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my “harassing” phone call to Joan Wheeler – November 2009 – April 24, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s new post “Joan Wheeler hates it when the siblings of the #birthfamily speak their truth…and the beat goes on!!” she writes the following:

On Marley’s (Greiner) own web site for Bastard Nation, forbiddenfamily posted in 2009 “The Pentagon is reading my website!while my dysfunctional sisters still are causing me trouble to the point I must go to the police to stop their interference.”

What Joan was referring to was the fact that I called her on the phone around 5pm on November 2009. Joan twists the facts of everything. She reports on her website and to other adoptees that I had bothered other family members to get her phone number. WRONG. It was ONE family member – my father. I have addressed this incident many times on this blog, and I will tell the story AGAIN because some people are so thick headed that they can’t see the lies from the truth. Don’t forget now – when Joan says anything – this or that about her birth sisters, she always talks in generalities – like we are “interfering in her life,” or “bothering her.” She never gives any details – dates, times, what was said, what the circumstances were, and she never provides any proof of what she says. On the contrary, when I say something on this blog – I back my words up with documentation – receipts, screen shots of actual email conversations, scans of print outs of email conversations, police and/or court documents. If you want to believe lying words, like Marley, and be an ass – go right ahead. I won’t stop you. But if you profess to want the TRUTH – then partake of what I write – because it IS the truth. And I back up what I say with documentation. And if you profess to want the truth and don’t bother to find out the truth of something – you are an asshole and as guilty as the person who tells the non-truth in the first place.

The following is taken from my blogpost of “Reality is Truth. But all Joan Wheeler knows is self-delusions, fantasies, and lies July 15, 2011”  it contains ACTUAL screenshots of a myspace email conversation that I had with Joan’s own daughter about the incident. And I have included those screenshots here at the end of this post.

Remember, Joan is bitching about —

… that I got her phone number from my father – yes I did. On November 3, 2009 – because my then 85 year old father was tired and I called Joan AS A FAVOR to tell her that a family member died. On the phone Joan subjected me to a barrage of yelling obscentities that even her daughter (who in an email exchange via myspace the next day, came running down the stairs to see what her mother was screaming about).

So here is some info: “Doris Ohl was born June 05, 1919 in Buffalo, Erie, NY, and died October 31, 2009 in Silver Creek, NY. She married (1) Michael W. Herr in Buffalo, Erie, NY, son of Jacob Grant Herr and Gertrude H. Stoll. She married (2) Lou LoManto.”

Doris and Michael were Joan’s original godparents, and Joan Wheeler’s original name was Doris Michol Sippel. (None of this information is private, Joan plasters this all over the internet, and the info on Doris was taken from an online internet family tree.   Addendum: July 16, 3:00am, ok, I was doing research – do you know that hotmail saves EVERY email you send? So I found the original email from my Uncle. –

From:   To:   Subject: RE: Aunt Doris  Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 08:39:56 +0000   Hi Uncle Rich  thank you forwarding this to me. Can you send me Wayne’s email so I can send him my condolences?    Everything is going fine. I had a small vacation, which I used for housework. lol. all the stuff you never seem to get to, like getting behind furniture and degreasing cabinets. Also had to clean out the utility room. got a new washing machine, the old one went kaput. I found some missing socks amidst the dust bunnys back there. lol.    Love  Ruth

Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 08:33:33 -0500  From:  To:  Subject: Fw: Aunt Doris   Received this from Wayne about his Mother (Uncle Mikes first Wife.)  Dad, Opa and Uncle Rich  —–Forwarded Message—–  From: Wayne D Herr  Sent: Nov 1, 2009 7:57 AM  To: silverdick1 .. judy , Richard Herr  Subject:   We spent a very hard week this week, but last night @ 9:45pm  Mom pasted after a very hard week for her. I believe she is happy now, she was ready. Eileen and I were with her so she did not have to die alone. This past sunday she told me she was going to see Edmund and she might even talk to Michael. Thank you for your prayers. Love, Wayne

Joan’s self-delusions and the facts are that Joan cannot accept the REALITY and the TRUTH that her “mean and nasty” sister Ruth couldn’t possibly call her on the phone for the simple reason of doing her father (and Joan) a FAVOR. Further, she cannot STAND for the TRUTH of the phone call to be made public. Instead, Joan twists the FACTS of the event of November 3, 2009 and reports it on the internet that I called her as an act of harassment.

The phone call was made by ME, around 5pm. Later that evening, around 10pm, I emailed my niece, Joan’s daughter via myspace. We were myspace buddies and facebook buddies at the time. Here is the transcription of the email exchange between her and me, and the graphics are the actual screen shots of that exchange that I captured on July 14, 2011.  I also have included a screen shot of Joan’s blog (also captured on July 14, 2011, that shows Joan’s version of the phone call. Notice she says really nothing about the phone call. Because deep down, she knows the TRUTH about that phone call – that I obtained the phone number from a tired 85 year old man, as  A FAVOR TO BOTH HIM AND JOAN to let Joan know that her original godmother and namesake had died. AND Joan fails to tell everyone HER subsequent actions! After screaming obscenities at me, subjecting me to verbal emotional abuse, she then called my father and SCREAMED AT HIM – AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN, WHO WAS NOT FEELING WELL THAT DAY! That is called ELDER ABUSE! And of course, Joan doesn’t tell what happened when SHE made an abusive phone call to an elderly man – that the call was terminated when the tired elderly man HUNG UP ON HER!

So why isn’t the COMPLETE TRUTH about that phone call of November 3, 2009 published on Joan’s blog? Because she doesn’t want to tell the truth – she always presents HER twisted version of the truth – she wants people to think that I, Ruth Pace am a bitch, and all I do is harass her by getting her phone number from relatives and call her up and bother her. But Joan can whine on a forum that when another relative died, she wasn’t notified – well, because when she was notified of a relative’s passing, she went all f’ing crazy! Who does Joan thinks she is? That she can treat people like dirt and they have to accept it? This is why Joan is an outsider – she has no family – either birth or adoptive – BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS TREATED US LIKE DIRT.   So here is the transcript of the myspace email:

Nov 3, 2009 RE: something happened today  Ladymoondancer ~ says

To: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit… (@myspacecom)  I got an email, (from a relative)that my Uncle Mike’s first wife Doris died on Saturday, Oct. 31. Uncle Mike and Aunt Doris were your mom’s original godparents and she was named for them (Doris Michol).  so I thought she should know about it. I called the old number but it was disconnected so I called my father and he gave me your mom’s number. So I called her. She asked how I got the number. I told her. She said “Big mistake.” then she said she didn’t want any contact from me. Fair enough I thought. She was calm at this point, but then she said tersely, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris, but I do not want to hear from you. My mother is dying.” (I have heard this, and I felt bad, I thought, shit, this is bad getting bad news now and all. (Ruth’s note – April 24, 2013 – as an example of how Joan exagerrates things to manipulate people, she had been reporting on the internet that her mother had been dying almost every week – then publishes a picture of her celebrating her birthday in the nursing home – and looked quite spry for a lady in her 90’s. She passed in March 2012 – over two years from November 2009 where it was reported she was dying.)

But then you mom said, “She (her mom) does not want to hear from you.” (I was not calling for her). Then your mom started screaming about her sisters. She said that I threw her out of the family.  Cathy, I just sat there staring at my computer screen. I was in shock. She was screaming so hard I could not understand what she was saying. I did hear “you are not my sister.” She was ranting and raving. I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. All I did was call her to tell her that her godmother had died. I got angry. I did not call to make trouble. I swear to you Cathy. I did not. I swear on the soul of my unborn son that I lost in 1985. I did not call to make trouble, but dammit, why should I be subjected to her verbal abuse? So I said “You know what? You’re right. You’re not my sister. You don’t know how to behave like a sister. so fuck you.”  and then I hung up.

Cathy, I was so upset. I wanted to go to my dad’s house. I left my house with my washing machine running. I only grabbed a sweater and my keys. I was still in my slippers. I was crying so hard then when I was on Genesee St. I couldn’t see. I stopped at my cousin’s house and she calmed me down. (Ruth’s note April 24, 2013 – Nancy T.)  I went on to my Dad’s. In the meantime, she had called him and when she started screaming at him, he hung up on her.

He had told me a couple of weeks before that he had thrown her out of his house because she was whining again about no money. He told her to get a job, like we have all been telling her for the past 25 years. She said she didn’t like Polish people. Well his mother came from Poland and we are all part Polish, so what the heck? She wanted money from him to fix her car.  When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.”  Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?

I swear to you Cathy, your mom needs a psych consult. My father said she is mentally ill, and I see that. I am sorry to tell you this, but I believe it. All she had to say was, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris. Goodby.”  there was no reason for her to off on me like she did, or call the cops on me. If she hauls me into court for harassment, all she is going to get is a psych consult. Because I will insist on it. She threatened my life once before. The district attorney knows this.  I am not going to write to you again about this. I just wanted you to know what went down. I undertstand that she is your mother and you love her.

But geez, she is my little sister, I love her too. Why the hell would I have called to tell her about Aunt Doris? I can’t stand this anymore. I’m done. I didn’t call her to make trouble I swear. I won’t make the same mistake again.

ps I already shredded the piece of paper that I wrote her phone number on. I did not memorize it. I swear to you, I will not call her, I will not drive over there. I will not contact her. I am done. I try to do the right thing and all I get is a kick in the teeth AGAIN. no more.

Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today  *~*~They call me Cat, Kitty Cat*~*~ saysTo: Ladymoondancer ~ look im sorry bout wat has happened.   i originally wrote a message earlier but then i guess time warner decided to have a hiccup so it never sent, which gave me another chance to write with out being so mad. i am very sorry bout aunt doris’s passing. its too bad yet another person who probably was good has gone. i am sorry that mom did that. i guess my question to u is- y would u think shed wanna hear some one has passed, coming from u?…..u know better.lol. as to how she feels and how u feel. i think it best to stay clear of us. i would not tempt her. i know u said u wipe ur hands of her. not to sound like a bitch- but it would be best. i hope this means Kathy and Gertrude too. no contact with her at all. no smart things from her blogs or anykind of publication she has. she has it in her head u all are like gonna do ur best to hurt her….….which if u r i have to say- so not cool……anyways, i understand u all r getting old, but my mom has good reason to think none of u wont try anything- the wheeler’s r fucking nuts!…well u sippels are a piece of work too….lol… i want to make it clear that none of u will not come into contact with my mom, my brother, or my nana- none of them want it or can handle it. as for me. if either of the other 2 wanna have any contact- they will have to ask u to write me a message via myspace. i do not want any disturbances from anyone- i want my own life. i deserve it. i wanted things to go different- i hoped everyone would get over everything so that when times like these came- we’d all be civil. i was surely wrong. mom just has alot of hurt. not saying none of u dont, but i see it of course more form her. if any one else passes- let maryelle or joselyn contact mom. gpa sippel should have known better not to give my moms number out to anyone. so yea- i was there kind of when u called. i was taking a shower- and thought something was wrong. she was crying and yelling that u had called. i got mad and thought- here we go again i told her i didnt give a crap bout watever happened between u 2. but yea she was very distrought. so please- fo my sake- no more contact, ever- from any of u in any form. leave her alone- let her write her lil things online- its a free country and the internet is free- i mean we allow freaky ass porn!- let her do her shit in peace. let her, my brother and my nana be in peace. and im sorry for the way everything went down. it was a fragile time for everyone and i am sorry. i wish i knew this doris woman, she must have been a good woman. and please- no response to this other than- telling me that u will keep ur promise and tell the other 2 to stay away from us. thanks, and sorry again.

Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today  Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit…   o(k I hear ya.  I agree with you that it was not a smart thing to call. but as I said, I only wanted to let her know about Aunt Doris.  but you know, you are a little unfair. you say steer clear of Dennis and your Nana. I understand you are only looking out for your family. I am not looking to call them. Neither is Gert or Kathy.  As for your mom’s blog, well, yeah, it’s a free country and all, like you say, so why is it, that only the sippels must censor themselves? Your mom can go on and on and say this and that about us. but the minute we say ANYTHING, it’s always, “don’t do that. it will hurt Joni.”

What about my hurt? Do you think I like being labeled scum of the earth? When all I ever did was set limits? Like telling your mom and dad, that I will not be disrespected?  Did I ever call somebody’s place of employment for 6 months straight and tell them that they have a thief and a computer hacker working for them? do you know how embarrased I was? do you know how embarrased I was when I met Mayor Anthony Maseilo and he saw my name tag and said, “Ruth Sippel, now where do I know that name from?” from the crazy letters your mom wrote to him. When here I am, at a symposium for block clubs, and passed a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, doing things in local government, only to have the mayor look at me like I’m crazy thanks to your mom.  So I’m supposed to sit back and let this happen to me year after year after year? Or your mom calling the immigration department in England to scheme to have Kathy deported from there and sent back to Buffalo, when it was always Kathy’s dream to live there. Or how Kathy gets a letter from some college professor in Holland who proceeds to tell Kathy how to live her life because your mom has told him some lies about her.  So we are supposed to get hurt over and over?  And everything was ok for the past few years until your mom goes on the internet on her blog and singles out THE SIPPEL SISTERS. and slanders us. internet is free speech? ok, so I have the free speech too. It works both ways. and this is something your mom refuses to see.

She wants us to respect our privacy, and not to gossip about her,  but she runs into Francine’s brother and then starts telling him about what a bitch I am. And he’s like, hey, I’ve known Ruth since I was 1 year old, and she’s my aunt, and who is this whackjob and then he finally has to tell her to shut up in the middle of the muffler shop and he gets his boss looking at him, and I have to hear it from his other brother.

As for the Sippels being a piece of work, well yep. That’s right. Gert put herself thru school and became a dental hygeinist. Worked for the government. Retired a few years, is now an artist. Kathy scrimped and saved and emigrated to another country, became an accomplished guitarist and school teacher. Me, I have held the same job for 37 years. Am renovating my home. Was a professional dancer for a time. Board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for belly dancers. organized and head up the block club on my street. My brother before he died, worked in a hospital, studied medieval warfare. And all of us are artists and writers. I am head of a local Star Trek fan group.

And all of us have never stolen money from each other, maybe have snipped at snapped at each other, but always came back to hugs and kisses. Never tried to set each other up with the police and the courts. Never been arrested. Never sent false letters telling them that their spouse was unfatithful, never called false child abuse on each other.  As for my father “should have known better to give your mom’s phone number out.”  Why? I told him why I was going to call her. So she got kicked out of his house a few weeks ago? And whose fault is that?  so everything is always the fault of somebody else. Your mom is mentally ill, there is no reasoning with her. I am not out to hurt her. Neither are my sisters.

But ask yourself, who is out to hurt whom? Do you think I was just all happy go lucky to open a letter and read my spouse got a women pregnant, and the house was vacant? So it was a lie.  And why did your mom sent me that? to have me say, O I’m so happy to hear this letter. No, the person who is doing the hurting is your mom. And then she gets surprised to find out that nobody likes her. or wants her in their life. and she has only herself to blame.

April 24, 2013 – so the next day in Nov 2009, I call Gert and tell her what happened and she calls the Town of Tonawanda police – to tell them, that it was RUTH who made the phone call, NOT her or Kathy. And what did the police say to Gert? – “Don’t worry, We know all about her (Joan)” roflmao!

so here is the actual myspace conversation between me and Joan’s daughter:

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