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Joan Wheeler tries to destroy my life, instead of fixing her own miserable life. April 25, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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I want everyone to really look at this meme and really digest what it says:


Now, let’s apply this to what Joan Wheeler has done to me. 

1990 stole hundreds of dollars from me by dipping into a joint checking account that we had together for the purpose of buying real estate. Joan used MY money to fix the brakes on HER car – without asking me. A refund from the lawyer we used was split between Joan and me – Joan agreed to give me all the money the lawyer sent her to compensate me for the money she stole. In December 1990 she phoned me and said she changed her mind and was keeping the money. I told her to go fuck herself and get the fuck out of my life. 

1991 Joan begins her campaign to destroy my life. She calls my house and speaks to my husband’s cousin who was living with us at the time. Joyce scribbled a note to me to go on the bedroom phone and listen in. I heard lies, lies, lies – and later, Joyce said that Joan was trying to turn her against me.

Joan’s husband at this time, was being a bad boy – he was making ATM withdrawals from the checking account he had with Joan and was using the money at a strip joint. Joan accused me of hacking into her checking account by robbing the ATM and stealing the money.  

1992 out of the clear blue sky – greeting cards supposedly from Joan’s children suddenly began arriving at my house – for my husband “Uncle John” but clearly omitting Aunt Ruth – Joan begins brainwashing her own children. 

1993 Joan gets an annoyance phone call and blames me – calls the phone company to set up a trace trap (pre caller-ID days). To bait me into calling her, she forges a letter from her son – addresses the envelope in her handwriting to me, but the letter inside – written by Joan, but she signs it as her 10 year old son. I stupidly took the bait and called her. But she says, “hold on a minute” and hangs up. Thinking we were disconnected, I called back. She says “wait a minute” again and hangs up. I call again – same thing. I gave up. But Joan calls the phone company and files a police report that I called her and hung up on her – three times. Which is all they need to file charges. Joan LIED AND FILED A FALSE POLICE REPORT ON ME. Phone records at that time did show three short incoming calls from my number. They don’t show who hung up on whom! So we went to court and the judge gave her a restraining order against me – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. I know the date cos it was my birthday – August 9 – and still have the court documents. 

1994 – a typing mistake made by a billing clerk in the billing office where I work mixed Joan’s hospital bill up with a patient with a similar name. Joan claimed I did it. She called my job with a complaint. They investigated and traced the mistake to the typing mistake. They also told Joan that I could NOT have done it, as I don’t have access to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it – she KNEW I did it – and for six months – an almost daily basis – kept calling the hospital and telling anyone who answered the phone that I was a bitch and a troublemaker. She told numerous people to fire me. – I was told later about this and hospital administrators even had a meeting and people were told that when Joan Wheeler called to hang up on her. 

December 1994 – Joan calls child abuse on herself, posing as me, giving out my name, and naming my husband as a child molester of Joan’s children. Joan writes to New York State Child Abuse center and tells them that in 1993 I was sentenced to six months PROBATION. No – I was sentenced to a six month order of protection and told to stay away from Joan – and it was ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal – which means that if I stayed away from Joan for six months, and I did, it would all be dismissed – and it was. BIG DIFFERENCE FROM WHAT PROBATION IS.

January 1995 – Joan writes several letters to elected officials in the city of Buffalo, including the mayor – these letters contained personal and medical information about me, and tells them that I have a criminal record. Joan sends me copies of these letters, which I use to charge her with harassment, but the judge dismisses the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” When Joan received the summons to court, she begins writing letters to my husband and his mother telling them I am a bitch, John should leave me, and asks my mother in law to appear in court against me. My mother in law had never met Joan. Joan kept calling her on the phone until her other son grabbed the phone and swore at Joan that if she called the house again, the police would be called.

 1997 – Joan asks friends of hers to find a hitman to take me out.  

1998 – I received a harassing letter from Joan stating that I was seen driving past her house. I did not have a car at the time so no, I did not drive past her house. I was also accused of violating the order of protection that she had put against me five years earlier – which was the first time I had heard of that – and she had not said that when I took her to court in 1995. 

February 1999 – Joan sends me a letter stating that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. The house was vacant – and since 1987 (when I moved into my house) there were only two babies born at the house next to me – DJ in 1990 and Jesse in 1992.The letter Joan sends me is in an envelope with a return address belonging to a friend that Joan is fighting with. She does not have permission to use her friend’s address. I take Joan to court again for harassment and am granted a one year order of protection against Joan. 

January 2004 – after a few months of relative friendly interaction on the internet via a family photo sharing website that I was trying to build, Joan sends me a filthy email (out of the clear blue sky) accusing me of setting her up. I did not have a home computer at the time, and would use public computers at the downtown library or the medical library at my work (which we were allowed to use). I was out sick for a week in January and did not see Joan’s rotten email. It got buried and I finally saw a few weeks later – and I answered her and told her that our uneasy truce was not going to work because she falsely accused me of something I didn’t do. She emails me back – bitching at me – so I told her via email to go to hell. 

November 2009 – Joan goes to a vanity press to have the book she had been writing for 30 years published. In it were many lie, distortions and misrepresentations of myself, my family, my husband. And out and out libel. Statements that the order of protection that she received against me was for one year, not the six months it actually was for. 

Summer 2012 – tells a friend of hers – one Brian Maloney old gossip about me having a fight with someone back in 1979. Joan tells Brian so much bullshit about me that Brian himself begins to cyber-harass me and even stoops to emotional blackmail by threatening to expose my “dark dirty secret” on the internet. I stood up to his abusive threats by telling him to go right ahead and say what he wants – but the police and the courts would be very interested in how a man who is a total stranger to Ruth, never spoke to Ruth face to face, knows Ruth’s “dark dirty secret.” Brian backs off. – So once again, Joan is trying to ruin my reputation.

November 2012 – writes an anonymous letter to my job accusing me of computer fraud and demands that I be fired.

January 2013 – admits on the internet that she indeed sent that letter and then says that I’ve been calling her house from my job to set up medical appointments for her. 

So let’s sum up the rotten shit Joan has done:

1990 – steals money from me, reneges on repayment plan.

1991 – tries to turn my husband’s cousin against me, accuses me of robbing an ATM.

1992 – begins to use her children as pawns to turn my husband against me. And begins to brainwash her children against me.

1993 – sets me up by baiting me to telephone her house, hangs up on me 3 times, then files a false report on me and hauls me into court.

1994 – begins calling my job with false accusations to have me fired. – Calls child abuse posing as me, trying to get my husband to break up with me. Writes letter to New York State libeling me.

1995 – continues calling my job trying to get me fired, Writes libelous letters about me to various elected officials. Writes to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me. Writes to my husband telling him to leave me.

1997 – tries to get me killed.

1998 – writes stupid harassing letters to me.

1999 – writes to me telling me my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.

2004 – falsely accuses me of things I didn’t do.

2009 – publishes a libelous book that portrays me as criminal.

2012 – contacts my job again to get me fired. Continues to try to ruin my reputation by having a friend of hers threaten me with emotional blackmail.

 So — Joan has a history of trying to destroy me personally, trying to destroy my reputation with elected officials and personal friends and in-laws, trying to destroy my relationship with my fiance and my marriage. And trying to destroy my career. 

What did that picture say again? – “you know how to tell when someone is miserable with their own life? When they look for ways to destroy someone else’s.” 

Joan Wheeler is so miserable in her own rotten life, that instead of trying to fix her own life, she has set out for almost 24 years – to destroy my life. 

That’s why I have this blog – to show the world what a bitch Joan is – and to show that she has not, and never will – destroy me.

  1. gertmcqueenApril 26, 2014

Gert here…
And Ruth is only ONE person that Joan did wrong!

Joan interfered with my minor children and my adoption of my children. She called two false child abuse reports against me. She accused my husband of wrong doings. In between DECADES of no-contract with her Joan would CONTINUE to attempt to interfere with my life.

Joan violated our privacy by writing an article that included our real names.

Joan violated our other sister Kathy’s relationships with friends. Joan enlisted Rene Hoksbergen to intimidate Kathy and con monies from her.

Joan attempted to enlist my grown daughter to commit a crime for her.

Joan wrote a libelous book against EVERY member of the birth family.

Joan Wheeler is garbage! And that’s why we have these blogs…to tell the saga of Joan Wheeler’s deeds.

2. RuthApril 27, 2014

Gert speaks truth – Joan Wheeler is garbage!



Joan Wheeler and her buddy Dana lament over their miserable lives April 24, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Interesting conversation on facebook this week – Joan and her buddy Dana –

Dana says she’s fat and therefore not a human being. Then she says she not self-sustainable. Joan chimes in that she also is not self-sustainable, then mouths nonsense about a woman she knew that had a happy marriage, two kids with one on the way and was heavy and happy.

I can’t put my finger on it, but the whole conversation seems -I don’t know, a self-defeatist attitude shoved on facebook so all can see what losers they think of themselves.

Dana says she’s fat, therefore she’s not a human being. Both her and Joan are not self-sustaining. They both seem to recognize that that is a problem. But neither one talks about solutions. Dana seems to be lamenting that she’s fat and broke. Joan offers no solutions to her buddy and laments that she too is broke. Then talks about another woman who is heavy and happy.

Misery loves company so they say. And this conversation bears that out. If I hadn’t seen this on the internet, I probably would had overheard this taking place in a bar – two down and out women, blubbering on about their “problems” and getting drunk. And neither one coming up with a solution or even bolstering each other’s self-esteem.


I don’t know anything about Dana’s personal life, but I know some of Joan’s – and she’s a frequent patron at bars. Well, that’s the lifestyle she chose. And if that’s the choices in life she makes, that’s up to her. And if she’s suffering – that’s her choice as well. – There is nothing in her life that is a result of ANYthing that I, or her other birth sisters “did” to her.

Joan loves to blame her miserable life on her birth sisters. And in particular, me. It’s always “Ruth did this and Ruth did that.”

Well, besides saying that Ruth did NOT do anything that Joan likes to accuse her of – what of it? Joan falsely accuses Ruth of driving past her house. – Let’s say I did drive past her house – how is that contributing to Joan’s lousy life?

Joan falsely accused Ruth of using her employer’s computers to go on the internet and visit Joan’s website – an accusation that was proven false – because my employer can trace every keystroke I do. So even I did use a hospital computer and visit Joan’s website – how would that contribute to Joan’s lousy life? – oh come on Joan – knock your shit off. I know for a fact that you read my blog – I still have my job, my house, my husband. I still got bills to pay, repairs to do in my house, etc. etc. etc. – In other words: I HAVE A LIFE AND I LIVE IT. I may bitch about Joan here on this blog, but I still live my life.

Joan has no life – her life consists of bitching and moaning about her lot in life – that she was adopted, that nobody understands her, her birth sisters don’t like her, her adopted parents lied to her and blah blah blah.

Gods, Joan, stuff it.

. gertmcqueen – April 24, 2014

Gert here…
leaving the weight issue out of it…

it appears to me that they NEED a man and a relationship to be fulfilled,

I have picked up over time that many of those angry adoptees have major medical issues, because they are angry all the time.

It is interesting that Joan says NOTHING about the new relationship, that’s a secret, maybe there ISN’T one. If Joan isn’t self sustainable, how does she’s think she’ll keep a man? She has been UN-successful as of yet!

2. RuthApril 25, 2014

Joan may not be saying anything about a relationship because she wants to keep her birth sisters from knowing anything about her life and commenting on it. But it’s okay for Joan to comment about OUR lives to strangers – it’s okay for JOAN to get in cohoots with puppets, tell them 30 year old gossip about me having a fight with someone way back in 1979.
Joan has NO relationship with a new man, and just threw that out to see our reaction.
Personally I don’t give a shit if she has a new man or not. I just want Joan to simply shut her mouth about me and stop telling lies about me to everyone she meets – in person or on the internet.

PS – thank you Gert for correcting my spelling mistake in the title of this post – I mixed up “their” and “there” – you know, I can’t be perfect all the time.

Being lied to and lying…the inner workings of #JoanWheeler’s mind! April 19, 2014

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Learning how Joan Wheeler’s mind works,  is a fascinating exercise! She objects strongly that she was lied to, but she thinks NOTHING about how she continuously lies! She does NOT allow anyone to have ‘their own view’ of anything. She is incapable of putting herself in the shoes of another. Her view is the only one that counts!

This post is about what she wrote on the public forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change. The forum is no longer public because I have exposed so much of their negative attitudes. If people don’t want the world to see their words they should never be on any public forum. But, Joan was, still is, on public forums and she continues to lie.

Joan’s inner workings; she rails against injustices done to her but NEVER sees the injustices that she DOES to others. Here she is, as 1adoptee, addressing a quote…

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being cautious on the internet – checking out who contacts you. April 5, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life.
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I posted this as my status on facebook a short while ago –

I got a facebook message the other day – it appeared in my “other” folder in messages – from someone I don’t know. I was comparing notes with another fb friend, who was also contacted by this person. I think I caught the person messaging me in a lie – I copied and pasted to notebook a statement from what she sent me, and copied and pasted a statement from what she sent my friend. And the two didn’t quite add up. It might have been a lie, or a typo on her part.

 I wanted to send my thoughts on that (lie or typo) to my friend and accidentally sent it to the person that messaged me and my friend.

 I don’t like to piss people off for no reason – but the internet can be a scary place – you don’t know who is at the other end of the internet – I check on people who I don’t know who send me friend requests or messages out of the blue.

 I’ve also been known to send friend requests to people who I need to check out – to be able TO CHECK THEM OUT. I am open and honest about things – but sadly, not everyone is.

And when I find out that the person who I’ve been conversing with has not been honest, I will defriend them. If they disrespect me – I will block them.

If you contact me first, expect to be scrutinized. On the other hand, I would expect, and would not be insulted, if someone scrutinized me.

What does #JoanWheeler know about CHIFF? Nothing! She is NOT a adoption reformer, she’s totally ANTI-ADOPTION. April 5, 2014

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Yep, Joan is off and running her mouth, at full speed, over something she doesn’t have a clue about and she’s an annoyance to others, including fellow adoptees and reformers.

Joan can not call herself an adoption reformer, when her position is a non-negotiable position! She wants to ABOLISH adoption (in any form) like in BAN it all together, globally. And she’ll take her position to the adoption conference in CA. I hope more reasonable minds see her foam at the mouth in her hatred. There is no avenue for dialog with Joan…NONE. She will never give a millimeter of an inch! I hope that the real professionals at the conference put her in her place. Joan is a huge mill-stone around the necks of REAL people trying to reform something.

Now for a bit of background, for myself and readers, I present two links and one paragraph of what…

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How many times does #JoanWheeler need to be hit over the head before she learns anything? April 5, 2014

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


She really must be into self-torment and pain on top of that delusional self-importance. She seems to believe that HER life story will SAVE the world from the horrors of ADOPTION.

Joan has been promoting herself as a ‘writer’ and a ‘social worker’ all over the place. Oh sure she has a degree in social work, but she’s never had a job as such. And yes, she has written articles and opinion pieces AND A LIBELOUS BOOK! Seems to me she ought to pick a different career choice. I don’t see where, in the most recent published books of adoptee’s stories, written by adoptees, that Joan has a contributing essay! She DOESN’T! Even adoptees are distancing themselves from her. I have had communication with a ‘elder’ in the reform movement who keeps silent whenever Joan approaches her and has NO INTENTION of getting involved with Joan…but…Joan is so into herself…

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a post on my Family Stories blog – my mom – setting styles for Star Trek Voyager April 3, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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new post on my family stories blog:

My mother – Setting Styles for Star Trek Voyager

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