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wow A truly anal and argumentative person reviews Joan Wheeler’s trash book on amazon and can’t stand to have opposition viewpoints May 8, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality, Uncategorized.
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Update: Monday, May 16, 2016 on amazon this morning, I see that Mark had hastily reviewed 7 books. lol. – Reviewing a bunch of stuff a week after you’ve said you’ve reviewed things doesn’t show intelligence Mark, it shows someone who was caught in the act and now desperately trying to cover up his lies. — yes readers, because I had pointed out in this post that Mark LIED in his answer to me and Gert (about never having been “attacked’ for his reviews) – I had checked his reviews – he had only reviewed ONE – Joan’s book, then hastily added a second review of another book a couple of hours later – and then yesterday, he went and added 7 more reviews of products. This really shows that critic’s emotional intelligence is at “play” again. Grow up Mark – grown men don’t play at such things. And don’t forget Mark – dates and times of reviews show up on amazon. Your review of the book on John Lennon showed you wrote that review AFTER you said you had other reviews – but you didn’t – at the time you whined about “being attacked about your reviewS” – you only had one review up. I’m not stupid Mark. Not at all.

update – Sunday, May 15, 7pm – interesting – this old post was looked at in the last couple of hours. Speaking of reviews on amazon dot com by personal friends of Joan Wheeler:
My letter (Jan 18, 2011) to Nicole S. Urdang, therapist, who thought the trash book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler was a good book, but then pulled her review of it off amazon dot com. May 15, 2011

update: Sunday May 15, 11:30 am. (I also added a nice meme further down).
On Sunday, May 15, approximately 2am, Mark Kneitinger left ‘another’ comment on the amazon discussion thread, answering where I ‘laughed’ at him (I had commented LOL) and this great big grown up man says: “This last comment shows this critic’s emotional intelligence is at play again. Actually the most thought out statement they have made thus far!” —
So as usual, we see another of Joan’s puppets, talking nonsense and even contradicting themselves!

Didn’t Mark himself say in comment #13 (on May 9, 2016) “ok I’m done with responses, it’s not productive.”? Then he comes right back and leaves an insult.  Actually Mark, your last comment shows YOUR emotional intelligence – you are nothing but a bully and a browbeater. And as I said below, “Because sometimes some people are so ridiculous that all you can do IS laugh at them.” – well, I’m laughing again. See, I’m not mad, I’m laughing at this most ridiculous ‘grown’ man. So yeah, Mark, more responses WERE productive – your last response (even though you said you weren’t going to respond), shows me that I pegged you right – an anal-retentive bully – AND gave me a chuckle. heh, heh.

And by the way Mark, I put your last name in because it is publicly shown on amazon. You used your full name to insult me. And please grow up and accept the fact that there will be people in life that have an opposing viewpoint to your own. My viewpoint is that if Joan Mary Wheeler can write a book that has details of MY family, ME, and MY LIFE – and puts it all on display on public internet, then I have reserve the right to say in rebuttal – what I want about MY LIFE. Don’t like it Mark? Too bad. Grow up. I gave a respectful opposing viewpoint, to your review on amazon, but you couldn’t accept it. Then you accused me and Gert of “attacking” you, and then lied about it (“I’ve never been attacked on a review I’d written before.”) but you had not written a review – you hastily ‘reviewed’ the book on John Lennon to cover your tracks. So who is the child here Mark? You acted like the fool and got called out on it. Now be a man and suck it up. 

So the other day, Sunday, May 8, 2016, a new review of Joan’s revision of her “truthful” book Forbidden Family appears on amazon – where Joan is peddling her lies. Gert McQueen and I put forth rebuttals and the new reviewer, a man named Mark K. decided that he didn’t like an opposing viewpoint.

I answered him, and so did Gert, and then he answered and it resulted in a most ridiculous display of petulance that I have ever seen from a supposedly grown man! — The entire exchange is below – Mr. K.’s review followed by comments numbered 1 to 15. Taken as a whole, in his comments his stand is that Joan’s faulty recollection/lying of MY life is to be considered canon. Excuse me? Since when does a strange man think it’s fine for someone to put out a lie about Ruth Pace and that lie is to be canon and true about me?

Also, it’s very interesting, that I caught him in a lie – in comment #3 – he says “This is the first time I have written a review that resulted in an attack!” – In comment #7, he tells Gert that he wrote a review of John Lennon’s work, and would she be more kind to him in her comments to that review.

Let’s talk about Mark’s reviews. On amazon, I clicked on his amazon profile – and he had only written TWO reviews for products on amazon. Joan’s book, and the book on John Lennon. Both reviews written and published on the same date, BUT the review for the John Lennon book was written AFTER he wrote the review for Joan’s book. The screenshot below this paragraph shows both his reviews, listed “newest entry first.” – That means his review for Joan’s book was first. But he said he had never been attacked for any reviews that he had written before!!! Well he hadn’t written any reviews before – at least not on amazon. AND – interesting point – he is NOT a verified amazon purchaser of either books. Which means he did NOT buy them from amazon. How do I know this? Amazon has a button you push to select all purchasers of an item, or amazon purchasers. Why is this relevant to this blog post? Mark didn’t buy Joan’s book from amazon, therefore, he bought it from (or was given it) by Joan herself. – AND he didn’t buy the John Lennon book from amazon either! He merely put that review up because he had that book in the past, and he wanted to make himself look like he’s done reviews on amazon. – But he forgot or didn’t know how amazon and/or the internet works.

marks 2 reviews

In comment 13, he says a “counselor” recommended Joan’s book to him. Baloney! Because Mark says his own adopted child was seeking answers? When Joan’s book is filled with alcoholism, drug abuse, court cases between Joan and me, physcial abuse from Joan’s mother, screaming matches between Joan’s mother and Joan, fights, Joan describing near knock-down drag-out fights between me and her, her own self being battered by two boyfriends, a description of her being on a Greyhound bus in the late 70’s where she’s in pain and then says to the bus driver, “get me to a hospital, I’m peeing blood.” — A disgusting detailed description of a dead body – her own mother “the bandages that held everything that was rotted split open and the cancer dripped out of her vagina.” and an admission of Joan to driving while drunk. Screaming matches in bars, sceaming matches with her mother where her mother rips the phone out of the socket.  

Somehow, I don’t think ANY counselor would recommend this book to be used for a child seeking answers about his adoption and how to cope with his adoption. Give me a break Mark!

My impression of Mark K. is – he is a bully, a browbeater. TWICE he threatened me and Gert with reporting us to amazon so that we would shut up. He wanted us to behave in a certain way. And he’s supposed to have a college degree in psychology? Where did he get his degree? From Romper Room?
Here’s the whole exchange – I included even my last comment to the fool, but a half-hour after I posted it, I deleted it, and replaced it with one final comment to the fool: LOL (laugh out loud)! Amazon went and deleted from their server my last mocking comment to the fool, but they did leave my laughing at him comment there. Because sometimes some people are so ridiculous that all you can do IS laugh at them.

Forbidden Family, a must read for the socially conscious and adoptees seeking truth!

 By Mark K. on May 8, 2016 

I finished Forbidden Family and was breathless. What a tough story to tell and yet done so well. I see this is the author’s first book (revised) and I was swayed by her openness to every detail, good and bad. This is the real deal, no stone goes unturned! This is a life story and a good one for adoptees to read. You pick up a book like this and think it’s a happy ending but Ms. Wheeler is correct in saying that in every aspect she was duped and I would say by the very foundations we hold sacred; the law, religion and family. I came upon this book as my son was adopted and although he never chose to see his biological father he did seek to find his siblings and for him short lived. In the end this is an autobiographical journey into the dangers of closed adoptions. The laws differ by state and country and in my opinion are wrong especially for medical and genetic data. We see the 50’s were a different time and one could walk away from a child with the “support” of others. We see the forbidden truth told to an adolescent girl and an epic journey of self discovery begins but laced with the sad reality that Ms. Wheeler journey is far from over. I think this book is canon in adoptee rights and legal forums and would recommend this book for social workers, the socially conscious and most importantly those “duped” by the system. I would like to read more from this author concerning her own or the adoptees legal fight to obtain their true identity. Again, well written and thought provoking! 


1. gert mcqueen says:

Mark K. believes this book is a must read for the socially conscious and adoptees seeking truth? Really?? He also believes that this book is canon in adoptee rights and legal forums and would recommend this book for social workers?? Really??  

There’s nothing in this book that could help any legal battle for adoptees’ rights and birth records nor help social workers; the author deleted 4 chapters that had ANY real information on those points. Nothing in this book will sway people away from adoption. The truth, as presented, is the author’s viewpoint slanted for her own propaganda that she was DUPED. The only people that were duped are members of two families and we can all figure out those reasons! 

This revision is a self-published one because no other publisher will touch it, for it is NOT non-fiction. It is about real people and their lives, told by the author, who presents A FICTIONAL adaption! What this reviewer, Mark, thinks is the author’s openness to every detail good and bad, is actually totally FICTIONAL. That is why the story is TOUGH, because the author has written a FICTIONAL story, using all creative writing forms and her imagination about what she thinks happened or what she wants to happen, to tell HER story. The real people, whose family names are used so wantonly in this book, are the real victim here. If you want truth, don’t be DUPED with this book!  

2. Ruth Pace says:

The reason this is a “revised” book and self-published on amazon, is because when the first edition of Forbidden Family came out, there were blatant lies in it. The author signed a contract with Trafford Publications stating that her “non-fiction” book was truthful and she held the copyright to the work and all its contents. On the back cover was a family photograph taken at least a year before the author was born. (actual date is not known, the author’s mother did appear to have a “full-size” belly, but the size of the child held in the author’s father’s arms appears to only have been 2 years of age. That child had turned 3 the summer of 1955, the year the author surmises the picture had been taken. There is no way the author has copyrights off a picture that was taken before she was born (and she admits it inside the book).

The other thing the author violated in the contract? – That her ‘non-fiction” book is truthful! I found many lies in it – particulary in regards to ME and MY LIFE. I still had actual police and court documents regarding 3 separate court cases of harassments that the author had performed against me – which proved the LIES contained in Forbidden Family. These documents were sent to Trafford Publications and their legal department determined that the author had indeed violated the contract that she signed. In May 2011, Trafford pulled the book from publication.

The author then proceeded to to “revise” a book that she herself had touted on the internet as the TRUTH. I have asked time and again, how can the TRUTH BE REVISED? It cannot. This new “revision” is not revised at all, except to change the wordings of certain things, adding new lies, and taking out 4 chapters – chapters that deal with adoption reform!

I realize that this reviewer does not have the 2009 edition of this ‘book’ to compare. But my blog contains many passages of the 2009 edition along with scanned copies of my documents. My blog Refuting a Book of Lies, Forbidden Family is the real ‘go-to’ source of finding the out how and what the author was duped about.  

3. Mark K. says:

This is the first time I have written a review that resulted in an attack! Criticism is open ended and I respect that but I do not respect attack. Revisions are done for reasons and now that you stated those facts I can respect your views but it doesn’t change the story or what I got out of it which is insight. I read it as an autobiographical account of an adoptee and the struggles it involves as I needed to view things as my child sees it. I read the book for input and understanding, I think in this country censorshop is not dead! It’s a tough story and I understand that all families involved will not see things in the same light. The first argument was valid the other was abusive and I will report that. The author wrote a book and all biographers are not always seen in a good light. It doesn’t change the authors story as it’s ger recollection from interviewing the original sources, It’s her struggle too isn’t it? I wil ldebate any rational argument but not attacks. My comment stands, for people looking for a real life expreience of an adoptee who searched for her true self this is a great book. And yes anything that adds to tell an adoptee story of struggle should be considered canon especially after the last comments. I think any people that are seeking their biological family should read this book because it’s a struggle and know doubt I should read the 1st edition.  

4. Ruth Pace says:

My comment was not an attack on you Mr. K. – As to your assumption that the author has the right to write her biography as she fits, well, I agree to that – EXCEPT when SLANDER and LIBEL are committed. Did you not see where I said ACTUAL POLICE AND COURT DOCUMENTS were used to refute ACTUAL LIES about me in the book?

When actual police and court documents refute LIES – than it is quite a different thing than other family members “will not see things in the same light.” And as to ‘recollections’ – sorry, again, the author’s ‘recollections’ are out and out lies – when she says her children were put on a witness stand to testify against me in my presence – that never happened. Absolutely never happened. The book states a “three month court battle,” – words slanted that makes the reader think a long drawn-out court battle with her children on the stand! Nope. We appeared on March 17, 1995 for the author’s arraignment. For a total of about 10 minutes in front of the judge. Case was adjourned to the following month. Where time restraints made the judge have to adjourn the case to the next month. That took about 5 minutes. When we reconvened the following month (May 1995), the judge didn’t want to be bothered with ‘battling sisters’ and dismissed my harassment charge saying “sisters should get along.” – So were we in court for 3 months? nope. There were three APPEARANCES – one in March, one in April and one in May – no 3 month court battle. If the author says she remembers a three month long court battle – I have to wonder what is going on in her brain.

So yes, Mr. K. ‘families involved will not see things in the same light,” however, when actual police and court documents bear out the facts, a family member when reminded of the documents (as I did via my blog and other internet sources) – somebody’s memory needs to be improved.

And sadly, people like yourself, will hear only one side, and never do the research, altho the proof is out there.

And what do you mean the author’s recollection is from interviewing the original sources? Tell me, Mr. K., do you know MY family, do you know the details of MY childhood? Where are you getting your information? Certainly not from ME, the original source – because I have never met you, therefore, what ever you think you know about MY life, you didn’t get it from the original source. Please do so, before you believe something about me. So you are saying that what the author writes about me should be considered canon – just because you are a personal friend of hers? Tell me, Mr. K. – what you know about me.  

5. gert mcqueen says:

Mr K., sorry that you view counter arguments as an attack, personally I don’t see it! Censorship is not an issue here either! Yes, revisions are done for many reasons, but a TRUTH certainly does not need revisions! I do have to differ with you on the point about any author’s recollection versus the accurate facts.  

Case in point, sir, is the author’s `recollection’ of someone else’s minor children and her retelling the story to FIT the author’s needs; that adoption is wrong because of birth certificates etc, blah blah blah. If you have read the book you no doubt know the author’s presentation of what `happened’ when her sister was `adopting’ her own flesh and blood child with second husband! Well everything that is in this book about that `episode’ and more about those children is false! There are documents to prove that the author VIOLATED someone else’s parental rights BECAUSE they choose to ADOPT and the author WARNED the parent that adoption was wrong! No sir, you really do need, for the sake of censorship and insights, to read other source materials about this book and the author!  

As far as the first edition is concerned, it is no longer being printed, you must get a copy from the author if she still even recognizes that IT existed or I could loan you my copy!  

6. Mark K. says:

No Ms. Pace you were not the one who attacked. Unlike some poeple I don’t use names in vain. You made a valid and rational argument and I see that this account was not good for you emotionally. Thanks for capitalizing I didn’t have to put on my glasses. I read the 2nd addition which should be void of your original complaints, correct? If the judge dismissed the allegations that would be indicative they held no weight one would think. A biographer interviews sources and I assume as sisters you have talked about your livesm if not then tell me you have never spoked with Ms. Wheeler about your life and I will recant my post. I will read your book if you publish one so I can get your perspective too. I read the book because I adopted and at one point wanted to seek out his birth relatives. There are deep wounds I get that, I read that and now I am experiencing it. I am sorry for your struggles but I did read the book was that okay?  

7. Mark K. says:

Thank you Ms. McQueen for a nicely worded rebuttal and I will throw out your first rant. It is like I have written the book! My comments were based on reading a deep thought provoking book, her story not yours. There are two sides to the story as you rebut but to be fair to the author she has an opinion as well. Remember I chose to read her book not yours. Perhaps you should write a book on the realities of biological look-ups. It’s easy being an arm chair quarterback as in your case but I think you would reach more forums than Amazon and maybe you will sleep better knowing your side is being told and if you write it I promise to read it. I have written a review of a book on John Lennon please be kinder to that review as he is a personal hero.  

8. gert mcqueen says:

Mark…I don’t know why you are being so…unreasonable… with a difference of opinion or actually being faced with certain facts that the author has neglected to inform her readers of, but rest assured that there is more to the story than what the author presents. Don’t be so naive to think that the author would actually ‘talk’ with the very people she maligned in this book. I have had 5 contacts with her in 30 years and still have had lies written about those 5 contacts. I have written more than `one’ book on this topic/book, a reasonable google search will provide you will enough information, I’m an open book, as they say. Do look me up!  

9. Mark K. says:

Gert I will do my research and read your press, I stand behind what I say. I have to ask though if I had written I hated the book would it have generated such ire? To be completely fair, your sister seems to be the bigger person as she has not written to either of us to rebut or critique this review. All of the argument clinics take away from the fact that i read a book on a subject I needed to learn something about (adoptees seeking their bio families) and for that I got more than the price of admission especially now! It is a well written book would you at least ackolwedge that or is that asking for you to come to the dark side? I understand the pain but if you let it go wouldn’t be easier living your life than living for these reviews.  

10. gert mcqueen says:

Mark…I still do not understand why you feel that my opinion, which is contrary to your own, is an attack or wrong to be voiced! If you hated the book I would point out even more reasons for not liking the book, for there are hundreds of reasons. The author will never speak to those whom she has maligned in the book…we have been there, done that, and we have the back-stabs to prove it (btw so do my innocent children)! No I’m sorry Mark, you don’t understand the pain! WE found her, we loved her, we wanted her and all everyone got was our characters assassinated. YOU want to learn about adoptees finding their birth families…well sometimes, you don’t know what you will find when you open that box. OUR family found out the hard way because we FOUND HER. Hope your finding is more pleasant and more productive. The author’s ONLY reason for writing the book is because she WANTS adoption ABOLISHED because HER life is a mess and she USES two families to prove her assessment that adoption made her as she is! Sorry I don’t buy that assessment and I hope you are smarter than that! Good night.  

11. Mark K. says:

When all is said and done the only person who didn’t have say which is unfair and one sided is the author herself. In the end I got my money’s worth and themn some. I am sorry your family is dysfunctional over the book I shouldn’t have to apologize but I will. Don’t you think Ms. Wheeler is the person who was wronged in all of this. That is the theme of the book and the reason I read it. Abandonment brings pain. I mentioned John lennon before like your sister he was raised by someone else and was told as an adolescent who his mother really was. It created some fantastic music with the angst but it made for one one tortured soul who throughout his career sought love and respect. Please stop with the posts, I’ve read the book and it was worth the price of admission. Move on and good luck with your journey and healing! In closing I hope your retorts would not sway someone from reading this book, censorship’s a bad thing. Your point is well taken, she revivsed the book it is sold on Amazon and I own it so stop.  

12. Ruth Pace says:

I have found that some people can’t take anybody disagreeing with them. They take an opposing viewpoint as a personal attack on them. I am reminded of a discussion just yesterday (Saturday, May 7, 2016) on facebook where someone was objecting to a political meme placed on a fan site of a well-known actor. I chimed in and said I thought the meme was funny, and she jumped on me and said it wasn’t funny and it was inappropriate to post. I said that in my opinion it was not inappropriate and the woman kept it up – until – and I was floored (and flattered) that the actor backed me up. lol. (Oh Captain, My Captain).

The fact that Ms. McQueen and I ‘have’ an opposing viewpoint of this book seems to rattle the author’s buddies. I stand by what I say, and back up Ms. McQueen’s statements. The book in question is NOT solely about the author’s life – she has included ME in the book and tells about MY marriages, MY job, MY LIFE. And I reserve the right and exercise my right to have the truth told about MY life. If someone has the right to write lies about me – then I have the right to tell the truth about myself. That is my civil right. And my civil rights are non-negotiable. End of discussion here. blogged it.

13 Mark K. says:

ok I’m done with responses, it’s not productive. You two definitely have an agenda and I want no part of it. I read a book wrote a review and want no part of a family civil war. Please be respectful of me and my post, I harbor no bad feelings for you or your sisters. Not that you need to know but if it helps your blog a counselor suggested the book when I asked about my child seeking answers. Please stop the spam. In writing one review I’ve been sent a Facebook request and rebuttals with no end in sight and it’s rather childish. I think the author is the only person showing any respect or she knows better than to post in this forum. Stop please or I will report you both to Amazon. Your points have been made I get it! You feel violated and you dislike your sister, just leave me out of it please and thank you.

14 Ruth Pace says:

oh knock off the self-righteousness. It’s not spam. You posted a review, an opposing viewpoint was presented and you started the petulant whining and personal attacks against Ms. McQueen and me.

1. gertmcqueenMay 10, 2016

Gert here… I concur with Ruth. NO social worker/counselor would recommend Joan’s book! Joan HAS a degree in social work, but by her own admission never had a job in the field, and can NOT hold a job and yet feels herself qualified to HELP people, so she HELPED this guy and he fell for her line of BS…poor sucker! He and others would be themselves a world of good by learning about NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITIES and how devastating they are to family and loved ones. If only, yes if only we of the birth family KNEW about this disorder when we first FOUND her we would have saved ourselves a lot of pain and dumped her long before we all did! Even our father DUMPED HER because of the shit she continued to do to him…and that is the reason why she continues to write lies because she’s a bitter hurting unit and needs to get out of town…fast!


A timeline of abuses that Joan Mary Wheeler has done to me. May 8, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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A timeline of abuses that Joan Mary Wheeler has done to me. 

Joan Wheeler told many gross lies about me in her book Forbidden Family, published in November 2009. Because I still had the court documents that proved what she said in her book were lies, I sent copies of those documents to Trafford Publishers, and their legal team agreed that Joan libeled me in her book. In May 2011, the book was pulled from publication.  


Joan continously says on the internet that she was stalked her entire life by her birth siblings. This is a statement that is not only false, but clearly shows where she is putting the blame for her adoption –ON HER BIRTH SIBLINGS!

 HER ENTIRE LIFE is what she says –so let’s see –she was born in 1956 –in 1956, I was three years old, turning four in August 1956. My brother had just turned 6 in January 1956, Kathy turned 8 in May 1956 and Gert turned 9 years old in January 1956.

 How do four little kids stalk someone? Joan’s statements about her birth siblings are not only lies –they are not RATIONAL! 

Joan’s hatred and bitterness towards her birth-sisters are born of an irrational, delusional, and totally incorrect thought. –We had nothing to do with her adoption! We did not stalk her for her entire life. We are NOT the cause for Joan’s inner demons. We are just convenient punching bags for her because she cannot and will not put the blame for her miserable life on the person who is responsible –the woman who raised her.

I want everyone to really look at this meme and really digest what it says:

 destroy life 

Now, let’s apply this to what Joan Wheeler has done to me.  

1990 stole hundreds of dollars from me by dipping into a joint checking account that we had together for the purpose of buying real estate. Joan used MY money to fix the brakes on HER car – without asking me. A refund from the lawyer we used was split between Joan and me – Joan agreed to give me all the money the lawyer sent her to compensate me for the money she stole. In December 1990 she phoned me and said she changed her mind and was keeping the money. I told her to go fuck herself and get the fuck out of my life.  

1991 Joan begins her campaign to destroy my life. She calls my house and speaks to my husband’s cousin who was living with us at the time. Joyce scribbled a note to me to go on the bedroom phone and listen in. I heard lies, lies, lies – and Joyce said that Joan was trying to turn her against me.  

Joan’s husband at this time, was being a bad boy – he was making ATM withdrawals from the checking account he had with Joan and was using the money at a strip joint. Joan accused me of hacking into her checking account by robbing the ATM and stealing the money.  

1992 out of the clear blue sky – greeting cards supposedly from Joan’s children suddenly began arriving at my house – for my husband “Uncle John” but clearly omitting Aunt Ruth – Joan begins brainwashing her own children.  

1993 Joan gets an annoyance phone call and blames me – calls the phone company to set up a trace trap (pre caller-ID days). To bait me into calling her, she forges a letter from her son – addresses the envelope in her handwriting to me, but the letter inside – written by Joan, but she signs it as her 10 year old son. I stupidly took the bait and called her. But she says, “hold on a minute” and hangs up. Thinking we were disconnected, I called back. She says “wait a minute” again and hangs up. I call again – same thing. I gave up. But Joan calls the phone company and files a police report that I called her and hung up on her – three times. Which is all they need to file charges. Joan LIED AND FILED A FALSE POLICE REPORT ON ME. Phone records at that time did show three short incoming calls from my number. They don’t show who hung up on whom! So we went to court and the judge gave her a restraining order against me – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. I know the date cos it was my birthday – August 9 – and still have the court documents.  

1994 – a typing mistake made a billing clerk in the billing office where I work mixed Joan’s hospital bill up with a patient with a similar name. Joan claimed I did it. She called my job with a complaint. They investigated and traced the mistake to the typing mistake. They also told Joan that I could NOT have done it, as I don’t have access to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it – she KNEW I did it – and for six months – an almost daily basis – kept calling the hospital and telling anyone who answered the phone that I was a bitch and a troublemaker. She told numerous people to fire me. – I was told later about this and hospital adminstrators even had a meeting and people were told that when Joan Wheeler called to hang up on her.  

December 1994 – Joan calls child abuse on herself, posing as me, giving out my name, and naming my husband as a child molester of Joan’s children. Joan writes to New York State Child Abuse center and tells them that in 1993 I was sentenced to six months PROBATION.  

January 1995 – Joan writes several letters to elected officials in the city of Buffalo, including the mayor – these letters contained personal and medical information about me, and tells them that I have a criminal record. Joan sends me copies of these letters, which I use to charge her with harassment, but the judge dismisses the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” When Joan received the summons to court, she begins writing letters to my husband and his mother telling them I am a bitch, John should leave me, and asks my mother in law to appear in court against me. My mother in law had never met Joan. Joan kept calling her on the phone until her other son grabbed the phone and swore at Joan that if she called the house again, the police would be called. 

1997 – Joan asks friends of hers to find a hitman to take me out.  

1998 – I received a harassing letter from Joan stating that I was seen driving past her house. I did not have a car at the time so no, I did not drive past her house. I was also accused of violating the order of protection that she had put against me five years earlier – which was the first time I had heard of that – and she had not said that when I took her to court in 1995.  

February 1999 – Joan sends me a letter stating that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. The house was vacant – and since 1987 (when I moved into my house) there were only two babies born at the house next to me – DJ in 1990 and Jesse in 1992. 

The letter Joan sends me is in an envelope with a return address belonging to a friend that Joan is fighting with. She does not have permission to use her friend’s address. 

I take Joan to court again for harassment and am granted a one year order of protection against Joan. 

January 2004 – after a few months of relative freindly interaction on the internet via a family photo sharing website that I was trying to build, Joan sends me a filthy email (out of the clear blue sky) accusing me of setting her up. I did not have a home computer at the time, and would use public computers at the downtown library or the medical library at my work (which we were allowed to use). I was out sick for a week in January and did not see Joan’s rotten email. It got buried and I finally saw a few weeks later – and I answered her and told her that our uneasy truce was not going to work because she falsely accused me of something I didn’t do. She emails me back – bitching at me – so I told her via email to go to hell.  

November 2009 – Joan goes to a vanity press to have the book she had been writing for 30 years published. In it were many lie, distortions and misrepresentations of myself, my family, my husband. And out and out libel. Statements that the order of protection that she received against me was for one year, not the six months it actually was for.  

Summer 2012 – tells a friend of hers – one Brian Maloney old gossip about me having a fight with someone back in 1979. Joan tells Brian so much bullshit about me that Brian himself begins to cyber-harass me and even stoops to emotional blackmail by threatening to expose my “dark dirty secret” on the internet. I stood up to his abusive threats by telling him to go right ahead and say what he wants – but the police and the courts would be very interested in how a man who is a total stranger to Ruth, never spoke to Ruth face to face, knows Ruth’s “dark dirty secret.” Brian backs off. – So once again, Joan is trying to ruin my reputation. 

November 2012 – writes an anonymous letter to my job accusing me of computer fraud and demands that I be fired. 

January 2013 – admits on the internet that she indeed sent that letter and then says that I’ve been calling her house from my job to set up medical appointments for her.  

So let’s sum up the rotten shit Joan has done: 

1990 – steals money from me, reneges on repayment plan. 

1991 – tries to turn my husband’s cousin against me, accuses me of robbing an ATM. 

1992 – begins to use her children as pawns to turn my husband against me. And begins to brainwash her children against me. 

1993 – sets me up by baiting me to telephone her house, hangs up on me 3 times, then files a false report on me and hauls me into court. 

1994 – begins calling my job with false accusations to have me fired. – Calls child abuse posing as me, trying to get my husband to break up with me. Writes letter to New York State libeling me. 

1995 – continues calling my job trying to get me fired, Writes libelous letters about me to various elected officials. Writes to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me. Writes to my husband telling him to leave me. 

1997 – tries to get me killed. 

1998 – writes stupid harassing letters to me. 

1999 – writes to me telling me my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant. 

2004 – falsely accuses me of things I didn’t do. 

2009 – publishes a libelous book that portrays me as criminal. 

2012 – contacts my job again to get me fired. Continues to try to ruin my reputation by having a friend of hers threaten me with emotional blackmail. 

So — Joan has a history of trying to destroy me personally, trying to destroy my reputation with elected officials and personal friends and in-laws, trying to destroy my relationship with my fiance and my marriage. And trying to destroy my career. 

What did that picture say again? – “you know how to tell when someone is miserable with their own life? When they look for ways to destroy someone else’s.”  

Joan Wheeler is so miserable in her own rotten life, that instead of trying to fix her own life, she has set out for almost 24 years – to destroy my life. 

That’s why I have this blog – to show the world what a bitch Joan is – and to show that she has not, and never will – destroy me.

Refuting a Book of Lies – Forbidden Family by Joan Mary Wheeler May 8, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Uncategorized.
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announcement – November 25, 2017

Yesterday, I announced that I would be hiding a few of my blogposts from public view. Today, I have decided to delete them permanently. They were posts that I wrote in 2010 and 2013 about a former co-worker of mine. In June 2010, we had a ‘spat’ and I deleted her from my facebook. A mere 2 weeks later, she sought out Joan Mary Wheeler (now known as Doris Michol Sippel) on facebook to share dirt about me. I blogged about my feelings of these two acting like 10 year olds, and then MOVED ON.

Three years later, one morning in 2013, I’m on facebook and get a notification that “so and so” is now following you. –hmmm. My former co-worker’s husband, whom I never met is checking me out. I took screenshots and blogged about it. A mere 24 hours after he began following me, he not only ‘unfollowed’ me, but blocked me as well on facebook. I found that humorous and blogged about that as well. And again, I MOVED ON.

The family of these two individuals suffered a terrible and unfortunate event last Friday (November 17, 2017). The husband of my former co-worker and the man who was following me on facebook, was murdered in a shocking and very sad situation. Just because I wondered why he was following me on facebook and I blogged about it, does not mean that I don’t feel bad about what happened to him, and how it affects his family. 

Through my blog stats this week, I have found that people googling his name are coming to this blog. I do not wish to be connected to this family any further. Indeed, I never wanted to be. Therefore, I am deleting my blog posts. I will be copying and pasting the texts and saving any images to a folder on my external hard drive for my personal journal and records.

I send my deepest condolences to the family.

easier to fool people

seeking truth walter cronkite

November 21, 2017 – general blog update

In the coming weeks I hope to have a new look for this blog. I’m tired of this theme, which has two major drawbacks: the most visible is that when you create a ‘page’ the title of the page goes right on top of the title of the blog itself!

The second, the default font color is a washed out blue-gray. I’ve been geting around that by creating all my posts first in my document program on my computer, then copying and pasting that into wordpress.

Last week, I started going through my graphics folder here on the blog (visible only to blog administrators) – I noticed several instances of duplications of some graphics.

I’ve also found some great memes via facebook, pinterest, etc. that are very relevant to this blog. I’ve been putting them in a seperate folder on my external hard drive.

I also need to update this home page. So little by little, maintainence updating will be going on.

BLOG DISCLAIMER…Whenever one writes a public article, on any Internet site, and/or comments on a public article, or writes a comment on a PUBLIC Facebook account that is plainly labeled as a PUBLIC post, there is NO EXPECTATION OF PRIVACY OR THEIR NAME NOT BEING REVEALED. – in other words – you put your name out there on the internet and your name is OUT THERE. Anybody who has been named in this blog – don’t worry, I have put your name to your own words.

new posts: 

Welcome New Visitors (new post – click here) September 30, 2017

Doris Michol Sippel fka Doris Michol Sippel engages in an unprovoked ATTACK on me and my family on the facebook page ADOPTION SUCKS. (what a nice grown-up name there). July 30, 2017

May 7, 2017 — Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters.

A call to Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler to step up to the plate and use her activism skills for something worthwhile. February 12, 2017

Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).  posted on February 11, 2017

Joan Mary Wheeler, aka Doris Michol Sippel gets two of her clueless friends to put new reviews of her book on amazon – January 21, 2017

Some adoptees just can’t GET IT that others are NOT interested in their politics and don’t know when to shut the f… up! January 19, 2017  

gods, nutty people are everywhere. MMD, former friend of Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel has some growing up to do January 15, 2017

 Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has her very first book signing and blows it by screaming at another author there, then calls for other adoptees to harass the woman AND publishes the woman’s phone number on social media. January 3, 2017

Con Artist Joan Mary Wheeler, now known as Doris Michol Sippel strikes again by peddling to an unsuspecting public a book with a new title, a new author-name, BUT THE SAME CONTENTS INSIDE. September 24, 2016

Joan Mary Wheeler and Brian T. Maloney – get out of my life before I have the authorities MAKE YOU LEAVE. August 2, 2016

Joan Mary Wheeler’s puppet for her dirty work Chimp Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville is stalking me again. July 31, 2016 (with screenshot of him doing it)

Update: Monday, May 16, 2016 about the post about the anal-retentive and argumentative person who got his panties in a bunch when Gert and I rebutted his review on amazon dot com of Joan’s libelous book (see link further below) — on amazon this morning, I see that Mark had hastily reviewed 7 books. lol. – Reviewing a bunch of stuff a week after you’ve said you’ve reviewed things doesn’t show intelligence Mark, it shows someone who was caught in the act and now desperately trying to cover up his lies. — yes readers, because I had pointed out in this blog that Mark LIED in his answer to me and Gert (about never having been “attacked’ for his reviews) – I had checked his reviews – he had only reviewed ONE – Joan’s book, then hastily added a second review of another book a couple of hours later – and then yesterday, he went and added 7 more reviews of products. This really shows that critic’s emotional intelligence is at “play” again. Grow up Mark – grown men don’t play at such things. And don’t forget Mark – dates and times of reviews show up on amazon. Your review of the book on John Lennon showed you wrote that review AFTER you said you had other reviews – but you didn’t – at the time you whined about “being attacked about your reviewS” – you only had one review up. I’m not stupid Mark. Not at all.

update – Sunday, May 15, 7pm – interesting – this old post was looked at in the last couple of hours. Speaking of reviews on amazon dot com by personal friends of Joan Wheeler: 

My letter (Jan 18, 2011) to Nicole S. Urdang, therapist, who thought the trash book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler was a good book, but then pulled her review of it off amazon dot com. May 15, 2011

note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker. When her lies are uncovered, she hastily removes traces of her lies. With no apologies or explanations.

note: older posts contain links to Joan’s old blog location. Since 2008, she has had 4 blog locations and every so often changes websites of her blogs and keeps moving things from one blogsite to another. So some links in older blog posts here will not work. She also likes to copy and paste contents from a blog post and hide them in other posts. She’s sneaky like that. Me, I don’t play games – what you see is what you get.


here are links to two on my blog wherein we have all that Joan wrote



Sunday, May 15, 2016, new post – see link just below. And updated the post about the idiot reviewer on amazon (Mark K.) – see link below.

The title of this blog is quite clear – refuting the lies told about me and other members of my family in her book Forbidden Family. Because some fools are taken in by lies told by another fool.

“Who’s the more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows?” – Obi Wan Kenobi

recent posts:

Why hasn’t Joan Mary Wheeler announced her legal name change? May 15, 2016

related post: Joan Wheeler talks the talk, but can’t (fully) walk the walk. November 23, 2014

Legal Notice by Ruth B. Pace (nee Sippel) concerning Joan Mary Wheeler’s legal name change to Doris Michol Sippel May 12, 2016

Joan Mary Wheeler has legally changed her name to Doris Michol Sippel May 12, 2016

A truly anal and argumentative person reviews Joan Wheeler’s trash book on amazon and can’t stand to have opposition viewpoints May 8, 2016

A timeline of abuses that Joan Mary Wheeler has done to me. May 8, 2016

2016: a new year and I’M BACK! to blog about Joan Mary Wheeler’s lies in her Forbidden Family trashbook. January 3, 2016

here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013

Joan Mary Wheeler blames ‘adoption’ for her crappy life. Since we started our blogs in 2009, to refute her lies aobut us and our family in her ‘autobiography’ (published in 2009) and answering her comments on adoption forums and other internet sites, we have learned that there are many self-labeled “angry adoptees.” These are usually adoptees who have suffered mental and physical abuse, sometimes sexual abuse from the family that adopted them. They feel as tho if they lobby and whine and fight and kick and scratch against the institution and the idea of adoption and fight to actually abolish adoption altogether – it will make their crappy childhood better. I know for a fact that Joan had been mentally abused by her psycho adoptive mom, I witnessed it. I never saw witnessed physical abuse (Joan was 18 when we were reunited), but I believe she was. AND I truly believe, tho Joan has never said so – that she was sexually abused. – The signs are all there of an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

ALSO – Joan hates her birthsiblings – us – because we were not adopted out, but she was. So she is out to punish us for that, and the whole world for her adoption.

She has tried in the past many times to destroy my life, my career, my marriage – for more than 25 years I’ve been her main target of harassments. This blog tells the tale of those many harassments – with documents to prove what I say – actual police and court documents pertaining to the times I’ve hauled her in front of weak judges who dismiss the charges – even though proof is presented of her harassments. This blog also contains scans of numerous letters that Joan Wheeler has mailed to me – in her own handwriting. And letters she wrote to my husband via his mother’s house in efforts to break us up.

She admits to calling my job multiple times in 1994-95. She did it again in 2012, claiming that I was committing computer fraud on my job. My employer investigated me, and exonerated me. I had a meeting in Human Resources. I was told that I was found innocent, because they can track every keystroke I do.  Joan also bragged about that deed on the internet! (Huffington Post). I submitted a screen shot of her bragging and the judge dismissed the charges.

So this blog not only refutes the lies told about me in her book, but her lies about me on the internet, and all the harassments that I have endured from this sick woman the past 25-plus years. Joan whines on the internet that I, and my other sisters ‘bother’ her – yet she never shows or gives proof of such. Only fools and ignorant idiots believe a liar when no proof is given of their claims, yet refuse to believe a court document that show that their ‘hero’ is in fact a liar. 

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