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Joan Mary Wheeler – I bought some more movies! June 29, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I had a $50.00 rewards certificate from amazon dot com a couple of months ago – and I got the following DVDs, which finally arrived today (June 29, 2015)  I am such a smart shopper – my out of pocket expenses — a whopping $6.00 and change.

 Krull – a fantasy movie

 Willow – fantasy

 Sphinx – mystery/romance set in modern-day Egypt

 The Man Who Would be King – a fantasy film based on a story by Rudyard Kipling

 Shirley Temple in Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm

 Ian McKellan in Gods and Monsters – a bio-pic of film maker James Whale (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein) –

oh wow – not a horror film in the bunch!

 If Joan Mary Wheeler wants to make it her business as to what films I watch or DVDs I buy or how I spend my own money (for which I have a long-time CAREER to obtain) – she should get her facts straight. But then, she never does.




Joan Mary Wheeler is the real horror movie – and one that I would NOT want to see. June 26, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Joan Mary Wheeler likes to run her gossip-filled mouth about me and reports that I was raised on horror movies. Contrary to her warped conception of MY childhood (that she wasn’t even around (YAY) to see first hand) – I was NOT raised solely on horror movies. I saw this one, and stuff like Fantasia, Snow White, Cinderella, Dumbo, Bambi, Ol’ Yeller – and a ton of other stuff – at the theatres. So shut up Joan about MY childhood.

And my goodness – I was only 7 years old when Ben Hur came out and went to see that at the theatre. And where would I have gotten the name Top Cat for a kitty we had – if all I did was watch horror movies?

And how could I have been watcing tv stuff like Mickey Mouse Club, Howdy Doody, Captain Kangeroo, Romper Room, Superman, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear – when all I did was watch horror movies? – Joan Mary Wheeler is an asshole – plain and simple and has no brains what-so-ever!



Joan Mary Wheeler engages in personal attacks against someone who she disagrees with and is taken to task! June 18, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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First a note: Joan Mary Wheeler PUBLICLY attacked someone, and I am PUBLICLY reporting on it. And to quote Joan’s own words which appear further down: when she answered Melinda A. W. – “it is not slander when I am telling the truth.”


Joan Mary Wheeler is currently pissed off at another person – and saying on facebook about the woman, much the same crap she’s been saying about me and my sisters for years. And someone else is telling Joan to shut up, stop slandering, and grow up. – same thing me and Gert Mcqueen have been saying to Joan for years. AND Joan – in her tirades – is admitting to being in “deep depression” and in therapy. – Yet she thinks she has the right to call ME crazy? She says that me and my sisters have been “deeply affected” by HER adoption, and we are crazy. (the other day on facebook). Where’s your medical degree Joan? – now she’s saying another lady has been “deeply affected” by her being a birthmother.  gods, Joan just loves her DRAMA and SLANDERING people.

 AND – the person standing up to Joan – says “where’s your proof?” and “someone’s lying. I want to see proof.” One woman admonishes Joan that just because J.B. let Joan down, Joan should not be betraying confidences – AND another woman told Joan to stop slandering. 

Isn’t that what Gert and I have been saying on our blogs that Joan is a pathological LIAR? – she accuses people of saying this or that, doing this or that – yet offers no clear PROOF of it.  I, on the other hand, have offered police and court documents that prove JOAN MARY WHEELER is the liar – and even handwritten letters and envelopes by Joan that also prove she is a liar.

So what’s the story here? Apparently, there was an important bill to be voted on in Albany the other day, something to do with adoptees and their birth certificates – I don’t fully understand it, because frankly, it is not my passion, therefore I am unclear as to what exactly happened, but apparently a woman named Joyce. B. was supposed to say something that the adoptees wanted her to say, but she didn’t. I’m not sure – so I can’t comment one way or the other – but Joan Mary Wheeler feels BETRAYED by Joyce and was quite vocal about it on facebook and was calling for Joyce to step down from her position as spokesperson (I think). Some of Joan’s adoptee friends agreed with Joan, but a couple, Denise F. C. and Melinda A. W. called Joan out for slandering, bringing personal issues into it, and engaging in personal attacks on Joyce.

Here is the facebook exchange that I am talking about – I have omitted comments by other adoptees that have no bearing on the topic of this blogpost – that being that SOME people now see Joan Mary Wheeler for what we, her birth family saw 30 years ago – that she is mentally unstable, is a liar, offers absolutely NO proof of her lies or anything she says, engages in personal attacks, yells at people when they disagree with her, and brags about her own self-importance as evidence that what she says is the final truth in the matter.

Joan also has a couple of statements about Joyce that ARE EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS – that we were DEEPLY AFFECTED by HER adoption and we WILL NOT ADMIT IT. – so, Joan is in MY brain – to know what I’m thinking and feeling?

The statements below that I have talked about above, are in bold for emphasis. I have also bolded some statements that have been told to Joan over and over by us, but because she does not agree with us on them, we have been labeled by her as “crazy.” Joan also psycho-analyzes Joyce by saying that she knows what Joyce is thinking and feeling, Joyce won’t admit it. – same garbage she says about me.  I have also included some of my notes after some key statements and put them in italic.

June 15, 2015

Joan Mary Wheeler

I am urging all adoption activists who have “liked” Unsealed Initiative’s Facebook Page to UNLIKE the page to give the clear message that we do not like, nor approve of, the incompetent leadership of New York Statewide Adoption Reform’s Unsealed Initiative. Instead, send all your LIKES to NY New York State Adoptee Equality where we have leaders who will lead with competency, respect, while conducting damage control of the mess created by the other group in NYS.

Joan Mary Wheeler

On a deep personal level, Joyce B. has been negatively affected by letting her son go into adoption. She will not admit it, as I spoke with her privately many times between 2005 – 2007. She defends her position as a “birthmother”.

She told me that adoption “is as American as apple pie” and threw me out of UI because I am anti-adoption. She, evidently, is PRO ADOPTION.

She feels she must defend adoption because she gave her son to adoption decades ago. She said, “there will always be mothers who give up their children” and “there will be people to take those children in.”

Joyce cannot admit that her actions led to her son having many problems as an adoptee. She told me his problems. I told her many adoptees DO have problems because of adoption. She cannot reconcile her actions nor her son’s present life, so that is why she is a controlling dictator in her self-appointed role as the leader of Unsealed Initiative. She feels guilty for giving up her so, but she will not admit it.

In those years (2005-2007) Joyce told me she felt that I was ineffectual as an activist because of my admittance of going to therapy. Ha! If it weren’t for my therapy to help me sort out the crazy affects of adoption, I would be dead right now.

STEP DOWN JOYCE B. We do not want YOU to lead US into one disaster after another.

Denise F. C.

You don’t have to be against adoption in order to work for open records. While I know the countless abuses that occur in the practice of adoption, I do see adoption working for adoptees. Kids in foster care have found loving adoptive families. My adoption saved from a family life that had lots of problems I was fortunate to avoid. Adoption is a mixed bag. It is not the glowing institution that some people idealize, but it isn’t completely useless.

The catholic maternity home I was relinquished in now has a program that helps women keep their children. Maybe you should work with organizations like that.

There are women who do not want to parent for various reasons. Open records activism is not about second guessing or shaming birthmothers for their choices.

It sounds like you are unfairly using information told you in confidence to attack her publicly which is uncool. I worked with Joyce in the 1990s and she is a pioneer in the movement. She deserves more respect than this. (Ruth’s note: yes, Joan has done the same thing to me – used things told to her in confidence to slam me and slander me).

Everybody has problems– even the non-adopted. While being adopted colors how we see our problems, adopted people are more effected by the pathologizing by those advancing the primal wound or adopted child syndrome. It is just another reason opponents can justify sealed records because even adopted people are telling us they are different than other citizens.

There are people who have more nuanced and therefore more accurate view of adoption who disagree with the anti-adoption crowd. I think the anti-adoption language turns potential supporters off from joining because your experience isn’t theirs.

If you have a problem with Joyce’s leadership or effectiveness then talk about those things. This is horrible and reflects poorly on those who are against adoption.

If you want to abolish adoption create your own organization, do not use open records organizations to do it. .

Denise F. C.

I am not going to reveal details, but I was the lucky one to be adopted. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have feelings for each other but it was pretty messed up and there was no real stability.

My birthmother never regretted relinquishing me, who am I to argue with her. This wasn’t the lone teen, but an older woman with 3 other kids.

Every family situation is different and there is a spectrum of experience in adoption. I believe adoption can be reformed and made less necessary. I work for supporting single moms so they can keep their children with comprehensive set of services.

Working on Voices of Adoption for 8 years I heard countless adoption stories. People would call me day or night to tell me their stories. I can guarantee you there are so my complexities to the adoption experience that differ from yours.

If you ban adoption, like abortion you just drive it underground where it can be more secretive and horrible.

I do not want anyone to tell a woman what she does with her body whether it is birth control, abortion, adoption, or keeping a child when she is poor. I do not find it helpful in open records by adding more shame to the institution than has already been hoisted.

Part of why records are sealed is the shame put on birth mothers for decisions they made. They can never win in this country. Keep the child and people call you a burden, relinquish the child and they are told they are horrible people. Getting an abortion when you are poor in this country isn’t as easy as you think.

Denise F. C.

Rarely do adults get to choose the optimal thing to do. The best we can do is work for comprehensive birth control, reproductive rights, reform open adoption, take the money out of adoption, and stop the shaming of women and make sure all women regardless of class or race everywhere can be true choice makers.

Joan Mary Wheeler to Denise F. C..

you do not tell me what to do! I do what is right for me! I have been working for adoptees’ civil rights since 1974. I do not support Joyce B. and am taking the opportunity to go public with her character because she must take her personal jealousies and insecurities and step down.

(PS – Ruth’s note – this is the same bullshit reasoning that Joan pulled back in 1994/1995 when she was calling my job repeatedly to get me fired. She got hold of one supervisor and when asked if her complaint had something to do with my job performance – Joan said “no, I just want you people to know what kind of person you have working for you.” The supervisor then told Joan, “I have known Ruth and worked with her for 20 years, her performance on the job is explemary. goodbye.” – by the way, Joan is still doing it – as recently as November 2012, she sent a letter to my job and then bragged about on the internet. (The Huffington Post)

Denise F. C.

Now how did she throw adoptees under the bus?

The thing is if you posted that she did something legislatively you disagreed with or you do not like her betraying confidences, you would have valid arguments that are useful and informative. If it is her style of leadership you do not like, that is a valid topic of conversation.

What you did is to personally smear someone in the movement about something that has nothing to do with the movement. Who cares why she relinquished? Who cares how she feels about it or how she is supposed to feel about it? The only question is how this all helps open records. I do not know why this post would even help you.

It is generally not acceptable to complain how someone betrayed confidences by turning around and betraying theirs.

People who were anti-adoption have always been part of the open records movement but they usually understand that they are most useful to the movement when they keep that separate from open records activism.

No one is forcing you to follow Joyce, but there are better ways to resolve your personal conflict with Joyce than this and certainly better ways of discussing our differences with tactics and strategy.

Joan Mary Wheeler

Joyce B. humiliated me in 2007. She knew that I was suffering from physical illnesses, that my mother was dying, and she knew private things about me. She used my weaknesses against me. I kept quiet for years. Then, last year, Jason Darnieder posted a comment about Joyce attacking him. So I commented on his post. And that is how NY New York State Adoptee Equality began. We were all ousted by Joyce. I did not want to go public last year with all the crap Joyce dished out at me. But now? Hell no! This dictator must Go!

Melinda A. W.

Joan, Stop slandering Joyce..This is so uncool of you..slandering her…I have lost respect for you for posting this on FB..shame on you

Melinda A. W.

 grow up Joan and the rest of you….from a reuntied adoptee who thinks what you are doing is just pathetic.

Joan Mary Wheeler to Melinda A. W. – it is not slander when I am telling the truth.

(Ruth’s note – just like when she wrote her now-dead book slandering me – she said it was the truth, but then I had the police and court documents that proved she was not telling the truth, sent those documents to the publishers, and the publishers killed the book).

Joyce’s ability to lead has been undermined by her personal perception of her own adoption involvement and by how she sees other people. I once thought of her as a leader, but as i got to know her, it became evident she could not lead.

Joan Mary Wheeler

Too bad Melinda A. W. Joyce slandered me for years.

(Ruth’s note – we have only Joan’s word that Joyce has slandered her for years. – see, she is doing to Joyce, EXACTLY what she does to me – “Ruth has been harassing me for YEARS!”)

She must GO. I have never NEVER made a fool of myself in front of legislators. Joyce has made a mockery of herself and of adoptees who have been working very hard for our rights. I myself have been in this since 1974. Joyce is not an adoptee and she needs to go. now.

Melinda A. W.

who are you to tell her to go Joan…seriously..no wonder the bill never passes…

Melinda A. W.

how many times have you been to lobby in Albany and for how many years…

Joan Mary Wheeler

I do not have money to travel. (Ruth’s note: now comes the ploy for sympathy for poor little Joan who has no money).

I write letters and artifices. And make phone calls. I traveled to Albany in 2005-2006 when I was very sick. Joyce tossed me out in 2007. So I’ve been writing articles that have been publi8shed in newspapers. I know what I am doing. (Ruth’s note – see – her sense of “self-importance.”)

Melinda A. W.

 Do you have tape to prove how Joyce made a mockery? I would love to see if for myself….this is your opinion…..why should I trust you..just because you are an adoptee does not give you the last word....Albany will never pass a clean bill…

(Ruth’s note – Melinda – you are my hero!”

Joan Mary Wheeler

Melinda… you were a friend form long ago. Difference of opinion I guess. I have keen insight into vital statistic laws and am doing my own research. (Ruth’s note – self-importance – she has keen insight. yeah, right.)

No one has all the answers. Joyce tossed me out because she didn’t like my activism. Neither do you. So leave.

Joan Mary Wheeler

Melinda, you are so negative. Disappear, You are no help at all.

(Ruth’s note – this is what happens when you disagree or confront Joan – you are told you are worthless and are dismissed).

Denise F. C.

 Joan started this thread without stating her objections in regards to open records. She lead with personal attacks which had nothing to do open records.

She would have done better to cut the personal objections and talk about her legislative concerns.

Joan Mary Wheeler

I’ve been stating my legislative concerns to Joyce when she asked me to join UI in 2005. She got mad and threw me out.

Stephanie M. S.

Is she a first mom?

Joan Mary Wheeler

Yes, Stephanie M. S. Joyce is a mother of adoption loss. She is NOT an adoptee. She does NOT understand the full ramifications of adoptees’ stolen and sealed OBCs NOR does she fully comprehend what the falsified birth certificate does to adoptees. I tried to explain it to her in 2005-2006 and she didn’t like what I said.

(Ruth’s note – Joan tried to ram down Joyce’s throat JOAN’S interpretation of things – and Joyce probably had a different point of view. And this is another example of turning things into a PERSONAL ATTACK – because Joyce had the basic human right to disagree with something Joan the Dictator and the Biggest Know-it-All about Adoption Around, – Joyce didn’t like it.)

Joan Mary Wheeler

Stephanie M. S. – UI has members, but since I was thrown out in 2006 or 2007 I don’t’ recall who is involved. I went to Albany several times and lobbied with UI in what I thought at the time was a an organized and professional effort. However, Joyce was ordering people around back then. When I told her what I wanted as an adopted person, she got mad and threw me out. No compromises on our birth certificates! Joyce sits of the fence. She negotiates with adoption agencies. And when I refused to go along with those negotiations, I was thrown out.YES she needs to voted out. Or thrown out.


In conclusion, we birth sisters know Joan for what she is. Some of the adoptees have figured it out on their own – yet others seem to think that because she is an adoptee, her word is golden. Joan says “my birth sisters are crazy and have issues.” And they take her word at face value. Others, with brains, like Melinda and Denise here, DEMAND proof of what Joan says. Again and again they asked her – and again and again – what does Joan do? Tell them to shut up, go away, she knows what she’s taking about, she’s the expert.

WHEN will they people start seriously looking at the fact that Joan needs to be silenced. But she herself comes right back and states…no you can’t tell me to keep quiet…

1. gertmcqueenJune 23, 2015

Yep, this shows Joan’s basic behavior and thinking at its best! Excellent presentation here Ruth!

I have been saying for years, that if someone is in the public eye, fighting for a cause, their personal background and behaviors must be brought forth. That’s called ‘transparency’. But when dealing with Joan one must realize that she bounces from one extreme position to the next without ever realizing that she is contradicting herself. As this post shows clearly, via Joan’s own words and her exchange with other adoptees, Joan is incapable of SEEING her own dysfunctional behavior and thinking.

Just because others do not agree with Joan’s positions doesn’t give Joan the right to slander or libel them. But then again, as I say, a person can’t reason with Joan.

In response to a comment that Joan is ‘slandering’ another adoptee…
Joan says ‘– it is not slander when I am telling the truth.’

See what I mean! Just because Joan BELIEVES something is the truth does NOT make it so. Joan apparently has no conception of what slander/libel is all about, because Joan’s inner self is the only truth she knows.

And then when she is taken to ‘task’ she gets all high and mighty and indignant…

Joan says ‘you do not tell me what to do! I do what is right for me!

Can you see her face getting red and her fists at her side, stomping her feet?

Joan obviously AGREES with me, on transparency’ for here she says…

‘I have been working for adoptees’ civil rights since 1974. I do not support Joyce B. and am taking the opportunity to go public with her character because she must take her personal jealousies and insecurities and step down.’

But then on the other hand Joan would NOT agree with me when it is her character and behavior that is being made public. She’s such a fool!

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…




another one of Joan Wheeler’s puppets is outed as an asshole – one Heather Cohen June 17, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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 On June 14, 2015, I wrote the blogpost  “Joan Wheeler proves that she simply can NOT stop lying about her sisters and tries to manipulate another person to make trouble for me.“  because I found  a comment by one Heather Cohen to Joan Wheeler on Joan’s facebook page, regarding Rachel Dolezal, the white lady who was passing herself as a black lady. At first, I didn’t have a problem with Miss Cohen’s comment, and my initial blogpost was to point out that even when asked a civilized question, Joan Wheeler simply can NOT stop trashing her birth sisters with lies and trying to instigate a person who doesn’t like me (Laura Heath) into joining her in trashing me.

Well, later on, I was re-reading Heather’s comment and I saw this phrase “your kept sisters and their issues? ” – ‘kept’ sisters, meaning, Joan’s birth sisters who were ‘kept’ by their father and not relinquished to adoption like Joan was.

Well, I am one of Joan’s birth (kept) sisters, and I want to know – how does Heather Cohen ‘know’ that I have issues? And what issues are those? – HEATHER COHEN IS A COMPLETE STRANGER TO ME – so how does she know I have ‘issues?’ – Answer – because she has been listening to Joan’s slanderous gossip and lies about me.

I have been saying for years that Joan is a pathological LIAR. She has put forth all sorts of accusations about me and my sisters all over the internet, yet offers no clear PROOF of it. I, on the other hand, have offered police and court documents that prove JOAN MARY WHEELER is the liar – and even handwritten letters and envelopes by Joan that also prove she is a liar.

Joan loves to smear me – anywhere and anytime she can. Hell, she even contacts my job now and then with lies to get me fired. She lies to any person she gets hold of and those weak-minded fools believe her and refuse to even LOOK at the proof – proof that is all over the pages of this blog.

The last fool Joan wrapped around her little finger was one Brian T. Maloney who made it his mission to champion Joan’s cause – to bring me and my sisters down. He failed miserably – because he threatened me over the internet with emotional blackmail – he threatened to expose my “dark dirty secret.” (still have no idea what he was talking about). This Brian fool NEVER met me, and is a stranger to me. So I answered him via the internet – that if he has something to expose about me – that he should go right ahead. But he had better be prepared to explain to the Buffalo Police and the Erie County District Attorney how he knows secrets about a woman he never met, and why is he threatening her on the internet. That was the end of that. He also appeared in court early 2013 when I had pressed harassment charges on Joan – in one of our initial appearances. But after I threatened him with going to the police, he did not show up in court again. And indeed, has gone the way of most people that Joan gets hold up – after she manipulates, charms, uses them, and when they are no longer any use to her – she drops like a hot potato.

So, I read Heather Cohen’s comment and decide to take her full on – I went to her facebook page. I sent her a friend request. And I left her the following private message:

6/15, 1:57pm

“Miss Cohen – if you wish to know about me and my “issues” please ask me directly – why don’t you try to get to know the real me – instead of relying on third-party gossip.

Because ‘inquiring minds’ who want to know about people they don’t know personally should go to the source. To get accurate information. So – I am here for you – what would you like to know?”

Several hours later, I found that Heather blocked me. She has the right. But why? I thought she wanted to know about me. OH, I see, she only wanted to GOSSIP about me with Joan. She is NOT interested in the truth about people. She is just another little bitch. And I made the following post on my facebook page:

so – Joan Wheeler’s little friend Heather Cohen – the one who is so interested in me denied my friend request and blocked me. Gee, what did I do wrong? I used mouthwash today. I’m clean. All I did was extend a friendly gesture to someone who was wanting information about me – I messaged her and told her that if she wanted to know about me, to ask me directly and not rely on Joan Wheeler’s gossip about me. Guess Heather is NOT interested the truth about someone and wants only garbage gossip about me. Well, I suppose that leaves me and you knowing what kind of person Heather Cohen is – an asshole.

and we see again, as we have seen time and time again, concerning Joan Mary Wheeler’s buddies – they are all sick in the head – what kind of person expresses interest in a person they have never met (me) and their ‘issues’ – yet when given the opportunity to speak directly to me – slinks off with her tail between her legs — this is the case of an internet stalker – putting their nose into MY business and MY life – Heather Cohen – stay the fuck away from me or I will see you in court for stalking, harassment, slander and libel.

 Heather Cohen’s original questions.

After discovering this controversy, I read the article, finding that there is an adoption link. This woman had a Haitian and African American siblings who were adopted. She is 100% white. What lessons did she learn from her parents who adopted her siblings. If they were “white” and she was “black” and the adoption insanity and identity problems are a big mess. Joan Mary Wheeler What do you think of this? Especially with regards to your kept sisters and their issues? Inquiring minds want to know.

Lesson for Heather Cohen to learn, because she is just a jackass as bad as Joan is. Hey – I did give her a chance before I passed judgment on her!

jackass gossip


Joan Wheeler proves that she simply can NOT stop lying about her sisters and tries to manipulate another person to make trouble for me. June 14, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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 okay, this fucking nutball Joan Wheeler needs to have her mouth sewed shut! – on her facebook page, Saturday, June 13, 2015, somebody asked Joan Wheeler a question about the situation of that Rachel Dolezal, the white lady who is passing herself off as a black lady. It seem she had three adoptive siblings of a different race. The question asked by Heather C. was “After discovering this controversy, I read the article, finding that there is an adoption link. This woman had a Haitian and African American siblings who were adopted. She is 100% white. What lessons did she learn from her parents who adopted her siblings. If they were “white” and she was “black” and the adoption insanity and identity problems are a big mess. Joan Mary Wheeler What do you think of this? Especially with regards to your kept sisters and their issues? Inquiring minds want to know.”

see end of post for update info

Heather referred to “kept sisters” as the fact that I, and my other two sisters were “kept” by our father. I have absolutely NO problem with that question – but I have serious problems with the way Joan answers and drags me and my sisters through the mud AGAIN and then enlists a former co-worker of mine, who turned out to be a bitch, despite me being very nice to her – but more on that later on – first give a look-see on how Joan talks trash about me again – AND she lumps all three of us sisters into one AGAIN. – When she referenced our stepmother, who liked horror movies. – First – the time frame was when I was 8 years old, and I lived with my father and his second wife, for a period OF ONE YEAR. Meanwhile, my sisters were NOT RAISED by this stepmother – they were in a foster home and neither one of them are particular fans of horror movies.

The issue of horror movies comes up because in her now dead (because it was proven to be libelous) book, Joan trashes me and mocks my miscarriage by saying that I would not have been a good mother because I spent my money collecting horror movies. So let’s read Joan’s latest lies about me and my sisters. I will take her shit, parapragh by paragraph and REFUTE HER CRAP ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS. By the way, yes, I still collect horror movies. SO FUCKING WHAT? I have worked at my job for going on 44 years. I’ve been working since I was 18. I own my home and van. WHAT I SPEND MY MONEY ON IS NONE OF JOAN WHEELER’S OR ANYBODY ELSE’S BUSINESS. I don’t steal to buy a DVD of a horror movie or any other movie. I work for it. So, here’s the thing – Joan has always been JEALOUS and PISSED OFF because SHE was adopted and WE were not. – And just because I had fun with my stepmother and Joan did not have fun with her adoptive mother, Joan writes all this crap about me. And by the way, because Miss SmartyPants Joan thinks she knows all about me – and thinks that all I watch is horror movies – just last month, I bought an 18 movie set of SHIRLEY TEMPLE movies.  So Joan – shut up.  Readers – see blog post:  Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013

 Joan Mary Wheeler “Wow, thank you for letting me know the rest of this story.

About my sisters who were kept by our father after he relinquished me… I think they identified with their step Mom who raised them watching horror movies. My sisters felt from the very beginning of our reunion in 1974 that I had the better life. They see me as “other” and not one of them. I am one of them as we have the same parents, but our behavior is totally different. I do believe my sisters have been warped by their experiences of knowing their sister disappeared shortly after she was born and they spent their childhood trying to find her (me). That made them crazy. “

Crazy? well really – Joan is the one who has gone on record saying she is mentally ill and has been going to therapists for 30 years. – And no, we did not spend our childhood trying to find her. We were fucking kids ya know. Yeah, we remembered we had sister out there but knew nothing else. And Joan does say soomething truthful in that paragraph – ” our behavior is totally different. ” – yes, that’s right – Me, Gert and Kathy have had stable relationships with our fellas, held down good jobs, never broke the law, don’t do drugs, drink only socially, don’t lie or steal from family members, don’t call other people’s jobs with lies in order to get them fired, don’t file false police reports on people, don’t send letters to family members saying their husbands got the next door neighbor pregnant, don’t send letters to family member’s mother-in-law in order to break up a marriage. – yep – this is what Joan has done to me and my sisters. Joan on the other hand, worked only a few temporary part time jobs, relying on handouts from her adoptive mother and money stolen from me, and welfare fraud in 1985.

– okay let’s see what other shit Joan has to say:

 “Meanwhile, as for me, I was raised an only child and have no reference point of siblings, so they reminded me constantly after our reunion that I am THE BABY of the family, and as such, I know nothing. “

What’s that got to do with anything?

“They forgot that I am not only their baby sister (a role I found out about when I was 18) but I IDENTIFY AS AN ONLY CHILD because that is how I was raised.

For me, I don’t see this as a problem: I am an independent thinker and do not need to run my decisions by the approval of my other siblings. They think that, because they were raised with a pecking order, that I must conform to their wishes of trying to mold me to fit what they want me to do and be. “

No, all we asked is that she stop stealing from us – when Joan and her deadbeat husband stole hundreds of $$$ from me in 1989 – I told her to get the fuck out of my life! And she has spent all this time since January 1990 in harassing me with revenge tactics just because I told her to get lost – FOR STEALING FROM ME. – see blog post:  repost: the story of Joan Wheeler’s theft of money from me February 27, 2010

“Now, yes, I fully acknowledge I am the youngest of five siblings, but I believe my autonomy is important to my own identity, with or without their approval.

Right Joan – but YOU can pass judgment on ME for liking horror movies! You know, Joan, I, Ruth Sippel Pace have the autonomy to like and collect whatever the fuck I want – and that includes horror movies. don’t like it Joan? – fuck off.

I also fully acknowledge that my mindset (psychology) is that of an introverted only child. Part of that is upbringing, part of that is nature. I have my father’s personality – introverted. My son does, too. My daughter is extroverted like her father. “

We don’t give a shit about her autonomy – EXCEPT WHEN SHE LIES ABOUT US.

“As for this Rachel Dolezal, I think she was influenced by having black adopted siblings. They were there and she took on their identity.

Something to think about — adopted parents ought to think carefully about mixing up races and cultures. If they don’t want one of their own biological kids to take after their adopted black kids’ culture and appearance, then they shouldn’t adopt children of a different race. Also, adoptive parents shouldn’t expect their black adoptee to act white to meet their expectations.

But it happens all the time that black adoptees might be forced to act more white to avoid as much racial problems as they can, and they, too, might identify as white because they are being raised in a white family.”

Joan then received this comment from Mary G. – ” I wondered about the influence her siblings had on her. Good explanation Joan.” — To which Joan, ever the fucking trouble maker baits my former co-worker Laura Heath with this, to drag Laura into the “roast Ruth fest.”

Joan Mary Wheeler Yes, Mary G., they think they own me! They do not! And, of course, Laura Heath can probably see what I mean in real life. Sigh.”

No, Joan, we KNOW we don’t own you – we just want you to shut your fucking trashy lies about us.

As to Laura – she and her husband Tom Heath got caught STALKING me – — I was facebook friends with Laura while we were working together in 2009. Early 2010, Laura transfered to another nursing unit. One day on facebook, I was venting about a hard night I had at work, saying simply, “glad that night is over.” – to which Laura replied “it wasn’t that hard.” — I felt like, “excuse me – my back and my feet hurt, I have every right to say something without my “so-called” freinds putting me down. Now, Laura in the past, had written a rotten thing on her facebook – can said she was ‘TIRED OF WORKING WITH LAZY ASS BITCHES.” – she was not referring to me – cos she was working on another floor, but I know who she was talking about – and those nurses are among the best nurses in that hospital. Anyway, I removed Laura from my facebook, because frankly, she and I were not really ‘friends’ and I have the right to remove anybody I want from my facebook. Laura’s response? She went and found Joan Wheeler – acting like a little 10 year old “oh You took me off your facebook. Well, I’ll go find your worst enemy and we can sit and gossip about you.”

Then in 2013, I found Laura’s husband Thomas D. Heath STALKING my facebook page! – I never met Laura’s husband. Who the f does this man think he is, that 3 years after his wife has a falling out with a former co-worker, that he is going to go stalk that person? – I outed Laura and Tom in the following blog posts:

Joan Wheeler has a couple of new puppets to spy on me – Thomas Heath and Laura Stickney-Heath – roflmao! July 17, 2013

I am outing Thomas D. Heath and Laura J. Stickney Heath as stalkers and troublemakers. August 5, 2013

karma is a bitch – lesson for Joan Wheeler’s latest puppets – Laura Stickney-Heath and Thomas D. Heath – October 7, 2013

The enemy of my enemy is my friend Joan Wheeler and Laura – snakes. April 4, 2014

So what can we deduce from all this? – That Joan may be a grown woman, but is still acting like a fucking 10 year old, with lies, thefts, innuendos, and trying to drag LAURA into a fight. I don’t give a shit about Laura – she is nothing to me. Never was, never will be. – But this just shows what Joan does best – manipulates people into doing her dirty work.

joan bait 01

joan bait 02

fuck-off-kitty grow up Joan.

.1. PaulaJune 14, 2015

Only a very unstable person would continuously stir the pot like she stirs the pot! And the person who asked the question in the first place? Why do people think she’s some authority on all things adoption? She clearly didn’t answer with any logic, clarity or insight. No facts. No deep thinking or connections. Just an opportunity to crap on you and your sisters, again, thanks to the person who asked her the question in the first place. Ask an unstable person a ridiculous question; expect an unstable and ridiculous answer. No one takes this woman seriously, Ruth. It’s almost as if the person asking the question just wanted to see how foolish JW would make herself look THIS time. And JW took the bait.

RuthJune 14, 2015

you are absolutely correct Paula. For some reason, Joan wants to destroy me – always has. And she says that me and my sisters are crazy? lol – I think we can all see WHO the crazy person really is.

gertmcqueenJune 14, 2015 [Edit]

apparently Joan M Wheeler NEEDS ATTENTION. What’s the matter Joan, are you lonely, got no one there to hear your rants?

Since when is Joan an authority on MY LIFE? She ain’t! She lives in her own diseased mind filled with her assumptions.

Joan…we siblings lived with our first step-mother, from June 1956 to about Sept 1957, when I and the rest of YOUR siblings went to orphan and foster homes. Gee Joan YOU MISSED OUT on all that happiness, because you were adopted out!

Joan you make up shit! You haven’t a clue of what is true.
You can’t handle the truth…that that first step-mother REFUSED to take you, the infant! It was because of HER that you were placed into adoption! All your ‘tales’ of how your father was forced into giving you up are false!

And you are NOT the center of our universe any longer…once we found you and dealt with YOUR behavior all we wanted was for you to be GONE…so go girl…BE GONE!

RuthJune 14, 2015


3. RuthJune 14, 2015

Joan’s motive in constantly putting me down for MY own life and financial decisions – JEALOUSY, PURE JEALOUSY! She looks at me, even though I have my own day-to-day struggles, and sees that I have direction and meaning in my life. HER own life has no meaning or direction.

4. RuthJune 15, 2015

and by the way Joanie, since you obviously are lacking for attention and wanted mine (cos now you got it) – not only do I like horror movies – I am now a professional paranormal investigator. – yep – I’m a ghost hunter. So now I suppose you will have something to say about that and pass judgment on me for that. – fuck off – and get your own life. If your current life as a bar-hopping groupie is boring, and you need to get some more excitement – well, then grow the fuck up.

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.


Chapter 15, of Joan Wheeler’s, now dead book, full of personal psychodrama and lies; part 1 June 13, 2015

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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always and forever Joan Wheeler’s behavior is known because she herself writes about it, while she lies about others

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

It is always a good practice to revisit and learn more about Joan’s behavior. You never know when you’ll need to be prepared! And that garbage book is a wonderful source to know all about Joan; it’s her own words!

As time passes, new developments and insights can highlight things that have been obscured by much double-talk that Joan is good at. As well as Joan’s many attempts to shut the birth sisters down, by sending angry militant adoptees, with crude vile hateful messages, or her boy-friend, Brian Maloney who created a blog dedicated to insulting, browbeating and other ‘manly’ traits of bullying women! He is an example of ‘violence against women’! Makes you wonder though, who is the dominant one in that relationship, Joan or Brian? No matter.

My blog posts of 2010 were written, as I read the book, and long before we finally were able to get the…

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As Joan M Wheeler continues her quest, to ‘eliminate’ adoption from the planet, she believes herself to possess great wisdom and fame; NOT!! June 10, 2015

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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narcissistic sociopathic behavior

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

As Joan M Wheeler continues her quest, to ‘eliminate’ adoption from the planet, she believes herself to possess great wisdom and fame; NOT!!

Well…she’s not the only one that believes in their own self-importance while not having a clue as to how the rest of the world hears and sees them.

When Joan rants and raves, over adoption, she belittles, mocks, intimidates, insults and engages in name calling the very people/person she is addressing. Joan’s presentation of her ‘agenda’ is lost when she engages in the above ‘skills’.  It truly is amazing how many people in the world have no idea of how they ‘inter-act’ with others and particularly with those that have an opposing opinion. Joan’s methods are infused with her hate and anger, no wonder people TURN HER OFF.

Quoting from the following article, about a TV news reporter, Joan displays the same types of ‘depths of…

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