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Postscript to My Story May 16, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.

Came across this blog post and this paragraph: 

“I just can’t imagine what these adoptees will feel when they grow up and realize that their story doesn’t belong to them to share when they are ready, if they are ever ready. Perhaps, by then, the concept and value of privacy will be seen as some long-ago old-fashioned value people held. I can’t imagine coming upon a story about the day I was born, nor the story about losing my birthright, my privacy, my agency about who could know the most intimate things about me and who I came from.” One person commented: “Sharing a story that is not ours to share is the ultimate disrespect.”

Joan Mary Wheeler “liked” this blog post. Hmmmm. Because it has to deal with the ‘privacy’ of adoptees. But Joan herself, cares little for the privacy of others. Her whole book Forbidden Family is one big invasion of privacy on her biological family, her adoptive family, even her own children’s privacy is not respected in her book!

The premise of her book is tell about HER adoption and HER efforts to reform the instituiton of adoption. So WHY are details of MY marriages, MY miscarriage, MY life, MY career in her book? Along with a bunch of LIES about me and those items.

She first published her libelous book in November 2009 and touted it as her ‘autobiography.’ After it was pulled from publication in May 2011 because I proved to the publisher that she lied about me in it, she self-published in 2015 and now peddles it as a ‘memoir’ so she can use the convenient excuse that it is how she ‘remembered’ things. Bullshit.

She has always complained about my blog – well, I have the right to tell MY story, especially since she told her version of my story first.

Let’s look at this sentence from the paragraph I quoted above: “I can’t imagine coming upon a story about the day I was born, nor the story about losing my birthright, my privacy, ” – Imagine my surprise in October 2009 that I see Joan commenting on an internet news site and giving out in great detail, the story of MY family’s life, and details of MY childhood! WTF? And on this news site, she announces the publication of this new book of hers, AND gives out the URL addy of her blog that she set up in the summer of 2009 to promote her book and write her other stuff.

She also had an adoptee buddy of hers put up a ‘promotion’ of the book on her blog. I tried to tell my side of the story – as opposed to the bull that Joan put on that news site, but the blog owner would not publish it. Well, her site, her rules.

I immediately ordered Joan’s book and got it within a few days. I flipped through it and saw lie after lie after lie and a couple of invasions of MY privacy. So I immediately went on the internet and started this blog. If Joan was going to invade MY privacy, well I needed a platform to tell MY side of the story. And we see how hypocritical Joan is – ‘liking’ a post that talks about privacy, yet she herself respects no one else’s privacy.

And in my blog – I pull no punches – I tell it like it is. And when needed, I offer proof of what I say – with internet screenshots, with photographs, with scans of documents and letters (and in many cases their envelopes).

Joan ‘shared’ MY life story in her book without my permission, and in many cases, lied and twisted things to smear my reputation. As the one commenter said ““Sharing a story that is not ours to share is the ultimate disrespect.” Since Joan has shown me gross disrespect, I owe her no respect in turn.


The adopted ones blog

After reading a horrible adoption story published in the NY Post written through the lens of the adopting parents, I realized, that I forgot to say how lucky I am in that post to being able to decide when (or not) to share My Story. 

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