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Joan Mary Wheeler, aka Doris Michol Sippel gets two of her clueless friends to put new reviews of her book on amazon January 21, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Mary Wheeler - fraud artists.
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Joan Mary Wheeler, aka Doris Michol Sippel gets two of her clueless friends to put new reviews of her book on amazon 

On September 22, 2016, Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel published a 4th version/edition of her “Forbidden Family” book. This time it’s called “Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity,” published in 2015 as “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption, and published in 2009 as “Forbidden Family.” Each time she published it with a different title, the content was 99% the same, with some chapters taken out, other nonsense added in. In 2015, she actually put out TWO version of the book, the second one slightly different from the first.

WHY all the changes and revisions to a TRUTH-filled and FACT-filled book? answer – because she DOESN’T tell the truth in ANY version she puts out of this ridiculous book. 

On April 18th, 2016, Joan Mary Wheeler appeared in the Surrogate’s Court of Erie County New York and legally had her name changed to her birth name of Doris Michol Sippel. She then set about re-publishing her book “Forbidden Family,” “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption,” again, presumably to reflect her name change, and this time changed the book’s title again (“Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity.” 

I posted the following review on amazon: 

BAIT AND SWITCH – CON-ARTISTRY By Ruth Pace on September 23, 2016

this is classic bait and switch – I purchased previously the kindle edition of Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption by Joan Mary Wheeler a year ago – Ms. Wheeler had her name legally changed to Doris Michol Sippel in June 2016 (Ruth’s note, January 21, 2017: error – it was in April 2016) – and then changed the title of the book to Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity. But this is the SAME EXACT BOOK AS THE PREVIOUS BOOK.

If the author wanted her book to reflect her name change, she should have made clear on the cover and on the selling site that this book “was previously published in its entirety as “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption” under my adopted name Joan Mary Wheeler.” 

On January 11 2017, one of Joan/Doris’ friends, Fred Tomasello Jr, wrote a review, and then on January 14, 2017, another one of Joan/Doris’ friends, Michael Euler also published a review. Fred repeated his previous review of the version “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption” but added a new paragraph in the beginning. He starts with this sentance: “This book has been updated by the author, has a new cover and the author’s name is now accurate.”

Michael Euler’s first sentance says just about the same thing: “The author of Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity has recently changed her name from Joan Wheeler to Doris Michol Sippel reclaiming her birth name, bringing additional healing to the ongoing process she continues to experience. The new book cover and updating of the book is also part of the process of truth telling.” 

Both reviews, and my comments and Gert’s comments in their entirety are at the end of this blog post – I only wish to address these two sentances, both expressing the need for TRUTH and ACCURACY. I, also am for TRUTH AND ACCURACY, and that’s what I said in my review in September 2016 when I showed that Joan/Doris was playing the classic bait and switch with amazon customers? WHERE WAS THE TRUTH AND ACCURACY FOR POTENTIAL BOOK BUYERS? 

Fred and Michael are championing for TRUTH and ACCURACY – but only when it comes to ADOPTEES. And that’s NOT the issue here.The issue is Joan/Doris did NOT make it clear to the buying public that “Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity” is essentially the same book/product as the book/product called “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption” — further, there was NO explanation that Doris Michol Sippel was formerly known as Joan Mary Wheeler. 

Joan Mary Wheeler legally changing her name to her birth name of Doris Michol Sippel may reflect TRUTH AND ACCURACY for adoptees/adoption issues/adoption reform, but it is NOT TRUTH AND ACCURACY FOR THE BUYING PUBLIC. Fred and Michael need to learn more about consumerism, false advertising, bait and switch, and other scams. And while I have your attention, I have come to see that for many adoptees, TRUTH and ACCURACY applies ONLY to them – the rest of us can have lies told about us, and that’s just fine with them. 

By M. Euler on January 14, 2017

The author of Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity has recently changed her name from Joan Wheeler to Doris Michol Sippel reclaiming her birth name, bringing additional healing to the ongoing process she continues to experience. The new book cover and updating of the book is also part of the process of truth telling. 

Doris’ memoir describes the pain of having been a “victim” of a closed adoption. She highlights an experience that shaped the lives of many adoptees as they were funneled into the adoption system that was in place during that period of time in our society when it common for all records to be sealed, and those involved sworn to secrecy. 

Being “found” by her birth family introduced Doris to a very emotional period. She experienced many ups and downs as she tried to come to terms with the secrecy and dishonesty that played into all her familial relationships. 

Joan’s need to understand the rules she’d been forced to live under provided the impetus for her to speak out against the system, and write about her experience. She became active in the American Adoptees Congress, finding encouragement and support from other adoptees and a community of professionals where her experiences were understood and validated. 

Today she continues to speak out and write, finding areas where she can make a difference and to ensure the future of open adoptions.  

Fred Tomasello Jr. Jan 11

This book has been updated by the author, has a new cover and the author’s name is now accurate. For most of us, discovering one’s past is a lot of fun and is taken for granted but for an adopted child, this search presents a difficult challenge. The bond between a child and their biological parents is never broken and Doris Michol Sippel’s search for truth has not been easy. 

 If a birth certificate lists only the adoptive parents as mother and father, how does one find their biological parents and reunite with the rest of their family? Every case is different and Doris details how she found her truth. 

“Nobody thought about it. We just wanted a child.” The “it” is adoption. These are the words Joan Wheeler’s adoptive mother told her years later and they equal the preconceived ideas millions of us have about adoption. 

 A phone call at age 18 started the “reunion” and carries the reader on an emotional roller-coaster lasting decades. The raw, descriptive language connects as secrets and family nuances are revealed, Every page is riveting and the candid details are gut-wrenching. Years of discovery, rejection, introspection, research, maturity and courage merge in Doris’s memoir to become a laser light focused on the importance of truth. 

 Doesn’t everyone want to know their father, mother, brothers and sisters? The desire to find family never goes away and attempts to do so are often met with accusations of ingratitude. While undergoing years of severe emotional stress, I am amazed that the author was able to write cogently about her families making a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness starting with the birth certificate and for staying in contact with one’s family. An exciting and riveting read, this book is well ahead of it’s time and deeply enhances my understanding of adoption.


gert mcqueen says: Jan 12 

If you want truth, it’s not here

Since I first saw this review the reviewer has edited the first draft of his review, fixing certain mistakes and recycling sentences from his original review of the second incarnation of this piece of garbage! Nothing much new can be said about the book now is there?  

The author should have informed the buying public of her CHANGE of name before presenting a revision that LOOKS LIKE a NEW book. The author’s name WAS correct and accurate as an adoptee. Changing her name legally back to her birth name, is her right, but does NOT change accuracy but leads to confusion for she is NOT on any family tree of the birth family.  

Most of this book, told now three times, is about OTHER people, based on biases of and misrepresentations by the author, for the sole purpose to promote a political agenda; reform of birth certificates. Birth and adopted parents and families should not have their ENTIRE lives exposed, exploited and misrepresented by someone who is discontented with the life they have.

This reviewer’s position, that this book is ‘a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness’ obviously shows that he hasn’t objectively used the art of ‘critical thinking’ while reading and/or comparing the opinions and words of others in their reviews, comments, discussions, not only in this book but the last two versions.  

For the author and friends who seem to think that the tragedies that happened to two families will change the course of adoption reform and is riveting and exciting, is not only laughable but shows signs of delusions of grandeur and self-absorption. No one in the great wide world gives a hoot about what this author think or believes. Actually, the overwhelming majority of opinions on this author are quite negative. But hey, if you can’t deal with reality, then by all means, make things up to fit your fantasy; knock yourselves out.  

In the meanwhile here are links, on Amazon, that will help others to see what is within the pages of this book.  

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


Joan Mary Wheeler forum


And here is the link to the FIRST book, it has one review and 4 comments  

Ruth first comment Jan 12

Accuracy and truthfulness – the author makes a strong case for them — when it pertains to only her. Everybody else’s life is NOT worthy of accuracy and truthfulness.

However, I have posted on my blog, scans of actual police and court documents that prove that the author lies about me in this book. Copies of those documents were sent to Trafford Publications, which had published the first edition of the book – the documents clearly showed libel and Trafford pulled the book from publication.

Those inaccuracies and UNtruthfulness (aka LIES) are still in later editions of this book.

The reviewer also writes “An exciting and riveting read, this book is well ahead of it’s time and deeply enhances my understanding of adoption.” — I would like to ask HOW — when almost 50% of the book is about ‘Brenda’ – (me) – every other page is Brenda this, and Brenda that. Is this a book about Joan/Doris’ adoption or is it about the life of Brenda? My marriages are discussed, my miscarriage is mocked (the author states it was good thing because I apparently spent more time on collecting horror movies than I would have paid attention to a child) – that is a judgement call on somebody else’s life, and has nothing to do with anybody’s adoption. Let’s see, what else – oh yes, Joan/Doris describes my belly dancing – again – MY life is all over this book – sorry, I was NOT adopted, therefore, WHY is MY life all over the pages? So yes, I object to this book, and my review is that it is NOT a book about adoption per se, but about an ‘adult’ adoptee’s anger over her adoption and lashing out her birthsiblings (me in particular) and anybody else who ever got on her bad side by disagreeing with her.

But yeah, hey – if Joan/Doris wants to get the word out about ME and make ME famous — HA! come visit me at my facebook under Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – and see my belly dancing pictures.  

Ruth second comment Jan 13

This book is nothing but the lunatic ravings of a person who is full of anger and hatred over her adoption.

This reviewer suggests that the book makes for a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness – But he fails to see a falsehood committed by the author. The reveiwer says the writer was able to write cogently about her families. Cogently means appealing forcibly to the mind or reason.

I would like that reviewer to apply that to the passage in which the author describes my father telling her (after the author was reunited with her birthfamily) of her mother’s death. The author describes my mothers body at the time of death – that the bandages holding all the rotted insides of her split and the cancer dripped out of her vagina.


Any person with congitive awareness would see that as a bunch of nonsense.

Does anyone really believe that at the time of death, a patient’s bandages fall apart and the body’s cancer falls out onto the bed? And cancer drips out of the vagina? Somehow, I don’t think my father spread his newly dead wife’s legs apart to see that.

I have worked 43 years as a nurse’s aide in a major metropolitan hospital and have witnessed many deaths, even to the point of holding a patient’s hands while they died. (cancer patients too). AND I have performed post mortem care on their newly dead bodies. This is cleaning up the body and sending them to the hospital’s morgue. Now, yes, at the time of death muscles do relax, SOMETIMES the bladder and rectum releases substances, and yes, SOMETIMES there has been some drainage from a female’s perineum area.

But I point out again – MY FATHER WOULD NOT HAVE SEEN THAT. And at the time of her death, Joan/Doris was only 3 months old. really. come on.

AND bandages do not fall apart at the moment of death. In 43 years, I have never seen that. If a dressing over a patient’s wound had split open, it must have been a bolt of lightning. Did the author think the guaze bandages were split like the curtains in the temples when Jesus died on the cross? Or was there an alien come busting out of the body at the time of her death? Come on people – get real!

But this is how Joan/Doris honors the woman who gave her life – writing such nonsense. 

Only a deranged person would write that nonsense and only an equally deranged person would think that passage constitutes maturity and courage (as he says about the author in the fourth paragraph in his ‘review’ of a garbage book written by a personal friend of his.

I apologize for the graphic content of this comment – but it needed to be brought out into the open exactly what garbage is in this “truthful’ book.


Some adoptees just can’t GET IT that others are NOT interested in their politics and don’t know when to shut the f… up! January 19, 2017

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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follow up on Ruth’s recent post, links are within the posts…

Ruth here: my comment here, and on Gert’s original post –

interesting – and thank you Gert for posting the entire exchange, as it had happened, and deleted by Megan while I was offline. 

Megan contacted ME on July 18, 2016 AFTER she had a fight with Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel – our adopted-out, then reunited with, younger sister.

She said she had been reading my blog and was appalled at Joan’s behaviors towards me.

Way back when she first contacted me – after reading my blog, she said “I urge you when reading this line from your blog “Gert and I don’t really care about any adoption issues” to please have a change of heart. “ 

to which I replied:

“Megan, when I said (on my blog) that we don’t care about adoption issues, that meant that it isn’t on the top of our cause list. – we are aware of the issues and are for reform of a more truthful birth certificate and of course medical information, genetic background info.” 

So yeah, Gert is right – these adoptees just can’t get it that others are NOT interested in their politics and don’t know when to shut the f…. up! 

Megan Mary’s passion, as is Joan’s passion is their adoption issues. Fine. Good for them.


I told little Megan that right from the get go.

She must be learning impaired that she didn’t get that. 

She got her panties in a bunch when Gert told her over and over to shut up and leave her alone. 

She told me that she thinks Joan is a wack-a-doo. Well I think that too. I also believe that Megan Mary is also a wack-a-do.

For several months, Megan Mary and I were connected on facebook. We had a few interesting conversations on facebook, both private and public.

Megan doesn’t know me. I don’t know her. All we know about each other is what’s on facebook. And I am very clear on facebook what I will not tolerate. And that is DISRESPECTING ME AND MY VIEWPOINTS.

And since I told Megan right from the get go, that I am NOT interested in adoption issues, and she didn’t get it – or rather REFUSED to get it – then further dug herself into a hole by going after one of my family members who has the same viewpoint as I do – well I view her as a wack-a-do.

Then to further cement her reputation as a wack-a-do, Megan turns coward – deletes things, unfriends and blocks ME, who had nothing to do with the exchange between her and Gert (I was snoozing on the couch with the cat).

Megan, are you 31 or are you 10 years old? Grow up, grow a spine.

Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

Insult me, tell me I’m wrong, browbeat me, and then when I tell you to take a hike, get all pissy about it and tell me I owe you an apology! When I state my position is contrary to yours, accept that and shut up! Don’t make me BE wrong because I disagree with you. Sounds just like how Joan behaves; narcissistic behavior and all!

So when they persist in ramming their agenda down the throat of someone who has said repeatedly to STOP, and they continue ramming…they are doing just what they accuse others of doing … NOT LISTENING. Then they turn EVIL and MEAN and resort to NAME CALLING AND INSULTING. When they behave this way, they lose their credibility, they are NOT effective and they do great harm to their cause.

This happens with any and all browbeating techniques.

In this short pattern of dialog, I’m Person…

View original post 2,437 more words

gods, nutty people are everywhere. MM, former friend of Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel has some growing up to do January 15, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Beware! Nutty People are Everywhere.
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 I wanted to blog about a couple things this weekend, but my focus was pulled by a really rude little child. Well, she’s 31 years old, but acts like she’s 6.

Okay, so last summer, I’m minding my own business on facebook and I get a notification of a message request – so I read it.  

MM July 18, 2016

“Ruth oh my goodness I just read your blog about your half sister. I am an adoptee myself and discovered I have 7 sisters. It pains me that my birthmother is demanding they don’t talk to me, but I think your situation is different. I broke up a friendship with Joan Wheeler nor Doris Sippel and then started one up again but after reading your blog I stumbled upon 5 minutes ago I am unfriending her here on FB and for good once more. I am guessing you really tried in the beginning to get to know her but her behaviour made you stay away. I too am against nearly all adoptions and I was curious as to why she had to be given away. Also, I also grew up rich but that doesn’t mean us adoptees don’t have anger or a lack of civil rights. Nevertheless some of the comments Doris/Joan have made are shocking and I feel it’s best if I avoid her.” 

She writes a couple of more messages. Now I actually don’t remember if I sent her a facebook friend request or did she send me one, (after we had a conversation on private message) but at any rate, we became facebook buddies. We had some very nice intelligent discussions both publically and privately on facebook. 

MM. says that she has read a lot of my blog. Somehow I don’t think she retains what she reads. Her first sentance in her first message to me she says Joan is my half-sister. No, she is my full bio sister. In subsequent messages between us, I told her exactly how and why Joan was adopted. I know what was said, because I never deleted ANY of the private messages between her and me. Anyways – fast forward to Saturday, January 14, 2017 when she asks me WHY my father relinguished Joan. — I told her all about that on July 18, 2016: “it was a child care issue. Joan was three months old when mom died. I was 3 – the others were 5,8, and 9. There simply was no one to take care of an infant. My grandparents were elderly, my grandfather had only one leg. they tried as best they could. Other aunts and uncles also tried to help out – but they also had kids of their own. My Uncle Richard actually had Joan from the time she was discharged from the hospital until after my mom died, but Aunt Ann was also pregnant and had 4 toddlers.

There just wasn’t anybody to take care of her. Meanwhile, my Aunt Catherine, who also had just had a baby, and little ones at home, had a childhood friend, Helen. Helen’s brother and his wife were looking to adopt. So Catherine and her brother Richard suggested adoption to my father.

 so my father talked it over with our parish priest. and it was decided that he relinquish her for adoption. By the way, this was done BEFORE my mother’s funeral, not AT her funeral, the way Joan likes to tell it.” — Well, okay I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she forgot that I told her this months ago. 

So on January 7, 2017 – I got a request from MM — Could I write something about adoptees and put it on her wall so that her bio-family can see it?

“If you need the background story – Bio mother going around asking everyone to “respect her and pretend I don’t exist”. Pretty shitty. So they feel that if they talk to me they’re being rude to her. I’m so sick of this bs.” 

Well, I agreed, and was thinking of what to write, Jan 7 and 8, I wasn’t feeling too good, and when I told her that I hadn’t written it, she says “Hey wait til March. I decided I’m not dealing with trying to kiss ass to them and have them in my life until March …. I mentally need the break. Until March I am focusing on ME and the relationships I already have with people … I mean if my bio family wants to be in my life before March AWESOME, I’d be super happy but I have done and tried all I can and I am taking a break for the next 2 months.” 

On January 11, my sister Gert posted links on my facebook about her latest blogposts about Joan/Doris and an enthusiastic discussion commenced about adoption, adoptees, and other things. A couple of my other facebook friends joined in.  

via private message MM asks me: “Are you trying to tell me I am NOT a member of my bio family? Are you trying to compare me to your wackadoo sister?” And I said no, I then wrote: “JOAN will never be part of her bio family BECAUSE OF HER OWN ACTIONS – she WAS part of our family, when we welcomed her back – in 1974. She was asked to leave because of what she did.If she had not done those anti-social things – she’d still be part of our family.Yes, our reactions, and particularly MY saying she is not my family is due to anger, yes. But even if she had never been adopted out – and had been raised with us – I would have disassocieated myself from her.”

MM says “100% agree with you”

I continued: “Even people who are legal members of a bio family are ‘disowned’ because they are abusive to other family members. My comment is from the perspective of what I have gone through — I recognize that not all families are like mine – and there are instances, like yours, where innocent people are NOT being recognized as family members. — these are the “on the other hand” points I want to make in my upcoming blog post.” — MM: “100% 100% agree. Whew ok just so long as you know I think Joan is an abusive wackadoo” 

So between what I had written to her right there, and a couple of more posts on my public timeline, I was getting the gist of what I wanted to compose for MM and make it into an actual blog post. 

On Saturday, January 14, another couple of enthusiastic discussions took place on my public facebook timeline. Commenters were me, MM, my sister Gert, and a couple of my other facebook friends. I know MM was in disagreement with a couple of things, but she was respectful – for the most part. She did say my father was wrong for relinguishing Joan up for adoption and did call him an “asshat.” – I let it go, because I knew that adoptees are very passionate and some are unforgiving when it comes to having been relinquished for adoption. I basically chalked it up to a bit of an over-spewing of the mouth. But still, I was a bit put-off by that. 

Anyway, I don’t remember what time it was – sometime in the late afternoon – I went offline and was lounging on the couch, even took a nap with the cat. And again, I don’t know what time it was – maybe 8 or 9pm, I come back to facebook to find – a private message from Gert wherein MM had jumped on her.

While I was snoozing – MM got her panties in a bunch when Gert told her of her viewpoints of adoption. MM proceeded to ‘lecture’ Gert, and Gert told her to stop.

Then MM apparently unfriended ME and blocked ME. I went and deleted every comment that MM had placed on my timeline. (when you block someone, their previous comments remain). But I wrote this: 

“from the “please grow up and leave me alone” department.

 Gert reports that she has been attacked by one of my facebook friends via fb pm. AND prior to that – was disrespected during a debate on my timeline. I generally treat my fb friends as adults, but sometimes I have to step in.

 Gert’s post does not seem to be showing up – it may be due to Gert’s privacy settings. However – I am posting here, the two comments that I made.

 comment 1

 that person seems to have issues. her facebook page has been taken temporarily taken down. probably cos she knows she went too far and wanted to run tail between her legs.

 I cannot block her because she temporaily took her page down. Once it’s up again, she will be blocked. I don’t know if she unfriended me or not – I can’t tell because as I said she’s taken her page down temporarily.

 She did this once before, claiming her account was hacked, however she left me a mysterious pm asking why I had marked her as spam. Which I hadn’t. I remembered her saying she had problems with her account being hacked, so I had assumed that’s what happened. But before I could answer her – her page was taken down.

 Then a couple of weeks later, she’s back up. I gave her the benefit of the doubt back then. This time, I see she plays games. Attacks, runs, shuts her page down so we can’t respond.


 I did not see her ‘attacking’ us a couple of hours ago – it happened while I was offline. She needs to accept the fact, as do Joan and any other adoptee and everyone needs to accept that, that every other human being, has the right to their own opinion. Doesn’t matter how or why, that is their right.

 One may have a differing opinion, and I am willing to debate – respectfully – the issue. But when the debate turns into one person lecturing the other, and one person repeatedly says, “don’t lecture me.” – that person gets an automatic trip to the airlock.

 But this person is passive-aggressive – she attacks, then runs her little ass away before we can catch her and shove her into the airlock, and eject her, helmetless, and oxygen tank less into the deep reachers of outer space.

 Not a good way to behave like a grown up. She’s outta here! Her comments on my page have been deleted.  This is how I know she didn’t block me – her comments were still visible to me. (Ruth’s note: I was in error, there, some comments ARE still visible when they block you).

 And what is she going to do? Go run to Joan and report all she read what we wrote the past couple of days? Big Deal. Everything I’ve written has been on my blog for years.

 But since she herself got into a fight with Joan (I don’t know why, never asked, don’t care) – she will need to grovel back to her.

 OR – since she may use the ploy “hey, Joan, I got some gossip about Ruth” – Joan may take her back. — just the way Joan and my former cow-worker (not a typo) Laura Heath got her panties in a bunch when I told her not to lecture me, and she went and found Joan to gossip about me.

 Honestly, these (ahem) ‘ladies” are all over the age of 30 – yet act like 10 year olds.

 I don’t have time for little kiddies.  I put up with M because we did have some interesting debates – but when one starts acting like a fool – well – I don’t tolerate fools.”

” love Harlan’s famous line about the herd culling themselves: DIG OR SPLIT. – in the vernacular (mode of expression; i.e. slang) of the 60’s – DIG meant like (I lke the dress you’re wearing). SPLIT meant leave – (I gotta split, my bus is coming. see ya!)

So, DIG what’s on my page, and my and my sister’s viewpoint of adoption and how it relates to OUR OWN FAMILY – or take a hike.”

“you know, Gert and I do NOT talk about adoption and how it relates to other people’s PERSONAL FAMILY BUSINESS – we discuss ONLY our own family. Or adoption in general. We ain’t particularly interested in adoption. We’ve done our adoption research 40 years ago, we can see that our sister was deeply affected by her adoption.

Our issues with Joan is NOT about her adoption – they are all about JOAN’S ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIORS TOWARDS US.

I am willing to debate the possibility that adoption affected Joan adversely, however, I believe it is WHO adopted her and HOW she was treated growing up that makes her such a bitch. And I have always said – just because a person has been abused, it does not give them the right to turn around and abuse someone else.

Joan’s mission in life is to PUNISH the world for her adoption – and in particular to PUNISH her birthsisters because we were not adopted out and she was. Doesn’t matter that we were little kids ourselves and had nothing to do with it – she knows this – but she’s screwed in the head. And I don’t need other people coming here and passing judgment on me or my family. I WON’T TOLERATE IT.”

 So then today, Sunday, January 15, 2017, around 2:15pm I found her blog on wordpress and left her this comment:

“I want to say that you are acting like a little child. You didn’t like what my sister Gert had to say – fine. You can disagree with her all you want – you could have simply blocked her. WHY DID YOU UNFRIEND AND BLOCK ME? Now I honestly am not hurt that you did. I’m not about to wring my hands “somebody on social media unfriended me.” But what you did was very childish.

YOU were the one who contacted ME. YOU were the one who said they read my blog and understood my anger towards Joan.

I’ve been very truthful with you. I could tell that you and I disagreed on things about adoption. YOU could have adult enough to accept it – YOU do NOT have the right to be disrespectful to ANYONE. Be they a facebook friend of mine, or family member.

And while I have your attention – YOU do not have the right to call MY father an ‘asshat.’ YOU could have said, “I think you’re father was wrong.”

Who the hell are YOU to come to MY facebook page – and call MY father names? please do some growing up.

by the way – if you want something said to your birth family, have the guts to say it to them yourself. Why ask me, to get involved and write a comment so they will see it?

I don’t know them. I don’t even know you. You don’t know me. You don’t get to call ANY of my family members names. I accepted your friend request last year in complete and open honesty. Can you say the same?

Did you simply come to me because I am Joan’s sister and YOU had a fight with her and wanted to see if I would trash her and give you salicious info on her? Anything I ever said on my facebook timeline or in our private messages conversations has already been said on my public blog.Please M. – grow up and leave me alone.” 


So here I am, at 3:30pm, Sunday, January 15, putting this blog post together, and I go to my facebook for some referencing, and I find that MM has unblocked me. I’m not in the mood for playing games. So I went and blocked her.

MM – ya’ll wanna come to my blog and read, go right ahead – that’s what it’s here for. But I’m serious. I don’t put up with childish, foolish antics from grown women that should know better.

Comment 1 – gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017 

Thank you Ruth for posting this…my time is limited at this moment, but I shall revisit. I am appalled over this MM’s behavior, she has no respect for another’s views, she plays both ends at the same time, because she’s a sneak, like Joan, she obviously hasn’t grown mentally beyond age 12, has a short fuse, doesn’t like ANYONE adopting, AND then as the gall to attack MY positions, right after AGREEING with me! Would NOT stop when I said please stop, she kept it up and up, getting more insulting with every sentence…does the word crazy mean anything here? Yes it does

comment 2 – Ruth – January 15, 2017 

Because I used my private email address in filling out the comment form to leave a comment on MM’s blog – she got hold of my email address and sent me an email. I didn’t bother to read it.  I did instruct my email to treat any incoming email from her as spam and she is blocked.

 The subject line was “I’m sorry …” that’s all I read. –  IF she is sincere in being sorry, perhaps this will be a lesson for her – she had a problem with Gert, she punished ME. (not that I lost any sleep over it – lol).

 MM – and I know you will eventually read this blog post – you made a mistake. Humans make mistakes. If that was your apology, fine. I, however, am under no obligation to maintain any contact with you.  This is how life works.

 You don’t get to use me as a springboard for your anger at Joan/Doris for whatever fight you had.

 I’m a nice person – but when I get used – the results are not nice. This is all on YOUR head.

 And by the way – don’t even TRY to make me or Gert feel guilty for our stand on adoption. It’s been tried in the past – didn’t work then, won’t work now.

comment 3 – gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017 

right! MM may be truly sorry, but I WARNED her several times to STOP, she did not! I don’t suffer fools gladly, a person fu…s with me they are dead meat…I don’t take hostages and I don’t forgive…you mess with me and my CHILDREN how I birth them, adopt them, raise them you (that interfere) will pay the price. 

  Reply by Ruth – January 15, 2017 

well, she SAID she was ‘sorry’ – but do we even know if she REALLY is sorry?  I don’t care. SHE is the one who showed HER true colors – sucking up to me – then doing a 180.  what an ass.

comment 4. gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017

‘…never having to say you’re sorry…’ is a bullshit sentiment! I wasn’t born yesterday, oh excuse me…I was born YESTERDAY 70 years ago! I learned a lot over my life and I’m don’t wear my religion, my feelings, my anger, my anything on my sleeve…ONCE I’m betrayed that’s the END…sorry is an excuse, I don’t accept excuses. I’m interested in a human being that GROWS and LEARNS and ACCEPTS the rights of the OTHER, regardless. My beef with adoption is with Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel and how she VIOLATED my children’s rights and my parental rights and I shall NOT accept anyone attempting to MAKE ME BE WRONG! period end of story…tell me you are sorry til the end of the world…a person that DOES NOT know me, my FATHER and my CHILDREN, DOES NOT have the right to insult my father, demean my children, and tell me I was and am WRONG.

 Take your freaking politics and shove it your ass! and why MM is at it perhaps she really ought to LEARN HOW TO PRAY THE ROSARY.

 Stop being a freaking hypocritic, live your life the way your lord Jesus wants you to and stop being an asshole 

Reply by Ruth – January 15, 2017


 I totally agree with you Gert – especially the part about the rosary. Such a devout little Catholic girl saying her rosary, yet calling a stranger’s father an asshat! AND trying to shove shit down two stranger’s throats. 

Just what the FUCK is wrong with these adoptees? They demand THEIR rights, but REFUSE to see that other people have THEIR rights as well. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – AND IT’S ON THE PAGES OF THIS BLOG — Gert’s and my ‘problems’ with adoption has NOTHING to do with adoptee rights or adoptees problems.


We don’t give a fuck about problems with adopted or biological families of other adoptees. 

The names of our blogs are

 Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

 Reclaiming the Sippel Family Honor

 duped by adoption & an woman’s Struggle for Identity, a book study 

There is not one word in the blogs’ titles that would suggest that we are even remotely interested in adoption, adoption reform, adoptee feelings, rights or us being mentors for adoptees. 

Don’t like the fact that we DON’T CARE about your problems? Then LEAVE.

 by the way, one of my facebook friends who was reading this development, suggested to me that perhaps MM was a spy for Joan/Doris. – I don’t know. Don’t care. My facebook is public. And as I said before, there was nothing I ever said to MM on facebook, both privately or publicly that hasn’t been said on this blog before.

 And if she was a spy — well, is there a bead on that rosary to ask forgiveness for that kind of bullshit MM?

comment 5. gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017

I use my prayer beads often, I offer to my gods and goddesses often, I’m not perfect, but I do not, I repeat I do not, tell others how to live their lives. I EXPOSE Joan/Doris’s disgusting deeds that she has done to me and my family. If YOU are NOT part of my family take a hike and get the hell out of my face

January 19, 2017 update…see this post for more info


What REALLY is the motive of Joan M Wheeler taking her birth name of Doris M Sippel? Was it THOUGHT OUT or is there a MOTIVE? January 11, 2017

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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much food for thought

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

If an adoptee changes their name, legally, back to the birth name, what is the motive/reason?

Is it really a good thing to ‘take back’ their birth name? What about others in that birth family whom NOW have to deal with this ‘new’ addition to their family tree/name? How do GENERATIONS, current and in the future, DEAL with this ‘interloper’ who ‘takes’ the family name, after adoption? How about general CONFUSIONS? Make no mistake confusions and more can happen when some takes and claims a NAME that others in a family KNOW nothing about!

She may be able to legally change her name back to her birth family name, but that does NOT give her any standing in the birth family. In fact it causes confusion and more, for generations to come. Doris M Sippel was born in 1956, adopted and became Joan M Wheeler. Regardless of the fact that…

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Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has her very first book signing and blows it by screaming at another author there, then calls for other adoptees to harass the woman AND publishes the woman’s phone number on social media. January 3, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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Read this blog post by Gert McQueen to read how Joan aka Doris started screaming at another author at a book signing event held at the Buffalo Historical Museum. And then goes after the author by telling other adoptees to harass her, and publishes the author’s phone number. what a bitch Joan/Doris is – but we all know that anyway. (by the way, the author’s [Mary Arno] contact information, including email and phone number ARE on her flyer/website. I chose NOT to publish the phone number here. Joan/Doris publicized the phone number, not to generate interest or possible sales for Mary Arno, but to have others stalk and harass her. And that’s WRONG!)

If this is HOW Doris M. Sippel/Joan M. Wheeler behaves, towards another author, at her FIRST BOOK SIGNING, than she ought to be banned from book signings!

Here is Joan/Doris’ own account on her facebook page about how proud she is to have been verbally abusive to another person AND calls for that person to be stalked and harassed by other adoptees. 

Doris Michol Sippel December 1 at 8:48pm · Buffalo 


I was one of 65 local authors who presented their books for sale at the Buffalo (New York) History Museum on Sat Nov 26, 2016. This was my very first author event for my memoir, Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity. (Amazon) 

The woman to my right handed me her book mark. She is a well-known author by the name of Mary Arno. Here is here contact info from her book mark: 716- &&&-&&&&

 (You will need it to send her emails to inform her about the reality of adoption. She has no clue.) 

I gave her my flyer. She read it: “The death of my married mother when I was an infant led to my closed adoption. Eighteen years later, I was found by family I did not know I had.” Inside the flyer was a statement about sealed birth certificates and falsified birth certificates. 

Mary Arno turned to me and said, “you sound very angry!” 

I shot out at her, “I am now! Thank you for putting me on the defensive! I am the expert of my life!” 

She said, “You should be mad at your BIOLOGICAL mother for giving you away, not at your adoptive parents…” 

At hearing her refer to my MOTHER as my “BIOLOGICAL MOTHER”, I got even madder and began shouting at her. “My mother died!” 

But she didn’t even acknowledge my loss. “Then you should be mad at your father for giving you away, not at your adoptive parents!” 

“I never blamed my father for giving me away! He was in an impossible situation, a father of five children, his wife died of cancer, how I could blame him…” 

Mary Arno shot back at me, “Oh no, it is clearly his fault! He willing gave you away! You SHOULD blame him!” And in the next breath, she asked, “Your adoptive parents loved you, didn’t they?” 

I yelled, “Oh? My adoptive parents lied to me my entire life! Lies, lies, lies! And more lies! They knew I had sisters and a brother who lived 6 miles from me my entire childhood, yet they willfully prevented me from knowing my own siblings! I would hardly call that love! New York State stole my birth certificate and I’m not supposed to upset over that?” 

“I am an adoptive mother so I have a different opinion than you do,” Mary Arno declared smugly. 

I shouted back at her. “You did not give birth so your name does not belong on a birth certificate.” 

“That is your opinion!” Mary Arno snapped back at me. 

“It’s more than my opinion. I have 42 years of personal and professional experience in adoption reform. This is a global movement to eradicate adoption from the planet. Adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss are rising in protest against adoption.”

I told her I am fighting New York State for my right to my own birth certificate. She said I should do just that! As if I need her permission for my activism! 

Then Mary Arno said to me, “So, writing your memoir, that must have been a very cathartic experience for you.” 

Nice going. What a put-down. No, it actually was hard work. As if all adoptees who write memoirs write simply to “get it out of our systems” so “we can move on with our lives”. Hell, I wouldn’t wish this journey on my worst enemy. 

Somehow, I got through he two hour event by talking with people as they came up to the table. 

I sent Mary Arno a long email on the proper etiquette on how to talk with an adopted person. I encourage all adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss to do so as well. 

Here is the front and back of Mary Arno’s bookmark with her website and contact info – email and phone number. Yes, she lives in Buffalo, New York. 716- &&&-&&&&


Paula – January 4, 2017    –  Mary Arno read her like a book!! (pun intended!)

Ruth – January 4, 2017   –  ha ha ha

gertmcqueen – January 4, 2017   –  I’m quite sure that Mary Arno ‘knows’ what type Joan/Doris is alright! Unless someone is on the ‘same’ page as Joan/Doris, they are ‘bookmarked’ as enemy.

Ruth – January 4, 2017 – hmmm, Joan/Doris says “Somehow, I got through the two hour event …” – seems as tho I’ve read that line before – oh yeah, in her book, Joan is always just “getting through” events –because she ‘suffers’ so damn much!

Well, if she would treat people nicely, then people wouldn’t get mad at her, and then she wouldn’t have to SUFFER all the time.   but the ass NEVER learns that.

 gertmcqueen – January 4, 2017   – I can just image what that must have been like for the unfortunate ones that had to ‘deal’ with Joan/Doris as she ‘got through’ the event. Sure hope that the event organizers read my blog, for I sent them the link! and then J/D won’t have to worry about ‘suffering through’ another event

she ought to be banned from book signings January 3, 2017

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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