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A personal message to Joan Wheeler from her sister, Ruth Pace January 15, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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from my “What is demanded of Joan Wheeler:”

  • Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
  • Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
  • Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
  • Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
  • Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
  • For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
  • Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
  • Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
  • Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
  • For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
  • For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
  • For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
  • For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
  • An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
  • For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.

awful

thank you Joan – for taking the love I once had for you and killing it. And don’t worry about looking at ME in the eye – worry about looking at YOURSELF in the mirror – for what you’ve done to me, to our other sisters, and our whole family.

1. Ruth

a comment I have on another website that is awaiting approval: Joan Wheeler says: “Too many people had power over me when I was growing up. What do you do when an entire networkk of adoptive family and natural family conspire against you as the adoptee who is never supposed to know the truth?”

oh for crying out loud. What entire network conspired against her? My mother died, leaving behind 5 little kids, ranging in age from 3 months old to 9 years. My father relinquished Joan to adoption. My maternal aunt had a childhood friend whose brother and his wife could not have children. My aunt suggested this couple to my father. Conspiracy? I suppose so you could call it that, but I call it giving a home to a baby that could not be cared for. Network? Again, I suppose you could call it that. I call it a group of people who were looking out for a baby and providing a home for it. At least she wasn’t placed on a mountainside and left to die of exposure.

Things can be perceived differently by people, depending on their circumstances. If Ms. Wheeler wants to beleive that people “conspired” against her, that is her right. I just wish she would hold to what she writes. ” … am not supposed to be hurt? To be angry? Not supposed to speak out against the wrongs committed?”

Too many wrongs were committed to me and I speak out against them in my blog. Ms. Wheeler objects to me writing about those wrongs and refuses to understand why I am hurt.

Ms. Wheeler continues on with her delusion that I, a birth sister, have deep emotional wounds because of my sister’s adoption. This is false. I have deep emotional wounds because after I opened my heart and life to her in 1974, she embarked on a campaign of hate and revenge against me. Harassments that continue to the present.

I have been accused of “not understanding the adoptee” and “not willing to learn” by people who do not have all the facts of my family’s situation, or of the full extent of the harassments and slanders that I have endured – all by someone I once loved.

I took the time back in the 70′s to understand, and all I got out of it was lies, false accusations to the police, calls to my employer with false accusations, lying letters about my husband sent to me. What did the author say above? “When he fought with me, he got attention. He knew enough about me, as my supposed friend, to know exactly how to hurt me. I don’t think I knew as much about myself in many ways. Sometimes it is the people who most want to hurt you who dig the fastest and deepest to your buried truths.”

Why does my own flesh and blood want to hurt me? Because in the deepest recesses of her heart, she is pissed that she was adopted, and I was not. Because as we grew older and married, her marriage faltered. My first one ended and I began a second. A letter telling me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant? This was only an attempt to break up a marriage. It didn’t.

Perception is in the eye of the beholder. I perceive my own flesh and blood as a bitter woman, lashing out at everyone who ever “conspired” against her when she was a baby. I have been accused of stalking her for her entire life. Which would be impossible, as I was only 3 years old when she was born, and didn’t know her name or where was she was until I was 16. Even then, my siblings and I waited until she was of legal age to contact her. Which she was very happy when we did. I have been accused of violating her directive of staying out of her life 40 years ago. Which would also be impossible as only 31 years ago, I was one of her chosen bridesmaids and 28 years ago, I was the one who drove her and her new baby daughter home from the hospital. I do not understand why a person who boasts of her “college degrees’ can continuously mix up and falsely report data like this. And most of her data contradicts itself from one venue to another.

If Ms. Wheeler’s perceptions of things are so skewed that she continues to report things falsely, and/or incorrectly and she gets called out on the carpet for those falsehoods, well, such is life.

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Comments

1. Ruth - January 15, 2014

a comment I have on another website that is awaiting approval:
Joan Wheeler says: “Too many people had power over me when I was growing up. What do you do when an entire networkk of adoptive family and natural family conspire against you as the adoptee who is never supposed to know the truth?”

oh for crying out loud. What entire network conspired against her? My mother died, leaving behind 5 little kids, ranging in age from 3 months old to 9 years. My father relinquished Joan to adoption. My maternal aunt had a childhood friend whose brother and his wife could not have children. My aunt suggested this couple to my father.
Conspiracy? I suppose so you could call it that, but I call it giving a home to a baby that could not be cared for. Network? Again, I suppose you could call it that. I call it a group of people who were looking out for a baby and providing a home for it. At least she wasn’t placed on a mountainside and left to die of exposure.

Things can be perceived differently by people, depending on their circumstances. If Ms. Wheeler wants to beleive that people “conspired” against her, that is her right. I just wish she would hold to what she writes. ” … am not supposed to be hurt? To be angry? Not supposed to speak out against the wrongs committed?”

Too many wrongs were committed to me and I speak out against them in my blog. Ms. Wheeler objects to me writing about those wrongs and refuses to understand why I am hurt.

Ms. Wheeler continues on with her delusion that I, a birth sister, have deep emotional wounds because of my sister’s adoption. This is false. I have deep emotional wounds because after I opened my heart and life to her in 1974, she embarked on a campaign of hate and revenge against me. Harassments that continue to the present.

I have been accused of “not understanding the adoptee” and “not willing to learn” by people who do not have all the facts of my family’s situation, or of the full extent of the harassments and slanders that I have endured – all by someone I once loved.

I took the time back in the 70′s to understand, and all I got out of it was lies, false accusations to the police, calls to my employer with false accusations, lying letters about my husband sent to me. What did the author say above? “When he fought with me, he got attention. He knew enough about me, as my supposed friend, to know exactly how to hurt me. I don’t think I knew as much about myself in many ways. Sometimes it is the people who most want to hurt you who dig the fastest and deepest to your buried truths.”

Why does my own flesh and blood want to hurt me? Because in the deepest recesses of her heart, she is pissed that she was adopted, and I was not. Because as we grew older and married, her marriage faltered. My first one ended and I began a second. A letter telling me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant? This was only an attempt to break up a marriage. It didn’t.

Perception is in the eye of the beholder. I perceive my own flesh and blood as a bitter woman, lashing out at everyone who ever “conspired” against her when she was a baby. I have been accused of stalking her for her entire life. Which would be impossible, as I was only 3 years old when she was born, and didn’t know her name or where was she was until I was 16. Even then, my siblings and I waited until she was of legal age to contact her. Which she was very happy when we did. I have been accused of violating her directive of staying out of her life 40 years ago. Which would also be impossible as only 31 years ago, I was one of her chosen bridesmaids and 28 years ago, I was the one who drove her and her new baby daughter home from the hospital. I do not understand why a person who boasts of her “college degrees’ can continuously mix up and falsely report data like this. And most of her data contradicts itself from one venue to another.

If Ms. Wheeler’s perceptions of things are so skewed that she continues to report things falsely, and/or incorrectly and she gets called out on the carpet for those falsehoods, well, such is life.


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