were at the beach. It was in 1990 AFTER Joan and her deadbeat husband stole hundreds of $$$ from me that I threw Joan out of my life, to which it was JOAN who refused to abide by MY not wanting her in MY life.

That’s right – she’s TRYING to defend herself – from her own lies! HOW THE HELL WERE WE OUT OF EACH OTHER’S LIVES 30 YEARS AGO WHEN I STILL HAVE BANK RECEIPTS THAT PROVE WE WERE IN EACH OTHER LIVES 23 YEARS AGO? And I am in the video of her wedding from May 1983? ha ha ha ha ha

People really need to get their stupid facts straight.

gert here: in 1980 I DIVORCED Joan for interferring in my parental rights and my adopting of my son, that was AFTER I went to a mediation to SOLVE our problems, Joan said go to hell…that was fine by me! She NEVER AGREED TO ANYTHING, she NEVER WENT TO MEDIATION

in 1992 at a family gathering, NOT REUNION, I saw Joan again, that’s 10 years later, at that time Joan said she LOVED ME, and I THOUGHT AND BELIVED her, Joan and me were sitting at Ruth’s kitchen table having lunch, then at a park, with other family members, but before that night was over Joan went to our father’s home with wild lies about me, saying my mental health was in danger because of my new religion, my father pushed her out the door. I continued on with my DIVORCE and didn’t see her.

In 1998, Joan sent a letter to me, by sending it to Ruth. Joan wanted to talk with me, I call and she yells at me and hangs up! Okay, I write her a letter telling her to get lost!

In 1998, Joan wrote a letter to my daughter asking her to commit a crime, that of accessing Joan’s and her daughter’s medical records so Joan could go for mal-practice. My daughter refused. I did not know about this until 2011

In 2004 or so, I wanted to end the difficulties and had asked my father to dial Joan’s phone, she talked with me for several minutes and told me SHE LOVED ME…I belived her!

then in 2009 Joan published a libelous book that is why we are speaking out against her…because she is a liar and a KIN KILLER.

Joan has gotten all manner of adoptees and friends to attempt to shut us up. A male friend created a hate blog against us in 2010

in March 2012 Joan placed a comment on my blog, we blogged about it, In April 2012, Joan got her boyfriend to create a hate blog against us

THERE NEVER WAS any agreement to stay out of each other’s lives. It has ALWAYS been Joan who WOULD NOT STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES, when we told her no to anything. It has always been Joan who lies and creates things that never were or are. Joan Wheeler needs to get OUT OF OUR LIVES and stop lying, she needs to take down all her hate blogs against us and those of her boyfriends.

3. RuthFebruary 16, 2013

at the family gathering in the park – LaSalle Park- that was July 4, 1992. MONTHS earlier, (because these things are planned in advance), my dance teacher Rusty Wood, and president of The Beledi Club and our leader of our dance troupe, Troupe Arabesque, booked Troupe Arabesque to appear as performers for The Friendship Festival, a joint festival occuring July 3 and 4 between the two sister border cities of Buffalo, NY, USA and Fort Erie, Ontario, Canada.

BY COINCIDENCE – my brother and his wife and son came to Buffalo from Arizona to visit their hometown of Buffalo. I don’t remember exactly what day they arrived, or left, BUT they were in Buffalo for the Fourth of July. When my father called me and told me they were coming, I told him that I would be dancing with my dance troupe. I suggested that it would be a nice idea for my father, my brother to come to the park to see me dance. I don’t recall exactly how or when Gert decided to come to Buffalo – but she drove to Buffalo and accompanied my father and brother to the park. In the meantime, a birthday party had already been planned for the same day, for one of my stepsister’s daughters – my stepmother, my sister-in-law and my younger brother attended the birthday party.

My father called Joan and told her that I was going to be performing at the park and that he, Gert and our brother would be at the park, and would Joan like to come. – and she did. With her husband, kids and adoptive mother.

After I and my dance troupe performed, my father stood talking to his children. He made comments about how all his children were talented in the arts. He made a statement about each and every one of us – including Kathy who was not present. When he spoke about Joan, he added that Joan needed to grow up a bit. THAT WAS ALL HE SAID.

The next day, Joan appeared at my father’s house bitching and screaming that he had insulted her, her husband, her adoptive mother. WHICH WAS NOT TRUE. My father told her three times quietly to leave his house, when she would not, he opened the door and told her GET THE FUCK OUT.

Of course, the version in Joan’s stupid book was completely different. We had PLOTTED to get Joan to the park. (sure, the arts councils of two cities in two different countries booked my dance troupe way back in December 1991 as a ploy to get Joan Wheeler to the park on July 4, 1992).  And Joan twisted everything and put words in my father’s mouth that he did not say. And had me and Gert yelling at her at the park.


February 14, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Having a blog, and being co-administrator with Ruth, I am always surprised at many of Ruth’s earlier blog posts; they are quite enlightening and very entertaining! Ruth is in the unique position to have had ACTUAL long term, up-close and personal, DEALINGS with Joan, more than myself and Kathy. Ruth KNEWS Joan better than most people! That’s why Joan ‘goes after’ Ruth the way she does!

I’m equally surprised at search terms and links from other blogs!

Today, on Ruth’s blog, was a link, which I had not seen before. So I clicked on it and was utterly blown away with laughter at the; it was NO joke. But of course, I knew that it was ‘reality’ for it really is the way Joan M Wheeler believes and acts (out)! So then I got to wondering, why this particular link showed up…someone must have been on that link and then…

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February 12, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Is Joan Wheeler one? Is Joan an innocent bystander in the internet world, just telling her story, her view, her perception or she is more?

Joan’s blogs have and are being used to promote hate against her birth family. She buries, deep into her blog, bits of hate, against the birth family. She has also created an entire blog devoted to slander, lies, falsehoods and name-calling of the birth siblings, as well as condemnation of us. She had written a libelous book and promoted it, far and wide, in the internet world, as far back as 2008, perhaps ever earlier. She has enlisted other adoptees and friends, to ‘go get my sisters’ and ‘shut them up’ and ‘defend her’ (I know of 2 male friends of Joan’s, who don’t know us sisters, who non-the-less, have abused us in print, Russ and Brian) and this goes on in many avenues on…

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February 10, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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KARMA always karma….

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

how prophetic is this? – wow!

So about a month ago, I signed up for a facebook app – “Your Daily Tarot” – each day, we are given one Tarot card and it’s meaning. Today, The Nine of Swords was posted.

I just got done with a new blog comment over at Gert’s blog, outlining Joan’s filthy STEALING from me. Then I go to facebook and see today’s Tarot card. What is the meaning of the Nine of Swords? Well here it is:

“The Nine of Swords

Affluence obtained via deception. Theft, swindling and pilfering. Corruption and success earned from the backs and misfortunes of others. This card also warns that present calm and stability will not be sustained”
Now in the past, we sisters of Joan have condemned her for writing that filthy book of hers, containing much slander and bullshit against us and our family, and trying to…

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Handwriting samples of Joan Wheeler and various items I received in the mail – proof positive that Joan has been interfering in my life for years. February 9, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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My goodness, you never know what’s going to happen when you go to sleep. I just woke up and I check my blog stats to see an old post of mine from Dec. 2009 getting quite the attention. I hadn’t looked at the old post for a long time and I see it is very relevant to what I said back then and am STILL saying – that it is not ME or my sisters doing the harassing – it is JOAN WHEELER, always HAS been JOAN WHEELER and I have provided much evidence to prove it.

To save people the trouble of going to a separate link, I have copied and pasted the text of the blog and put it here. But first I want to put up some graphics. – The old post that I’m redoing here isin  regards to a large manilla envelope that I received in the mail back in 1998. – the story of the envelope is in the text copied from the old blog post and put here below the graphics. I want to talk about the graphics first – and I want you people to pay attention to the writing on all the graphics.

First up – a letter that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother via his mother’s house trying to coerce John to leave me. This was after she posed as me and called child abuse on herself and named MY fiance (now husband) John as a child abuser. She was trying to break us up. After I filed harassment charges on her Feb. 1995 – she sends this cute little number:


okay – here is a a note that came to my house – supposedly written by Joan’s then 10 year old son to my fiance John – but it is bogus – Dennis didn’t write it – Joan did.  Included in this note, is a snippet of Joan’s handwriting sample from an old letter she wrote to my sister Kathy. By the way, Dennis always referred to John as UNCLE John, but does not in this note.

dennis letter handwriting comparison

now we will look at the return address on the manila envelope that I received in 1998. It is not my handwriting – but the return address is my maiden name and the house that I lived in and still living in – my fiance’s last name is Pace – there was no one else living with us. This handwriting is not mine, nor John’s.

close up of return address

here is the postmark from that envelope – from Tonawanda. Which is a northern suburb of Buffalo. In 1998, I didn’t have a car.

envelope June 1998 postmark

and here is a sample of MY handwriting:

my handwriting

Now I want you people – those who profess to wanting the TRUTH – to carefully examine the handwriting samples provided. Joan has a peculiar habit of mixing cursive (written) letters in with her printed letters. She makes her “E”s sort of like the “E”s in the font of this blog post. – Look at the printed E that I put in my name and New in New York – I make my Es like the Greek E.  And check out the “R”s, the “D”s and the “A”s in all the samples. Pay attention to how Joan writes the “J” in her name – look closely at “Dennis’s” salutation to John – The J is first written the way Joan writes her Js – then crossed out, and another style written in.

Now before I copy and past the text from that old blog post, here is another graphic – the picture of the entire manilla envelope – it is from a person with a sick, sick mind.  From someone who positively HATES me – to the point of calling child abuse ON HERSELF, to the point of posing of her own son to harass me, to calling my job repeatedly trying to get me fired. But Joan says in January 2013 on the website The Huffington Post that she doesn’t interfere with my life. —  yeah right.

envelope June 1998 privacy

Now, here is the text from the old post – explaining this blacked out envelope. And judge for yourself – are we dealing with a sane person? I sure don’t think so.

from my old post  “evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998 December 12, 2009 ” https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2009/12/12/evidence-of-harassment-of-me-by-joan-wheeler/

Here’s an envelope I recieved in the mail in June 1998. Inside was a bunch of junk from Joan Wheeler. I’ll get into that in a bit. But I want to discuss the envelope.  The envelope was addressed to me, with the same address appearing on the return address. This was Joan’s clever manipulation of the post office. So that if I would mark the envelope as return to sender, it would come right back to me. If you look at the postmark closeup, it was mailed from a post office branch in Tonawanda, NY. I do not live in Tonawanda. I live in Buffalo. Joan lives in Tonawanda. I saw this clever manipulation and the postmark, so I put a label on the main address, addressed it to Joan at her house and popped it into the mail box. You see the envelope how I got it the second time. Someone spent a lot of time and ink with a magic marker to black out the entire envelope. I have also provided a sample of my handwriting. I usually do not spell out Buffalo, New York.So I did it both ways, so you can see that I did not fill out a manila envelope and put my return address on it. And I did not go to a post office branch in  Tonawanda New York and pay the clerk 78 cents. In 1998, I did not have a car.

But this is indicitive of the sick games Joan Wheeler plays with her birth family. Call it sick, it is still abuse, emotional abuse of me, and harassment.

So inside this large manilla envelope was a bunch of garbage related to the mess that Joan involved me in the previous month. I recieved an envelope from Joan, cerified mail, addressed to me and my fiance. She had written on the bottom: important information. Inside was a letter addressed to me and my sister G.

The letter was about a guy I never met, who bumped into her ex-husband, who used to know my oldest sister, and trash-talked my oldest sister to Joan’s ex-husband. I had sent a letter to Joan to tell her that 1. just 3 years earlier, the district attorney had told both of us to not contact each other. 2. I have nothing to do with some guy I never met who bumps into Colby and trashtalks G. 3. Why was my fiance’s name on the envelope? He also was not involved with this strange man. 4. Again, why was my fiance’s name on the envelope if the letter inside was addressed to me and my sister. 5. Leave me alone.

In the meantime, my sister G. also wrote to Joan. To tell her 1. Leave her alone. 2. Ruth is not involved with some guy who used to live in the same city as her. 3. Leave her alone.

So getting back to the large blacked out envelope: Also included was another small envelope , and I’m darned if I can remember what was in it, but I know it came from that blacked out envelope – on the back of it was some of the ink that bled thru. This was addressed to Joan, with no return address, but it was mailed from a post office branch from zipcode 14217. Joan’s zipcode is 14223. These are in the north Buffalo suburbs of Kenmore/Tonawanda. I live way over on the east side by Cheektowaga. I don’t know if she was trying to send mail to herself to prove to people that I was doing it. Because I don’t live in the Ken/Ton area, and I didn’t have a car at the time. And it is not my handwriting on the envelope. Fun and games courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Teflon Dictator.

February 8, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

if they are happy they are in denial and ignorant and out of touch!

There just isn’t anything that will please Joan Wheeler! If someone is HAPPY there must be something wrong with them. Just take a look at the following exercise in putting a wet blanket on someone else’s happiness. No wonder Joan is a angry hateful person, she can’t accept another person happiness!! And she has this fixation that if only everyone READ THE SAME BOOKS AS SHE HAS they would be SAVED…sounds like book idolatry to me!

The statements in red are someone else statements that Joan is answering. Joan’s are in italics. My comments follow Joan’s.

Re: Happy Adoptees That Don’t Search« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2012, 12:05:11 PM »

“I know _______ who is happy he is adopted and never wanted to know his birth parents. He never felt the need to search and doesn’t…

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Lies, bullying, false accusations, interfering with my life – recent activities and misdeeds of Joan Wheeler February 7, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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On Wednesday morning, February 6, I was on Twitter and saw a suggestion that Twitter put out – to follow motivational speaker  and life coach Anthony Robbins. Having purchased his original Personal Power program (and learning a great deal from it) back in the early 90’s – I am an admirer of Tony. So I “followed” him.

After John and I took care of some business downtown, had lunch and did some shopping, I came home and went to twitter and I find about 3 “life coaches” following me. So I blocked them and wrote the following tweets:



Then the following tweets naturally flowed:

3. at least I didn’t automatically ASSUME that somebody hacked my account. – ARE YOU LISTENING JOAN WHEELER?

4. nor did I automatically ASSUME and FALSELY ACCUSE someone of doing something they didn’t do. – are we learning Joan Wheeler?

5. SICK + TIRED OF BEING FALSELY ACCUSED OF THINGS I DIDN’T DO-Joan Wheeler-get all the facts before you runs your mouth


7. I STAND UP TO BULLIES AND LIARS. Don’t lie, and don’t bully me and we’ll get along just fine.

Lies and bullying – that’s what Joan Wheeler does best. Last month Joan was on a bullying streak and accusing me of things I didn’t do. From hacking into people’s Twitter accounts, to the crazy ASSUMPION and ACCUSATION that I started my twitter account “solely to stalk and harass” her. —  I really hate to bust her ego-bubble, but no, I joined Twitter because an fb friend of mine, a cast member of Ghost Hunters International on SyFy channel invited me to. One night/early morning in July 2012, he talked me through (via facebook) setting up my twitter account and he was my first twitter person to follow, and he was my first follower. I even wrote for my first tweet “well, this is my first tweet and I don’t know what to say.” And he wrote back “very well said Ruth.” Was I thinking of Joan during all that? oh hell no, I was thinking “how cool is this? A gorgeous hunk and cast member of a tv show is talking me thru setting up my twitter account.” – sorry Joan – Robb is just way more cuter than you.

So last month Joan also admitted to breaking the law! Just after Thanksgiving 2012, a letter arrived at my job – accusing me of computer fraud and calling from my job to set up phony appointments for her. This is not the first time she’s done that kind of crap. She’s been contacting my employer about me for bullshit personal reasons and false accusations before. And she’s posed as me on the phone before as well. And by the way – as in the past (1994 and 1995) and now in the present – my employer investigated me. Their computer security system is tight. They can monitor every keystroke I do. In 1994 and 1995 and in December 2012 – I WAS INVESTIGATED AND FOUND INNOCENT.

Then on Saturday, Jan. 26, a family member died. I didn’t know about it – I was working. (I work the overnight shift and sleep in the day and at 2:00am Tuesday I was injured slightly when an elevator dropped several floors and came to an abrupt halt, jarring me. (only muscle strains, thank goodness – a couple days of motrin, muscle relaxer, heating pads and Ben-Gay and I am OK!). After a visit to the ER and getting home at 4am – I go to bed and when I get up – here’s Joan speculating about me and accusing me again of doing something I didn’t do – using the death of a family member as a way to “bother her.” Then she starts her lies about my relationship with this “family group” saying crap like they don’t want me around – which is a laugh because they just invited me to, and I attended, a family get-together brunch on Dec. 23, 2012 – an event that JOAN was not wanted to be at and not invited to.

So I’m just waking up and drinking coffee to find out that while I’ve been sleeping I doing all these things. Things that are imagined and coming out of Joan’s bat-shit crazy head. So I call my cousin Nancy and ask who died in the family. Then I call another cousin to get all the details.

So here’s the thing: Joan is always yakking on the internet that she is not in my life, nor is she interfering with my life. Really? By writing a letter to my job she INTERFERED WITH MY LIFE. By her continous falsely accusing me of doing things I’m not doing, JOAN WHEELER IS INTERFERING WITH MY LIFE. By ASSUMING and ACCUSING me of joining Twitter just to “bother her” JOAN WHEELER IS BULLYING ME AND TRYING TO DICTATE TO ME WHAT INTERNET SOCIAL SITES I MAY JOIN.


Now that she has written a letter to my job accusing me of something I didn’t do and admitting to that on public internet (on the Huffington Post) Joan can no longer whine and lie to her adoptee pals or whine to anybody in her life that she is NOT intefering with my life. — Because she just did.

and I just love how on Huffington she says that we all agreed to stay out of each other’s lives 30 years ago. Well 30 years ago takes us back to January 1983. But in May 1983, I was one of her bridesmaids.(which she admits to in her book). In 1985, she drove me home from the hospital after I suffered a miscarriage. In 1986, I drove her and her newborn daughter home form the hospital. (she doens’t mention these things in the book – because they were nice things about me).  — She does admit in the book that in the summers of 1988 and 1989, I and my fiancé John Pace were very close to Joan, her husband and their children. She mentions that because she wanted to show how close John was to her and was against me. (but somehow we got married and are still together). In the book she says in 1989 she borrowed money from me and I was angry because she didn’t have any money to repay me. Her twisted lies of what really happened: Joan and her ex-husband STOLE hundreds of dollars from me. She made promises to me to repay me, and then left a message on my answering machine saying me that she changed her mind about repaying me, (December 1989). I called her back and that I told her that I wanted nothing more to do with her and told her to get out of my life.

It was because of that theft and her refusal to admit that the theft hurt me that I turned my back on her. I still hadn’t turned my heart against her and tried several times throughout the years to reach out to her,and be nice to her-  even calling her on the phone in November 2009 to inform her of a family member’s death. For which I got repaid with a barrage of obscenties and her calling the police on me! And more lies! I received an email that our Aunt Doris had died. I called my father and told him. Knowing that he too had finally reached the end of the rope with Joan and he had kicked her out of his life some months before, I asked him if he still had Joan’s phone number. He said yes. I told him Joan should be told of Aunt Doris’ passing. I meant for HIM to call Joan. But he was tired, and told me to call Joan. So I did. And after yelling at me – she called him up and yelled at him – an 89 year old man! So how does Joan relate this on the internet? I’m going around asking family members (plural) to get her phone number to bother her.

But it was when that filthy book came out – with the slander that I have a criminal and arrest record – her mocking me being infertile and her mocking my miscarriage – my heart turned black against her. It is because of Joan’s conscious decisions to slander me, falsely accuse me of things I haven’t done, steal from me and lie about it, mock the death of my son, write me a letter telling me my husband got the next-door pregnant when that house was vacant,  and many other harassments – that I have finally removed her from my heart. In 1974, when we were re-united, I welcomed her into my life and my heart. I told her in December 1989 to get the hell out of my life and she refuses to do so. I have suffered now TWENTY-THREE YEARS OF HARASSMENT AND LIES FROM HER. It is Joan’s own actions and words that have killed any love I ever had for her or sympathy I ever had for her “traumas” suffered because of her adoption.

oh – one last word – remember – whenever Joan has ever said that Ruth did this, or Ruth did that – she has NEVER offered any proof! She likes to say that she’s had “mulitple orders or protection against me, dating from the 1980’s.” – but offers no proof. I, on the other hand, have offered ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENTS that proof what she says is a LIE. The one and only order of protection she ever got against me was for six months in 1993 – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. She never got any restraining orders against any other family member. Joan and I have not been in court “multiple times” either. There were THREE cases – in 1993, 1995 and 1999.

Also in December 2004, I was behind in my property taxes due to loss of income when my husband had open heart surgery. My house was being foreclosed. I swallowed my pride and wrote Joan a nice letter to BEG her for money – she still owes me for all that money she stole from me in 1989. I asked her for even TEN lousy bucks. And she threw me to the curb! She had the nerve to file harassment charges against me. But the court refused to hear it because the letter was not threatening. But she reports that in early in 2005 the judge “dismissed the charges because the courts were tired of it all (the Joan-Ruth feud).

Wait til I get my scanner working again – and I will scan the paperwork from that incident as well!

Remember – what you read on this blog is the truth – and I back up what I say with actual court documents. Because my name is Ruth – put a T in front of it and what do you get – TRUTH.

Joan Wheeler’s tweets of Jan 28, 2013 – the rantings of raving lunatic. February 5, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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Joan Wheeler’s Tweets Jan 28th

On Saturday  January 26, my cousin’s husband died. I didn’t know about it. I was sleeping all day Saturday, worked Saturday night. Sunday night, I was off from work, but was up all night doing housework. Slept Monday – work Monday night. At 2am, I was slightly injured when an elevator at work dropped suddenly. I only suffered some muscle strain. Went to ER – then home. At 4am – went to bed. Slept until 10:30, 11am. Drinking coffee and reading twitter and I find that I’m using my cousin’s death to spread rumors about Joan. I’m like, I just fucking woke up – what the hell did I do now? While I’m fucking sleeping? – So I call my cousin Nancy and asked if there was a death in the family.  And she tells me. I then call my other cousin Becky and she gives me the details. Yet Joan has me charged, convicted and condemned of using this guys death to bother her. And then further uses this event to spout her stupid crap once again.

Outside of the fact in tweets #6,7 where Joan Wheeler is accusing me of doing something I have not done, and spreading lies about me – are these the messages of a sane person?

Tweets #8, 16, 17 are totally off the wall! Melissa’s husband just died, no one is suggesting she is giving her 4 year old up for adoption – yet Joan Wheeler is speculating about it on public internet.

My comments are in italics

1. Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

That little girl is now a half orphan. Too many, too many.

10:12 AM – 29 Jan 13 ·

2. Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Can’t be on Facebook now. Too many deaths since Sept. Very sad. In shock. Another 2nd cousin, adopted fam, died, father of 2 yr old daughtr

3.                        Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Trauma. Sadness. Generational. Must see Aunt soon to tell her I love her. She does’nt know, would kill her: granddaughter lost husband.

4. 19m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Yes. Another new half orphan. This one will not be given up for adoption. I don’t blame my Dad for giving me up. His wife died.

Nobody in the family said ANYthing about adoption.

5. 22m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Please pray for Mom who lost her husband Sat morn. She’ll need family around her, her sisters, brothers, now keep her safe. Await memorial.

6. 26m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Will they butt into this family tradegy? (speculation, NOT any truth). Yes, we are all family. They are not wanted in this family group. My Twitter friends, please pray.

This family group invited me to family brunch held at Country Buffet on December 23, 2012, even called my cousin Nancy a few times to get hold of me because they didn’t have my new phone number.

7. 27m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

My sisters are on Twitter. Blocked them. They will get these Tweets to spread rumors I am causing trouble. Father of new widow avoids them.

Joan’s words speak for themselves. The only person spreading rumors is Joan herself. And I just saw the father of new widow on Dec. 23, 2012. and yeah, we’re on twitter – deal with it.

8. 29m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Wonder if anyone will suggest to my 2nd cousin that her “4 yr old daughter needs 2 parents” so give her up for adoption?

What the fuck?

9. 30m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Ripples…My Aunt, 86, pregnant at same time my Mom was, sees my Mom when she sees me. Dementia now. Doesn’t know about granddaughter’s loss

This aunt, my godmother was lucid when I saw her on Dec. 23, 2012.

10. 33m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Ripple effect. My mother died when I was 3 months old. Grievinf father told to give me up for adoption because I “needed 2 parents”. WTF

WTF is right! – And this has WHAT to do with Melissa’s hubby just dying?

11. 34m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Too much trauma. Ripple effect. My daughter, age 26, grieves along side of her cousin. They shared a childhood. Death, loss, nightmares.

oh geez! so dramatic!

12. 36m Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Another death. Young father killed in car crash, leaving behind wife, age 26, and 4 year old daughter. The wife is my 2ndcousin, by blood.

First cousin, once removed.

13. Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

For what purpose is it to remake a child’s birth certificate in adoption? You have new custody..is that enough? Guardianship keeps inline

14. 28 Jan Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

there is no god. To take away a child’s father id creul. You took away y mother + gave me new one. Fuk’ed me over. Another one now.

Um Joan, Melissa’s daughter is not YOU. Stop this crazy talk.

15. 28 Jan Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Death…you come upon us when we think we know time. You took my mother when I was a babe. Yu took my cousin’s hubby + left a 4 yr old: why

why? because we are all mortal – none of is going to live forever. and the only person who knows time is Dr. Who.

16. 28 Jan Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

Death be not proud! Do not take the widows and the children and make them puppets for the adoption mills! Not one more lost to adoption…

Death be not proud! Joan really needs to be in theatre!  Um, Joan, did Melissa say she was giving her daughter up for adoption?

17. 28 Jan Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

As I watch the new half orphans march passed me, I see their tiny faces and think: you have people who will not stand for you to be adopted

Oh right – Joan – you have NO right to stick your nose into other people’s business – be it about adoption or anything else.

18. 28 Jan Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

I cannot control my grief. too many deaths. too much loss, too much, too much. There is no reaason.

Their deaths are not about YOU Joan and YOUR feelings. We grieve because we will miss them, yes, but their death is about THEM. Get over yourself Joan.

19. 28 Jan Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily

I grieve for my 2nd cousin’s husband, dead in car accident. Gone too soon. Wife and child left behind. Momma, like you, they died too soon.

The only comment she made that made any damn sense and contained any kind of respect for Melissa.

comments on this blog post:

1. Paula

She does belong in theatre…musical comedies. :)



– roflmao! – I was reading aloud the tweets to my husband – using dramatic tones – we were both laughing so hard.

. gertmcqueen – February 5, 2013 

Everything is from the dialogue in her head, which isn’t based on reality!
what would the musical score be?
and what kind of musical would that be like? It would have to be one person singing to them self…oh wait a minute…she does that already and when the inner dialogue can’t stay in her head, she opens mouth/typing fingers and leaves no room for doubt in everyone’s mind just how bad it/she is!

3. RuthFebruary 5, 2013

Speaking of theatre – I printed this list out and read them aloud to my husband. I really emoted with the reading. But I failed in finding the motiviation of my character. Method acting teaches us to examine our character and ask “what’s my/their motivation?”

The only motivation I can think of behind these silly tweets is pure stupidity and craziness.

February 3, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Joan Wheeler is one such ‘self’!

The title of this post, and the article within, are NOT of my writing. I recently ‘re-read’ the following article and was stuck to find the reference to narcissistic-ness, in an article about Buddhist philosophy. It’s one of those things where until you become aware of it, it doesn’t show itself, but once you are aware of it, it is everywhere! That’s the beauty of studying wisdoms; you are always learning!

Now, if a reader is unfamiliar with this subject, the following may be a bit heavy shedding but give it a try; there is much worth here. I have been a student/practitioner of many wisdom based traditions for over 30 years; Buddhism is only one. I will be bolding certain sentences; this is my own way of bringing the attention to aspects of Joan Wheeler’s narcissistic nature. The bolding does not…

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chasing away Midwinter darkness and bringing in light – something Joan Wheeler really needs to learn February 2, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, February 2nd is Midwinter. In popular American culture, we call it Groundhog Day. A groundhog comes up out of his den, sees his shadow, gets scared and runs back into his den. This means we will have six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t see his shadow, he stays out. This means we will have an early spring. I don’t really pay attention to that – but the Native Americans and older cultures did. In 2013, we have the modern meterologists to tell us what the weather will be like in the weeks to come.

In the Catholic Church, today is Candlemas. Where candles are lit and candles to be used in  church in the following months are blessed.

In Pagan traditions, today is Imbolc – Midwinter, where we light candles to bring the light once more into our homes. The dark dreary days of Winter are passing. The daylight hours are growing longer.  And we examine our lives – to see where we should shed light – and to rid ourselves of dark things.

Joan Wheeler lives a very dark life. She sits and wallows in her self pity. She really should let some light into her life.

The following is a brief exchange Gert and I just had on facebook. It started out with me talking about my cat Pippin. And Gert replied, and then I commented. When I read what I wrote, I thought “what a good blog post this would be.” And so here it is:

Ruth:    as you know, Pippin is a very well-adjusted feline, for being an adotee. However, he doesn’t like other felines in HIS house. So as long as the stray cat is on the porch and not IN the house, Pippin just turns his back. I have been teaching him that we don’t turn our backs on the homeless, and we must – in all charity – feed the poor stray cat.

Gert:    oh brother!! now there’s something joan should do to get her mind off shit…take care of others

Ruth:     right – she doesn’t live too far from the SPCA – she should go volunteer and help those homeless animals. or go downtown to the City Mission and help with homeless humans. Or help out in any food pantry – and I don’t mean any kind of counseling – with her messed up head, she’d mess up somebody else’s head! What she could be doing is bagging food items for pantries, pouring coffee or ladling soup/meals. – but I guess that’s just too menial for her – it’s beneath her dignity to do hands-on work for those that are less fortunate. She’d rather sit at her computer and bitch and whine all day how she’s been afected by adoption.
1. gertmcqueen

Gert here; Ruth didn’t see my next comment so here it is, plus more…

that’s the problem with those like her…they are so self-centered only giving lip service to those that are in need and they do nothing…notice what she has on her tweeter account…videos of seriously horrorable misuse of children…I believe she gets off on that shit…and then she and others think they are doing the world a service by saying those abused kids should not be adopted …instead of getting their hands dirty by doing just what you suggest…doing SERVICE  to those that are less fortunate than themselves.

I have, in the past, volunteered in food pantries and was on the board of the Urban Mission, and spoke with abused women and recovering addict groups. I currently volunteer for Hospice!

What good does Joan’s carrying on DO? all she does is browbeat people that adopt and don’t see her view of the world. It’s her lost, let her stay in her dark dark world.

February 1, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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as always another look at what goes on with Joan Wheeler

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page



On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon


Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward


Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.


https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation






Joan Wheeler has…

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February 1, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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another great post about adoptees not having a sense of humor

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

 She maintains that adoption causes identity confusion and it is part of the mental illness that adoptees share and have! My, I didn’t know that Joan can make a diagnosis! Perhaps the board of ethics of Social Workers would like to know about this!

 On the public forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, 1adoptee, ie. Joan Wheeler, gives everyone her two cents worth. The first paragraph is a quote from someone that Joan (in italics) is answering. I then give my comments.

  Re: “This just in” from my a-mom! Why do a-rents lie so much???« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2012, 02:26:56 PM »  

I asked well, what was my name when you got me, or was everyone calling me “kid”?.  She just says she doesn’t remember, but that they had “already decided”. I just glared and said within myself, “Well, I do…..” No wonder I…

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February 1, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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angry adoptees have no sense of humor

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

When I commented on Gert’s recent blogpost “Joan Wheeler admits that she has a mental illness!!!” I brought up the subject of my adoptive cat Pippin. Gert came on and created such a ruckus because I failed to mention that about two years ago, she bought a present for Pippin and mailed it to him. To shut her up, I will now post the pictures of Pippin opening his package.

Pippin posing with his mail

Pippin opens his package

Pippin and Blue Godzilla

Blue Godzilla is no match for Pippin the Mighty

Pippin with his Poppy John

Pippin helps John with remodeling.

Pippin enjoys watching Godzilla movies.

He is a music lover.

He is active in sports.

And is a Biker.

He’s a well-rounded adoptee – with many interests and no hangups about who he is or what he is.  So what is wrong with Joan that she’s got…

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Joan Wheeler may have been abused because of her adoption, but this doesn’t give her the right to abuse ME! February 1, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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This morning, Gert highlighted an old post of mine on her blog: “Pippin the Mighty – a well adjusted, very happy adoptee, who is NOT in any sort of state of denial, that I wrote on April 7, 2012. I left this comment on that post, but it should be a separate post all on its own:

A new friend of mine on facebook has been following The Joni Show lately and left this comment:   “Unless she (Joan) wants to realize that her parents’ choices are not a reflection on her, and that she can move forward any time she chooses.”   To which I replied: “she knows all that – she doesn’t WANT to move forward – she WANTS to wallow in her misery – to garner sympathy – oh poor poor pitiful me, I was given up for adoption while my sibs were not. sob”   so yeah – Princess Leia, like countless others are adopted. And are handling it just fine. In recent years on the internet – I’ve seen many “damaged” adoptees. These are the ones who were adopted and suffered abuse at the hands of the people who adopted them. For those, I truly do feel some sympathy.   I have come to realize that Joan must have suffered some sort of physical abuse – tho she has never said so. But the signs are there. Throughout her book – she is fixated on “hand movements” – she describes one abusive relationship in 2007 where the guy is screaming at her and she balls up into a fetal position. – if she was physically abused, then she has my sympathy. HOWEVER – her “damaged” childhood or whatever demon she is fighting DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO ABUSE ME – AND SHE HAS BEEN ABUSING ME SINCE 1983 – AND THIS MUST STOP.   I was three years old when she was adopted – I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. In 1974, when we were reunited, I took her into my life and my heart and was repaid with nothing short of bullshit abuse! Thefts, lying, manipulation, harassment. NO MORE!

1. PaulaFebruary 1, 2013[

Yes. Poor Joan. Does she realize lots of people go through pain but don’t seek revenge on everyone who they blindly and maliciously claim to be responsible for the pain? She is sick and delusional. I wish everytime she posted somewhere on the internet her comments would be automatically tagged “liar, manipulator, and delusional” then you wouldn’t have to do it manually. :)

ROFLMAO! Joan’s name is synonomous with LIAR, MANIPULATOR, DELUSIONAL!

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